Avenue Q Presents Grouch Trailer

This is a trailer of Avenue Q Presents Grouch. Almost all the dialogue and scenes are the same as the ones from the SNL Grouch skit. [We see footage of New York City, then we see Osmar and another garbageman working on some trash.]

Garbageman: Damn, that smells straight like ass.

[Osmar opens a trash can]

Osmar: I don't know. (sniffs) I kind of like it.

Garbageman: Yeah? You like trash so much, why don’t you live in it?

Osmar: (angrily) Why don't you bite me?!

Garbageman: Damn, Osmar, why you such a grouch, man?

[Cut to narrative video]

Announcer: From the studio that brought you "Joker" and the twisted minds at Sesame Workshop, comes the next gritty antihero origin story.

[We then see Osmar talking to a therapist.]

Therapist: Why do you think you're always in such a bad mood?

[Osmar is then seen walking through the streets of Avenue Q.]

Osmar: That ain't me. Things are getting worse out there.

[Cut to TV news]

Pal Friendlies: Once friendly neighborhood of Avenue Q has now become a haven of crime and corruption. I'm Pal Friendlies, PTN News.

[Cut to Osmar walking on the street]

Osmar: Hookers and pimps on every corner.

[Cut to Snuffrod and Peggy Fawn]

Snuffrod: Now, look, Peggy dog, you one of Snuffrod's ho's, okay? And Snuffrod's ho's earn.

Peggy: I'm sorry, daddy.

Snuffrod: Bitch, you better shut your damn mouffagus!

[Cut to Osmar watching]

Osmar: People getting killed over nothing.

[Cut to an alley where where Verne and Scotty are getting robbed]

Robber: Give me the teddy bear.

Verne: Scotty! Give it to him!

Scotty: Hell no, bitch!

[The robber attacks Scotty at hearing that.]

Scotty: (as he gets stabbed) NO!

[As Scotty collapsed, the robber steals his teddy and runs away with it.]

Verne: (holding the fatally stabbed Scotty) AAH! SCOTTYYYYY!!!

[Cut to Therapist]

Therapist: How does that make you feel?

Osmar: Grouchy.

[Cut to video clips of Osmar acting like Joker]

When everyone calls you trash, and everyone treats you like trash, why don't you just become trash?

Announcer: Variety asks, Did we need a dark take on "Oscar the Grouch?" "No," says the New York Times. Avenue Q outdid themselves this time, says the Wall Street Journal. The beloved Broadway stars are obsessing on streets like you've never seen before.

[Now we see Kieran walking down the hall with a concerned Torrie, Cinderelmo, Ginger, Budfire, Stanley, Sunspot and Fuzzle.]

Kieran: The police are powerless against these criminals. The government, the military- they can't do a damn thing! (holds up a clenched fist, in a determined tone) Somebody's gotta take matters into their own hands.

[The others looked at him in shock from hearing what he was saying.]

Torrie: You don't mean...

Kieran: I do.

[Cut to Toxie Jr. looking out to the crime-ridden city.]

Toxic Avenger: (voiceover) This is your chance to kick some ass.

[We then see Toxie Jr. viciously attacking the robber that stole Scotty's teddy.]

Toxic Avenger: (voiceover) Rip off someone's arm.

[Toxie Jr. ripped off the robber's knife arm with his brute strength, making the robber scream in excruciating pain.]

Toxic Avenger: (voiceover) Just like your dad.

[We then cut to police taking the badly wounded robber as a news reporter spoke.]

News Reporter: I'm standing here at the sight of what authorities believe is yet another vicious attack from the son of the Toxic Avenger. A state of emergency has been declared citizens are asked to remain in their homes.

[Cut to a female bird at a nightclub.]

Heidi Gardner: Do you want to see this big bird dance?

[Cut to Alcindor Von Count getting himself some pills.]

Alcindor Von Count: One, two, three! Three pills for me!

[Cut to a caged Grizzle Ingrid and a suspicious-looking peddler woman glancing at each other eye-to-eye with interest.]

Female voice: (voiceover) I'd like to adopt this bird.

[Cut to the peddler woman speaking to a pet shop owner.]

Pet shop owner: You two are perfect for each other!

[Cut to the peddler woman leaving with Grizzle Ingrid.]

Evil-sounding female voice: (voiceover) You have no idea.

[Cut to Cookie Mongoloid, currently a hobo out on the streets, receiving a cookie before he devoured it.]

[Cut to Phil Phillips speaking with Sherman the Frog, Bixby Bear and Boppity.]

Phil Phillips: So you three are crack investigative reporters and a photographer for the New York Times. We could use guys like you to help us.

Sherman the Frog: You can count on us, Phil. We'll help put a stop to those crooks before you know it.

[Cut to Gaby running down an alley until she found herself at a dead end.]

Valerie Vomit: (voiceover) The time for running away is over!

[Cut to a group of dwarf-sized shadowy figures menacing towards her.]

Greaser Greg: (voiceover) Time to paint the town red! And this time, as what we're originally supposed to be...

[Cut to the shadowy figures revealing themselves to be none other than the Garbage Pail Kids.]

Greaser Greg: (voiceover) Fucking horror monsters!

[Gaby made a bloodcurdling scream as the Garbage Pail Kids loomed closer to her.]

[Cut to Sparra Bird with two other female birds hiding in a secluded part of the city, the former holding onto her egg.]

Female Bird #1: Listen! He's coming!

Female Bird #2: Hush!

Sparra Bird: (whispering) Be quiet.

Female Bird #1: He's coming closer!

Female Bird #2: Be calm, don't get excited.

Female Bird #1: We'd better fly!

Female Bird #2: No! No, don't fly! Whatever you do, don't fly!

Female Bird #1: He's almost here! (as she starts flying like the dickens) I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER!!!

[Sparra and the second female bird can only watch helplessly. Split Kit aimed his gun towards the flying bird.]

Split Kit: (snickers evilly) Right on target.

[BANG! The shot echoed throughout the city, and the shot bird fell downward until it landed into the jaws of Ali Gator, who munched atrociously onto it, deliberately getting blood and feathers everywhere.]

Ali Gator: (grins evilly) Mmmm! Tastes like chicken. (chuckles evilly)

Sparra Bird: (watching this whole thing, horrified) Oh, my God!!

[Cut to Constable Griswald arresting a Mexican girl puppet.]

Mexican girl: I'm innocent! I didn't sell no crack! You only arrest me because I'm a Mexican and a puppet!

Griswald: (punches girl) Shut up, brownie! (shoves her in police car) Get in there!

Osmar: (singing creepily) Sunny Day...

Announcer: From director, Todd Phillips...

Osmar: (singing creepily) Sweeping the clouds away...

Announcer: ...and the writer of "P is for Potty."

Osmar: (singing creepily) On my way to where the air is sweet...

[Cut to an evil grinning Dead End Grouch outside the window of a taxicab passing by, holding a trashcan lid with the word "GROUCH" on it.]

Can you tell me how to get...

[Cut to Osmar meeting the Garbage Pail Kids.]

Osmar: You are the ugliest, most disgusting bunch of kids I have ever seen. You're all beautiful!

Ali Gator: We're willing to do anything you want!

Osmar: I shall be the kingpin of the Garbage Pail Mafia, and you shall be my made grouches!

[The Garbage Pail Kids cheered at this.]

[Cut to Osmar speaking to a director as he was about to get onstage.]

Osmar: Would you do me one favor? Could you call me the Grouch?

Announcer: Brought to you by the letter R.

Osmar: Scram!