Hammond's Pie/Transcript

Prologue
HARMONSHIRE, 2018

[A 4 year old boy (later revealed to be Hammond) watches the semi finals of the 2018 World Cup on the TV. He is sitting on a sofa next to his grandfather.]

[On the TV, England shockingly loses to Croatia]

Hammond: Oh my! Will England ever win a World Cup?

Grandfather: They did, in 1966. I was there, and it was the happiest day of my life!

Hammond: Wow, getting there might not have been a piece of pie! (Pie echoes)

Chapter 1
48 YEARS LATER

[Hammond is later shown working at a pub, cleaning the tables]

Hammond: Gee, 3 days till the final. England sure is on a winning spree this year, and their best since 2018!

Gary: Yeah. 44 years of failure all building up to this epic moment.

Emma: It will not be like the 2018 one, where we hyped it as the best thing since the 1966 one, and we lost at the end! I'm ashamed of those stupid dances from a stupid video game now.

Unnamed elderly woman: Or Euro 96, where after we lost to the Germans, riots ensued, with damage to German made things!

Hammond: Oh, no, it will not be like that.

Intermission
”INTERMISSION” appears in big letters on the screen as clips inspired by the BBC interludes of the 1950s play. A timer on the bottom left count down the time left before the film resumes. It lasts for 3 minutes.