The Evil Martin (2023)/Transcript

Part I: Martin Attacks!

 * (Shows Warner Bros. Pictures/Warner Animation Group logo)
 * (Shows the Village Roadshow Pictures Logo on screen which zooms out, revealing it's from the moon)
 * (The shoot zooms out from the moon to a barn in Seminole, Texas on the night of August 5th, 2023. Then cuts to a spaceship penetrating the lower atmosphere, thus losing one of it's wings, which causes it to crash on the barn. It wakes up an person nearby)
 * Redneck #1: What the hell was that?!
 * (The Redneck gets out of bed, changes into his hunting clothes and loads his double-barrel. A pick-up truck arrives, with it's driver coming out of the car)
 * Redneck #2: Damn... You just saw what I just sawed?
 * Redneck #1: Straight, Earl. Let's find out what it is!
 * (Both of the Rednecks walk to the crash site, as a Texas Highway Patrol Officer arrives in his Jeep)
 * Texas Highway Patrol Officer: This ain't a normal downed Cessna or anything. This is far worse!
 * (All of a sudden, a door opens, revealing a man with grey skin, and an outfit that looks identical to RodexZombie)
 * Redneck #2: WHAT THE?!
 * (He fires a laser shot at the Texas Highway Patrol Officer, causing a hole to appear on his abdomen. He drops to the ground as he picks up Redneck #2 and slams him against a tree, but not before slamming him to the ground)
 * Redneck #1: Holy hell! Get me the fuck outta here!
 * (He fires another laser at Redneck #2, causing him to drop to the ground)
 * (ROBLOX Studios Logo appears as "In The End (Epic Cinematic Cover)" by Tommee Profitt, Fleurie & Jung Youth plays in the background)

Just Like Every Day

 * (Cuts to Mike & Desmond's living room. Mike is playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 on his PS3 while Desmond is eating Fruit Loops)
 * Desmond: I dig your style, man! Hey, uh, when are your Jordan's gonna arrive?
 * Mike: Nah, they still got a few more days..
 * (Mike heads and opens a fridge, drinking water)
 * Mike: I mean, the recent Air Jordans that came out 2 months prior are hot on demand. They're nearly out of Air Jordans, man!
 * (Desmond gets a phone notification from FOX 7 Austin YouTube account)
 * Desmond: Hey, it's my favorite YouTube channel!
 * Mike: Really, dude? You watch those alt-right nerds?
 * Desmond: Bro, they ain't alt-right at all!
 * FOX 7 Austin Reporter: The aircraft crashed somewhere in Seminole, Texas, the same spot as where several bodies were found, 2 residents and a local Texas Highway Patrol officer who spotted the aircraft mistook it for a crashed Cessna.
 * Unknown: Texas National Guard!
 * (Reporter turns his head)
 * Texas National Guard Soldier #1: Shut off the camera!
 * (Desmond's screen turns into static)
 * Desmond: Man, these national guard dudes don't play soft, y'know.
 * Mike: But what's more strange is their reason. For what intention did they come to Earth? That's what worries me.
 * Desmond: Man, don't worry. It ain't nothin at all!
 * (Cuts to Dreamland AFB. A large steel cube is shown in the middle of a research lab, which is teeming with a dozen or so researchers. In view of the camera is a control booth, displaying readings from the various sensors inside the cube)
 * Scientist #1: Come on, people!
 * (The control booth operator leans forward, alerted to the various readings on the sensors)
 * Scientist #2: Test Subject ME-978 is trying to escape!
 * (Approximately five seconds later, a steel wall on the containment cube receives a sizable dent bending outward. The dent becomes larger before breaking. ME-978 is seen bending the steel away, frantically trying to escape. Emergency plates drop on the cube as a containment breach is sounded)
 * ME-978: You are no match for me, pests!
 * (Two security teams enter the room as ME-978 breaks out of containment. Live ammo is fired but has no visible effect.)
 * Army Soldier: Ammo's useless, switch to incendiary rounds!
 * (ME-978 kills both security teams and researchers with a grenade that causes them to turn into dust)
 * (Cuts to Mike's garage. Desmond is putting Mike's supplies in his 2009 Dodge Challenger SRT-8, while Mike enters his 2009 Challenger SRT-8)
 * Desmond: Stay safe, man. Nobody comes back from Dreamland AFB alive and tells the story without Men in Black sending them to Guantanamo Bay. The odds are only one in a thousand.
 * Mike: Better than nothing, Des!
 * (Mike gets out of his garage as "Lift Me Up" by Moby plays. Shot from his car zooms out)
 * (The Evil Martin title card appears)

They're Out There

 * (Shot from city zooms out to the sun, which is revealed to be in Seminole, Texas. Mike pulls over to the crash site. He gets out of his 2009 Challenger SRT-8. He then enters the aircraft)
 * Mike: Hey! Hello? Anybody here?!
 * (He then sees a glowing red computer. He touches only to find out it has called for reinforcements)
 * Mike: Oh no! I got to tell Des!
 * ("Tense Moment" by Evil Dog starts playing as Mike rushes for his 2009 Challenger SRT-8. He enters and drives away from the aircraft as Martin watches from a distance. He reaches for his Samsung Galaxy A12 and calls Desmond)
 * Mike: Des!
 * Desmond: What's up, man?
 * Mike: Dude, your gonna call me crazy, but when I boarded that aircraft, I just discovered something truly chilling! Whoever or whatever was on board has called for reinforcements!
 * Desmond: Homie, did something dope hit ya, cuz I don't understand ya!
 * Mike: It's real! Call Kirsten & Jerry and tell them to pack their bags! I'm coming to get them!
 * Desmond: Dude, don't come home until yo calmed down, ya heard?
 * Mike: Just pack your bags and wait for Kirsten and Jerry at home
 * Desmond: *Sighs* Sure man...
 * (Just as Mike ends the phone call, Martin fires a bomb towards his way)
 * Mike: Woah!
 * (Mike dodges the blast narrowly. Martin does the same again, but to no avail)
 * ME-978: Ah! This bad aim is my biggest burden!
 * (Mike arrives home as "Together in Hell" by EvilDog plays)
 * Mike: Kirsten, Jerry! Are you guys alright?!
 * Kirsten: Alright? Mike, you've scared Jerry so much. And he's only 10!
 * Mike: I know!
 * (Turns to Jerry)
 * Mike: Hey little bro, Are you OK?
 * Jerry: You scared me alot...
 * Mike: It's OK. It won't happen again...
 * (Kirsten then turns on the TV and switches the channel to the news)
 * CNBC Reporter: …At 12:50 AM, several unidentified aircraft have been seen penetrating the lower atmosphere. It is believed that these aircraft are of extraterrestrial origin. If we really are dealing with an alien invasion, then citizens must seek shelter immediately, if any is available. We are now reporting to our correspondent in Los Angeles. Elizabeth?
 * Elizabeth: We are in L.A, one of the many impact sites for the unidentified aircraft! The people here are quite euphoric. Were gonna ask a girl right here. Ma'am?
 * Hippie #1: I'm not a Ma'am! And I hope they bring back Technoblade!
 * Elizabeth: Right... They are quite excited for the...
 * (TV glitches and turns to static)
 * Kirsten: Oh my god... They must have jammed the comms!
 * Elizabeth's Cameraman: Beth, something ain't picking this up!
 * Elizabeth: Must be the aircraft coming, then
 * (All of a sudden, the tripod lands in the ocean, and emerges 10 seconds later)
 * Elizabeth: The dust is clearing now.. This is such an epic moment in the history of mankind...
 * (The Tripod does a "Ulla" Cry similar to the Martians in War of the Worlds. "The Heat Ray Remix" by Jeff Wayne. All of a sudden, it activates it's weapons and attacks the crowd. The reactions before it attacks are mixed. Some people are smart enough to run out of there, while others just stare at the tripod)
 * (Elizabeth runs as her cameraman drops the camera and runs alongside her. Her high heels make her nearly fall, but not before her cameraman carries her in his arms)
 * Elizabeth: Thanks, your amazing!
 * (Cut to Mike & Desmond's living room)
 * Kirsten: We got to get the hell outta here! It's not safe anymore!
 * Mike: True! Let's make like a tree and go to the countryside!
 * (Mike runs towards the window. With a horrified expression, he looks as the tripods wreak havoc)
 * Mike: They're here! Get in to my car!
 * (Everyone gets in Mike's Dodge Challenger SRT-8. He takes off and turns his head as Austin turns into chaos. While driving, the car is nearly hit by lasers. Mike turns his head to the rearview mirror only to witness that he is being chased by jet black Ford Taurus SHOs)
 * Mike: Ah, come on!
 * (The Taurus SHOs transform into something the Dreads from Transformers: Dark of the Moon, given the movie had some inspiration by Dark of the Moon)