(Steven is watching an fantasy anime show in his bedroom. Then a phone rings which Steven answers.)
Steven: Oh, hey Cartman. What's going on?
Cartman: Hey Steven, I need to come play some tabletop game. Gather your fantasy shit and meet me at my house. And bring your phone!
(Steven went to Cartman's house where he found Bendy, Sans, Ruby and Luz also awaiting him.)
Steven: Hey everyone do you have your sheets.
(They all held their sheets for their various characters.)
Steven: *holds up his character sheet* I got mine too. *sits on a chair*
Cartman: Since you're here, I made a campaign mixed with Dungeons and Dragons and Magic: The Gathering because I feel like it. As you can see, while doing The Stick of Truth: Extended Edition where I was the high king, some asshole like Clyde wanted to use some superweapon to destroy the world because he likes to ruin shit. So then we played superheroes and guess what happened? Butters threw a wild sex party. And now because of that, I've made a bunch of fucking rules, and then once there were rules, everyone started arguing over the rules and then I made that campaign. It's called... Chronicles of Ea-Tor. Yeah, it's kinda like The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia. Long ago in the land of Ea-Tor, there was a time when the denizens lived in harmony. It began with the forging of the rings. Three were given to the elves. Immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the dwarf lords. Great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine gifted to the race of men, who above all else, desire power. And there were other races. The gargoyles, the angels of the night. The dragons of the skies, the merfolk of the seas, the centaurs of the plains, the giants of the mountains, the talking beasts of all lands, and practicians of the magical arts. For within these magic items bound the strength and will govern each race. But they were all deceived... for another item was made. In the Grimlands, the Dark Lord, Dryskor, forged a die... to control destiny. And then, to this die, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. One die to rule them all. One by one, Free Lands of the world fell to his power, gathering forth an army of goblins, ogres, dark elves, gnolls, sahuagin, ratfolk, batfolk, and so on. But there was some resisted. An alliance of all the Free People, march together. And on the slopes of the Mount Pain, they fought for the freedom of their lands. Victory was near. But the power of the die... cannot be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that a young knight took up his grandfather's sword. The knight knocked the Die of Destiny out of Dryskor's hand, resulting in its disappearance. Years passed, the Die of Destiny is found by a evil red dragon named Inirhrallax. Your quest is to find the Die of Destiny and cast it into the fires of Mount Pain. Now like all DnD campaigns, it begins in a bar.
Steven: What is the bar called?
Cartman: The Hanged Negro.
(Everyone looked displeased.)
Luz: Errrr, maybe come up with a different name.
Cartman: Okay, the Gang Raped Witch. Like that Latinex.
Sans: Latinex? Is that some sort of cleaning product?
Ruby: Okay, okay, how about the bar is called... the Ugly Duckling?
Cartman: You are all in a bar called the Hanged Negro when suddenly a mysterious robbed man appears. This man claims he is looking for adventurers to aid him on a noble quest. Care to introduce yourselves to the robbed man?
Steven: I am a paladin.
(Steven imagines himself as a husky man with a slight beard and long curly hair. He is wearing pink armor with Rose Quartz imbedded and wields his signature sword and shield.)
Ruby: I am a ranger!
(Bendy didn't say anything but showed a picture of himself as a rogue.)
Luz: I am a witch.
(Luz used an Azura figurine as her model. Sans was dozing off.)
Cartman: Sans? Sans. Come on, dude, wake up. Sans. SANS!!!
Sans: *wakes up* Huh?
Cartman: You can't just sleep, you gotta introduce your character.
Sans: I am... a sorcerer.
Cartman: Now that you are all introduced you go with the old man into a private room. There the old man reveals himself to be a wizard and that he is looking for warriors to help you kill the red dragon and destroy the Die of Destiny.
Luz: Oh can you do the whole cool voice thing?
Cartman: No way Latinex, I already did that with the introduction.
Luz: It's Luz.
Cartman: Whatever. So you head out on your quest to find the Red Dragon Inirhrallax.
Sans: And I use my magic to teleport.
Cartman: You can't do that.
Sans: Why not?
Cartman: Because then the whole game is over.
Sans: Well, we are on a quest to save the world, wouldn't it make sense to finish it as quickly as possible?
Cartman: The idiot wizard Sans foolishly tries to cast a teleportation spell. But little does he realize that it needs a nat 20 to do so.
(Sans rolls the dice and get a nat 20.)
Cartman: Sans successfully casts the spell and winds up in Inirhrallax's lair. As for the rest of you, you should meet up with Sans the asshole skeleton at Inirhrallax's lair. Fuckin' douchebag.
Sans: Alright, I will just teleport back and...
Cartman: The dragon, Inirhrallax, uses a cloth covered in chloroform to knock out Sans and lock him in a magic proof cage.
Luz: Chloroform? That doesn't feel like a medieval type thing to use.
Cartman: You want me to call ICE? I will call ICE on you.
Ruby: Please don't call ICE! We'll do anything! Anything!
Cartman: Now shut up and be good players. Now following the wizard, the party comes across a camp of goblins. So they decide to go in and kill them.
Steven: Why?
Cartman: Because they are goblins, they are ugly and gross and should be killed.
Ruby: But...
Cartman: What did I just say?! Now you all go into the goblin camp in order to kill them. Everyone roll for attack.
(With that, the players rolled for initiative. Steven rolls a 17, Ruby rolls a 16, Bendy rolls a 14, and Luz rolls a 19.)
Cartman: Luz, what do you do?
Luz: I cast... Magic Missile!
(Luz cackles as her missiles launch and kill the goblins.)
Steven: I use my shield as a frisbee.
(The shield bounces around, knocking out the goblins.)
Ruby: I guess I just shoot people.
(Ruby shoots the goblins with arrows. Bendy makes a stabbing gesture, his character dissolves into ink and reassembles to stab people.)
Cartman: Uh, Bendy? Can you open your mouth and speak so I can understand a word?
Sans: You know Bendy is a mute.
Bendy: *nods*
Cartman: Oh yeah, right. So after killing the Goblins. You continue on your way.
Steven: So we killed them for no reason?
Cartman: They are goblins. What more reason do you need?
Luz: Well, killing them should be in some way relevant to our quest. Maybe they have a map leading to the dragon. Or maybe we spare one of the goblins and he reveals that he the goblins were working for the dragon. Now he reveals where the dragon is located as long as we let him leave.
Ruby: Now THAT is a story.
Cartman: Alright then. So your Goblin slave... named Kyle....
(Elsewhere Kyle sneezed.)
Cartman: Kyle led you to the dragons lair. But it was a long story and they got attacked along the way by Jews...
Everyone: No Jews.
Cartman: Negros? Trans people? Feminists?
Luz: Robots.
Ruby: Do they have robots in GnD?
Luz: Do they have what Cartman suggested?
Cartman: I only put Jews because I do whatever I want. You can't change my campaign beacuse it's my campaign!
Steven: Says who?
Cartman: Says me! When you kill all the Jews, you take all the Jew Gold! Roll for initiave right now!
Luz: You're not a good Dungeon Master, you're a sore loser!
Cartman: I'M NOT! I'm a powerful Dungeon Master that controls the whole universe and you know that's nonsense! I want to put anything I want, you sambu!
Luz: *gasps in fury* That's... so offensive! You can't say that!
Cartman: Well, fuck you anyway! You're all fags here! You hear me?! FAGS!!!
Sans: Come on, gang. Let's play D&D with Kyle. I don't like fatty's attitude.
Cartman: I'm not fat, I'm big-boned! BIG-BONED!!
(The gang left the table and head upstairs.)
Cartman: Don't walk away from me, assholes! I am the Dungeon Master, and you will-
Steven: *closes the door*
Cartman: DAMMIT!!
(Cartman leaves the table and approaches a safe. Cartman entered the code and when the safe opened, it was the Die of Destiny.)
Cartman: *grabs the Die of Destiny with two fingers* The time has come.
(Later, Cartman recruits Butters, Clyde, Craig and Tweek into helping him merge Beach City, South Park, Gravesfield, Demon Realm, Remnant and Equestria into his own D&D world. Night falls as Cartman, Butters, Clyde, Craig and Tweek snuck into Canterlot without being detected. They soon entered a forbidden library where Cartman does research on creating a D&D world of his own.)
Butter: Are you sure it's a good idea, Eric? W-We shouldn't be here.
Cartman: Shut up, Butters. *flips the pages* No. No. Aha! This is it, gentlemen. The moment I will turn everything into my D&D world.
(Cartman proceeds to chant the incantation with the Die of Destiny. But Sans kicks down the door.)
Cartman: Sans?
Sans: Funs over, fatty.
Cartman: But how?
Sans: I am Sans, knowing things is my speciality. Also if anyone is petty enough to merge worlds just to spite people it would be you.
Cartman: But how did you know?
Sans: I have the power to see multiple timelines. I saw timelines in which you mess up the world and I sensed the die's power while I was in your house.
Butters: Then why didn't you stop him then before?
Sans: I was hoping this wouldn't be a timeline in which Cartman destroys the world.
(Sans eyes glow with blue fire.)
Sans: Now hand over the die before things get nasty.
Cartman: *pulls out a mace* Fuck you, Sans! *sprays Sans' eyes*
Sans: That won't work, I don't have eyeballs.
(Cartman takes off his shirt and get ready to brawl. Sans slaps him in the face and Cartman starts wailing. Sans grabs the die and leaves.)
Sans: Now to find someway to dispose of this.
(Before Sans can leave, Craig shot Sans with a tranquilizer dart. Craig picks up the die and gives it to Cartman.)
Cartman: Thank you, Craig. Where was I? Oh yeah.
(As Cartman chant the incantation, Steven, Ruby, Bendy and Luz are looking for Sans till they see him unconscious.)
Luz: Sans!
(Steven, Ruby, Bendy and Luz helped Sans up but are too late to stop Cartman merging Beach City, South Park, Gravesfield, Demon Realm, Remnant and Equestria into his D&D world. After Cartman finishes his ritual, light and mystical energy shined and engulfed everything. Upon waking up, the five find themselves in a enchanted world.)
Ruby: Where are we?
Steven: I don't know. Whoa... I'm a paladin!
Ruby: Oh my gosh, I'm a ranger! Pew!
Sans: And I am a sorcerer. Floating hands. What are you, Bendy?
(Bendy holds up the sign that says "Rogue".)
Sans: Gotcha.
Luz: I... am the Good Wizardess, Luz Noceda!
Sans: Nice.
Applejack: Somepony wanna tell me what the hay is goin' on?
(Steven, Ruby, Sans, Bendy and Luz turn to see Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Spike.)
Sans: Looks like I botched it up.
Twilight: Say what now?
Sans: Cartman used an all powerful die to merge our lands together, so he can be an all powerful dungeon master.
Luz: I suppose this is our fault for hanging out with him.
Steven: But what about the Mane Six? They had nothing to do with the game, why did he include them?
Bendy: *shrugs*
Steven: Wait, he must've snuck into Canterlot's forbidden library.
Pinkie Pie: He did WHAT?!
Twilight: Then we have to warn Princess Celestia.
Stan: I can take you there.
(The group look up to see Stan standing on a tree as he jumps down.)
Steven: Stan?
Stan: Hey Steven.
Steven: What are you doing here?
Stan: I was sent by High King Kyle to find you guys.
Luz: Kyle's the high king?
Stan: High King of the Emerald Alliance, mostly. Come on, we got no time to waste.
(Stan runs off with the group following him. Unknown to them, Craig and a group of goblins are on wargs, spying on our heroes. As they walk for a long time, they reach a castle mixed between Stormwind City, Canterlot, and Minas Tirith.)
Stan: Here we are, guys. Emeraldstone City.
(A pair of guards notice Stan bringing the group and opened the gates. The group entered the castle where they saw ponies, elves, dwarfs, gnomes, fairies, dragons, griffins, hippogriffs, centaurs, fauns, cyclopes, yokai, merfolk, vampires, werewolves, gargoyles, trolls, yetis, kirin, hobbits, orcs, great eagles, kobolds, changelings, minotaurs, tritons, cecaelia, and beastfolk. They soon entered the throne room where High King Kyle, Celestia, Luna, and several leaders await them.)