The Wild Swans (Nostalgia Critic)

The Wild Swans

 * Aired: July 14th, 2015
 * Previous review: Planet of the Apes
 * Next review: Osmosis Jones

Transcript
(the Channel Awesome logo, intro, cut to Nostalgia Critic sitting in the chair)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to. So, let's not waste any time, let's get started with our very first one, The Wild Swans.

NC (vo): It was a public domain fairy tale in 1838. It was about a brave little princess comes to the rescue of her brothers who have been turned into six wild swans by the evil sorceresses.

NC: Have to ever seen of the well-known Japanese animated film in 1977... simply known as Toei's fairy tale.

(the English dubbed title is shown, the movie clips is shown as NC speaks. "Chamber Of The Sages" from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time plays by Nintendo Music, composed by Koji Kondo)

NC (vo): It's unlikely you've ever heard of it, but it's getting more and more of a following as, you guessed it, The Wild Swans, the decent Toei's fairy tale ever made. The film combines both Andersen's and the Grimm Brothers' versions of the story. (images of The Wild Swans and The Six Swans is shown.) Instead of eleven brothers, it was narrowed down to six, like in the Grimms' version. And in the middle of the story with the stinging nettles and the ending are strictly Andersen's; I do prefer Andersen's version. Even a Disney ripoffs got similar to Bambi and Sleeping Beauty, (posters of Bambi and Sleeping Beauty is shown.) which their characters are decently hell of a ripoff characters what Studio Ghibli with Isao Takahata made them ripoffs. (image of a characters such as Heidi by Isao Takahata and Hilda from Horus: Prince of the Sun by Isao Takahata is shown.) Such a pity, those characters had to do comparing the magically video game, (an image of...) The Legend of Zelda series; though, it's complicated. The animation is stunning, mystical and ethereal with backgrounds that are lavish and characters that are well designed. For example you have the protagonist Elisa, she is beautifully drawn and I could relate to her because of the fact she was very kind-hearted here and loyal to her brothers, in contrast with a grotesque-looking character such as the Witch who serves as the main villainess of the piece. Another delight was the music, some of it was simple but it was nevertheless haunting and beautiful. Because it's so much beautiful and touching anime version of the timeless story.

NC: Well, it's nothing but the sequel cannot be with this after all. (as Man shoots Bambi's mom at offscreen as he startles with a gun sound) But the decent prequel surely is. (a shot of Elisa's Beginning poster with young Elisa and the youngest brother) Let's take a look at Toei's fairy tale, The Wild Swans.

NC (vo): The film begins with the king hunting in the forest. But suddenly he lost his way in the spooky woods, until an old woman, who was really a witch and the main villain of the film, encounter at him.

Greta's Mother: Are you looking for something?

King Hildebrand: Yes, I am, old woman.

NC (as the King Hildebrand) I want to go back to the castle on the way back and... Hey, you are such a old witch has (an image of...) Yubaba's face!

Greta's Mother: Perhaps you haven't heard about the horrible curse upon this forest?

NC: Yeah, seriously, horrible curse. Don't you know that kids have mistakes were made?

Greta's Mother: A number of people have become lost here and never found a way out.

(a camera zoom in to the human and horse skeletons as droning scary stinger plays, NC startles in fear)

NC: What the hell?! Is that the kids have freaked out?! You know, it's a G movie, huh? (a MPAA G rating is shown in the corner) Prove it in the '80s!

Greta's Mother: She will show you the way back to your castle if you grant her request. So, follow me.

NC (vo): The witch offered to help if the king would marry her daughter Greta; my educated guess is that her voiced by Billie Lou Watt.

Greta: I know that you lost your wife within the past few months, and so, if you think that I am capable and pretty enough, I would like to take her place, I am sure you will not regret it.

NC (as Greta): If you think I'm beautiful, I'll take your place, sure you take to the hell of '60s approach. (an poster of Astro Boy (1960) is shown in the corner.)

NC (vo): After they returned to the castle, the king left Greta to tell his seven children about their new mother.

King Hildebrand: I shall now go and tell my children of this. As their mother wished, they do not live here, in my castle, but in a house in the forest, surrounded by all the creatures of nature.

NC (as King Hildebrand): And, again, as soon as I have to told them, to leave Kokiri Forest all alone. (as the image of the Great Deku Tree from Ocarina of Time is shown in the corner)

NC (vo): So, the king leaves when the children lived in a house in the woods because their late mother thought it would be safe, and only the good queen's magic spool of yarn knows where the house is. Of course, Greta did not like this at all, and she became jealous.

Greta: How can he be gone from me for three whole nights only to see his children?!

NC (as Greta): What does it mean to leave me alone for three days?! I vow for the revenge...

(a briefly clip of a moon about to hit Clock Town from Majora's Mask is shown)

NC (vo, as Greta): ...what Majora's Mask can do!

NC:' (as normal) You know, the prequel had to do something. (a image of a young Elisa from Elisa's Beginning is shown in the corner)

NC (vo): That night, Greta searched for the magic spool of yarn, and she did because there were some leaves sticking out of the yarn as proof this was the magic spool of yarn.

Greta: Could this be it? (as she removes the nettle leaf from a magic yarn) This leaf proves that he brought it into the forest.

NC (vo): The next morning, Greta took the yarn, and the yarn bounced all the way to the house where the royal children lived. She finally reached the house and greeted the children with... (as Elisa open the window is shown, she overalls similar to Heidi's model from the titular character by Isao Takahata) Christ! They actually stealing from Takahata's main character!

(an inevitable clip from Casper Scares School plays briefly)

Fatso: What a ripoff!

(back to the movie)

NC (vo): That one is the girl, Elisa, voiced by Corinne Orr, wearing overalls similar to Takahata's Heidi. And, hell, no, Princess Rosa got freaked this shit out. (a shot of the character from The Wonderful World of Puss 'N Boots is shown) Even though it's not a terrible enough what the youngest character is voiced like Deanna Oliver approach yet in the prequel. (a poster of Elisa's Beginning is shown)

(Greta flung six magic, white cloths on them, and they were turned into swans. But not Elisa; she was saved by her brothers, who attacked the evil witch queen while she escaped.)

NC (vo): But little do they know what evil trickery is afoot for them, because when the six young princes went outside to greet the queen, she flung six magic, white cloths on them, and they were turned into swans. But not this one, Elisa actually escaped from the tree house and yet, heartbroken enough what she could do.

Elisa: Brothers! Where are we going? Come back, brothers! (sobbing)

NC (as Elisa, tearfully): It's not like I'm going to be meet a grandfather... passes away! (a shot of Alm-Omji is shown in the corner)

NC (vo): While searching for her swan and brothers, Elisa rested under a tree and cried. But her magic tears encouraged her not to give up hope.

Tear #1: We are teardrops.

Tear #2: We're your friends when you feel sad. Whenever you're suffering.

NC (as the tear #1): Just like when they heard enough that choral music plays like a Disney movie, don't you? (a poster of Disney's Cinderella is shown in the corner)

NC (as the tear #2): Uh-huh, We can be friends in times of sadness, but we might be annoying a little.

Tear #3: Do not give up, Elisa, keep searching for your brothers.

NC (as the tear #3): And don't let you fighting off those bad-ass creatures, give you a rest!

(a shooting star is shown at night which Elisa notices)

Bugs Bunny (from Looney Tunes: Back to Action, audio): Look, a shooting star. Quick, everybody make a wish.

Elisa: Oh, please, protect my brothers and allow me to see them somewhere again. I make this wish upon you, brightest of stars, I beg you to bring them back to me.

NC (as Elisa, praying his hands): I've heard that if you make a wish upon a star, you'll be praised to make a real princess where the Blue Fairy can do a bit. (a shot of the Blue Fairy statue from A.I. Artificial Intelligence is shown in the corner)

NC (vo): After a moment of despair, Elisa regains courage and thanks to her own tears that can take the form of a magic tears, and swear to found of her brothers. She's not like to be starved, she actually eating the breakfasts for good. And she actually discovered the Ghibli relaxables with Kiki in the far far away place to passing through any creatures in the forest.

Elisa: (blocked the spider's web) Oh! Forgive me, Lady Spider, but I almost broke your lovely web only because I didn't see it.

NC (vo, as Elisa): I'm coming through where they didn't care enough for the 3D glasses in the screen.

NC (as Elisa): And yeah, I compared it with the beautiful Disney-verse as well. But Alice does. (as a image of the 1951 animated character with that said is shown in the corner)

(one evening, Elisa sitting in the log, seeing a full moon)

NC (vo): So, Elisa sitting on it and looking at Kiki passing through the full moon or she didn't see it for him.

(Elisa showing any flashbacks for any brothers playing in the forest)

NC (vo): And hey, where did she put a several flashbacks footage going to make it in the prequel? (a poster of Elisa's Beginning is shown) Getting used to it, Toei.

Elisa: When I see them again or they only live on in my memory.

(cut into Elisa's flashback as the brothers turned into the swans by Greta...)

NC (vo): Thank God it's still getting hurt their ears where the kids freaked this shit out!

NC: Well, I didn't think what Simba had to do flashback where Scar killed Mufasa out. (a shot of Simba waking dead Mufasa up is shown in the corner)

NC (vo): And, seriously, why does the song begins to?

("I Will Search For You" is shown as the song begins)

Elisa (background singer, voiceover): How we would laugh, cloudy would play...

NC (vo): Yeah, she actually singing this song where the swan brothers could flying above any places they want to see it. But the few songs are pretty nice.

Elisa (background singer, voiceover): My darling brothers, where could you be? Might been fall away from me. But I will search for ever more to sad knew free.

NC: Good God, it looks like Mary Poppins approach to singing the forgotten song is. (a shot of Feed the Birds performed by Julie Andrews is shown in the corner)

NC (vo): So, Elisa finally found her six brothers near a cave at the edge of the woods.

(Elisa hugs her six brothers, joyfully)

NC: Well, I'm starting to see why there were many joyfully moments with any Disney characters in this. (we're shown a quick series of images of various Disney animated films with any youngest Disney characters including Bambi, The Fox and the Hound, The Lion King, Tarzan II and Brother Bear II)

Elisa: So, this is where you've been living since you were turned into swans.

NC (as Elisa): So much curious, Oliver got secure my voice from Orr himself.

Elisa's Elder Brother: As soon as the sun goes down, we're released from the spell and turned back into boys again.

NC (as Elisa's elder brother): We kept safe here, these islands were kidnapping the donkeys again in Pleasure Island. (beat) Nope, this one. (a shot of Disney's Pinocchio, the titular character looked shocked as he turned into donkey ears and a tail is shown in the corner)

Youngest Brother: When daylight comes we'll be able to fly and bring back everything to make you comfortable. We'll make sure you'll never be lonely here in winter, all right?

Elisa: Uh-huh.

NC (as Elisa): It's up to you mentioned to be greeting at Problem Child actor in the prequel. (a shot of Junior from the movie is shown in the corner)

NC (vo): When her brothers wearing Elisa in a Snow White-like outfit and Frodo's reddish cape.

Elisa: [Brothers,] where are your crowns?

Youngest Brother: It's all right, [Elisa,] we trade our crowns for these beautiful boots.

NC (vo, as Youngest Brother): But it's nothing we traded Mei's sandals but Satsuki didn't have to be missing the sister, not our brother. (a shot of Satsuki from My Neighbor Totoro replies to Granny when it's not hers is shown) But she's (Mei) safe. (a shot of Mei from My Neighbor Totoro sitting in the Jizo-San statues before the Catbus comes)

NC (vo, as normal): When Elisa and her brothers reunited to playing around in the cave instead of the treehouse and, seriously, she actually throwing the snowball at the youngest swan brother what Beauty and the Beast will do it. (as an animated shot of Belle throwing the snowball at the Beast is shown in the corner) It's like the animation where the boys and girls of all ages love to playing around with Elisa and her six brothers in winter. But she spends some time living merrily in the cave with her brother, until the arrival of spring when they have to migrate. But they tell Elisa that she alone could break the horrible magic spell.

Elisa's Elder Brother: For six years, we have to make six garments out of nettles and we mustn't utter one word of complaint.

Elisa's Elder-less Brother: Nettles are very thorny.

NC (as Elisa's Elder-less brother): They told my voice like a Sword in the Stone kid. (a shot of the character from The Sword in the Stone from the movie is shown in the corner, as Arthur) Everyone calls it very thorny.

Merlin (from The Sword in the Stone, audio) Oh.

(back to the movie)

Elisa: Let me do it for you.

Elisa's Pre-Teen Brother: It would be much too hard for you, dear sister, because if you say one word or cry during the whole six years all of us will die.

NC (as Elisa's Pre-Teen Brother): Speak one word and make a sound and our brothers will not die after all. (a shot of Zoe from A Cat in Paris is shown in the corner) You go, mama.

Youngest Brother: It's up to us to break the spell, not our sister.

Elisa: I want to do it, my brothers.

NC (vo): When the sunrise appears as the brothers will leave at Elisa in the cave. Then she actually tell the magic tears again.

Tear #2: They're gone until next winter, Elisa.

Elisa: I love them all so much. I'm going to work very hard to release them from my stepmother's spell.

NC (as Elisa): This is how I learn the lesson to say "Mother!" a word. (a shot of Bambi, where the youngest titular character crying silently in wintry winds is shown in the corner.)

(With that said, we go to the commercial. As we return, Elisa begins to pick any nettles, to sew the shirts with the help of her tears.)

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