Marvel Spotlight (Marvel;Re)/Deadpool: A Man of Culture

Deadpool: Man of Culture is an issue in Marvel Spotlight.

Synopsis
Deadpool here, just read the damn comic! I am not going to bother to spoil the plot.

Transcript
The issue begins with Deadpool in a chair smoking a pipe and petting a cat. It cuts to immediately after Gwenpool rejecting Deadpool as he is angry. Deadpool hums and marches into the Daily Bugle. Robbie Robertson comes. He jumps out of the window as Betty Brant gives a soft tear. It cuts to Deadpool in his apartment as suddenly someone knocks. He answers to see it to be Professor Thorton. Kestrel appears behind Deadpool and whacks him. Deadpool is unphased by the attack. He shoots Kestrel as he screams and dies. He drops a comic book and runs off. Deadpool shrugs and grabs it as he gets sucked into it. He then sees three giants standing over him. The figures are revealed to be Jacky, GazzaB9 and Coolot1. He rips off his suit and puts on a bikini as he dances to Hit or Miss. He snaps as Deadpool disappears, setting up his appearance in issue 4 of X-Men. The issue ends with the words "Ymum" replacing the panel.
 * Deadpool: Greetings low lives of the internet. It's your favorite fucking bitch Deadpool. This scene is non canon to Marvel;Re as I am just saying that kids get the fuck off this page because this is not for fucking kids, two this is after Gwenpool but before X-men issue four and three if this issue introduces a status quo change, I will wear a strapless bikini and dance to a Tik Tok song. Well now to the actual story.
 * Deadpool: Fuck! She left! Now I am roommateless and now I have to pay full rent! Why the hell did I try to get her to be my sidekick?! I need to find a roommate... but how? OH WAIT! NEWSPAPERS EXIST!
 * Deadpool: I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE!
 * Robbie: What the fuck do you want?
 * Deadpool: You control the newspapers, right?
 * Robbie: Yes...
 * Deadpool: I need you to publish an ad.
 * Robbie: What if I say no?
 * Deadpool: Then I will shoot you dead.
 * Robbie: Fine... I will.
 * Deadpool: Good. Because I didn't want to cause a status quo change this early. Sorry about the disturbance guys! At least I didn't accuse you guys of being Skrulls like Mr. J did! See ya!
 * Betty: I liked that window...
 * Deadpool: Who are you?
 * Thorton: Professor Thorton? You forgot who I am?
 * Deadpool: YOU DON'T HAVE A HOUSE! THE HEAD SCIENTIST OF WEAPON X DOESN'T HAVE A HOUSE?!
 * Thorton: I'm not here for the house. I'm here for you. Kestrel, knock this bitch out.
 * Deadpool: You know I can't die. But...
 * Deadpool: (to the readers) THIS IS NOT A STATUS QUO CHANGE BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN DEAD IN EARTH-616!
 * Thorton: .....You killed Kestrel.... you monster! You inhuman monster!
 * Deadpool: Says the one who experimented on various people and tried to kidnap me.
 * Thorton: You left me no choice... I am summoning the destroyer of worlds. You will suffer a fate worse than death!
 * ???: NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
 * Deadpool: Oh no... I know where I am...
 * Coolot1: You are in our eternal court waiting punishment.
 * Deadpool: What did I do? And who the fuck yelled nyaaaah?
 * GazzaB9: You caused a lore change...
 * Jacky: And I said Nyah, muffu.
 * Deadpool: Kestral died in Earth-616.
 * Coolot1: But he didn't in Marvel;Re.
 * GazzaB9: Now you have to face your punishment.
 * Deadpool: What is it?
 * Jacky: First, Coolot write a flimsy excuse for Kestrel to be alive. As for you Deadpool, you said something about doing a tiktok dance in a bikini?
 * Deadpool: Can I do anything else?
 * GazzaB9: You can rot in the depths of never being used again.
 * Deadpool: Fine. I'll do it.
 * Deadpool: Happy?
 * Coolot1: Yes. Now I will randomly insert you into an X-Men arc and give you a plane.
 * Jacky: Should we discuss-
 * GazzaB9: Shhh.... we don't want to give the future arc away.