Strange World (My Version)/Transcript

[The film opens with logos before the scene cuts to a map of Avalonia where the credits come up: "Disney presents", "in association with Spyglass Media Group", and "an 87North/Atlas Entertainment/1492 Pictures production" and then the title comes up: "Strange World". The scene opens to the city of Avalonia while text comes up: "Avalonia, 1996".]

Narrator: Ah, yes. Avalonia, a perfect metropolitan city ruled by the great and powerful Queen Marsha. The colossal turtle island stands to six countries: the United States, the United Kingdom, Japan, China, Australia, and New Zealand.

Lord Valkyrie: Beautiful, isn't it?

Jaeger: Oh. Lord Valkyrie. This is an unexpected pleasure.

Lord Valkyrie: Oh, it sure seems so. You can hold it.

Jaeger: (picks up a snack bag) It's really nice. What's that supposed to be?

Lord Valkyrie: It's a snack bag. It's either chips, cheese curl or tortilla chips inside. And it's ready to open. Go ahead.

Jaeger: So, if I open it, do I get a prize?

Lord Valkyrie: I do.

Lord Valkyrie: I am the penitent of the great Avalonia. Grant me this audience. Grant me this boon.

[The scene fades to black as text comes up: "Present Day". The scene fades up to the Clade Family Ranch and the text comes up: "The Clade Family Ranch" as Ethan reaches for the watermelon.]

Ethan: Nearly there, Legend. Nearly there, just a bit farther. Try a little bit harder. Oh, we can do it. Just a little bit more, Legend.

[Legend has a rope in his mouth as he makes the watermelon tree lower and he smells the mushroom.]

Ethan: I can reach it. (catches the watermelon; grunts) Got it!

[Legend lets the rope go as he tries to eat the mushroom and sees Ethan flying with a watermelon in his hands.]

Ethan: (screaming) Still got it!

[Legend yelps and runs as Ethan bounces on the crops and lands on it. Three watermelons fly as the two miss between him while Ethan yelps twice and the third one splats Ethan's face.]

Ethan: (exclaims)

[Legend licks the watermelon off Ethan's face.]

Ethan: (laughing) Legend, enough! Hey, enough now! (laughs)

Legend: (woofs)

[Suddenly, a rooster crows.]

Ethan: Hey, the sun's up! Let's go wake my parents and my sister! Hey, Mom! Dad! Miranda!

[Ethan runs to the front door and opens and closes it as Legend follows him and he goes through the dog door. Ethan grabs Searcher's underwear with colored polka dots and Meridian's bra and underwear and he opens his parents' bedroom door.]

Ethan: Mom! Dad! It's morning!

[Searcher and Meridian wake up with a start as he falls off the bed and then Legend pounces on him.]

Searcher: (groans)

Ethan: Hey, Dad, are you awake?

Legend: (woofs)

Searcher: (screams)

Ethan: Dad? It's time to go farming.

Searcher: Bit early, isn't it, Ethan?

Meridian: Yeah, you almost gave us a heart attack.

Ethan: Sorry, but we're both farmers and blacksmiths.

Meridian: (yawns) All right, honey. If that's what you wish for.

Searcher: We'll take a shower very quickly.

Ethan: Thanks. Come on, Miranda. Time to wake up. (places Searcher's underwear and Meridian's bra and underwear on his parents' bed) Good morning, Miranda.

Miranda: Good morning, Ethan.

Searcher and Meridian: Good morning, sweetie.

Miranda: Good morning.

Searcher: Bit nippy this morning?

Miranda: Yeah.

[A mouse trap snaps on Searcher's groin.]

Searcher: Oh! Ow! (takes a mouse trap out of his underwear) Ow!

Ethan: Oops. Sorry, dad. (chuckles)

Searcher: (scoffs and throws a mouse trap at Ethan's chest)

Ethan: Ooh! Hmm.

[The scene goes to the Clade family who eats breakfast as Searcher and Meridian share a kiss with each other.]

Ethan: Dad. So I've been thinking. You know we always harvest the vegetables, right?

Searcher: Oh, yeah. Very perfect for dinner, too.

Ethan: Yeah, but couldn't we at least try harvesting something? Well, you know, healthier?

Searcher: What, like a carrot?

Ethan: No, like a watermelon or a banana.

Legend: Hmm?

Searcher: (chuckles) You want us to harvest fruits so we can have fruit pizza for lunch?

Ethan: Yeah. Why not?

Legend: (grunts)

Ethan: I really believe we could do it, Dad.

Meridian: Ethan, look at the pictures. You don't see us having nutritious foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner, do you? We always have all kinds of good things to eat for our lives.

Ethan: Yeah. What'll we have for lunch anyway?

Searcher: Don't know. I suppose we could've had something good to eat for lunch, anyway. (finishes his breakfast)

Ethan: Wait. Sorry, no, Dad. Dad, about the pizza thing...

Searcher: Look, I'll tell you what, I'll definitely bear it in mind. All right? (clicks tongue) Come on, Ethan. Right, gather round. Grab a farm tool.

Mr. Jerry: (grabs a sickle) Oh! It's pointy!

Valerie: Oh, Jerry. Just get over there.

Mr. Jerry: Aw, Valerie!

Ethan: Come on, Jerry. Where's your sense of farming?

Mr. Jerry: Sorry, Ethan. I was just overacted, that's all.

[The Chevrolet Silverado approaches as Ethan sees Diazo, Diana, Jonah, Alisha, Christian and Chrissie.]

Ethan: Good morning, everyone.

All: Good morning, Ethan.

Miranda: Diazo brought us some gifts today?

Christian: Oh, yeah, wouldn't miss it for the world.

Ethan: Good morning, Diazo. Change your underwear today?

Diazo: Yeah, changed it with my sister, Ethan.

Diana: Mm-hmm.

Ethan: Really? That's... That's really adorable.

Diana: And it's good to see you once again, Ethan, my love.

[Ethan and Diana share a kiss with each other. Diazo and Miranda chuckle softly as they do the same thing.]

Searcher: Good morning, Christian.

Christian: Good morning, Searcher. Beautiful day in Avalonia, ain't it?

Searcher: Yeah, it is.

Christian: In fact, I guess your farm foods are such a big, huge success.

Searcher: Yeah, they are successful. You ever tried our famous veggie flatbread pizza or fruit New York style pizza?

Christian: Yes, we have. In fact, they taste fruity and healthy.

Searcher: I'm glad you love it.

Christian: Thanks. So, are there any style pizza crusts?

Searcher: Actually, yes. It's got New York, Chicago, Detroit, Neapolitan, and Pala Romana.

Christian: Fantastic. So, what's on the fruit pizza New York style?

Searcher: Actually, it's got apple butter sauce, parmesan cheese, sliced bananas, sliced apples, kiwi, and seedless watermelon.

Christian: Wow, that's the best thing since, well, ever.

Chrissie: You can say that, dear. So, what do you say? Would you like to invite us for dinner?

Searcher: Sure. If you'd love to.

Chrissie: Thanks, Searcher. You're the smartest neighbor a neighbor could ever know.

Searcher: Aw, shucks, I really appreciate that.

[The scene goes to the Clade family dancing to the song "Butter" by BTS on radio while they cook Margherita flatbread pizza and fried carrot sticks.]

Searcher: See, Ethan? We make good food, everyone's happy.

Ethan: Although the thing about Margherita pizzas, Dad, well, they're all really tangy with a kick.

Searcher: (chuckles) Ethan, look at us. You seriously think we could make a fruit pizza New York style?

Miranda: (laughs) Nice moves, Diazo.

Searcher: Us lot?

Miranda: You've been practicing.

Callisto: Listen, I think we both know that no child should go on journeys like this. So anyway, the answer's no.

[Suddenly, Miranda starts to cry.]

Searcher: Oh, no. Don't-Don't do that. You're fine.

Miranda: You're gonna leave us alone?

Searcher: Look, you're-you're fine.

Miranda: In the house while Avalonia is dying?

Searcher: All you have to do is stay at home with your brother and your mother, you'll be fine.

Miranda: (breaks into tears)

Searcher: She's really crying. What do I do?

Callisto: (shrugs)

Miranda: (crying hysterically and running to Callisto, holding her)

Callisto: Oh, no. Off. Come on, off. Get off of me.

Miranda: Please let us come with you.

Callisto: No. Just stay home. Go on, you'll be fine.

Miranda: We promise we'll behave ourselves!

Callisto: No kids on the mission!

Miranda: (continues crying) Please let us come!

Callisto: (groans and gives in) Fine. Fine! If you wanna come, come. We'll all go, it'll be one big journey.

Miranda: (exhales sharply) Great! Let's go find our grandfather! And first, let me bring Diazo and his friends, sister and parents.

[Miranda skips to take Diazo while humming.]

Searcher: (to Ethan) Definitely worth a try, though.

Ethan: Yep.

[The scene cuts to Callisto who gives instructions to Searcher, Meridian, Ethan, Miranda, Diazo, Diana, Jonah, Alisha, Christian and Chrissie.]

Callisto: Well, welcome to the ship, everybody. Now I'm pretty sure you all know how the ship works, so I'll go assign you to any places you'd like. Miranda, you and Diana will take charge of the controls. Jonah, I trust you and Alisha to serve food with the chef. Christian and Chrissie, you'll take charge of the bathroom. Ethan and Diazo will be my co-pilots while Searcher and Meridian take charge of the weapons.

Searcher: Yes!

Christian: How come my wife and I get to clean the bathroom?

Callisto: Um, I'm actually surprised if that's literally one of our duties on the ship.

Christian: Oh. All right, I couldn't agree more.

[The scene goes to the bathroom as Ethan washes his hands and Callisto knocks on the door.]

Ethan: It's open.

Lord Valkyrie: Isn't it obvious, everybody? I claimed my reward. I had experienced everything afforded to man, and still, I wanted more. I chose retaliation. I chose sensation. But the creatures of Avalonia... their tastes were not what I imagined. They preyed on my nerves, pulling them in random cycles, stopping just enough... so I could never grow numb. I don't know what they promised you. Knowledge? Love? I sought pleasure. But all they have to give is pain. It's just a trick. All of it.

Diazo: Oh, brother. It's like we've headed straight into H-E-double hockey sticks.

[A soccer ball lands on Jaeger as he bumps into the green infection with his back.]

Jaeger: (screams) Argh!

Searcher: Dad!

Jaeger: (weakly) Searcher...

Searcher: Dad?

Jaeger: I spent my whole life having adventures and fighting off creatures. (gasps) I held you back. (whispers) I'm sorry, Searcher. I'm so... (gurgles, groans, coughs and falls unconscious)

Searcher: Dad? (sniffles) Dad! (sobs)

Miranda: (cries softly into Ethan's shoulder)

[After a couple of seconds, Jaeger suddenly farts.]

Searcher: Huh?

Jaeger: (snores as he mumbles and smacks lips)

Searcher: (exhales in relief)

Meridian: Searcher, I don't mean to worry you, but what are we gonna do to restore Avalonia?

Lord Valkyrie: No. Your weapons can't destroy the green infection. Tell your queen I've got its infection. Its insides. What did you think? God created this world? I've created the green infection! And I'm not letting any of you destroy it until it makes me right again.

Callisto: You would reject our deal?

Lord Valkyrie: Forget your deal, Callisto Mal! (shouts) Burn in hell! Jaeger's gonna pay for what he did to me!

Callisto: Remarkable. All this. All for us.

Lord Valkyrie: No. Not for you. For me. I get what I want, President Callisto.

Callisto: Then so be it. It shall be your crime and your punishment.

Lord Valkyrie: (to Searcher) What are you doing?

Searcher: Isn't it obvious? (hits the green infection with a shovel)

Lord Valkyrie: Wait! (groans)

Jaeger: (in Searcher's mind) Searcher. Searcher! You've always been the best adventurer there ever was.

Searcher: (chuckles softly)

Jaeger: (over megaphone) Searcher, over here! Destroy the infection! (echoing)

Searcher: Everyone, let's destroy the green infection!

[The group destroys the green infection and Lord Valkyrie has been freed as he groans in agony while it crumbles to bits and he breathes heavily while his body regenerates very quickly.]

Callisto: Our power lies in dominance in the sovereignty of anguish. (Lord Valkyrie laughs hysterically and gets punched by her as he groans in pain) And now, it will be yours to wield.

Ethan: Is this good as you imagined?

Callisto: No. It's better!

[Ethan shares a kiss with Callisto.]

Callisto: Mmm.

Ethan: I love you, Callisto.

Callisto: I love you too, Ethan.

[Ethan and Callisto hug each other.]

Sergeant Andy: You cheat! You're such a disgrace to Avalonia! (rips Lord Valkyrie's clothes off)

Lord Valkyrie: Oh!

Searcher: Good journey.

Caspian: Ja. (earns a handshake from Searcher) Well played, Searcher.

Queen Marsha: So...

Searcher: (turns around) Huh?

Queen Marsha: You've saved the heart of Avalonia by destroying the green infection. As for Lord Valkyrie... Valkyrie? Valkyrie! Where is that...

Searcher: (points his finger at nowhere) Rat!

Queen Marsha: Yes, that's... (gasps as she notices Lord Valkyrie in a rat costume taking all the money) Guards! Apprehend that rodent!

Lord Valkyrie: So long, suckers! (laughing evilly)

Trevor: My word, Skippy. That money-thieving scoundrel is making off with the money.

Ethan: After you.

Skippy: Aye, but will he get away?

Diazo: Mm-hmm. (kicks a soccer ball at Lord Valkyrie's head)

Lord Valkyrie: (groans)

Trevor: Oh, a superb shot!

Skippy: And a rebound!

Trevor: Oh, that got him!

Skippy: Aye, Valkyrie is on the back foot now, Trevor. Quite literally.

[Lord Valkyrie screams and falls off as Jaeger whistles and a creature catches Lord Valkyrie by the leg as it makes the money rain.]

Skippy: Look at that. Caught by the giant tentacle.

Trevor: Oh, Skippy, that's comedy seafood. Well done, my friend.

Lord Valkyrie: No! My lovely money!

[Lord Valkyrie falls off to the ground screaming as he lands on it and he shakes his head off. A dinner plate falls on Lord Valkyrie's head as he groans and faints.]

Chrissie: Yay!

Christian: Oh, refund.

Queen Marsha: That should remind him of the sushi order, eh, Searcher?

Searcher: (chuckles) Yeah.

Queen Marsha: (to Ethan) Oh, and Ethan Clade. I think Splat is your new pet. (gives Splat to Ethan) He'll be taken good care of when the time comes.

Ethan: Thank you very much, Your Majesty.

Queen Marsha: And now, I believe it's time you went home. To your village.

[Ethan chuckles softly as he turns around to his family.]

Ethan: We're going home.

[The Clades and the team cheer as Ethan shares a kiss with Callisto and Diana.]