Nostalgia Critic- Jetix

Hyped up for action and adventure 24/7?! Then the Critic is about to show you the awesome-st (both good and bad) that the World of Jetix has to offer!

(The Channel Awesome logo and the title sequence play. After this, we fade to Yinyangyofan24 breaking the fourth wall by winking at the audience, wearing a self-made Yin Yang Yo! T-shirt, before racing to the TV.)

Yinyangyofan24: There's still time.

(He then races to the TV. He then hops on the couch and turns the TV on, which plays the Jetix logo.)

Yinyangyofan24: Aah, Jetix. What can I do without you?

Malcolm: Hey!

(Yinyangyofan24 turns his head, seeing Malcolm, Tamara, Walter, and Heather confronting him.)

Malcolm: You watching Jetix?

Yinyangyofan24: Yeah. What's the big deal?

Tamara: You shouldn't do that.

Walter: Yeah, Jetix sucks.

Heather: It has the worst garbage anyone can ever imagine!

Yinyangyofan24: Well, tough! I'm gonna like and watch what I like, and you can't stop me!

Walter: Oh yeah!

Tamra: Get him!

Yinyangyofan24: (small weak squeak, in fear)

(The four then beat the snot out of Yinyangyofan24, fighting for the remote.)

Yinyangyofan24: Ow, hey! Cut it out! Ouch! Ooof! Ow!

(The fighting continues until...)

Nostalgia Critic: Eh-hem!

(The stern voice of the Critic, dressed up as Lynn Loud Sr. from the Loud House minus the hair, stops the fight and gets everyone's attention.)

Nostalgia Critic: (stern voice) What are you kids doing?! What's all the commotion?!

Yinyangyofan24: I was gonna watch Jetix on TV, then these idiots jumped me!

Tamara: That's not fair! He was about to subject himself in vile crap!

Malcolm: But he won't listen!

Yinyangyofan24: Let me do what I want or I'll cut you wide open!

Walter: Okay.

(The fighting continues, this time Yinyangyofan24 defends himself.)

Nostalgia Critic: (sternly) Children!

(The fighting stops again.)

Nostalgia Critic: Let the boy watch the channel!

Malcolm, Tamara, Walter, and Heather: Huh?

Yinyangyofan24: (happily) Really?

Nostalgia Critic: (mood shifts from strict to joy) 'Cuz I wanna join!

Malcolm, Tamara, Walter, and Heather: What?!

Nostalgia Critic: (doing a Kamen Rider henshin pose) Critic...henshin!

(The Critic imitates a Kamen Rider transformation scene, with effects and jumping around. After he changes, he jumps around in the room three times, and lands in front of the couch. He is now wearing his usual attire, with a self-made Yin Yang Yo! T-shirt instead of his usual white shirt.)

Nostalgia Critic: (excited) It's time, it's time! Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it, so you don't have to!

Walter: Wait, Critic. You don't mean---

Nostalgia Critic: Okay, I know it sounds strange and hard to believe, out of my character, and y'all may hate me and flame me, whatever, but...throughout its run, I watched Jetix...

(Everyone else except Yinyangyofan24 have disgusted facial expressions on their faces.)

Nostalgia Critic: And I loved it!!!

Audience: (booing) Traitor of America!

Nostalgia Critic: No, really! It's so....traitor of America?! Well, excuse me!

(Clips from various Jetix commercials, bumpers, and shows play.)

Nostalgia Critic (vo): In 2004 through 2009, Disney launched an action-orientated programming block called Jetix. Of course it isn't as memorable as the Disney Afternoon and didn't last very long, given it approximately five years, but what Jetix did was groundbreaking! And of course I know that a lot of people hate Jetix, mostly because the shows were badly panned by critics, and it took up 50% of Toon Disney's programming.

Tamara: Ouch.

Heather: What a bunch of glory hogs.

Nostalgia Critic (vo): Despite that, Jetix took risks and did what no other programming blocks would ever do: appearing every single day! I mean, Jetix was everywhere, mornings on ABC Family and evenings on Toon Disney! And it has everything: it had bumpers, PSA's, sweepstakes, games, a cool mascot, an interactive TV card game!

(Everyone else except Yinyangyofan24 looked on in confusion.)

Yinyangyofan24: No, really. It's a thing. That actually happened.

Nostalgia Critic (vo): And of course, the most kick-ass, and sadly, the most overlooked shows on air! Regardless the effort they put in, Jetix didn't have a long life. It lasted from Valentine's Day 2004 to Friday the 13th 2009! That was one day before it even had its fifth anniversary!

Malcolm: Oooh, tough luck!

Walter: Who cares? Nobody gave a shit.

Nostalgia Critic and Yinyangyofan24: (shouting) BUT WE DO!!!

Nostalgia Critic (vo): Alongside being torn apart by critics and forgotten quickly, and kids who liked Jetix being punished by their pissed-off parents for watching it---

A clip of The Loud House showing Lynn Loud Sr. and Rita Loud being angry is shown.

Malcolm: I can imagine how that felt!

Nostalgia Critic (vo): As of today, most of these shows continue to be hated and forgotten by many, never got a DVD release or re-air, or never mentioned and referenced ever since. But luckily, after the block shut down, people who DO love Jetix growing up or not growing up still remember it fondly, and has gained a cult following over the years.

Heather: Wait! Are there people here who watched that? I weep for those who were broken by it.

Yinyangyofan24: I think they're much more than that.

Yinyangyofan24 (vo): And please note we're not gonna look at ALL of the shows on Jetix. We're just keeping it original, fresh, and short as we can. And dubbed anime and re-runs, unless we can make one or two exceptions, won't be allowed.

Malcolm: By the way, what made you want to watch Jetix in the first place?

Walter: You didn't watch Toonami much, but you watched Jetix more?!

Tamara: You are a mixed bag of weirdness.

Nostalgia Critic: (sulks) Just hear me out.

Nostalgia Critic (vo): Granted that, like Toonami, Jetix is too out of my age range. Hell, I even graduated college even before it came out. But some of my friends keep badgering me too watch it. So I did, and yeah, it does have a fair share of crap too. But after a glance of it, it really knocked my socks off! It really did!

(Clips of various Jetix shows continue to play.)

Nostalgia Critic: And don't worry, viewers. Throughout this episode, I won't talk about Batman and X-Men again. I'll give you all a break!

Audience: (cheering)

Nostalgia Critic (vo): And I also credit Jetix for airing classic shows, mostly those on Fox Kids like X-Men and The Tick.

Nostalgia Critic: Besides, why the hell would Disney air Superman, Batman, and Pinky and the Brain here? I mean, what the fuck?

Malcolm: And I can't believe you're forcing us to sit through this shit!

Walter: Like I said, Jetix sucks!

Yinyangyofan24: Maybe you suck! Here's an old saying: If you don't like what's on TV, then don't watch it! Oh wait, too late! You're gonna anyway! You see...

(Laser walls and barriers surround the room.)

Yinyangyofan24: I've upped the security by adding invisible force fields around the room.

Tamara: You jerk!

Malcolm: You're freakin' nuts!

Nostalgia Critic: And now, you're gonna see how much impact Jetix made, big or small, whether you like it or not!

(He then evil laughs with lightning effects.)

Heather: Jetix really did break them both.

Nostalgia Critic: So, keeping in theme with today's episode, we got two guest stars. Yinyangyofan24 is a true Jetix fan. He's gonna help us get through thick and thin!

Yinyangyofan24: (blushing) That's my name, don't wear it out!

Nostalgia Critic: And the other is Jetix's mascot. I would like you to meet...Jay!

(Jay appears, making his usual sounds, to everybody's dismay.)

Nostalgia Critic: No, that actually is, his name.

Tamara: What the fuck is that?!

Malcolm: I don't know what he is. It's a cat-mouse-rabbit thing that fused its DNA with metal marbles from Mouse Trap.

(An angry Jay morphs into a fist and punches Malcolm and Tamara.)

Malcolm and Tamara: Ow!

Nostalgia Critic: Hey now! Don't insult Jay and make him mad! He's sensitive.

(Jay winks and salutes. We then cut to the Jetix bumpers.)

Yinyangyofan24 (vo): Jay himself is one of the coolest mascots yet. He is confident, strong-willed, laid back, can clone himself, and can even shape-shift into almost anything to get out of any jam! He is unstoppable!

(Everyone else except the Critic look on in confusion.)

Yinyangyofan24: Hey now, bigger is not always better. Remember that.

Nostalgia Critic: Now, with everyone comfy with their 2000s nostalgia intact?

(Malcolm and Tamara get back up.)

Malcolm: Ow, God.

Tamara: What did I miss?

Heather: And angry parents who rightfully think this is poison to their kids' minds.

Yinyangyofan24's Imaginary Mom: Yinyangyofan24! Turn that shit off!

Yinyangyofan24: (irritated) Shut up, mom! This is the 2000s! We kids watch what we want!

(Everyone else turns on him, in shock.)

Nostalgia Critic: Jesus Christ, dude!

Tamara: And I thought my fights with my mom were bad.

Yinyangyofan24: (happily cooling off) There! Now with that out of the system, and false parental authority backing off...

Walter: Was he raised in the streets?

Nostalgia Critic and Yinyangyofan24: This is Jetix!

(Critic and Yinyangyofan24 do a handshake with electric guitar sounds)

(As the World of Jetix theme song plays, the Critic and Yinyangyofan24 were spazzing out like maniacs and dancing.)

Nostalgia Critic and Yinyangyofan24: (imitating Ash Williams) YEAH, BABY!

(Everyone else feel unimpressed as Critic and Yinyangyofan24 were rockin'.)