Little Audrey (1956, Pre-Origin Story) (Nostalgia Chick)



(The Channel Awesome logo and NC title sequence are shown)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it... I fuckin' hate Little Audrey, I fuckin' hate Little Audrey, I fuckin' hate Little Audrey, I fuckin' hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, LALALALALALALALALALALA-- (water is thrown on him and he calms down) ...Thank you. Anyway, I fucking hate Little Audrey.

(Clips from the intro to the Little Audrey cartoons are shown as NC speaks)

NC (vo): I mean, okay, I sort of respect it for being Paramount's weekly animated cartoon classics, that’s pretty impressive. But the animation is great, the stories are forgettable, and the characters just aren’t that interesting. They’re boring as hell! Disgustingly cute and disgustingly marketable. How can any child not get wrapped up in their disgustingness? That was it.

NC: Instead, we got the pre-origin story, a 1967 film about Little Audrey... (dramatically) in the nightmarish land!

(The title and the footage is shown as swing and jazz music plays)

NC (vo): Unless I could have the old one was the '60s bonus review. It's a hell of a pioneer special. ????? This movie's HORRENDOUS! It's horrendous! It's just ungodly! Unnatural! If a piece of fucking shit took a piece of fuck shit you could see! I mean, these are the guys that reviewing that very GOD-awful terrible movies based on cartoons such as Felix the Cat Movie, Tom and Jerry Movie, The Flintstones, A Goofy Movie and, of course, Casper. Oh, wait a minute.

NC: What does that piece of dipshit ghost calling her name before?

NC's Casper: Timing!

?????

NC (vo): So, Little Audrey escapes from her house with Petunia and she runs back to the city when suddenly she almost trapped in the mindfucks' dark forest, scaring the fucking innocent girl off!

NC: Yeah, let's hear that nightmare hell song the kids freaked the hell of this scene now!

(back to Little Audrey while the song plays "What You Did" from The Lost Dream, she running stop and screams, suddenly the many footages of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, the Headless Horseman is shown, laughing maniacally! Little Audrey runs back and suddenly Large Marge (Pee-Wee's Big Adventure) makes a hideous face is shown, Little Audrey screams and runs back, all of a sudden a footage of The Banshee (Darby O'Gill and the Little People) is shown, howling loudly! Finally, Little Audrey rolls forth and hit by the rock and the song ends.)

NC (vo; as Little Audrey): I will never be better anymore!

?????

Little Lotta: Make a jackass outta yourself!

NC: You know, for kids!

?????

THE END

Channel Awesome Tagline: Little Lotta: Make a jackass outta yourself!

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