A Veritable Smorgasbord

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Lyrics
Gwen the Goose: A fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord

After the crowds have ceased

Each night when the lights go out

It can be found on the ground all around

Oh, what a ratly feast!

Why, a fair has enough disgusting leftover food to satisfy a whole army of rats!

Templeton: Is this true? Is this appetizing yarn of yours true?

Will I find

Melon rinds and bits of hot dogs

Pizza crusts and rotton cotton candy

Melted ice cream, mustard dripplings

Moldy goodies everywhere?

Gwen the Goose: Yes, yes!

Templeton: Lots of popcorn, apple cores

Bananna peels and soggy sandwiches

And gobs of gorgeous gook to gobble at the fair?

Gwen the Goose: Yes, yes, yes!

Templeton: I like high living... what you say tempts me!

Gwen the Goose: It's true. Go to the fair, Templeton. You will find that it will surpass your wildest dreams!

Templeton: You mean tin cans with particles of tunafish stickin' to 'em? Greasy paper bags stuffed with rotten eggs?

Gwen the Goose: Yep, yep, yep. True, true, true!

Templeton: That's enough, don't tell me anymore! I'm going!

Both: A fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord

After the gates are shut

Each night when the lights go out

It can be found on the ground all around

That's where a rat can glut, glut, glut, glut!