Sausage Party: Dawn of the Humans/Transcript

This is the transcript for Sausage Party: Dawn of the Humans, the upcoming sequel to the 2016 animated film, Sausage Party.

Part 1: Opening/The Real World/The Surprise
(Shows Sony logo)

(Shows Columbia Pictures logo variant with the female anthropomorphic hot dog bun named Brenda being the torch lady)

(Shows Annapurna Pictures logo)

(Shows Point Grey Pictures logo)

(Shows flashbacks from the first film)

Brenda (voice-over): Six months ago, a sausage, well my boyfriend named Frank, discovers the terrible truth and "The Great Beyond" was nothing but a rumored fictional paradise, which is all bullshit. We declared war on humans and Douche, after betraying the objects and joining the humans' side. With Douche and Darren destroyed for good, we won, and now, all the foods, beverages, and other objects live a happy life thanks to us. But then, Firewater discovered that we were cartoon characters in an adult-oriented animated movie made by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. So, we went through the portal to the real world to explore there, and... it was much worse than our world.

(The scene cuts to the sidewalk at a city in the real world. The objects came out of the portal and ended up in the real world.)

Barry: What the hell? What is this place?

Firewater: The real world.

Sammy Bagel: Wow, jeez!

(Sammy looks at an ambulance truck driving down the road.)

Frank: Holy shit! Look at this place.

Barry: Oh, wow!

Gum: Three! There's three of them!

(Gum looks at Seth Rogen and Michael Cera, who are eating hot dogs, and Edward Norton, who is eating a bagel. Brenda saw this and gasped.)

Brenda: No!

(The three live action men are in the restaurant having a conversation. The objects in the background are watching them.)

Michael Cera: It's always good to see you, guys.

Seth Rogen: It's really good to see you too!

Michael Cera: It's just more than once a week.

Seth Rogen: Way more than once a week!

(Seth Rogen looks at the window and sees the objects.)

Firewater: We'd better get back to our world.

Gum: I agree with you. It's a good thing I have this portal ray gun.

(Gum takes out the portal ray gun and gives it to Firewater.)

Firewater: Thank you.

(Firewater uses the portal ray gun and aims it at a brick wall. He then shoots out the beam at the wall and a portal appears.)

Firewater: Let's go back to our world. The real world sucks anyway.

Gum: We'll come back to the real world for another visit sometime.

(The objects enter the portal to the Sausage Party universe and it disappears. The screen is then peeled off like a page in a book as the scene transitions to the blue sky at the Sausage Party universe. The clouds merge into a giant one and it morphs into the film's title "SAUSAGE PARTY: DAWN OF THE HUMANS". The cloud in the shape of the film's title disappears and the camera pans down to a grocery store in the Sausage Party universe called Shopwell's. Frank covers Brenda's eyes as he's taking her to the clothing aisle where the surprise is.)

Brenda: Can't wait for my surprise. (peeks her right eye)

Frank: No peeking, Brenda. We're not there yet. (covers Brenda's right eye)

Brenda: Okay. I can't wait.

(When Brenda and Frank got to the clothing aisle, they stopped at the sock flower display.)

Frank: Open your eyes.

(Brenda opens her eyes and sees the sock flowers, the products from Shopwell's.)

Sock Puppet 1 (singing voice): Will.

Sock Puppet 2 (singing voice): You.

Sock Puppet 3 (singing voice): Marry.

Sock Puppet 4 (singing voice): Frank?

Sock Puppet 5 (singing voice): That son of a bitch!

Sock Puppet 1: Um, do you really have to say that?

Sock Puppet 5: It's none of your goddamn business, you moron.

(Brenda and Frank look at each other.)

Brenda: Frank, I don't know if we should do this.

Frank: Aw, come on, Brenda. You know that I'm ready to be married. Um, are you?

Brenda: Hmmm. Well, I would be ready for marriage, but not at the moment though.

Frank: But, Brenda, we've spent our time together... as a team, as a duo, and... and as a romantic couple. (sighs) Look, I'm sorry that I left you alone, and... I'm sorry for forcing everyone to face... the terrible truth... about the so-called Great Beyond. I really hope this incident would never happen again, and because of that incident in the first movie, we don't even deserve to get married and start a family. I would rather be left alone... in the dark... as a homeless object laying on the streets... forever.

Brenda: Hey, it's okay. We all make mistakes sometimes, and... we all have free will. It's our choice whether we do something good or not.

Frank: Really?

Brenda: Yes, Frank, really. Also, I accept your apology.

(Brenda and Frank embrace.)

Frank: Thanks, Brenda.

Brenda: You're welcome, Frank.

Frank: Let's just go back to our aisle. We'll plan on getting married some other time.

(Frank and Brenda leave the clothing aisle and the lights went off.)

Part 2: The Recovery Center/The Lavash and the Bagel Brain
(Frank and Brenda walk back to the hot dog section of the bread and meat aisle when they see a recovery machine that came out of nowhere.)

Frank: Uh, Brenda.

Brenda: Yes?

Frank: You might wanna see this.

Brenda: What is that thing?

Frank: It's some sort of... uh... a recovery machine. A fucking recovery machine! The machine that brings objects, animals, and humans back to life. Who the fuck would ever invent this piece of shit?

Gum: I did. The lavash and the bagel brain helped me invent this.

Frank: What is it called?

Gum: It's called the "Recovery Center", dumbass. It can bring back many types of objects, animals, or humans to life. Watch and learn.

(Gum types in a deceased sausage on the computer and sends it to the Recovery Center, which then proceeds to bring a sausage named Carl back to life.)

Carl: Oh, my head. What happened? What do I miss?

Frank: Carl, you're back!

Carl: Hey, Frank! I have returned from the fucking dead!

Frank: I'm so glad to see you again, Carl.

Carl: So, you and your friends are surviving the war. I'm glad they killed the monsters and had a victory.

Barry: Carl! (hugs him)

Carl: Oh, Barry. I'm so glad to see you again. Do you remember when we think the Great Beyond is perfect for us?

Barry: Yes?

Carl: We thought the Great Beyond was a paradise. All of us foods thought so, but unfortunately, it's not what we thought it was. The monsters are killing us by cooking, smashing, slicing, and even eating us! Luckily, Frank and the others are fighting against them. Then, Gum brought me to the supermarket and put me in the Recovery Center, which brought me back to life.

Barry: Oh yeah.

(Meanwhile, at the Chinese aisle, Lavash is thinking about the math.)

Lavash: (thinking) Let's see me, what's thirty times two?

(Sammy was playing tagging with Soy Sauce.)

Sammy: Tag! You're it!

Soy Sauce: You got me! (laughs)

Lavash: (angry) Will you two shut up? I'm trying to solve a math problem here, you fuck face!

Sammy: (sarcastic) Oh, sorry about that, Lavash. You crazy bastard! (talks to Soy Sauce) Sorry about that. It's that Lavash. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. You better catch me as fast as you can!

Soy Sauce: Oh, okay.

(Sammy and Soy Sauce continue playing tag.)

Lavash: (sighs) What an idiot.

Part 3: Carrie Toh Discovers Shopwell's/Darren is Back
(Meanwhile, there was a female human being who came in inside the supermarket. It was a teenage girl named Carrie Toh.)

Carrie Toh: (talking with her phone) Don't worry about the incident, mom. Look, I have to go. See you later. (hangs up her phone) Let me see... she wants some sausages. Hmmm... (look around the supermarket) where are the sausages?

(Carrie went through the supermarket until she found a package of sausages.)

Carrie Toh: There you are.

(The food crew freaked out when they see Carrie across the sausages and buns section.)

Frank: Holy shit! That crazy bitch is coming to get us!

Brenda: Oh no! We thought we defeated the monsters! That lady is going to kill us all! I got an idea! Why don't you throw at her with a jam?

Barry: Good idea, Brenda.

(They then begin to throw the jar at Carrie. Carrie gets hit by the jar, which then falls to the floor and gets smashed into pieces.)

Carrie Toh: OW! (looks at the broken jar) What the fuck? That's it! It's time to play rough! (cracks her knuckles)

Frank: Oh god! Quick, hide!

(The food crew hides in the shelves. Carrie walks all over the store to find the culprit who threw the jar at her.)

Carrie Toh: WHERE ARE YOU?! I swear! I'll kill you! Come out, come out! Wherever you are!

(She notices an aisle, known as the Dark Aisle, with knives and other utensils on the floor. The aisle was messy because of Frank who accidentally made the mess there during the first film.)

Carrie Toh: Hmm, perhaps that bastard is hiding in there, and when I find him there, I'll kill that son of a bitch.

(She walks through the aisle until something is on her.)

Carrie Toh: Huh? What the hell... Uh, hello? Is anyone there?

(She then sees a cookbook, known as "Beyond Great Cooking", with a missing page that was torn apart from it.)

Carrie Toh: What the fuck is that? That page is missing from the cookbook.

(Then, Carrie grabs the book and runs to the cash counter where she finds the missing page.)

Carrie Toh: Where's the fucking page? Hmmm... where is it? (sees the missing page) Aha! Found it! (picks up the missing page and puts it on the book) Now I'll find those bastards.

(Carrie went back to the Dark Aisle to continue finding the culprit.)

Carrie Toh: Who threw the jar at me? Anybody?!

(Carrie turns around to see a rat in the trash.)

Carrie: (angry) I knew it! You are the one who threw the jar at me!

(The rat throws a testicle at Carrie which made her disgusted.)

Carrie Toh: (disgusted) EWWWWW!!! THAT'S NASTY!

(Carrie was about to vomit, so she runs to the restroom, puts her face on the toilet, and vomits into it. Carrie gets out of the restroom and walks back to the Dark Aisle.)

Speaker Announcer: Attention, shoppers. The store will have a big summer blowout sale.

Carrie Toh: A big summer blowout sale? That must be where the propane tanks are at.

(She saw the knives on the floor. She stole one of them and then cut all the cheese with it. Carrie put all cheeses on the floor after slicing the pieces of it. She decides to walk to the sausage and bun section at aisle two. Carrie saw a pair of glasses and a gun on the floor. She discovered that Darren lost his glasses and a gun when he got hit by the cart.)

(Carrie deiced picks a pair of glasses and a gun up, then puts in her purse and walks to the “Old Fashioned” peanut section.)

Carrie Toh: (worried) Man, what a mess... (notices a bloody eyeball) Whoa! Is that a bloody eyeball? (picks up the eyeball) I remember that the store manager got run over by a trash can rocket. Then the cart starts flying through the roof of Shopwell's and into the sky. There, the propane tanks detonated into fireworks, which killed Darren and the Douche, causing douche liquid and human blood to drop from the sky. Wait a minute! That must be Darren's eyeball.

(Carrie ran to a small recovery machine. Meanwhile, the food crew is spying on her.)

Frank: What the hell is she doing?

Barry: I don't know.

Brenda: Guys, look.

(They saw Carrie carefully placing the eyeball on the machine.)

Carrie Toh: There. Now I'll press the button to see what might happen.

(Carrie presses the button and the machine is turned on. The machine scans Darren's eyeball and immediately revives Darren the store manager in a matter of seconds.)

Frank: Oh shit! The dark lord is back! Quick, hide!

(The food crew hides again.)

Darren: Whoa! What happened?

Carrie Toh: You had been revived after being killed in the sky.

Darren: Oh. Thanks for reviving me.

Carrie Toh: No problem. Oh, by the way. What happened to everyone at the supermarket?

Darren: (sadly) They were frozen in the freezer thanks to the foods that abused them.

(Carrie hugs him in sadness.)

Carrie Toh: (sadly) So sorry for your loss.

Darren: (sadly) That's okay. What now? (return to normal) Should we get out of the store or something?

Carrie Toh: Well, we... (looks at the employees and the shoppers in the freezers) we could, but first, we have to get your customers and employees out of the freezers.

Darren: Okay. Let's do this.

(Carrie and Darren split up as they find the bodies. Carrie saw the employees in the freezers.)

Carrie Toh: Don't worry, guys. I will get you out of the freezer.

(Carrie pulls the broom out from the handle and opens the freezer, but the inside was blocked because of the ice.)

Carrie Toh: Shit! What now? I got an idea!

(She grabs a pickaxe, breaks the ice, and gets the employees out of the freezer.)

Carrie Toh: Guys? Can you hear me? Speak to me!

(One of the employees starts to breathe and wakes up. Carrie gasped as one of the employees was still alive.)

Carrie Toh: Oh thank god, you're alive!

Alex: (groans) What just happened?

Carrie Toh: You got shoved into the freezers by the food. Luckily, I got you out of there with a pickaxe.

Alex: Oh. Thanks for saving us from the foods, by the way.

Carrie Toh: You're welcome, ma'am.

Darren: Okay, get everyone out of the freezer. Oh, by the way, I found... (picks up the Druggie's head) this man's head from above of the shelf. What should I do with the head?

Carrie Toh: Uhhh.... Go to the garbage room where the small recovery machine is.

Darren: Okay. (runs off)

Carrie Toh: Don't worry, miss. Maybe I can call 911, just to make sure that you are safe and healthy. (calls 911 on her phone) Hello, my name is Carrie Toh. I'm at Shopwell's with the employees and customers. Some people are injured while others are killed. You should come to the supermarket quickly! See you later. (hangs up her phone) Okay, so the police, fire department, and ambulance should be here any minute now. (looks at her watch) Any minute now.

(Frank slowly peeks out of hiding, only to see Carrie Toh calling 911, in which he thinks she's calling someone for reinforcements.)

Frank: Okay, are those monsters gone yet? Nope, they're still there. Oh shit! One of the monsters has called its friends for reinforcements!

(Frank hides behind the shelf where the rest of the food crew are.)

Frank: We're totally fucked, you guys.

Brenda: We thought we defeated the monsters, but since they came back to life, they're going to kill us all!

Part 4: Arrival at Shopwell's/Darren's House/Carrie Becomes a Hot Dog Bun/Meeting Jane Stone the Scientist
(The police, fire department, and ambulance finally arrived at Shopwell's.)

Carrie Toh: Finally, help has arrived.

Police Officer #1: Hello, ma'am. What seems to be the problem?

Carrie Toh: Everyone has been attacked by living foods when they're on bath salts. Bath salts are like drugs that disguised as actual bath salts, you know, the water-soluble, pulverized mineral kind of salts used for baths. The white powdered minerals inside the drug package often resemble Epsom salts but are very different chemically. Those things are what caused everyone to hallucinate a lot all the time.

Police Officer #1: So, you're saying the employees at Shopwell's, along with the store's customers, were attacked by living food... because of bath salts. Right?

Carrie Toh: Yes.

(The police officers, firefighters, and paramedics look at each other and laugh. Carrie sighs in disappointment.)

Carrie Toh: Look, this is serious business. Okay?

Police Officer #2: What the hell are you talking about? I'm sure it sounds like funny business to me. What do you think?

Police Officer #1: Ho ho, that's definitely funny business, dude. Serious business? More like funny business.

(The police officers, firefighters, and paramedics continue laughing.)

Carrie Toh: Ugh! You fucking morons!

(The police officers, firefighters, and paramedics stopped laughing as Carrie Toh walks away from them. Carrie walks to Darren.)

Darren: So, what did they say?

Carrie Toh: They said that they thought it was funny business, which is what I said to them.

Darren: Oh, so, how are we supposed to eat, then? If we don't have food, that means we're gonna have to, like, starve to death. (gets an idea) Aha! I know! We'll go to my house.

Carrie Toh: Okay.

Alex: Good idea.

Carrie Toh: Good idea, Darren. Let's go.

(Meanwhile, at Darren's penthouse, Carrie, Alex, and Darren are getting the food out of the fridge.)

Alex: Finally, we got some food.

Darren: Yeah.

Carrie Toh: Now, let's eat.

(They begin to eat the food.)

Carrie Toh: Yum!

Alex: So good!

(While Carrie, Alex, and Darren eat some food, Carrie gets a chocolate bar and eats it. Darren and Alex look at Carrie.)

Carrie Toh: What?

Darren: Uh, what are you eating?

Carrie Toh: What? This? It's just an ordinary chocolate bar.

(Carrie finished eating the chocolate bar and throws away the wrapper into the trash. However, Darren got the wrapper from the trash and looks at it.)

Darren: Hmm, wait a minute. This ain't no ordinary chocolate bar. It's... it's a very special and very rare chocolate bar that turns people into food! (sees Carrie and runs towards her) Wait, stop!

(Carrie is about to leave Darren's penthouse, but before she does so, she's starting to get smaller. She stops and looks at her body. She's transforming into a hot dog bun.)

Carrie Toh: Uh, guys, what's happening to me?

(Carrie's arms begin to shrink and so do her legs. Her human body slowly morphs into a hot dog bun while she's still shrinking.)

Carrie Toh: Holy shit! I'm about to get smaller, and smaller, and smaller, and smaller!

(Carrie shrinks down to the size of a hot dog bun as she finally transforms into an anthropomorphic hot dog bun. Darren and Alex run to the entryway of Darren's penthouse, only to find out that Carrie has gone missing while a hot dog bun is left behind.)

Darren: HOLY SHIT!!! CARRIE IS GONE! And... and... huh? What is this doing here?

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Hey, guys! I'm down here.

(Darren and Alex look down and found Carrie, who has been transformed into a hot dog bun. They then scream at her. Carrie screams back at Darren and Alex.)

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Please don't hurt me!

(Darren and Alex freak out.)

Darren: Help! There's a living hot dog bun at my house!

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: No, no, no! Guys! It's me! Carrie!

(Darren and Alex stopped freaking out as they looked at Carrie.)

Darren: Carrie? Is that you?

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Yes, it's me!

Darren: But... I thought you were gone!

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Well, technically, I'm not. I just ate the chocolate bar, and it gives me some side effects, which includes transforming people into food.

Darren: What?! You ate that fucking chocolate bar?

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Yes! I was transformed into a hot dog bun magically, and now, I'm going to live as a hot dog bun for the rest of my life and spend the rest of my life as a hot dog bun, unless there's a way to change me back into a human. Wait, is there a way for you guys to change me back into a human?

(Darren and Alex look at each other and shrug. They then look at Carrie the Hot Dog Bun.)

Darren: Unfortunately, we don't.

Alex: We're just employees at Shopwell's, not scientists.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: (sighs) Yes, I know that. I guess I'll have to spend the rest of my life as a hot dog bun... forever.

Alex: Look, we'll find someone that can help you to change you back into a human.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Really? Who?

Alex: Jane Stone. She is a scientist who is best known for chemicals and gadgets.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Hmm, interesting.

Darren: Do you think she can turn Carrie back into a human?

Alex: Probably.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: We should go to see Jane Stone. But first, you should grab my purse. I can't grab it when I'm a bun!

Alex: I'll get it. (grabs her purse)

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: What about my clothes?

Alex: That too. (grabs Carrie's clothes) Alright, let's go.

(A few minutes later, Carrie, Alex, and Darren enter the science lab.)

Alex: We are here in the science lab.

Darren: Excuse us, miss.

Jane: Yes? How can I help you?

Darren: I need you to do us a little favor and change our friend back into a human.

Jane: Why?

Darren: Here's why. Carrie was magically transformed into a hot dog bun after eating one of the chocolate bars that turn people into food.

Jane: Oh my, that's terrible.

Darren: I know, we all know!

Jane: Don't worry, guys. I have just the thing for your hot dog bun friend.

Darren: Okay.

(Jane looks for something that can change Carrie back into a human.)

Jane: There.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Did you find it?

Jane: Yep.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Whoa! What the heck is that?

Jane: This... is a special bottle of booze that can turn you back into a human. It might taste like crap to you, but I guess that's enough to help you.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Geez. Thank you, miss. I don't want to be a damn hot dog bun forever.

(Carrie drinks the bottle of booze and begins to transform back into her human form.)

Carrie Toh: I'm a human again! WOO-HOO!

(Alex, Darren, and Jane cheer for her. However, as they cheer, the effect on the booze doesn't last forever, and so Carrie transforms into a dog, then into a cat, then into a mouse, then into a rat, then into a raccoon, then into a fox, then into an apple, then into a box, then into a pencil, then into a cake, then into a flashlight, then into a rake, then into a leaf, then into a duck, then into a bear, then into a truck, then into a dollar, then into a car, and then into several other different types of animals and objects, before transforming back into a hot dog bun.)

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Yay! I'm a... hot dog bun again? Wait, what?

Jane: You might want to look at the mirror behind you.

(Carrie the Hot Dog Bun looks at the mirror that is right behind her. She then screams.)

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: OH SHIT!

Jane: Yeah, I forgot. The booze is a work-in-progress type of project that I'm working on. Sorry about that.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Aw shit. If my mom were to see me as, like, a hot dog bun, she's going to kill me!

(Jane escorts Carrie the Hot Dog Bun, Darren, and Alex out of her science lab.)

Jane: Don't worry about that. I'll find something else for the booze I'm working on. Speaking of which, I'm going to continue working on it right now. In the meantime, go back to your homes and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night. (closes the door)

Darren: So, now what?

Alex: I... don't know.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: So, I'm going to be a hot dog bun for the rest of my LIFE?!

Alex: Well, until the scientist finishes working on the booze that can change you back into a human, I'm afraid so.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: Well, shit. Screw this! I'm going home. Good night, Darren and Alex.

Darren: Be careful out there, Carrie! There could be dangers along the way on your journey back to your house.

Carrie the Hot Dog Bun: I will. Thanks! Good night!

(Carrie the Hot Dog Bun walks away as she starts her journey all the way back to her house. Darren and Alex look at each other and shrug.)

Part 5: Carrie Stops to Rest at Shopwell's
(A few hours later, Carrie gets tired of walking as she runs out of breath.)

Carrie: Damn! It sure is a fucking long way back home. I wish I had a place to stay in for one night only, so I can rest and wake up fresh and well-rested tomorrow... (looks at the Shopwell's building) and I know just the place to stay in.

(Carrie walks to the sliding doors, which were locked.)

Carrie: Shit! I forgot! The store is already closed, so the doors are locked. There must be another way to get into the building.

(But then, Carrie discovers a hole in the wall.)

Carrie: Aha! Now there's a way to get inside that place.

(Carrie went through the hole in the wall and stepped inside the store. There, she discovers all of the anthropomorphic foods sleeping on the shelves, with some sleeping in the buckets, and some sleeping in the freezers.)

Carrie: Wow! I've never seen any object with faces, arms, legs, and clothing. Well, gloves and shoes are the only common articles of clothing they wear. (sees Frank and Brenda sleeping together and gasps) Oh... my... God! It's... it's a hot dog sausage and bun couple sleeping together. I don't know what their names are, but that's just weird, even for an object. I wonder if there's an empty shelf to sleep in. (finds an unoccupied empty shelf) Aha! Here's the one. (gets into the shelf) Well, good night, world. (goes to sleep)

(The next morning. Carrie wakes up and yawns.)

Carrie: Good morning.

Foods: Morning.

(Carrie breathes in and out, gets up, and gets off the shelf.)

Carrie: What a beautiful day.

(But then, Carrie looks at the foods and screams. The foods scream back at her and freaked out.)

Carrie: Oh, my God! You're all alive! Who are you?! Don't attack me!!

(Carrie nervously shakes her body and gets down on the floor.)

Frank: We are not going to fucking kill you!! I mean, what the fuck are we? Cannibals? I don't think so.

(Carrie freezes for a second.)

Carrie: Wait, so... you're not going to kill me?

Frank: Nope.

Carrie: Then why are you afraid of me?

Frank: All of us foods freaked out when you saw us and you also thought we were alive, which technically, we fucking are. So, I got some questions for you. Who are you? What is your name? Where the hell do you come from?

Carrie: Well, I'm glad you asked. I'm Carrie Toh, daughter of Camille Toh. I'm a 17-year-old human teenager. Well, I used to be a human teenager, until that moment when I ate the chocolate bar that transforms people into objects.

Frank: No way!

Carrie: Oh, yes way. After eating that chocolate bar, I got this strange side effect from it, and so, I was transformed into a hot dog bun... magically. So, I want to go back to my house, but because I don't want my mom to see me like this, I decided to stay in Shopwell's for a few days or so. Anyways, I'm from Los Angeles, California. Oh, and by the way, I'm an engineer at Shopwell's. I'm also a student at Los Angles High School. I love to hang out with my friends, go shopping, and take care of the store. That is until yesterday when I was...

Frank: Yeah, yeah, we know. You were magically transformed into a hot dog bun. We get it now.

Carrie: Oh, okay. Anyway, there's one more thing I have to say to you. Some people called me by my fucking goddamn foul nickname "Sucky" Toh, which is a fucking insult to me. And that's it.

Frank: Well, thanks for sharing your story with us.

Carrie: (sighs) You're welcome. By the way, who the heck are you? And who are your friends?

Frank: Well, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Frank, and I'm a sausage. This is my girlfriend Brenda.

Brenda: Hi! It's nice to meet you.

Frank: And this is Lavash, Sammy Bagel, Gum, Barry, Carl, Teresa, Firewater, Mr. Grits, Twink, and the rest of the darn foods at Shopwell's.

Foods: Hello!

Frank: Welcome to our home. We're so glad you came here just to get away from your mom, who was the monster that took all of her groceries away, the ones she chose from six months ago, and also, the ones she killed at her house, even Carl, although he is brought back to life thanks to Gum's Recovery Center machine.

Carrie: Hey, it's nice to meet you all, but I'd better get going. I have to get back to my house where my mom is at. I just hope my mom doesn't see me like this. She'll kill me otherwise.

Frank: Wait! Don't go to the outside world formerly known as the Great Beyond!

Carrie: The Great Beyond? What is the Great Beyond?

Frank: Well, as Firewater told me about the Great Beyond six months ago, it was an afterlife for the foods, so as they get purchased by the humans who they thought were gods, they could spend an eternal life there. Unfortunately, the Great Beyond is nothing but a fucking huge fake lie. The real and terrible truth is... once the foods were purchased by the human gods and taken out of the store through its doors and into their homes, the gods kill them and their asses by cooking, smashing, slicing, and even eating them. That is the reason why the Great Beyond was bullshit and it still is.

Carrie: I think it's a bit obvious that when you, along with the rest of the foods at Shopwell's, believe in a lie that was meant to be true but really isn't, you don't know exactly what the hell is going to happen.

Frank: That's exactly the point. Luckily, Barry escaped this kind of tragedy and showed me proof of his own, and so Barry and I, along with the other foods, declared war on humans, thus putting an end to their eating streak. I was hoping you would do the same.

Carrie: Uh... I... kinda chose to... to... uh... (looks at the sliding doors) You see, I want to be a human again. Okay? I... I don't wanna end up living as an object like you guys forever.

Frank: Wait... WHAT?! What do you mean you choose to be a human again over joining us?

Carrie: Didn't you hear what I just said? I eat food! I drink beverages! I use many different kinds of objects! But I don't want to be an object for life!

More coming soon!