Ian Anderson/Season 1 Script

This is the first Season of the Comedy Cartoon Ian Anderson, it premiered on July 1, 2023

The Grimace Shake

 * Ian: (Looks at phone) What's this grimace shake?
 * Phone: (Ian clicks the youtube short)
 * (The Short Plays)
 * CG5: I just got the grimace shake!, ooh that sounds delicious!, do you want the grimace shake?, yes! it's so nutricious! Happy Birthday Grimace! (Glitches into a scene where CG5 is dead with Grimace shake all over)
 * Ian: Nice fad, but i won't try the grimace shake, not because of the fad, but because it has 75 grams of sugar, and that's just the medium shake.
 * Becky: Hey Ian., Is that the grimace shake trend i saw at TikTok?
 * Ian: Yes, that's the shake.
 * Becky: I Heard That it's causing fake deaths.
 * Becky: But i get why they pretend to die though, they pretend it's something cursed beverage XD
 * Becky: also, what amount of sugar again?
 * Ian: 75, and that's only the medium variant
 * Becky: I guess i won't try it, it's too sweet. blech....
 * Ian: Yeah, I Know.
 * TBA
 * Zoey: Guys, The grimace shake is safe, those people who are seen dying are just staged!, haha! (drink shake), see guys!, it's safe, the deaths are just fads, a- (she pauses for a few seconds, then falls over, dead)
 * Kevin: OH MY GOD!, Zoey died from the grimace shake!, but who killed her by giving her the grimace shake?
 * Mariane: McDonald's makes the-
 * Kevin: I Know Marshall that it's McDonald's, i'm talking about the specific person who gave her the shake!
 * Vincent: Damn, this the first time i saw someone actually dying from the Grimace shake
 * Becky: Please Zoey, you're faking that death, right?
 * (Zoey can't respond because she is actually dead)

No More Pride

 * Amana: Hey babe, guess what today is?
 * Caitlyn: July?
 * Amana: Yeah, just be careful of.... (Gets a bit nervous) discrimination?
 * Caitlyn: Okay babe. ;)
 * TBA
 * Pedro: What does a lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend?
 * Amama: (getting angry) DON'T SAY IT.....
 * Pedro: Se ya next month
 * Amana: (a little mad) well that could have been more offensive.
 * Pedro: What did you expect?, Racism?
 * TBA
 * Amana: But i thought we were getting descriminated!

Monday Left Him Broken

 * Phone: (Plays TikTok)
 * Cat: Monday Left Me Broken..., you se-
 * Owen: Aw hell naw, not this sh** again...... (Scrolls)
 * TikTok: Monday left me broken...
 * Owen: HELL NO! (Scrolls)
 * TikTok: Monday left
 * Owen: GOD DAMN IT!
 * TikTok: Monday Left Me Monday Left Me MONDAY LEFT ME BROKEN
 * Owen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH STOP!!!!!
 * TBA
 * Owen: LEAVE ME ALONE MIKEY! (His Mind Shows the meme) AAAUUGH! (He thinks is again about the meme, MONDAY LEFT ME BROKEN- YOU SE) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHh!!!!!!!
 * Mikey: What the hell Owen?, no seriously, what the hell is happening with you

PP Parker

 * PP Parker: Heeeeeeyy! Is that the spider-verse spider-whopper?
 * Felipe: Yes man!
 * PP Parker: Wow!, i wouldn't eat that if i were you
 * Felipe: what?
 * PP Parker: *eats whopper*
 * Felipe: What the f*ck man?, that *ss costed me 15 dollars!
 * PP Parker: Oh my goodness!, it tastes like a million spiders are coming in my mouth!
 * Felipe: AYO?!?
 * TBA
 * Ian: This isn't a very good idea Pedro....., (starts filming)
 * Pedro: Today, I'm gonna take a f**king sh*t! (opens door, and walks inside bathroom)
 * Charlotte: (Is that Pedro from school?)
 * Pedro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!, IT'S COMING OOUUT!, IT'S COMING NOOOOOWW!!!!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!, IT'S COMING NOOOOOWW! uh. uh. u- OH MY GOD MY ASS IS BLEEDING!!!!!!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
 * Charlotte: What The Hell are you doing Pedro?
 * Pedro: HOLU F*CK!, I'M FLOODING THE BATHROOM WITH SHH************T!!!!
 * Chipotle Employee: (goes in bathroom) Get out, you're banned from Chipotle (escorts Pedro out of the Chipotle)
 * Ian: (Stops filming)
 * Charlotte: Oh?, I thought you are going to take a f*cking sh*t?
 * Ian: I told ya Pedro, you got banned from chipotle
 * Pedro (While being escorted away): It was worth it
 * TBA
 * PP Parker: I'm gonna save the day! (Summons giant bean bag)
 * (Zoey lands in the bean bag, preventing her death)
 * Zoey: OH!
 * Kevin: Oh My God!, He Saved Zoey!
 * Tommy: You Legitimate Person!
 * TBA
 * 2069 Man: *C A N O N    E V E N T*
 * (Zoey gets launched in the air, and dies to fall damage)
 * Kevin: You Bastard!
 * PP Parker: You have committed murder, (Shoots web at the 2069 man)
 * The Reggie Twins: YAY PP PARKER!
 * 2069 man: (breaks free) you gotta do better than that.

Pedro The Viral Tiktoker

 * Pedro: hmmmmm.......
 * Video: (shows the scene from Episode 3 where Pedro screams in the bathroom)
 * Pedro: (sees views)
 * Video Stats: 369.2K Views, 2K Likes
 * Pedro: ZAMN!!!!

The Pink Sauce Truck

 * Pedro: Time for some sus jokes!
 * Ian: Okay, you go first.
 * Pedro: What do you call a chinese man who ties his shoe?
 * Felipe: This better not be racist.
 * Pedro: Taiwan shoe.
 * Felipe: Actually it's not bad, it's pretty good!
 * Ian: Okay, How do we know Adam and Eve are not chinese?
 * Felipe: Because they're African?
 * Ian: No, because they would have eaten the snake!
 * Pedro: DAMN!, that was a good one!
 * (Cuts to the idiots)
 * Jesse: Welcome to the pink sauce truck, what do you like to take an order?
 * Zoey: Yes, 2 bottles, to treat my diarrhea
 * Jesse: Hey!, this isn't Pepto Bismol!
 * Zoey: You're lying!, you don't deserve the Pepto Bismol job! (buys Pink Sauce and Leaves)
 * Jesse: But that's not Pepto bismol., ................OH SH*T!
 * (scene cuts to Zoey, 10 minutes later)
 * Zoey (after she took the toilet): ooooooooohhhhhh......., that Taco Bell still hit my tummy hard....., good thing i have Pepto Bismol!
 * Leanne: Hey Zoey.
 * Zoey: Oh hey Leanne, just taking my Pepto Bismol....., that Taco Bell was making me sick.
 * Leanne: (sees "Pepto Bismol" bottle) i don't think that's Pepto Bismol Zoey....., it say's Pink Sauce
 * Zoey: It feels spicy though....
 * Leanne: !!!
 * Zoey: Uh oh
 * Leanne: Zoey, please don't do what i think your about to-
 * Zoey: (sh*ts a massive diarrhea) AAAAAAAA-
 * (Zoey continues screaming)
 * Leanne: OH SH*T!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
 * (The scene then cuts to the Living Room being full of Zoey's sh*t, and she is dead as well)
 * Leanne: Spicy food should not be taken with diarrhea GOD DAMNIT!
 * TBA
 * Linda: but a girl died and 11 people got sick!
 * Jesse: F*ck this shit., screw you guys, i'm going home, i quit.

Debuts

 * Episode 1
 * Ian Kai Anderson
 * Bianca Anderson
 * Vincent Anderson
 * Zoey Stegmann
 * Kevin Cartman
 * Mariane Marshall
 * Pedro Villainueva (Cameo)
 * Episode 2
 * Pedro Villainueva (Speaking role)
 * Felipe Freeman
 * Charlotte Yamamoto
 * Episode 3
 * Owen Gisnep
 * Mikey Gisnep
 * Episode 4
 * Charlotte Yamamoto
 * PP Parker
 * Reggie Anderson
 * Regina Anderson
 * Episode 5
 * Jesse Testaburger
 * Leanne Stegmann

Zoey Stegmann

 * The Grimace Shake - She drops dead after drinking the grimace shake
 * Monday Left Him Broken - Laughs to death
 * No More Pride - She doesn't die
 * PP Parker - Her first death was avoided by PP Parker, but the 2069 man later pulled a "Canon Event" on her, killing her
 * The Pink Sauce Truck - Shat herself to death after taking Pink Sauce, as she mistook Pink Sauce for Pepto Bismol