YTP: Superdooperasdfcompmovie

Transcript
(Intro Skit)

Citizen 1: (spots a flying saucer) Alien attack!

Rebel: Throw the CHEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!! (throws cheese at flying saucer)

(everyone stares)

Alien: (Baby's deep voice) You Fool.

(The Title theme plays)

(static)

Man on Left: Hey guy, smell my flower.

Man on Right: (guy sniffs flower) Mmmmmmm

(A monster comes out of the man on the Left's Flower)

Man on Right: LOL!

Announcer: LEVEL UP!!

(static)

Man: Steven, I got to ask! How the devil do you keep your house so clean?

Steven: Well that's easy man! I'm half cow!

Man: Holy marry mother of...

(static)

Narrator: And now... PINEAPPLES.

Man: This does not help.

(static)

Woman 1: My boyfriend said I'm the most beautiful girl in the world!

Woman 2: (holding a knife) Hey, you wanna play catch the knife? (gets stabbed to the ground)

Woman 1: *demonic voice* THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

(static)

Guy 1: Hey. it says 'Gullible' on the ceiling. (AVGN's voice) Again!

(guy 2 looks up, the ceiling says 'Gullible')

Guy 2: Oh...

(The guy on the left grabs the guy on the right's lungs)

Guy 2: Aw, come on!!!

Guy 1: Gullible.

(static)

Mother 1: Hey kids! I brought you some cookies!

Kids: [cheer]

Mother 2: JIMMY!

(The woman and the kids give poker faces.)

Mother 2: CLEAN YOUR ROOM!

(static)

Voiceover: Coming This Summer.

President: Dammit Jenkins, a giraffe will never be president.

Jenkins: Yeah, you're probably right!

Cow: Yeah, me neither!

Voiceover: The Giraffe that wasn't Preseident... Rated R!

(static)

Little girl: Marmite, have you seen my pony?

Marmite: Yes.

(The little girl smiles.)

Horse: *Runs over to Marmite and tramples him* WHERE?!?!

(static)

Man: Marmite, why does no one like you?

(man bursts into flames)

Man: Oh yeah...

Marmite: (Tie's voice) (Sinister laugh)

(static)

Man on phone: Hey, uh, how do I get to your place again?

(slight mumbling from phone)

Man on phone: Ok, thanks.

(The man hangs up the phone and his car crashes into a wall.)

Dude: Classic.

(static)

Boss: Steve, I'm giving you a promotion.

(Steve smiles.)

("Nostalgia Critic" in black, bold letters briefly appears across screen)

Voiceover: (AVGN's voice) Nostalgia Critic.

Boss: Yep, now you're fired.

(Steve frowns.)

(static)

(John opens a door.)

John: Honey, I'm home-- MARMITE! What are you DOING?!

(Marmite appears in bed with John's wife.)

Marmite: I'm sleeping with your wife, John.

John: Uh, yeah...you are.

Cow: Yeah, me neither!

(static)

Customer : I'smory, what is that for a restaurant i mean this thing is still alive.

Lobster: He's on to us, commence the pitching!

Customer: No, no! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Man: I'll save you! Tree powers, Activate!

(The man turns into a tree.)

Man: (Tom's voice) This isn't working!

(static)

Man: You gotta help me man! My tie is evil and it's gonna kill meeee...

(The other man backs away)

Man: Please don't hurt me...

Tie: (Joker's voice) *Sinister laugh*

(static)

Man: Hello, parking meter!

Meter: (AVGN's voice) I'm the fucking nerd!

(The man becomes surprised.)

(static)

Man: I baked you a pie!

Kid: Oh, boy! What flavor?

Man: Pie flavor.

Pie: But it's opposite day.

(Both men and the kids turn into pies)

Man: (Man on right's voice) OWW!! What the hell is wrong with you!?!?

(static)

(A song plays in the background.)

Girl: I like singing!

Boy: I like dancing!

I Like Trains Kid: I like trains.

Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

(Pineapples appeared but I Like Train Kid got confused)

I Like Trains Kid: (Man's voice) Hmm.

(static)

(A son is holding a bowl with salad when The Salad Punching Dad hits him knocking the salad out of his hand. He starts punching it)

Son: Aw, what is wrong with you?! Stop it, Cut it out, Dad! I don't want thi--

Salad Punching Dad: I AM PUNCHING YOUR SALAD!!!

Son: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

(static)

Guy 1: Oh, no, I spilled my milk!

Guy 2: You've killed us all!

Guy 1: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(House floods with milk and drowns both mens then gargle)

(Guys grave is shown title Death by "Milk drown")

Man: Doctor, I think I might be a homosexual!

Doctor: How can you tell?

(Man vomits Rainbow)

RAAAAAAIINNBOOWWWSS

Doctor: (Tomska's voice) Oh that was really on call for!

(static)

Man: Ha Ha Ha Ha! I can't read! (AVGN's voice) Again!

(static)

Clown: Haha! They said I could never teach llama to drive!

Llama: BAAAAAAAAA--

Clown: No, Llama, Nooo!

(The Llama drives clown off a cliff.)

Narrator: SUDDENLY...

(Car crashes and llama runs around screen)

Mine Turtle: Hello!

(static)

Man 1: Hey man! Look at my new dog!

(looks down, dog panting)

Man 2: Oh yeah? That's pretty cool...

(static)

Harold: What are you up to, son?

I Like Trains Kid: I like trains. (AVGN's voice) Again.

Harold: Haha! Yes, you do.

(long pause)

(static)

Teacher: Hello, and welcome to Standing Up School.

Do the Flop Guy: (slides into students and the teacher) Everybody do the flop!!!

(everybody flops face first on the ground, except the teacher)

Teacher: Aaand you failed. (points stick at all the students who fell)

(static)

(Ranger plays trumpet)

Policeman: Hey, you got a license for that?

Ranger: What are you - A man? Or a mouse?

(blows trumpet into his ear, like shooting himself with a gun, killing the Ranger himself)

(static)

Singers: ''♪ Desmond The Moon Bear! ♪''

Desmond: How did I get here?

Cow: Yeah, me neither!

(static)

Waffle: Did somebody say "Waffles?"

Guy: No.

Waffle: I have brain damage!

Muffin: But I wanna die!

(static)

Guy: Joey, did you eat my sandwich?

Joey: I am your sandwich.

(Guy swallows Joey)

(Joey's grave is shown in words 'Swallowed to death')

(static)

Potato Killer: (from asdfmovie2) Die potato!

Potato: Noooooooo!!

I Like Trains Kid: I like trains.

Potato Killer: Oh no no no wait-

(potato killer and potato get hit by train)

(I Like Trains Kid smiles)

(static)

Guy 1: Here, hold this.

(Sticks sword into Guy 2's stomach and walks away)

Guy 2: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

(static)

Father: Hey, son! Catch! (throws ball)

Billy: Ok, dad! I'm going to catch it! I'm going to ca- (gets squashed by ball which never changed size to match perspective)

(Billy's grave was shown)

Mother: Billy, Noo!

(static)

Snarky Man: Nice hat.

Magician Guy: Thanks!

Snarky Man: I was being sarcastic.

Magician Guy: Well, I stole your face!

(snarky guy slaps on his blank area where his face was and he collapsed to the grounded)

Magician Guy: (Guy 2's voice) Hehe (zooms in), comedy.

(static)

Johnny: Hey, Bobby! Play that one about falling down the stairs!

Bobby: Sure thing Johnny!

(Bobby falls downstairs and hits the piano, and plays a sour note. But Bobby's grave was showed)

(static)

Doctor: Sir, you appear to have a very severe case of... baby voice.

Sir: But mother, I love him!

(static)

(Guy is being hit by muffins)

Guy: Aw, man, you ever going to run out of muffins?!

Muffin Man: (Deep accent) No. Because I work at ze muffin factory!

Guy: Oh!

(static)

Little Girl: Mommy, mommy! Look, a turtle!

Mine Turtle: Hello!

Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

Little Girl: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Holding the pineapple)

(static)

Dad: What are you drawing, honey?

Daughter: I'm drawing a bear! (Is revealed to be drawing the bear on a bear)

Bear: Nom.

Dude: Classic

(static)

Guy: Hey, what'd you get for your birthday?

Birthday Guy: But... BUT.... BUT... *holds up a book called 'Stabby Princess III'* This isn't what I wanted!

(Awkward silence)

Guy: That is weird!

(static)

Guy: (from asdfmovie7: deleted scenes) Hello, Mine Turtle.

Mine Turtle: (from asdfmovie7: deleted scenes) Hello!

Man: Oh no, I am NOT stepping on you.

(3 second pause)

Guy: (TomSka's voice) Wanna practice kissing?

Man: What!

(static)

(worker presses a button on the elevator, then leaves just before it opens up)

Dude: Classic

(static)

Waffle: *smack smack smack*

Waffle: My mouth tastes like teeth!

Muffin: WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIIEE?!?!?!?

(static)

Brian: Hey, Stacy! You wanna go do the prom with me?

Stacy: Uh, I'm sorry, but I'm a ghost.

Brian: But you're not dead.

(Stacy shoots herself in the head with a gun)

(Stacy's spirit floats upwards)

Stacy: Bye, Briaaaaaan.

Narrator: SUDDENLY...

Girl: So beautiful out here.

Boy: Yeah, it's just me, you and the moon.

Stacy: Bye, Briaaaaaan. (Going up to heaven)

(long pause)

Boy: (Alan's voice) What?

(static)

Eddie: You're leavin' me?

Zelda: Sorry Eddie, I've met a REAL man.

Dude: Classic.

(static)

Larry: What's going on, guys?

Man: Larry, this is an invention. You need to stop breaking people's necks.

(Neck Cracks)

Larry: What are you taking about?

Man: Larry!

Larry: What?

Man: This Intervention.

(Larry got confused)

Larry: Oh!

(static)

Father: Happy BIRTHD- (pause)

Wife: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

(pop)

Doctor: It's a boy!

(Long pause)

Father: Oh!

(static)

Stupid Guy 1: Hey, buddy! Turn that frown upside down!

Stupid Guy 2: Okay! (breaks his neck and faceplants on the ground)

Dude: Classic!

(static)

Guy 1: Hey, did you know that carrots are good in your eyesight?

(Guy 2 sticks carrots in his eyes)

Guy 2: (Alan's voice) What? No!

(static)

Mom: Jimmy. Take out the dog.

Woman: Aw, what's his name?

Dog: His name is David.

Jimmy: (David's voice) Hello! I am David.

Mother: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH-

(static)

Near Boy: (points away) Is this you?

(Pregnant Woman explodes)

Newborn: Hello, I have been Born!

Near Boy: (wave to the newborn) Hello!

(static)

Man 1: You want a piece of me?!

Baby: Beh.

Woman: No...

Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

Woman: You can have it!

Man: Guy: Thank you! (takes the pineapple and leaves)

(static)

(A guy is standing with his phone buzzing and ringing. He answers it)

Guy on phone 1: (off-screen) Hey, uh, can people fly?

Guy on Phone 2: (Alan's voice) What? No!

Guy on Phone 1: (off-screen) That's a shame.

(The Phone hang up)

(static)

Magician: Hey, what's that behind your ear, (reaches behind the girl's ear and gasps) It's a hearing aid!

Girl: I want an Ice Cream?

(static)

Guy 1: *Rubbing his chin* Hmm... this is not my arm.

(Camera zooms out)

Guy 2: Hey, your chin feels nice.

Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

(Guy 2 got confused, but)

Guy: Your chin feels nice.

(static)

Singer: Patrick has a hole in is head!

Patrick: I don't even know why I have this?!

(static)

Orphanage Master: The orphans... They're all dead! What kind of man would do this!?

(Mr. Muffin is standing in confusion and disbelif, but he says)

Mr. Muffin: ...Somebody kill me!

(static)

(Close up of a Mime Turtle)

(sound of footfalls)

(Zooms out as the banana enters the screen, and looks at him to gasp in horror)

Mime Turtle: Hello!

(static)

Guy on Right: Whoa, is that killer whale!

Guy on Left: Where?

(Bonk)

Guy on Right: Oh my god. I don't see any killer whales anywhere!

Man: Yes you can!

(Whale sounds)

(static)

Girl: Mom. watch me do this cart wheel.

Dad: I sure did, Honey!

Dude: Classic.

(static)

Guy: Are you wizards?

Wizard: Yes, yes I Am?

Guy: My favorite!

(static)

(The sun is looks bored)

Saturn: (orbiting round sun) You're fat!

The Sun: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(static)

(Two people standing)

Guy 2: I am a very tall midget.

Guy 1: (Alan's voice) What? No!

(static)

Man: Hey! You know who's gay? Yo--

(he and other guy get hit by train as I Like Trains Kid smiles)

(static)

Guy 1: Here hold this.

(gives bomb to Guy 2)

Guy 2: (Alan's voice) What? No!

(static)

Police Cop: Hey, kid, you can't skate here!

Skater: You can't tell me what to do!

Narrator: SUDDENLY....

Police Cop: Ma'am, I'm afraid I caught your son doing...

(zoom to the big screen for a whoosh)

Police Cop: (Cow's whispers' voice) Skateboards!

Ma'am: AAAAAAUUUUHUUUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

(static)

Muffin: Hey, Joey! You wanna eat me?

Joey: (Nerd's voice) But it's opposite day.

Muffin: *crying*

(static)

Man 1: Kitten Fight!

Man 2: No, wait! I'm allergic to adorableness!

(gets hit in the face by a kitten)

(picks up kitten, which gives him a really cute face)

Man 2: Aww...

Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

(gets hit by a pineapple)

Man 2: (Tourettes Guy's voice) OW!

(static)

Father: Now son, don't touch that cactus.

(son is magnetized to cactus)

Father: (Ade Edmondson's voice) I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD!

(static)

Harold: Honey, why is the baby on fire?

(Baby giggles)

Wife: But where did I go wrong?

(static)

Man 1: (Looks angry) Hey, buddy! You wanna take this outside?

Man 2: (Also looks angry) Sure!

(They go outside)

Man 1: (Still looks angry) Wow! What a lovely evening!

Man 2: (Also still looks angry) This is a really good-!

Moon: Hey! You two should kiss!!

(static)

Girl: I... I love you, but...

(awkward silence, again)

Man: (deep voice) she single?

(static)

Police Cop: Sir, is this your car?

Driver: Nope, It's yours!

Police Cop: But it's opposite day.

Driver: Aw...

(static)

All Singers, All Melodies and All Symphonies: (sings) The Science Show!

Guy: Pianos!

(A piano crashes on him and does a low note)

Guy: (muffled) Ahhh!! Who's idea was this?!

Dude: Classic!

(Men 1 and 2 are shown)

Man 3: Hey guys check out my new camera!

(fires gun at Man 1)

Man 3: Oh, wait! This isn't the camera.

Man 2: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

(static)

Doctor: I'm afraid you have one year to live.

Patient: Well- *zooming on his face* AAAAAAAH!!!

(static)

Breadman: You're insane professor doctor, if you think I'll ever tell you where I hit a girl, then you'll have to kill me first. What the

(Professor Doctor pushes the toaster as Breadman screaming)

(Breadman's grave was showed)

(Script in progress)

Mother: Oh, Timmy, don't cry!

Timmy: (Cries)

Mother: Seriously, Timmy, cut it out!

(Timmy continues to cry)

Mother: TIMMY!!! This is the worst date EVER!

Dude: Classic!

(static)

(there are two guys, 2nd has a urinal on him. Guy 1 starts to unzips his pants)

Urinal Guy: Don't even think about it.

Guy 1: Aw...

(static)

(Salad Punching Dad and son's constant punches)

Narrator: SUDDENLY!

Salad Punching Dad: Oh, I'm so full.

(static)

Guy 1: Wow, this game is so realistic!

Guy 2: That's not a game!

Guy 1: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

(static)

Guy: Why won’t this damn fax machine work?!

(fax machine rumbles and turns into a giant robot)

Machine: (David's robotic voice) Hello, I'm David!

(static)

Guy 1: Pffft. Screw gravity!

(floats away, guy 2 in shock)

Guy 1: (Chris Bingham's voice) Help! I'm...stuck on the ceiling...

(static)

Sheep #1: ♪ Beep beep, I'm a sheep! I said beep beep, I'm a sheep! ♪

Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

(Crickets chirping)

Dude: Classic.

(static)

Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid you had, brain cancer!

Guy: But it's opposite day.

(The Doctor collapsed)

(static)

Jerry: Hey Baby you lookin' fine.

Little Baby: (Cooing)

(static)

Man on Right: Hey, cool that?

(squish)

Man on Left: Well I stole your face!

(static)

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

(Camera zooms right)

Hungry: Why did you name me this way?

(static)

Mother: I think we should just be friends. (leaves him)

Guy: (Mr. Suicide's voice) We're all gonna die.

(static)

(Script in progress)

All Singers: Invisible Billy Adventures.

Guy: Hey Billy! Catch the frisbee!

Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES.

Billy: (as the pineapple) This does NOT help!

(Slice and Thud)

Guy: B...Billy?

(static)

Girl: I'm leaving you, Jerry. You and your inappropriate reactions.

Jerry: (Patient's voice) OH YEAH? *shoots himself*

Girl: I'm leaving you...

(static)

Guy 1: Watch out for that kitten!

Guy 2: Oh, that doesn't sound so bad.

(Jerry's car bumps into a guy, and it's not a kitten)

Jerry: Hey baby!

(static)

Man: Bobby Seaborn, you're dead, I'm gonna whale on your face.

Mother: Bobby, what is that on your face.

Bobby Seaborn: (Alan's voice) What?

(static)

Teen: Man that party was nuts last night!

Narrator: SUDDENLY...

Child: (giggling) (chasing guy 1 and guy 2 with a blood-stained knife) I'm gonna getcha!

(static)

Cow: Hi, babe, yes, I am real man. You want to go skateboards?

Little Baby: (Cooing)

(static)

Trivia

 * AVGN spoken word "Again" was reference to Superman 64 in the AVGN episode.
 * "asdfcomp - killer whales" was uploaded by MoonmenUnit42 on YouTube.