Superfans/Ranking and Explaining Every Spider-Man Love Interest

John and Debbie go through the list of the many good and horrible love interests of Spider-Man, ranking each from S to D.

Video
The intro plays.

John scrolls down, revealing way more than three love interests.
 * John: Welcome to Superfans, a channel dedicated to all things comic book, whether it be reviews, news, lore videos, and more. I'm John Townsend and I like comics.
 * Debbie: I'm Debbie Rhodes and I don't read 'em.
 * John: On Today's video, we'll be doing something kinda different. As you may have noticed, we're currently stuck in the corner of the screen and in front of you is a tier list. Well, today, we'll be ranking each of Spider-Man's love interests. I made this tier list myself, feel free to check the video description if you want to make your own. Now, Debbie, which of Spider-Man's love interests are you familiar with?
 * Debbie: MJ, Gwen Stacy and Black Cat is a love interest right?
 * John: Okay three isn't bad.
 * Debbie: ...how many love interests are there?

John creates a new tier called "Jill Stacy" that's below D and puts Jill in it.
 * Debbie: Dear lord.
 * John: For the record, this is ordered in the same way as a Screen Rant list but none of the information I'm saying came from there. Anyway, first up is Jill Stacy.
 * Debbie: Like Gwen Stacy?
 * John: Yeah, Jill is Gwen's cousin.
 * Debbie: Peter dated Gwen's cousin?
 * John: After she died, too.
 * Debbie: Oh my god...
 * John: Look, this isn't even the weirdest one.
 * Debbie: She's not?!
 * John: We'll get to them. Anyway, Jill Stacy first showed up in Adjectiveless Spider-Man--
 * Debbie: "Adjectiveless"?
 * John: You know how Spider-Man has adjectives like Amazing, Spectacular, Sensational?
 * Debbie: Yeah?
 * John: Adjectiveless Spider-Man was just called "Spider-Man".
 * Debbie: Then just call it Spider-Man.
 * John: Yeah, but that would be confusing cause everybody would wonder which one.
 * Debbie: Okay, fair point.
 * John: Anyway, Jill showed up as a college friend of Mary Jane's. At the time, Mary Jane and Peter were married though so Jill didn't show interest in Peter. UNTIL... Mary Jane was kidnapped and assumed dead.
 * Debbie: What!?
 * John: That's right, Peter Parker's rebound girlfriend while he was grieving his wife was Gwen Stacy's cousin.
 * Debbie: ...I hate Jill Stacy.
 * John: I am pretty sure everyone does.
 * Debbie: Can we put her in the F rank?
 * John: One sec.


 * John: Jill, it wasn't your fault, your writers were just weird and creepy. But, your storyline still sucked FAT nuts. I think even the writer realized mid-way what he was doing because after Mary Jane came back, Jill and Peter broke up and Jill never showed up again.
 * Debbie: Alright, who's next?
 * John: Have you heard of Debra Whitman?
 * Debbie: Nope!
 * John: Have you seen the 90s Spider-Man show?
 * Debbie: Some of it yea.
 * John: She was one of the characters in that show. They changed her... a LOT...
 * Debbie: How?
 * John: Well, from what I remember, she wasn't even a love interest in that show. Which is probably for the best because, I'm not gonna bury the lede, this is probably the most toxic relationship Peter Parker has ever been in.
 * Debbie: She's that bad?
 * John: ...Uh.
 * Debbie: What?
 * John: Okay, you may not believe me here, but Peter's actually the toxic one here.
 * Debbie: Are you joking?
 * John: Do I look like the joking type?
 * Debbie: Yes, you've made several jokes before.
 * John: ...Okay, yes I have, but I'm not joking this time. Anyway, Peter was, like... a gigantic asshole to Debra for no reason at all. Like, he kept ditching dates, he was always thinking about either Mary Jane or Gwen when he was with her, and he was just generally a really bad boyfriend. Like, he was still kind of grieving Gwen, but I don't think that excuses him... doing that stuff.
 * Debbie: What happened to her?
 * John: She ended up dating some guy called Biff.
 * Debbie: ...Biff?
 * John: It gets weirder.
 * Debbie: Of course it does.
 * John: Cause years later, Peter would find out that apparently Debra was schizophrenic and that her delusions had caused her to believe Peter Parker was Spider-Man.
 * Debbie: Peter Parker is Spider-Man.
 * John: Yes, he is but remember, it's a secret identity.
 * Debbie: Yeah?
 * John: And he didn't tell her.
 * Debbie: Oh, oh, okay, I get it now.
 * John: Yeah, and what's weirder is that her therapist convinced her that the way to snap her out of her delusions was for Peter to fake confess that he's Spider-Man.
 * Debbie: This seems like a storyline that was intentionally written to be confusing...
 * John: Yeah, right? Well, anyway, Peter did it and it worked, she broke out of her delusions.
 * Debbie: But now she thinks her delusions were right...?
 * John: It's not a very good storyline. But apparently it gave her the courage to leave her abusive husband, so that's a plus.
 * Debbie: Oh no, Biff...
 * John: No, she and Biff broke up, this is just some other third guy who came out of nowhere.
 * Debbie: Why is this more confusing than a Metal Gear game?
 * John: Oh just wait until we get to the Clone Saga.
 * Debbie: Oh believe me, I can wait. Is there anything else important about Debra?
 * John: Uh, during Civil War, Peter revealed his identity publically but it got erased later. During the time before it was erased, Debra published a book called Two-Faced: How Spider-Man Ruined My Life.
 * Debbie: Jesus...
 * John: In her defense, she didn't want to call it that, the publishers made her do it cause they thought that name would sell more copies. I think that's all the important stuff about her, though.
 * Debbie: Alright, she seems alright. I'd say rank her as a solid C.
 * John: Next up is... Captain Marvel.
 * Debbie: Aren't... they...
 * John: Okay, in their defense, Peter was in college when she first became a superhero, so they're closer in age than in most versions. Like, he's mid to late 20s, she's maybe early 30s.
 * Debbie: Is this because of that endgame joke?
 * John: They dated like fifteen years before Endgame.
 * Debbie: Oh. But I don't know, something about this feels weird. Like why are they dating?
 * John: I dunno, they teamed up a lot and I guess one of them liked the other. They went on one date though, only one.
 * Debbie: How'd it go?
 * John: Not well, Carol hangs around rich guys and is used to fine wine and Peter is a poor dude who brought her to a cheap ass restaurant.
 * Debbie: Captain Marvel sounds like a diva...
 * John: She... Yeah. They didn't go on another date but then years later when both of them were even older, Carol got possessed by the Venom symbiote and the symbiote claimed it read Carol's mind and that she had developed feelings for Peter since their date.
 * Debbie: Even though it ended badly...?
 * John: They had teamed up a lot more after that, so I guess something sparked. The comic ends with it pretty ambigous whether the symbiote was lying, but it DOES end with Carol claiming it to be a lie while cradling Peter in her arms and flying him off like Superman and Lois Lane, so make your own conclusions. Also, fun fact, Kamala Khan has been quoted as saying she ships the two.
 * Debbie: This is such a confusing ship. I'd say D. It's not offensive just boring.
 * John: Well this next ship is not boring because of the context. Meet Anna Maria Marconi.
 * Debbie: I can only think of macaroni and cheese with that last name.
 * John: MARCONI. It's Marconi.
 * Debbie: Still thinking of macaroni.
 * John: Okay... Well, Anna Maria Marconi was introduced in the storyline Superior Spider-Man. Do you know what that is?
 * Debbie: I think I heard of it. It's the story where Doctor Octopus swaps minds with Spider-Man, right?
 * John: Wow... you actually know something about a comic.
 * Debbie: Besides that, I don't know what happens in it or even why they swapped bodies.
 * John: Well, while Doc Ock was in Peter's body, he found out that Peter never actually got his doctorate, so he went back to college for him. While there, he met a woman around his age with dwarfism called Anna Maria Marconi and they... kinda hit it off. To the point that when Otto opened up his own company, Parker Industries--
 * Debbie: What?
 * John: We'll probably cover Superior Spider-Man some day. Anyway, he hired her to be one of his top scientists there and was even planning on proposing. Unfortunately though, Norman Osborn had found out that it was Otto and not Peter in charge and was taking full advantage, forming a criminal group called Goblin Nation that eventually kidnapped Anna. Otto found her but, in the moment, there was a train about to cross. And Otto, even if he claimed to be Superior, was still super selfish and was doubting if he should save her or save his own life.
 * Debbie: Otto sounds... like a pretty bad boyfriend.
 * John: This isn't even the worst thing he's done to a woman he was in love with. He once fell in love with Aunt May and when he found out May was getting married to a new man she met, he took over the city's power and caused car crashes and blackouts just to ruin her wedding...
 * Debbie: Oh god... What happened when Peter got his body back?
 * John: He immediately broke up with her.
 * Debbie: Poor Anna...