Nostalgia Critic - Frankenweenie (transcript)

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NC (vo): Victor runs after him. But as Sparky is about to return to the field, he's hit by a passing car and dies!

(devastated, [like Ferngully 2 compared to him], Victor looked in horror, he won't impulsively run forward into danger but the parents gripping him)

Victor: NOOOOOOO!!!!

NC: Oh. That was, like, Victor Frankenstein version of “The Lord of the Rings.”

(the footage is slowed down while a snippet of “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” plays over Gandalf's "death" scene with Frodo restrained by Boromir)

Victor: NOOOOOOO!!!!

(Victor watches at the grave side, devastated. His Mom and Dad give him a quiet moment to grieve)

NC (vo): Sparky is given a somber funeral at the New Holland Pet Cemetery, which...Victor, I guess, who is still distracted by Sparky's demise.

(Mom and Dad sit on the edge of the bed, trying to comfort Victor)

Victor's mother: They just move into a special place in your heart.

Victor: I don't want him in my heart. I want him here, with me.

(as Victor’s sadness remains as we travel through in the car on the way to school and finally in the classroom', 'unable to concentrate, he doodles pictures of Sparky in his notebook and barely listens to the lecture)

NC (vo): Victor says, "I wanna bring him back to Sparky's life, so can I". Her first order of the plan business?

Mr. Rzykruski: Even after death, the wiring remains. Watch as the muscles respond to the electricity.

(Mr. Ryzkruski places the frog onto his desk and begins to hook an electrode to its leg.)

NC (vo, as the child; high pitched voice): Eww! What the hell that frog kept her alive?!

(NC is disgusted)

NC: (as Victor) That's the worst dead animal that makes when it electric.

(Victor looks back and forth between Mr. Ryzkruski’s demonstration and his doodle of Sparky. An idea.)

NC (vo): So, Victor had a Grinch-like awful idea, immediately draws crude lightning bolts around the doodle.

(Victor rushes to home, Victor collected the furnitures to set up into the attic)

NC (vo): As the plan for saving Sparky's revival, Victor sneaks home, past his parents, and up to his room. He collects various bits of electrical equipment from around the house, telling him her mother don't even notice in the afternoon.

NC (vo): That night, Victor sneaks into the cemetery, and digs up Sparky's remains. When the cat perches on a gravestone.

(as the cat, like "Coraline", screeches at Victor!)

Louis (from Pet Sematary): Fuck off, hairball.

(back to the attic, Victor places Sparky on a platter and raises him up through the attic skylight. Mr. Burgemeister watches in disgusted curiosity as Victor lets fly a trio of kites into the storm. One by one the appliances start to whir and come alive. Victor watches as lightning strikes near Sparky's body. Victor then begins to hoist Sparky up through the sky light.)

NC (vo): Before Victor can give her Sparky's dead body, though...and by the way, yes, we figure out what it was going to be...he steps in to constantly show Sparky kept him alive.

'''Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (from Young Frankenstein):''' Give my creation... LIFE!!!

(The metal table finally reaches his resting spot under the swing set. Now all he can do is wait. He watches the storm intently, silently urging Zeus' thunderbolts to strike.

NC (vo): So, yes, Victor watches weren't pointless enough in this, they will offset dead dog body with Sparky alive instead of death edition. (as Zeus) The gift of life is deadly thine!

(Victor hugs Sparky's remains, and feels his tail move)

NC (vo): To make things even dumber, Victor's idea to give Sparky raise her alive.​​​​​​​

(Sparky comes to life, still halfwrapped in the blanket)

Victor: You're alive.

NC: WHAAAA?!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It's alive, it's alive!

(Sparky wags his tail with glee, until it falls off)

Victor: I can fix that.

NC (as Sparky, voice over by Gollum (from The Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit) voice): Yeah, me too, my precious VICTOR!

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THE END

Channel Awesome Tagline—Victor: (spoken in slow motion, then fades out) NOOOOOOO....!!!!