Cell Block Tango (Bowser's castle)

To the tune of Cell Block Tango from Chicago the Musical

Synopsis
In this version, Ariel from Disney's The Little Mermaid explores Bowser's castle as she enters it, when out of the sudden blue, she hears water dripping from the nook and cranny of the cracked stone followed by a thump from an enchanted mushroom in a flowerpot and then a triple tap from Bulbasaur's Vine Whip.

Voice cast

 * Kathleen Barr as Queen Chrysalis (from My Little Pony)
 * Haviland Stillwell as Raquelle (from the Barbie franchise)
 * Colleen O'Shaughnessey as Kelsey Hino (from Smile Pretty Cure)
 * Dahee Kim as SeeU (from Vocaloid)
 * Grace Kaufman as Ozai the Sinister Bunny
 * Lisa Norton as Cynthia Payne
 * Kenny James as Bowser
 * Jodi Benson as Ariel (from Disney's The Little Mermaid)

Intro
Ariel (entering the castle): What is this place? I've never seen a castle like this one before. I wonder who owns it? Oh, well. I'll just have to see for myself.

Musical number
[Queen Chrysalis] Dark

[Raquelle] 12

[Kelsey Hino] Splash

[SeeU] Uh-uh

[Ozai] Snuggle Land

[Cynthia Payne] Reputation Bowser: And now, the 6 mad maniacs of my home castle in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango. *chuckling*

[Chrysalis] Dark

[Raquelle] 12

[Kelsey] Splash

[SeeU] Uh-uh

[Ozai] Snuggle Land

[Cynthia] Reputation

(6 characters repeat 3 more times)

[All sans SeeU]
 * They had it coming
 * They had it coming
 * They only had themselves to blame
 * If you had been there
 * If you had seen it

[Ozai] I betcha you would've done the same

[Chrysalis] Dark

[Raquelle] 12

[Kelsey] Splash

[SeeU] Uh-uh

[Ozai] Snuggle Land

[Cynthia] Reputation

(6 characters repeat once more) Chrysalis: You know how ponies have those little habits that get you down? Like King Sombra as my example, he was obsessed with making crystals bland. No, not bland, dark. So I came home after my hair appointment and I was concerned looking for a bit of empathy, and here's Sombra slouching on the terrace drinking apple cider and using his magic to make the crystals bland. No, not bland, dark! So I said to him in an irked voice, "you turn one more crystal dark..." and he did. Afterwards, I charged my magical horn on my forehead and then blasted two warning shots...jolting him to an end.

[All sans SeeU]
 * He had it coming
 * He had it coming
 * He only had himself to blame
 * If you had been there
 * If you had heard it
 * I betcha you would've done the same

Raquelle: I met Ken near Mattel Town Centre about two years ago. He really told me that he was a single bachelor and we hit it off right away. So we started living together. Every day he'd go to work, come home, I fixed him a drink and we had dinner; and then I found out, "a single bachelor, he told me?" A single bachelor, my torso! Not only was he married-- oh, no; he had 12 wives. One of them named Barbie, you know? So after he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their mustard gas. Kelsey: Now I'm walking around the onsen setting up refreshments for my special guests who all have preferences, and in the middle of it, Wolfrun came hungry as a wolf. "You're starving me," he says. His hunger got worse and he roared at me, "YOU'RE STARVING ME!" And then he ran into the boiler. He ran into the boiler turning him dry bones.

[All sans SeeU]
 * If you had someone who seemed too crazy
 * You'd force him into the pit of shame

Ariel: Oh, so you're saying that you didn't do it?

SeeU: Uh-uh, NOT guilty!

Ozai: My classmate Snuggle Bunny and I had this school field trip and my girlfriend Snuggelina came to join us. Now, during the music assembly, we did about 40 dance moves in a row; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, hops, jumps, bounces, carrot flips, ear flops, one right after the other. So during the day my whole class went to the museum, we learned some history about Snuggle Land; the three of us nuzzling, having a few laughs, and we ran out of carrot cake, so I bounced out to get another one. I come back, establish the kitchen, and there's Snuggelina and Snuggle doing number 37, the Cuddling Kiss Cluster. Well, I was such in a state of shock; I completely blacked out not really remembering a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my fur, I even knew they were ultimately dead! (repeat counterpart once more)

Cynthia: Aw, I loved Ricardo Rabbit more than anyone can possibly say. He was the best idol in Gnarly Woods with a sensational reputation of music. But he was trying to find out more than my desire. He'd go out trying to find more things and on the way, he found Tina, Gabby, Louise and even Razzy. I guess you could say we split up because of personal differences. He saw himself as famous and I saw him consumed.

[Chrysalis] It was insane

[Raquelle] Insane

[Kelsey] Insane (SeeU: I'm not insane!)

[Chrysalis & Raquelle] It was insane

[Kelsey & Ozai] Insane

[Cynthia] Insane ([SeeU] I'm not insane)

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] They had it coming

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] They had it coming

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] They had it coming

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] They had it coming

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] They had it coming all along

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] They had it coming all along

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] 'Cause if they used us

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] 'Cause if they used us

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] Then they abused us

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] Then they abused us

[All] How could you tell us that we were wrong?

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] They had it coming

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] They had it coming

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] They had it coming

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] They had it coming

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] They only had themselves to blame

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] They only had themselves to blame

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] If you had been there

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] If you had been there

[Chrysalis, Raquelle & Kelsey] If you had seen it

[SeeU, Ozai & Cynthia] If you had seen it

[All] I betcha you would've done the same

Chrysalis: You turn one more crystal dark...

Raquelle: A single bachelor, my torso!

Kelsey: Dry bones!

SeeU: 왜 그런지 모르겠다... (Wae geuleonji moleugessda...) [I don't know why...]

Ozai: Number 37, the Cuddling Kiss Cluster.

Cynthia: Personal differences...

[Chrysalis] Dark

[Raquelle] 12

[Kelsey] Splash

[SeeU] Uh-uh

[Ozai] Snuggle Land

[Cynthia] Reputation