Helluva Boss (film)/Transcript

Transcript of the 2024 film Helluva Boss.

Prologue
(The A24 (North American version only), Sony, and TriStar Pictures logo play. In a black background, the words "TriStar Pictures and A24 present" and "A New Eden Production" fade in. Then we fade to a night backdrop, where a car pulls into a warehouse. Out stepped a human, aged 40, who walked in, as the camera showed newspapers saying: "FBI's Most Wanted Criminal Escapes!" and "President Urges Citizens for Extra Caution.")

Unknown Person #1: So... you've planned it out?

(A light flickered in, revealing another man of Mexican ethnicity.)

Unknown Person #2: Yes, boss. The henchmen and I did exactly what you asked.

Unknown Person #1: Good.

(He stepped into the light, revealing himself as Dicker "El Dicko" Francis. He wore a black suit and a small top hat. He threw his smoking pipe on a map.)

El Dicko: Hernando!

Hernando: Yes, boss?

El Dicko: Come over here.

(Hernando walked over to El Dicko, next to the map.)

Hernando: What do you want to show me?

El Dicko: Look here.

(He placed his finger on an unnamed area near New York City.)

El Dicko: What do you say we... make a base out of our criminal records?

Hernando: You sure about this? The last time we did so, you got captured.

El Dicko: Oh, Hernando. When will you learn? I've got just the thing that defies the police.

Hernando: And that is...?

El Dicko: A painting.

(Hernando took a moment to process that.)

Hernando: Hm. I like where you're going with this.

El Dicko: Exactly. Because, my friend, once we assassinate the President of the United States, the world will see how dangerous of a human I am, and they will bow to me, giving us what we always want...

(The camera moved toward his face.)

El Dicko: ...loyalty.

(Then we cut to black.)

Part 1
(We cut to a commercial jingle titled the "I.M.P. Jingle." In the commercial, it shows a montage of three demons and one hellhound killing humans.)

Singer:

When you want somebody gone

And you don't want to wait too long

Call the Immediate Murder Professionals

Hand grenade or cyanide

We'll make it look like suicide

The Immediate Murder Professionals

We do our job so well

Because we come straight up from Hell

We'll kill your husband or your wife

We'll even let you keep the knife

We're the Immediate Murder Professionals

Kids die for free!

(The jingle ends.)

Voiceover: For more information, dial the number shown on screen.

(Cut to a board meeting, where Blitzo, the boss of I.M.P., is in front of a TV.)

Blitzo: Boom! And that's how you do a TV ad, everyone! I knew I couldn't forget you, Loony.

(Loona, Blitzo's adopted daughter and hellhound, rolls her eyes and looks at her cellphone. Moxxie, an employee of I.M.P., raises his hand.)

Moxxie: Sir, how would you know that remaking this commercial would bring in more clients?

Blitzo: Moxxie, don't lower my hopes down.

Moxxie: I'm not lowering your hopes down.

Blitzo: Now, any questions before I dismiss you all?

(Millie, an employee of I.M.P. and the wife of Moxxie, raises her hand.)

Blitzo: Yes, Millie?

Millie: What's our paycheck for the ad?

Blitzo: I didn't get an email from the advertising company yet. Hopefully they'll pay us or else I am going to fucking sue them.

Moxxie: Suing them is not going to change their mind, sir.

Blitzo: Yeah, yeah, Moxxie. Alright, dismissed!

(Millie, Moxxie, and Loona left the board room and went to their respective working areas.)

Moxxie: You think we could get this company up with that ad? It's the exact same thing we did before, but with Loona added.

Millie: Chill, Mox. I'm sure we could get up on our feet!

Moxxie: If only we can.

(Cut to Blitzo looking at his phone in his office, swiping on Sinstagram and swipes away an ad for the Hazbin Hotel. A pop-up for an incoming phone call from an owl named Stolas appears.)

Blitzo: Ah, crap.

(He accepts the phone call.)

Blitzo: Hello?

(We cut to a bedroom with Stolas, the Goetic Prince of Hell.)

Stolas: Why, hello, my Blitzy.

Blitzo: Stolas, what do you want?

(Stolas snickered.)

Blitzo: Oh, god. Stolas, don't!

Stolas: Why not, Blitzø?

Blitzo: I'm not going to do... that.

Stolas: But it's so nice when you [bleep] on my [bleep], and then [bleep] all over you again.

Blitzo: Please stop.

Stolas: Oh, I'm not done yet. When I get there, you'll [bleep] on me, just like how I request it. [bleep] on that [bleep] of yours and then [bleep] all over you. And then the cycle continues.

Blitzo: If you don't stop this instant, I will hang up on you.

Stolas: Come on, Blitzø. We're just getting started.

Blitzo: We are not getting started.

Stolas: It's only for a little bit. So- Hello?

(Stolas finds out the call had ended.)

Stolas: Oh, well. Maybe he'll decide upon it.

(Just then, Octavia, Stolas's daughter, came in.)

Octavia: Dad, Mom wants to talk with you.

(Stolas sighed.)

Stolas: Tell her I'm coming.

Octavia: Alright.

(Cut back to I.M.P. headquarters, where Loona was at her reception desk.)

TBA.