What Not To Do While You're In The Middle Ages

Ever After Fable is an American-Canadian 3D computer animated fantasy adventure comedy film.

Tag lines:

From the creater of The Phoenix Defenders!

Fairy Tales Aren't Just For Everyone!

Summary

Cast

Debby Ryan as Jace Knight, the main protagonist

Katy Perry as Goldilocks,

Jamie Chung as Snow White,

Seth Green as Atticus,

Spencer Boldman as Gunter,

James Franco as

Garrett Clayton as Jack Spriggins,

Taylor Swift as Cinderella, the titular character from the tale "Cinderella". Her real name is Ella of Carrier.

Tobey Maguire as

Coco Jones as Red Riding Hood, Her real name is revealed to be Elizabeth Scarlet Rose Johnson II

Cuba Gooding Jr. as The Magic Mirror,

Jane Lynch as Queen Grimhilde,

Ice Cube as

Whoopi Goldberg as Red Riding Hood's spunky paternal grandmother

Kate Higgins as Adriana,

Kath Soucie as Linda,

Grey Griffin as Jacqueline,

Lex Lang as Sir Wallace, a rich nobleman who refuse to acknowledge Cinderella as his own daughter as he condemns and blames her for the death of his first wife and even forced her to become a servant of his own house.

Quotes Linda:You look wonderful.
 * Adriana: How do i look?

Cinderella:(dryly)Yes and all you need now for the perfect ice cream sundae look is to have a little umbrella sticking out of your head. Jace Knight:Look, i get your concerns, but i'm sorry. What can i say? I guess i have a thing for midgets.
 * Adriana: No one asked you Cindy.

If she's marrying the dwarf, I am not going to be her bridesmaid. Jace Knight:Well mom, you're wasting more time shouting that you are driving to...wherever you're going!
 * Mildred Knight:(yells) JACE FRANCINE KNIGHT! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! STROLLING AROUND NEW YORK, I SUPPOSE! YOU'LL MAKE ME LATE, YOU KNOW!

Mildred Knight:Jace, i don't have time for this and it's none of your business of where i go and why.

Jace Knight:This is a date, isn't it?

Mildred Knight:Jace, you don't understand.

Jace Knight:You don't just have dinner with your children and your boss, go out with him again the very next night and not expect me to assume this.

Mildred Knight:It's not like that.

Jace Knight:(shouted) But it is! You think you can replace dad!

Mildred Knight:(shouted) DON'T YOU DARE SAY HIS NAME UNDER THIS ROOF! (took a deep breath) Edgar is bathing and Shadow is asleep in his kennel. Supper is in the oven, take it out in exactly ten0

Jace Knight:I got it. I know how to take care of myself. I'm eighteen. I'm not a child anymore, you know. Jace Knight:Why?
 * Mildred Knight: Shut up Shadow!
 * Mildred Knight:Sorry Jace, that one's mine.

Mildred Knight:(sternly) Because i'm the parent and i said so. Cinderella:Yeah, whenever you freaks let me.
 * Linda:Ugh, don't you ever take a shower?

Dorienne: What did you just say?

Cinderella:I said i can only take a shower whenever you freaks let me.

Dorienne: That's what i thought. (slaps Cinderella across the face)

Cinderella rubs her red, swollen cheek

Cinderella:Jeez, sorry. The dwarves, however, just gave her blank looks.
 * Snow White Look midgets, I've been wandering around lost in the woods and haven't eaten anything with nutritional substance since last week. You think we could cut the chat until after you've given me something to eat? (snapped her fingers)

Atticus:We don't eat.

Edmund:Yo! Why do you think dwarves are so friggin' short?

Snow White: I was assuming it was genetics! Gerald:What?
 * Snow White: Gerald?

Snow White:Not you moron, I was talking to Charming here.

Gerald:What that thing? But it's so ugly. You sure it's charming?

Snow White:Uh Gerald, what are you doing here?

Gerald:Live here stupid.

Prince Charming:By the way, why have you got no hair? And why are you wearing a stone tube top?

Snow White violently slapped him

Snow White:Just hurry up and rescue me already!

Prince Charming:Uh...Actually Mattie, your stepmother offered a reward for your recovery. Three full hours on the royal gaming system and unlimited pizza of my choice. Sure mom, which room number is Grandma Lulu in again?
 * Honey! I have something for you to take to your grandmother!

Actually sweetie, Grandma Lulu was in process of rewriting her will eight now. I was thinking that you could take these to your father's mother.

But she loves way out in the middle of the woods. Aren't you concerned about my safety?

Don't worry darling, i'm sure that we didn't put you through all of those years of karate for nothing. You'll be fine.

But i didn't take karate, i took ballet.

He wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

Jace Knight:Look, i get your concerns, but i'm sorry. What can i say? I guess i have a thing for midgets.

Red Riding Hood:If she's marrying the dwarf, I am not going to be her bridesmaid.

Transcript

Adriana! Linda! Come down here! You too...Ella.

Curtsey.

Adriana and Linda bends their knees while bowing their heads. Noticing that Ella didn't do the same, he glared at her.

And you! Curtsey!

Ella immediately curtsey, causing her to receive glares from Adriana and Linda.

Not bad...for a servant. to Adriana and Linda) The messenger just came. He invited the two daughters of ours to attend a ball that Sir Charming's son will be holding. Rumor is that he shall chose a bride from the upcoming ball. The ball is on his twenty first birthday.

I thought that was in a few months.

It is.

We're going to marry Sir Charming's son, We just know it!

Adriana and Linda:Of course you will. But i need you two to be nice to Gerald Charming. to Ella with a cold look) And don't try and take him from my own daughters or you will wish that you had never been born.

Ella:Like i wanted to marry an arrogant son of a random nobleman. Maybe he and the girls would be a perfect match. Hey, i can see that now! An arrogant son of a random nobleman with two ditzy girls. Kind of a funny image.

Ella...when one of your stepsisters marries Sir Charming's son...we have decided this will be yours. This manor and this acre of land. Since, of course, we'll be above you, it doesn't matter anymore since the two of my beautiful daughters will own much of this area.

Of course, you have to do something for us. If you do not persuade our darling nobleman to marry one of us, you will receive the worse treatment that you can ever imagine.

We must get you two girls ready. Oh and something else we must tell you. We have invited him over for dinner tonight.

Ella, you shall attend the meal as a lady in waiting.

(mentally) Damn! I had to get out this this! (not mentally)But Father, I do not wish to distract him from Adriana and Linda. I wouldn't speak to the nobleman's son but wouldn't the noble family think of this rude for not speaking?

Fine. You won't be anywhere near the dinner table tonight. I shall say you are busy with other matters.

Father, can i go ride in the fields? I promise i won't cause any trouble.

Fine, Just don't be in sight.

Adriana: Gerald, is it true you are the best sword fighter in all of Fable?

Gerald Charming:No, sadly i'm not. I still have much to learn but i suppose i am good at it.

Linda:But you m

Lady Camilla:My, you look so much like your dear mother. You have everything but her eyes, child. She had magnificent green eyes. I remember being envious of her eyes.

Ella: Yes, i wished i had her eyes. I heard from many people that they were very stunning.

Ella:Hey! I'm not going to be your son's bride, so don't even try!

Cinderella! Cinderella, wake up this instant!

Adrina and I have been observing you, Cinderella. We have seen things. Like the way Gerald looks at you, the way he smiles... the way the whole Charming family favors you, even those twin brats! We even know that the mother of the family favors you.

And You're too much of a problem, a distraction, to Gerald and we will not have him distracted.

But how? How could we sneak away the girl Gerald so openly loves?

We thought of it...pondered of it. And-

Ella:Excuse me? Um...just a quick question, then you can continue. What happened with the door? It was opened. Err... yeah...

Because instead of waiting for Lady Camilla to get the man, we got ourselves and got him to open the door. Now, shut up and listen.

Ella:Err...okay?

nodded towards, continue if you please.

And we hatched up a fool proof plan to get you away. We wanted, of course, Clover to help, since she seems a bit close to you, but we doubted she would. We also thought of asking your handmaid, Megan; soft enough to control, easy enough to manipulate.

Ella:Soft? Easy? Megan? More like now abusive used to be sweet Megan.

But we decided against it. No, we were going to use someone already on our side. someone who would already help us.

Oh Lord, the deed. I'm going to die, I'll never have food to eat again. Oh no, Oh no, Oh no.

Priscilla here is going to help us. She holds a special dislike for yoy.

Ella:Why?

Because your stupid godmother. Yes, I know you have one. But we'll speak no more of the matter. Let us continue.

Yes, well, we'll have to tell Ella if this is going to work. turned to CinderElla CindeEella... Priscilla is my fairy godmother now. I don't need a watcher fairy because Priscilla is already here, always watching over me.

Now, you might be confused. Let us make it simpler. We want you eliminated, out of the way. Priscilla is a fairy. We want Gerald...doesn't matter who, at least one of us. You stand in the way. Priscilla is a freaking fairy. (grin widened) Understand?

Ella:Death? Priscilla the fairy godmother is going to kill me! Calla, get over here, I'm going to be murdered!

What?

Ella:You're...you're going to kill me? Death! Death! Death! Ah!

Of course not, you idiot. We're going to disguise you. You see, our handmaid just arrived except we sent her away, disguised as a lady...disguised as you. She's pretending to be you and is ill. We couldn't send you, no. What id someone looks for you and finds you? So we're going to disguise you. As a servant. Our servant.

And i would agree to this because...?

Because we have this. And if you do no agree, Ella...we're gonna burn this right in front of your very eyes.

Do we have a bargain, Ella?

Ella's eyes began to widened as her dark brown hair was transforming to red hair with loose curls and lengthening. She grew a bit smaller than her normal self.

What?! She's...pretty...

WHAT IS GOING ON?

She isn't bad on the inside, you know. Her inner self isn't hideous. I managed to only change her clothes to a servant's attire, however.

This can't be happening. We want her hideous! With a scar on her face, a large nose or something more gruesome!

Linda:Cinder Cindy.

Andriana:Oh i know, what about Cinderella!

Now go, Priscilla has all of your belongings sent back to your father, to make it look as if you really left and my handmaiden has left her trunk of clothing. now get out of my sight. And out of our way to Gerald Charming, our soon to be future husband.

Priscilla: What are you forgetting something, my dear?

Wincing, Ella turned around and curtsied.

Ella:(in a sad voice, and her voice has changed) Yes...milady.

As she left, her head hung and the threesome laughed at her defeated state. And when she entered her room, she cried.

Adriana:Can we have a walk around the gardens?

Linda:My and my sister find them to be beautiful.

Ella:(whispers)Come on Gerald, fight. Don't go anywhere near them.

However Gerald did the opposite as he gently smiled at the stepsisters.

Gerald Charming:Of course.

Then they began walking away, him smiling at them and throwing Ella a hidden triumphant look. Ella froze in her work, staring after the three. Tears pricked her eyes but with them came a wave fury.

Ella:How could he...how could he just...and with them...the garden, the place of which he told me the story...

You may leave Gerald; I shall tell her of her rescuer once she awakes.

Gerald Charming:And to have a random maid faint at the thought of a noble saving her? No, please omit my part in any of this...I don't need another fan girl. (sighed and runs his hand through his hair) However, i best be off. Father wishes to discuss some matters.

Gerald Charming:Hey, you are the maid that ran into the door! (Ella stared at him)Oh don't worry, i won't tell anyone. (Ella remained silent, causing Gerald to frown) Why not speak maid?

Snow White eventually settled down in a foreign country where she became the originator of the gothic movement and married a woodcutter, but drove him crazy with her depressing lunacy and chronic air headedness. The magic mirror was swept up and melted down, later being used to make a new mirror with a phobia of women in their forties. Red and Jack had a successful first date after Jace had become queen, and they continue to be one of those nauseatingly sweet couples to this very day. Red's grandmother continued to live out in the woods after she got a new security system which included an illegally smuggled lion and a rifle. Red's mother had stopped baking once and for all when a french bakery was built right next door. She also gained forty pounds.