South Park: Time Problems Transcript

#1 Opening Scene
(An overview shot of South Park at night comes up as Cartman voices over the scene)

Eric: Oh, the peaceful town of South Park, well it used to be peaceful until they arrived…

(It then showed the shot of a huge Mothership accompanied by many Alien UFO’s were starting to invade South Park)

Kyle: What the fuck do we do Stan?

Stan: Kyle, I need you to listen to me, if these Aliens came for your brother again, it’s time to kick their ass

Kyle: But I’ve never fought off any Aliens before, I mean I cursed at them but never fought them

Stan: Relax dude we’ll teach you isn’t that right guys?

The Boys: Yeah!

Eric: I don’t wanna teach some stupid Jew how to fight some weak ass aliens

Kyle: Don’t you bring my people into this you fat-ass..

(The flashback fades out as Cartman begins narrating again)

Eric: That day was 4 weeks ago and now I’m starting to believe that we’re all doomed if the government can’t figure out this alien mess

(A new kid suddenly rides past Eric on his bike and starts to get a new idea)