Astro Boy Games (AVGN Episode)

WARNING: NSFW Dialogue

Synopsys
The Nerd with the help of Astro himself review Astro Boy based games, including Mighty Atom for the Famicon and Super Famicom, Astro Boy: Omega Factor, Astro Boy on the PS2 and Astro Boy: The Video Game for the DS.

Transcrips
Nerd VO: "Anime", a hand-drawn and computer animation art form originating from or associated with Japan, "Manga", comics created in Japan or by creators in the Japanese language, both have been around since the late 19th century to the early 20th century, but the one made them the way they are today was a man by the name of Osamu Tezuka, many of his well known characters included Black Jack, Jungle Emperor Leo, but the one character he'll always be known for is Astro Boy, known as Mighty Atom in Japan, for those unaware, it's the story of a man named Dr. Umataro Tenma who builds a robot from the likeness of his son Tobio, Tenma is happy but later on sees that the robot can't grow, so he sells him to a circus ran by a mustachioed creep, however Astro would be rescued and adopted by the wise Professor Ochanomizu or Dr. Elefun, who has a big ass nose, he would raise the bot as his own and the robot would be given the name "Astro" or "Atom", with adventures including stopping evil robots and evil humans, having siblings and getting fucking murdered by a psychopath... it spawned not 1 but 3 Animes, a Computer Animated movie, a Prequel Manga, 2 Muppet Babies-esque spin-offs and inspired a lot of other famous franchises like Mega Man.

Nerd: with a successful franchise like that, there were toys, T-shirts, ramen packs and of course, video games, and you know what that means, either we'll find common diarrhea or a rare diamond in the rough, and helping me along is Astro himself!

Astro: How did I get here?

Nerd: Never mind that, we're gonna play some shit with your likeness on it, how's that?

Astro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nerd: Just what I thought, well first off is Mighty Atom for the Famicom, only released in Japan, let's pop this fucker in and give it a go...

* 8-bit Astro Boy theme plays*

Nerd VO: hey, it has the theme song, but that's only a tease when you press start, the plot is like any episode of the show, a bunch of robbers take Elefun's bag of something, could be money or a valuable item I don't fucking know, so anyways you control Astro and beat the shit out of these guys for points, seems like a straightforward game, only problem, you die in one hit and fall into pieces in the first level.

Nerd: He's supposed to be the most Powerful robot in the world and yet he falls to pieces in one hit? what the fuck?

Nerd VO: was this meant as a parody? we're they trying to pull a joke?

* Shows a montage of Astro falling to pieces in-game*

Nerd VO: Fuck, Fuck!, Fuck!! FUCK!!!

Nerd: this game makes Astro look like a complete joke, the graphics also look like diarrhea, and it's also one of those "Where the Fuck do I go?" kinda games

Astro: Is it really that bad?

Nerd: well, why not give it a try?

Astro: okay...

* Shows another montage of Astro falling to pieces in-game*

Astro VO: Dammit, fuck, shit!, FUCK!!!

Astro: THIS GAME SUCKS MY ASTRO BALLS!!!

Nerd: Just what I thought...

* Sees the Game Over screen*

Both: *Shocked Face*

Nerd VO: What... the... fuck?, you can't make this up, when you die, you have a Tombstone for you as Elefun is sobbing at your grave... now that would be traumatizing

Nerd: no wonder why this didn't get a release overseas...

Nerd VO: Next up Mighty Atom on the Super Famicom, movin' up to 16-bits, Astro walks like he's got Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde's cane up his ass, and when he ducks down, It looks like he just dumped ass

* Makes a Flatulence sound*

Nerd VO: In one stage, you have to find some guy's pet bird, and you see a Birdseye view of Astro, but it's nauseating as shit

Nerd: Augh it's hurting my senses, what about you Astro?

Astro: My Files are getting corrupted

Nerd: I can see why...

Nerd VO: After that, it's more platforming, Fuck, I'm dead as shit!

* Shows another montage of Astro dying in-game*

Nerd VO: Fuck, Fuck!!, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!, *Suddenly speaks Japanese* Kono kuso no bubun o seikō shi nasai!!!!

Astro: Give me a try...

* Shows yet another montage*

Astro VO: Fuck, Shit!, ASSS!!!!, FUUUUUUUCK!!!

* Takes the cartridge out*

Nerd: okay Astro, this one's on you

* Throws it up in the air*

* Astro's machine gun rears peep out*

* RATATATATATATATATATATATATA*

* The Game falls to pieces*

Nerd: Yeeeeah that's the Nerdy spirit!, anyway, however, there is one good Astro Boy game, Astro Boy: Omega Factor on the Game Boy Advanced, we're playing it on the GameCube Game Boy Player, let's pop this fucker in

Nerd VO: This... this... actually isn’t bad, the controls are fluent, the challenge is hard but fair at the same time, you have a lot of the famous characters such as Uran, Pluto, Atlas and an assortment of other Tezuka Characters I'm not aware of, and it's from Treasure, the makers of Gunstar Heroes, one complaint I would have to say is that it can be hard as it goes on, but it's all about trial and error

Nerd: all that aside, this one acts like... a game!, an actually good one

Astro: I like it, I give it the thumbs up!

Nerd: If you want a good Astro Boy game, give this a shot, but enough of that, it's like taking a pill that prevents you from shitting and then taking a diarrhea dump right away, next up is simply titled "Astro Boy" on the PlayStation 2 *Puts the game in*

Nerd VO: It’s slow paced, repetitive, bland, gets really really hard at the end, and he won’t shut up!

* Cut to how he says “Let’s rocket” every time you accelerate*

Nerd: *Mockingly talks* Let's Rocket! Let's Rocket!, Let's Rocket!

Nerd VO: also you talk to other people

Guy: See His Power...

* Nerd Pops out*

Nerd: See his Power? who's power? a powerful c*ck I presume

* Back to his room*

Nerd: sorry, I mean "Cuck" whatever that means, yeah, trying to be hip with the kids..., why not you try this out Astro... Astro?

Astro: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, these shitty games, ruining my image...

Nerd: Allllright then...guess I'll have to go by my own then...

Nerd VO: Next is Astro Boy: The Video Game for the DS based on the movie, well I'm playing it on my 3DS just for variety, well looks like they took Omega Factor and took a Shovel ware shit on it, seriously, and look at the depictions of the screenshots from the movie, they look like PS1 era, DS? PS? more like BS!

Nerd: That's it, these games are all I can take, these are an insult to Osamu Tezuka and his legacy as an artist, Astro, take em away...

Astro: Will do

* Grabs the games*

Astro flies out of the house, making a hole

Nerd: That's my fucking roof!

* Dramatic Music Plays*

Astro continues flying into the sun to destroy the two games, as the Nerd watches in Awe, Astro explodes on collision letting a boom let out and we see the Cinemassacre logo from the boom

THE END