Stacy and Eric Know What Calvin Did 2 Nights Ago transcript

[Drumroll Sounds]

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, people of all ages, it's time for Calvin and Hobbes the Series!"

[Music Playing In Background]

Who's got the grand sense of a big adventure?

Calvin and Hobbes

with a cardboard box and a time censor?

Calvin and Hobbes

a wild imagination that's a cause for trouble?

Get on over here and praise them on the double?

Calvin and Hobbes

[Spoken] "Ready, everybody?"

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin and Hobbes......

Episode title card: Melanie and Brian Know What Calvin Did 2 Nights Ago

Scene 1: The Johnson family's house/the lunch table
Calvin: "Hey, Mom, Dad, guess what? I got my list of things of what me, Albert, Lucas and Toby are gonna do at Albert's sleepover party."

Brian: "Read it to me and your mother, Calvin."

Calvin: "Well, there's super fun games and activities, karaoke dance off party music, and don’t forget this year's spooky monster movie, Vampire Clowns."

Melanie: "Vampire Clowns? oh, Calvin, you won't be watching that movie this evening, we know vampire clowns."

Calvin: "But, Mom, Dad, everybody's watching it."

Flashback sequence……..

Melanie: "Now remember, those vampire clowns are just young actors."

Max shows up in a vampire clown mask.

Melanie: "That was super close."

'Max: "You should've seen the looks on your face."

End flashback sequence……

Melanie: "We haven’t looked at any clowns or any vampires in ages."

Brian: "And besides, Calvin, the movie's rated PG 13 for parents strongly cautioned."

Calvin: "But, Mom, Dad, everybody at the sleepover party is watching the movie, what can I do around here?"

Cut to Calvin (with Hobbes), Kaitlin, Melanie and Brian in the Johnson family's car…….

Brian: "What’s a 9 letter word for non PG 13 fun and excitement? crossword!"

The car pulls up at the Jefferson's driveway, and Calvin gets out with all of his crossword puzzle books.

Melanie: "Now, Calvin, we know that you know that we forbid you to watch the movie."

Calvin: “I know, Mom, I know.”

Brian: "And we also know that you know that we can trust you."

Calvin: "I know that already."

Calvin walks right up, almost to where Albert, Toby and Lucas are waiting.

Calvin: "My entire Friday evening is a total bust."

Hobbes: "There's nothing you can do about it, Calvin, parents forbidding something is like calling dibs or eating potato wedges in a drive-thru, it's practically true love."

Calvin: "I just wish they'd understand about my entire love for this Halloween stuff."

Calvin walks right up to where Albert, Toby and Lucas are standing.

Albert: "Hey, Calvin, we're so thrilled that you could make it."

Calvin: "I know, you guys, it’s super fun and thrilling, but I'm gonna do 1 of my crossword puzzle books while you all are watching the movie."

Calvin takes out 1 of his crossword puzzles to entertain himself.

Albert: "Alright, who’s up for Vampire Clowns?!?"

Toby: "Super thrilling!"

Albert puts the Vampire Clowns DVD disc in the DVD player, and the movie begins playing on the plasma television screen.

Fireman (Marty Gibson): "Hurry, let's get outta here!"

Sales Woman (Nancy Thompson): "The Vampire Clowns are coming this way!"

Calvin: (looking up from his crossword puzzle book) “Whoa, super incredibly thrilling!”

Meanwhile, Calvin (with Hobbes), Albert, Toby and Lucas are now asleep.

Suddenly, an image of the Vampire Clowns causes Calvin to have a faint attack.

The very next day, back home at the Johnson family's house
Kaitlin: "Hey, Calvin, how was the sleepover party?"

Calvin: [Nervously In Fear] "Uh, pretty good, Kaitlin, super thrilling."

Calvin goes up to his bedroom and gets ready for school himself.

The Ontario Elementary School cafeteria lunch room
Calvin is fast asleep, but suddenly he has a peculiar disturbing dream and vision.

Calvin: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Susie: "Hey, Calvin, are you alright? what just happened?"

Calvin: "I uh, dreamt that they ran outta the good double decker cheeseburgers that I really enjoy more than anything, what's the point?"

Back at home, Calvin is asleep in his bed, but it happens again.

Calvin: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH, NOT AGAIN!"

Melanie: "Calvin, are you alright?"

Brian: "We could hear you tossing and turning and screaming from in here."

Calvin: "I uh, dreamt that Roger and the Off Beats broke up."

Melanie: "Don’t worry about it, Calvin, I'm pretty sure they're still rocking our universe."

Calvin goes back to sleep again.

Later…….

Albert: "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

Lucas: "Well, we sneak around and pretend we're vampire clowns."

Toby: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, ‘cause that means somebody’s mother must be getting all riled up.”

Meanwhile in the upstairs restroom…….

Calvin: "Vampire Clowns, they're coming this way, run away, everybody, run away!"

Melanie: (from outside the upstairs restroom) "Vampire Clowns, Calvin? as in Vampire Clowns?!?"

Kaitlin: "Isn’t that the movie you and Dad specifically told Calvin not to watch?"

Calvin opens the restroom door……

Brian: "We have strictly forbidden you to watch that movie, you’re in big trouble now, young man, you just-"

Calvin: "Oh, Mom, Dad, it's you, I was real terrified!"

Later, back in Calvin's bedroom…….

Melanie: "Calvin, next time you do something wrong like watch the movie or break somebody's ceramic vase, you should at least come to me or your father for help and advice."

Calvin: "I know, Mom and Dad, I was just too terrified and nervous to tell you guys."

Brian: "Well, you know something? those vampire clowns are just young television and movie actors."

Calvin: "So I guess they're not real after all."

Melanie: "Now we can all go back to bed again."

Fade to another black screen.

Voice Cast Members Credits
Laura Bailey as Calvin Johnson (voice)

Quinton Flynn as Hobbes (voice)

Alex Borstein as Melanie Johnson (voice)

Mike Judge as Brian Johnson (voice)

Danny Cooksey as Albert Jefferson (voice)

Bailee Madison as Susie Derkins (voice)

Nika Futterman as Toby O'Conner (voice)

Grey DeLisle Griffin as Lucas Albertson (voice)

Maurice LaMarche as the Fireman (Marty Gibson) (voice)

Tress MacNeille as the Young Woman (Nancy Thompson) (voice)