Crash Bandicoot and Sonic the Hedgehog Adventures: Ratbot the Pirate Transcript

This is the transcript for the 1st Power Gem Saga episode "Ratbot the Pirate" of Crash Bandicoot and Sonic the Hedgehog Adventures.

Transcript
(The episode begins with a view outside Cortex's fortress as the camera zooms in on it. Inside Cortex's fortress, Dr. Cortex impatiently taps his right foot and looks over at the watch on his left wrist.)

Dr. Cortex: It's time!

(Cortex walks up to Professor Caninestein, who is building a time machine)

Dr. Cortex: This thing should have been finished hours ago!

(Cortex points his left index finger at Caninestein)

Dr. Cortex: You're stalling, aren't you, Professor Caninestein?

(Caninestein, who is holding a wrench in his right hand, turns to face Cortex)

Professor Caninestein: I can't go through with this! My theories of time und space were developed for peace, not for your evil schemes

Dr. Cortex: Oh, that's all right, Professor. You don't have to do anything you don't want to... as long as you don't mind being thrown into a dungeon full of snakes and eating rats for the rest of your life!

(Caninestein gets back to working on the time machine, and grabs a cable in each hand. The time machine starts up.)

Professor Caninestein: Um, uh, it's f-f-f-finished!

Dr. Cortex: At last! (Hugs the time machine) My very own time machine! Now I can proceed with my cleverest plan of all time! Gathering the four most powerful items in the history of N.Sanity Island... (Pulls down a projectile screen) The all-powerful Power Gems! With them, I shall possess... (Points at the at the respective Power Gem with his pointer) Invisibility, invincibility, immortality, and finally, the power of life itself! With the Power Gems, no one can stop me from becoming the Supreme High Cortex Commando Leader! (Folds his pointer and walks to his time machine) Today, N.Sanity Island, tomorrow, the universe!

(N.Gin & Nitrus Brio walk in)

N.Brio: Good morning, Cortex.

(Cortex growls at Brio. N.Gin and N.Brio walk up to the time machine)

N.Gin: Is this some sort of fan machine? How about I try it out!

(N.Gin gets into the driver's seat, and Cortex stares in shock)

Dr. Cortex: No! That's my time machine (Runs up to the time machine)

N.Gin: What?

(N.Gin pushes the lever forward with his left hand. The time machine disappears, leaving behind a cloud of dust, and N.Brio flinches as he stands atop the table as Cortex runs up to him. Cortex then turns to face Caninestein)

Dr. Cortex: Where did he go?

Professor Caninestein: Ze time controls were set for 300 years ago.

(The Time Machine re-appears atop Brio, with N.Gin as a roast turkey on a plate standing above it. Cortex and Caninestein run up to him.)

N.Gin: Aah! Get me out of this!

(N.Brio pulls his head out from underneath)

N.Brio: I suppose the pilgrims who stuffed you in that turkey tried to eat you?

N.Gin: And they would say I taste lousy!

Dr. Cortex: Ha! It works! (Laughs as he jumps into the driver's seat, he then turns to N.Gin and N.Brio) Brio! N.Gin! Get in! We've got work to do!

(Brio and N.Gin jump into the passenger seats, and Cortex pulls the lever forward with his left hand. The time machine disappears, and Caninestein stumbles back and hits the wall. A lantern above him gets knocked loose, falls, and covers his head. The door opens on it, and Caninestein groans.)

Professor Caninestein: What have I done? Cortex must be stopped!

(Caninestein runs away. The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place on the beach of N.Sanity Island with Crash Bandicoot sleeping on the couch and Coco Bandicoot on her tablet while Aku Aku is watching them.)

Coco: Ahh. A nice sunny day with no Cortex and his goons causing trouble.

(Soon, a portal opens as Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails and Caninestein exit as Caninestein walks up to Crash)

Professor Caninestein: Excuse me, are you Crash Bandicoot? (Notices Crash is sleeping deeply)

Aku Aku: Crash. Crash! CRASH!

(Crash finally wakes up, bouncing off the couch and falling to the ground in sudden shock.)

Coco: Sorry, sir. My big brother is always a big sleeper. Who are you guys, anyway?

Sonic: I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Tails: My name's Miles Prower. But you can call me Tails.

Professor Caninestein: I am Professor Caninestein, "The Theory of Irrelativity", "E-Flat Equals MC Squared"

Sonic: Get to the point, Professor.

Professor Caninestein: Oh, of course. Do you three know the name "Dr. Neo Cortex"?

Coco: Yes. He created Crash, why do you ask?

Tails: Cause Professor Caninestein built him a time machine to go back in time to get the Power Gems of invisibility, invincibility, immortality, and the power of life.

Coco: Oh no. if Cortex gets those, he'll be unstoppable!

Sonic: Yep, and you guys know this guy more than us. So are you all in?

(Crash gives Sonic a thumbs up)

Aku Aku: Alright, everyone. I will take us after Cortex.

Sonic: But you don't have a time machine.

Aku Aku: I don't need one if I'm a magic mask. Now, we must hurry.

(Aku Aku teleports Crash, Coco, Sonic and Tails after Cortex, N.Gin, and N.Brio)

(Inside the time warp, Cortex, N.Gin and N.Brio are riding in their time machine)

N.Gin: Approaching time-space coordinates in three seconds! Two, one!

(N.Gin pulls the lever forward with his left hand.)

N.Brio: Hang on, we're going down!

(The three doctors scream as they fall. The screen transitions to a view of a seagull flying through the air in pirate times. The seagull lands on the edge of the crow's nest of Captain Ratbeard's pirate ship. Captain Ratbeard is behind the wheel of his pirate ship.)

Captain Ratbeard: Yo ho ho, and a bottle of...

(Before Ratbeard can finish, sparks of electricity emit from his beard)

Captain Ratbeard: What in shark's breath?!

(N.Gin and Cortex scream, along with N.Brio, all into the water, which splashes Ratbeard. Under the water. Cortex turns to face N.Gin and grabs him by his missile on his head, causing N.Gin to scream in pain)

Dr. Cortex: Get me on the deck of that ship, you rocket head of the sea!

N.Gin: Yes, Dr. Cortex!

(N.Gin pulls the lever forward with his left hand. The time machine disappears, much to the bewilderment of a passing fish, with clouds resembling exclamation points emitting from him. He turns to face the viewers and shrugs his fins, with clouds resembling question marks emitting from him. The time machine reappears on the deck of Ratbeard's ship, and Cortex now has an octopus on his face, and he grunts as he removes it with his left hand. The octopus lands on N.Gin. Who then removes it and throws it back into the water. Cortex walks out of the time machine and screams as he lands with a thud. N.Brio then falls out of the time machine)

N.Brio: Sorry about that, Cortex.

(Cortex tries to get back up, Brio falls over and lands with a thud. Ratbeard walks up to them)

Captain Ratbeard: No one steps foot on Ratbeard's ship uninvited,

(Ratbeard pulls his sword out of his holster with this right hand)

Captain Ratbeard: And stays in one piece!

Dr. Cortex: Brio! Show this ignorant pirate who's boss!

N.Brio: Yes, Cortex! (Takes out a potion and drinks it, turning himself into a multi-handed pirate and goes up to Ratbeard) En guarde!

(Ratbeard slashes his sword at Brio, N.Brio looks down at his body)

N.Brio: Ha! Never touched me! (Falls into pieces and screams) Alright, so you nicked me.

Dr. Cortex: N.Gin! Take care of him!

(N.Gin jumps out of the time machine and lands near Ratbeard)

N.Gin: Give up, you fool! I'm a black belt! (Laughs)

Captain Ratbeard: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a rat-beard!

(Ratbeard pulls out a pair of nunchucks in each hand, and N.Gin screams as he stares in shock. He then tries to run away as Ratbeard whips him with the nunchucks. N.Gin, who is now shaped into a ball, groans as one of the nunchucks lands near him. Ratbeard points his index finger at Cortex)

Captain Ratbeard: And how are you going to try to stop me, you scurvy mug of shrimp guts?

Dr. Cortex: Actually, what I had mind was.. (Pulls out his Cortex Robot Transmogrifier Ray and points it at Ratbeard) Blasting you with my Cortex Robot Transmogrifier Ray!

(Cortex fires his Cortex Robot Transmogrifier Ray at Ratbeard, turning him into Ratbot. He walks up to Ratbot and puts his left hand on his left shoulder.)

Dr. Cortex: Now I give the orders! Isn't that right, Ratbot the Pirate?

Ratbot: Aye aye, Captain Cortex!

Dr. Cortex: Good! I understand you have a treasure map show the location of a certain large gem!

(Ratbot nods his head "Yes". Cortex then holds out his right arm.)

Dr. Cortex: Show me!

(Ratbot walks away, and Cortex follows behind him. Cortex then slips on a puddle of water and groans as he falls over. Ratbot walks into his cabin and Cortex runs behind him. Ratbot then picks up a tiny treasure chest with both his hands. It opens, revealing a treasure map inside, which Cortex takes with his left hand as the camera zooms in on him)

Dr. Cortex: There it is! (Unfolds the map with his right hand) The location of the Power Gem of Invisibility!

(Back in the time warp, the four heroes were still flying through)

Aku Aku: I can sense Cortex, he is in this exact time zone.

(The heroes then disappear as the screen transitions to a view of Ratbot's pirate ship. Cortex is now dressed as a pirate captain, N.Gin is dressed in a pirate hat, and N.Brio is dressed in a bandana. As Ratbot is behind the wheel of his ship, Cortex pulls out a sword with his left hand and points it as N.Gin walks up the stairs.)

Dr. Cortex: Head due east till' we get to Shark Island!

Ratbot: Aye, Captain!

(The sounds of Crash spinning and Sonic running can be heard, and Cortex stares in shock as Crash and Sonic went through the sail knocking it down, and causing it to cover Cortex, N.Gin, N.Brio and Ratbot. N.Gin gets up from under the sail, and Cortex crawls out from underneath.)

Dr. Cortex: What was that?

N.Gin: Fighter jet?

(N.Gin pulls the sail off of Ratbot with both his hands)

Dr. Cortex: There's no jets in the years of pirates, you idiot!

(N.Gin backs up nervously, and trips over Brio, who is covered up by the sail)

N.Gin: Whoa-ho-ho!

(N.Brio gets back up from under the sail and lifts the Crash and Sonic-shaped holes in it with his left hand)

N.Brio: Uh-oh, I think I know who it was!

Dr. Cortex: Who?

(Brio grabs the rope that lifts the sail with both his hands, and he pulls on it, lifting up the sail, and revealing Sonic, Tails, Crash & Coco holes in it)

Dr. Cortex: No! it can't be! (Jumps up and down furiously) Crash won't be born for another 300 years!

(Crash, Coco, Sonic and Tails are now standing atop the ship's mast, and Sonic is leaning against it by his left arm)

Sonic: That gives you plenty of time to get Crash a birthday present.

Dr. Cortex: WHAT?! There's a hedgehog and a fox with the bandicoots?! Blast the bandicoots and their friends to the bottom of the ocean!

N.Brio: Yes, Captain!

(N.Gin and N.Brio runs towards a cannon. N.Brio then puts a cannonball in it with both his hands)

N.Gin: Ready!

(N.Brio aims the cannon at Crash and Sonic)

N.Gin: Aim!

(N.Gin pulls out a match with his left hand and lights the cannon's fuse with it)

N.Gin: Fire!

(N.Brio covers his ears with both his hands as the cannon fires. He and N.Gin then hold each other)

Coco: Incoming, Crash!

Sonic: Hit the deck, Tails!

(Crash grabs Coco's hand while Tails grabs Sonic's right wrist with his left hand and flies into the air while the bandicoots jump off the mast. The cannonball hits the top of the mast, causing it to fall over. Cortex stares in shock and screams, then groans in pain as the mast hammers him into the deck, with Crash and Sonic leaned against a stack of barrels and watching behind him. The camera zooms in on Sonic and Crash. N.Gin then screams and points his left index finger at Crash and Sonic.)

N.Brio: There they are!

(N.Brio aims the cannon at Sonic and Crash. N.Gin then pulls out another match with his left hand and lights the cannon with it.)

N.Gin: Fire!

(The cannon fires a cannonball at Crash and Sonic, and pushes N.Gin and N.Brio away. Sonic is now standing atop the barrels as he combs his quills with a comb he is holding in his left hand while Crash is looking at himself in a mirror with his right hand.)

Sonic: Waiting for cannonballs is so boring! Right, Crash?

Crash: (Nods his head "Yes")

(Sonic grabs Crash's hand and runs away, causing the cannonball to hit the barrels, causing them to roll towards Cortex, who stares in shock at them.)

Dr. Cortex: Oh no!

(Cortex groans in pain as the barrels bounce off his head. N.Gin & N.Brio then look around)

N.Gin: Where'd they go?

(Crash opens a cellar door with his right and pops out with Sonic)

Sonic: Here we are!

(Crash closes the cellar door, N.Gin & N.Brio stare in shock, and the former jumps atop the latter.)

N.Brio: Whoa!

N.Gin Aaah!

(Brio aims the cannon at the cellar door. N.Gin pulls out a match with his right hand and lights the cannon's fuse with it.)

N.Gin: Fire!

(The cannon fires at the cellar door, breaking a hole in it and the port side of the ship, and causing clouds of smoke to emit from them. Cortex angrily runs up to them)

Dr. Cortex: You morons! Sink Crash, not our ship!

(Crash goes up behind Cortex and waves his right hand at N.Gin & N.Brio)

Crash: (Greeting gibberish)

(N.Gin and N.Brio aim the cannon at Crash)

N.Gin: Ready!

(N. Gin pulls out a match with his right hand and lights it.)

N.Gin: Aim!

(Cortex stares in shock and screams as Crash runs away. He then holds out both his hands like stop signs at N.Gin and N.Brio)

Dr. Cortex: Don't!

(N.Gin lights the cannon's fuse)

N.Gin: Fire!

(Cortex tries to run away, but only runs in place)

Dr. Cortex: NO!

(The cannonball lands behind Cortex and blows a hole in the ship, emitting a cloud of smoke and launching Cortex into the air. Cortex groans as he flies through the sail, ripping a Cortex-shaped hole in it. Cortex then lands on the steering wheel and gets spun around by it.)

Dr. Cortex: Whoa!

(The ship's wheel launches Cortex in the air, and Cortex groans as he lands with a thud, and the spokes of the wheel hit his face. N.Gin and N.Brio look around, and unknown to the latter, Coco sneaks up behind him.)

N.Brio: The bandicoot's got to be around here somewhere!

(Coco pulls out a set of cardboard hair that have glue on the bottom with her left hand, and puts them on top of Brio's head. She is also holding a bucket of orange paint in her right hand and pulls the brush out of it with her left, which she uses it to paint Brio orange with. She then pushes Brio forward with both her hands.)

N.Brio: What the?

(Coco sneaks away as N.Brio looks around. Tails flies up to N.Gin and points his right index finger at Brio.)

Tails: There's Crash! Get him!

(N.Gin looks over at the orange cardboard hair on N.Brio. He aims the cannon at him, then pulls out a match with his right hand, which he lights the cannon's fuse with. He then plugs his ears with his index fingers as the cannon fires a cannonball at N.Brio. Brio's science coat lands near N.Gin)

N.Gin: Whoo-hoo-hoo! I got him! I got the infernal bandicoot!

(N.Gin picks up N.Brio's coat and runs towards Cortex with it)

N.Gin: Dr. Cortex! Look, I got Crash Bandicoot! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Cortex growls as N.Brio walks towards N.Gin blackened from the blast with his underwear still on and takes back his coat)

N.Brio: This is why I never should have made you first-mate.

(Cortex growls as he slaps both N.Brio and N.Gin in the face with his right hand. He then groans as he pulls his right hand down his face.)

Dr. Cortex: I'm surrounded by idiotic scientists!

(Sonic chuckles as he stands atop the mast and the camera zooms out on him. He points his right index finger at Cortex)

Sonic: You tell him, Cortex! The least they could do is give me a challenge

(Ratbot walks up to Sonic. He swats his sword at him, but Sonic dodges.)

Ratbot: I'll give you one, you blue bilge rat!

(Sonic backs up, but loses his balance over the edge of the mast.)

Sonic: Whoa-oa!

(Crash jumps into Coco's arms in fear as Coco groans and Tails stares in shock)

Tails: Sonic! Watch out!

(Ratbot pokes his sword at Sonic's stomach, and Sonic grins nervously)

Ratbot: Any last words, Hedgehog?

Sonic: Now that you mention it, I do!

(Sonic hits the mast with his right foot, causing it to shake)

Sonic: (Singing) Rock-a-bye, Ratbot, on the mast top,

(Sonic jumps into the air and lands on the other side of Ratbot)

Sonic: (Singing) When Sonic spins, get ready to flop,

(Sonic cuts through the mast and Ratbot stares in shock at him)

Sonic: (Singing) When the mast breaks, the pirate will fall, and down will come Ratbot,

(Ratbot falls through the deck of the ship, leaving a Ratbot-shaped hole in it. Tails, Crash & Coco run up to the hole)

Sonic: (Singing) Peg leg and all!

Coco: Cool move, Sonic.

(The camera moves behind Crash, Coco, & Tails as Ratbot breaks another hole in the ships deck. He is holding a rope in his left hand as he grabs Tails with his right and the bandicoots with his tail)

Tails: Hey!

(Ratbot walks away. In the next scene, Tails, Coco, and Crash are tied up in the rope and backs onto the plank as Ratbot his sword at them)

Ratbot: Start walkin', scallywags!

Tails: Sonic!

(Sonic looks down at the bandicoots and Tails)

Sonic: I'm coming, guys!

(Sonic jumps into the water, Tails, Crash and Coco walk off the plank and falls)

Tails & Coco: Help!

(Tails, Crash & Coco fall in the water, they gasp for air as they poke their heads out. A blue fin circles counter-clockwise around them, and Coco, Tails, and Crash keeps their eyes on it as Crash whimpers)

Tails: Sonic, where are you?

(Sonic pokes his head out of the water, revealing his top quill to have looked like a shark's fin)

Sonic: Right here, Tails!

(Ratbot walks up to Cortex who looks down at Crash and Sonic)

Dr. Cortex: My Cortex Robot Transmogrifier Ray will take care of you!

(Cortex pulls out his Cortex Robot Transmogrifier Ray with his right hand. He aims it at Crash, and Crash, Sonic, Coco & Tails gasp as they duck into the water. The beam misses them. They then poke their heads out of the water.)

Crash: (Giggles)

Sonic: Boy, is he a bad shot!

(The camera zoom out on Cortex)

Dr. Cortex: That's what you think!

(Cortex laughs evilly as a loud rumbling sound can be heard. A robot whale swims out of the water, and Sonic, Tails, and the bandicoots stare in shock at it)

(Sonic, Crash, Tails & Coco try to swim away, but they scream as the robot whale closes its mouth over them, swallows them, and dives back into the water. The screen fades to black. In the next scene, a view of Ratbot's pirate ship is shown with N.Gin and N.Brio are on a lift. N.Gin is hammering planks of wood with a hammer he is holding in his right hand.)

Dr. Cortex: How are those repairs coming?

N.Brio: Almost finished, Dr. Cortex! We need one more piece of wood!

(N.Gin turns to face N.Brio)

N.Gin: Oh, sorry, I just used the last one!

N.Brio: Well, I'm not tell Cortex we've got nothing to patch the hole with!

(Brio points his right index finger at N.Gin)

N.Brio: You tell him! You're his favorite partner!

N.Gin: Oh no! I'm not telling him, he likes you best!

(N.Gin points his left index finger at Brio)

N.Gin: You tell him!

N.Brio: You're right, he does like me best! he won't get upset when I tell him!

(N.Gin and N.Brio turn to face their respective ropes and pull on them with both their hands, lifting the lift. When they reach the top, N.Brio chuckles nervously)

N.Brio: Uh, excuse me, Captain Cortex, but uh, we ran out of boards!

Dr. Cortex: So?

N.Brio: So there's... there's nothing to patch the hole with! Please don't hurt me! Please! Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Dr. Cortex: Why, don't be absurd, N.Brio. I would never hurt you. After all, you are my favorite partner.

(N.Brio turns to face N.Gin)

N.Brio: Told you so!

(Cortex holds up his right index finger)

Dr. Cortex: I know just the thing to patch the hole with!

(The screen transitions to the next scene, where Cortex is now on the lift, hammering with the hammer he is holding in his right hand.)

Dr. Cortex: There! That should do it!

(N.Brio is seen hammered into the ship by his coat)

N.Brio: Why did I agree to this?

N.Gin: Gee, being favorite isn't all it's cracked up to be!

(Ratbot is now steering the ship as Cortex, who is holding the map in his right hand, walks up to him)

Dr. Cortex: Get us to the island!

(Cortex unfold the map with both his hands)

Dr. Cortex: Full speed ahead!

Ratbot: Aye, captain!

(As Ratbot sails his ship away, the robot whale continues swimming underwater. Inside him, Sonic tries to spin his way out, but the tempered steel of the robot whale only sets his quills a fiery red. Sonic pants heavily as his quills turn blue again)

Sonic: Whoa! I'm overheating!

(Tails points his index finger at Sonic)

Tails: Looks like you won't be cutting us out of this robo-whale!

Coco: There must be some way out of here, and there it is!

(Coco points her index finger at a cable)

Aku Aku: Good find, Coco. Quickly, we must hurry.

(Sonic walks to where the cable leads as Tails, Crash & Coco follow close by. They soon reach the robot whale's control panel)

Tails: We're in the whale's head?

Coco: Right, and where there's a head, there's a brain! Except, of course, in Cortex's case.

(Coco walks up to the circuit breaker and pulls out a circuitboard with each hand.)

Coco: I'll just rearrange these computer control circuits!

(Coco puts the circuitboards in the places opposite of where they were before. The robot whale then swims confusedly, Coco then pushes some buttons with her index fingers then pulls a lever with both his hands. She then runs up to a plug, unplugs it with both her hands, and takes it over to the other socket, where she unplugs the other plug with both her hands. She then runs up to the control panel, grabs a lever in each hand, and pulls them back.)

Coco: It's time to sail, whale!

(The robot whale jumps out of the water and spins.)

Coco: Up, over and gone!

(The robot whale swims in the opposite direction. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Ratbot's ship approaches Shark Island, which is shaped like a Giant X. Cortex and Ratbot walk out of the water and onto shore.)

Dr. Cortex: N.Gin, get a move on!

(N.Gin is on the lift, holding a hammer in his right hand, which he uses to pull the nails that board N.Brio over the hole out with.)

N.Gin: Coming!

(N.Gin pulls the nail in N.Brio's coat out)

N.Brio: Ow! Watch it, this is my favorite lab coat!

(N.Gin pulls another nail out of N.Brio's coat, Cortex hands Ratbot the map with he is holding with his right hand, and Ratbot unfolds it with both his hands.)

Dr. Cortex: Lead the way, Ratbot!

(Ratbot folds the map back up and walk away, with Cortex following behind him. N.Gin follows behind Cortex, and N.Brio follows behind N.Gin with holes in his lab coat. As Ratbot cuts through the forest with the sword he is holding in his right hand, Cortex, N.Gin and N.Brio follow behind him.)

"More Coming Soon"