Aaron Apocalypse/Transcript

This is the transcript to the 2008 film Aaron Apocalypse.

Scene 1: Intro
* Lionsgate logo (2005-2012)* * Legendary Pictures logo (2006-2010)* * Regency Enterprises logo (1994-2016)*

* Marvel Knights logo (2008-)*

* 5 seconds of a black screen*

LIONSGATE ENTERTAINMENT AND LEGENDARY PICTURES PRESENT

IN ASSOCIATION WITH REGENCY ENTERPRISES AND MARVEL KNIGHTS

AARON APOCALYPSE

* fades back to a black screen* Narrator: Long ago,

* A bolt of lightning crashes and makes a loud thunder sound, revealing a house*

Narrator: there was a little house in a cornfield near the forest. In that house lived three children: a boy named Judas, *shows Judas* a girl named Edna, *shows Edna* and a boy named Aaron, the youngest of the three. *shows Aaron* And his life in the little house was very bad.

Scene 2: Aaron's Awful Life
* Aaron is walking down the hallway*

Edna: Hey Aaron!

Aaron: Yeah, sis?

Edna: You forgot to get your life today. Oh wait, you don't have one!

Aaron: Shut up!

Edna: No, you shut up!

Aaron: You shut up!

Edna: You shut u-

Judas: BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR ELSE IT'S WHOOPING TIME!

Edna: Can you whoop Aaron? He's an asshole.

Judas: Okay! Time to whoop Aaron!

Edna: Yeah! Take that, Aaron!

* Judas kicks Aaron in the groin*

Aaron: Ow! *falls on the floor*

Judas: Right in the nut sack! My favorite! Take that, you little piece of shit!

Edna: Yeah! Aaron is a loser!

Aaron: I wish you guys realized that I was a good person.

Narration: Aaron didn't like living with 3 siblings. So he ran away.

Scene 3: Aaron Runs Away
* sad music starts to play*

* Aaron runs downstairs to the door*

Aaron's Mom: Hi Aaron! Ready for bre- wait, where are you going?

Aaron: I'm leaving. For good.

Aaron's Mom: But why?

Aaron: Because I'm sick of being mistreated by my siblings.

Aaron's Mom: Well...

Aaron: Yeah?

Aaron's Mom: I'm gonna miss you, sweetie.

* Aaron stands in silence, then tears come out of his eyes*

Aaron: Me too.

* Aaron runs up to his mom, then hugs him*

* Aaron's Mom kisses him twice*

Aaron's Mom: You'll always be my son.

Aaron: And you'll always be my mom.

* they stop hugging*

Aaron's Mom: Goodbye.

Aaron: I wish I was treated better here.

Aaron's Mom: Well, sometimes, in life, you don't always get what you want.

* Aaron heads out the door and heads out to the forest*

Aaron (in head): I forgot to say thank you. I FORGOT TO SAY THANK YOU!

Aaron: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* camera pans from far into the forest to the house*

* Aaron pants weakly, then cries*

* Aaron turns back to the forest and continues running*

Scene 4: Present Day
* It cuts to present day as Aaron is driving in a car humming to Back in Black. Suddenly, a cannibal jumps up, and Aaron grabs a shotgun and shoots it.*

Aaron: Goddamn cannibals. Always wanting to eat people's flesh.

* He continues driving until he finds some sort of town*

Aaron: Well, look at that. I found civilization. Who am I gonna kill ne-

* car flips over and falls on the bottom*

* airbag pops out*

Aaron: Thank God I survived that.

* cuts to Aaron walking on the sidewalk*

* Ali runs near Aaron*

Aaron: What do you want?

Ali: Hi! I'm Ali. And I'm here to give you some important information!

Aaron: Whatever it is, it's wasting my time. Get out.

Ali: But... we can be partners in crime!

* The music stops and everyone stares at the sky*

Aaron: What the fuck is going on?

Ali: I don't know, but IT DOESN'T LOOK SO GOOD!

* a laser beam hits an apartment, causing it to topple down*

Stan Lee: Hey! That was my apartment!

* cuts back to Evil X*

Evil X: Alright! Time to destroy the city because... quick! Lemme think of the most generic movie villain trope! Oh YEAH! Because I'm EVIL!

Aaron: Seriously. That is the most OVERUSED excuse of all time. Because he's "evil". Seriously? Come on, man! Have a reason!

Evil X: Uhh... YOU! Wearing the Punisher shirt! W... with the switchblade! What is your NAME?

Aaron: Um, Aaron? What's it to you?

Evil X: You have disrespected me and my kind.

Aaron: What? The generic "evil" bullshit? So what?

Evil X: It means you shall be damned upon in the society of... you know what? I'll take over Frith another day.

* Evil X's machine turns around and walks back, causing him to step on cars and destroying them*

Aaron: I hate that guy already.

Scene 5: Anya
Ali: That was incredible, Aaron! You REALLY talked him out of being evil!

Aaron: Really? My satirical side was incredible?

Ali: Yeah! I can't imagine how many fourth walls were broken!

Aaron: You DO realize you just broke some more, right?

Ali: Yup. My bad.

* cuts to a back alley*

* Anya is surrounded by criminals*

Anya: Okay criminals, you GOT me. Oh nooooooo. I am SOOOO scared right now. I think I might have actually... um, whatever. Go ahead and do your shit.

Aaron: They won't do your shit, but I will.

* Aaron leaps up and slashes every single criminal with his blade*

Anya: *in a suggestive voice* Oh! Who are you, handsome, strong gentlemen? *feels Aaron's arm*

Aaron: Believe me. I'm not strong. I was picked on when I was younger.

Anya: *in a suggestive voice* Oh, you poor thing!

Aaron: And I'm not a poor thing either. I just killed a bunch of people.

Ali: And will you please stop speaking in that voice?

Anya: FINE. I will stop speaking in my fake voice.

Aaron: Anyways, what's your name?

Anya: I'm Anya. You're Aaron, right?

Aaron: Yeah. That's me.

Anya: I've heard... interesting things about you before.

Aaron: What? About my shitty ass siblings?

Anya: Yeah. I feel bad for you.

Aaron: Well, I mean, it's fine, and I got over it and all, but... okay, you know what? I have NOT gone over it. *takes out his Blade* And I am NOT gonna let some random woman help get over my sorrow. *gets closer with blade pointing at her throat* Because my life story is FAR worse than any of your godawful sob stories, OKAY? *blade pointing right next to her throat*

Anya: Stop it! You're... gonna kill me! I almost had a heart attack.

Aaron: Get used to it. You're coming with us.

Scene 6: Evil X & Evil Y
* cuts to Evil X & Evil Y's headquarters*

Evil X: Okay, we gotta load up on weapons now.

Evil Y: On it!

Evil X: Let's see... cynical behavior stopped us, so we gotta DO something to that Aaron kid.

Evil Y: Okay! What are the ideas?

Evil X: Um, we can... KILL his father!

Evil Y: Yay! Great idea!

Evil X: Now let's get a move on!

Evil Y: Wait! Let's stalk on him first.

Evil X: Ooooooooooooooooooooh! Great idea!

* Evil X and Evil Y hack into the traffic cams and see his car driving*

Evil Y: Now zoom in.

* zooms in*

Evil X: THAT'S HIM! WE GOT HIM! YES! YESSSSSSSS!

Evil Y: But how are we gonna take him down?

Evil X: I know EXACTLY how...

* fades to next scene*

Scene 7: Sad, Sad Times
* shows a city view of Frith*

Ali: So what's it like being a hero?

* camera cuts to Aaron, Ali and Anya*

Aaron: Hero? What? I ain't no hero!

Anya: Well, you just saved an entire city, handsome- I mean glorious- I mean, (in a suggestive voice) hero.

Aaron: Still ain't no hero! But... how do you become one?

Ali: Ha ha! Look! This dumbass is asking about how to become a hero when he already IS one!

Anya: That's not nice, Ali! Apologize!

Aaron: Here we go.

Ali: Sorry, Aaron. Didn't know dipshits like you were so sensitive.

Aaron: 'THAT'S IT! '*gets out his blade* Looks like we're having sliced Ali for dinner.

Ali: Whoa, man! Stop!

Anya: Yeah, Aaron. It was just a joke.

Aaron: Then why did you act like it wasn't?

Anya: Because... BECAUSE I WAS FROM AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD!

* Aaron and Ali stop*

Aaron: You were... what?

* Sad music starts to play*

Anya: I was from an abusive household.

* The camera moves to the right to a building where everything is black, then moves right even more to a house where Anya grew up*

Anya (narrating): I was beaten up and bullied by my older siblings.

* cuts to Anya's bigger brother and Anya when she was younger*

Anya's Brother: Want me to rip apart Mr. Stuffy?

Anya (younger and crying): No! Don't rip him apart!

Anya's Brother: Well, ''TOO LATE! ''*rips apart Anya's teddy bear*

* Anya is screaming and crying at the same time*

Anya (narration): I got so mad I wanted to run away from all this hatred and sorrow.

* The flashback stops*

Anya: But earlier today, I found you, Aaron. And you showed massive heroism to the criminals trying to steal my purse.

Aaron: Yeah, but can I add to that?

Anya: What?

Aaron: I was... bullied by my siblings too when I was younger.

* Shows younger Aaron being beat up by Judas*

Aaron (narration): I will never forget the time where my older brother, Judas, was beating me up.

* Shows Younger Aaron running away*

Aaron (narration): Like you, I wanted to run away. So I did exactly that. But even though I had a piss poor life in my place, I really missed my mother and father.

Aaron's Mom (in flashback): You'll always be my son.

* Flashback ends*

Anya: I... I'm really sorry, Aaron. I just...

Aaron: It's OK.

* Anya puts her hand on Aaron's shoulder*

* Sad music ends*

Ali: If you two can stop telling your sob stories, we have a team to set up.

Scene 8: Assembling the Team
TBD