The Mighty Thor (Marvel;Re)/Issue 1

The first issue of the Marvel;Re series The Mighty Thor.

Synopsis
Thor returns to Asgard after several months on Midgard. Unfortunately, the Asgardians are not happy with the fact he seems to be choosing Midgard over them.

Plot (unfinished)
Three dwarven blacksmiths bash away at a piece of metal with their hammers, using a massive star below them to heat the metal up.


 * Narrator: Three dwarves, Eitri, Buri, and Brokk, forged a weapon from the finest and most powerful metal in the known universe. Uru. Commissioned by the All-Father, Odin, the Dwarves went to work almost immediately but quickly realized their normal furnaces weren't enough to make the Uru metal hot enough to be forged into anything. So, instead, they used a star.

One of the dwarves lifts his hammer over his head and brings it down. Moments later, the star they were using as a furnace ignites and goes supernova.


 * Narrator: But even then, the star died in the process and nearly took several planets with it...

The dwarves kneel in front of Odin. One holds a hammer, presenting it to him.


 * Narrator: However, from the star's death was born what is quite possibly the greatest weapon in existence. While the dwarves made its hilt slightly short, this wasn't enough to withdraw from the weapon's obvious power, the likes of which even startled the mighty Odin. Odin knew that the hammer's strength was great and something of such immense power needed a powerful name. And so, he named it the strongest name he could think of... Mjolnir.

Odin smiles and picks the hammer up. Abruptly, it cuts countless years later. Odin is now much older and appears to be a lot grumpier. He sits on a golden throne in a large hall next to his wife, Freyja, who sits on a throne of her own, both being guarded by men in armor wielding battle axes. On his shoulder is a raven which is quickly accompanied by another raven that flies through a window and lands on Odin's other shoulder. The raven whispers something in Odin's ear.


 * Odin: He is still refusing to meet with us...? It's sad that I'm not surprised to hear that...

Odin lifts his arms and the ravens fly on to them.


 * Odin: Hugin, Munin, deliver a message to him for me. Tell him that I am his father and, not just that, I am the All-Father... Remind him that I rule over all of Asgard and all of Asgard bows down to me. And then tell him that I demand him to come back home. And make sure to make it clear that I'm not asking him this time. I'm telling him.

Odin allows the ravens Hugin an Munin to fly off. They fly out the window and suddenly teleport away, off to deliver Odin's message. When they are both gone, a somewhat concerned look crosses Freyja's face and she turns to her husband.


 * Freyja: Must you be so harsh to him? He is your son, after all.
 * Odin: I have asked him time and time again to come back to Asgard simply to see him and each time he's refused and stayed on Midgard. I need to be at least somewhat harsh with him or else he'll stay on that wretched planet for the remainder of his days! Not to mention what I said wasn't even me being harsh. When he gets here, then you'll get to see what me being harsh actually looks like...

On Midgard, Thor sits at a table with his team of Avengers outside of a diner. Thor himself is arm wrestling A-Bomb while the other Avengers watch on.


 * Scarlet Witch: Whoa, you're actually freakin' struggling!
 * Captain Marvel: Bwahahah! I can't believe it! The God of Thunder's struggling to beat someone in an arm wrestling match!
 * Thor: I... I don't understand! I've never been challenged this much before! How is it possible?!
 * A-Bomb: What's the matter, Thor? Lost your touch after all this time? Maybe it's finally time for you to pack it up and--
 * Thor: Oh, hang on a moment, nevermind. I was forgetting to actually try!

Thor uses all of his strength to not only win the arm wrestling match but slam A-Bomb on to the ground. He then turns around and basks in the cheers and praise of his allies.


 * Thor: I am the strongest! And don't any of you ever forget that!
 * A-Bomb: Okay, okay, you win. I'll buy the drinks like I promised...
 * Jessica Jones: You better believe you will! Haha!

Thor smiles and laughs a bit at his friends. However, his laughter is cut short when one of Odin's ravens flies down and lands on his shoulder. The raven leans in and whispers in Thor's ear.


 * Starfox: Okay, what's next? You wanna have another game of "Can We Lift Thor's Hammer Yet"?
 * Captain Marvel: Hey, Thor? What's up with the crow?
 * Captain Britain: I think it's a raven, actually.

Thor lifts his arm and the raven flies on to his forearm. Both Thor and the raven look each other in the eyes and Thor becomes progressively more upset.


 * Thor: I... I have to leave.
 * A-Bomb: What!?
 * Starfox: No way!
 * Captain Marvel: Aw, man! Come on, there's no way you've gotta go this soon, right?
 * Thor: I assure you, if this were up to me then I would stay with you all.
 * Jessica Jones: Then why are you leaving?
 * Thor: My father has repeatedly requested a meeting with me. I've put it off for some time and I suppose he's reached his wit's end. If I don't show up now, he'll most likely come here personally and I'd rather save you all the embarrassment.
 * Starfox: Well, when's the next time we'll get to see you?
 * Thor: Hopefully it won't be more than a week. I promise you all that I will come back. Our Avengers need a leader, no?
 * Captain Marvel: Well, we'll miss ya, buddy. Till next time!

The Avengers salute Thor and he salutes them back. He then picks up Mjolnir and begins swinging it around in a circle. He swings it faster and faster before abruptly stopping, taking off into the sky along with the hammer when he does.


 * A-Bomb: Who is gonna be the leader while he's gone?
 * Captain Marvel: ...Uh... Let's cross that bridge when we need to...

Meanwhile, Thor continues flying off into the sky, soaring past the clouds and eventually making his way into the atmosphere of Earth. When he finally reaches the stars, bright lights begin erupting from his body until they completely engulf him, turning his entire body into rainbow energy. Moments later, Thor is kneeling on the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard. He slowly gets up and comes face-to-face with his old friend, Heimdall.


 * Thor: Heimdall, my good man! It's been too long!

Thor attempts to shake Heimdall's hand but Heimdall simply stands there, unmoving.


 * Thor: Friend?
 * Heimdall: You go off galivanting on another world, completely ignoring your duties to Asgard, and you expect me to welcome you back with open arms...?
 * Thor: Oh, come now, you know all, you of all people should understand my point of view, no?
 * Heimdall: No, Thor, I don't. You have friends and family here, and you completely ignored them all.
 * Thor: I have friends down there as well!
 * Heimdall: Friends you've known for just a few decades. That's nothing in Asgardian time.

Thor and Heimdall look at each other for a while in silence, the two clearly incredibly angry at each other.


 * Thor: I'm going to go meet with my father.
 * Heimdall: You do that.

Thor walks off into the City of Asgard. As Thor walks by the Asgardians in the city, most of them turn away from him and attempt to ignore his presence. The ones who don't ignore him simply stare at him with judgmental eyes.


 * Young Asgardian: You waste of an Asgardian!
 * Old Asgardian: How thick is your skin to just waltz in here like nothing was wrong!?
 * Armored Asgardian: So, the wayward son of Odin returns? Took him long enough, the bastard...

Thor winces slightly at the Asgardians' comments. A man places his hand on the armored Asgardian's shoulder.


 * Unknown Asgardian: I'm going to have to ask you to stop lopping insults at him, please.
 * Armored Asgardian: What're you talking about? You're telling me he doesn't deserve to--

The armored Asgardian stops talking when he realizes who he's talking to, as it's revealed Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg of the Warriors Three are standing behind him.


 * Volstagg: Deserve to what?

The armored Asgardian says nothing. Volstagg smiles at him and pats him on the back before walking over to Thor.


 * Volstagg: Thor, my good man! It's been too long!
 * Thor: Volstagg the Voluminous! How have you been, old friend?
 * Volstagg: I've been fantastic, but it's even better now that you're back! Our adventures are about to become interesting again!
 * Fandral: Such a shame that you'd have to come back so soon, Thor. Lady Sif was just about warming up to me, and now all of that's out the window.
 * Thor: Trust me, Fandral, it was out the window before it truly began.
 * Fandral: Oh, Thor, you wound me so! Haha!

Thor walks over to Hogun.


 * Thor: Hogun! So good to see you!

Thor tries to hug Hogun but he steps away from him. Thor looks at him confused.


 * Hogun: You have no honor...

Thor is rendered speechless by Hogun's words.


 * Volstagg: Oh, come now Hogun, he came back to us just as I said he would! Yes, I admit, he was gone for a while, but he's back now!
 * Fandral: Yes, now's our chance to catch up on the time we lost!
 * Hogun: His duties are with Asgard. And he left Asgard behind... He left us behind.
 * Fandral: Come on, at least give him a chance to redeem himself. You're completely shutting him down before he even gets a chance to try.
 * Hogun: ...Fine. But know that I am only doing this for you and Volstagg's sakes. Not for his.

Thor looks around the area, very uncomfortable. Noticing this, Volstagg attempts to defuse the situation.


 * Volstagg: Hahaha! Let's get going to the palace! I'm sure your mother and father would love to see you after all this time, Thor! Not to mention Lady Sif!
 * Fandral: Yes, you can't keep her waiting any longer, Thor. She's been with no one since you left. I'm sure her loins are aching for you!
 * Thor: Ha-ha, very funny, Fandral. I assure you, there is nothing between Lady Sif and I.
 * Fandral: Oh please, we've known each other for hundreds if not thousands of years. You can't hide the truth from me!
 * Thor: There is no truth to be hidden, Fandral!
 * Fandral: Oh, sure there isn't...!

While having this talk, Thor and the Warriors Three walk off to Odin's palace. Inside the palace itself, Odin sits at a large table which has many plates of delicacies laid upon it. Also sitting at the table are Freyja and his son, Balder.


 * Balder: Apologies once more that I failed to assemble my brothers of this meeting. Most were busy and some out-right refused to come.
 * Odin: It's quite alright, Balder. I'm at least glad you're here for this meeting.
 * Balder: Naturally.
 * Freyja: I know that everyone is quite angry at him at the moment, but I have to admit, I'm very much looking forward to seeing him.
 * Balder: I see him all the time due to my work at the Avengers but it is going to be good to see him actually standing in Asgard once again. The last time that happened was when he helped recruit me into the Avengers and that was so long ago now.
 * Freyja: Speaking of which, why didn't you try to speak with Thor when he and his friend were here to recruit Balder, beloved?
 * Odin: I wanted to but he left moments after Balder agreed to be in the Avengers...
 * Balder: If I had known he was refusing to come back home, I would have given him a talking to for you, father. Ignoring your duties to Asgard is something no Asgardian should ever do.

One of Odin's guards walks into the room.


 * Asgardian Guard: All-Father Odin. Thor is here and is requesting entry.
 * Odin: Did you make sure it was him and not some kind of illusion?
 * Asgardian Guard: It seems to really be him, All-Father.
 * Odin: Send him in.
 * Asgardian Guard: Yes, my Lord.

The guard walks off.


 * Freyja: Why must you always request the guards make sure everyone visiting you isn't an illusion?
 * Odin: I've been tricked one too many times. I'm not being tricked again.

The door swings open and Thor and the Warriors Three enter the room.


 * Thor: Father!!

Thor struts over and sits at the table along with his family members, the Warriors Three sitting along side him.


 * Thor: It's wonderful to see you again, father! I was so...

Odin stares daggers at Thor while tapping his fingers against the table.


 * Thor: I suppose it was quite stupid of me to assume you would've calmed down by now...
 * Fandral: Oh, come now, All-Father, he's your son. You can't remain angry at him forever.
 * Odin: I don't think you understand who you are talking to, Fandral. Because I most certainly can...
 * Volstagg: But he is your flesh and blood! Him constantly spending time on Midgard can easily be forgiven by him just spending some more time on Asgard.
 * Balder: An easy feat to accomplish, I agree. So why doesn't he...?
 * Thor: I have friends on Midgard.
 * Balder: Some would say my fellow warriors the Avengers are my friends. You don't see me galivanting on Midgard, ignoring my duties to Asgard.
 * Fandral: Your duties to Asgard? You have no duties! The only duty you have is to eventually die and trigger Ragnarok, as prophesied!
 * Thor: Don't talk to him that way, Fandral. He may be treating me as if I'm his enemy at the moment but he is still my brother.
 * Balder: No, no, don't shame him. Fandral has a point.
 * Freyja: Balder! Don't you dare talk about yourself that way!
 * Balder: But it's true, mother. I have no true duties to Asgard. The fact I keep coming back to battle alongside my fellow warriors and help my family when they're in need is a simple choice I've made. My only duty is that I will eventually die and trigger the end of the Asgardians, Ragnarok.
 * Fandral: See? Even you know!
 * Balder: So why is it that I, someone with little to no actual duties to Asgard, choose to keep coming back while Asgard's protector, someone with actual duties, doesn't?

Fandral attempts to argue against Balder but is rendered speechless by his words. Thor himself angrily clenches his hand into a fist, though he doesn't show the anger on his face.


 * Volstagg: Calm down, Thor.
 * Freyja: Apologize to your brother, Balder.
 * Balder: But why?
 * Freyja: Apologize to him. Now.
 * Balder: ...Very well...

Balder stands up and bows to Thor, respectfully.


 * Balder: I apologize if my words have hurt you in any way, dear brother. I'm aware that I have an... "attitude" that some may call repugnant. I will attempt to rectify my actions in the future.
 * Thor: You don't have to apologize, Balder. Sit back down.
 * Balder: As you wish.

Balder sits back down. Thor unclenches his fist and silently sits in his seat for a bit.


 * Odin: You have a choice to make, Thor. I hope that you make the right one...

Thor remains quiet. He simply leans forward and pulls a thigh off a turkey on the table, eating it.


 * ???: Is he dead yet?

Everyone at the table turns around and sees Loki entering the room.


 * Loki: Or have I shown up for nothing?

The Warriors Three all pull their respective weapons and corner Loki, who raises his hands in the air.


 * Hogun: What brings you here, trickster?!
 * Fandral: Answer fast! And the answer better be good or else it's your head!
 * Loki: I'm not here for trouble, ironically enough.

Loki teleports away from the Warriors Three and appears sitting at the table with the rest of his family.


 * Loki: I'm simply here to witness the mockery of my favorite brother!
 * Freyja: Odin! You invited Loki!? What's the matter with you!?
 * Odin: I absolutely did not invite him! I didn't even know he was back in Asgard! He's been gone, too!
 * Loki: Yes, yes, I was gone for so long. And, oh, how I missed you all during my time on Midgard! It's so dreadfully boring down there, you know. I would have come back sooner but, unfortunately, I had a couple of tricks I wanted to pull on my beloved brother over there. But now, I'm back! Huzzah!
 * Thor: Last time I saw you, you were a piece of ice cream. Care to explain how your back to normal?
 * Loki: You honestly believed that being stuck in that form would be the end of me? I've been through a lot worse, if you've forgotten. All it required was a bit of concentration and magic channeling.
 * Volstagg: Ice cream?
 * Loki: Yes, it was a bit of an ordeal...
 * Balder: What actually brings you back to Asgard, Loki?
 * Loki: I don't know what you're talking about.
 * Balder: You wouldn't come back here if you didn't have some type of plan in mind. What is it?
 * Loki: I have no plan. I was genuinely here in hopes my father had flown off the handles and sentenced my beloved brother to be executed. I couldn't miss that, after all.
 * Balder: You're lying.
 * Loki: I'm not.
 * Balder: I will gather up the finest sorcerers, witches, prophets, and more and I will find out why you're here, Loki...
 * Loki: Go ahead.

Enraged, Balder pulls out his sword and attempts to crawl across the table and kill Loki. However, he is stopped by the Warriors Three, all of whom are holding him back.


 * Fandral: Don't do it, Balder!
 * Balder: Why not!?
 * Volstagg: You can't!
 * Balder: I most certainly can!
 * Hogun: He's done nothing yet! Wait until he deserves it to actually kill him!
 * Balder: He deserves it now!
 * Loki: Fine, kill me. Declare yourself an enemy of the Nine Realms for murdering a man in rage.
 * Thor: Don't kill him, Balder.
 * Balder: And why shouldn't I!?
 * Thor: Because I'm more than positive you killing him feeds into one of his countless plans.

Balder looks at Thor for a bit before looking at Loki, who smiles at him. Balder then looks to his parents. His father looks at him with disappointment in his eyes while his mother looks petrified at Balder's actions. After seeing this, Balder puts his sword away and sits back down.


 * Loki: Good boy.
 * Balder: I'm not a damned dog...
 * Odin: Why are you here, Loki?
 * Loki: This is my home. Aren't I allowed to visit?
 * Odin: Loki. Tell me now. That is an order from your father.
 * Loki: No, it isn't. You're not my father, in case you've forgot.
 * Odin: I raised you from when--
 * Loki: Yes, I know. "I raised you from when you were a baby! You would have died if it weren't for me!" I've heard it over and over again. It's getting quite annoying.
 * Odin: ...You are my son.

Loki turns to face Odin, an uncaring look in his eyes. Odin himself is taken aback by Loki's apathy.


 * Loki: You know, I just realized, it's actually a great thing that I came here. After all, ever since I showed up, I've absolutely dominated the conversation and all eyes have been on me. I've made everyone completely forget about your abandonment of Asgard, beloved brother!
 * Thor: That... may be true, but--
 * Loki: Oh, don't feel obligated to thank me now, thank me in your own time!

Thor awkwardly looks around the room, hoping for someone to say something. Loki gets up out of his chair.


 * Loki: Well, as it's becoming more and more evident that my beloved brother is, in fact, not being executed today, I will be seeing myself out.
 * Balder: If I do find out you're up to something, Loki, then I swear to whoever is listening that you will die by my hand...
 * Loki: Ooo, scary. Ta-ta!

Loki bursts into green flames and disappears from the room. The people in the room are left speechless by his visit.


 * Fandral: ...What a bastard.
 * Thor: I was thinking the exact same thing. Thank you for saying it for me. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Thor gets up.


 * Odin: Where do you think you're going?
 * Thor: Have you all not said your peace?
 * Odin: Tell me here and now, Thor. Are you choosing Midgard or Asgard?!
 * Freyja: Give him time, beloved. Let the boy come to his own conclusions.

Freyja turns to Thor.


 * Freyja: Thor, no matter the choice you make, I am and will always be your mother. Even if I don't support the choice you make, I will be by your side. Remember that for me.

Freyja smiles at Thor, who in turn looks to his father. Odin simply gives him a stern look. Ignoring this, Thor nods at his mother and walks out of the room, the Warriors Three following close behind.


 * Fandral: So, where are we heading off to?
 * Thor: I was told that Sif was in the palace. I'm off to see her. After such a serious meeting I feel as if I need something to take my mind off everything.
 * Volstagg: How do you know where she'll be?
 * Thor: Whenever she comes to the palace, she always wanders off to the same location. The garden with all of the apple trees.
 * Fandral: Ah, right, the one place in the palace where there's no one in ear-shot. No wonder you and her always go there, you can make as much noise as you'd like!
 * Thor: I don't know what you're referring to.
 * Fandral: Oh, come now! Stop playing dumb, it's an open secret at this point! Plus, we're all men here, you can trust us!
 * Volstagg: Hush up, Fandral. Don't force the man to talk about whether or not he has a love life with Sif. Even if the answer is indeed quite obvious.
 * Thor: Oh, not you too, Volstagg...
 * Hogun: How do you forgive him so easily...?
 * Fandral: Excuse me?
 * Hogun: After abandoning all of us. How do you forgive him so easily? He did nothing to try and stay in touch with any of us. He didn't even send a letter. So, I ask for the third time... how do you forgive him so easily?

The other three look at Hogun in silence.


 * Fandral: Uh... why don't you go and see your lady friend, Thor? Well, Hogun clearly wants to have a word with us, so we'll just excuse ourselves.
 * Thor: Indeed...

The Warriors Three walk off, Volstagg giving Thor a thumbs-up before leaving. When they're gone, Thor takes a deep breath and exhales before walking out a door and into the before mentioned garden full of apple trees.


 * Thor: Sif? Are you out here?

Thor spots Sif sitting on a bench by a pond nearby, one leg folded over the other and her legs crossed. She stares Thor down with a very intense expression.


 * Thor: There you are! It's been too long! How have you been?
 * Lady Sif: Eight months.
 * Thor: What?
 * Lady Sif: You were gone for eight months, Thor. You completely abandoned me... for eight months...
 * Thor: I never abandoned you. You could have come and visited at any time.
 * Lady Sif: I am one of the protectors of Asgard. You know for a fact that isn't true, Thor!
 * Thor: Sif, I always planned on coming back, I just kept forgetting! I swear!
 * Lady Sif: You forgot?! We have known each other since the two of us were children and you forgot to come and visit me!? I fought in countless battles while you were gone, hoping beyond hope in each and every one that when I came back home you would be sitting there waiting for me. And now you're telling me that hope I had was all for nothing because you forgot!?
 * Thor: I don't... that isn't... I'm sorry! You're right, I should have come and visited more often. It was unacceptable for me to spend so much time on Midgard without ever visiting. But, you must understand, the people of Midgard need me, Sif. I am one of their greatest heroes down there. They've even gone as far as to call me a superhero! I have joined their mightiest team, The Avengers, and have even gone on to lead my own variant of the team! Like it or not, and I understand if you don't like it, but I have duties to Midgard now.
 * Lady Sif: You have duties to Asgard as well, Thor. I would argue your duties to Asgard are greater than on Midgard. You are one of Midgard's greatest champions but you are Asgard's greatest. There are painfully few Asgardians who even come close to your level of strength. What if Malekith and his Dark Elves raid our land, pillaging and plundering their way through everyone? What if Surtur breaks free of his chains and sets his sights on Asgard? What if Loki returns and begins cooking up another one of his schemes?
 * Thor: Loki is back, actually.
 * Lady Sif: That proves my point further! What if you weren't here when he returned!? The only person who would be able to protect us from the wrath of our enemies is Odin and he's old now, Thor! His power grows weaker each time he uses it and with each Odinsleep he regains less and less strength! Like it or not, Thor, your father won't be here forever. And when he's eventually gone, it will be up to you to become the new king of Asgard.
 * Thor: My father has many sons. I am not even his oldest! Balder or Tyr could take his place when he eventually dies.
 * Lady Sif: Do you not want to be king?
 * Thor: No, I didn't say that! Of course I want to be king, it's just that--
 * Lady Sif: Then why are you arguing you don't need to be? If you truly want to be king, you would have agreed with what I said.
 * Thor: That's unfair.
 * Lady Sif: How?
 * Thor: I was merely pointing out that I do not, in fact, have to take my father's place.
 * Lady Sif: But if it's true that you want to then why would you even consider allowing someone else to become king in your place? Is it because if you became king the Asgardians would need you and you wouldn't be able to spend as much time on Midgard? Is that why, Thor?

Thor opens his mouth to say something but closes it moments after. He and Sif stand in silence for a bit.


 * Lady Sif: Is there someone you love?
 * Thor: Pardon?
 * Lady Sif: Staying that long on Midgard simply because you have friends there clearly doesn't make sense since you have friends here and you left for months. So... have you fallen in love with someone?
 * Thor: ...Well, there's a woman named Jane who I like but--
 * Lady Sif: I knew it. I knew there was someone else in the picture! I should have known from the start!
 * Thor: Hush up, there's no one else! Jane is a personal friend of mine and, yes, we have grown extremely close but I don't love her! She isn't the woman for me!
 * Lady Sif: Thor, I...
 * Thor: You have to believe me, Jane.
 * Lady Sif: I wish I could, I... Jane?

Thor's eyes widen upon realizing he said the wrong name.


 * Lady Sif: You called me by her name...
 * Thor: Sif, I know it seems bad, but I swear it's not what you think. It's just that she was fresh on my mind so I--
 * Lady Sif: I wish I could believe you Thor... I truly do...

Sif pulls her sword and cuts a circle into the air, opening a portal. She gives Thor once last sad look before stepping through it. Thor reaches out, ready to pull her back in but decides against it. When the portal closes, Loki is revealed to be standing just behind it, leaning against one of the apple trees.


 * Loki: Well, that was a sight to behold. Listening in on the argument between the two of you almost made me feel sorry for you, beloved brother.
 * Thor: How long have you been here?
 * Loki: Oh, I've been here the whole time.
 * Thor: How did I not notice you?
 * Loki: You of all people should know how good at hiding I am.
 * Thor: What are you here for anyway? To gloat? To rub it in my face that you've finally got what you wanted? An Asgard against Thor?
 * Loki: What? No, of course not! When have I ever?

Loki laughs.


 * Loki: Okay, I'll gloat! It's a beautiful sight to behold, I must admit! After years and years of me trying to conquer Asgard and turn all of the Nine Realms against you, you've gone and done it yourself! It's fantastic! Hahaha!
 * Thor: Yes, the irony isn't lost on me...
 * Loki: Although, I have an offer.
 * Thor: Whatever you're selling, I don't want it, Loki.
 * Loki: Thor, you are going to be the king one day. No? Well, I have a deal for you. I will convince everyone in Asgard that you are still the hero they thought you were. Even Hogun, Odin, and, yes, even Sif. I'll turn them all back in your favor.
 * Thor: There's absolutely no way you could do that.
 * Loki: Well, not to brag, but I am the smartest person I know and I've managed to convince a lot of people of a lot less. After all, in the 1940s I managed to trick a cult of Satanists that I was the Devil himself and, if that doesn't convince you, the many times I've successfully talked Migard's supervillains into working for me or the hand full of times I've managed to convince you that I was Odin should. What I'm getting at here is that I am the master of pure logic and white lies. I will have absolutely no trouble convincing Asgard they can still trust you. And, as a bonus, I'll even keep their spirits and hopes up when you leave for Midgard again so this won't happen again!
 * Thor: And what will you be asking me for in return?
 * Loki: A place by your side on the throne when you become king. Whether I be your royal advisor or the king's aid, I don't care, I just want a place close to the throne. A lot less than what you'd probably expect me to ask for, right?

Loki puts his hand out for Thor to shake.


 * Loki: So? Do we have a deal?

Thor looks down at Loki's hand. He leans in and grabs it only to yank Loki closer, inches away from his face.


 * Thor: Not only do we not have a deal but I am sickened and revolted at the fact you would even ask me for such a thing.
 * Loki: You'd throw away a chance to repair your relations with Asgard?
 * Thor: If it means I'd ever have to ally myself with you then yes. The day that you get even an inch to the throne of Asgard is the day that I breathe my final breath...

Loki flicks his hand up, forcing Thor to let go of it, and takes a few steps away from his brother.


 * Thor: Get out of my sight.

Loki summons his staff and opens a portal to leave.


 * Loki: Before I leave, Thor, I want to send one last message to you. If you keep sinking down the path you're heading and drive the people of Asgard even further away, then come to me.
 * Thor: You'd have me grovel before you like a beggar?
 * Loki: No, I'd have you ask me to create a future worthy of a king. You wouldn't be able to rule Asgard if all of the Asgardians despised you after all, right?
 * Thor: Rot in the lowest pits of Niffleheim, Loki.
 * Loki: What wonderful parting words to your brother.
 * Thor: You don't consider Odin your father, right? Then we are not brothers.

Loki's smile drops at Thor's words. He exists through the portal, leaving Thor alone in the garden. Thor exhaustedly sits on a nearby golden bench, letting out a long sigh.


 * Thor: Truly, there is no one in the Nine Realms as miserable as me...

Smashcut to the Rock Troll, Ulik, who is being beaten by a group of other Rock Trolls.


 * Ulik: You dare lay your hands on me...? I am the strongest of the Rock Trolls! I am Ulik the Unstoppable!
 * Troll #1: If memory serves, you've been "stopped" quite a number of times.
 * Troll #2: Ulik the Unstoppable. Stopped in his tracks by Thor the Mighty...
 * Ulik: None of you could even bare to withstand a single blow from Thor, and I've taken multiple blows from him on the regular!
 * Troll #3: Your claim to fame is being punched multiple times by Thor? All of Thor's enemies have survived blows from him. The difference is that you are the only one of his enemies that has never in your natural life bested him.

Ulik grits his teeth and clenches his fist, throwing a punch at the Trolls. However, his fist stops moments before colliding with the other Troll's face. Ulik simply stands there for a few seconds, his body trembling in anger. It quickly subsides though and he defeatedly puts his arms down.


 * Ulik: You're right. I've faced Thor countless times throughout my life. And each time I've been on the losing side. Not once have I ever won a battle against him...
 * Troll #1: After so long, the whelp admits it!
 * Troll #3: Your truly a disgrace to our kind.

The other Trolls walk away, leaving Ulik behind. Ulik stands motionless for a bit, contemplating what just happened. He snaps out of it after looking down and seeing a sack filled with crimson fish.


 * Ulik: Right. I need to deliver those fish back to the village. They need food, after all.

Ulik shoves all the fish back into the bag and throws the sack over his shoulder, walking off with it. He solemnly walks to a nearby village, thinking about the many defeat he's suffered at the hands of Thor while doing so. Eventually, he makes it to the village and every Troll in sight stops what they're doing to look at him. He opens up the sack, showing off the fish to the villagers.


 * Ulik: I am Ulik. Defender of the Rock Trolls. I'm aware we've been low on food for quite a while, so I've gathered up fish from a nearby river. If any of you are hungry--
 * Older Rock Troll: No one here wants your tainted food, Ulik.
 * Ulik: Tainted?
 * Merchant Rock Troll: Everybody from the village knows of your curse of bad luck, Ulik. We'd never risk having it spread to us by eating food your hands have touched!
 * Ulik: I don't know what rumors you've heard of who's been spreading them, but I am not cursed.
 * Merchant Rock Troll: Of course you're cursed! It's impossible to face such crushing defeats without a curse!

Ulik attempts to say something but quickly gives up.


 * Ulik: Very well... I'll take my business elsewhere...

Ulik picks his sack up and attempts to leave. However, a little girl Rock Troll stops him before he can go.


 * Child Rock Troll: Pardon me, sir?
 * Ulik: Yes, youngling?
 * Child Rock Troll: My family and I have been hungry for many moons now. Could you spare us some fish? If you'd rather not then we--
 * Ulik: Don't speak such none sense. Of course I can give you some. I'd never let a youngling go starving.

Ulik reaches inside of the bag and hands the youngling a fish. She attempts to eat it but it is ripped out of her hand by another Rock Troll, who also pulls her away from Ulik.


 * Father Rock Troll: Shaewin! Do not associate with this man!

He turns to Ulik.


 * Father Rock Troll: Do not allow me to see you near any member of my family again or I will tear you apart personally!
 * Ulik: Your daughter is starving, sir.
 * Father Rock Troll: I'd rather her starve than have to thank you for anything!

Ulik stands in shock for a few seconds, taken aback by the Troll's words. Moments later, he winds back and punches the father in the head hard enough to fly away and smash against a nearby house.


 * Ulik: You would let a youngling starve just to keep your popularity and reputation!? You--
 * Child Rock Troll: Monster!!
 * Ulik: What?

The younglin drops to her knees and grovels before Ulik, who is horrified at the sight.


 * Child Rock Troll: Please don't hurt my father more than you already have, monster! I promise that he meant me no harm! He simply allowed emotion to blind him!
 * Ulik: N-no! You have it all wrong! I'm not a monster, I'm--
 * Child Rock Troll: Please leave my father alone!

Ulik looks down at the youngling and proceeds to look around at the rest of the villagers, all of whom are horrified at what he's done. Upon realizing this, Ulik sadly hangs his head and begins walking out of the village.


 * Ulik: I'm going to leave the fish here. You can eat them if you want. You can even lie and say they were fished up by fishermen from the village rather than them being a gift from me, if you truly want to keep your reputations. I promise I won't tell anyone of the truth.

Ulik walks out of the village, clearly far worse than he was going in.