Disney's The Angry Birds Movie Special Edition/Transcript


 * [Red is running through the forest carrying a fake egg.]
 * Red: Okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Come on, let's go. Let's go, buddy. Come on, come on, we gotta move, we gotta move. [Red goes through a log and then falls down a cliff. He tries to fly.] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! [Starts falling.] No, no, no, no, no! [He grabs the fake egg.] Hey, hey, gotcha! [Swings on a vine. A snake gets caught on the vine.] I don't like it! I don't like it! [Drops the fake egg, falls down a tree and hits branches on the way down, then fall into ground, then Grabs the egg, then Red saw a leopard in Bird Island, then Leopard growled at Red.] Leopard, come on, your gonna eat the egg? I don't think so! [then Red started fight leopard, then Red on the tree branch, then Tree branch flings him up while Leopard attacked failed.]
 * I'm flying! Nope, still can't fly. [Falls in water.] I cannot believe this. Breathe, breathe. [Grabs fake egg and goes onto land. Pulls fish-like thing of himself.] Bottom feeder. [ Goes up treehouse.] Up and Over! [Knocks then puts on clown costume.] Ta-Da!
 * Timothy: (screaming)
 * Red: No, no, no, no! Look, it's okay. I'm just a clown.
 * Timothy: (crying)
 * Red: Oh, boy. That's a loud...loud...You're very scared of me. Here, come here.
 * Timothy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
 * Red: Nope. Okay. Nope. Never mind. [Tries to hand Timothy the fake egg.]

to be continued...
 * Edward: Happy hatchday! Hi, pal. You must be so disappointed in yourself for being this late.
 * Red: No, no, no, no, no! I'm not late, look at the time. See, the order said before noon.
 * [The clock moves to noon.]
 * Edward: Okay, now you're late.
 * Red': What?
 * Edward: Where have you been?
 * Red': It's funny you ask. [Clown nose falls off of his beak.] You see I was...
 * Edward: You missed the party. [Pointing at fake egg.] What is that?
 * Red: Oh, that. Uh, yeah. Yes, see, I fell on the box. [He open the fake egg to reveal a birthday cake and a squirrel, who is eating the cake. Edward picks up the squirrel.] Oh, the squirrel. That's on us. [Edward throws the squirrel to the side.] You know, I tried to keep my body between the ground and the box, but, you know, I think I got a little bruise. [Shows Timothy his tail.] See anything back there?
 * Timothy: Ugh.
 * Edward: Hear that, Honey? The clown we paid to be here an hour ago fell on our son's hatchday cake. That's why our son's hatchday party is ruined!
 * Red: Oh.
 * Edward: And the next you mess up, don't tell me a story, just take responsibility.
 * Red: Hey, man, it wasn't a story.
 * Edward: [Mocking Red.] I'm a screw-up that woke up late and fell on the thing you paid for! [ Timothy mimics along with him]
 * Red: Mm-hmm, It wasn't a story. I almost drowned.
 * Edward: Why don't we just settle this out and say the cake's on you. [Points at Red.]
 * Timothy: You.
 * Red: I'm sorry, it's on me?
 * Edward: Well, who else would it be on?
 * Red: [Laughs then sighs. Is taking off his clown costume as he is talking.] Well, you know, I... I'm not sure you're gonna like this, um, but since you asked. Rather than being on me, as you suggested, this cake IS ON YOU! [freeze frame]
 * [TITLE SCREEN] Disney's Angry Birds Special Edition
 * [freeze frame stop, Red slams the cake on Edward's face.] Ha! So, you wanna hear a story? [Is dressing Edward in the clown costume as he is talking.] I run my butt off, literally, mind you, to get the "gluten-free cake." What the heck is gluten? I mean, does gluten even exist?
 * Eva: Who are you?
 * Edward: Get outta here!
 * Red: Already? But you're the only one that's had cake! [Takes some cake off Edward's face.]
 * Edward: What?
 * Red: [Eats some of the cake he grabbed.] Mm, mm, That's good stuff. Anybody want to eat some cake of their dad or husband?
 * Timothy: Uh...
 * Red: Who needs plates when you got this guy's face, right? [Laughs. Goes as if to leave, then comes back.] Oooo, wait, I almost forgot. You know, I'm supposed to do a quick customer satisfaction survey before I, hoo-hoo, split, okay? So, on a scale of one to three stars, what would say about my performance? {Is starting to walk back.] And don't forget, the squirrel was [ distorted] free... [Trips on squirrel. Red is falling backwards right to a real egg in a nest.] Sorry about this.
 * Edward: [ distorted] No!
 * Red: [ distorted] My bad.
 * [Red is stopped inches away from the egg by Edward, whose tail is being held by Eva, whose tail is being held by Timothy. Timothy notices a piece of cake on the floor, and lets go to eat it. Everyone else then falls over.]
 * Red: Congratulations!
 * Edward: Huh?
 * Red: [The egg is now broken, and Red is upside down in it.] It's a boy!