Jay and Silent Bob Into the Crossverse

Jay and Silent Bob Into the Crossverse is a live-action/animated comedy crossover film.

Cast

 * Jay and Silent Bob
 * Vanessa
 * Dudley Duncan/Dr. Ditto
 * Jawsaw
 * Punch
 * Tarantula
 * Mirena

Transcript
View Askewniverse

9:00 PM

A toon rabbit is watching TV and drinking a beer. There's a shadow lurking around the house, and then the toon rabbit thinks he hears someone and turns around to look out the window. He doesn't see anything so shrugs his shoulders and goes back to watching his show. Then, a hooded figure breaks in and attacks the toon rabbit.

Six weeks later

A bird is flying peacefully through the sky and hits on the sign saying "Welcome to Ficville". It fades to Jay and Silent Bob selling weed at the Kwik-E-Mart.

Jay: You wanna get hiiigh? Come see your pals Jay and Silent Bob! Only $20 to party. *to Silent Bob* I gotta feeling this would be a good place, Silent Bob. We'll be raking in the dough.

Silent Bob: *nods*

Otto: *walks up* Hey, Otto needs to get blotto.

Jay: You've come to the right place. $20.

Otto: Sweet! *hands him $20*

Jay: *hands him a bag of weed*

Otto: Pleasure doing business, man.

Jay: See ya next time.

Otto: *leaves*

Stewie and Brian: *goes into the Kwik-E-Mart to get a Squishee*

Apu: Welcome to the Kwik-E-Mart.

Stewie: Uh, welcome to America?

Apu: Thank you! I like America!

Brian: Why you gotta do that?

Stewie: Do what?

Brian: You know what I'm talking about. You see someone from a foreign country and treat them like they are fresh-off-the-boat.

Stewie: Why do you have to be sensitive, man? I was just welcoming him to our country.

Brian: You're being a jerk and you know it.

Stewie: Whatever, man. Let's just get our Squishees. *to Apu* Two Squishees please.

Apu: *makes the Squishees*

Stewie: *pays*

Apu: Thank you! Come again.

Stewie and Brian: *leaves the store*

Jay: We're gonna get rich!

Silent Bob: *nods*

Jay: We're gonna sell so much weed here, make so much money, before you know it, we'll be livin' a life always dream of, Silent Bob. I'm getting hungry, and I know you wanna eat, tubby bitch.

Silent Bob: *gives Jay a look*

Bob's Burgers

Jay and Silent Bob walk into Bob's Burgers and sit down at the counter.

Linda: Hi there, welcome to Bob's Burgers!

Jay: My large friend's name is Bob. Did we get a discount?

Linda: Oh, a fellow Bob! How nice. Sorry, we don't offer a Bob discount, but maybe I sneak a extra fries on your plate. What can I get for the two of you?

Jay: *looks at Silent Bob*

Silent Bob: *nods*

Jay: Two burgers of the day and two sodas.

The duo sit and wait for their food.

Linda: Are you new in town? I don't think I've seen you before.

Jay: Yeah, me and Silent Bob here traveling for our business.

Linda: What business is that?

Jay: Pharmaceutical sales.

Linda: Oh, that sounds exciting!

The News turned on.

Tom Tucker: Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. Authorities are still investigating the murder of Bert Bunny. If anyone has any information about this crime please call the tip hotline.

Bert Bunny's residence

It has crime scene tip across the door, and reporters waiting outside. Inside, the police are inspecting Bert Bunny's body.

Chief Wiggum: A sick individual did this.

Joe: Strangling a rabbit with his own ears. I've never seen anything like it.

Dudley: How did we know he didn't kill himself?

Carter: 'Cause he strangled him with his own ears, you moron!

Dudley: You don't have be so mean about it.

Carter: You know you have to be so stupid.

Joe: That's enough of that. We're here to solve a crime.