Kelloggs' Kitchen Kabaret Script

Bob the Tomato: And now, Kelloggs proudly presents a show that has the whole town-cooking!

Larry the Cucumber: The Kitchen Kabaret!

Bob the Tomato: Here's your hostess: Bonnie Appetit!

(Bonnie appears on the small stage to the right of the main stage.)

Bonnie: Oh dear, it's time for another meal. ''Yes there are days when I feel downcast, and get the mealtime blues. If I don't plan a proper meal, my menu will be bad news.

Oh, the mealtime blues can get you, every time you dine. But we all can beat that rap, and end up feeling fine.

So on those days when we feel downcast, I'll give you all some clues. To work magic in our kitchen, mmm yeah, and chase away the mealtime blues.

Now the timing's right, the show's prepared. Let me serve it on up, to you.''

(A Mr. Krabs -type voice is heard saying "OK Krackpots, let's get cooking! " as the Kitchen Krackpots rise up from the floor of the stage to perform "Chase Those Mealtime Blues Away." Bonnie shows up again on the small stage to the right of the main stage.)

Bonnie: Thank you folks for coming to my kitchen, as I sing the praise of good nutrition. Eating balanced meals can, keep you fit, feeling grand.

A variety at your three meals, can only improve, the way you feel.

The basic food groups make a perfect team, when balanced they are held in high esteem.

Dairy, bread, and cereals, meat, fruit, and vegetables.

They'll help you chase those blues, those lowdown, mealtime blues. They'll help you chase the blues away!

Bonnie: Thanks gang. That was a real spicy number. (Sighs) Aw they're such seasoned performers. Now, let's get things started with a real chilling act. Say hello to my friends, Mr. Dairy Goods and his Stars of the Milky Way!

(The refrigerator door opens with a cloud of frosty mist and Mr. Dairy Goods and the Stars of the Milky Way begin to sing.)

Mr. Dairy Goods: It's time to meet some beauties, at this, our rendezvous. We all come from the dairy, with moving words for you. With grace, and ease, here is- Miss Cheese! A delightful array of curds.

Miss Cheese: (depicted as Mozzarella; channeling Mae West) Your taste buds, I'll appease. I know how to please. It's known that I'm too good for words. Oh, isn't that right, big boy?

Mr. Dairy Goods: Oh it certainly is. It's nice to flirt with- Miss Yogurt! The love of many gourmets.

Miss Yogurt: Your palate is assured, I'm really quite cultured. Make a soured scene okay, and each and everyday

Mr. Dairy Goods: My what of course, often I dream of- Miss Ice Cream! A beauty who's charming and sweet.

Miss Ice Cream: Mmm, I'm cool through and through, and I've got a double scoop for you. To be with me baby, it's such a tasty treat.

Mr Dairy Goods: Now you have met my beauties. I think you will agree. These girls have such style, and taste that's heavenly.

(The refrigerator door then shuts. Bonnie appears again, this time on the left side stage.)

Bonnie: And now, direct from the bakeries of the East Coast, The Grain Sisters!

The Grain Sisters: Every cake you bake. Every milk you shake, every egg you break, we'll be part of you. Every single dish, and every frosting lick. Every fried chicken, like a secret wish, is a part of you. We must conclude, you depend on food, so we just repeat, you are what you eat. When cookies are in, Kelloggs is sure to please. Try a yogurt freeze, trust your health to these will be part of you.

Bonnie: I think I'll get together with the Toast of the Town for a jam session.

Eggz: Hold it! Hold the dialogue! I'll do the funny stuff Hamm.

Hamm: Now mind your manners, son. Don't forget, we're a team.

Bonnie: Sorry, fellas. Well, here they are. A real hot act to have come to us from a successful tour of the breakfast circuit, those breakfast buddies, Hamm & Eggz!

Eggz: Home, home on the range. And the pan with the butter-

Hamm: Not that song! The one we rehearsed.

Eggz: Oh!

Hamm: As members of the meat group, we would like to sing this song.

Eggz: And cook you up some ditties, as we're singing right along.

Hamm: At meals our act is very keen.

Eggz: We're choke full of protein.

Both: The meat group can help you keep strong!

Hamm: Now we'll really beef up this act.

Eggz: A -speaking of meat, let's tell them what happened down at the chicken coop, eh?

Hamm: A hungry fox boldly walked in through a hen house door.

Eggz: Too bad for him, he met a hen, who stood at ten foot four!

Hamm: He won't forget the lickin'.

Eggz: He got from that big chicken.

Both: Now he gets his poultry from the store!

Hamm: By the way, Mr. Eggz-

Eggz: Yeah!

Hamm: Why was Chicken Little so upset the other day?

Eggz: Well, his mother fell asleep in a hottub, and his brother was born hard boiled!

Hamm: One more joke like that and we'll get the hook.

Eggz: Hook! Say, that reminds me. What about the fish story?

Hamm: A school of fish grew tired of a bragging big mouth bass.

Eggz: "Why get straight A's?" He used to say, and so he would cut class.

Hamm: Oh, he should've stayed in school.

Eggz: A worm made him a fool.

Both: Now there's a test he did not pass!

Hamm: Hmm, Mr. Eggz, whatever happened to that tuna you used to work with?

Eggz: Oh, sad story. She got caught being fresh and was canned.

Hamm: You know Mr. Eggz, you're the first egg I've ever seen lay an egg.

Eggz: Oh yeah?

Hamm: Let's finish up before you get us in real trouble.

Eggz: Yes sir!

Hamm: At meals our act is very keen.

Eggz: We're choke full of high protein.

Both: The meat group can help you keep strong!

Eggz: Uh, say, Mr. Hamm, did I ever tell you about the time-

Hamm: Hold it right there! One more crack out of you and this act is finished!

Eggz: One more crack out of me and the yolks on you!

Hamm: That does it! We're through!

Eggz: Fine!

Hamm: Here's plenty of good protein acts for me to work with.

Eggz: Oh yeah? Like who?

Hamm: Cheese. Cheese is a great source of protein.

Eggz: Oh, I cheddar to think about it.

Hamm: Beans. Now there's a good-

Eggz: ! Oh, nuts to you, Hammy.

Hamm: That's right. Nuts to me! Another excellent source of protein.

Eggz: I can't take it. What are you going to do with a guy like this?

Colander Combo & Fiesa Fruit: ''Veggie fruit fruit. Veggie veggie fruit fruit. Veggie fruit fruit. Veggie veggie fruit.''

Bonnie: ''I simply have to tell you that my friends who are singing are delectable. Meals are divine as long as you can dine with fruit and vegetables. They're good for you, every one. They make your meals a lot of fun. Like a carnival. It's nice to be with fruit and vegetables.''

Bonnie: And now, ladies and gentlemen, those fresh, ripe performers, The Colander Combo and the Fiesta Fruit!

Colander Combo & Fiesta Fruit: There are no substitutes for we. Veggie fruit fruit. Veggie veggie fruit fruit. You see (can't you see) a balanced meal always wins with our vitamins, A and C. Si si fruit fruit. Veggie veggie fruit fruit. Veggie fruit fruit.

Mr. Broccoli: Cha-cha-cha!

(A crescent moon is lowered from the ceiling and Bonnie is sitting on it)

Bonnie: My friends are exciting, just like fireworks igniting, they're incredible.

Sparks always fly, each and every time you try, fruit and vegetables.

''They're inviting and delighting, anytime you're with them it's a treat, like a carnival. ''

It's nice to dine with fruit and vegetables.

Colander Cobo and Fiesta Fruit: Veggie fruit fruit. Veggie veggie fruit fruit. Veggie fruit fruit. Veggie veggie fruit fruit. Ole!

Mr. Broccoli: Cha-cha-cha!

Bonnie: We'd like to thank you all for listening to us. We hope you understand good nutrition's a must. Think of variety in balanced amounts. This is good for your health and that is all that counts.

Miss Cheese: Think of our commentary.

Miss Yogurt: And the foods from the dairy

Miss Ice Cream: Hey, it's not hard to imagine.

Mr. Dairy Goods: That we'll always be in fashion.

The Grain Sisters: Hey good people have you heard? Breads and cereals are the word. Tell your friends we have arrived. This group is hip to the jive!

Hamm & Eggz: Just remember with each meal, meats are such a tasty deal.

Hamm: Say goodbye to his bad jokes.

Eggz: we're going up in smoke, folks!

Coander Combo and Fiesta Fruit: Ole amigos! Don't forget, Veggie fruit fruit are a good bet. You'll enjoy us at each meal, because we have appeal.

Bonnie: Now you've heard my friends, they won't lead you astray. When you balance up their act, mealtime blues will go away.

All: The proper foods each time you dine, can keep you fit and feeling fine. Eating right's a healthy sign, and feeling good makes each day shine and shine!

Bob the Tomato: On behalf of Kelloggs Cereal Company, We like to thank you for enjoying our food for your ears. At this time, please gather all of your personal belongings and take small children by the hand as you exit through the open doors at the side of the theatre.

Larry the Cucumber: If you'd like to learn about Kellogg's delicious products, we invite you to visit Cookig with Chef Goofy Just Next to Camp Rock: The Final Jam Revue.

Bob: Well, That's Concludes This Show and Please Remember, Folks!

Larry: God Made You Special and He Loves You Very Much!

Both: Bye!

Bob:Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your Day of Discovery here at EPCOT Center.

Larry: Have Fun!