Oh What A Night/Transcript

Oliver and Company: The Series

Oh What A Night

Act I

(Episode opens in Central Park. It is full of people, and the sun is shining. A young couple, presumably in their early 20s, are sitting on a bench, eating. The man stuffs his face, with a hamburger and French fries, slathered with sauce. His girlfriend, a pretty red-headed woman, who is eating a hot dog, gazes on in disgust at him. Unbeknownst to either of them, the gang are watching them.)

Young woman: Jason, your manners are appalling.

Young man: Come on, Lisa, what do you mean?

Young woman: I mean, I've seen pigs with better manners.

(Dodger and Rita, who are hiding in the bushes, turn to each other.)

Rita: Pigs have better manners? I'll have to see for myself.

(Dodger nods to Francis. He runs out of the bushes, pretending to be in pain. He collapses in front of the young couple.)

Young man: Oh my gosh! Are you alright, buddy?

(The man and his girlfriend jump off the bench to see to Francis, leaving their food unattended.)

Young man: Let's see what the problem is.

(While this is going on, Dodger sneaks up, and grabs the burger and fries, while Tito grabs the hot dog. Francis cocks one of his eyes open, and sees Dodger who motions for him to leave. He jumps up and takes off after them, leaving the young couple perplexed.)

Young woman: Want to explain that? (Her boyfriend shrugs)

(The gang take off, laughing.)

Dodger: You are good, Frankie!

Francis: Why, thank you. (grins proudly)

Rita: An Oscar-winning performance if ever I saw one.

Dodger: Come on. Let's eat.

(Later that day, the gang are at the houseboat. Dodger is sitting on his armchair with Oliver next to him. The two are watching a basketball match on TV.)

Dodger: Come on! Strike. No!

(He stalks off in anger. Oliver gazes his way. He turns to Rita.)

Oliver: What's up with him?

Rita: I don't know, but it probably isn't pretty.

(Dodger returns, having calmed down.)

Dodger: OK, I'm calm, I'm collected. I'm just...(breathes in)

Oliver: Well, I'm gonna go. Jenny's probably waiting for me.

(He exits.)

Rita: OK, Dodge. What's wrong? Tell me.

Dodger: It's just...I know we're responsible for looking after the gang and everything but, have you ever thought about having a break?

Rita: More specifically...?

Dodger: I'll cut to the chase. We need a break. A night out, if you will. Just us.

Rita: Well...

Dodger: Look, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I was just suggesting...

Rita: I'll sleep on it, OK? Deal?

Dodger: Deal.

(The next evening, sunset. Dodger is on the houseboat's deck, pacing back and forth. Tito and Francis watch on.)

Tito: Jeez, Dodger. Calm down. It's just a night out.

Dodger: I know, guys. It's just...

Francis: Ah, two lovers on a night out. I can't think of anything more romantic.

(Dodger glares at Francis.)

Dodger: Rita and I are friends. And just friends.

(Rita exits the houseboat, ready to go.)

Rita: Alright. I'm ready to go.

Dodger: Let the fun begin.

(They jump off the houseboat, onto the jetty, and head off into the city. Cut to commercial break.)

Act II

(The streets of New York. It is dark yet full of activity. Dodger and Rita weave their way through the mass of people.)

Dodger: You can see why they call it they "city that never sleeps", eh, Rit?

Rita: Definitely.

Dodger: Are you hungry? You didn't really eat much before we left.

Rita: Matter of fact, I am! Anything in particular?

Dodger: I was thinking...maybe...Mexican?

Rita: Good choice.

(Cut to the back of a Mexican restaurant. Dodger and Rita exit at breakneck speed, while the sounds of shouting can be heard.)

Dodger: Whoo! That was a close one.

Rita: But it was worth it.

(They start eating.)

Dodger: Remember the time we were kids and we raided that fast food joint?

Rita: I can remember it like it was yesterday.

(Flashback. The colors are washed out. Dodger, Rita and Francis, as puppies, are outside a fast food restaurant, watching a man eating.)

Young Dodger: I smell lunch. You know what to do, Frankie?

Young Francis: I was a born per...

Young Rita: (Cutting him off) Just do it.

(The man turns away from his meal to hear the sound of an animal crying out in pain. He sees Francis, slumped on the road in front of a car, and the man approaches him to see if he's alright. While this is going on, Dodger sneaks onto the table, snatching the man's hamburger. He gestures to Francis, and he gets up, in pursuit of Dodger and Rita.)

Young Rita: You're a real expert, Frankie.

Young Francis: Thank you.

(Flashback ends. Dodger and Rita have finished their meal, and are hanging around near an alley, outside a nightclub.)

Rita: Remind me, what are we doing here?

Dodger: This was my home.

Rita: (incredulously) You lived here?

Dodger: Well, before I met the gang, I was actually born here...

(His voice trails off.)

Rita: What's wrong?

Dodger: Nothing. It's just too...

(He is cut off again, this time by a patron being thrown out of the club.)

Dodger: You know what? Let's get out of here.

(Rita nods and the two make their leave.)

(The two have arrived at the Bronx Zoo. It is empty, and the two are wandering around staring at the animals resting in their exhibits.)

Dodger: Now this brings back memories!

Rita: I can remember the first time we came here.

(Another flashback. The zoo is mostly empty, with a few patrons milling about. Dodger, Rita and Francis lean over a wall at an enclosure containing tigers.)

Young Dodger: Gosh, I never knew animals like this even existed.

Young Rita: They're called lions. They're like cats but like fifty times the size.

Young Francis: (disgusted) Excuse me, but have you too never watched a documentary?

(Dodger and Rita turn to each other.)

Both: Ooh! Get you.

(Francis rolls his eyes, and saunters off. Dodger and Rita pursue him. End of flashback. Dodger and Rita, both adults, are nosing around the exhibits.)

Dodger: No way.

(He runs over to a pool. He leans over the side, and sees a pair of sea lions sleeping on a large rock.)

Rita: Oh no. Dodge, I wouldn't if I were you.

Dodger: Oh, you big chicken! (He imitates a chicken, before falling into the water)

(Rita sighs, and dives in, rescuing the struggling Dodger; the two climb out of the sea lion pool and shake themselves dry.)

Dodger: You know, I was doing pretty fine.

Rita: (in a patronizing voice) Aww, did I hurt baby's pride, then?

(Dodger rolls his eyes. The two laugh and exit the zoo.Cut to commercial break)

Act III