Sister Act 3: The Teacher Guard/Script

Queue and Preshow
Timon: Hi, everyone! It's me, Timon. Teacher Scarlet Macaw and her teachers are getting the final sequel all set up, so we should be starting the show real soon. Oh! I forgot. Just a little reminder to everyone, please don't put on your 3D convent glasses until you are seated inside Sister Mary George's classroom. Thank you.

Sister Mary George: Hiya, everybody! It's me, Sister Mary George! (laughs) Are you ready for the show? That's great, 'cause I'm getting ready to open these automatic doors. For those of you near our school entrance, please be sure to stand away from the board and behind the yellow line and clear of the doors 'cause when I push the tiger, they're gonna open towards you. Now, uh, where'd that tiger get to? Hey, there it is! (laughs) Ready? Here we gooooooooo!

Peacock Leader: Oh, hi everybody! It's me, your peacock leader! Now that you're here, go ahead and pick a row you want to sit in, and keep stepping 'til you're all the way across. That's right, buddy. Keep it a-moving! (squawks) And for your safety, please don't go puttin' on your special 3D convent glasses until Timon tells you, okay? Thanks. For all of you coming in, thanks for filling in all the available seats. And all of you going out, thanks for making the seats available. (squawks) If you're still coming in, it's great to see ya! Now it's time to choose a row and move yourself all the way across, so you can fill up all the empty seats. That's right, madam. You show 'em how it's done! (squawks) Goodness, being a stage manager sure is fun. Sister Mary George? Sister Mary Clarence? Sister Mary Olivia? HEY, GUYS!!!! Are you all done up there? My goodness, wonder where they went? (walking slowly, dog barks, then the Peacock Leader screams) Sorry, little lion! (closes the door, opens the door) Almost ready! Hmm. How'd that chalk get dropped? I'll just use the chalk to the board. (Peacock Leader grabs the chalk making the chalk fly like a plane with jet noises, causing him and us to get goosebumps, and we all scream in terror as well with Peacock Leader. Then, Peacock Leader grabs the chalk and puts the chalk back to the board, just quietly.) (laughs) That's better. (walks off the room and closes the door)

Teacher Scarlet Macaw Appears!
(We see Timon, Scarletto the scarlet macaw, and Peacock Leader behind Sister Mary George and her friends in Sister Mary George's school classroom near our convent.)

Timon: Hey, guys! Welcome to the final sequel. I'm Timon. You remember me from Festival of The Lion King. Here is my new guest. Take it away!

Peacock Leader: Hi! It's me! Your peacock leader! Please pay attention! Teacher Scarlet Macaw is on her way over here, and I thought maybe you would all do me a big favor and help put her in a good mood. Cause believe me, there is nothing worse than a crabby scarlet macaw like Scarletto! What I'd like you to do is, when she arrives, clap your wings! (We clap our hands.) Oh, wonderful. Let's try it on the count of ten. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

(Timon, Peacock Leader, and us clap our hands.)

Peacock Leader: That's great. Now do we have any animals here today (tonight)?

(Teacher Scarlet Macaw appears showing off her colorful feathers!)

Timon: Here she is folks. Our first teacher, Teacher Scarlet Macaw!

(Teacher Scarlet Macaw comes to the front of the stage acknowledging applause. She then surveys the stage and notices all animals. She is visibly glad and orders Teacher Noah to get the teachers announcing the performance. She goes up the stage, left stairs and summons her new friends while Teacher Roary appears roaring. Teacher Scarlet Macaw rings a bell summoning the others to the stage. Even Sister Mary George starts clicking her frog clicker to summon her other friends to the stage. Sister Mary George's friends sit at the lunch counter; Sister Mary Umbrella Bird takes a seat under one of the hair dryers; and Sister Mary Kion begin playing wrestling, Teacher Scarlet Macaw orders the musicians to stop playing, and we hear Timon say:)

Timon. Let’s hear it for the Virginia Virtual Academy's Band!

(They all applaud.)

Sister Mary Ono: Are we ready to begin?

Father Virgil: Teacher Scarlet Macaw, where's Teacher Penelope Penguin? (Looking around.) Teacher Penelope Penguin... (Father Virgil goes up the steps to the door.) Come on out, Teacher. It’s okay. They’re all friends.

(Teacher Penelope slides like a real penguin.)

Teacher Penelope: Whoaaaaaaah! To slippery!

Sister Mary Sarah: Where is Sister Theodosia?

Sister Theodosia: (First words) Waah! Waah!

Sister Mary Martin-Of-Tours: ¡¡¡Ella gritóóóóóóóóóóóóóóó!!!

Sister Mary Sunday: Yeah! I know the perfect place! (She holds up the lion cub) '''Hey, Kairon! We all hail the liooon!'''

Sister Mary Karen: Ha! You got nowhere to go, Sunday!

Sister Mary Sunday: Says who? Abracadabra Alakazam! (Laughs) Catch me if you can, Kairon!

Sister Mary Karen: Game on, Sunday! Later, Sister. Have fun, watching those gazelle, Korrina. I have to get Sunday! (She goes after Sunday)

Sister Mary Korrina: (Sighs) I can't believe we're related.

Sister Mary Simba: She will stay someday. I hope.