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This is the first issue of Agents of W.A.D.E.

Transcript

The issue starts at the bus stop in a Queens suburb as MJ is almost missing the bus to Midtown High.

  • MJ: No!

She rushes into the bus and quickly jumps in it.

  • MJ: (panting) Whew! Just in time.

She sighs as she sits next to Kitty and Cassie.

  • Kitty: There you are, girl. What happened?
  • MJ: Almost missed the bus. This whole week was a disaster! A huge one! And it ain't Friday yet.

Flashback starts with both Sinthea and Felicia bullying her.

  • Felicia: Little Brain Watson, catch!

She throws a football at her as it hits her.

  • MJ: Ow!

It then cuts to her locker as Sinthea places a rat on it. She leaves laughing as MJ then comes and opens it. She ends up screaming.

  • MJ: (panicked) A rat came into my locker!

Sinthea then sneaks behind her and throws her into the locker and closes it as flashback ends.

  • Cassie: Dang...
  • Kitty: Geez, why always you?
  • Cassie: Ain't that obvious? Even if she's pretty, she's also a bookworm, also known as a nerd. And nerds are hated.
  • MJ: I qualify myself more as a cross between a nerd and a geek. But that explains why I am usually bullied.
  • Kitty: Can't argue with that. So, what do we have today?
  • Cassie: For lunch?
  • Kitty: Yeah.
  • Cassie: I think it was spaghetti and meatballs.
  • Kitty: Oh, yummy! I love spaghetti and meatballs.
  • MJ: So do I.
  • Cassie: I guess.

Suddenly, a trapdoor comes out of the bus and the three girls fall on it.

  • MJ: (scared) What the heck is going on?
  • Kitty: No clue!
  • Cassie: I wonder where this is going to stop...

They land at a rather strange room.

  • MJ: What is this place?
  • Wade: (VO) The Afterlife.
  • Kitty: Wait, are we dead? That means you're God?
  • Wade: (VO) Kidding!

He turns the chair to them while petting a cat.

  • MJ: That mask of yours... are you Spider-Man?
  • Wade: (laughs) I wish... but it's just me, Deadpool.
  • Kitty: Hey, I know you! Wolverine told me you were a lousy Canadian!
  • Wade: Wolverine, eh? Look who's talking! He's Canadian as well! Pretty lousy too. The only thing he likes more than fighting is a can of beer, some Canadian bacon and hockey on TV. Does that sound like a good mentor?
  • Cassie: (laughs) Burnt! Oooh!
  • Kitty: Aw crud!
  • MJ: Hold on, let me see if i got it. You're a vigilante, right?
  • Wade: Technically. Like how Nickelback is technically a band.
  • Cassie: Or like how Seth Rogen is technically an actor?
  • Wade: I guess. But anyway, let me explain the reason you're here.
  • Kitty: Finally. Is this a timeshare presentation?
  • Wade: No... Lemme explain. You guys know spies?

They nod.

  • MJ: So? Is there any reason to ask about it?
  • Wade: I run a spy group. And you girls fit all of the criteria...
  • Cassie: How so?

She reveals archive footing of them over the screen.

  • MJ: I honestly forgot that I was on the cheerleading team.
  • Wade: And you still make a fuss over your nerd status? Look at you, you're cute, nice and kind and kinda athletic too. Also...

He shows Mary Jane next to Peter as Spider-Man upside down.

  • MJ: True.

The other two look at it.

  • Peter: (archive footage) Wow, I can't believe this. You sure you want to go on with this?
  • MJ: (archive footage, giggles) Face it, tiger, you've just hit the jackpot.
  • Peter: (archive footage) Wait, you know my true identity?

She takes his mask off.

  • MJ: (archive footage) That voice and physique of yours don't fool me, Peter.

She kisses him as the other two are shocked.

  • Kitty: Lucky.
  • Cassie: Yeah!
  • Wade: Ahem! Focus?!

They do so.

  • Wade: Good. We have a major problem going on. Heard of Hydra?
  • Kitty: A bit of.
  • Cassie: (jokingly) Hail Hydra.

They glare at her.

  • Cassie: Kidding!
  • Wade: Better be. Speaking of it, my girlfriend Vanessa got some shocking information about it.
  • Kitty: Wait, you went back to her? I thought you were happy being with Death.
  • Wade: I'm not immortal, you dingus. And I would rather love someone who could die around the same time as I do.
  • MJ: Aww, that's so heartwarming...
  • Cassie: Agreed.
  • Wade: Focus, please?
  • MJ: Fine.

He shows a photo of Crossbones in the screen.

  • Wade: This is Brock Rumlow aka Crossbones, one of Hydra's most formidable henchmen. He is a skilled assassin who can easily take down any kind of menace he finds out. Are you up for this challenge?
  • Kitty: How dangerous is this?
  • Wade: Kinda dangerous.

Cassie almost freaks out. MJ hugs her.

  • MJ: Easy there, Cassie... It's all good now. Trust me.

She stops worrying about it.

  • Cassie: I'm good now. Luckily.
  • Wade: But no worries, two of you got powers and I will supply gadgets too.

Kitty and Cassie cheer as MJ crosses her arms.

  • MJ: (grumbles) It sucks being me.
  • Wade: That's why I'm supplying gadgets.

He presses a button on his desk as a bunch of gadgets appear.

  • Wade: From all of you, Ms. Watson will need a larger arsenal, given the fact she has no powers.

She sticks her tongue out to Kitty and Cassie.

  • Kitty: Not cool!
  • Cassie: Yeah!
  • MJ: Shut up! I deserve some spotlight as well! Get it?
  • Kitty and Cassie: ...
  • Wade: Girls, calm down and focus. There's plenty for all of you. Take a look.

They do as they are surprised.

  • Kitty: Wow... So... we get stuff too?
  • Vanessa: (coming) Well, duh! Want to see?

She presses another button as weapons come out from the walls.

  • Cassie: Double wow!

They choose their weapons and smile.

  • MJ, Kitty and Cassie: We're ready!
  • Wade: Good!

She presses a button as they enter a tube and then are sent into a jet as they're now wearing catsuits.

  • Kitty: Cool! Look at us! We look sexy!
  • MJ: I agree!
  • Cassie: Let's drive this baby!

They do. At the Hydra HQ, Crossbones is preparing to get ready for a massacre. He gets a message from Sinthea and reads it.

  • Crossbones: (reading) Crossbones, you know what to do, right? (not reading) Definitely.

He grabs a gun and leaves. At Manhattan, the Spies stopped for a quick snack at a steakhouse.

  • Cassie: Mmm, (drooling) this is amazing!
  • MJ: Indeed.

They continue eating until they finish as they hear chatter outside.

  • Kitty: Something's happening outside.

They look and see Crossbones holding a bunch of bombs.

  • Cassie: Look out!

They hide and then change outfits.

  • MJ: Ready?

The others nod as they run into him, but Kitty is then distracted by a random male.

  • Kitty: Ooh!

She runs into him, but MJ stops her.

  • MJ: Don't!
  • Kitty: Fine!

She focuses on Crossbones as she prepares to attack.

  • Crossbones: Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of some fools.
  • Cassie: Dodge!

They do as Crossbones approaches them.

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