WWIII News Report

WWIII News Report is an ad for WWIII parodying CNN.

Transcript

 * Frederick Talarican: I am Frederick Talarican, reporter here, with a guest star, my boss, Douglas Artur. So, Mr. Artur, how does it feel on CNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-
 * Douglas Artur: Alright, can you just get to the point for me?
 * Frederick Talarican: Yes, how-
 * Douglas Artur: Did you call me MR. Artur?
 * Frederick Talarican: No, I-
 * Douglas Artur: I AM GALLANT ARTUR, NOT MR!
 * Frederick Talarican: Yes, I meant to say that. So, M-, uh, Gallant Artur? How did you build the Orbitron?
 * Douglas Artur: I got my Shock Soldiers to build it using their grit, spit, and a whole lot of sh-
 * Frederick Talarican: Yeah, you cannot finish that sentence on a news network!
 * Douglas Artur: You say THIS is an actual news network? THIS IS AN ACTUAL NEWS NETWORK?
 * Frederick Talarican: Yes, Nobleman Artur, this is-
 * (Artur pulls out his Psychokinetic Scimtiar and starts chopping up the room.)
 * Douglas Artur: YOU ARE THE BIGGEST LIAR I HAVE EVER GROWN TO KNOW!
 * Frederick Talarican: Wait, wait, WAIT? What if I told you that-
 * Douglas Artur: YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA BE A CORRESPONDENT, NOT A CNNNNN-
 * Frederick Talarican: CNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN does have real news, sir-
 * Douglas Artur: BUT DO THEY HAVE DIGNITY!?!?!?
 * (Talarican is speechless.)
 * Douglas Artur: I knew it!
 * (Artur uses psychokinesis to lift up and destroy even more stuff in the room.)
 * Douglas Artur: YOU JOINED A NEWS AGENCY FULL OF DOPPELGANGERS OF REPORTERS!
 * Frederick Talarican: Look, they will be real mad at you once they hear-
 * Douglas Artur: THEY WILL NOT HEAR OF THIS!
 * (Artur explodes more objects in fury.)
 * Frederick Talarican: Okay... this is Journalist Frederick Talarican, signing out.
 * (WWIII logo appears)
 * MPAA Voice: Rated PG-13.