Gumball's Arrested Development/Transcript

Narrator: Now the story of a weird family who lost a regular ol' DVD, And the two sons who had no choice      but to keep it all together, It's Gumball's Arrested Development.
 * Nicole: Gumball, don't forget to take that DVD back today or we'll get a fine.
 * Gumball: Can't you do it? You're the one with the car.
 * Nicole: I wasn't the one who watched Alligators on a Train seventy-two times.
 * Gumball: Ah! But technically, you rented it with your money.
 * Nicole: The money I have to go and earn to feed you kids.
 * Gumball: The kids you decided to have.
 * [Nicole angrily punches a hole in the door]
 * Gumball: [Nervously] Yep! No problem Mom, I'll take it back!
 * Nicole: [Picks up the laundry basket and carries it upstairs] Oh, very kind of you honey. And don't forget to put on some pants. Bye-bye.
 * Gumball: [Glances down at his pants-less legs, sighs]
 * Narrator: He walks into the kitchen and guess what he saw?
 * Gumball: Darwin, have you seen that DVD anywhere? I-- [Realizes Darwin is using the DVD to cut the pizza] DARWIN! What are you doing?!
 * Darwin: I'm using the pizza cutter.
 * Narrator: He isn't.
 * Gumball: [Irate] That's not the pizza cutter! That's the DVD! Oh, gimme that! [Grabs it away from Darwin, seeing that it is covered with cheese] Aw man, you really have to be careful with these things. [Takes a scrubby sponge off the sink and starts wiping the DVD, unknowingly using the scouring side] The slightest scratch, and they're ruined. Forever.
 * Darwin: Uh, Gumball...
 * Gumball: [Interrupting] Ap-ap-ap. I am fed up with your carelessness, Darwin. This disc utilizes laser technology. You have treat it with respect.
 * Darwin: You're using the wrong side of the scrubby sponge.
 * Gumball: [Realizes what he is doing, sees the DVD all scratched up, and screams, throwing it into the air. It rolls around the sink basin before falling down the drain, where it is destroyed by the garbage disposal. He begins to cry] Noo! No! What are we gonna do?!
 * Darwin: Face the consequences of our actions and tell mom?
 * Gumball: [Stops crying] Don't be silly. I've got a much better idea.
 * Narrator: Earlier, he didn't know what they can do. Which is stupid.
 * Darwin: [Panicked] Dude! It's a letter from Laser Video!
 * Gumball: [Nonchalant] Ah, so what? Put it with the others.
 * Narrator: This is why Gumball and Darwin were putting in the fake cardboard DVD.
 * Gumball: Man, you say that, but I lost my trousers three weeks ago, and still no one's noticed. [Starts walking away very awkwardly in the stiff cardboard pants]
 * Darwin: Everyone's noticed that walk, though.
 * Gumball: Really?
 * Darwin: You look like you went to the bathroom in a spacesuit.
 * Darwin: No, this one's red! It means urgent!
 * Gumball: Red envelope or red writing?
 * Darwin: [Looks at the envelope closely] Red writing on red envelope. It's really hard to read actually. [Opens the envelope, reading the note inside as Gumball sits up in concern]
 * Narrator: It says they have to pay twenty-five dollars for the DVD.
 * Gumball: AH! What are we gonna do?!
 * Darwin: Face the consequences of our actions and tell mom?
 * Gumball: No-no-no-no-no. Just give me a little time to think.
 * Narrator: Two days later...
 * Darwin: It took you two days to think of this?
 * Gumball: Less complaining, more begging. How much have we got anyway?
 * Darwin: [Rifles through the change in their hat] Like three dollars?
 * Gumball: Great. Twenty-two more, and we can pay for the DVD. Now pinch me. We get more when it looks like I'm crying. [Darwin pinches his arm, causing him to tear up]
 * Hobo: The reason you guys are on the streets is to pay a DVD fine?
 * Gumball: Yeah, I know. It's crazy, right? People don't understand how hard our life is.
 * Narrator: Then, a hobo appears stealing their money and beatboxing for it.
 * Gumball: Yes!
 * Darwin: Yay!
 * [The Hobo swipes the money and walks into the store]
 * Gumball: But...
 * Darwin: That guy stole our cash!
 * Gumball: [Sighs] Well Darwin, sometimes in life you have to realize that there are less fortunate people than ourselves. He needs that money more than we do.
 * Hobo: [Leaving the store; his arms raised in the air] Woo-hoo! I won! I spent your money on a scratch card, and now I'm a millionaire!
 * Gumball: That's great! So, can we have our four dollars back?
 * Hobo: [Pretends to check his pockets] Oh uhh, s-sorry, guys. I-I don't have any, any change. [Walks away, the sound of numerous coins jingling in his coat; Gumball sighs]
 * Narrator: He was lying and they didn't know.
 * Machine: You have eight new messages.
 * Larry: [Through the answering machine] Hi, Laser Video Here -- [Darwin skips the message] Hello, it's Laser Video, we -- [Skip] You need to bring back --  [Skip] You need -- [Skip] to bring -- [Skip] the film --  [Skip] back to the shop. [Skip] Ha ha, I knew you were trying to skip my messages.
 * Narrator: What is he? A psychic or something?
 * Darwin: Gumball, I think we need to get a job.
 * Narrator: He asked him if he cooks, drives, and speaks Chinese and this is what he said:
 * Darwin: No.
 * Gumball: Can you provide inspirational leadership to a core team of thirty people, covering both national or international markets?
 * Darwin: Mmm, no.
 * Gumball: [Excited] Wait, how about this one? "Looking for a person with no skills or training to serve as a scientific subject for the cosmetics industry."
 * Darwin: What does that mean?
 * Gumball: It means they'll put makeup on us and see if it looks nice.
 * Darwin: [Gasp] Kind of like modeling?!
 * Gumball: Yeah.
 * Darwin: I've always thought I'd make a good model.
 * Gumball: What makes you think that?
 * Darwin: High cheekbones.
 * Gumball: There are bones in there? [Pushes his hand into Darwin's cheek. It goes in past his wrist before it hits something] Oh, huh. There are.
 * Narrator: So, Gumball's allergic to face paint, like Tobias.
 * Darwin: [Admires himself in the mirror] Hey, that's not bad! Looking good. [Screams as he sees Gumball] What happened to you?!
 * Gumball: [His face is badly swollen] I think I'm allergic. [Sucks back some saliva] How come you look so good?
 * Darwin: I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with my... [Strikes a pose] Perfect skin.
 * Gumball: I think I'm gonna get this off. [Wipes his face with a cloth, causing both the makeup and his eye to smear] What happened? Why am I looking at the floor?
 * Cupcake Woman: Okay, boys. So how did the tests go? [Screams as she sees Gumball]
 * Narrator: This should be a good idea for a horror movie.
 * Gumball: I can't believe she only gave us five bucks. It cost more than that to get home on the bus. [Struggles to open the door, because there is now a huge pile of letters behind it] Huh? Oh man! More letters from Laser Video! Oh, we are in so much trouble. We have to hide these before mom gets home.
 * [The phone suddenly rings, and Gumball goes to answer it]
 * Gumball: Yes?
 * Nicole: Honey, are you in trouble? Because my mother senses are tingling. I can smell trouble.
 * Gumball: Trouble? [Chuckles nervously] No, we're fine. Absolutely fine. No trouble here, bye.
 * Nicole: Are you lying?
 * Gumball: [Laughs] Oh, no, of course not.
 * Nicole: Right. You're lying. I'm coming home now.
 * Gumball: Mom's on her way home. Now.
 * Darwin: [Gasps] What should we do? Should we tell the truth and face the consequences of our actions?!
 * Gumball: What is it with you with and tryin' to be honest all the time? No! We need a copy of Alligators on a Train. I know. I'm gonna download it.
 * Darwin: [Gasps] Gumball! You wouldn't steal a car! You wouldn't steal a woman's purse! You wouldn't steal a cell phone! Piracy is stealing!
 * Gumball: I know. I'm... I'm so sorry.
 * Darwin: Anyway, I got a better idea.
 * Gumball: [Speaking quickly] Is it stupid, desperate, and very unlikely to get us out of this mess?
 * Darwin: [Also speaking quickly] Yes.
 * Gumball: Is it humiliating?
 * Darwin: If we get it wrong.
 * Gumball: Are we likely to get it wrong?
 * Darwin: Possibly.
 * Gumball: In the time it's taking me to ask you these questions could you have just told me what it is?
 * Darwin: Definitely.
 * Gumball: Should we get on with it then?
 * Darwin: Yeah, we better.
 * Narrator: So, the chase was on... and off.
 * Gumball: [Panting] Stop the letters! Stop the letters!
 * Larry: [Looks up from a newspaper] Ah... The Wattersons. It's about time you showed up. I assume you have my money?
 * Gumball: Better than that, Larry. We got the DVD.
 * Larry: I hope you don't mind if I make sure it's real. Last time it was a piece of cardboard.
 * Gumball: Heh, go for it.
 * [Gumball and Darwin wink at each other. Larry loads the DVD into a DVD Player. The screen cuts through static to an obviously homemade version of the movie. Darwin's hands are seen holding a cardboard sign with "Alligators on a Train" written in crayon]
 * Darwin: Alligators on a Train. [The movie cuts to Darwin, wearing a fake mustache, standing in front of a cardboard alligator and a cardboard train backdrop. The backyard fence is visible through the train windows] OH NO! There's alligators on this train! [Darwin is shown "fighting" the "alligator" for a while, then he wipes the sweat off his brow, before saying his next line. The alligator, however, is still in the background] Thank goodness we got all the alligators off this train.
 * [The scene then changes to the backyard, where the sun is setting. Gumball and Darwin are standing with their backs to the camera, their arms hugging themselves]
 * Gumball: [Feminine voice] Thank you so much for saving us from all the alligators on this train. [Kissy noises]
 * [The movie then shows a list of credits, almost all of which are credited to either Gumball, Darwin, or "cardboard"]
 * Narrator: But it turns out... it was fake.
 * Larry: [Turns to Gumball and Darwin, unimpressed] This had better be a joke.
 * Gumball: Aw man, what gave it away?
 * Larry: Dude, it's five seconds long and every name in the credits is one of you two.
 * Darwin: [Whispering] I told you we should have put some other people on the credits.
 * Gumball: [Whispering] What? And let them have all the glory?
 * Larry: Well there's no way I can accept this. You need to give me the real DVD now!
 * Gumball and Darwin: [Sobbing] We can't! We used it to cut a pizza, and then we scratched it with the wrong side of the scrubby sponge, and then we threw it in the waste disposal! Please don't tell our mom!
 * Nicole: [Standing right behind them] I already know. [Gumball and Darwin scream] How much is the DVD, Larry?
 * Larry: Twenty-five dollars.
 * Nicole: WHAT?! You made me leave work and chase you through the neighborhood on a dog for twenty-five dollars?!
 * Gumball: But... But we were scared to tell you.
 * Nicole: Oh, silly... There's nothing you can do that will ever stop me loving you. Come here. [She hugs her sons] Now, let me pay for that.
 * Gumball: See Darwin, you should always tell the truth and face the consequences of your actions.
 * [Darwin looks surprised, then punches Gumball in the arm]
 * Gumball: Ow!
 * Nicole: Come on. Let's go home, you little troublemakers.
 * Larry: [Stopping them] Uh, just a minute. There's also the lateness fee.
 * Nicole: Oh yes, of course. How much is it, please?
 * Larry: Let me see. [Calculating] Three months and three days late. That will be seven-hundred dollars.
 * Nicole: [Chuckles] You see boys, sometimes in life you really have to face the consequences of your actions. And sometimes you just [Suddenly grabs Gumball's hand] RUN!
 * Larry: Hey, hey, HEY!
 * Narrator: On the next...
 * Gumball: What the what?!
 * Narrator: Gumball and Darwin babysit Anais...
 * Anais: Ow! What are you doing?
 * Gumball: Seventy-nine percent of stair accidents happen on the stairs.
 * Anais: What does that even mean?
 * Gumball: It means you're safer sitting here.
 * Narrator: ...while Nicole and Richard attend a PTA meeting.
 * Richard: Uhh, I feel like I'm in one of those dreams. The ones where you go to school naked.
 * Nicole: Oh, come on, Richard, stop being so dramatic. We're the parents now. There's nothing she can do to you.