Pilot (SPPLL)

"Pilot" is the first episode of the TV series Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life.

Synopsis
In Toronto, Canada, Scott Pilgrim, the bass player in the band Sex Bob-Omb, is dating a High Schooler. This seems to be going pretty well until Scott dreams of a strange girl

Cast
TBA

Transcript
[Ramona Flowers is seen walking away from a house in the snow. She turns to face it for a few seconds before leaving. It shows her walking off as it pans to the moon before the intro plays. Once it finishes, it is suddenly light out and it pans down, revealing a completely different house.]

Kim: Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?

[The camera pans down to a window to the kitchen, where everyone is sitting, zooming in on the window until the scene completely changes to inside the kitchen]

Stephen: Is she hot?

Kim: How old are you, Scott? 30? 40?

Scott: I'm not playing your games, Kim.

Kim: 45?

Scott: twenty-one! okay? I'm twenty-one.

Stephen: And you're dating a high schooler. Not bad.

[Scott pours a cup of coffee before sitting down at the table]

Neil: Hey, have you guys... like... done it?

Scott: No, but she rides the bus with me. She talks about her book club, her friends and, uh... you know... drama.

Stephen: Have you ever kissed her?

Scott: We almost held hands once but then she got embarrassed.

Stephen: Dude, do you even know her name yet?

Scott: Knives Chau. She's Chinese.

Neil: Nice.

Stephen: Wait, her name is literally knives?

Scott: Uh, yeah. Why?

Stephen: You don't see any problem with that?

Scott: Books and covers and... well, there isn't a third one I guess.

Stephen: What if she is a serial killer?

Scott: I don't have any evidence that she is or isn't, but she's a high schooler, I think I can handle myself.

Neil: So, uh... how'd you guys meet?

Scott: I believe I mentioned the bus?

Kim: Yes.

[It flashes back to the day the two first met. A bus shows up with Knives and her mother stepping out of it]

Mrs. Chau: Sherman is nice man. You like him.

Knives: Mom, I'm seriously not interested in him.

Mrs. Chau: You are seventeen year old. Time to get interested in boy!

Knives: Oh sweet Jesus...

[She trips over something and her books fall on the floor]

Knives: Crap!

[She attempts to pick them all up, with Scott picking one up for her]

Scott: Hey, don't worry about it! I'm Scott by the way. Scott Pilgrim.

Knives: Knives Chau.

Scott: Very nice to- wait, your name is knives?

[It suddenly cuts to modern day]

Scott: And that's how it happened!

Stephen: ...You met her at a bus stop with her mom and picked up one of her books...

Scott: Yes.

Kim: Is that seriously the end of that story?

Scott: Yes.

Neil: So it was love at first sight?

Scott: Yes.

Kim: Did you suddenly forget how to say anything else other than "yes"?

Scott: No.

Kim: Can you speak actual words that aren’t yes or no?

Scott: Yes.

Stephen: So when are we meeting her?

Scott: You want to meet her?

Stephen: Yeah, why not?

Scott: Well, you see, I, um...

Kim: Wow, you're already embarrassed by her...

Scott: I'm never embarrassed! I'll bring her over tonight if you all wanna meet her that badly!

Stephen: Sounds good.

Scott: ...Crap...

Neil: Let me guess, you were kidding.

Scott: I'm a man! I don't back down from things! like... like women!

Neil: ...What the hell are you talking about?

Scott: I don't know anymore...

[Later, Scott is seen entering his apartment, throwing his coat on to the floor. Wallace Wells is seen reading a newspaper on a couch]

Scott: Before you hear any dirty lies, Wallace, yes I am indeed dating a seventeen-year-old and it's going great.

Wallace: Is he cute?

Scott: Ha ha ha...

Wallace: Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?

Scott: Do you see another bed here?

[He looks around. 8-bit text boxes appear by the items in the apartment showing which belong to Wallace and which belong to Scott, revealing 90% of the apartment more or less belongs to Wallace]

Wallace: You're totally my bitch forever, you know that right Scott?

Scott: Okay...

[Scott opens the door to the kitchen and another man walks out of it]

Other Scott: Hey Scott.

Scott: Hey Other Scott.

[Other Scott walks outside]

Scott: You know, I still don't get why we needed a third roommate.

Wallace: Drama.

Scott: Wait do you think I love you?

Wallace: Everyone loves me, Scott. You may say you don't but you're wrong.

Scott: ...So I just, like... don't even get to say that-

Wallace: Nope. You're just wrong.

Scott: Oh... okay...

[It suddenly cuts to a car during the day before fading to night time, the shot holding on the same car. Scott exits the car with Knives Chau and begins walking towards his building.]

Scott: Okay, so good first impressions are the key to any friendship. So, you know... be good.

Knives: Okay.

Scott: No, seriously, be good.

Knives: I am good!

Scott: Just be good.

Knives: I will!

Scott: Promise.

Knives: I promise I'll be good!

[Stephen opens the door, interrupting their conversation]

Stephen: Scott, what in the seven layers of hell are you making this poor girl say?

Scott: Oh hey! Stephen this is Knives Chau, the girl I'm dating. Knives this is Stephen Stills. He's the head of our band. Mind if we come in?

Stephen: Sure. Nice to meet you Knives.

[They both enter the house]

Knives: He made me promise to be good.

Stephen: Might've been a joke. Are you usually bad?

Knives: I think that I'm okay.

Trivia
TBA