The Avengers (Marvel;Re)/Issue 1 (Coolot1)

This is issue one of Thor's team in The Avengers (Marvel;Re).

Plot Transcript
It starts in the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier as two of their smartest minds Doctor Sampson and the A.I. Jocasta are shown working on some sort of armor. Suddenly a figure comes in, being in some sort of panic. Samson shrugs as he gives the Adaptoid suit to Ward as he laughs maniacally and then grabs Samson and throws him off of the Hellicarrier. Jocasta in panic jumps out the window to save her companion as Ward blasts off out of the Hellicarrier. It cuts to Thor's avengers' hideout which is a rundown bar. Thor and his teammates are shown setting up the base. Eros grabs a bottle of whisky and chugs it down. Jessica gives a toothy smirk as she runs towards Eros and punches him repeatedly, knocking him out. They nod as it cuts to a few hours later as the bar is now fully decked out with tech and stuff as suddenly a pink phone starts ringing as Thor answers. He hangs up. Thor then gives a highly girly scream. He does turn on the news as shockingly the first thing on is "evil robot destroys time square." It cuts to Time Square as Grant Ward is attacking now in a full Super Adaptoid mech as Thor's team comes and their face of confidence turns into pure terror. They use all the have against Ward as Ward in the suit suddenly uses lightning to shock Wanda, uses Eros' emotion manipulation power to make shocking Rick and Carol in love, uses Wanda's magic on Jessica, use's a mix of Captain Britain's and Carol's powers on Thor and finally smashes Brian. She tries to kiss him as Thor stops him. He suddenly forms Captain America's shield and throws it at Thor before flying off. The wounded Avengers walk up and head to the base as Carol and Rick are doing affectionate stuff.
 * Samson: "Agent Ward? What is it?"
 * Grant: "The Brood.. they are coming... I need the suit..."
 * Jocasta: "My scans aren't picking up any brood life forms."
 * Grant: "It must be some sort of a new breed. Come on. Give me the suit!"
 * Samson: "If you say so..."
 * Jocasta: "Dr. Samson, I don't trust him."
 * Grant: "You're opinion doesn't matter here robot! You were made to be Ultron's bride! So come on! Give me the goddamn suit! I am the only hope to stop annihilation!"
 * Jessica Jones: "Please tell me why you picked a bar again?"
 * Thor: "What? Because a god can't get drunk doesn't mean he can't drink beer."
 * Jessica Jones: "You disgust me..."
 * Wanda Maximoff: "Because you have a five year record of soberness doesn't mean all of us do."
 * Carol Danvers: "I don't suggest you do that... ah... too late..."
 * Eros: "Holy f**cking crap! This weird elixir is good!"
 * Rick Jones: "It's called alcohol. It makes you drunk."
 * Eros: "I want more!"
 * All Except for Eros: "No!"
 * Thor: "I am fine with drinking alcohol but we have to finish up setting up this base! Jessica put Eros to sleep, anyway possible."
 * Jessica Jones: "Voila!"
 * Brian Braddock: "Wasn't that too violent?"
 * Jessica Jones: "How else would you put an Eternal to sleep?"
 * Brian Braddock: "Good point..."
 * Thor: "So... should we continue?"
 * Thor: "Welcome to the ThorCave, Thor Odinson speaking."
 * Nick Fury: "You motherfu..."
 * Thor: "(cutting him off) Wait Nick Fury?"
 * Nick Fury: "Of course it is me. I have a mission for you."
 * Thor: "Nice... I'll see if I can take it."
 * Nick Fury: "I would take one of the other teams but they are busy working for other people. Anyways do you know who Grant Ward is?"
 * Thor: "Who?"
 * Nick Fury: "A former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who stole a powerfully dangerous mech and almost killed Doc Samson."
 * Thor: "Is he okay?"
 * Nick Fury: "Yes he is. You may be one of the Avengers I trust the least to do this job but please show Ward what Avenging means?"
 * Thor: "I will."
 * Thor: "We have a mission!"
 * Wanda Maximoff: "What is it?"
 * Thor: "We have to fight a guy named Grant. He nearly killed a guy."
 * Rick Jones: "Do you think it would be hard?"
 * Thor: "It's a guy named Grant! It's not like he is Ultron or Molecule Man! I think we need to find this guy. I think the news will tell us where he is."
 * Thor: "Avengers... RIDE FAST AND EAT ASS!"
 * Carol Danvers: "What?"
 * Thor: "I'm trying to differentiate. Let's just go."
 * Wanda Maximoff: "You didn't mention he was in a Super Adaptoid!"
 * Thor: "Because I didn't know he was. No matter let's just all attack at him at once."
 * Eros: "Is that a good idea?"
 * Thor: "The suit would override and blow up due to all of the powers. I'm smart. Trust me."
 * Carol Danvers: "Hey cutie..."
 * Thor: "This is not right! This Grant loser guy used Eros' power to make you two horny!"
 * Grant: "Oh I should probably give you a parting gift Thor."
 * Thor: "Looks like this Grant guy is serious. Come on let's go."
 * Brian: "Oh for fecks sake!"