The Sonic the Hedgehog Movie/Transcript

Full transcript of the 2008 film, Sonic the Hedgehog the Movie.

Opening
The film opens up with an introduction to the Pacific Ocean. Sonic then narrates.

Sonic: Long ago, there was an island we lived in. Peaceful and playful. No harm, no hurt. It was West Side Island. An island no one ever knew existed.

It shows West Side Island in its early days, as an peaceful island. It then involves into a barren dump island.

Sonic: And then, our world turned into a barren wasteland. No longer habitable, smoke, radiation, and terrible smells. REALLY terrible smells. Me and my friends had to evacuate this island to go to another land. The human land. But then, we found a boy that helped us, and we owed our life to.  SONIC THE HEDGEHOG   THE MOVIE 

Part 1: Meet Jeff
An alarm clock goes off. An boy punches it, and quickly gets up.

Mom: Jeff! Hurry up, you're gonna be late for school!

Jeff: Mom, I'm hurrying up, alright.

Jeff's Dad: Doesn't seem to me that you are hurrying up. It's 7:33 for crying out loud.

Jeff comes downstairs almost fully dressed.

Jeff: Also, Mom, Dad! Grandpa told me to come to his hou-

Jeff's Dad: GRANDPA?! Are you serious now, Jeff?

Jeff: What? What's wrong?

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, your grandpa is a bad influence on you.

Jeff's Dad: Last time we talked to him was at your fifth grade graduation.

Jeff: He's not a bad influence, he just likes science-y stuff.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, just..please. Don't talk to him. He smokes a lot, plus, doesn't care about anybody's safety.

Jeff: Yeah, Mom, whatever. See ya guys later

Jeff's Dad: Bye Jeff.

Jeff walks to school, while listening to music. At school, he bumps into his bully, Devin.

Devin: Yo! What's your problem, Jeff?

Jeff: Oh uh, sorry Devin.

Devin: "Sowwy Devin, Sowwy!" That's all you ever say. Sorry, sorry sorry. You're such a wimp, you know that Balkiry.

Devin sees Jeff looking at his girlfriend, Stacy, talking to her friends.

Devin: You looking at Stacy?

Jeff: Uh, no. I was looking at, the wall, over there.

Devin: Listen Balkiry. You ever make eye contact with my girl, your dead.

Stacy walks up to Devin.

Stacy: Babe, let's go! Class is starting soon! Who you talking to?

Devin: No one. Just some wimp.

The school bell rings and Devin pushes Jeff. Jeff has had enough, so he slaps Devin.

Devin: What the hell?

Mr Richards: Balkiry! My office. NOW.

Stacy: Damn.

Devin: That's what you get, loser.

Area 51 Badnik Raid
In the Nevada desert, the camera zooms into Area 51, an US government secret facility. Chloe Sanchez: Mr. Mackerel.

Thomas Mackerel: What is it Chloe?

Chloe Sanchez: Our communication units have received an ship flying over the Nevada desert.

Thomas Mackerel: What flying ship?

Chloe Sanchez: A UFO type flying ship. You need to see it.

Sanchez brings Mackerel to the communications room, where they find very strong readings.

Soldier: Sir, now its flying over our facility.

The ship is shown crashing outside of the facility, nearly crushing some people.

The soldiers investigate the crashed ship and they open the door, holding their guns at it. An unknown mechanical robot attacks one of the soldiers and more come out of the ship, getting bigger and bigger. Thomas and Sanchez run.

Thomas Mackerel: This is Sargeant Thomas Mackerel! Get me military jet bombs! ' NOW! '

Chloe Sanchez: Aah! Thomas!

Soldier #1: Someone get me a reading on jet bombs!

The military jets are shown flying over Area 51, and drops bombs.

Soldier #2: Everybody GET OUT!

The soldiers evacute before the bombs drop on the badniks, destroying them. Everyone is relived.

Soldier #3: What the fuck happened?

Thomas Mackerel: I have no idea.

Chloe investigates the ship and finds something cold.

Soldier #3: Sanchez! Stay back!

Chloe Sanchez: I found something cold in here!

Five soldiers investigate the ship and pull out the cold thing. It is revealed to be Metal Sonic.

Soldier #2: What is this thing?

Soldier #4: I do not know.

Thomas Mackerel: Soldiers! Take the robot and put in a chamber, just in case if it is alive.

Chloe Sanchez: I found something else.

Thomas Mackerel: What is it?

Chloe Sanchez: This thing says, "Property of Dr. Robotnik"

Thomas Mackerel: Robotnik, huh?

Inside a meeting room, Mackerel makes a statement.

Mackerel: Everyone!

Mackerel: These robots were made by someone named "Dr. Robotnik." I don't care who this Robotnik guy is, but I want a full search party out for him. Two people killed, five badly injured. Wherever you are Robotnik, we are coming for you. So watch out.

Through a static camera, Dr. Robotnik is shown sitting on a chair.

Robotnik: Damn it! My robots got destroyed in three minutes! And god knows where Metal Sonic is.

He looks at the static again.

Robotnik: Heh. It doesn't matter, soon I will be ruling the world and nobody, I mean NOBODY will stop me. Not even Sonic the Hedgehog. Never in a million years.

Robotnik: I just need to send more badniks, and I'll be good.

Robotnik starts laughing as the screen zooms out from him. It cuts to a doorbell ringing.

Grandpa's Lab
Edward Balkiry: Coming!

The doorbell keeps ringing.

Edward: I SAID, I'M COMING! Damn.

Edward opens the door to find Jeff standing outside.

Jeff: Hi grandpa.

Edward: Jeff! Long time no see! Hey, come into my lab, I need to show you something!

Edward walks Jeff down into his basement, latering revealing his lab.

Jeff: Your lab has improved a lot.

Edward: Yep! Imagine the electricity bills! It's torture…

Jeff: So what do you wanna show me?

Edward: Okay, so. I was using a metal detector while walking through the beach. And I found not one, not two. But THREE gem rocks!

Jeff: You mean emeralds?

Edward: Yes, emeralds, exactly what I said! They come in different colors. Pink, red, and green.

Jeff: What's so important about them?

Edward: Do you not get what I'm saying?!

Jeff: No, really, no.

Edward: If I sell these emeralds for a million dollars, I'll be rich. Wait, no. Sell all three of them for three million dollars, I'll be a millionaire, I can buy my own lamborghini, pay the rent, and even buy you a car, just like you always wanted!

Jeff: Grandpa, this is a bad idea.

Edward: What, why?!

Jeff: BECAUSE, you don't know where the gems, emeralds, rocks, whatever they are came from.

Edward: They came from the beach.

Jeff: Grandpa, grandpa. You may have found them on the beach, but you don't were they came from. They could be poisonous, they could be radioactive or something. they can be dangerous!

Edward: Jeff, I've examined these for the past five hours, I can 100% guarantee you they are NOT poisonous.

Jeff: I can 98% guarantee you. I'm leaving, see you in a like a million years.

Edward: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Wait. One last thing.

Jeff: (sighs) What is it grandpa?

Edward: I may have found aliens.

Jeff: Oh no.

Jeff storms off.

Edward: Jeff, wait, wait!

Jeff: I am not putting up with your crazy nonsense, grandpa. Dad was right. You do smoke a whole lot.

Edward: Your dad? Fuck that bastard. I don't even smoke that much anymore.

Jeff: But you still smoke.

Edward: Okay, yeah but still come come!

Edward shows Jeff some readings on his computer screen.

Edward: Also, recently, I was searching the Pacific Ocean and may or may not found a kraken. But that's not important.

Jeff: Continue.

Edward: And, I found aliens.

Jeff: Show me.

Edward shows Jeff an reading from the Pacific Ocean.

Edward: Okay, so you see this alien guys' feet? This is not an normal human nor animal feet.

Jeff: Neanderthals. maybe?

Edward: Not Neanderthals! Those things are long gone. This is a new species. I've decided to name them Mobians.

Jeff: Mobians?

Edward: Yes, Mobians!

Jeff: Cya never Grandpa.

Edward: Jeff, wait!

Jeff walks out of Edward's basement and leaves his house, not believing anything he says anymore.

Ship Attack
The scene cuts to a ship in the middle of the ocean, sailing along the waves. Tails: Sonic, I’ve received readings of robots made by Robotnik. Knuckles: He'll never stop will he.

Shadow: If I ever see Robotnik again, he'd gonna become a large bloody stain on the ground.

Camera zooms into Sonic.

Sonic: Guys, guys. Calm down. We'll get to land down in maybe about five minutes.

Knuckles: You've said that the previous two times, I'm starting to doubt you Sonic.

Tails: Amy, how long do you think we'll get there?

Amy: I don’t think we’re getting there.

Sonic: Guys! Remember what we came for. We came here for the Chaos Emeralds. We couldn't live on West Side Island anymore. It's a wasteland.

Knuckles: Which is WHY we need to use them to restore peace to the island!

Shadow: Yep.

Sonic: That is what I am talking about, right now.

Amy looks up into the sky and hears a wooshing sound.

Amy: We may have a tiny problem.

Several drones swarm down into the ship, trying to attack it.

Tails: AMY! GET US OUT OF HERE!

Amy steers the ship away while the drones continue to chase it.

Amy: What are those things?!

Sonic: Amy, keep driving. Knuckles, Shadow, help me destroy these drones! Tails, I don't know, but try to help us!

Tails and Amy: Got it!

Knuckles and Shadow: Got it!

Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow jump out of the ship, and land on the drones, destroying them in a 40 second montage. Suddenly, more drones appear, and they are blasted back onto the ship, weakened by the power and strength of the drones.

Shadow: These drones are too strong!

Amy: Gaaaahh!

The gang become cornered by all of the drones. One of the drones comes up to them and opens up an red screen. Robotnik appears on it.

Robotnik: Hohoho! If it isn't Sonic and his wittle friends!

Knuckles: Robotnik…

Robotnik: As you all know, I am also looking for the six Chaos Emeralds. Instead, I am using them to dominate the world.

Tails: You monster!

Robotnik: Say hello to my badnik's little friends called missles. Hahahahahaha!

Amy: Let's get out of here!

Amy drives the gang out of there, managing to get them far enough.

Robotnik: Get them my badniks!

Shadow: Amy, go faster!

Amy: I'm trying!

Knuckles: GUYS! I see land!

The camera cuts to a little far land, but the drones come in front of them once again.

Robotnik: Goodbye, Sonic.

The screen closes and all of the missles come out of the drones.

Sonic: Well, fu-

The ship blows up, sending, all the characters, except Sonic into the water. Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow manage to get back up and hold onto large pieces of wood from their ship.

Amy: Is everyone okay?!

Knuckles: Yeah, I'm good.

Shadow: Same here.

Tails: Where's Sonic? SONNNNIICCCC!

Amy: SONIC, WHERE ARE YOU?!

Shadow: SONIC!

Knuckles: SONIIIIICCCC!!

The characters continue calling Sonic's name until the screen fades to black.

Getting Ready for a Date
Jeff is shown in a one minute twenty second montage, getting ready to ask Stacy out, spraying perfume on himself, everywhere, even that place.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, honey. Why are you spraying my perfume on your weenie.

Jeff: Mom, it's not what it looks like.

Jeff's Dad: Jeff, didn't we already have a talk about puberty?

Jeff: Dad, not that.

Jeff's Dad: Then what is it? Why are you going with your backpack?

Jeff: I'M GONNA GO OUT WITH A GIRL I LIKE, OKAY?!

Jeff's Dad: This is up to you two, I'm gonna go, read my magazine. On the toilet…

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, lemme talk to you.

Jeff: I know Mom, I know. I have to have a big-

Jeff's Mom: No, Jeff, no. Not that, you talked with your father about that. Sit down, let me have a talk with you.

Jeff and his mom sit down on the couch.

Jeff's Mom: You know Jeff, when I was in high school, there was this really handsome buff ass dude, who was like, "Hey baby, wanna go out to the prom with me?" and I said no, you know why?

Jeff: Why?

Jeff's Mom: Because, he wasn't my type. I preferred people who were more themselves, who acted like themselves, who had their own personality. Who weren't afraid to express their feelings.

Jeff: And?

Jeff's Mom: And, what I'm saying is that, you dont have to look, sound, or be fancy just to impress someone you like. Just be yourself, Jeff. No matter how much people tease you for it, be yourself.

Jeff: Thanks, Mom.

Jeff's Mom: Anytime, Jeff.

Jeff and his mom hug each other. Jeff's dad comes downstairs.

Jeff's Dad: Hey Jeff, I just received a email from your teacher, saying that you got in trouble for-

Jeff: Welp, gotta go dad.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, wait!

Before she could finish the sentence, Jeff leaves and closes the door.

Jeff's Dad: What are we going to DO with that boy?

Outside, Jeff is greeted by his neighbor, Timothy.

Timothy: Hi, Jeff!

Jeff: Timothy! What's up? You back from Florida already?

Timothy: Yeah, it was gonna be three weeks, but my baby brother got a fever, so it was shortened down to two.

Jeff: Oh, sorry to hear about that.

Timothy: It's okay. He's at a doctor appointment with my dad, and I'm staying here with my mom.

Timothy's Mom: Timothy! Time to come inside!

Timothy: Coming, mom!

Timothy comes inside of the house.

Timothy's Mom: Also, hi Jeff!

Jeff: Hi, Timothy's mom!

Timothy's mom goes inside of the house.

Timothy's Mom: Such a nice boy.

Jeff: About the girl.

Robotnik Hacks Area 51
Chloe Sanchez: Mr. Mackerel, we got news on the metal thing.

Thomas Mackerel: Do you have a name for it?

Sanchez: No, the facility has now called it SCD1993.

Thomas Mackerel: Odd name. Is there any other information?

Sanchez: No, we have been holding it in captivity for the last six hours now. We still do not know any information, besides it is a property of Dr. Robotnik.

Mackerel: Speaking of robots and niks, Svenson! do we still have contact on Dr. Robotnik?

Grant Svenson: Actually, yes we do.

Mackerel: Who is he?

Svenson: Searching from files online, his real name is Ivo Robotnik born April 22, 1959, went to Harvard University and got a scholarship for science, became a scientist for over 15 years, and won a Noble Prize Award in 1999 for making seemingly impossible technological advances, and received a pardon from George W. Bush in 2002 and after that was never heard from again, until now of course.

Mackerel: Seems like a respected member of sociey, wonder why he'd do this.

Svenson: Oh I dunno. Maybe greed. Wealth. Domination. The usual stuff.

Svenson sips his coffee

Svenson: Damn, that's good.

All of the computer screens in the room turn static, with no one knowing what is going on.

Sanchez: What's happening?

Svenson: Someone's hacked into the computer!

Sanchez: Who?

Svenson: How the hell do you expect me to know?

The computer static turns off and Robotnik is shown on all the screens in the room.

Svenson: Oh shit.

Mackerel: Robotnik.

Robotnik: Well, well, well, well. If it isn't General Thomas Mackerel.

Mackerel: What do you want from us, Robotnik? Sending more robots to kill us.

Robotnik: No, no, no. I'm over that already. I'd like to tell you a little deal.

Svenson: Don't listen to what he says, general. It may be a scheme.

Robotnik: That robot you have in your facility is my robot. Property of Robotnik, me.

Mackerel: We're not giving it back to you.

Robotnik: If you don't give it back, I will attack Las Vegas, located a couple miles from your facility. I turned an island into a deserted wasteland, I can turn a city into the next Chernobyl.

Sanchez: He's a terrorist.

Mackerel: Listen, Mr. Robotnik. You can do whatever you want to ME. You can nuke my house, kidnap me, put me in the middle of an ocean, have me get eaten by a pool of sharks, I do not care. You can do all those to me. But, one thing I will not have you do is threaten the lives of innocent civilians.

Robotnik: Is that so.

Mackerel: Yes. Robotnik, we are coming for YOU. You are not safe. We will find you and lock you up into a maxium-sercurity prison, where you will spend the last of your years at.

Robotnik: Let's see, General Mackerel. See you later, alligator.

Robotnik's face disappears from the computers and they turn back to normal.

Svenson: What're we going to do now, general.

Mackerel: Call in the president of Las Vegas. Now.

Asking Out Gone Wrong
At the beach, several kids, teens, and adults are seen playing, while Jeff is walking alongside the coast, looking for Stacy, also trying to see if Devin isn't there.

Stacy: So Devin, you going to prom with me next week?

Devin: Oh come on baby. You know the answer to that.

Mean Girl #1: Awh! The perfect love couple!

Mean Girl #2: I know, right?

Devin: You two, shut the hell up.

Stacy: No Devin, it's true. We are a love couple.

Devin: Oh hoh, you said that correctly.

Devin and Stacy make out until Jeff comes. Jeff tries to leave, but one of the girls see him.

Mean Girl #2: What is that dork doing here?

Devin and Stacy look up to see Jeff walking away.

Devin: Yo Balkiry! What are you doing here, wimp?

Jeff: Uhm, nothing. I was just, going. Home.

Devin: Oh, I see what you are trying to do!

Stacy: What?

Devin: You like Stacy!

Jeff: No, I don-

Devin: Listen, dirtbag. This is my girlfriend and nobody, I mean nobody, is going to steal my girl from me, you got that, wimp?!

Jeff: I know, but I was just going home, like I said before.

Mean Girl #1: (whisper) Yeah, right.

Jeff: Shut up female dog.

Mean Girl #1: What the hell did you just call me?!

Stacy: Savage.

Devin: Ay, ay! Let's all calm down here for a sec. So, Balkiry. In response to you slapping me…

Devin slaps Jeff onto the sand. Everybody there laughs, even the people in the background.

Stacy: Yikes.

Mean Girl #1: Wooh, he ain't gonna recover from that!

Mean Girl #2: Seriously though.

Jeff gets up, turns around, and walks away.

Devin: Yeah, walk away from our life. Fucking loser!

Jeff turns around, runs back to Devin and punches him in the face.

Stacy: Oh, shit!

Devin falls down and looks back up at Jeff in fear. Jeff walks away from them while insulting them all.

Jeff: Freaking douchebag. Freaking female dog. Freaking monkey. Freaking goat.

Jeff feels something drop on his head. It's a raindrop. It starts to rain and everybody in the beach gets out.

Boy: Oh come on!

Woman: How is it raining?

Man: Damn, you mother nature.

Little Girl: Five more minutes, daddy!

Dad: No sweetie, we have to go.

Devin looks back at Jeff while walking away.

Devin: You may be a dork, but you got some combat skills, Balkiry.

Devin walks away with Stacy and the other girls.

Stacy: Nice, Jeff.

Jeff saves Sonic
Jeff walks in the beach, going home while it rains.

Jeff: Man, I hate this world. Nobody ever likes me. All i want is an ordinary life, to have friends, and have a girl, ya know. Is that at least too damn hard?!

While on the beach, Jeff sees a white glove sticking out from the water.

Jeff: Is that a…person?

Jeff sees the white gloves about to sink under and goes into the water to help it.

Jeff: Oh shoot!

Before the white glove, fully goes under, Jeff pulls it out of the water and brings it back to land. But upon touching its hair, he sees that it is not a human, but Sonic.

Jeff: AAAGGH! What the heck is that?

Sonic lays there, unconscious.

Jeff: Oh yeah, Heimlich menouver, right? No, it was, the chest thing!

Jeff performs first aid to Sonic ten times until he finally wakes up. Sonic wakes up coughing and vomits out a lot of water.

Jeff: Ew.

Sonic: W-where am I? Where's Tails? Amy? Shadow? Knuckles?!

Jeff: Hey, hey! Calm down! You almost drowned. I saved you. You're alive.

Sonic: Who are you? Do you work for Robotnik?

Jeff: No, I don't work for this Robotnik guy. But I'm Jeff. Jeff Balkiry. What's your name?

Sonic: Well. I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Jeff: Nice to meet you Sonic.

Sonic: But still, where are-

Sonic looks over in the water and sees Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow on several pieces of their ship. In the meanwhile, Tails looks over and sees Sonic.

Tails: Guys, I found Sonic!

Amy: Sonic, we're here!

Shadow: We were worried sick!

Knuckles: Who's that guy next to him.

Once Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow come on land, Sonic embraces them tightly.

Sonic: I missed you guys so much!

Shadow: Great to see ya, Sonic!

Knuckles: Don't ever do that to us again!

Tails: Thank goodness, your okay!

Amy: You're alive!

Knuckles: But who's that guy?

Knuckles points at Jeff.

Sonic: Guys, he is not a harm. His name is Jeff. He saved me.

Jeff: Hello.

All: Hey Jeff!

Knuckles: Thanks for saving Sonic.

Sonic: I owe my life and debt to you, Jeff.

Tails: Just a side question, have you ever heard of the chaos emeralds?

Amy: Tails, not now.

Jeff: Chaos Emeralds?

Tails: Yes!

Jeff has a flashback to when his grandpa said he found pink, red, and green emeralds.

Jeff: Are three of those emeralds, pink, red and green?

Sonic: Yeah.

Jeff: I think I might have them.

Amy: You do?

Jeff: Cmon, get in my backpack.

Jeff gets all of the characters in his backpack and starts moving quickly

Tails: This is tight!

Shadow: Where is he taking us?

Knuckles: What is that thing? (sprays perfume) AH OH GOD ITS IN MY EYEEEESSS!

Meeting with President Earle
Svenson: Mackerel.

Thomas Mackerel turns around as Svenson calls his name.

Svenson: The president wants to meet you.

At a conference room, Mackerel and Sanchez enter the room to be greeted by the president of Las Vegas, President Earle.

President Earle: Good afternoon Sanchez. Good afternoon, Mackerel.

Sanchez and Mackerel: Good afternoon, Mr. President.

President Earle: So sit down, we need to have a talk.

They all sit down around the table.

Mackerel: Sir, I need to tell you something clear and very clear. Robotnik is a threat to the world.

President Earle: How so?

Mackerel: He literally threatened the innocent lives of people and threaten to destroy Las Vegas. Don't you notice, if Robotnik actually does this, this will be worse then 9/11 or Chernobyl?

President Earle: Mackerel. Our military is super strong. We have 3,781 military personnel in this facility and that number is gonna expand bigger and bigger and bigger until we're stronger then America's military personnel.

Mackerel: But, sir. We HAVE to give Robotnik SCD1993 back. He says its his most important robot for world domination.

President Earle: Huh.

Mackerel: Mr. President, please. Give it back or go to war.

President Earle: This Robotnik guy is a nobody. Go to war with him, he wont do anything.

Mackerel: Are you kidding me?

Sanchez: Uhm.

President Earle: Yes.

Mackerel: MR PRESIDENT. Do you see how much of a threat Robotnik is? He is going to blow up Las Vegas! Please, listen to m-

President Earle: Talk back to me again, and you're fired.

Mackerel stays in silence.

President Earle: Yeah, that's what I thought.

Camera cuts to Svenson yelling.

Svenson: ' HE DID WHAT?! '

Sanchez: Yep.

Svenson: Oh come ON. This fucking dumbass thinks that this Robotnik guy ain't a threat. He literally just hacked our computers a few HOURS ago! Either this guy has the brain of chewing gum, or I'm a monkey's uncle. No offense, Mackerel, but still.

President Earle: You know I can still hear you guys right? I'm the president of this country. I can have you kicked out of this country and even get fired. So watch your mouth and your back. Hehe.

Earle walks away.

Svenson: Idiot.