Benson and The Thief/Transcript

(Lucy is attempting to trick Charlie Brown into trying to kick a football)

Lucy: Just kick the ball, you blockhead!

Charlie Brown: But every time I try, you just take the ball away.

Lucy: This time I won't! Come on, already!

Charlie Brown: (Thinking to himself) Maybe this time she means it. (He begins running)

(Officer Hector Bulldog jumps on Lucy and put a pair of handchuffs on her)

Hector: Lucille van Pelt, you're under arrest.

Lucy: WHAT!? Why, you motherf*cker!!!!????

Hector: Thanks to a police report given by every kid on your neihborhood.

Lucy: YOU DAMN TRAITORS!!! After all I made for you!.

(Hector takes Lucy away to a paddy wagoon)

Hector: Yeah; mental scarring, assault, bullying, practing psychiatry whithout a title, sexual stalking, noise contamination, animal abuse, etc, etc.

(After they leave, Charlie Brown kicks the football)

Charlie Brown: Yeah!

(Theme song)

(Theme song ends)

(The screen fades to the court where we see Benson walking to the court.)

Benson: Good day. Sun is shining, birds are tweeting and the court is ready. (trying to put the key in the keyhole) Okay... all right... here we go... and opening... on one... next time... spatial relationships... okey doke... come to papa... male end, female end... (opens door).

(Dramatic music sting)

Benson: My office! Burgled, plundered, purloined!. Everyone get in here! (everyone is instantly in Benson's office) Who can tell me what's different about my office?

Tom: You hid the interns?

Benson: NO, YOU F*CKING IDIOT! Everything's gone! execpt for my table and chair.

Bugs: Benson, I have a question, why you're not hired a night guard?

Benson: Bugs, I not have money for hiring him.

Bugs: Oh, ok.

Benson: Hm, maybe that bastard bird Teary Eyed Bryte has them.