The simpsons: who really shot mr burns?/Transcript

(20th century fox logo from 2009-2020 plays)

* screen fades to black*

* a message appears*

narrator (nancy cartwright): this feature film, is produced with special help from gracie films and matt groening, whom which created the simpsons and futurama, this FACU entry is the MCU, but weird! enjoy the film! because the movie won't play itself.

spanish voice:¿Quién le disparó al Sr. Burns?

* screen fades to a blue sky background*

choir: the simpsons!

homer; who shot mr burns? i wanna know!

* springfield is shown and zoomed into springfield elementary.*

* bart writes " YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR, YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A PURSE, PIRACY IS STEALING" on the chalkboard and as he does, he hears the bell ring and rides his skateboard*

* meanwhile in music class, there's a choir and Lisa leaves the class while playing baby by justin beiber on her saxaphone*

* marge drives her car while maggie pretends to drive*

* homer is sitting watching the simpsons movie.*

* the tv shows a scene from the simpsons movie*

homer: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH! damn! this film was our own franchise!

* marge angrily stares at him*

marge: homie! we are waiting for the couch gag! you were meant to be at the nuclear factory! i mean, it's an animated family tradition to perform the theme song in front of a tv audience.

homer: but we're real life now! you know what! FORGET IT!

* homer walks angrily*

* the scene cuts to homer outside his house*

ned: homer! you feel down, just pray to god and a miracle will-

homer: no! what if i don't want to! it's just that! bland tradition! we do that every day! why don't you get one flanders?

ned: because i'm not the main protagonist! you are!

homer: now i wish i wasn't...HHMPH!

* ned looks confused*

ned: homer? hello? can i get an amen? homer?.... nevermind

* ned waters his plants with a sprinkler*

* the scene cuts to bart and millhouse hanging out near kwik-e mart*

bart: oh millhouse! i'm sorry i didn't come for your top secret event. we had to do our freakin' intro!

millhouse: it's okay! i understand, how about we gorge our faces with m&ms?

bart: BUTTERFINGERS!

millhouse: or butterfingers

* both enter to kwik-E mart and choose candy*

bart: twizzlers, wonka bars, skittles, tiddlywinks, aha! butterfingers, nobody better lay a finger on my butterfinger!

* two ladies walk in*

lady 1: kid! pass me the butterfinger *she points*

bart: no way jose!

lady 1: oh no you don't OMG that's so like damn stupid! bestie! could you help me!

lady 2: idk what to totally do but i will like do it.

* lady 2 chases bart*

bart: no i'm taking the whole box!

* bart runs as fast as possible*

bart: i have to prank her! i'm gonna check! gum, no, gum? aha!

* bart chews gum and puts it on the floors*

* lady 2 gets trapped and tries to get out*

lady 2: help! i'm stuck! bestie, idk what to like do!

* she tries to take her high heels off but her heels won't come off*

lady 2: crap! i guess i'm spending my date with chris here!

* the scene cuts to bart, millhouse and apu at the checkout*

apu: so you want all these candy bars?

bart: positive!

apu: ten dollars!

* bart gives apu ten dollars and a chewed up piece of gum*

apu: thank you- AAAAAAAH!!! my hand! it's covered! in a sticky substance! oh! no!

millhouse: you didn't need to do that bart.

bart: no i didn't, but i did it anyway""*nelson appears and throws a stink bomb at bart*

nelson: haha! better take a shower stink fart simpson!

bart: nelson!!!! i'm gonna get my revenge! just after i eat my box o' butterfingers

* bart eats his butterfinger*

millhouse: any for me?

* the scene cuts to lisa doing her homework*

lisa: i know most of this! x=7, what is linear, this math homework would be a piece of pi.

* marge comes in*

marge: lisa honey, just letting you know that dinner will be ready in 10 minutes

lisa: thanks for telling me, but i'm doing math homework.

marge: welp, i'll leave you with it, but i will call you when it's ready.

* marge closes the door and goes up to homer*

homer: hey margerine.

marge: homer? i'm not margerine, it's marge!

homer: i'm sorry, i keep thinking of food... mmm... food... deep fried...

marge: homer, i know, but dinner will be ready soon.. remember, we're a happy nuclear family, you may strangle bart but in the end, we're one big family having fun. *kisses homer*

homer: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than d'oh.

* usa flag appears*

homer: today's the day, no more play doh, no doh, no cookie doh, no toe, i ain't no d'oh jammer, i ain't no body, i'm home, homer simpson, i, homer of springfield.

* tv plays the news*

man anchorman: breaking news! the who shot mr burns mystery, is currently being solved!

* a picture of mr scam appears*

an american 60 year old man named mr scam is currently, solving the mystery in his private HQ, now we will know for sure who really shot the antagonist of the simpsons. here's a report from nancy cartwright

nancy: today, the mystery will be solved, not sure if it will but it might! so i'm gonna go and show you, yes you! how it's done!

mr scam: voice actress for bart, i'm sleeping! GET THE HELL OUT!

nancy: ok ok!

* mr scam throws water balloons at nancy*

* nancy runs screaming*

man anchorman: thank you nancy, and if you find the mystery yourself, let god know, you're doing a miracle. now time for daniel jeong with the weather.

* homer turns tv off*

homer: what a load of bullcrap- hey! oh my gosh! i'd better, oh my god, oh my goodness, i'd better tell my family the good news! the fresh news!

marge: homer, kids, dinner, hot meal, come and get it! before it gets icy cold!

homer: coming! *tries to get up but fails*

* scene cuts to mr scam and sierra scottie at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant*

mr scam: hmmm...okay..neat-O, neat.

sierra: what are you looking at mr scam?

mr scam: i don't know, probably some footprints or fingerprints or flipperprints-

sierra: okay okay! i get it scam! just don't mumble words when finding clues, it's annoying to me.

mr scam: *whispering* i don't wanna listen to you.

mr burns: well well well, tresspassers!

mr scam: you're alive? mr burns?

mr burns: i came out flopping like a fish, but maybe, maybe i will shoot you two, MWAHAHAHAHA!

mr scam: the only thing we can do now is PANIC!

* mr scam and sierra run screaming*

mr burns: don't you ever tresspass on someone's private property, you fools.

* mr burns reads a note from mr scam that he dropped on the floor*

* it zooms in onto the note*

* footprints sometimes lack evidence remember that.*

* the scene cuts to the family having dinner together*

homer: can i go to NBC news, for the report on mr burns?

marge: no! dinner is quality family time.

homer: family schmamily, i don't need them. i'm finished anyway.

* homer walks to the tv and pops open a duff beer*

marge: something's odd

lisa: should we tell him?

bart: no, let his crayon brain decide!

homer: WHY YOU LITTLE-*strangles bart*

marge: homer! stop! you keep doing that, we're breaking up! you're gonna kill him, geez louise.

bart: okay okay! i'm sorry, i'll give you 100 dollars! yes just for you! dad! i beg you!

marge: leave homer alone, i understand him, you don't why you little-*strangles bart*

lisa: aw YOU PARENTS COME ON! how many times, i'm a vegetarian. why did you put meatloaf on my plate?

maggie: hmm..*sucks on lollipop* well, i guess widdle lisa is sad wight?

* scene cuts to homer and marge sleeping, homer suddenly wakes up*

homer: i think i'm going to sneak downstairs, turn on the tv and watch ABC news, since fox news is terrible.

* homer sneaks downstairs*

* homer turns on the tv*

news anchorman: breaking *yawn* news everyone and welcome to the midnight-DO I HAVE TO DO THIS? anyways, on tonights story, a note from mr scam has been found.

homer: what? i'd better see

news anchorman: it says "footprints sometimes lack evidence remember that."

now, it's time for a commercial break.

homer: footprints sometimes lack evidence remember that. footprints sometimes lack evidence remember that? i'm gonna call mr scam right now!

* phone rings*

homer: hello? hmm n? yeah? oh my? yeah? guess what. i've found your note, i know right, aw shucks, oh yeah, see you there, bye!

marge: who was you talking to, it's 1 in the morning.

homer: nobody..uh...yeah nobody

marge: don't say it's mr scam.

homer: how did you know?

marge: i read all about him a few weeks ago...

homer: no way!

homer: i guess i'm not the only one to know about mr scam then.

* the next day title card appears*

* the scene cuts to the family meeting mr scam*

mr scam: nice to meet you *shakes hands with homer*

homer: nice to meet you too mr scam.

lisa: so called "mr scam" why are we here anyway?

mr scam: because together, we're going to solve the mystery for someone called mr burns. i'm currently solving the mystery on who solved mr burns, and i need you, yes you. your show is popular, correct?

homer: yea-wait what?

mr scam: what i'm trying to say is well... basically most people know you guys in this town, and today is your lucky day. so i chose you guys, via phone call and one cent

homer: one cent? *digs through his back pocket* here's one cent sir.

mr scam: good! now! let's start our journey