Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat (season 2)/Episode 1b: An Unusual Family

Transcript
(Title and episode production credits appears. The episode opens on a sunny afternoon, and we zoom into the alleys beside the Magistrate's palace)

Jet-Jet: Come on Cha-Siu, ya slowpoke!

Cha-Siu: I'm not as fast as my grandma Nai-Nai, ya know! *barks and then meows*

(We see a young golden retriever walk into the frame. Sheegwa slowly walks up)

Sheegwa: Hi there, I am Sheegwa Miao. What's your name?

Bo: The name's Bo.

Sheegwa: Hey, wanna play catch?

Bo: Yeah, of course I wanna!

(Cut to a montage of Bo and Sheegwa playing. After the montage ends, the Alley Cats come up)

Ling: Oh look, it's Tiny Inkfa-

Lik-Lik: No-no, no-no!

Ling: Uh what?

Lik-Lik: Ling, Sheegwa's not a tiny inkface, she's A INKLESS-FACE! SHE DOESN'T HAVE SIAMESE MARKINGS!

Ling: Well, I failed at bullying. You continue, Wing Wing.

Wing Wing: Haha, looks like Sheegwa is playing with an outcast.

(the Alley Cats laugh)

Bo: *whimpers and sheds a tear*

Jet-Jet: *gets in Bo's face* Aw look, aren't you gonna cry?

Sheegwa: Says the softie!

Jet-Jet: *looking visibly embarrassed* Roasting sucks.

Lik-Lik: Come on, cry ya dweeby little cat hater!

(Sheegwa tries to lead Bo away from the Alley Cats)

Sheegwa: Ignore them Bo! They're just jerks, softies, and weiners!

Lik-Lik: Go run home to your mama! Oh wait, you have no mama!

Sheegwa: LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE OR I'M TELLING NAI-NAI!

(The Alley Cats look scared)

Ling: Uh-oh...

Lik-Lik: We're screwed.

Jet-Jet: I should be with the cook over at Sagwa's by now.

Hun-Hun: This is bad.

Lik-Lik: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

(The Alley Cats scramble away while screaming)

Sheegwa: Why do the Alley Cats hate you?

Bo: It's a long story, but I'll tell you later.

(Transition wipe to Tai-Tai spying on Sheegwa and Bo walking in the palace gardens)

Tai-Tai: What is that tiny siamese kitten doing now? I would send my sleeve dogs after her, but I hate those sleeve dogs now because THEY WON'T STOP ARGUING WITH THE CATS OVER WHO ARE THE FAVORITE PETS OF THE PALACE!!!

(Cut to Bo and Sheegwa)

Bo: I'll tell you my story now. I was born in an alley way. My mother was run over by a cart when I was only a week old, and I ended up being a street dog. Then a couple weeks later, these two grown up dogs came by. They were both boys, and their names were Li and Shaiming. They adopted me and have been caring for me ever since. It's why I have two babas.

(Cut to Tai-Tai walking on the palace patio)

Tai-Tai: Where is that Sagfool? Probably somewhere doing... calligraphy!

(Tai-Tai mimes Sagwa writing calligraphy with her tail)

Tai-Tai: I'll rid this palace of those Siamese fools and those Sleeve brats! Well I'll give them their doom! Fake shrimp bites filled with a sugary goo, that could kill them!

(Cut to Bo talking with Sheegwa)

Bo: Our owners own the local mom-and-pop cable provider. It's the only way we can get this television thing in the village. I sleep in front of the C-band dish equipment.

Sheegwa: I live in a better place: a palace!

Bo: Sounds cool. I wish I was born in a place like that sometimes. I gotta go now, I need to spend some time with my babas. See ya!

Sheegwa: Bye!

(Transition wipe to the next morning, where we see a montage of Bo and Sheegwa playing. Afterwards, we see Sheegwa visiting Bo's home)

Bo's owner: What a cute kitten! I hope we don't need to adopt it!

(Transition wipe to Sheegwa approaching Dongwa studying kung-fu)

Sheegwa: Hey Dongwa, what's a homosexual?

Dongwa: You mean gay?

Sheegwa: What are gay people like?

Dongwa: People who like people of the same gender as they are. Siao-Po is romantically interested in this other alley cat, who's also a guy, but he also likes Ling, who's a girl. That makes him sorta... kinda gay.

Sheegwa: Well, I saw Bo's parents, Li and Shaiming, licking each other and I heard them call each other "laopo". That's the same thing Mama and Baba or Yeh-Yeh and Nai-Nai do with each other at times.