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Your Attention, Please? Elementary, My Dear
Schooled is the 13th issue of Comic Con Incorporated.


While enjoying themselves in the beach and the swimming park, Ms. Marvel, Terra, Sabrina and their friends run to Pepper Potts and Captain Marvel, who teach them how it is like to be a lifeguard. Meanwhile, Harley Quinn is doing everything it takes to win Cheryl Blossom's friendship so that she will not feel uncomfortable at the hotel, even if it means to save her from staged perils she puts Cheryl on.


(it starts with Ms. Marvel, Terra, Sabrina Spellman, Ghost Spider, Starfire and Chloe Flan enjoying a day in beach)
Terra: (she uses her Earth-bending powers to create a sand sculpture) Hey, girls. (she shows the others her sculpture, which resembles the Joker running away from the duck doll) What do you think? (the girls laugh. And Terra laughs with them)
Ms. Marvel: That one was so prime! (continues laughing)
Starfire: (laughing) Indeed! The most hilarious activity we have ever witnessed!
(they continue laughing until they take a breath and sigh with a smile)
Ghost Spider: And you know, as much as that clown Harley was a bit of a brat because of her big ambitions with the Joker, I kinda felt bad for her after what happened yesterday.
Terra: Never thought I'd say this, but yeah. Me too.
Sabrina Spellman: Even Cheryl didn't like it when Joker got Harley injured. Can you believe it?
Chloe Flan: I honestly never knew she cared.
Starfire: It is a surprise to me as well.
Ms. Marvel: Same. (scene shifts to Harley walking around) Although, I'm not sure that'll take long.
Poison Ivy: How's your back, Harl?
Harley Quinn: Pretty good. Just a few scratches, but I'm okay. Thank you, Pammy.
Poison Ivy: Okay. But you gotta be careful next time when you run like that again. I'd hate to see you ending your first week in this hotel before even beginning.
Harley Quinn: Sure. (she addresses to Cheryl Blossom) So, Cheryl? Any plans for our gals' evening?
Cheryl Blossom: (acting uninterested) Well... I'm not doing anything too formidable. So... (I can't believe I'm saying this.) ... lead the way.
Harley Quinn: (hugs Cheryl cheerfully) Thank you so much! I promise you won't regret this!
Cheryl Blossom: (acting uninterested) I'm sure I won't. (But the again, I will without a doubt, I will. Most remorsefully.)
(scene shifts back to the girls in the beach. They spot a girl roomer wearing arm floats in dense sea)
Beach Girl: (desperate) HELP! HELP ME! SOMEONE!
Ms. Marvel: That girl's in trouble. (runs to the sea) I'm going in. (she swims towards the girl) It's okay. I'm here to help.
Beach Girl: Please! I'm trying to get back to land. But I can't swim!
Ms. Marvel: Just hang on. (the girl holds on Ms. Marvel's back as Ms. Marvel swims her safely back to land) There you go.
Beach Girl: (hugs Ms. Marvel) Thank you. Next time, I'll swim with mommy and daddy.
Ms. Marvel: Good decision.
(the girls come at Ms. Marvel and congratulate her. Then, they are met with Captain Marvel)
Captain Marvel: Pepper and I saw everything from the watchtower, Kamala. That was some amazing performance.
Ms. Marvel: I just did what I had to do. But, thank you.
Captain Marvel: Say. You girls interested in learning to be lifeguards?
Starfire: That would be a great pleasure!
Ghost Spider: Truly!
Sabrina Spellman: Absolutely!
Terra: Me too!
Chloe Flan: Yeah!
Ms. Marvel: No doubt!
Captain Marvel: Alright then. Follow me.
(scene shifts again to Harley Quinn with Cheryl Blossom. They are in a hot tub)
Harley Quinn: (telling a tale about her time with Poison Ivy) And then, we traveled to Costa Verde, where Pam planned to save an entire jungle of rare plants from two thugs trying to burn it down to ashes and slice it to pieces. And then, we went to Hollywood to take a bigger view on that movie they were gonna make of us. And then...
Cheryl Blossom: (while Harley continues talking, Cheryl is thinking) Seriously...! If I'd chosen Volcana and Killer Frost as my roommates, I wouldn't get into this trouble! Ever! (sees Mary Jane Watson and Lois Lane having a massage treatment by Jocasta and Aya and seemingly asleep) (thinking) And how can these two not be hearing a single word this clown is saying?!!
(a close up to Mary Jane and Lois shows them with headphones and listening to music)
Background Lyrics: (from the headphones) "Needless to say, I keep her in check...
She was all bad-bad, nevertheless (yeah)...
Callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck (wreck)...
Crash at my place, baby, you're a wreck (wreck)...
(scene shifts to the girls wearing Lifeguard swimsuits. We see Starfire, Kamala Khan and Chloe Flan at the swimming park with Pepper Potts and, at the same time, Tara Markov, Gwen Stacy and Sabrina Spellman in the beach with Captain Marvel)
Pepper Potts: It's going to take some high preparations other than just these uniforms you're wearing right now to become a lifeguard. But Carol and I are sure you can handle it well.
Captain Marvel: So, pay really good attention on the lessons you learn to carry on. Starting with these first three.
(a sequence of scenes shows the girls following Pepper and Captain Marvel's instructions)
Pepper Potts: Lesson 1: Identify and prevent common land-based emergencies. (we see Starfire and Chloe treating Julie Power's arm injury)
Captain Marvel: Lesson 2: Avoid distractions. (we see Sabrina and Gwen sitting in a watchtower and ignoring Lobo, who is trying to get their attention)
Both: Lesson 3: Work together with the rest of your lifeguard team. (we see the girls lifting a lifeguard boat together)
(scene shifts to Harley and Cheryl walking together. Cheryl is still in bad mood and Harley notices her worriedly)
Harley Quinn: (thinking) Jeez. Cheryl still doesn't seem to like me very much. She looks so angry. Am I being too annoying for her? (they continue walking until they reach a room full of boxes. Harley smiles and a light bulb image appears over her head; she has an idea) Maybe... (she discreetly knocks one of the boxes, causing others to shake) (shouting) Look out, Cheryl! The boxes are collapsing! (drags Cheryl away from the collapsing boxes) Those boxes are all full of...! (the boxes fall over them. And from them, come Styrofoam. The two submerge unharmed) Styrofoam?
Cheryl Blossom: And what's wrong with you?! (walks away frustrated as Harley reacts ashamed)
Harley Quinn: (thinking) That didn't work too well. But I gotta keep trying. Somehow. (later, we a sequence of scenes showing Harley's attempts to win Cheryl's gratitude by trying to save from staged perils. None of them work well. Then, we see Harley walking sadly as Cheryl rides on a jet boat with a trio of muscular beach men) I give up. It's no use. (shouting) I'm useless! (starts crying as Kamala approaches her)
Kamala Khan: Another failure with Cheryl?
Harley Quinn: I simply don't know what to do anymore. I tried everything I could. Even faking the perils I'd save her from. But nothing. I still got nothing! (sobs)
Captain Marvel: (to Kamala) Anything wrong there?
Kamala Khan: Nothing wrong. Just Harley losing Cheryl's love again.
Captain Marvel: So I see.
(we see Cheryl with the beach men at the jet boat while Jughead Jones and Dilton Doiley are in their own)
Cheryl Blossom: Speed it up, boys! I want speed! (the jet boat speeds up further) WHOOOOHOOO!!!
Dilton Doiley: (noticing the jet boat Cheryl is in) I think maybe they should slow that boat down.
Jughead Jones: Why? They're not any close to kids. Are they?
Dilton Doiley: No. But they're very close to the rocks. (picks a megaphone and shouts) Slow down! You're about to crash!
Beach Man #1: (hearing Dilton shout) What'd that nerd say?
Beach Man #2: I think he said... (sees the rocks up ahead) LOOK OUT!!! (the boat crashes as the beach men are knocked unconscious and Cheryl falls in the sea)
Cheryl Blossom: (panicking) Somebody help me! I can't swim! HELP!
(Captain Marvel and Starfire fly towards the wreckage while others follow in lifeboats)
Captain Marvel: Alright, girls. Show me what you learned.
Starfire: It will be done.
Kamala Khan: You got it, Cap. (notices Harley in the lifeboat she is in) What are you doing?
Harley Quinn: This might be my only chance. I have to do this!
Kamala Khan: (sighs annoyed) Fine.
(the girls recover the beach men and save Cheryl from drowning. We see Chloe, Starfire and Captain Marvel treating two of the beach men's injuries, Gwen, Tara and Sabrina checking reviving one of the beach men and Kamala standing next to an unconscious Cheryl)
Captain Marvel: (about Cheryl) How's she?
Kamala Khan: Still alive. She just needs to breathe more. (she and the girls stare at a nearly tearful Harley. Kamala addresses to Captain Marvel) Do we...?
Captain Marvel: (to Harley) You know how to do rescue breathing?
Harley Quinn: Well... yes.
Captain Marvel: Then... she's all yours.
Harley Quinn: Thank you so much, Cap! (putting her hands on Cheryl's forehead and chin) Don't worry, Puddin'. I'm here.
(the girls are shocked to hear what Harley just called Cheryl)
Tara Markov: (quietly) "Puddin'"?!
Gwen Stacy: I got a bad feeling about this...
Captain Marvel: (gets the girls to turn their back on Harley) Me too. And you might wanna close your eyes, girls. This is gonna get ugly.
(the girls close their eyes while Harley is shown standing over Cheryl and doing Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (offscreen) on her)
Cheryl Blossom: (coughs and recovers dizzy) What... what just happened?
Harley Quinn: Red! You're back! (hugs Cheryl)
Cheryl Blossom: (confused) Back? From where?
(Captain Marvel and the girls react in disgust, but decide to just keep quiet. Next scene, the girls are in the beach back in their swimsuits with Captain Marvel back in her post)
Captain Marvel: Well, despite that fiasco we better not discuss about, the rest of the day was pretty good. Wasn't it?
Kamala Khan: It was really wonderful. And again, thank you for being your teacher, Cap.
Captain Marvel: It was a pleasure. For me and Pepper.
Gwen Stacy: We're still gonna do this again one day?
Captain Marvel: Only in the Avengers Facility. Because here, you roomers need to enjoy your summer. And we managers need to work for it. (Pepper comes by) How are they doing?
Pepper Potts: Still doing soft bones. But they're still holding on. (we see Cheryl and Harley, who are practicing swimming by paddling in a kiddie pool) Keep that up! No soft bones!
Captain Marvel: (to the girls) Cheryl felt a bit traumatized when she almost drowned with the boys back there. And Harley felt too scared to swim on the sea because she can't swim either. So, Pepper and I decided to give them those junior swimming classes until they feel like swimming like dolphins in bigger water.
Sabrina Spellman: Do we tell Cheryl that Harley...? (Pepper interrupts with her finger on Sabrina's lips and waves her other hand's finger for No) Another lesson about being a lifeguard?
Pepper Potts: Unofficial. But, yes. And that is: Don't tell your patients of things they wouldn't like to hear of. Their trauma may get worse.
Sabrina Spellman: And what about that? (they see Gwen, Chloe, Kamala and Tara taking pictures of Cheryl and Harley with their cellphones for their amusement)
Captain Marvel and Pepper Potts: (make a "Sure. Why not?" expression with a smile) Nothing to judge about. (stare at each other with the same smile) Teenagers.
(Cheryl and Harley continue practicing swimming with the girls just watching and laughing)

"The End"

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