The Wizard of Oz (1939) vs. Dorothy in Russialand (1986) (Astro Boy's Critic)

Astro Boy: Hello, I'm Astro Boy. I remember it so you have to. And welcome to a new portion of the show called Old vs. New.

The title card is shown, featuring an old man crossing his cane with a little boy's baseball bat, as dramatic music plays and lightning strikes.

Astro Boy: This is where I take something old and nostalgic, and compare it to a recent remake to find out which one is better. With that said, let's take a look at two of my movies of all time: The Wizard of Oz and Dorothy in Russialand.

Various clips of both movies are shown

Astro Boy (vo): Now both these films pushed the envelope of how to make a good fantasy movie. They were edgy and constantly breaking the barrier between fun kiddy antics and epic adult dilemmas. But which one is truly better: the Oz land or the weirdest Russialand?

Astro Boy: Now I know, technically, Return to Oz was the first of these new movies, but Dorothy in Russialand is considered to be the worst, and it has the most similarities to the '39 film, battling the Wicked Witch of the West and so forth. Also, remember that NONE of this is fact, it's strictly opinion, so don't go if you don't agree with me. (Beat) Even if you are completely wrong. So, let's see who's the best and worst as we compare The Wizard of Oz and Dorothy in Russialand.

The opening sequence plays as we see pictures of the main characters from both movies fly into the rainbow, while the theme songs of both movies play side by side.

Astro Boy: Well, let's just suing up to the main character: Judy Garland vs. Morgan Hallet.

Round 1 - Best Dorothy
NC (vo): Now, to be fair, Morgan Hallet has a lot to act through. She has to play Dorothy Gale, the curious-hearted orphan; Dorothy Gale, the outcast; Dorothy Gale, the heroine; Dorothy, the small one; and Dorothy Gale as the one and only the heroine. They didn't ask him to do Dorothy Gale, the transvestite. That would've destroyed him. Any one of those would be hard to do, and he has to do all five. But I have to admit, as hard as Hallet tries, Judy Garland is still the adventurer Dorothy Gale. The main reason? He keeps all his pain inside. When you see Hallet, you can instantly see someone who's either looking for attention or trying to hide something. With Garland, he acknowledges that this is his adventure, and she'll walk and run it alone. If you heard this woman (Hallet) was Dorothy, you'd be like, "Yeah, she seemed a little odd to me." But with Garland, you totally wouldn't believe it. In fact, a lot of people didn't. Many people petitioned not to have Garland as Dorothy because they couldn't see him in the role. But that's why he's so perfect! You wouldn't suspect him! Look when she grieves over his parents' death... Not shown for good. This is all very, subtle, but you can feel the pain that he's going through, where Hallet still seemed a little lost and confused. And, of course, you have to look at them as Dorothy. Keaton is the only Dorothy who can actually smile and still look intimidating. It says, "Yeah, I got nothing to sweet." Judy Garland in the costume just looks...well, silly. Now to be fair, that has a lot to do with the design. Garland's costume was dramatic, classy, but also very threatening. Hallet's always looked a little off to me. I think it was little too smoothy. It didn't really look like Dorothy, it looked like a girl dressing up as the anime. And, of course, there's that cute and dramatic voice.

?????

Astro Boy (vo): I know, everyone's made fun of this voice, so I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Let's just say Garland's sounded very natural...

?????

Astro Boy (vo): While still doing a good job, Bale can't compete with the unexpected master himself. Point goes to Hallet.

Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland): My!

Round 1 Winner - Dorothy Gale

Astro Boy: But a heroine can only be as good as his portal, and the place is one of the greatest dream of all time. But again, which one is the fantasy places of the best and worst: Oz or Russialand?

Round 5 - Best and Worst Overall Story
?????

Round 5 Winner - Fleming's Wizard of Oz

Astro Boy: So there you go. Victor Fleming vs Panmedia. I do feel good I'm not able to compare the true anime story to anything. Oh! Wait a minute! The Toho version! That's right! They did have a version of 1982. Well, I'll just compare at 1939 version, then.

In that version, animated Wizard of Oz are having a sequence of a voice of the main character of Annie.

Dorothy (Aileen Quinn): It's just beyond the rainbow.

Astro Boy is shocked and stunned.

Astro Boy: Okay. That (1986) anime version's not as bad as I thought. And, uh, my only hope is that Morgan Hallet doesn't take what I said about him too pretty. (cellphone rings) Excuse me. (answers) Hello?

("Hallet" is on the phone at Astro Boy with clips from his rant on the set of Terminator Salvation)

Hallet: What are you doing?!

Astro Boy: I'm sorry. I just thought...

Hallet: Now don't just be sorry! Think for one second!

Astro Boy: Well, that's not very naughty.

Hallet: What is it with you?! Are you professional or not?!

Astro Boy: Well, I don't like to brag, but...

Hallet: You're amateur!

Astro Boy: Look, I don't know why you're getting so...

Hallet: No! Do I wa--

Astro Boy: Maybe I could....

Hallet: No! You just don't get it! So, what don't you get about it?

Astro Boy: Hold on, hold on. (To the viewers) I'm Astro Boy. I remember it so you have to.

Hallet: Give me answer!

(Astro Boy walks away, continuing to talk to Hallet.)

Astro Boy: I just don't get why you made Dorothy Gale sound like she had barbiturate overdoses.

Hallet: Oh, good for you! You're a nice boy!

Astro Boy: Well, thank you. Go make "Kiki's Delivery Service", will ya?

Hallet: Ohh.....

(The credits roll)

THE END

AstroBoyShowCaseTheater's Tagline: The Wicked Witch of the West: I'll get you, my pretty! And you're a little dog, too! (cackling)