Madame Upanova's Ballet School/transcript

Madame Upanova: Hello, music lovers, welcome to my ballet school. I'm Madame Upanova and these are all my students.

Ostrich 1: Hi there.

Upanova: Today, we're going to show you all the ballet moves that some people never saw before. OK, girls, are you ready?

Ostrich 2: I am.

Ostrich 3: Me too.

Upanova: OK then. Let's start with the warmup. First, you start by stretching your arms, or wings if you are an ostrich.

Ostrich 4: Like this?

Upanova: Exactly. Then, you stretch your legs one by one far and wide. What I didn't realize is that one of my students that I have woken up shed her feathers exercising her legs. Obvious, isn't it? You can also do the plié even during exercises. Humans bend their knees keeping their lower legs back, but we ostriches do the opposite. Once you have warmed up, you are ready to dance.

Ostrich 5: What's next, master?

Upanova: This is going to be easy, my student. We go with the en pointe. Lift your heels up and start slowly with the seventh position. You can also turn around doing so a little faster.

Ostrich 6: Maybe I can lift my wings in the air at the same time.

Upanova: Great strategy. You can, of course, also carry any object while dancing the seventh position like my ribbon wand. It's pink like my personality. Another simple technique is the pirouette and I know some people can do it. I can too. *twirls around with ribbon*

Ostrich 7: Wow, master, that is terrific!

Upanova: Why, thanks. Let's do it together, shall we? *raises her ribbon in the air and all twirl*

Ostrich 8: That was fun!

Ostrich 9: I can barely believe we can do it in a concert!

Ostrich 10: Yeah, all of Disney might see this.

Upanova: OK, girls, let's move on to the challenged ones starting with the adagio. Now, the adagio is a sign of courtship from a ballerina to her masculine counterpart. She keeps on dancing gracefully and he comes to her. With both your heels up, you lift one leg in the air and keep another on the ground. You can switch legs doing the same technique.

* all inhale and exhale*

Ostriches: Got it, Ms. Upanova.

Upanova: Great! Now, let's do the balancé. Bounce while switching your legs and sway your arms to the side where your leg extends. We ostriches can do the same with our wings. If you have a hard time doing it, you can copy us slowly so you will learn.

All: Wings up!

* music starts playing and they dance*

Upanova: Now, it's time to do the chassé. Ready, girls?

Ostriches: Ready, master.

Upanova: All right. Here's how it's done. Run little steps and jump. Kick your legs up wide while in the air. *all run and jump* I know it's hard for some people to stretch their legs wider, but the kids must learn it before they grow up.

* all jumping in order*

Ostrich 1: Oh, my feathers!

Ostrich 2: Holy dove!

Ostrich 3: That's graceful!

Ostrich 4: I can't believe how amazing it is!

Ostrich 5: Me neither!

Ostrich 6: Sweet!

Ostrich 7: Didn't know I've learned it.

Ostrich 8: Yeah, it cheers me.

Ostrich 9: Nice!

Ostrich 10: Call my family about that.

Upanova: OK. Let's move on to the deboulé. First, turn halfway around twice with one leg. Then, pirouette all around with the other leg. Keep on going with the en croix and do the faille. Follow it with the grand jeté and go with the pas de chat. Finish with the split and da, da-da-da! You pose! Now, let's get this performance started! To the stage, girls, it's showtime!

Ostriches: Yay!

All: Ostrich power! *leaving the studio as music stops*

* the audience offscreen applauds as the curtain onstage opens*

Upanova (holding the microphone amplified): Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. My students and I have learned all of the ballet moves as a class of ostriches and for tonight's performance, we are going to do it all in order with the accompaniment of the orchestra playing a medley of classical pieces. Maestro, please. *puts the microphone back on the stand and starts to dance*

Ostriches (as the orchestra begins playing): Wow! *double blink, they join in* Whoo!

* orchestra continues as Upanova does her ribbon wand tricks*

Ostrich 1: Hey!

Ostriches 2 & 3: Hey!

Ostriches 4, 5 & 6: Hey!

Ostriches 7, 8, 9 & 10: Hey!

Ostriches: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

* Upanova finishes the dance and does the split as she poses with all her ostrich students*

All: Ha!

* crowd cheering as all ostriches taking a bow with flowers being tossed onstage*

Upanova: We had all the fun that I think we really deserve. As you can see, that crowd really likes our perfect dancing and they've given us some flowers. *catches some bouquets* Oh! *smells them* Ahh, it smells really good. Thank you for coming to my ballet school and participating in it. We ostriches will see you later.