Adventure Time and the Angry Video Game Nerd/Transcript

(Warner Bros. Pictures, Universal Pictures, Cartoon Network Studios, Frederator Studios, Bron Studios, and Film 44 logos start. The scene cuts to the Nerd in his room.)

The Nerd: (to the audience) What you're about to see is another Nerd movie from July 2014. Now after I reviewed ET for the Atari 2600, I thought it might be funny to do one on ''Adventure Time. Now, um, Adventure Time ''ended on September 3rd 2018 as a special episode for Labor Day and Cinemassacre will be able to have an Adventure Time movie to be rated R as it marks the first R-rated animated film by Warner Bros. Animation. After Frost and Fire, fans have been asking Cartoon Network to get Finn and Flame Princess back. You know without really forcing it, so I held off on releasing it for a while, and some new images were added in later, but now I think that the fans should see it. You want to see it, right? Yeah? So, just keep in mind, I'll review Pirates of the Enchiridion on the Nintendo Switch and I'll make sure it has to be good. And most important, just don't take it too seriously. Enjoy the movie.

(The scene cuts to black and fades to the Badlands as the credits read "Warner Bros. Pictures and Universal Pictures present", "in association with Cartoon Network Studios and Frederator Studios and Bron Creative", "a Cinemassacre/Rideback/Vertigo Entertainment/Film 44 production" and "a Peter Berg film". The text reads "The Badlands, Land of Ooo, four years after the Gum War." and fades. Dr. Gross lives with Tiffany Oiler after they survive from an explosion.)

Dr. Gross: I don't know why you're suddenly so against me, Tiffany.

Tiffany Oiler: Yeah, well, I trust Finn and Jake, and they have a better understanding of what's wrong or right than either of us. They're my friends, that's why.

Dr. Gross: Well, I never thought they had a better understanding of what's wrong or right than eihter of us.

Gumbald: (In Dr. Gross's head) At last. You survived from an explosion.

Dr. Gross: Of course I have. What do you want from me?

Gumbald: Dr. Gross, I know what I want. I have been every voice... (as The Lich) ...you have ever heard... (as Evil Guy) ...inside your head. (Normal voice) The Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters was just the beginning. I shall give you so much more.

Dr. Gross: You're defeated.

Gumbald: I've been defeated before. I was the leader of the Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters during the Great Gum War, for which I have lost... four years of my life.

(Dr. Gross and Tiffany Oiler turn around and see Gumbald.)

Dr. Gross: What could you give me?

Gumbald: Everything. A new Empire. (Bandit Princess, Ash, Samantha, Ricardio, Me-Mow, Pete Sassafras, Peace Master, Sir Slicer and Scorcher appear and walk to Gumbald) The might of the Final Legion will soon be ready. It will be yours if you do as I ask. Kill the human, end the humanity, and do what your own cyborg plan could not. You will rule the Land of Ooo as the new empress. But beware. He isn't who you think he is.

Dr. Gross: Who is he?

Gumbald: Finn PG-8-7 Mertens.

(The scene cuts to black and shows montage of episodes of Angry Video Game Nerd and Adventure Time while the song plays "The Angry Video Game Nerd Theme" by Metallica during the opening credits then the title appears and says "Adventure Time and the Angry Video Game Nerd." The song ends and the scene fades to black then fades up to the Nerd who looks at "Adventure Time: The Complete Collection" on DVD.)

The Nerd: I have a confession: I totally missed out on the Cartoon Network craze. First, a little background, I already talked about the cover of Super Duper Sumos on Game Boy Advance. But I didn't know at the time, this was based on the Super Duper Sumos show, now I missed out on all the other Cartoon Network shows that everybody talks about like Regular Show, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, The Amazing World of Gumball, and, yes, Adventure Time. In 2010, Adventure Time was one of the greatest television shows of all time. Every Monday, we got a new Adventure Time episode. I can see why everybody liked it. It revolutionized 2-D animated show, the same way Dexter's Laboratory did. The characters were good, the music was kick-ass, the setting was cool, and the voice-acting was awesome. Seemed liked the only thing bigger than the show, was its stars, Finn and Jake. Finn and Jake were basically reminders of Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca. You thought Luke had a Wookie? Finn and Jake go on cool quests and meet new friends like Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, eventually, the Ice King and even Flame Princess. Oh, and villains. They also fight villains. Can't forget those. Adventure Time's popularity took the world by storm. It became the cultural phenomenon that ran through ten seasons. Its fame transcended the show and it ended up being on the cover of magazines. I'm not kidding. It also had toys at McDonald's, commercials on Cartoon Network, and even a Minecraft episode! Seems like the world was obsessed with Adventure Time! All these years while I've been busy playing shitty games, people have been making episodes through 2018. I'm not sure why I missed all the Adventure Time episodes. So what do you do with the show like that? Well, turn into comic books, of course! Adventure Time. Today, there were actual toys, clothing, and even a Monopoly game. So, of course, there had to be video games on Xbox, PlayStation, and even Nintendo. That's right, they also made video games based on the show by its creator, Pendleton Ward. So, how did one of the best shows of all time get made into video games? Come to think of it, it's amazing that the Cartoon Network shows got turned into video games. Ed Edd n' Eddy: The Mis-Edventures, Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion, Cartoon Network Battle Crashers, and FusionFall. I'm gonna focus on Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion for the Nintendo Switch. (Doorbell rings) Who could that be?

(The Nerd walks to the door, opens it, and sees his longtime friends Bootsy Spankins, P.I., Cooper, Mandi, and Kevin Finn. The Nerd screams joyfully along with Bootsy, Kevin, Mandi, and Cooper. Mike, April, Gina, Kyle Justin and Keith Apicary see The Nerd, Bootsy, Cooper, Mandi and Kevin who scream with delight then they scream.)

The Nerd: Everyone, this is Bootsy, Kevin, Cooper, and Mandi! They used to work with us!

Bootsy: Hey, Mike. It's been a very long time. (Chuckles)

Mike: Yes, Bootsy. It's very good to have you back.

Cooper: Anyway, let's just say we're having a reunion party.

The Nerd: Yes, Cooper. We're having a reunion party. I brought my estate agent and my lawyer.

Mike: Wait, you have an estate agent and a lawyer?

The Nerd: Yes. This is Archibald Carter and Stephen Simmons.

Mr. Carter: Mr. Rolfe, it's great of you to have me and Mr. Simmons invinted.

Bootsy: Good day, Mr. Carter and Mr. Simmons.

Mr. Simmons: Oh. This is Bootsy?

The Nerd: Yes, he used to work with us.

Mr. Carter: Hmm. Very interesting. All right, Mr. Spankins. (Gives Bootsy one bottle of 7 Up) Time to chug 7 Up down, and be the winner.

Kyle Justin: Hey, did you just quote the first Transformers movie?

Mr. Carter: Hmm, maybe.

Kyle Justin: (Chuckles) Good one, Carter.

(The Nerd's cell phone rings and the Nerd answers it as he turns on the video call.)

The Nerd: Hello?

Finn: Hey, Nerd. This is Finn Mertens, the human who got shown up by Cinnamon Bun many years ago. Pleasure to meet you by the way.

The Nerd: Oh. Hey, Finn. It's really good to meet you for the first time. Come on, Finn, you gotta get over her. Flame Princess is just a queen. Besides, she's in love with Cinnamon Bun. And even if it had worked out, would you really want fire babies? Ugh. Gross. I mean, wait a second! Are you telling me that you're in love with Huntress Wizard?

Finn: Uh-huh.

The Nerd: So you mean that you just wasted the best years of your life?

Finn: Absolutely, but I'm afraid I have some really terrible news.

The Nerd: Really? What's the terrible news?

Finn: The humans luckily arrived to Ooo from Founders Island after I turned the Guardian off. This is the photograph where we have a photo group with Jake, my mom and humans. (Shows the photograph of the humans with Finn, Jake and Minerva) And this was four years ago. (Shows another photograph of the humans being attacked by Bandit Princess as the Nerd gasps in horror) It gets worse, Nerd.

(A video plays where a man calls for help while a woman runs around)

Man: There's only two of us left! We need help!

(A woman screams and gets pulled away by a rope then Bandit Princess laughs evilly then attacks a man and a video freezes.)

The Nerd: Who the fuck is that?

Mike: Holy shit.

Finn: It appears to be Bandit Princess who survived GOLB from the Great Gum War.

The Nerd: Gumbald's Legion? Oh, no. This could only mean one thing. Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters survived GOLB, and they're getting revenge on you and your family.

Finn: This is what worries me mostly.

(A video plays where Dr. Gross, who survived an explosion, has a plan to capture humans and humanoids then the video stops.)

Finn: Dr. Gross also survived, too.

The Nerd: Oh, my God.

Finn: If they turn humans and humanoids into a cyborg army, the Land of Ooo will eventually become a land of cyborg and mechanical cities and I'll never marry a single girl.

The Nerd: Not the humanity! I've gotta destroy Gumbald's Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters. But how?

Finn: Well, I think you, Mike, Kevin, Bootsy, Mandi, Cooper, Kyle and Keith may come to Ooo if you have to destroy Gumbald's Legion. If you destroy his legion, you save the Land of Ooo so I can ask Flame Princess to marry me. And one more thing, a goblin sent a message to me from the Goblin Kingdom, and it confirms the worst. (Sighs) Somehow, Gumbald returned.

Bootsy: Wait, do we believe that?

Kyle Justin: It can't be. Gumbald is defeated.

Kevin Finn: I know who turned Gumbald back to life. Bandit Princess took the Punch Bowl Guy, cloned him, captured Lumpy Space Princess, and brought him back to life.

Finn: He's been planning his revenge. His followers have been building something for years. The largest army Land of Ooo has ever feared. He calls it the Final Legion. In 16 hours, attacks on all free kingdoms begin. Gumbald and his army have been hiding in the Unknown Continents on a world called Terra.

The Nerd: Hold on. Terra doesn't appear on any island chart. But legend describes it as a hidden world of Gumbald.

Finn: Of course it does. Now come over to the Land of Ooo. Pronto.

The Nerd: Sure, Finn. I'll be over to Ooo. ASAP. I'll see you there. (Hangs up)

April: Are you sure you'll be okay with this on your own, James?

The Nerd: Yes, I'm sure about this. We'll be back from Ooo. Take good care of Gina. She's the growing baby.

April: I'll take good care of her, James.

The Nerd: Kevin, Kyle, Mike, Bootsy, Mandi, Cooper, Keith, come on. We've got work to take care of.

(The Nerd, Mike, Kevin Finn, Kyle Justin, Bootsy, Mandi, Cooper, and Keith Apicary walk to his video game room. At his video game room, The Nerd opens the door and stand on the floor.)

The Nerd: All right, guys. It's gaming time! (Holds an NES controller) Nintendo Power!

Mike: Atari Power!

Bootsy: PlayStation Power!

Kevin Finn: Sega Power!

Keith Apicary: TurboGrafx-16 Power!

Mandi: Xbox Power!

Cooper: Tiger Electronic Wristwatch Game Power!

Kyle Justin: Neo Geo Power!

The Nerd: To the Land of Ooo!

(They teleport to the Land of Ooo as Dr. Gross's rocket arrives at the Grass Plains then the scene cuts to the meeting as Dr. Gross puts a goblin head on the table.)

Dr. Gross: We have a spy in our ranks who just sent a message to Finn. Whoever this traitor is won't stop us. With what I've seen Gumbald, the Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters is about to become a true Empire. I sense unease about my appearance, Bandit Princess.

Bandit Princess: About the skin? No, ma'am. Well done.

Ricardio: I like it.

Sir Slicer: Forgive me, ma'am, but these allies on Terra... they sound like a cult. Conjurers and soothsayers.

Ash: They've conjured legions of Kingdom Destroyers. The new cannons will increase our resources 10-1,000 fold. Such range and power will correct the error of the Great Gum War.

Samantha: We'll need to increase recruitments. Harvest more of the Land of Ooo's young.

Sir Slicer: Those cannons, what are those, such gifts? What's he been asking in return?

(The rope strangles Sir Slicer as he chokes.)

Dr. Gross: Prepare to crush the kingdoms that defy us. Tiffany and I are going hunting for PG-8-7 Mertens.