Friendship Games out of Water/Transcript

''[Yeah, I know this is basically Sponge out of Water & Friendship Games combined, but there is new dialogue wherein characters from both movies interact. Or, there will be new dialogue as this page is under construction.]''
 * Sunset Shimmer: I got your text, Rainbow Dash! Did something come through the portal? Is Equestrian magic on the loose? Did Twilight come back with a problem that only we can solve?!
 * Pinkie Pie: Has a giant cake monster covered all the cakes in the world in cake?!


 * Rainbow Dash: Um, not exactly.
 * Sunset Shimmer: Uh, I don't understand.
 * Applejack: Well, Sunset, I was just tellin' Rainbow Dash here that a broken guitar string doesn't really qualify as an emergency.
 * Rainbow Dash: It totally does!
 * Rarity: Really, Rainbow Dash! I was in the middle of sewing a very complex appliqué on my latest frock.
 * Fluttershy: And I was just about to tuck everyone in for the night at the shelter. Now we'll have to start stories all over again.
 * Sunset Shimmer: Why would you send all of us an emergency text for a guitar string?
 * Rainbow Dash: Well, I was going to pony up and show our fans some awesome guitar licks, but I kinda need all six strings to do it. Got any extra?
 * [Everyone except Rainbow Dash groans.]
 * Sunset Shimmer: Here. But everyone finished practicing for the day. I'm pretty sure all the music rooms are locked.
 * Rainbow Dash: No problem. The acoustics in the hallway are perfect for power chords. [plays chord] C'mon! Let's go!
 * Applejack: You comin', Sunset?
 * Sunset Shimmer: I'll catch up in a bit. [voiceover] Dear Princess Twilight, how's life treating you in Equestria? Any cool new magic spells? It's been pretty quiet here at CHS since the Battle of the Bands. We still pony up when we play music, which Rainbow Dash just loves to show off. But I still can't quite grasp what it's all about. I would love to hear what you think about it when you get a sec. Your friend, Sunset Shimmer.
 * [A bus pulls up & drives away as a figure steps out & scans the CHS statue.]
 * Sunset Shimmer: Hey! What are you doing?! Wait! Stop! [The figure successfully runs away & escapes in a bus.] Who was that?
 * [Inside, the stranger takes off her hoodie & sighs, revealing Twilight's human world counterpart. She enters a room & starts crafting an amulet as the opening credits play. Once done, the scene cuts to the CHS library.]
 * Sunset Shimmer: She was definitely doing something to the statue – or was going to.
 * Fluttershy: Do you think she came through the portal from Equestria?
 * Sunset Shimmer: No, I'm pretty sure I woulda noticed that. I think she was from over here.
 * Applejack: Well, that's a relief. The last thing we need is another magical so-and-so bent on world domination comin' over from Equestria.
 * Rarity: Agreed. I have no interest in another fight against the powers of evil magic. The wear and tear on my wardrobe is just too much to keep up with.
 * Sunset Shimmer: Still, a mysterious figure snooping around the portal? Don't you wanna know what she was up to?
 * Fluttershy: [shudders] I don't even wanna guess.
 * Rainbow Dash: Well, you don't have to. Because I've totally figured out who it was!
 * Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh! A nighttime statue cleaner? A magical portal maintenance maintainer? A gardener?!
 * Rainbow Dash: Seeing as how they got off a bus from the city and got back on a bus headed to the city, I'll bet they go to...
 * All but Sunset Shimmer: Crystal Prep.
 * Rainbow Dash: Yep. With the Friendship Games starting tomorrow, they'd totally try to prank us by defacing the Wondercolts statue.
 * Sunset Shimmer: Why would anyone take a bus all the way from the city for that?
 * Applejack: Because the Crystal Prep Shadowbolts are our biggest rivals?
 * Rarity: Because that's just what the students at Crystal Prep would do?
 * Rainbow Dash: Because even though they beat us in everything – soccer, tennis, golf – they still have to gloat!
 * Sunset Shimmer: Seems kinda silly to me.
 * All but Sunset Shimmer: Silly?!
 * Rainbow Dash: So I guess you think the Friendship Games are silly, too.
 * Sunset Shimmer: Well, it's not like we'll be fighting the powers of evil magic.
 * Fluttershy: No. We'll be fighting against a school full of meanies. Not everything has to be magical to be important.
 * Sunset Shimmer: You're right. I'm sorry. I know it's a big deal.
 * Rarity: [scoffs] That's putting it mildly, darling. They're still revamping the playing field in preparation.
 * Sunset Shimmer: I just don't understand why there's this big rivalry. Aren't the "Friendship Games" supposed to be about our two schools getting along?
 * Applejack: Well, it's kinda hard to get along with someone who beats you at everything.
 * Rainbow Dash: Not anymore! This time, things are gonna be different.
 * Sunset Shimmer: What do you mean?
 * Rainbow Dash: Oh, you'll find out.
 * [They leave as the camera pans to a book, which transitions into a similarly-colored one with a tied paper roll in a bottle with the opening covered in a cork imprinted. The book opens as a new voice narrates.]
 * Burger Beard: Once upon a time, under the sea, there was a little town called "Bikini Bottom". In this town, there was a place called, "The Krusty Krab," where folks would come to eat a thing called, "the Krabby Patty." Every greasy spoon has a fry cook, and the one  who worked here was named, "SpongeBob SquarePants".
 * [The scene cuts to Burger Beard as he is flocked by seagulls who sing a song about SpongeBob as he gets increasingly annoyed.]
 * Burger Beard: [as seagulls sing, "porous is he"] Hold it. Just hold it. [later, as the seagulls sing, "...Pants!"] Stop! [the seagulls stop singing & playing] There's only one thing worse than talking birds, and that would be... singing birds!
 * Seagull: Okay, I promise not to... ♪ sing! ♪
 * [Kyle clears his throat and points to three skeleton parrots with a bass, guitar, and trumpet, respectively.]
 * Skeleton Parrot #1: Take it from us.
 * Skeleton Parrot #2: He really does hate singing birds.
 * [The scene then returns to Skyle and the other Seagull. The other seagull poops.]
 * Kyle: Just keep weading. Pwease, Mr. Piwate, sir.
 * Burger Beard: Come closer. Let me tell you the tale.
 * David: Okay, start reading.
 * Burger Beard: Not that close! All right. Here we go. Now, SpongeBob loved his job as a fry cook more than anything. And that is saying a lot. Because he loved everything! He loved his pet snail, Gary. He loved his best friend, Patrick. He loved blowing bubbles......and jellyfishing.
 * SpongeBob: Whee! [scene cuts to SpongeBob happily making Krabby Patties]
 * Burger Beard: He loved making Krabby Patties for the folks in Bikini Bottom just as much as they loved eating them. "Why," you may ask, "do they love this greasy meal sandwich so much? Why did they eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner despite the doctor's warnings?"
 * Dr. Gill Gilliam: [to Shubie] He'll be gone in a week.
 * Shubie: Oh, Harold! [sobs as she sadly bites into a Krabby Patty as the doctor does the same too, happily]
 * Burger Beard: Ah, it was a secret. [scene cuts to a real-life Krabby Patty with many question marks in the background] No one was sure what was in those patties that made them so delicious. And frankly, no one cared, except for Plankton. [scene cuts to an embarrassed Plankton]
 * Plankton: Meh. [scene cuts to a crowded Krusty Krab before zooming to an empty Chum Bucket]
 * Burger Beard: Plankton owned a restaurant right across the street from the Krusty Krab, where no one ate because the food was really bad!
 * Plankton: Now, is that really necessary?! [the patty beside him deflates a little]
 * Burger Beard: [as the scene cuts to Plankton, wearing spy gear, tries to steal the formula] Plankton had made it his life's work to steal the recipe. [after Plankton chuckles evilly, SpongeBob vacuums him up]
 * Plankton: SpongeBob, please! Let's talk about this. [SpongeBob blows the vacuum thereafter]
 * Burger Beard: But SpongeBob was always there to protect it. But today, things would be different.
 * [Scene cuts to SpongeBob throwing out the trash when Patrick comes up to him.]
 * Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Morning, Patrick! Are you here for your pre-lunch Krabby Patty?
 * Patrick: I'm getting two today. One for me, and one for my friend.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, have I met this friend?
 * Patrick: [uses his belly as a talking friend and impersonates his voice] You know me, SpongeBob. [he and SpongeBob laugh, as well as his tummy]
 * SpongeBob: Enjoy, Patrick's tummy. [as he waves goodbye, he hears the engine from the airplane, which then drops a big jar of tartar sauce close to the Krusty Krab]
 * Mr. Krabs: [is seen counting his money outside of the entrance door] 13, 14, 15... [SpongeBob walks out of the Krusty Krab]
 * SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs, I thought we got our tartar sauce delivery on Thursday.
 * Mr. Krabs: Tartar... [the tartar sauce splashes everywhere on the Krusty Krab, including SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs] ...sauce?
 * Plankton: Bullseye! [laughs evilly]
 * SpongeBob: Plankton!
 * Mr. Krabs: [angry] So it's a food fight he wants, eh?
 * Plankton: [as he approaches the Krusty Krab] Welcome to Air Plankton! Please put your seat backs and tray tables up as we're now approaching our final destination.
 * [scene cuts to show SpongeBob and Patrick on the Krusty Krab roof wearing army clothes and having a fire weapon]
 * SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick. Load the potatoes!
 * Patrick: [gets plates of two different potatoes] Mashed or scalloped, sir?
 * SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Raw.
 * Patrick: Sir, yes, sir! [throws the plates away and dumps raw potatoes from a bag into the weapon] Locked and loading!
 * [scene cuts to show Mr. Krabs looking at the formula in the safe]
 * Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, little formula. You'll be safe in this...safe. [closes the safe door and yells through a microphone] Fire!
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob's weapon firing the potatoes towards Plankton's plane]
 * Plankton: Potatoes?! [dodges the potatoes side-to-side]
 * SpongeBob: He's closing in!
 * Patrick: [while looking at the binoculars upside down] I think we have a few minutes before he gets here. [SpongeBob turns the binoculars the other way] Huh? [screams] He's right on top of us!
 * [scene cuts to the potatoes getting chopped into fries before flying down towards Sandals]
 * Sandals: Hey, it's raining fries!
 * Plankton: It's gonna take a lot more than potatoes to bring this baby down! [more potatoes cover Plankton's plane before destroying it] Or maybe not.
 * [scene cuts to show customers inside the Krusty Krab looking at the explosion from the plane before cheering, then it changes to SpongeBob and Patrick cheering as well]
 * Patrick: Whoo!
 * SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick. Look! He's got a tank!
 * [as the tank lands from a parachute, Plankton puts a pickle inside a shooter before heading to the controls]
 * Plankton: Well, Krabs, you're certainly in a pickle now!
 * [the tank perfectly aims toward SpongeBob and Patrick before they gasp and, in slow-motion, jumping out of the way just in time]
 * Sandals: Hey, it's raining pickles! [chuckles] Now, it's raining... [the tank lands on Sandals; muffled] ...tanks.
 * Plankton: You're welcome. [the tank drives away]
 * Patrick: Finland.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick getting up and noticing pickles coming toward them before SpongeBob dials a telephone]
 * SpongeBob: Your order, sir.
 * [scene cuts to Sandy looking at a menu at the drive-thru]
 * Sandy: I'll have two Krabby Patties: extra ketchup, extra mustard, and hold the mayo.
 * SpongeBob: Wrong channel! [dials the telephone again] Your order, sir!
 * Mr. Krabs: Extra ketchup, extra mustard, hold the mayo!
 * SpongeBob: Yes, sir! [holds a big ketchup bottle followed by small ketchup and mustard bottles] Extra ketchup, extra mustard!
 * Patrick: [holds a giant mayonnaise jar while grunting] Hold the mayo!
 * Mr. Krabs: Unleash the condiments!
 * SpongeBob: With relish. [screams while squirting the condiments repeatedly toward the tank before they run out, making farting noises] Excuse me! [he and Patrick laugh before SpongeBob gets another set of condiments and does the same as before]
 * Sandy: [through a window] Hello? Hello?! [from Mr. Krabs' megaphone] Guess y'all don't want my money.
 * Mr. Krabs: Money?! [quickly snatches Sandy's money and gives her the food] Thank you. Come again. [quickly closes the window]
 * [scene cuts to show more destruction from SpongeBob and Plankton before Patrick starts getting tired]
 * Patrick: [gasps for breath] I can't hold the mayo any longer! [throws the jar right towards the tank]
 * Plankton: Mayo?! Well, it's gonna take a lot more than mayo to stop- [the tank crashes into the mayo before it explodes and splashes everything, including SpongeBob and Patrick, then it rumbles]
 * SpongeBob: Now what? [the tank reassembles itself into a giant robot before Plankton laughs evilly]
 * Patrick: Uhh... I just remembered! I don't work for Mr. Krabs. [gives his helmet to SpongeBob, then runs off, leaving SpongeBob alone, then SpongeBob drops Patrick's helmet and runs towards the Krusty Krab, as Mr. Krabs notices]
 * SpongeBob: Robot! Robot! Robot! Giant robot! Robot! Robot! [runs into Mr. Krabs' office] Mr. Krabs! Plankton's here, and he's got a giant robot!
 * Mr. Krabs: Quick, boy! Bar the door!
 * SpongeBob: [as he puts a chair, blocking the exit door] Got it! [suddenly, the robot crashes through stomping on SpongeBob before SpongeBob gasps and looks at Plankton laughing evilly]
 * Plankton: I'll take one secret formula... to go. [as the robot's hand comes directly toward the safe, Mr. Krabs screams before the robot stops and Plankton notices it out of fuel] Oh, barnacles! I'm out of gas?! [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs both laugh] Well, I'm not through yet. I've got something that will make you hand over that formula: something you can't resist. [takes out his wallet before Mr. Krabs gasps]
 * Mr. Krabs: Money?!
 * Plankton: Yes. [notices the wallet empty] That's...that's...that's impossible! [gets caught inside the wallet before coming out of it] Well, it was full of money just last week. Then I bought that airplane, and built that tank-
 * Mr. Krabs: Sounds to me like someone's just a wee bit...broke!
 * Plankton: [sighs] Well, Krabs, I guess you've won. I've spent every penny I've ever made trying to put you out of business... [takes out a penny from his pocket] ...except this one: my last penny. [starts to cry] Besides, what could I do with one measly cent, anyway?
 * Mr. Krabs: You could give it to me. [with his eyes closed] Just a suggestion.
 * Plankton: [closes his eyes and leans while holding the penny and talking] Here. [throws the last penny to Mr. Krabs] Take it! [Mr. Krabs happily catches the penny and puts it in his safe] You've taken everything else. Why not?! [cries]
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob walking towards the exit of wrecked Krusty Krab while Mr. Krabs is holding Plankton in his claws and talking]
 * Mr. Krabs: Well, Plankton, like a reheated Krabby Patty, you've been foiled again! [drops Plankton and he falls on the floor and sighs]
 * SpongeBob: I guess this means that the secret formula is safe forever. Right, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: [taps SpongeBob on his head] It sure does, boy. [Plankton stands up and Mr. Krabs pushs him toward the exit] Why don't you scurry along? [everyone in the Krusty Krab, expect SpongeBob laughs out loud as Plankton is leaving the Krusty Krab while crying] Thanks for coming! Have a nice day! [bubble transition to Mr. Krabs' telescope view of Plankton crying while having his head leans on the pole of The Krusty Krab sign on it] He's been out there crying for twenty minutes. [cuts to him looking through binoculars and SpongeBob standing next to him in a completely renewed Krusty Krab] Pathetic. [gives the telescope to SpongeBob and pulls up his pants] I'm just gonna go out there and gloat a little. [leaves Krusty Krab and scene then cuts to Mr. Krabs office being empty as the camera then starts zooming towards the safe until it cuts to inside of the safe where the real Plankton is exiting from the last penny with a headset on his head while laughing]
 * Plankton: [stops laughing as his back starts hurting and then adjusts them] Cyclops to Laptop. Come in, Laptop. [cuts to Karen with headsets playing solitaire]
 * Karen: [ironical voice] Laptop. [takes card] You do realize that nickname is demeaning. I have twice the processing power of [with an ironical voice] a laptop. [cuts back to real Plankton inside a Mr. Krabs safe, walking towards the bottle with the secret formula]
 * Plankton: [with a quiet voice] Never mind. Maintain radio silence. [throws his headset away as he arrives to the bottle with the secret formula] He-he, finally! [notices a light] A pressure plate, eh, Krabs? Amateur hour. [opens the safe] Hmm... [sees a bottle with a pirate ship in it] Perfect. [pushes the ship out of the bottle, then writes "Eugene, Eat My Subaquatic Air Bubbles! Love Plankton" on a piece of paper puts it in the bottle and puts in a cork] Not a bad likeness. [while replacing the bottles] Good enough to fool that idiot Krabs. Easy, easy. [light corrects the other bottle with the fake formula]
 * [scene cuts to show SpongeBob's telescope view of Mr. Krabs dancing outside happily next to fake Plankton, who is still crying]
 * Mr. Krabs: [mockingly] Plankton's broke! Ooh-ooh! Plankton's broke! Ha-ha!
 * SpongeBob: Look at Mr. Krabs go! I've never seen him gloat this hard before.
 * Mr. Krabs: [chuckles] Well, Plankton, me bunions are telling me it's time to stop gloatin'. [picks the fake Plankton up, which stops crying] Eh? Looks like you're falling apart at the seams. [chuckles, then pulls a string to reveal the inside of the fake Plankton] Huh?
 * Plankton Robot: Poor me. [sparkles a little] Sob, sob.
 * Mr. Krabs: A robot?!
 * SpongeBob: [walks inside, then gasps when he sees...] Plankton?!
 * Plankton: [when he gets caught] Uh-oh. [accidentally makes the fake bottle drop] That ain't good.
 * Computer Voice: [as a red light turns on and off] Initiating Lockdown Sequence.
 * Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Me formuler! [sees the Krusty Krab going on lockdown]
 * Squidward: Huh? [gets trapped in steel] Ow! [everything in the Krusty Krab gets trapped in steel]
 * Mr. Krabs: [heads toward The Krusty Krab that is locking down] No, no, no! No, no, no! [the doors shut] No! [starts to bang on the door] Squidward! Open up! Squidward!
 * Plankton Robot: [picks itself up] Ha, ha! Victory dance! Booya!
 * SpongeBob: Give me that! [grabs the formula and pulls it towards himself]
 * Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob! [pulls the formula away from SpongeBob] Join me, and we'll be rich and powerful! ... [the two start to tug for the formula] ...until I eventually betray you! [he realizes that he wasn't supposed to say it] Uuh... Join me!
 * SpongeBob: No! Never! I'm on team Krabs for life!
 * Mr. Krabs: [opens the doors and shouts in a deep voice] Plankton!
 * [the two continue to tug for the formula, but the formula then magically vanishes]
 * SpongeBob: What? Where'd it go?
 * Plankton: [thinking] Wait a minute... Molecular deconstruction? I proved that to be a scientific impossibility 7 times!
 * SpongeBob: [thinking] Wait a minute... I think I forgot to empty Gary's litter box today.
 * Mr. Krabs: [opens the door and lets out a big gasp as SpongeBob and Plankton stare a him for a couple of seconds] Where's me formuler, Plankton?!
 * Plankton: I-I don't know! It just disappeared!
 * Mr. Krabs: Why should I believe you, ya lyin' liar?!
 * SpongeBob: Normally, I'd agree with you, Mr. Krabs, but this time, he's telling the truth! It just vanished!
 * Plankton: It's true! [Mr. Krabs picks him up as the scene cuts to him taped to Mr. Krabs' table]
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I'm telling you! He's innocent!
 * Plankton: W-What are you gonna do, Krabs?! Pour hot oil on me?! Or put bamboo shoots under my nails?!
 * Mr. Krabs: No. Knock-Knock.
 * Plankton: Knock-Knock jokes? I can do this all day, Krabs.
 * Mr. Krabs: [in frustration] Knock-Knock.
 * Plankton: Oh, boy. Who's there?
 * Mr. Krabs: Jimmy.
 * Plankton: Jimmy who?
 * Mr. Krabs: Jimmy back me formuler, Plankton!
 * Plankton: Well, that's stupid, but how is it torture?
 * Mr. Krabs: [holding headphones] Hehehehe... You'll see. [puts headphones on]
 * SpongeBob: Jimmy... Back my formula? Hmm. Ohhhhhhhhh! I get it! [starts to laugh hysterically]
 * Plankton: [screams in pain, cut to Mr. Krabs smiling smugly with headphones on, then back to Plankton, the two side pieces of tape holding down Plankton's sides come off] Oh, make it stop, Krabs! Make it stop! [scene cuts back to Mr. Krabs, then it cuts to everyone, including SpongeBob still laughing, Plankton still screaming, and Mr. Krabs still wearing the headphones, then Plankton imagines millions of SpongeBobs laughing until...]
 * Squidward: [opens the door with angry customers behind him, interrupting the moment] Mr. Krabs? [hears SpongeBob's laughter] SpongeBob, zip it! [SpongeBob finally stops laughing]
 * Plankton: Oh, thank you, Squidward.
 * Squidward: The customers are getting restless. They're asking for... refunds.
 * [The word "refunds" goes out of his mouth as it echoes & goes toward Mr. Krabs' headphones.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [his headphones comes off and he shouts] Refunds?! [the customers are chanting "Refunds"] Listen up boy! [pushes SpongeBob into the kitchen] Get in there and make me customers some Krabby Patties! All right, Plankton... [sees that Plankton has escaped, then SpongeBob opens up the patty vault and screams like a girl] SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy? [moves SpongeBob over to check the vault and has the same reaction of screaming like a girl too, then the vault reveals that all the patties are gone] We're out of Krabby Patties?!
 * SpongeBob: How can we make more Krabby Patties without the secret formula?!
 * Mr. Krabs: You've got to have that formuler memorized by now!
 * SpongeBob: [puts his hat back on] But as you are aware, sir, the employee handbook clearly states and I quote, "No employee may, in part or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty Secret Formula to any recorded, written, or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needle point."
 * Mr. Krabs: [cries for a second, shakes his fist and shouts] Curse you, fine print!
 * [Scene cuts to show a few angry customers picking up the order boat and chanting "refunds".]
 * Mr. Krabs: Stop! [everyone stops and the customers drop the order boat] I'm not your enemy! [while holding a "WANTED" sign with a picture of Plankton on it] Plankton is your enemy!
 * Squidward: So is he an anemone or Plankton?
 * Mrs. Puff: [plays a rim shot] Well, someone had to do it.
 * SpongeBob: But...but, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: [while flipping the paper to show a Krabby Patty on it] He took this from you. [the customers gasp]
 * Fred: A Krabby Patty.
 * Sandals: I can almost taste it.
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Plankton didn't take the secret formula.
 * Mr. Krabs: [while throwing the paper away] Not now, SpongeBob!
 * Patrick: [sits at a table, catching the paper which had a picture of a normal Krabby Patty] Hey! I ordered a double Krabby Patty.
 * Mr. Krabs: So, join me. Help get the formuler back, and I'll give each and every one of ya a free Krabby Patty! [the customers cheer] Oh, no, wait! Even better: a slight discount. [the customers groan, then they, along with Mr. Krabs, angrily run out of the Krusty Krab, chanting] To the Chum Bucket!
 * SpongeBob: [while looking out the front doors, sadly] But he didn't do it.
 * Plankton: [to Karen] I had it right in my greedy little mits, and then: poof! And now it's gone. Gone forever! Oh, I was so close to gaining the people's respect/fear.
 * Karen: Um, Plankton?
 * Plankton: Oh, when will my frustration/humiliation end?
 * Karen: Plankton...
 * Plankton: Not now, Hun! I'm ranting/raving. [sighs] All right, what is it?
 * Karen: Well, I was trying to tell you there's an angry mob outside, but now they're inside.
 * Plankton: [Realizing he should of listened] Oh... [Mr. Krabs snatches Plankton]
 * Karen: [while the mob angrily stares at her] I...just work here.
 * Mr. Krabs: [while he exit the Chum Bucket] We'd like to have a word with you.
 * [The chanting mob burst through the doors of the Chum Bucket while carrying Karen. Krabs slams Plankton on the ground]
 * Plankton: [chuckles nervously] You all look very hungry. Can I get anybody a Chumburger?
 * Mr. Krabs: [while pointing at Plankton] Enough with that niceties, Plankton! This is the last time I'm gonna ask you. Where is me formuler?!
 * Plankton: [while crawling away from Mr. Krabs] I told you, Krabs! I don't have it!
 * Mr. Krabs: Wrong answer! [prepares to stomp on Plankton]
 * SpongeBob: [offscreen] Stop!
 * [Camera pans to see SpongeBob in the mob]
 * SpongeBob: All right, Mr. Krabs. Let me get in on this. [growls, then angrily walks toward Plankton]
 * Plankton: What's going on around here?
 * SpongeBob: [pushes Mr. Krabs back] You may want to step back a little, Mr. Krabs. This could get messy.
 * Mr. Krabs: Let's hope so.
 * SpongeBob: So, you won't talk, eh, Plankton? [gets out a bubble jar] I didn't wanna have to do this. Plankton,... ...here comes the pain!
 * Mr. Krabs: Soap in the eye, eh? Diabolical.
 * Plankton: [while SpongeBob blows a bubble and sends Plankton in it] No, stop, don't!
 * Mr. Krabs: Wait, that didn't look painful.
 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you may not understand what I'm about to do today. [gets in the bubble] But someday, we'll look back and have a good laugh. [the bubble floats away]
 * Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute.
 * Customer: Hey, they're getting away!
 * SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs!
 * Mr. Krabs: So, you've been runnin' a long con on me, eh? All these years, you've been working for Plankton?!
 * Paco: They're in cahoots!
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I guess that's a short way of saying it. Stop that bubble!
 * [the customers throw stuff at the bubble, including a football and a customer]
 * Customer: Please tell me there's something soft below me.
 * SpongeBob and Plankton: Uh, nope. [the customer falls and screams]
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! [the bubble floats farther] Oh, you were like an underpaid son to me. I would have expected Squidward to stab me in the back! [points to Squidward, who had been sleeping on his feet]
 * Squidward: [wakes up] Huh, what?
 * Mr. Krabs: But SpongeBob, me most trusted employee, working with me sworn enemy?! [while pointing at Squidward] You know what this means, Mr. Squidward?
 * Squidward: We get the rest of the day off?
 * Mr. Krabs: No! This be but a harbinger of what I fear lies ahead. For you, for me, for all of Bikini Bottom! The Krabby Patty is what ties us all together! Without it, there will be a complete breakdown of social order! A war of all against all! Dark times are ahead! Dark times indeed! [falls on his face]
 * Squidward: Seriously? [Mr. Krabs gets up] Aren't you overreacting a bit? [Bikini Bottom and its citizens shift to a post-apocalyptic phase à la Mad Max full of fire]
 * Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. [camera zooms out] I hope you like leather. [Bikini Bottomites run away angrily; camera zooms out again]
 * Squidward: I prefer suede.
 * [Binkini Bottom sign burns down; scene fades back to Burger Beard's book]
 * Burger Beard: And so, Bikini Bottom became an apocalyptic cesspool forevermore. The end! [closes the book, then stands up and stretches]
 * Kyle: Wait a minute. That's a terrible ending!
 * David: Oh, this is bad. Really bad! SpongeBob's in trouble, and the story's over?!
 * Andy: Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!
 * [As another seagull bangs his head with a bell repeatedly, others freak out as yet another one, Henry, steps on Burger-Beard's steering wheel.]


 * Henry: There is no way that that's the end of the story.
 * Burger Beard: Oh, of course it is. I'll show you. Just turn around.
 * Henry: Oh, all right. [Burger-Beard takes a feather off of the seagull and uses it to write in the book] Hey, I need that to fly, you jerk!
 * Burger Beard: [says it as he writes it] The end! [the false credits start to roll]
 * Henry: That's not the end.
 * [The false credits appear, but are quickly interrupted by ripping itself to the scene that shows Burger-Beard and the seagull fighting against the book until the fake ending page rips out, causing Burger-Beard to fall]
 * Andy: You'd better keep reading, Mr. Pirate,... [he and other seagulls aim their butts at Burger-Beard] ...or else!
 * Henry: [while he drops the paper in the ocean] I know I shouldn't be littering, but that ending was rubbish!
 * [The paper falls in the ocean, which is actually the post-apocalyptic Bikini Bottom where the Bikini Bottomites riot around angrily.]
 * Patrick: [as he walks in the Krusty Krab oblivious to the destruction] Good morning, Squidward. I'll have the usual. [a fiery boat crashes in the Krusty Krab] With cheese.
 * Squidward: We're out of Krabby Patties right now!
 * Patrick: [as he backs away slowly] No...Krabby Patties?! [as he turns himself into a post-apocalyptic version of himself with a hammer duct taped to his head] No!
 * SpongeBob: [as he and Plankton still float in the bubble through the destroyed Bikini Bottom] Look what's become of Bikini Bottom. We've really gotta get that formula back.
 * Plankton: Hmm... Get the secret formula, you say? Excuse me, I...need a moment. With that formula, I could rule the world! [Plankton laughs evilly, then clears his throat]
 * SpongeBob: You know I can hear you, right?
 * Plankton: Well, what do we do now?
 * SpongeBob: Now we work together. You know, teamwork.
 * Plankton: What's a te-amwork?
 * SpongeBob: No, Plankton, teamwork.
 * Plankton: Te-amwork.
 * SpongeBob: Teamwork.
 * Plankton: Tie 'em work.
 * SpongeBob: Teamwork.
 * Plankton: Tie 'em up.
 * SpongeBob: Say "team" like a sports...
 * Plankton: Team.
 * SpongeBob: Team. Now say "work."
 * Plankton: Work.
 * SpongeBob: Put 'em together, what do you got?
 * Plankton: Time bomb... work.
 * SpongeBob: Gettin' better.
 * [scene cuts to show Sandy in her treedome about to eat a Krabby Patty while turning on the news]
 * Johnny: [on TV] Now, Bikini Bottom action news!
 * Sandy: [gasps to see Patrick slobbering on the glass] Oh! Hey, Patrick!
 * [As Sandy gets closer to eating the Krabby Patty, Patrick angrily knocks on the glass and repeatedly shouts "Krabby Patty!" until she eats it and Patrick sadly walks away.]
 * Patrick: Come on, tummy. It's gonna be a long day.
 * Johnny: [on TV] We interrupt your regular program for an important news bulletin!
 * Perch Perkins: [cuts to him in the post-apocalyptic street of Bikini Bottom] Perch Perkins reporting live from Downtown Bikini... [ducks from a boat being thrown at a building] ...Bottom. Complete chaos here today as our town attempts to deal with a sudden and complete shortage of Krabby Patties. [the building falls down] Whoa! Events here have this reporter wondering, what is the secret ingredient in Krabby Patties, anywaaaaaaayyyy?! [runs away]
 * Fish: It's love! The secret ingredient is love! [swings a flail at the camera, static, Sandy's TV shuts off, Sandy gasps]
 * Sandy: No more Krabby Patties?! If I'd known that, I'd have chewed it slower. Huh? [sees a piece of paper falling from the surface] What the corndog is that?! [the The End page lands on her treedome]
 * [scene cuts back to SpongeBob and Plankton floating in a bubble through the Post-apocalyptic Bikini Bottom]
 * SpongeBob: Come on, Plankton, it's easy, It means I help you, you help me, and when we accomplish our goal, then we do hands in the middle.
 * Plankton: Hands in the middle? No, no, sounds idiotic. Besides, the two of us are no match for that cranky mob. [scene cuts to show a couple fish knocking down a donut sign, then back to Plankton] We could probably use a few more... te-am-works.
 * SpongeBob: That's exactly what I was thinking. [prepares to pop the bubble]
 * Plankton: Wait, what are you doing?
 * [SpongeBob and Plankton fall and land between Patrick and Squidward's houses. All three houses are badly damaged.]
 * Patrick: [as he smashes his rock with his head] I...need...Krabby Patties!
 * SpongeBob: [gets up] Patrick, what are you doing?
 * Patrick: I...need...Krabby Patties! [Stops smashing his rock] Vandalizing stuff.
 * Plankton: Isn't that your house?
 * Patrick: Hey, what's with all the questions?! Who are you guys?!
 * SpongeBob: It's me, your best friend, SpongeBob.
 * Patrick: Oh, yeah. Well, if you're SpongeBob, then what's the secret password?
 * SpongeBob and Plankton: Uhh...
 * Patrick: Correct! It is you! SpongeBob! [dogpiles on SpongeBob, squishing Plankton] SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Patrick!
 * Patrick: SpongeBob! Why aren't you at the Krusty Krab making Krabby Patties? [sits on Plankton]
 * SpongeBob: Well, I'd love to, but the formula's gone.
 * Patrick: Yeah, Mr. Krabs says you and Plankton took it.
 * SpongeBob: No, that's not what happened. It just disappeared. We're putting a team together to find it.


 * Patrick: A team? Oh, oh, pick me, pick me, pick me!
 * SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, you're in.
 * Plankton: I don't know, SpongeBob. [pops to normal] What exactly does this clown bring to the te-am?
 * SpongeBob: He brings loyalty, Plankton, loyalty. Isn't that right, Patrick?
 * Patrick: Yeah, yeah, loyalty. I've got SpongeBob! He's over here! [makes a siren noise]
 * Mr. Krabs: Let's go get him! [he and the Bikini Bottomites run toward SpongeBob]
 * Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob. Let's get out of here!
 * SpongeBob: Patrick- [Patrick throws SpongeBob onto Plankton, sits on them, then resumes making the siren noise] Patrick, why are you doing this?!
 * Patrick: Because I! NEED! Krabby Patties! Hurry up! I'm hungry! Over here! [SpongeBob digs out from under Patrick's butt, grabs Plankton, then runs away from the angry mob] Guys? Am I still on the team? [to his butt] Hey, what are you looking at?
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Plankton running away from the angry mob, then it cuts to Sandy's treedome, then SpongeBob presses the "Air Lock" button and grabs his water helmet]
 * SpongeBob: Sandy! [as the water drains, he puts his water helmet on, gets out a cup and scoops up Plankton] Sandy? [pans down on her tree as Sandy jumps down] Sandy. Sandy, are you home? Gee, Plankton, I wonder where she is. What is all this stuff? [Sandy runs to the right] Sandy? [starts to touch a paper showing a drawing of a Krabby Patty]
 * Sandy: [jumps on SpongeBob] Don't touch that! [jumps away from SpongeBob, then reads a book. She starts mumbling.] Incoherent muttering...
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, are you okay?
 * Sandy: Okay?! [pushes a chalkboard away from the window, revealing the post apocalyptic Bikini Bottom] Have you looked outside?! Does that seem okay to you?! I'm trying to figure out what happened to society. If we don't fix it soon, there won't be anything left to fix! [runs to the right]
 * SpongeBob: Sandy! The lack of Krabby Patties has driven her mad.
 * Sandy: And I think I figured it out. Look! [clears a bunch of papers, revealing the page from Burger Beard's book, with the words "THE END!" written on it] When this came down from above, I knew it could only mean one thing.
 * SpongeBob: And that would be?
 * Sandy: It means it's the end! The sandwich gods are angry with us!
 * SpongeBob and Plankton: Sandwich gods?
 * Sandy: I just don't know how we're going to appease them! [SpongeBob and Plankton look at each other, then Sandy puts the papers back on the wall as SpongeBob slowly walks away to her front door]
 * Plankton: You got any other friends who aren't dim bulbs or nut jobs?
 * SpongeBob: Well, I have one friend who's loyal to the very end. [bubble transition to SpongeBob and Plankton hiding from the angry mob behind SpongeBob's house, then the scene cuts to inside SpongeBob's house] Gary, I'm home. [scene cuts to SpongeBob's bedroom, which has been ransacked] Gare bear? [while walking down the hall] Gary? Gary? [a little bit of snail slime falls on SpongeBob's face] Huh?
 * Plankton: Revolting!
 * SpongeBob: But it means Gary is close by. Gary, I'm back! Whoa. [scene cuts to Gary wearing a crown on his throne] Oh, hey, Gary. Plankton and I need you to help us find the Krabby Patty formula and fix Bikini Bottom.
 * Gary: [meowing "Sorry, SpongeBob. But I do not have to do as you say anymore."]
 * SpongeBob: What do you mean you don't have to do as I say anymore?!
 * Gary: [meowing "I am the king of snails."]
 * SpongeBob: What do you mean king of snails?! Gary the Snail, you get down here right now and join this team!
 * Gary: [meowing "Guards! Seize them."]
 * SpongeBob: What do you mean seize them?! [the other snails pop out of their shells and roar]
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Plankton running away from the snails while SpongeBob screams]
 * Plankton: Why are you running?
 * SpongeBob: Because they're right on our tail. [sees the snails coming after them slowly] Oh, right, snails.
 * Plankton: Well, so much for your te-am.
 * SpongeBob: Putting together a team is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
 * Mr. Krabs: This way!
 * Plankton: We better get out of here until things cool off.
 * [The pair run off as the camera cuts to Crystal Prep.]