Marvel Spotlight (Marvel;Re)/Deadpool: A Man of Culture

Deadpool: Man of Culture is an issue in Marvel Spotlight.

Synopsis
Deadpool here, just read the damn comic! I am not going to bother to spoil the plot.

Transcript
The issue begins with Deadpool in a chair smoking a pipe and petting a cat. It cuts to immediately after Gwenpool rejecting Deadpool as he is angry. Deadpool hums and marches into the Daily Bugle. Robbie Robertson comes. He jumps out of the window as Betty Brant gives a soft tear. It cuts to Deadpool in his apartment as suddenly someone knocks. He answers to see it to be Professor Thorton. Kestrel appears behind Deadpool and whacks him. Deadpool is unphased by the attack.
 * Deadpool: Greetings low lives of the internet. It's your favorite bitch Deadpool. This scene is non canon to Marvel;Re as I am just saying that kids get the fuck off this page because this is not for fucking kids, two this is after Gwenpool but before X-men issue four and three if this issue introduces a status quo change, I will wear a strapless bikini and dance to a Tik Tok song. Well now to the actual story.
 * Deadpool: Fuck! She left! Now I am roommateless and now I have to pay full rent! Why the hell did I try to get her to be my sidekick?! I need to find a roommate...
 * Deadpool: I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE!
 * Robbie: What the fuck do you want?
 * Deadpool: You control the newspapers, right?
 * Robbie: Yes...
 * Deadpool: I need you to publish an ad.
 * Robbie: What if I say no?
 * Deadpool: Then I will shoot you dead.
 * Robbie: Fine... I will.
 * Deadpool: Good. Because I didn't want to cause a status quo change this early. Sorry about the disturbance guys! At least I didn't accuse you guys of being Skrulls like Mr. J did! See ya!
 * Betty: I liked that window...
 * Deadpool: YOU DON'T HAVE A HOUSE! THE HEAD SCIENTIST OF WEAPON X DOESN'T HAVE A HOUSE?!
 * Thorton: I'm not here for the house. I'm here for you. Kestrel, knock this bitch out.