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No Babies Allowed Dude, Where's That Seal?
Crazy Vacancy is the 10th issue of Comic Con Incorporated.


Having decided to travel with Volcana and Killer Frost, Harley Quinn finally reaches for the C.C.I. Hotel, but she is still going for another small trip around like Ms. Marvel had to go for. Meanwhile, Cheryl Blossom (jealous of Ms. Marvel and Sabrina's better comfort) shares numerous personality quiz lists for new roomers to answer to determine which one of them will be her roommate. And Ms. Marvel, Sabrina and Terra have little doubts about who the chosen roomer will be: the one Cheryl least expects and wants...


(we see Harley Quinn in Volcana and Killer Frost's car. She is about to ask something, but keeps herself quiet)
Killer Frost: Anything to say, Harley?
Harley Quinn: I was about to ask for that. But, I'll be gentle and won't ask.
Volcana: You were about to ask: "Are we there yet?". Weren't you?
Harley Quinn: How do you know?
Killer Frost: It's normally like this. Passengers are used to ask for that when the trip takes long.
Volcana: And drivers are usually too moody to answer. But, I'll be patient and answer. (joyfully) Especially, baby, because... (they see the C.C.I. hotel in the distance; singing tone) ...we've made it!
(Frost and Harley cheer. Scene shifts to Cheryl Blossom walking around the swimming park as she sees Ms. Marvel, Sabrina and Terra sliding on the toboggan)
Cheryl Blossom: (thinking) Really must admit. They're not the helpless little girls or cry babies I thought they are. They're true pros when it comes with being part of a big party. Still, they don't sleep in their rooms alone like I do. (takes a short look at her handbag to see her teddy bear) But they still proved to be better than me after last night. I guess I have to follow their example to prove to them I learned my lesson. But how? (she pauses and remembers Omochao's words from the announcement)
Omochao: (in Cheryl's thinking balloon) You can either have a room for yourself and your family. Or, you can share it with a roommate. Don't you worry. We'll grant you all the great comfort you wish just the same.
Cheryl Blossom: (thinking balloon pops out) Yeah. Maybe that can help.
(we see her next to Thanos)
Thanos: May I help you, ms. Blossom?
Cheryl Blossom: Just wondering. Can I have a second key for my room?
Thanos: In case you want to welcome a roommate?
Cheryl Blossom: Yes. Please?
Thanos: (checking Cheryl's inscription in the roomers' list) ... (passes a key) Here you go.
Cheryl Blossom: Thank you. (we see her in the hotel's library printing copies of a page she owns in the scanner) These will have to do. (next scene, she is with Thanos who is overseeing the copies)
Thanos: Are those really necessary?
Cheryl Blossom: Well... you never know the precautions.
Thanos: Very well then.
(from outside, Ms. Marvel, Terra and Sabrina see what is going on. They know what Cheryl is up to, as they see a copy of the pages she wrote)
Terra: Now, a part of that may be a really bad idea.
Ms. Marvel: Thinking this personality quiz will help determine the suitable roommate. The final result about the winner might not be a good one.
Sabrina Spellman: I couldn't agree more with what you're thinking. (they see new roomers coming. Omochao is passing the copies of Cheryl's quiz)
Terra: (sees Harley Quinn taking a copy) If the winner is who I think it is... well... I'd hate to be Cheryl right now.
Ms. Marvel: (she and Sabrina see Harley and figure what Terra is saying) Seeing Harley there, I just have say: I cannot disagree with your opinion.
Sabrina Spellman: Not a trace of doubt in my mind. (sees Volcana and Killer Frost just walking towards the reception room) Well, at least these two won't be part of that.
Terra: True.
(as the three girls continue talking, Volcana and Killer Frost approach)
Volcana: Gotta say. This place feels as big as an entire town. Don't you think?
Killer Frost: Maybe the size of six colleges combined.
Volcana: Do tell. (as she and Frost continue walking, they gently greet Terra)
Both: Hi, Terra. (Frost winks at Terra)
Terra: Hi. (Volcana and Frost continue walking until they meet with Thanos) I still think it's unbelievable. How even the supervillains are really being nice guys on this hotel.
Ms. Marvel: Almost getting the feeling that they're taking a break from even being the bad guys we used to know. Heh. (Terra and Sabrina laugh and she laughs with them)
Sabrina Spellman: Yeah. And I'd want to see how far this will go.
(next scene, Harley is in a tour vehicle with the new roomers in the introduction trip (just like the one Omochao gave Ms. Marvel before))
Harley Quinn: Okay... (answering the question of Cheryl's quiz) I do this... I do that... I like this one... And that one... Oh! That one! What else?
(while she continues answering the quiz, Harley also admires the hotel. Meanwhile, Squirrel Girl and Ghost Spider (wearing a swimsuit variant of her costume with a mask which leave her eyes, hair and mouth visible) are playing ball in the pool with Poison Ivy watching)
Ghost Spider: (addressing to Ivy) Are you sure you don't wanna go for a swim now, ms. Ivy?
Poison Ivy: Honey, I would love to. But I just took a sunscreen. I can't get wet yet. I have to wait ten minutes until...
Harley Quinn: (the tour vehicle runs on the road near the swimming park and Harley happily sees Poison Ivy) Hi, Pammy!
Poison Ivy: (sees Harley in the tour vehicle) Well, look who decided to show up. Hi, Harley!
Ghost Spider: (to Ivy) Friend of yours?
Poison Ivy: She's a bit annoying sometimes. But then again, yes. She's a friend. Best friend.
(we see the Joker at the golf camp. He is about to take a shot)
The Joker: Stay focus... stay focus....
(the tour vehicle runs into a road near the golf camp as Harley sees the Joker and Superman walks around with Lois Lane and their children Jonathan Samuel Kent and Lara Lane-Kent)
Superman: (sees Harley picking a megaphone) Kids. Honey. You might wanna cover your ears right now.
Lois Lane: Why, Clark? (sees what Harley is doing) Oh. You heard Daddy, sweeties. Cover your little ears. It's going to get loud in here. (Jonathan and Lara do so as Lois covers her own ears)
Harley Quinn: (with the megaphone) HI, PUDDIN'!
(Joker gets startled by Harley's scream, which causes him to recklessly hit the ball, which ricochets around the camp and powerfully hits on Joker's groin)
The Joker: (as everyone stares at him to his embarrassment, the Joker stares at Harley angrily) Harley...!
(scene cuts to Volcana with Poison Ivy at the beach)
Poison Ivy: If I knew Harley wanted to go to this hotel, definitely I would've brought her in myself. But, I gotta really thank you and Frost for having already done so for me.
Volcana: Sure. Sure. It was a pleasure, Pam. (sees Ms. Marvel and Sabrina making sand sculptures) So that cutie's the new girl they call Ms. Marvel. Huh? Big fan of her style.
Poison Ivy: So am I. I heard she's becoming most people's favorite Inhuman. For both heroes and villains. Did you know that?
Volcana: Couldn't ignore those news. (sees Omochao passing Cheryl Blossom the complete quiz lists) So, what's with those school exams that redhead's been sharing with Harley and the new faces in this hotel?
(scene shifts to Killer Frost in the sauna with Terra and Supergirl; she had asked the same question Volcana asked and was given the answer)
Killer Frost: All this just to decide who's gonna be her roommate?
Supergirl: If I heard it right, that was the idea.
Killer Frost: That sounds dumb. Dumb and boring.
Terra: Yeah, I know. But, what else can she do? She's kinda too lazy with making choices. But that's not the worst part.
(as they continue talking, we see Thanos receiving the winner (off-screen) of Cheryl's quiz and giving him/her the key to Cheryl's room before addressing to the other roomers)
Killer Frost: (voice over) You're saying that because there's a good chance the winner won't be the one she expects?
Terra: (voice over) And less than that, the other she wants. Considering how bad the result will be, I'd hate to be Cheryl right now.
Supergirl: (voice over) Might have any thought of who it would happen to be. Wouldn't you?
Killer Frost: (voice over) Even if I knew who it could be, to tell you the truth, I wouldn't even care.

"That Night..."

(we see Cheryl walking around the corridors as the roomers are going to their rooms)
Cheryl Blossom: (sees her room's door open) Did I leave the door unlocked? (realizes) Oh, it must be my roommate. Whoever he or she is.
Omochao: (coming in) It is indeed, ms. Blossom. Although... she's a little hard to tolerate...
Cheryl Blossom: Hard to tolerate? What are you talking abo... (she turns to see her roommate, and shows off a horror-struck face) Oh, no!
(Cheryl's roommate is revealed to be Harley Quinn)
Harley Quinn: Hi, sis! (she quickly hugs Cheryl) Let's have some sweet summer together?
Omochao: (Cheryl stares at him) Don't blame it on me. I just gave her and other newcomers the quiz lists. And Thanos passed them identification numbers. Not names.
Cheryl Blossom: Does that mean I'm stuck in here with her?
Omochao: That depends on how long you signed up to stay in this hotel. Or, how long (to Harley) she'll want to stay. (he leaves)
Harley Quinn: Oh, we're gonna have so much fun in this hotel together! We're gonna swim! We're gonna dance! We're gonna...!
(as Harley continues speaking (her speech balloon repeatedly shows the words "blah") while others talk over her speech)
Cheryl Blossom: (on her thoughts) I can't believe I brought this nightmare on myself! Next time, I'll google about roomers so I won't repeat this mistake again.
(scene shifts to Loki and Poison Ivy in a double bed)
Loki: I must say. That woman will not end up too well sharing her room with your friend.
Poison Ivy: I'm almost gonna feel sorry for poor little Cheryl.
(scene shifts to Supergirl and Batgirl in their room)
Supergirl: (she hears Harley talking) Wow. Harley sure has such a big mouth for a small head. She just doesn't stop talking.
Batgirl: If Cheryl had foreseen this, she'd never get the newbies to play her little quiz game. Maybe next time, she'll be less lazy on picking roommates.
(scene shifts to Sonic and his friends in their room)
Sally Acorn: Someone should tell that spoiled brat that this was a bad idea.
Sonic the Hedgehog: No can do. She wouldn't listen anyway.
Knuckles the Echidna: So, now she's stuck with that other brat for the rest of this summer?
Miles "Tails" Prower: It's the price for being lazy.
(Scene shifts to Joker in his room, who is listening to Harley's babbling)
The Joker: (trying to get a sleep, he leaps out of his bed and starts punching the walls) HARLEY!!! WILL YOU AND YOUR BRATTY ROOMMATE JUST GO SLEEP ALREADY?!?!?!
(scene shifts to Superman and Terra in their room. Both are sitting in the sofa, on which Superman is reading a newspapper while Terra is playing a handheld video game)
Superman: (hearing everything) What a price for this big mistake she made. Now, that sad misfortunate soul will have nightmares with that clown's voice in her head.
Terra: That's one reason why parents keep telling their kids not to talk to strangers. Right?
Superman: More or less. But in this case, yes.
(scene shifts to Kamala Khan and Sabrina in their room)
Kamala Khan: (listening to the Joker's yelling) Wow. Even the Joker got annoyed.
Sabrina Spellman: If I heard it right from Terra, the Joker doesn't even truly like Harley. He never did. The Joker loves nothing except himself.
Kamala Khan: Shame on him. (she and Sabrina look at each other with a smile) Good thing we're not in this.
Sabrina Spellman: So true.

"The End"

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