Ian Anderson/Season 1 Script

This is the first Season of the Comedy Cartoon Ian Anderson, it premiered on July 1, 2023

The Grimace Shake

 * Ian: (Looks at phone) What's this grimace shake?
 * Phone: (Ian clicks the youtube short)
 * (The Short Plays)
 * CG5: I just got the grimace shake!, ooh that sounds delicious!, do you want the grimace shake?, yes! it's so nutricious! Happy Birthday Grimace! (Glitches into a scene where CG5 is dead with Grimace shake all over)
 * Ian: Nice fad, but i won't try the grimace shake, not because of the fad, but because it has 75 grams of sugar, and that's just the medium shake.
 * Becky: Hey Ian., Is that the grimace shake trend i saw at TikTok?
 * Ian: Yes, that's the shake.
 * Becky: I Heard That it's causing fake deaths.
 * Becky: But i get why they pretend to die though, they pretend it's something cursed beverage XD
 * Becky: also, what amount of sugar again?
 * Ian: 75, and that's only the medium variant
 * Becky: I guess i won't try it, it's too sweet. blech....
 * Ian: Yeah, I Know.
 * TBA
 * Zoey: Guys, The grimace shake is safe, those people who are seen dying are just staged!, haha! (drink shake), see guys!, it's safe, the deaths are just fads, a- (she pauses for a few seconds, then falls over, dead)
 * Kevin: OH MY GOD!, Zoey died from the grimace shake!, but who killed her by giving her the grimace shake?
 * Mariane: McDonald's makes the-
 * Kevin: I Know Marshall that it's McDonald's, i'm talking about the specific person who gave her the shake!
 * Vincent: Damn, this the first time i saw someone actually dying from the Grimace shake
 * Becky: Please Zoey, you're faking that death, right?
 * (Zoey can't respond because she is actually dead)

No More Pride

 * Amana: Hey babe, guess what today is?
 * Caitlyn: July?
 * Amana: Yeah, just be careful of.... (Gets a bit nervous) discrimination?
 * Caitlyn: Okay babe. ;)
 * TBA
 * Pedro: What does a lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend?
 * Amama: (getting angry) DON'T SAY IT.....
 * Pedro: Se ya next month
 * Amana: (a little mad) well that could have been more offensive.
 * Pedro: What did you expect?, Racism?
 * Felipe: just leave the lesbians alone please....., -_-
 * TBA
 * Amana: But i thought we were getting descriminated!

Monday Left Him Broken

 * Phone: (Plays TikTok)
 * Cat: Monday Left Me Broken..., you se-
 * Owen: Aw hell naw, not this sh*t again...... (Scrolls)
 * TikTok: Monday left me broken...
 * Owen: HELL NO! (Scrolls)
 * TikTok: Monday left
 * Owen: GOD DAMN IT!
 * TikTok: Monday Left Me Monday Left Me MONDAY LEFT ME BROKEN
 * Owen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH STOP!!!!!
 * TBA
 * Owen: LEAVE ME ALONE MIKEY! (His Mind Shows the meme) AAAUUGH! (He thinks is again about the meme, MONDAY LEFT ME BROKEN- YOU SE) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHh!!!!!!!
 * Mikey: What the hell Owen?, no seriously, what the hell is happening with you

PP Parker

 * PP Parker: Heeeeeeyy! Is that the spider-verse spider-whopper?
 * Felipe: Yes man!
 * PP Parker: Wow!, i wouldn't eat that if i were you, you'll get yourself into a sticky situation.
 * Felipe: what?
 * PP Parker: Lemme take it from you *grabs and eats whopper*
 * Felipe: What the f*ck man?, that *ss costed me 15 dollars!
 * PP Parker: Oh my goodness!, it tastes like a million spiders are coming in my mouth!
 * Felipe: AYO?!?
 * PP Parker: (gets sick and turns into Ohio spiderman)
 * Felipe: HOLY SH*T! (Flees burger king)
 * Becky: What's with him?
 * Vincent: I don't know, maybe there's something weird.
 * (cuts to Pedro and Ian)
 * Ian: This isn't a very good idea Pedro....., (starts filming)
 * Pedro: Today, I'm gonna take a f**king sh*t! (opens door, and walks inside bathroom)
 * Charlotte: (Is that Pedro from school?)
 * Pedro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!, IT'S COMING OOUUT!, IT'S COMING NOOOOOWW!!!!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!, IT'S COMING NOOOOOWW! uh. uh. u- OH MY GOD MY ASS IS BLEEDING!!!!!!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
 * Charlotte: What The Hell are you doing Pedro?
 * Pedro: HOLY F*CK!, I'M FLOODING THE BATHROOM WITH SHH************T!!!!
 * Chipotle Employee: (goes in bathroom) Get out, you're banned from Chipotle (escorts Pedro out of the Chipotle)
 * Ian: (Stops filming)
 * Charlotte: Oh?, I thought you are going to take a f*cking sh*t?
 * Ian: I told ya Pedro, you got banned from chipotle
 * Pedro (While being escorted away): It was worth it
 * Ian: (to Charlotte) And that was terrible, i knew that was a bad idea, and he got banned......, i told him not to do it in the first place
 * Charlotte: Prank gone wrong haha......
 * TBA
 * PP Parker: I'm gonna save the day! (Summons giant bean bag)
 * (Zoey lands in the bean bag, preventing her death)
 * Zoey: OH!
 * Kevin: Oh My God!, He Saved Zoey!
 * Tommy: You Legitimate Person!
 * TBA
 * 2069 Man: *C A N O N    E V E N T*
 * (Zoey gets launched in the air, and dies to fall damage)
 * Kevin: You Bastard!
 * PP Parker: You have committed murder, (Shoots web at the 2069 man)
 * The Reggie Twins: YAY PP PARKER!
 * 2069 man: (breaks free) you gotta do better than that.

Pedro The Viral Tiktoker

 * Pedro: hmmmmm.......
 * Video: (shows the scene from Episode 3 where Pedro screams in the bathroom)
 * Pedro: (sees views)
 * Video Stats: 369.2K Views, 2K Likes
 * Pedro: ZAMN!!!!
 * TBA
 * (I got no iPhone plays as Pedro dances)

The Pink Sauce Truck

 * Pedro: Time for some sus jokes!
 * Ian: Okay, you go first.
 * Pedro: What do you call a chinese man who ties his shoe?
 * Felipe: This better not be racist.
 * Pedro: Taiwan shoe.
 * Felipe: Actually it's not bad, it's pretty good!
 * Ian: Okay, How do we know Adam and Eve are not chinese?
 * Felipe: Because they're African?
 * Ian: No, because they would have eaten the snake!
 * Pedro: DAMN!, that was a good one!
 * (Cuts to the idiots)
 * Linda: Okay, we opened the pink sauce truck!, we'll be successful!
 * Jesse: Welcome to the pink sauce truck, what do you like to take an order?
 * Zoey: Yes, 2 bottles, to treat my diarrhea
 * Jesse: Hey!, this isn't Pepto Bismol!
 * Zoey: You're lying!, you don't deserve the Pepto Bismol job! (buys Pink Sauce and Leaves)
 * Jesse: But that's not Pepto bismol., ................OH SH*T!
 * (scene cuts to Zoey, 10 minutes later)
 * Zoey (after she took the toilet): ooooooooohhhhhh......., that Taco Bell still hit my tummy hard....., good thing i have Pepto Bismol!
 * Leanne: Hey Zoey.
 * Zoey: Oh hey Leanne, just taking my Pepto Bismol....., that Taco Bell was making me sick.
 * Leanne: (sees "Pepto Bismol" bottle) i don't think that's Pepto Bismol Zoey....., it say's Pink Sauce
 * Zoey: It feels spicy though....
 * Leanne: !!!
 * Zoey: Uh oh
 * Leanne: Zoey, please don't do what i think your about to-
 * Zoey: (sh*ts a massive diarrhea) AAAAAAAA-
 * (Zoey continues screaming)
 * Leanne: OH SH*T!, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
 * (The scene then cuts to the Living Room being full of Zoey's sh*t, and she is dead as well)
 * Leanne: Spicy food should not be taken with diarrhea GOD DAMNIT!
 * TBA
 * Linda: but a girl died and 11 people got sick!
 * Jesse: F*ck this shit., screw you guys, i'm going home, i quit.

Dade And Bandy

 * Bandy: (Throws bus)
 * Zoey: (gets crushed by bus)

Uncle Brody

 * MrBeast: Boys $100,000 or mystery box?
 * Ian: Ayo! MrBeast!
 * Felipe: I'll play it safe and take the $100,000.
 * MrBeast: Okay, $100,000 (gives Felipe the money)
 * Ian: I'll do a mystery box....
 * MrBeast: Let's see what's in crate no. 1!, you won a PS5
 * Ian: Awesome!, Thanks Jimmy!
 * Pedro: I'll join and i want the mystery box!
 * MrBeast: Let's see what's in crate no. 2!, 20 feastables!, and you can also buy feastables as well!
 * Pedro: Damn <:'\
 * TBA
 * Uncle Brody: Remember, Ms. Adachi nailed her sushi video, she she gets called as "Auntie Petunia", but then she fucked up egg fried rice by making the Jackie Olimar Mistake, so i took her Auntie title away
 * TBA
 * Ian: Hey Pedro, how do Japanese people burp?
 * Pedro: (m**ns) Uhhh!
 * ????: Seriously dude?, i'm part-Japanese and i find it offensive for others, but i'd rather get annoyed....
 * Pedro: Sino nagtanong sayo?
 * Kyle: By the way, i'm Kyle, nice to meet you, and my parents recently moved here from Florida.
 * Hikari: Yeah, Kyle's right, i find it offensive as a Japanese girl myself.
 * Pedro: Okay i'm sorry i guess....

Hammering

 * Oswald: *Starts streaming his nail hammering*
 * Kenai: Those hammering sounds hit way harder than i thought.

The Plane Farter

 * Chuck: I can't believe we got a free trip to South Park
 * Russel: Yeah!, it's gonna be a gas!, sass!, what you need is some relief!
 * Chuck: Yeah, i got two tickets right here.
 * Russel: *Accidentally Farts*
 * (Zoey Stegmann falls to death)
 * TBA
 * Mandy: Oh............, Oh hi Pedro....., uuumm, i've been meaning to tell you something...., i-
 * Pedro: SHUT UP YOU STUPID B*TCH!, HAIYAAH! (Punches Mandy off the window)
 * Mandy: (Screams)
 * Pedro: Remember Mandy!, if you don't have any nuts?, then you don't have Deez Nuts!
 * Jacob: Who the hell is that?
 * Pedro: Just a random th0t, she was simping on me since elementary, i finally got rid of her.
 * Jacob: Okay, that's fine, she was an obsessive th0t, so that murder.
 * Mandy (Now has a blackeye): (Continues screaming as she falls off the plane and into a volcano mountain)
 * (Thud)
 * Mandy: Oh gosh, that hurt., oh, where am i? (runs for a few seconds, then sees PervMan) Oh hello, will you help me?
 * Pervman: Let Me Touch Your B**bs, LET ME TOUCH YOU B**BS!
 * Mandy: OH NO!
 * (Cuts to Pedro and Jacob)
 * Pedro: anyway, matulog nalang tayo!
 * Jacob: Sige.
 * (Cuts to Chuck and Russel)
 * TBA
 * (Plane Lands Safely)
 * Pedro: OH MY GOD!, DAMN!, well atleast we are safe Jacob

Alpha Female Lexi

 * TBA
 * Cory: Lexi, that was so wack...... |||-_-
 * TBA
 * Lexi: (punches Zoey in the eye) F*CKER! (throws her to the ground and begins kicking her) DIE! DIE! DIE! (Keeps kicking her)
 * Cory: (arrives) what's going o- (sees violence between the cousins) OH MY GOD!!!, (backs off and runs)
 * Lexi: F*CK!
 * (Zoey tries to get up but Lexi pushes her down and continues to attack her while she's down)
 * TBA

The Kramer Twins

 * TBA
 * June: (Slaps Charlotte's *ss) Nice butt bimbo.
 * Charlotte: What the f*ck?!, why did you slap my *ss?
 * June: Oh nothing......haha (walks away)
 * TBA
 * Pedro: (chuckles)
 * Speaker: I sucked his c************ck, it's swollen!-
 * (Julie covers her ears as the music continues)
 * Leonard: That was disgusting!, UGH!
 * (Pedro laughs)

Debuts

 * Episode 1
 * Ian Kai Anderson
 * Bianca Anderson
 * Vincent Anderson
 * Zoey Stegmann
 * Kevin Cartman
 * Mariane Marshall
 * Pedro Villainueva (Cameo)
 * Episode 2
 * Pedro Villainueva (Speaking role)
 * Felipe Freeman
 * Charlotte Yamamoto
 * Episode 3
 * Owen Gisnep
 * Mikey Gisnep
 * Episode 4
 * Thomas Timber
 * Hikari Miyamoto
 * Ayane Miyamoto
 * PP Parker
 * Reggie Anderson
 * Regina Anderson
 * Episode 5
 * Episode 6
 * Jesse Testaburger
 * Leanne Stegmann
 * Episode 7
 * Dade (Only Appearance)
 * Bandy (Only Appearance)
 * Episode 8
 * Micheal "Uncle Brody" Ong
 * Petunia Adachi
 * Kyle Watterson
 * Episode 9
 * Kenai Matsuda
 * Oswald Durack
 * Episode 10
 * Mandy (Only Appearance)
 * Chuck (Only Appearance)
 * Russel (Only Appearance)
 * Jacob Calcetas
 * Episode 11
 * Lexi Omega
 * Cory Omega
 * Episode 12
 * Julie Kramer
 * June Kramer
 * Leonard Gellick
 * Leonard Gellick

Deaths

 * Unnamed Civilians - Dies in the bus on impact after Bandy threw them, which also crushed Zoey

Zoey Stegmann

 * The Grimace Shake - She drops dead after drinking the grimace shake
 * Monday Left Him Broken - Laughs to death
 * No More Pride - She doesn't die
 * PP Parker - Her first death was avoided by PP Parker, but the 2069 man later pulled a "Canon Event" on her, killing her
 * The Pink Sauce Truck - Shat herself to death after taking Pink Sauce, as she mistook Pink Sauce for Pepto Bismol
 * Dade and Bandy - She gets crushed by a bus Bandy threw 100 feet up.
 * Uncle Brody - Ate a steak that is marinated by 3 sticks of butter, got a heart attack
 * The Plane Farter - Accidentally gets farted to death by Russel
 * Alpha Female Lexi - She doesn't die, but ends up with a blackeye after Lexi punched her during an arguement, Lexi later pushed her and kicks her while she's down, Lexi was stopped by her parents (or Zoey's aunt and uncle-in-law) and got grounded for Zoey's said injuries

Trivia

 * Coincidentally the Season finale aired on JazzyStar123's 18th birthday
 * The episode "The Airline Farter" is inspired by TheBestGroup1234's parody on one of TotallyStudios' videos, and the video "Sonic Kills Amy" (The latter for the scene of Mandy and Pedro)
 * Julie is autistic like Zoey Taylor, unlike the latter however, Julie only acts as a girly girl, but she's somewhat mature and she knows what she's doing.