Transcript

[opening logos appears]

It’s summer and Grandpa Splaat’s takin' my brother Digital and I on a road trip.

[old car starting sound]

He says we can’t bring cell phones, iPods or laptops.

[falling noises]

We’re going into exile!

[desert sounds]

Grandpa thinks too much technology will suck kid’s brains out.

[slurping sound]

I reminded him I’m sixteen,

old enough to have my drivers license and if I wanna have my brains sucked out it’s legal.

He wasn’t having it, not on his road trip!

We took off at a snails pace with Grandpa at the wheel and everyone honking at us.

[multiple loud horns honking sounds]

Our first stop was a used bookstore.

[birds chirping and quiet outdoor sounds]

I’d never been to one before!

I got a bunch of dusty comic books.

[sneeze sound]

Digital got ripped up skateboard magazines.

[paper ripping sound]

Grandpa bought a torn up Atlas of the U.S. with no cover.

[sparkle sound]

He wouldn’t let us take a camera so he got us books with blank pages.

[pages turning sounds]

I said “How are we supposed to read this?!”

It’s a journal,

you can write and draw in it

like Michelangelo.

[poof sound]

Our second stop was Vegas.

Digital and I stood at the edge of a casino watching Grandpa.

[slot machine sounds]

He lost all his quarters in a slot machine

so instead of sleeping in a hotel, we got downgraded to a motel

[bird cawing and then pooping sounds]

with beds like cement.

[jackhammering concrete sounds]

Next we drove to the Grand Canyon,

walked onto a see through observation platform and looked down.

Digital got dizzy and threw up.

[barfing sounds]

I begged Grandpa to stop at an Internet Cafe.

[skateboarding, dog barking, and neon sign blinking sounds]

I felt trapped in a time warp before the invention of computers.

[warping sounds]

Digital was drivin’ me crazy.

He brought his drumsticks and was bangin’ out beats on the window, the front seat and my head.

[silly banging and crashing sounds]

I finished my comic books and couldn’t write another word in my journal.

I was sick of playing tic-tac-toe with Digital

who, by the way, cheats.

[beeping sounds]

Then we passed a sign that read "Welcome to the State of New York."

[punching and kicking sounds]

Julian, Digital, stop punching and kicking each other!

We’re going to the Big Apple!

[crunch sound]

Digital and I were psyched!

We climbed the Statue of Liberty and rode a subway.

[barge sounds]

[train speeding by sound]

Grandpa bought us skate boards and we went to Central Park for a Splat family reunion.

[skateboarding sounds]

I met a whole bunch of cousins that looked like me!

It was awesome!

[laughing, party sounds]

Grandpa sold his Lincoln and we flew home, back to the future!

[airplane passing sound]

Someone's sending me texts.

[text dinging sound]

I don’t know who it is.

She’s texting things like...

I really really really like you

[text dinging sound]

Having a secret admirer sucks.

I can’t stop wondering who she is.

So I went to the cupcake shop to see if it might be Sara,

the girl behind the counter.

She wears a pink T-shirt that says "Cupcake Daze",

a name tag that spells Sara and a paper cupcake crown.

I stood outside the glass door trying to build courage to go in

and see if she’s the one who texted me.

[heart beating sound]

She never noticed me before.

I finally opened the door.

It made an annoying ding dong sound.

[ding dong sound]

Sara had her back to me.

She was making hot cocoa for a customer.

[milk steaming sound]

When she heard the ding dong sound, she turned and looked straight at me.

When our eyes met...

it was magic.

[magical harp sound]

I knew she was the one who texted me.

Confident, I strutted over there and stood behind the cocoa customer.

They were having a conversation about cupcakes.

Bla, Bla, Bla!

This dude was cuttin' into my once in a lifetime moment with Sara.

Finally, it was my turn.

Sara stood there looking amazing.

Her paper cupcake crown almost sparkled.

[sparkle sound]

I was speechless.

Well…Whaddya want?

We have a big special on two day old Wasabi Mango cupcakes.

They’re not moldy...

yet.

So I said:

I’ll take a fresh baked red velvet with cream cheese frosting.

I was tryin' to impress her.

Wow, big spender.

A dollar, please.

[cash register sounds]

This was my chance so I took it.

How would you like to go to my pal's Zombie costume party Saturday night?

Uhhh, I’m not into Zombies.

That's so fourth grade.

And there’s three customers behind you.

Did you text me?

Text you? Why would I do that?

So I gave her a dollar, grabbed my cupcake box,

turned and walked to the door which made that loud awful ding-dong sound again and slammed shut.

[ding dong followed by door slamming sound]

That was the worst!

I lost the girl, lost my dollar, and lost my pride!

[squishing sound]

So what’s the lesson here?

Don’t fall for girls who wear ridiculous paper cupcake crowns.

I’m headed to the used bookstore now.

There’s a girl that works there

who wears big black glasses and looks really smart.

[choir singing sound]

She sold me a used Harry Potter book last week.

I’ll strike up a conversation about Wizards and Goblins.

I like her hair.

It looks like she’s been in an electric storm.

[thunder and lightning storm sounds]

[school bell ringing]

At school Bobby Werlitzer made fun of me.

He yelled across the lunch table so every one could hear.

Hey! Splaat!

You sound like a frog.

[cackling laughter]

[frog ribbit sound]

It bothered me, I can’t help what my voice sounds like.

All day I couldn’t get what Bobby said out of my mind.

I kept imagining what it would be like to have another voice.

Maybe I’d be more popular and I’d be picked to be the goalie for the soccer team.

[crowd cheering and ball bouncing sounds]

[crowd cheering, yelling "GOAL"]

In Miss Sims Science class

I’d raise my hand and get to answer first.

If I sounded like the guy on the Old Spice commercial,

I would be given enough deodorant to last a lifetime.

[falling sounds]

Now that’s tempting.

Now look over there.

Now over here.

Now back to me.

Now over there.

Now...

Hey you!

Shut up!

When I talk like a tough guy bully, I could cut in line at the movies

and no one would say anything.

[ripping sound]

If I had a proper English accent like the Prince of England

I might get to rule a nation.

[royal music]

So the whole day I walked around talking like different people

with different voices and guess what?

I gave the wrong answer in Mr. Sims' class even though I sounded like Albert Einstein.

At tryouts for the school play,

I spoke in my best British accent for King Lear’s part

and I was picked as the silent court jester!

Can you bloody well believe it?!

When I talked like the Old Spice guy in P.E. class

the guys just threw their smelly deodorant sticks at me.

So the next day at lunch I saw Bobby Werlitzer.

I yelled across the lunch tables,

Hey Werlitzer!

I like my voice and I like being me!

Dude

I dare you to come over here and give me your best animal impressions.

Bobby laughed,

[cackling laughter]

cooly walked across the lunch tables like a stunt man

and jumped down in front of me.

[jumping and landing sound]

I said you go first homes.

And he did.

[chicken bocking imitation]

[crowd booing]

[louder chicken bocking imitation]

Then it was my turn.

[elephant noise]

[crowd cheering]

I won.

That night

Ruby Daniels, the head cheerleader asked me to be her friend on Facebook.

I have a brother named Digital.

I haven’t talked about him because I’m too busy talking about myself...

self... self...

Digital’s 12 years old and annoying!

My dad got Digital a music program for his computer.

We had to sound proof his room.

[swish and pop sounds]

He makes loud crazy music.

One day he came in my room, shoved a CD in my computer and said:

SPLAAAAAT!

What d’ya think about my song?

I’m gonna put it up on You Tube.

So I listened.

It was awful!

In fact he recorded a cat crying and repeated it a million times in the song.

[music with cats crying]

Hey sound guy!

STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

[record scratch sound]

Should I tell my brother his music sound bad, like fingernails scraping a chalk board?

[finger nails on a chalk board sound]

No...

Instead of crushing his spirit,

I pretended to be asleep at my computer.

[snoring sounds]

I needed time to think my way out of this!

I’ve perfected the fine art of not lying...

but not telling the truth either.

I couldn’t take the chance of Digital not talking to me till we’re Grandpa Splat’s age.

[fart sound]

Digital came in my room and screamed!

SPLAAAAAT!

I tried to find you all day at school.

Do you like my song?

Huh?! Huh?!

What’s your problem?

I had an idea!

[ding sound]

I looked at my fish tank behind Digital

and I said to my bro:

I always wanted to make a song with you.

What if you record the sound of my pet fish

[bubbles popping]

and turn down that adorable cat crying like a banshee?

If you don’t take my advice it’s gonna really hurt my feelings.

Digital ran to get his microphone,

recorded my fish and quit bothering me.

The next day he came back and said

[imitating Digital] “How do you like this? I turned down the 15 cat and put in the fish?”

[music with bubbles popping]

Still awful...

So I told Digital,

“Why don’t you go record mom making a smoothie and put that in your song.”

He ran like a flash!

[fast zoom sound]

Helping Digital make music brings us closer but keeps him outta my room.

I got important stuff to do.

[music with a blender sound]

[liquid splashing]

[snoring sounds]

[foot steps]

[slip and fall sounds]

I had a dream last night that I was a superhero.

Do you believe in dreams?

Do you believe that they really mean something?

There I was standing in a cape and blue tights.

[fabric blowing in the wind sound]

I was catapulted back in time to the prehistoric age.

[thunder sound]

[dinosaurs roaring]

There were dinosaurs everywhere.

[dinosaurs roaring]

Tyrannosaurus Rex, the flying ones, all shapes and sizes chasing me.

I ran until I came to a rock mountain and couldn’t escape.

[footsteps running]

[bounce sound]

[crash sound]

It was do or die time.

I turned around and started picking up those prehistoric creatures,

flinging them like baseballs until they disappeared into the atmosphere like dots.

[zoom sound]

[zap sound]

In my dream, I was all powerful.

After I defeated the dinosaurs,

I time traveled ahead to the stone-age.

A dozen cavemen were surrounding me in a cave.

I wrestled 'em all to the ground and rendered 'em helpless.

[sound of bowling pins being knocked down]

I kicked a hole in the cave wall

[rocks smashing sounds]

until I saw sunlight and climbed to safety.

All of a sudden, my alarm clock went off.

[alarm clock beeping and buzzing]

I woke up feeling fantastic, strong and invincible.

So I asked myself.

[beeps and boops sounds]

Does this dream mean I’m really all that,

an all-powerful superhero?

Or that the day old squid and seaweed chow mien that I ate for dinner last night gave me crazy dreams?

[guitar riff]

If you guess the right one you’ll have a real understanding of just who I am.

Because I sure don't. See ya!

[ending credits appears]

[closing logos appears]