Sunwreck/Fake trailers transcripts

Kickass Assassin
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Universal Studios logo then plays followed by a bunch of people in suits walking inside a building. A figure is shown in watching over New York, being played by Anthony Hopkins. Then, it shows an explosion, then followed by a subtitle saying "This Summer", leading to Zac Derby's character loading a gun and then riding a helicopter. The other characters then appear when announced.
 * Narrator: In a world where evil exists and there's literally evil everywhere, an agency is set to dismantle evil and only one of his agents is able to stop an evil dude.
 * Hopkins: Soon, the world as we know will change and I'll be the one in charge.
 * Narrator: This Summer, from Universal Pictures, after the blockbuster hits Fireball, Oppenheimer and TBD, Zac Derby stars as the world's only hope to TBD.
 * Zac: It's time to adjust some TBD!
 * Narrator: Also starring Ryan Reynolds, Kristen Dunst, Liam Neeson and Sir Anthony Hopkins as TBD.
 * Ryan: You sure this is gonna work?
 * Kristen: [joke to one of her roles, probably a joke with MJ's catchphrase]

The Bartender
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer logo then plays followed by TBD.

Ear Pains
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The 20th Century Fox logo then plays followed by TBD.

The Toiletman
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Paramount Pictures logo then plays followed by a sound of a toilet flushing.

Sherlock Holmes the Third
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Warner Bros. Pictures logo then plays followed by the skyline of Victorian London with Holmes and Watson TBD.
 * Narrator: In 2009, Warner Bros. brought to you TBD.