Spirited Away (The Private Reviewer)

(Opening title)

(We see the Private Reviewer, in his foul mood.)

PR: Hello, I'm the Private Reviewer. I remember it so you don't have to. (beat) This is my punishment for making fun of Steve Alpert. (beat) It doesn't sound that bad, but have you actually watch Spirited Away?! Of course you just watched it like everyone else did and waited for that spirit to come in and you're supposed to do Miyazaki. That...is only the training to how hard this movie is!

(The scene cuts to Steve Alpert.)

Steve Alpert: Is someone regretting not talking about how awesome I am?

PR: You do know the last time I did anything game related, it totally blew up in my face, right?

Steve Alpert: Yep.

(PR frowns at him for a second thus preparing to watch the movie while muttering under his breath.)

PR: I really hate you right now.

Steve Alpert: Hey, do I need to do a "Death Glare" again?

PR: You know what, try me! I bet I've gotten used to it by now.

(Steve Alpert sharpens his gaze at the Critic, scaring him once again.)

PR: Do-oooohhh! You're like that shaming disapproval of every morbid grandparent!

Steve Alpert: Less talking, more reviewing.

?????

Steve Alpert: I can't remember if it was in the book or not, but when we screened Spirited Away in Japan, every single time when the lights came up in the theater at the end of the movie almost the entire audience was in tears. Every time.

?????