The Christmas Movie/Transcript

Part 1: Christmas in New York City/'Twas the Night Before Christmas
(Netflix logo is shown)

(Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer logo is shown)

(Nat King Cole's The Christmas Song starts to play as the screens opens with the night sky and then slowly zooms down to New York City)

(Netflix presents)

(A Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer presentation)

(A production of the SPA STUDIOS)

(The Christmas Movie)

♪ Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ♪

♪ Jack Frost nipping at your nose ♪

♪ Yuletide carols being sung by a choir ♪

♪ And folks dressed up like Eskimos ♪

♪ Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe ♪

♪ Help to make the season bright ♪

♪ Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow ♪

♪ Will find it hard to sleep tonight ♪

♪ They know that Santa's on his way ♪

♪ He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh ♪

♪ And every mother's child is gonna spy ♪

♪ To see if reindeers really know how to fly ♪

♪ And so I'm offering this simple phrase ♪

♪ To kids from one to ninety-two ♪

♪ Although it's been said many times, many ways ♪

♪ Merry Christmas to you ♪

(The song ends)

Narrator: 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

(Cuts to a mouse sleeping in a hole)

Narrator: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that jolly old St. Nicholas soon would be there;

Welcome to a place I call New York City,

Where the lights and streets are so pretty;

My hometown is the best place to celebrate Christmas,

And here is a story that you shouldn't miss;

(A mailman walks to the Hopefuls' house)

Narrator: Every year, children would mail their letter,

For a toy or better;

(Mailman takes a letter out of their mailbox and then gets in his truck and drives off.)

(Drives to a plane and hands a sack of mail to a pilot and engineer.)

(Plane flies off)

Narrator: Where are all these letters going to?

Well, I'd say it's a wonderful place from a point of view;

Part 2: The North Pole/A Letter to Santa
(A plane drives through a stormy blizzard.)

C-130 Pilot: I'm gettin' somethin' on the sonar!

Engineer: What is it?

C-130 Pilot: Strong reading from underneath the cap rock, sir!

Engineer: Possible oil flow?

C-130 Pilot: Still analyzing.

(Electronic Warbling)

C-130 Pilot: It's uh...Sounds like...Tiny hammers.

(Plane flies over as the screen zooms down to Santa's village and workshop at the North Pole.)

Narrator: Welcome to the North Pole, where the snow falls, a blanket of white,

Transforming the land to a winter delight.

The elves are busy at the shop making toys,

For the good little girls and the good little boys.

(Elves making toys as Santa walks into the factory.)

Narrator: And there's the big boss of the North Pole,

Santa Claus always has things under control;

He has his list that he always checks twice,

to make sure who is naughty or who is nice;

(Santa takes a look at the letters the kids sent.)

Santa Claus: Okay, all right. Here's what we need. Get one more bolt on that flange, and it's ready for Christmas.

Good work, guys. Perfect job on suspension, you guys. Thinkin' outside the box. I love it.

Sarah the Elf: Do you want a cookie, Santa?

Santa: Do I want a cookie? Yes! What's fresh? (sniffs cookie) Ooh! Sweet, just like you.

(An Elf tries to make a toy kangaroo hop, but it couldn't.)

Santa: Tim, let's think. Take the hat off.

(Tim takes off hat and the toy kangaroo hops.)

Santa: Too much counterweight.

Tim: Thanks, Santa. You're the man.

Santa: That's why they give me the big belly, so I don't fall over! (laughs)

(Santa goes to his office and sees a letter and reads it.)

Santa: "Dear Santa, my brother thinks you're not real. He always questions on how do something that is impossible. I still believe in you. And I was wondering, why do older kids stop believing in you? - Ben Hopeful"

(Santa grabs a paper and pencil and writes down a letter.)

Santa: (While writing down) Well, it just happens. Sometimes other kids tell them and sometimes they figure it out on there own. When a child is satisfied with this, even if they start to have doubts, they may not be ready to stop believing. But eventually, they will learn that Christmas is about helping others, giving selflessly and being thankful for what you do have and not what you don't.

(Zooms out of Santa's workshop)

Part 3: The Big Snowbrawl
(Cuts to a school and children running out.)

Kid (offscreen): School's out!

(Ben walks out)

Miss Clark: No running! Feet are for walking! Merry Christmas, everybody! See you next year!

Student (offscreen): Merry Christmas, Miss Clark!

Kid: Hey, Ben!

Ben Hopeful: Hey.

Other kid: Have a great vacation, Ben.

Narrator: Yup, that's me over there. If there's any person who enjoys Christmas the most, it would be me, Ben Hopeful.

Easter was good and Halloween was fun,

But Christmas for me, is the one;

Anything Christmas related is a delight,

What I like to do fun is a....

Kid: Snowball fight!

(Ben runs to the playground where the kids are having a snowball fight)

Dougie: Ben!

Tuck: All right, The brain's here.

Ben: What's going on?

Holly Coleman: The seventh graders have us pinned down.

Dougie: And now they've pulled out the heavy artillery.

Ben: Come on, man. How bad could it be?

Seventh graders: ...2, 3! Launch! (launched a big snowball with slingshot)

Ben, Holly, Dougie, and Tuck: (Got hit with the snowball) Unh!

Seventh graders: Yeah! Whoo!

(The kids get back up)

Ben: What was that?

Seventh grader (offscreen): Bull's-eye!

Dougie: We tried to tell you!

Ben: Troy Burnes.

Holly: Alexander!

(Alexander is hiding behind snow fort while the older kids are trying to throw snowballs at him.)

Alexander: Unh!

Holly: Ben! Ben! You got to help him!

Alexander: Holly! Help!

Troy Burnes: Heh heh! Eat snow, you little wieners.

Seventh graders: Yeah!

(Seventh graders launch another snowball and the kids get hit)

Ben: All right. Huddle up. Come on. Remember what we learned in history class, right?

Holly: Yeah. (looks at Dougie and Dennis)

Dougie: No.

Tuck: Not really.

Ben: Ugh! If you want to stop an army, stop the general.

Dougie: You're gonna take on Troy Burnes?

Ben: Trust me, Dougie, all right? You draw their fire.

Dougie: Yeah. OK.

Holly: Be careful out there.

Tuck: Good luck, man.

(Seventh graders keep launching and throwing snowballs.)

Troy: Fire!

(Ben hops on his sled as he rides down and then crawls quickly into a crawl tunnel.)

Troy: Get him!

(Dougie runs to the middle of the field.)

Dougie: Hey! I dare you to hit me!

(Seventh graders throw snowballs at Dougie.)

Dougie: (As he gets hit) Ow! Ooh! Aah!

Troy: Load me up!

(Ben runs to the snowford where Alexander is.)

Ben: You all right?

Alexander: No.

(Dougie taunts the seventh graders as they keep throwing snowballs at him.)

Dougie: Come on! Give me your best shot! You can do better than that, can't you?

(A snowball hits him so hard.)

Dougie: Oh! (falls on a whirl spinner) Okay. That was a good one.

Ben: Go, go, go! Run!

(Alexander runs while Ben stays behind.)

Seventh grader: Wait! (accidently knocking a kid over)

Other seventh grader: Whoa! (trips on slingshot making it miss it's target)

Holly: Come on, Alexander!

Troy: What'd you do that for, butthead?

Seventh grader: Look. That little twerp is getting away.

Tuck: Run like the wind, Alexander!

(Alexander makes it to safety)

Holly: Are you Okay?

(Troy adjust his snowboard)

Troy: I'll take care of this one myself.

(Ben sees Troy shredding down to him)

Kid (offscreen): Hold your fire!

(Everyone stops)

Other kid (offscreen): Troy is ticked!

Troy: Well, well, well... little Ben Hopeful. Hanging with the second graders now? (grabs Ben by the scarf)

Ben: Get off, Troy.

Troy: I got a present for you. (grabs a pile of snow to make a snowball)

Boy: Nail him, Troy!

Ben: Good, I like presents. (Holding a snowball behind his back)

Troy: Can you say brain freeze?

(Ben hits Troy with a snowball)

Troy: Oh!

Ben: Brain freeze.

Tuck: Way to go, buddy!

Dougie: All right, Ben!

Troy: This isn't the end of it, Hopeful! (slips and falls) Whoa!

(Kids all start to laugh)

Holly: Oh, yeah! Way to go!

(Kids continue laughing)

Troy: SHUT UP!

(Everyone stops laughing)

Ben: Hey, you OK?

Alexander: Yeah.

Ben: Good man.

Holly: Thanks, Charlie. You're the best.

Ben: No problem.

(Bobby Helms' Jingle Bell Rock begins to play)

Holly: See you next year, Ben.

Ben: See you, Holly.

Boy: Good job, dude.

Other boy: See you later!

♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock ♪

♪ Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring ♪

♪ Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun ♪

♪ Now the jingle hop has begun ♪

♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock ♪

♪ Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time ♪

♪ Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square ♪

Ben: Hey, Chester.

♪ In the frosty air ♪

Ben: Come on, boy, we gotta go pick up Patrick from school.

♪ What a bright time, it's the right time ♪

♪ To rock the night away ♪

♪ Jingle bell time is a swell time ♪

♪ To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh ♪

♪ Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet ♪

♪ Jingle around the clock ♪

♪ Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' feet ♪

♪ That's the jingle bell ♪

♪ That's the jingle bell ♪

♪ That's the jingle bell rock ♪

(Cuts to Patrick's school as the song ends)

Part 4: Basking in the Warmth/No Such Thing as Santa
Cad: Okay, for my Christmas Show and Tell, I brought something that's truly full of magic and wonder.

(In close-up, he rises a dirty bag into view.)

Miss Ford: How lovely, Cad. You've brought a bag of... (Moans while lifting up her glasses) What is it?!

Cad: Okay, well, last Christmas Eve, I put out a plate of Cheese Nips for Santa, right? (snorts, reaching into bag) And then next morning, this was all that was left!

(On "this", he produces an orange, square-shaped treat wafting with green smoke. Cut to a close-up of it, chunks of junk spread across.)

Cad: Behold, the magic of Santa!

(This only gets him a round of disgusted responses from the students as the scene cuts to behind his head and they react – from all but Patrick, who raises his hand. This shot exposes garland strands on the bulletin boards, and several paper snowflakes and candy canes are spread out on the side wall.)

Patrick Hopeful: Uh, excuse me, Cad, but um...how do you know your parents didn't eat the Cheese Nips?

Cad: (chuckles, snorts) My parents' on a high fiber, low Cheese Nip diet.

Patrick: Miss Ford, can we have some clarity on this very nebulous and highly speculative issue of Santa Claus?

Miss Ford: Patrick, stop being such a Mr. Logic Head and learn to enjoy Christmas. Maybe I can teach you how using the magic of song.

Patrick: (nervously) Uh, that's okay. You don't have to...

(She holds out a pitch pipe on the end of this, and blows into it as a musical note comes out and floats toward the screen, spinning slowly. One round end gets close enough to change the scene to black, after which walls and a Christmas tree come in. Pan over to a decked out fireplace as the fire is lit; Miss Fowl slides in, sitting in an armchair as a mug falls into her hands and she squawks happily.)

Miss Ford:                        ♪ There's a glow by the fire ♪

♪ As I sit and perspire ♪

♪ I'm cozy and snug ♪

♪ I sip from my mug ♪

♪ Basking in the warmth ♪

♪ Of Christmas Day ♪

(Another squawk; at the same time, fire blazes upward, dissolving to Cindy and Libby in the former's bedroom.)

Clara, Lexi:                      ♪ We get gifts from relation checks ♪

♪ And big denominations ♪

Clara:                                  ♪ Laptops and things ♪

Lexi:                                  ♪ Gadgets that ping ♪

Clara, Lexi:                    ♪ Basking in the warmth ♪

♪ Of Christmas Day ♪

(Cut to Patrick in the classroom leaning against his desk; the lights are off, save for one spotlight shining on him.)

Patrick:                                ♪ These feelings that you speak of are subjective ♪

♪ All I want is something that is real ♪

(Pan quickly to Cad sitting on his desk, two other kids dance nearby, and he holds a folded chain.)

Cad:                                 ♪ Christmas joy should be your one objective ♪

(He unfolds it to reveal a chain of paper llamas; Gene pops into view and shows an eel biting his right wrist.)

Gene:                                ♪ Last summer I was bitten by an eel ♪

(Cut to the students, who get a big scare.)

Students: Huh?!

(Back to Gene; he grabs the edge of the screen and pulls it, wiping to an ice cream in the ice cream bar. He holds a carton of ice cream and tosses one scoop to each kid, one hits a girl in the head.)

Ice cream man:                                  ♪ Kids eat treats in profusion ♪

♪ They need treats for their choosing' ♪

(In town, a police officer and his assistant catch a boy spraying the wall with green spray paint.)

Officer Tubs:                     ♪ The punks spraying' walls ♪

Other Police officer:         ♪ Their hearts all aglow ♪

Both:                                ♪ Basking in the warmth ♪

(Close-up of the boy, he sprays the screen.)

Of Christmas Day

(At the same time, wipe to Patrick standing on a chair in front of the chalkboard, which bears several holiday-themed equations and a crudely drawn picture of Santa trying to squeeze himself into the chimney.)

Patrick:                               ♪ Your answer's more elusive than it should be ♪

♪ I run into this problem every time ♪

♪ How could a guy that fat fit down a chimney? ♪

                             (spoken) How could he survive the arctic climb?

(He folds his arms on the end of this, and the scene zooms out as the chalkboard rises like a curtain, revealing a snowy stage backdrop. Cad and Gene spin Patrick's chair around and guide him out of frame, and the other students dance past. The snowman decoration slides forward and poses; snow falls, transitioning the scene to outside the school, where Miss Ford and a few students dance a bit. Behind them, a wreath hangs on one window.)

Miss Ford, Students:       ♪ Happiness is the reason ♪

♪ We delight in the season ♪

(A disbelieving Patrick folds his arms as the students dance around him; a decked out tree stands in the background behind him.)

♪ Logic is fine ♪

(spoken) But don't waste our time

♪ (singing) We're basking in the warmth ♪

Patrick: I can't concur!

(Cut to Miss ford and a few students sitting on a snowy ground, the first on her knees, the rest on their backs; zoom out in two dissolves to reveal the students are lying on the ground, shaping a Christmas tree. Maggie and another girl lie on either corner, making snow angels.)

Miss Ford, Students:        ♪ Basking in the warmth ♪

Patrick: (offscreen) But where's your proof?!

Miss Ford, Students:       ♪ Basking in the warmth ♪

♪ Of Christmas Day ♪

Song ends (Miss Ford squawks at the same time.)

(Back to the classroom, the lights are back on; the students are back in their seats, and Gene returns to his.)

Gene: That was fun! (He reaches under his chair and gets out a pair of maracas.) Now, let's do a hot salsa number about Arbor Day!

(He shakes them a bit)

Patrick: Excuse me, but you guys still haven's answered my questions. (He walks over to Carl.) Cad, how can a man with a 50 inch waist length fit down a standard 20 inch chimney?

Cad: Well, uh...

Patrick: How could Santa have survived for over 500 years, in an environment of -20° Celsius?

Cad: Um...uh...

Jimmy: I submit to you that there's one thing you should know, what if there really is in fact no such thing as Santa Claus?

(The ending of his question throws a huge amount of shock into the head under his hair; zoom in to an extreme close-up of the bespectacled eyes as they protrude around a bit.)

Carl: N-n-n-n-no Santa? (Lets out a dismayed scream and then hops out of his desk and runs off)

(Offscreen The next two lines overlap each other.)

Student 1: Patrick, what is your problem?

Student 2: What'd you do that for?

Lexi: Nice going, Patrick.

Clara: You always ruin everything.

Patrick: Don't tell me you all believe in Santa.

Lexi: That's not the point! You didn't have to hurt Cad's feelings!

Patrick: Well, I – I didn't mean to, I'm just looking for some straight answers here! I...I guess I'll just have to look somewhere else.

Part 5:
Coming Soon

Part 6:
Coming Soon

Part 7:
Coming Soon

Part 8:
Coming Soon

Part 9:
Coming Soon

Part 10:
Coming Soon