Sister Act 2: Sister Time (Musical)/Script

WARNING: *Sung lyrics in bold

Queue and Preshow
Timon: Hi, everyone! It's me, Timon. Sister Mary George and her friends are getting the wildlife footage all set up, so we should be starting the show real soon. Oh! I forgot. Just a little reminder to everyone, please don't put on your 3D convent glasses until you are seated inside the wildlife convent. Thank you.

Sister Mary George: Hiya, everybody! It's me, Sister Mary George! (laughs) Are you ready for the show? That's great, 'cause I'm getting ready to open these automatic doors. For those of you near our theater entrance, please be sure to stand away from the curtains and behind the yellow line and clear of the doors 'cause when I push the tiger, they're gonna open towards you. Now, uh, where'd that tiger get to? Hey, there it is! (laughs) Ready? Here we gooooooooo!

Peacock Leader: Oh, hi everybody! It's me, your peacock leader! Now that you're here, go ahead and pick a row you want to sit in, and keep stepping 'til you're all the way across. That's right, buddy. Keep it a-moving! (squawks) And for your safety, please don't go puttin' on your special 3D convent glasses until Timon tells you, okay? Thanks. For all of you coming in, thanks for filling in all the available seats. And all of you going out, thanks for making the seats available. (squawks) If you're still coming in, it's great to see ya! Now it's time to choose a row and move yourself all the way across, so you can fill up all the empty seats. That's right, madam. You show 'em how it's done! (squawks) Goodness, being a stage manager sure is fun. Sister Mary George? Sister Mary Zira? Sister Mary Olivia? HEY, GUYS!!!! Are you all done up there? My goodness, wonder where they went? (walking slowly, reused cat screech, then the Peacock Leader screams) Sorry, little kitty! (closes the door, opens the door) Almost ready! Hmm. How'd that get unplugged? I'll just plug one of them back in. (Peacock Leader puts one of the plugs in, causing him and us to get electrocuted which triggers hidden air cannons in the theater, and we all scream in pain as well with Peacock Leader. Then, Peacock Leader thuds, birds twittering) (laughs) That's better. (walks off the room and closes the door)

Prologue
Timon: Ladies and gentlemen, lions, tigers, and bears, buzzards (vultures), swans, and peacocks! We ask ALL of you to please refrain from eating, drinking, or using flash photography during today's performance. All right, everyone. Put on your 3D convent glasses because it's time to go back to 2004 with wildlife footage. (Timon takes us back to 2004.) OK, now! We are in 2004. Now, it's time to proudly present Sister Mary George and her brand-new friends from Nunsense and Sister Act One! (Applause from Neighborhood Animals. Timon opens the door, gasps, and runs to Sister Mary George) Sister Mary George! Where are Sister Mary Rafiki and your friends? Your friends are missing and it's showtime!

Sister Mary George: Showtime?

Peacock Leader: I gotta open the curtains!

Sister Mary George: Hey, peacock, we're not ready!

Peacock Leader: What's that? I can't hear ya, Sister Mary George!

Sister Mary George: Oh my gosh! Everyone, wake up! It's showtime! Don't forget the scenery. And I will be here at the door.

Sister Mary Julia: You heard her, guys! Let's set up the scenery!

Sister Mary Brendan: Let's set up the animal footage!

Sister Mary Serena: Yay! I love it!

Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Kiara: Okey-dokey-lion lokey!

(Sister Mary Kiara's dog barks in excitement!)

Sister Time
(Animal footage appears from Baby Noah. We hear the sound of a doorknob turning and a door swinging open behind the animal footage from Baby Noah.)

(We see the silhouette of of a nun as she stands in the shaft of light from the open door. The nun's footsteps echo as she walks down the shaft of light of a flashlight to a vulturine guineafowl on the floor. She picks the flashlight up and brings it to her eyes. It was Sister Mary George!)

Sister Mary George: In 2004, Sister Mary Mufasa built our convent near the Marriott's Grande Vista Hotel in Orlando, Florida and it seemed for some while thereafter that all the family's days would be warm and fair.

(Her gang of friends appear including Sister Mary Mufasa, Sister Mary Nala, Deloris Van Cartier, Sister Rafiki with her Rafiki costume from Broadway, Sister Mary Regina, and The Little Sisters of Hoboken with Father Virgil and Tevye.)

Nuns: '''The skies were blue and hazy Rarely a storm. Barely a chill. The afternoons were lazy, Everyone warm. Everything still.'''

Father Virgil and Tevye: Now there was distant music simple and somehow sublime giving the nation a new syncopation, the sisters called it Sister Time!

(Sister Mary Mufasa steps forward, a strong, commanding figure.)

Sister Mary Mufasa: I am well-off. Very well-off. My considerable income was derived from the manufacture of fireworks and bunting and other accouterments of patriotism. I am also something of an amateur explorer.

(Sister Mary Nala steps forward with a gracious, appealing lioness costume.)

Sister Mary Nala: The convent near Marriott's Grande Vista in Orlando, Florida was my domain. I took pleasure in making it comfortable for the nuns of my family, and often told myself how fortunate I am to be so protected and provided for by my friend!

Sister Mary Ono: Nala, will you cut it out? I worked in Mufasa's fireworks factory. I am a genius at explosives, herons, and even egrets! But I am also a young nun in search of something to believe in. My sister wondered when I would find it.

Sister Mary Rafiki: (Laughs) I had been a professor of a baboon, sangoma and a mandrill. Now retired and living with my daughter and her family, I am thoroughly smart by everything.

Sister Mary Regina: Hello, my friends! I am Sister Mary Regina, your reverend mother! I am from Nunsense! Come and see my new friends on the way! There are lots of animals here tonight. There were ostriches, gazelles, bears, gorillas, foxes, zebras, vultures, and...

Sister Mary Jefferson: SURPRIIIIIIIIISE! In the North Carolina convent, nuns and animals of color forgot their troubles, danced and reveled to the music of me! This was a music that was theirs and no one else's.

Sister Mary Sarah: One young woman thought Jefferson played just for me. My name is Sister Mary Sarah!

Sister Mary Washington: I am the most famous nun in the convent. I counseled friendship between the races and spoke of the promise of the future. I had no patience with raccoons who lived less than exemplary lives.

(Suddenly, a bald eagle flies around us. Then, our friend on her roller-skates appear with Sister Mary Kiara following her bald eagle as falconry.)

Sister Mary Korrina: YEEEEEEEEE-HAW! Number 99! And that's gonna be you! In my eagle enclosure, I dreamed of a new life for Sister Mary Kiara. It would be a long journey, a terrible one. I would not lose Kiara, as I had Kiara's mother. My name is Sister Mary Korrina! I never spoke of my wife! Kiara was all I had now. Together, we would escape.

(A bald eagle lands on Korrina's arm. Suddenly, Sister Mary Zira appears above the nuns.)

Sister Mary Paul: Sisters! Look, it's Zira!

Nuns, Father Virgil, and Tevye: Ooh...aah! Praise the Lord! Ooh...aah! Praise the Lord!

Sister Mary Zira: (Cackles) I am one immigrant who made an art of escape, and I do not like LIONS AND TIGERS, but Sister Mary George loves the lions and tigers in the zoo! I am a headliner in the top Vegas circuits.

(Sister Mary Geanette points with pride!)

Sister Mary Geanette: She is the main villain ever to win a soccer game!

Sister Mary Zira: I made my mother proud. But for all my achievements, I knew I am only the illusionist. I wanted to believe there was more... (notices Sister Mary George.) Hello, tiger.

Sister Mary George: WARN THE MONKEY!

Sister Mary Zira: What did you say?

Sister Mary Geanette: She said, WARN THE MONKEY!

(The nuns silently applaud and loudly laugh. The moment is broken as Sister Mary Zira is enveloped by her crowd of admirers.)

Sister Mary Olivia: COME ON, NOW! You lions are awesome! What do you call a cat and a lye? Well, a ly-on! (Laughing) Get it, a ly-on?

(Laughter.)

Sister Mary Morgan: We now make a convent great.

Sister Flamingo: They can't help it. At the very top of the Walter Pyramid, that's the very tip-top! Like Pharaohs reincarnate, stood Sister Mary Morgan and me! Sister Mary Flamingo! All nuns are equal but some man and beast are more equal than others, now the cream rises to the top.

Sister Mary Goldman: Let me at those sons of bitches! These hyenas are the demons who are sucking your very souls dry! I hate them!

Sister Flamingo: Someone should arrest that wild woman!

(Vultures circle around the sky and hyenas laugh at Sister Mary Goldman.)

Sister Mary Goldman: I, the radical anarchist fought against the ravages of convent capitalism as I watched my hyenas and vultures' hopes turn to despair on the Lower East Side.

(Suddenly, Sister Mary Simba appears, dressed in her adult Simba costume from The Lion King musical.)

Sister Mary Simba: La la la la La la la la la Whee!

Sister Mary Goldman: But our convent was watching another drama.

Sister Mary Simba: I am the most beautiful nun in Orlando. If I wore my hair in curls on the lion's mane, every woman wore your hair in curls.

Sister Mary White: I am the lover and the eminent architect, Sister Mary White, designer of the San Diego Zoo.

Sister Mary Paddington: I am your stepmother, the eccentric millionaire, I, Sister Mary Paddington, am a violent nun, polar bear, and HYENA! (Tranquilizes Sister Mary White with her tranquilizer gun)

Sister Mary Simba: After my stepmother tranquilized my lover, I became the biggest attraction in Vegasville since 1999!

(Guineafowl, owls, tigers, zebras, ostriches, cheetahs, and jaguars appear from offstage right joining Sister Mary Goldman!)

Sister Mary Goldman: And although the newspapers called the shooting the Crime of the Century, I knew it was after 1998...

Nuns: (Shouting) AND THERE WERE SIX YEARS LONG AGO!

Sister Mary Goldman: (Swinging on a vine) Yahooooooooo!

Nuns, Tevye, and Father Virgil: '''Now there was music playing, catching a nation in its prime beggar and millionaire everyone, everywhere! We're moving to the Sister Time!'''

(The dance swirls around our three principals: Sister Mary Nala, Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Jefferson, increasing in intensity. We now see the peacocks, tigers, and deer appear in moments of contact and confrontation. There is the potential for violence. The dance swells to a crescendo.)

Nuns, Tevye, and Father Virgil: Now there was distant music skipping a beat, singing a dream a strange, insistent music putting out heat, picking up steam the sound of distant thunder suddenly starting to climb it was the music of something beginning an era exploding, a century spinning in riches and seals, and in rhythm and rhyme the sisters called it Sister, Sister, Sister Time!

Goodbye, My Love
(Applause from Neighborhood Animals again. We hear the Stentorian blasts of an ocean-going steam vessel. Immediately we hear the confident sounds of a ship's Sousa-esque orchestra playing the "All ashore" music prior to its immediate departure. We are on the main deck of the ship that will be carrying Sister Mary Mufasa on an expedition to the North Pole with Sister Mary Brendan! Sister Mary Mufasa is bidding goodbye to her gang. They have all gathered to see her off. Various ship personnel, their friends and a wildlife society mill about the pier below.)

Sister Mary Mufasa: Everything will be fine, Nala. You'd think the world was coming to an end every time a nun sailed off to the North Pole with Sister Mary Brendan.

Sister Mary Nala: I shall miss you.

Sister Mary Mufasa: Of course, you will. But it's only a year. Nothing much happens in a year. The world will not spin off its axis. Nothing will change, Nala. We will miss each other, but the world will stay the same.

Sister Mary Rafiki: I hope not. What this world needs is a good swift kick in the sangoma.

(Sister Mary Ono heard a roar of a lion.)

Sister Mary Ono: Look! Down there! On the pier! It's her! Sister Mary Simba! She's even more beautiful in real life than she is in the magazines. I'm going to try to speak to her.

Sister Mary George; Me too!

Sister Mary Clarence: Me three!

The Little Sisters of Hoboken: ME US! (Laughter)!

Sister Mary Mufasa: GUYS! You'll see Sister Mary Simba!

Sister Mary Paul: I want to see her, too.

Sister Mary Mufasa: You're the nun of the convent now. You have to keep an eye on Nala for both of us. Will you do that?

Sister Mary George and her friends: (to Mufasa) Yes, ma'am!

Sister Mary Mufasa: Good!

Sister Mary Rafiki: I want to go home. It's so great. Everyone, say goodbye!

Sister Mary Mufasa: I will miss you, Rafiki!

Sister Mary Rafiki: Then stay home.

(Sister Mary George's friends including Sister Mary Rafiki, Sister Mary Ono, Sister Mary Clarence and The Little Sisters of Hoboken walk offstage right.)

Sister Mary Nala: Come back soon and safe to us!

Sister Mary Mufasa: That is my intention.

Sister Mary Nala: And promise to see your tamed polar bears and walruses?

Sister Mary Mufasa: I promise. Now, unless you want to be the only woman left on a shipful of nuns, you'd better get ashore!

(Laughter.)

Sister Mary Mufasa: I'm sorry. That was coarse. Goodbye.

(Sister Mary Mufasa kisses Nala!)

Sister Mary Mufasa: Stay well. God bless you! (The other nuns and church people are waving their final farewells to the departing explorers. Sister Mary Nala watches as the figure of Sister Mary Mufasa recedes.)

Sister Mary Mufasa: And remember to cancel our subscription to the Polar Bear. I left money for an emergency under the library rug. Don't smile. You can never have enough money. And you'll remember to bring in the dahlias? Goodbye. Say a prayer for us. God bless our convent. God bless each and every one of us.

Sister Mary Nala: Goodbye my love

God bless you

And I suppose

Bless America too

You have places to discover

Oceans to conquer

You need to know

I'll be there at the window

While you go on your way

I accept that

But what of the people

Who stay where they're put

Planted like flowers

With roots underfoot

I know some of those people

Have hearts that would rather

Go journeying on the sea

Tell me what of the people

Whose boundaries chafe

Who marry so bravely

And end up so safe

Tell me how to be someone

Whose heart can explore

While still staying here

Let this be the year

We both travel

Goodbye my love

Journey on.

(Sister Mary Mufasa and Sister Mary Brendan can be seen on the bridge of their ship. It is night. We now see the tamed seals, walruses, caribou, and polar bears on the ship. Even the African penguins are on the ship too!)

Journey On
Sister Mary Mufasa: It's an honour to go on expedition with you, Sister Mary Brendan. It's the nun like you who've made this convent great!

Sister Mary Brendan: It's the nun like you who will keep it great, your Majesty.

Sister Mary Luke: All sails set, Brendan!

Sister Mary Brendan: Thank you, Luke. This is my cousin, Sister Mary Luke.

Sister Mary Mufasa: Good evening.

Sister Mary Brendan: Welcome aboard!

Sister Mary Mufasa: What's that? In the distance? Such a ghostly glow!

Sister Mary Brendan: They're called zoo ships. Immigrants from every zoo worldwide. Most of them are captive, injured, or healthy. They're your future animals, new friends I tell you!

Sister Mary Luke: My pets were also brought here on ships. Is it that right?

Sister Mary Brendan: Good watch, Luke!

(Sister Mary Brendan and SIster Mary Luke go offstage left. Sister Mary Mufasa stares across the dark waters to the tiger striped ship. At some distance she sees Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Kiara with their dog!)

Sister Mary Mufasa: You're a brave nun, whoever you are. Coming so far, expecting so much! A salute to the nun on the deck of that ship!

A salute to the immigrant stranger

Heaven knows why you'd make such a terrible trip

May your own god protect you from danger

Is it freedom or love that you pray for

In your guttural accent

Too late, long gone

A salute to a fellow

Who hasn't a chance

Journey on.

(Sister Mary Korrina appears with her bald eagle to Kiara.)

Sister Mary Korrina: If sisters ask, how old are you?

Sister Mary Kiara: I am 10 years old.

Sister Mary Korrina: Your favorite wild animals?

Sister Mary Kiara: The eagle and the tiger.

Sister Mary Korrina: And where is your mother, NOW?

(The music stops!)

Sister Mary Kiara: DEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! (Kiara's loud voice makes us cover our ears! After Sister Mary Kiara said DEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD, Sister Mary Kiara's new pet dog like Korrina's bald eagle whines to Sister Mary Kiara! A vulture lands on the ship!)

Sister Mary Korrina: AAAAH! Sister Mary Kiara, that's too LOUD! This is my friend. She speaks for both of us.

Sister Mary Kiara: This is my friend. She speaks for both of us. Is that other ship going back home?

Sister Mary Korrina: NOOOOOO! The convent is our home now. The convent is our zoo.

Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Kiara: This is our zoo!

(Sister Mary Kiara's dog barks to the vulture. The vulture flies off from the ship, illuminating Sister Mary Mufasa and Sister Mary Korrina.)

Sister Mary Kiara: Look. Someone is waving! Where is she going?!!?

Sister Mary Korrina: She is a fool on a fool's journey. You depart on a ship from a convent like this

Why on earth would you want to be leaving

Was it something you lost that you suddenly miss

Are you angry or possibly grieving

Do you see in my face what you've lost, friend

Are you moved by the death ship we sail upon

Well, perhaps you're a nun who's in search of your heart

Journey on.

Sister Mary Mufasa: Journey on.

Sister Mary Korrina, Sister Mary Mufasa, and Sister Mary Kiara: Two ships passing

In the kinship

Of the darkness-

Sister Mary Mufasa: One going from...

Sister Mary Korrina: One coming to...

Sister Mary Kiara: Our new convent!

Sister Mary Korrina, Sister Mary Mufasa, and Sister Mary Kiara: Three nuns meeting

At the moment

Of a journey

For a moment

In the darkness

We're the same

(Sister Mary Nala was on top of the Marriott hotel with her pet rooster. We now see Sister Mary George sleeping on her bed on top with her peacock.)

Sister Mary Nala: But what of the rooster whose boundaries chafe?

Sister Mary Mufasa: I salute you, my friend!

Sister Mary Nala: Who marry so bravely and end up so safe?

Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Kiara: May you find what you need.

Sister Mary Nala: I will be journeying here, my love as you go!

Sister Mary Mufasa and Sister Mary Kiara: As you go

Sister Mary Korrina, Sister Mary Nala, Sister Mary Mufasa, and Sister Mary Kiara: Journeying on the sea! We're two ships passing at a distance through the darkness!

Sister Mary Mufasa: One going from...

Sister Mary Korrina: One coming to...

Sister Mary Kiara and Sister Mary Nala: Our new convent!

Sister Mary Korrina, Sister Mary Nala, Sister Mary Mufasa, and Sister Mary Kiara: Strangers sharing

The beginnings

Of a journey

Sister Mary Mufasa: I salute you!

Sister Mary Korrina: God be with you!

Sister Mary Nala: I will miss you!

Sister Mary Korrina, Sister Mary Nala, Sister Mary Mufasa, and Sister Mary Kiara: In the darkness of the dawn, journey on!

Sister Mary Simba's Introduction and Crime of the Century
Sister Mary Ono: I am in love with Sister Mary Simba. Ever since that first glimpse of her on the pier, nothing else mattered. I am late for work. I got the otter! I dreamed of writing her name with fireworks in the sky.

When she opened in a new review at Rainforest Cafe on Disney's Animal Kingdom with lots of food and jungle animals, I took the day off and I'm first in line to buy a ticket!

(A whistle like Mr. Pteranodon went RRRRRRRRRRRR! Timon, The Jury, Sea Lions, and Wolves run onstage in chaos! Sister Mary Ono runs to her seat behind the elephants and next to a swan at the "Trial of the Century".)

Timon: And now, testifying for the defense, Sister Mary Simba!!!!

(Sister Mary Simba jumps from offstage right!)

Sister Mary Simba: Hello, gentlemen! Whee!

Sea Lions: La la la la

La la la la la

(Sister Mary Simba roars like a real lion!)

La la la la

La la la la la

Sister Mary Simba: Your honor, I AM once the lesbian friend of Sister Mary White.

Sea Lions: She's the famous architect!

Sister Mary Simba: Yes, that's right.

She puts me on a lion's mane

And made me wear, well

Hardly anything

Ruined at the age of fifteen!

Your honor,

Then I went and married Sister Paddington

Sister Mary Simba and Sea Lions: Eccentric millionaire!

Sea Lions: (Barking Twice)!

Sister Mary Simba: She is so convent wise!

Wolves: '''BANG! BANG!'''

Sister Mary Simba: She is now tranquillized!

Sea Lions and Wolves: Boo hoo!

Sister Mary Simba: '''Your honor, be fair. My Paddy went crazy, I swear!'''

Sea Lions: La la la la la!

Animals and Sister Mary Simba: '''Now it's the Crime of the century! Crime of the century! Giving the world a thrill!'''

Sister Mary Simba: Paddy's in trouble and White's in heaven, now I'm in the new Vegasville!

Animals and Sister Mary Simba: The crime of the century

Crime of the century

All for a youthful fling

Fortune, fame

And a ruined name

Sister Mary Simba: '''And now I'm the new Lion King! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!'''

Sister Mary Ono: Quickly, I am now in love with Sister Mary Simba. From my regular seat behind the giant elephants, I would lean far over the table, hoping my goddess would notice me. One night I almost fell. Simba caught sight of me and smiled. Life was suddenly full of delicious possibilities!

Sea Lions: (Barking Twice Again)!

Sister Mary Simba: Paddy must not be hung!

Sea Lions: '''(Gavel bangs two times!) BANG! BANG!'''

Timon: (spoken) LET'S HAVE THE VERDICT SUNG!

Sea Lions and Wolves: Boo hoo!

Magpie: (spoken from offstage right) Your honor we find that Paddy's NOW guilty.

Sister Mary Simba: (spoken) My Paddy's NOW GUILTY!

Animals, Sister Mary Ono, Sister Mary Simba, Timon, The Jury, Sea Lions, and Wolves: '''CAUSE PADDY IS OUT OF HER MIND! And it's the crime of the century'''

Crime of the century

Making the world go (Hollering whee)!

Paddy's in trouble

And White's in heaven

Sister Mary Simba: (spoken) And I get my new publicity!

Animals, Sister Mary Ono, Sister Mary Simba, Timon, The Jury, Sea Lions, and Wolves: '''The Crime of the century! Crime of the century! Not such an awful thing.'''

Sister Mary Simba: '''White's in bed and I finally said! Cause now I'm the new-ah -'''

Animals: Now she's the new-ah -

Sister Mary Simba: Now I'm the new

Animals, Sister Mary Ono, Sister Mary Simba, Timon, The Jury, Sea Lions, and Wolves: Lion King!

Sister Mary Simba: WHEEEEEEE! (Flying to Sister Mary Ono. Timon, The Jury, and Sea Lions with Wolves run offstage. She is being hounded by an unrelenting reporter.)

Reporter: Daily Journal, Sister Mary Simba! Is it true you haven't visited your lesbian in the asylum since the trial?

Sister Mary Simba: I don't know what you're talking about!

Reporter: And you have nightmares about your lover's shot-off face?

Sister Mary Ono: (below the leopard) Leave...the lion... ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! (Ono's loud voice makes us cover our ears like Sister Mary Kiara in Journey On!)

Sister Mary Simba: Thank you! You! You're at the tradition (Rainforest Cafe) every night! (A leopard roars with a cougar growl) You've never missed a performance and ate all the food. You deserve MY reward! (She kisses with Sister Mary Ono like a lesbian making us laugh wildly!) Is that what you wanted?

Sister Mary Ono: I love you, Sister Mary Simba!

Sister Mary Simba: Would you repeat that for the press?

Sister Mary Ono: YES! YES! I LOVE TO!

Sister Mary Simba: You love the new Lion King. Well, now you can say I kissed you. But I could never love a nun as poor or as thin or as nice as you. I'll blow you a wedding kiss from the Rainforest Cafe again tomorrow night, if I haven't forgotten all about you!

(Sister Mary Simba goes offstage followed by the REPORTER carrying Sister Mary Ono.)

Sister Mary Ono: (Offstage carried by a reporter) I am going to change the world for yoooooooooou!

Hakuna Matata (Gramophone) and Garden Scene
(We hear Hakuna Matata from the Broadway recording being played by a gramophone. The words seem to mock Sister Mary Ono. At the same time, Sister Mary Nala with Sister Mary George and their friends will appear in the next scene. She is humming along with the song, making ready to work in the garden of our convent.)

Sister Mary Ono: '''Hakuna Matata! Hakuna Matata! Hakuna Matata! Hakuna Matata, YOW!'''

Sister Mary Nala: I say Hakuna.

(Sister Mary Ono stops the gramophone music.)

Sister Mary Ono: I LOVE THAT FAVORITE SONG!

(Sister Mary Ono rushes into our convent as Sister Mary Rafiki mows the grass through our garden.)

Sister Mary Ono: Guess what I see! Nine white-tailed deer! Can I see them?

Sister Mary Rafiki: (Stops mowing) Correction. You will see the deer. They're tamed in the exhibit! You'll show them to us. You trust Sister Mary Rafiki, she knows what she's talking about.

(Sister Mary Rafiki walks offstage left continuing mowing.)

Sister Mary George: Is Sister Mary Simba the Harlot of Babylon?

Sister Nary Nala: Where did you hear that?

Sister Mary George: I read it in one of Sister Mary Rafiki's magazines.

Sister Nary Nala: I want to see your animals right now. I'm sure Sister Mary Simba is a very nice person. She's just confused. She's strayed from the path.

Sister Mary George: What path?

Father Virgil: The right path! The one we all want to be on if only we could and if only it weren't so difficult!

Sister Mary George: Not for lesbians it's not. Nuns are tested almost every day of their Christian lives.

Sister Mary Nala: But your friends are Catholic AND Christian. You know that.

Sister Mary George: I'm Catholic and Christian! GUYS! COME HERE!

Sister Mary Luke and Sister Mary Brendan: We're back! We're back! We're back! We're back!

Sister Mary Luke: We are here in our convent! We saw the whole thing!

Sister Mary Brendan: We saw the peacocks welcomed in the aviary and then...

Sister Mary Luke and Sister Mary Brendan: We saw the jaguar cub!

Sister Mary Clarence: Awww... How adorable! I want to see seven orphaned jaguar cubs in the convent and zoo!

(A plane flies above, advertising an appearance by Sister Mary Zira that said "See my dynamite-laden box escape tomorrow at 9:30 AM!". Sister Mary Nala runs offstage right, terrified!)

Sister Mary George: OH NO! Zira's coming! Can we go? I'll do anything. Please!

Sister Mary Iris: OK, Sister Mary George! Lions, tigers, and bears! We want everyone to yell, "Warn the Monkey!" like Sister Mary George did on the count of ten, really, really loud! Ready? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

(Sister Mary George and her gang calls up to Sister Mary Zira's plane as it circles overhead.)

Us, Sister Mary George and her friends: WARN THE MONKEY!!!!

Sister Mary Iris: One more time!

Us, Sister Mary George and her friends: WARN THE MONKEY!!!!

Sister Mary Iris: Whoa! Did ya hear ’em, Nala? Did you hear... THEM?

(They stand watching the plane fly offstage overhead as we hear it fly away. Sister Mary Nala pops out from offstage right.)

Sister Mary Nala: YES! Warn the Monkey! Now make some loud animal noises, my friends! Cause you just yelled like Sister Mary George! Awesome!

Sister Mary George: ROAR!

Sister Mary Iris: SQUAAAAAAAAWK!

Sister Mary Rafiki: (Loud monkey noises making us laugh!)

Sister Mary Julia: (Cheetah growls and chirps)

Tevye: (Walrus bellows)

Sister Mary Robert Anne and Sister Mary Hubert: (Barking in a low voice) Woo! Woo!

What Kind Of Woman?
(Sister Mary Nala uses her magnifying glass. She has found something meowing in the bush!)

Sister Mary Nala: (Gasps) RUUUUUUUUN! GO GET THE GANG!

Sister Mary George: What's wrong?

Sister Mary Nala: Get the gang, I tell you! Call the doctor, Sister Mary Zazu!

(Sister Mary George runs into our convent! Sister Mary Zazu and her friends join Sister Mary Nala. In silence, they look at the swaddled kitten Sister Mary Nala is holding in her arms.)

Sister Mary Iris: It's... It's a...

Sister Mary George and her friends: LION!!!!!!

Sister Mary Paul: LION! (Screams)

Sister Mary Leo: RUUUUUUUN!

Sister Mary George's friends including Sister Mary Zazu (Excluding Sister Mary George): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! (They run offstage left in terror!)

Sister Mary Zazu: Aww! Is it alive? Oh, please, God, let it be.

Sister Mary George: It's alive! It's a lion cub! An ORPHANED lion cub from Africa.

Sister Mary Zazu: It's like Moses in the bulrushes. You better come look. I think he's still alive.

Sister Mary Lazarus: Yeah. OK, what have we got here? JESUS CHRIST! It's a lion! Run, guys, move it! Oh, he's so adorable! Look at him. He's so cute, and all alone! Can we keep him?

Sister Mary Willard: Yes, of course we can keep him!

(Sister Mary George's friends walk to our convent.)

Sister Mary Nala: What kind of woman

Would do such a thing

Why in God's nameIs my husband not here?

I'm such a fool

Why did I say

He was free to go

What am I to do

Where are your instructions

My dear

You left me lists

Everything in lists

Well your little lists

Aren't very helpful I fear

Each day the maids

Trudge up the hill

The hired help arrives

I never stopped to think

They might have lives

Beyond our lives

Sister Mary Ono: They're here!

Policeman: We found her in the cellar of a home on the next block. She's a washwoman and nun there. Her name is Sarah.

Sister Mary Nala: Where will you take her?

Policeman: To the charity ward. Eventually she will have to stand trial.

Sister Mary Ono: What charges?

Policeman: Well, attempted murder, I should think.

Sister Mary Nala: What's going to happen to the lion cub?

Sister Mary Zazu: They have places for unfortunates like this.

Sister Mary Nala: I will take responsibility for mother and lion cub. Please take Miss Sarah inside! What kind of woman

Would do what I've done

Open the door

To such chaos and pain

You would have

Gently closed the door

And gently turned the key

And gently told me not to look

For fear of what I might see

What kind of woman

Would that have made me?

The Monkey and Sea Lion Song To the Zoo (A Shtetl Iz Amereke) and Success
(We are in the zoo ship. Suddenly, all the Old World and New World monkeys and apes and California sea lions began making loud noise into singing!)

Chimpanzee and his son: A shtetl iz Amerike

Amekhaye khlebn

Gorilla and his son: Es rut oyf ir di shkinele

Sea Lions: '''Merica, Merica. Bel massolino do fior.'''

New World Monkeys: Mir zoln azoy lebn

Mik khomes, biksn

Mentshn blut

A gubernator darf

Mennit

A keyser oyf

Kapores.

Amerike!

Amerike!

Amerike!

Amerike!

America!

(Next the peacocks arrive.)

Peacocks: Bel massolino

Di fior

Merica, Merica

Bel massolino

Di fior

Merica, Merica

Bel massolino

Di fior

'''Merica! Merica!'''

'''Merica! Merica!'''

'''Merica! Merica!'''

'''Merica! Merica!'''

America!

Gran mesi

Washington

Ki ba nou l'Amerik

Gran mesi

Washington

Gran mesi

Washington

Ki ba nou l'Amerik

L'Amerik!

L'Amerik!

L'Amerik!

L'Amerik!

(The monkeys, apes, peacocks and sea lions have the big finish!)

Monkeys, Apes, Peacocks, and Sea Lions: America!

Sister Mary Korrina: I promised you my new convent, and little one, we're there!

Peacocks and Sister Mary Kiara: America! (Sister Mary Korrina: STOP THAT! Just our convent, okay?) (Sighing joylessly)

Sister Mary Kiara: Our feet are on the solid ground and hope is in the air!

Sea Lions and Sister Mary Kiara: America! (Sister Mary Korrina: Just our convent!)

Sister Mary Korrina: '''You'll soon be eating pumpkin pie from off a china plate. Elephants, Walruses, just wait! For shining in your vulture's eyes and just beyond this gate!'''

Sea Lions, Apes, Monkeys, Peacocks, Sister Mary Korrina, and Sister Mary Kiara: Our new convent!

(The first gates are raised. There is a surge forward and we are on the zoo in Florida!)

Sea Lions, Apes, Monkeys, Peacocks, Sister Mary Korrina, and Sister Mary Kiara: (Cheers!) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Sister Mary Korrina: Here in our new convent, anyone at all can succeed.

Animals: '''Our new convent! Here in our new convent!'''

Sister Mary Korrina: Do what you do, and the world will come to you, guaranteed!

Animals: '''Our new convent! We're in our new convent!'''

Sister Mary Korrina: I may be just a maker of art, but here you could start with less and make a success!

(A grey parrot begins to set up his cart full of animal pictures and begins to address the animals in the zoo.)

African Grey Parrot: Step right up and have a zoo animal made by a real artist! With ordinary colorful paper, a pair of scissors and some glue, I will give you a thing of such beauty! A life-like animal of someone you love. Zoo animals of your favourite celebrity.

Mary Simba, hey look!

She's on her Vegas stage

Maria Zira, she practically escapes From the page

Only a nickel, don't walk away!

Someday these will impress when I'm a success!

(Sister Mary Goldman approaches the parrot's cart. She examines Morgan's animal pictures.)

Sister Mary Goldman: Sister Mary Morgan! You should be ashamed of yourself, comrade.

Sister Mary Morgan: (Offstage) Oh. Sorry!

African Grey Parrot: Don't make a lecture, Sister Mary Goldman. I'm here to work, not make politics. (The parrot draws a peacock to Sister Mary Goldman.) Here you go!

Sister Mary Goldman: Work is politics.

Zebra: You are barking up the wrong tree, Mary Goldman. I am black-and-white. I work for no one. Trade unions are fine but they are not for me. Now be nice and don't move.

African Grey Parrot: (to the zebra and Sister Mary Goldman) This is an Indian blue peacock because I admire you anyway. (Sister Mary Goldman starts to say something.) Sshh! That doesn't mean I have to listen to you. I am in your socialist grey macaw over there; I'm not jumping into the same fire over here.

Sister Mary Goldman: What's your name?

Sister Mary Korrina: My name is Sister Mary Korrina so you can call me Korrina like everyone else.

Coyote: Arwooooo! Because, you're not a zebra! Arwooooo! What about her mother?

Sister Mary Korrina: DEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD, I said I worked for no one. Not true. I work for my friend. My bald eagle is my falconry friend.

Leopard: With my compliments, Sister Mary Goldman.

Sister Mary Goldman: You can call me Zemma. (She reacts to the mute swan.) Mein Gott, what a kisser! (She reaches in her pocket and a monkey picture comes out of her pocket!) Here.

Sister Mary Korrina: You're insulting me, Sister Mary Goldman!

Sister Mary Goldman: It's not for you! It's for Kiara!

Animals (including Sea Lions, Apes, Monkeys, and Peacock): AAAUGHH!!

Penguins: '''Our new convent! Our new convent!'''

Grey Parrot: Look at the elephants

Here in the tenements

Bent over sewing

Or dancing or arguing

Thousands of animals

Thousands of stories to tell

Look at them, little one

Such opportunity

Right on the corner of

Orchard and Rivington

We'll make our wild beasts

Think how they'll sell

We'll join the parade

Of zoo animals all doing well!

(Now Sister Mary Morgan thunderously appears high above the masses on a "bridge". As she sings, the bridge lowers until it practically crushes the zoo animals, HARD!)

Otters: '''Success! Success!'''

Sister Mary Morgan: I'm Sister Mary Morgan, my friends, the wealthiest nun on this earth!

Ostriches: Success!

Sister Mary Morgan: You animals, look up to me and you'll see what money is worth!

Gazelles: Success!

Sister Mary Morgan: One day your immigrant sweat might get you the whole lioness! Yeah!

(The gazelles are squashed beneath Sister Mary Morgan. Sister Mary Zira magically appears and sings directly to Sister Mary Korrina!)

Sister Mary Zira: And if you're trapped

And failure seems imminent

Think of me, Zira!

That fabulous immigrant!

Break those chains with all you possess!

(She has freed herself again! She holds her chains above her head in triumph!)

Sister Mary Morgan and Penguins: '''This is our new convent! This is the home of success! Success!'''

(Suddenly, more and more animals gather around the street. As the vultures circle around, Sister Mary Korrina attempts to "succeed" as a zoo animal-maker becomes more and more desperate. Zoo animals continue to gather at them including ravens and frogs.)

Sister Mary Goldman: The angry, fetid tenements of the Orlando, Marriott were worse than anything! Sister Mary Korrina and her wife had suffered from Tanzania. Sister Mary Kiara was often healthy now. Korrina wrapped her in her zebra blanket. What rabbi would disapprove?

(A chill wind begins to blow.)

Penguins and Otters: Our new convent!

Sister Mary Goldman: Are you a rich nun yet, Korrina?

Sister Mary Korrina: Yes! Don't make fun!

Sister Mary Goldman: I'm not making fun. I think you are already rich in spirit and good of heart. It's just your griffon vultures that have flown off.

Sister Mary Korrina: Please, Sister Mary Goldman. I'm working. This is my busiest time. You're blocking the sidewalk!

Sister Mary Goldman: I'm sorry.

(The animals glare at Sister Mary Korrina.)

Olive Baboon: Step right up! Without art, what is our existence but chaos?

Sister Mary Goldman: You, baboon! (She whips the baboon!) There's a rally tonight at Vulture Square during Sister Mary George's exile.

Macaroni Penguin: I told you, Sister Mary Goldman, there's an exile. (to Sister Mary Korrina) Your daughter needs to eat!

(Suddenly, a vulturine guineafowl flock appears with a cheetah, tiger, hyacinth macaw, and elk!)

Vulturine Guineafowl: How much?

Cheetah: You see? Opportunity knock, I answer!

Vulturine Guineafowl: I said how MUCH!?!?

Sister Mary Korrina: Five cents but for you I'll make it three. You have a vulture head, I'll save on the paper.

Vulturine Guineafowl: Not for a tigerette, you stupid zebra. How much for the little girl, SISTER MARY KIARA!?!?

(Sister Mary Korrina takes a moment to digest this and then violently fights the vulturine guineafowl. A polar bear rushes forward to pull Sister Mary Korrina off the frightened vulturine guineafowl.)

Polar Bear: Hey, easy, you want to wrestle them?

Sister Mary Korrina: Yes! I want to reach inside and pull their hearts out!

Polar Bear: You stupid vulture!

Sister Mary Korrina: I am not a "vulture"! I am Sister Mary Korrina. And she is not for sale!

(Sister Mary Korrina holds Sister Mary Kiara close to her. She can no longer escape the reality of her failure and unfulfilled dreams.)

Sister Mary Korrina: Look at my daughter, God!

Why have you brought us here?

How can I feed her right now

Or protect her here?

Where's the wildlife convent

We were supposed to get

Was it a tigerette?!!?

Hey, monkeys!

Here in our new convent

Anything you want, you can be!

Sucker, step up!

And I'll cut you out your own guarantee!

Come see the artist!

Big shot, oh yes!

This is our zoo!

Hooray and God bless!

I'm a success!

I'm a success!

Success!!

Success!!

(Sister Mary Zira appears again!)

Sister Mary Zira: And if you're trapped

And failure seems imminent

Think of me, Zira!

That fabulous immigrant!

Break those chains with all you possess!

Sister Mary Korrina: I promised you wildlife convent and little one... We will find it.

(Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Kiara pack their belongings onto their peddler's cart and aggressively ride the cart offstage. Animals follow the cart!)

Timon: (to us) LET'S ALL GO GRAZY! Hey, wait for me!

Her Name Was Sister Mary Jefferson, Gettin' Ready Time, and Sister Ford!
(We are in the North Carolina convent. We see all the nuns including Sister Mary Robert and Sister Mary Patrick. We see the animals gathering at Sister Mary Jefferson.)

Nuns: Her name was Sister Mary Jefferson.

Sister Mary Perpetua: She's a native of Virginia some years before.

Sister Mary Miguel: When she heard the music of old Scott Joplin...

Peacock: In Virginia...

Mute Swan: Bought herself some piano lessons working as a stevedore.

Elephant Seal: There was a music that truly inspired her.

Flamingos: Dancers required her!

Zebras and Wildebeests: Club owners hired her!

Nuns and Animals: The strivers of NC respected and admired her!

Cougar: For turning NC into art...

Sister Mary Jefferson: But I myself had a broken heart... The Good Lord looked down, saw me lonely and loveless and thought to myself: "Enough is enough. I'm putting Sarah in Jefferson's life." And I did! This wasn't a woman. This was an angel, a gift of God. I myself loved this woman, but not wisely and not too well. She left me without a word or trace. There was no pity for me.

Sister Mary Antioch: None whatsoever, Jefferson.

Sister Mary Jefferson: Now she is haunting me

Just like a melody

The only song I seem to know

Sarah, my life has changed

Sarah, I miss you so

Sarah, I did you wrong

Sarah, where did you go? And then this morning, the miracle happened. I found out where she is and I'm going to do my ramdest to see she takes me back. My fellow friends, (The nuns and animals groan.) The Gettin' Ready Time! (The nuns and animals scream and shout in wild excitement! Camels appear circling the nuns and animals.)

Sister Mary Jefferson and her friends: Gettin' Ready Time!

(The camels circle around the nuns and animals again!)

Gettin' Ready Time!

(The camels circle around the nuns and animals the third time.)

Gettin', Gettin', Gettin' Ready Time!

Flamingos: Anything it takes.

Zebras and Wildebeests: Anything you need.

Nuns and Animals: You gotta find your lesbian, Jefferson and win her back!

(Camels circle around again.)

Sister Mary Jefferson and her friends: Gettin' Ready Time!

Zebras and Wildebeests: Ready as you'll ever get...

Sister Mary Jefferson: Not yet!

Flamingos: Gotta win the lesbian, Jefferson!

Sister Mary Jefferson: Think of what a better nun she'll see when Sister Flamingo puts me at the wheel of a Vulture-Feathered V!

(The Vulture-Feathered V appears vulture feathered wings on the limousine with peacock feathers on the bottom wows us in excitement! Sister Mary Flamingo appears and sings to Sister Mary Jefferson.)

Sister Mary Flamingo: See my people

Well, here's my theory

Of what this convent

Is moving toward

Every worker

A cog in motion

Well, that's the notion of Sister Ford.

One nun tightens one nun ratchets

And one nun reaches to pull one cord

Your car keeps moving in one direction...

Nuns and Animals: '''A genuflection to Sister Ford. Hallelujah, Praise the maker of the Vulture-Feathered V!'''

Sister Mary Flamingo: '''Speed up the belt. Speed up the belt, Sam!'''

Sister Mary Flamingo and her friends: Hallelujah!

Sister Mary Jefferson: Lions, take her!

Nuns and Animals: '''Sure amazin'! How far some fellas can see!'''

Sister Mary Flamingo: Speed up the belt

Speed up the belt, Sam

Speed up the belt

Speed up the belt, Sam

Sister Mary Flamingo and her friends: Speed up the

Speed up the

Speed up the

Speed up the belt

Mass production

Will sweep the nation

A simple notion

The world's reward

Sister Mary Flamingo: Even sisters who ain't too clever

Can learn to tighten a nut forever

Attach one pedal

Or pull one lever

Sister Mary Flamingo and her friends: Sister Ford!

Flamingo!

Sister Ford

Flamingo!

Sister Mary Flamingo: Grab your goggles!

Sister Mary Flamingo and her friends: And off you go!

Wildebeests and Zebras: Climb aboard! Climb aboard! Climb aboard! Climb aboard!

Sister Mary Jefferson and her friends: We're ready, Lord!

The Zebras Run Loose!
(We are now in the Africa exhibit with the giraffes, vultures, pelicans, gazelles, wildebeests, antelope, guineafowl, cheetahs, ostriches, and zebras near the farm with farm animals including donkeys, horses, chickens, geese, ducks, and sheep. Sister Mary Zira and Sister Mary Goldman begin to hunt and kill the first zebra!)

Cheetah: (Laughs)

Ruppell's Griffon Vulture: Shut up.

Cheetah: I can't help it. I'm so hungry. I gotta have a zebra.

Ostrich: Stay put.

Cheetah: Well, can't I just pick Zebra 10 (Ten)?

Ostrich: No, No, No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! We wait for the signal from Sister Mary Goldman and Sister Mary Zira. There they are. Let's go.

(Suddenly, Sister Mary George bangs a gong offstage!)

Sister Mary Zira: (Gasp!) That's the signal! GO!

(Sister Mary Goldman waves her arms to the zebras!)

Sister Mary Goldman: Hey, zebras! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Want some grub? Don't mind me. Eat it while you can! Eat all you want!

Zebra 10: But, I am staying with the ostriches and the giraffe!

Sister Mary Zira: Eat all you can! All you want! That's right. Today's Thanksgiving for zebras but only if they came back from the wild and the zoo. I will shoot you DEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Zebra 10: Oh dear, just like she said! RUUUUUUUUN!!!!!

(Quickly, the giraffes, vultures, pelicans, gazelles, wildebeests, antelope, guineafowl, cheetahs, ostriches, and zebras began escaping from the Africa exhibit and stampeding to the farm! Sister Mary Goldman and Sister Mary Zira try to kill an ostrich using their needles, but the ostrich scares and kicks Sister Mary Goldman and Sister Mary Zira away!)

Ostrich: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! Get out! Get out! Get outta here! Get outta here and never come back!!

(Finally, Sister Mary Zira and Sister Mary Goldman prepare the kill of a lion on Zebra 10.)

Zebra 10: Don't kill me!

Sister Mary Zira and Sister Mary Goldman: Yes, we will!

(Suddenly, Sister Mary Zira and Sister Mary Goldman's syringes plunge into Zebra 10's belly making Zebra 10 scream like a child having a tantrum and a girl having vaccine shots. The dose is injected. Sister Mary Goldman and Sister Mary Zira drop the zebra to the ground. Sister Mary Goldman and Sister Mary Zira's needles are still dangling out of his belly. The zebra looks dazed. He tries to walk and falls over on its side. He get ups again and walks until Sister Mary Goldman and Sister Mary ZIra pounce on Zebra 10 and kill Zebra 10 to the hyenas and vultures!)

Zebra 10: HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! (His last words die with blood. The raven mourned on the zebra's carcass and flies to tell the animals the news.)

(Meanwhile, the giraffes, vultures, pelicans, gazelles, wildebeests, antelope, guineafowl, cheetahs, ostriches, and nine zebras run to the barn with a raven. When the the giraffes, vultures, pelicans, gazelles, wildebeests, antelope, guineafowl, cheetahs, ostriches, and nine zebras go inside the barn with a raven, a barn owl and his farm animals love the plan.)

Barn Owl: Good escaping, but where is Zebra 10 (Ten)?

Raven: I mourned for him.

Ruppell's Griffon Vulture: He is killed by Sister Mary Goldman and Sister Mary Zira.

Pink-Backed Pelican: Zebra 10 (Ten) went to heaven and his carcass is fed to the hyenas and vultures! We must go to an exile!

The Night That Sister Mary Goldman Spoke at Vulture Square and Gliding!
(We are now in the workers hall called Vulture Square. Sister Mary Korrina, Sister Mary Kiara, and the animals watch Sister Mary Goldman.)

Sister Mary Goldman: I have just returned from Orlando, Florida. I met a teenage nun there, an artist, a poet with scissors and paper, but who now stands at a table with animal pictures sixty-four hours a week. She has a bald eagle. I almost did not recognize her. Her pay is eighty-eight thousand.

Sister Mary Korrina: My daughter is shivering. There will be heat. There are vultures and the swans that fly around us.

Elephant Seal: You looked like your own lioness and lion cub.

Sister Mary Korrina: I will not bow down to these wild beasts. I will dine on their coffins, she will dance on their grave.

Sister Mary Goldman: This is not the wildlife zoo she came here for. None of us did. None of us!

(Sister Mary George and her friends nuns appear quietly.)

Sister Mary Nala: (To Father Virgil) Daddy... it can't be true.

(We see the animals gathering Sister Mary George and her friends including Sister Mary Simba, Sister Mary Jefferson, and Sister Mary Zira.)

Cheetah: It's Sister Mary George. What's she doing here?

Giraffe: That's Sister Mary George.

Macaroni Penguin: Look at her backpack... I can't believe she's here. That's Sister Mary George?

Sister Mary Nala: Sister Mary George.

Sister Mary Zira: Sister Mary George! I'm a little surprised to see you, Alive...

(Sister Mary Simba yells, "HEY!" and jumps forward, slapping Sister Mary Zira making us laugh! Sister Mary George approaches down the narrow aisle between the congregated animals.)

Macaroni Penguin: I never trusted her...

Okapi: It's the girl who came back...

Sister Mary Flamingo: It's that little troublemaker...

Timon: Why I oughtta... let me at her! Let me at her! Here. Hold me back.

Sister Mary Lazarus: All right.

Timon: (Timon runs in place, held back by Sister Mary Lazarus and Peacock Leader.) Let me at her! Let me at HEEEEEEEER!

Sister Mary Lazarus: (She lets go of Timon's tail!) Okay!

Timon: I think you're missing the basic point here.

Sister Mary Lazarus: Timon! Sister Mary George was our friend who helped you.

Peacock Leader: Whoops, I almost DID remember her.

(The nuns and animals murmur at Sister Mary George.)

Sister Mary Goldman: Why have you come back?

Sister Mary George: Zemma... I had nothing to do with...

Sister Mary Goldman: You don't belong here.

Sister Mary George: Please... I ask your forgiveness.

Sister Mary Korrina: Daddy, please... listen to her!

Timon: She's right, you have to listen to her, she's protecting you!

Father Virgil: (to Sister Mary Korrina and Timon) Silence! (to Sister Mary George) When you first came here, you asked for judgment...

Zoo Animals: Give Father Virgil and Sister Mary Goldman what she deserves!

Sister Mary Goldman: ...And I pass it now.

Macaroni Penguin: Kick her out!

Giraffe: That's right! Judgment day is here!

Sister Mary Goldman and Father Virgil: EXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE!!

Sister Mary George's Friends: No!

(Sister Mary George's friends except for Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Kiara and their animals except for the raven, Peacock Leader, and Timon began shouting wildly, "Exile her!" "Exile!" "Whoo!" "Yeah! Get out of the hall!" and "Get her out of there!" to Sister Mary George and we see that the elephant seal and Sister Mary Goldman are addressing a rally and Sister Mary George's exile. Sister Mary Ono is in her zoo. We now see the thunderstorm footage on two windows.)

Sister Mary Korrina: No! Sister Mary George!

Raven: Sister Mary Goldman, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!

Elephant Seal (with her nuns and animals to Sister Mary George): But there is hop, comrades. Eight weeks ago, these same animals - Sea lions, pigs, bears, horses, and geese - with one voice said "No!" to the wild beasts and went on strike. They are starving, their crocodiles are surviving but they are holding firm, and we must support them.

Sister Mary Ono: It was thunder in the city

As the rain began to fall

And the protocall had animals to spare.

When I myself stepped inside

Just to warm myself, was all

The night that Sister Mary Goldman spoke at Vulture Square.

(Sister Mary George's friends and their animals began shouting again to Sister Mary Ono and Sister Mary George!)

Timon: Not again! Run, Sister Mary George! Run!

Peacock Leader: Get Sister Mary Ono out, now!

Sister Mary Korrina: Oh no! Sister Mary Ono! You got to do something!

Sister Mary Brendan and Sister Mary Luke: Come on! Get them out!

Ostrich: Run away and never return!

Elephant Seal: Get out of the hall! You are banished by Sister Mary Goldman!

Sister Mary Goldman (with her nuns and animals to Sister Mary Ono and Sister Mary George): What is happening in Virginia is happening everywhere. Let us at last make this the land of opportunity for all man and beast, not just the owners. The land of opportunity for Korrina and Kiara. We cannot rest!

Sister Mary George: She was speaking loud and fast

Through a haze of noise and heat

And the smell of sweat and anger in the air!

The police were standing by

But the zoo was on its feet

The night that Sister Mary Goldman spoke at Vulture Square.

Sister Mary Goldman (pointing at Sister Mary Ono): YOU!

Magpie: (to Sister Mary Ono) You thought you heard them say...

Sister Mary Goldman and Elephant Seal: What brings you here today?

Hyenas, Marabou Storks, Crocodiles, and Vultures: Poor young rich nun!

Sister Mary Zira: '''Fighting with a Vegas tart! What a waste of a fiery heart was near!'''

Sister Mary Ono: I thought she said...

Animals and Nuns: Poor young boar-goy!

Sister Mary Goldman: '''There are things that you've never thought. Come to Zemma and you'll be taught here!'''

Great Horned Owl: My head was spinning!

Sea Lions: We are flippered and tarred, my friend

Unions broken and why for

Crocodiles laboring, foxes still enslaved!

Leave your little backyard, my friend

There are causes to die for!

Nuns and Animals: (to the cobras and snakes ready to bite and kill Sister Mary Ono and Sister Mary George!) STRIKE!

Sister Mary George: With the peacocks on the city

I have tried to find some meaning

Nuns and Animals: (to the cobras and the snakes again!) STRIKE!

Sister Mary Ono: In the arms of a fallen zebra in the thought of suicide!

Nuns and Animals: (to the cobras and the snakes one more time!) STRIKE!

Sister Mary Ono: Like a firework unexploded

Wanting life but never knowing how...

Sister Mary Goldman: My Ono

Life has meaning

I'll show you how...

Sister Mary George and Sister Mary Ono: Till now!

Sister Mary Goldman: My vultures, you’re

With us now!

Nuns and Animals: WHOOHOOO!

Sister Mary George and Sister Mary Ono: We were calling out her name

Shouting what, We did not know

And we found that we're standing on a chair

With a heart as clean and new

As the freshly fallen rain, no snow!

The night that Sister Mary Goldman spoke...

Sister Mary Goldman and Elephant Seal (to Sister Mary George and Sister Mary Ono): I've been waiting for you.

Sister Mary George and Sister Mary Ono: At Vulture Square.

Nuns and Animals: (to the snakes and cobras) STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!

(Sister Mary Goldman is being arrested. The elephant seal joins the animals. Sister Mary Ono and Sister Mary George pick up the challenge. We are now outside of Vulture Square. Vultures circle around us. Marabou storks are ready to peck us and snakes are ready to bite Sister Mary Ono and George!)

Sister Mary Ono: The strike in Texas became famous. The press called it the Convent's Crusade. Public indignation grew. Our beasts were not slow in calling in the militia to protect their property.

White Dove: Take the bread.

Macaw: It's WITH charity!

Peacock: Your walrus wants you strong.

(Sister Mary Korrina and Sister Mary Kiara are in their room, getting ready for her departure.)

Sister Mary Korrina: This is a wise plan. It's too dangerous here. You're going to a nice zoological home for 2017. I made certain. These are your mittens. See? I put a string so you don't lose them. Your friend thinks of everything! The cheetah will be on the train with you, Kiara. I'll come for you soon. (Shouting) Now hurry! You'll miss the train!

Cheetah: (offstage) Put the raven on the train! Get them out of here!

Raven: (Flying inside the train.) Ba-kaw!!!!

(Sister Mary Korrina gives Sister Mary Kiara to a cheetah we saw from the street scene boarding the train for Virginia and safety. The hyenas and vultures are ready to kill the nuns and animals. The nuns and animals scream. Suddenly, violence is everywhere. A mallard duck runs near Sister Mary Korrina, she swallowed by a hyena. As Sister Mary Korrina checks the duck inside the hyena...)

Sister Mary Korrina: I hate you, ramdamned WILDLIFE CONVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!!

(...a leopard pounces and scares the hyena throwing out the mallard duck flying off alive and roars at Sister Mary Korrina! Sister Mary Korrina was chased by a large trumpeting African elephant ready to chase the leopard! She is terrified of the battle until the hyenas and vultures scare off the leopard and elephant away! The platform around her was crowded with animals. We hear the sound of the train beginning to move off. We see the animals saying "Goodbye! Have fun!" to the train. A raven flies to Sister Mary Kiara's shoulder.)

Sister Mary Kiara and Raven: Waah! Waah! Waah! Waah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(Sister Mary Korrina is suddenly aware of what is happening. She begins to run with a cheetah in the direction of the train. Hearing the crying of the ten-year old Sister Mary Kiara with her raven, she jumps on to the back of the train. She climbs onto the caboose and holds Sister Mary Kiara and the raven! We see the animals saying "Goodbye, Korrina!" to the train.)

Entr'acte, Sister Mary Jefferson's Soliloquy, and Sister Mary Jefferson Demands!
(We now see Timon and Peacock Leader as two commentators.)

Timon: And now, lions, tigers, and bears, the moment you've all been waiting for. Without further ado, presenting Act...

Peacock Leader: Wait!!! What happened to Sarah? Does Sister Mary George and her friends get free? Are we going to 2012 (Twenty Twelve)? I want guarantee! Will the lion cub be OK?

Timon: Well, I'll give you a clue: When Act One is done, What happens?

Peacock Leader and Timon: Act Two!

Ostrich: (offscreen) It's time to go to 2012 (Twenty Twelve)! Come on!

(We are now in 2012, Year of the Dragon. A Chinese dragon flies above us.)

Timon: When we last saw Sister Mary Sarah, she was hopelessly trapped!

(We see Sister Mary Sarah inside the orca like Pinocchio as we saw her in Act One!)

Sister Mary Sarah: HEEEEEEELP! Get me out of here! I'm inside an orca whale!!!!

Timon: The convent is safe and Vulture Square was scrapped.

(We see the vultures circling around the destroyed Vulture Square by Sister Mary Zira and Sister Mary Goldman.)

Sister Mary Zira: Mmmmmm, KFC Chicken and carrots! My favorite snack!

Sister Mary Goldman: Dig in the spaghetti, vultures! DIG IN!

(The vultures eat the spaghetti!)

Timon: Now, Sister Mary George was helpless. I think you know why.

Timon and Peacock Leader: Her wings are so mighty she could circle and fly!

(We now see Sister Mary George circling around us.)

Sister Mary George: WHEEEEEEEEEE! Look at me guys!

Timon: So our story resumes on a terrible day...

Timon and Peacock Leader: As Sister Mary Jefferson gets carried away!

(Timon and Peacock Leader watch Sister Mary Jefferson sing.)

Sister Mary Jefferson Say goodbye to Music

Say goodbye to Light

Anything I cared for

Take it from my sight

Let me see no Future

Let me hear no Sound

Only Darkness and Pain

The Anger and Pain

The Blood and the Pain

They buried my Heart in the ground

In the ground

When the whale swallowed You with the sound

I see your face

And we will ride

On the wheels of A new dream

SarahA new time Sarah

Now, I'll play them the music of something beginning

An Era EXPLODING

A century spinning---MY LAW AND MY JUSTICE

In rhythm and rhyme!

Listen to that Sister Time!

(Bang! Bang! Bang! Three tranquillizer shots are fired--Headline projected: "Three Giraffes Tranqullized!")

Vulturine Guineafowl 1: Extra! Polar Bear destroys The Lion King Company!

Vulturine Guineafowl 2: Smart raccoon nun shoots three tranqullized!

Vulturine Guineafowl 3: Extra! Terror stalks Orlando! Murderer's demands revealed!

Sister Mary Jefferson: One--that my car be returned to me in its original condition.

Two--that the white excrescence know as Sister Mary Conklin, the one who instigated this crime, be turned over to me for my justice. Nothing less, nothing more.

(All over the city, the animals react to the news.)

Going to 2014
Timon: Well, Sister Mary George worked harder and ate more food.

Peacock Leader: What happens next?

Timon: It's 2014, Year of the Horse! Get ready to see Sister Mary Zira escaping from the box! And after that, we will see the basketball game!

(We are now in 2014, Year of the Horse. A horse rears up to us.)

Peacock Leader and Timon: OK, let's go and see what Sister Mary George is up to something!

(We see the poster that said, 'Sister Mary Zira's Explosive Escape on 9:30 AM!" as the following dialogue is heard.)

Sister Mary George" WARN THE MONKEY, ZIRA!

Timon: Sister Mary George, that was wonderful!

Peacock Leader: Are we going to see Sister Mary Zira?

Sister Mary Annette: Guys, COME ON! You have the chance to go on and see Sister Mary Zira, you can see her escaping out of the box like wild dragons, and you don't want to go?!!?

Sister Mary Mufasa: (to Sister Mary George) I will watch you with your raven. Good night Sister Mary George.

(The lights went out to transition to the next scene.)

Sister Mary Zira, Master Escapist and What a Game!
(Sister Mary George and the raven are having a nightmare! Even Sister Mary Mufasa is watching Sister Mary George and the raven sleeping in their bed. The raven saw the poster again that said, 'Sister Mary Zira's Explosive Escape on 9:30 AM!".)

Sister Mary George: Sister Mary Zira the master escapist, master of getting free.

(We now see the poster revealing Sister Mary Zira ready to escape from inside the explosive dynamite-laden box!)

Sister Mary Zira: (Coming out of the poster) Holding my breath I'm dancing with death '''as daring as I can be! Enter the master, safe from disaster, making the people gay!'''

(Quickly, we hear a piano roll like a drumroll as Sister Mary Zira went inside the box. Sister Mary Korrina, Sister Mary Kiara, and a crowd of people, nuns, and animals watch her. We see Sister Mary Zira's hand coming out of the box. Sister Mary Mary Conklin with her firemen and their pet Arctic fox raise Sister Mary Zira up, up, up, until... A gong bangs loud making us cover our ears! KER-BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! Sister Mary Zira comes out of the box and we see her screaming and flying to offstage right! A crowd cheers! These noises cover our ears again! Sister Mary George and the raven are wide awake!)

Sister Mary George and Raven: Sister Mary Mufasa! Sister Mary Mufasa!

Sister Mary Mufasa: Sister Mary George, what is it? What's going on? What are you doing out of your bed? You just had a nightmare, AGAIN!

Sister Mary George: Something terrible is going to happen. An explosion! Sister Mary Zira is GOING TO KILL ME!

Sister Mary Mufasa: Sister Mary George, if you love basketball instead of your nightmare of Sister Mary Zira, it's a convent pastime!

Back to Before
Raven: Are you OK, Nala?

Sister Mary Nala: That's right. You watch me, OK?

Raven: OK.

Sister Mary Nala: There was a time our happiness seemed never-ending

I AM so sure that where we were heading was right

Life was a road so certain and straight and unbending

Our little road with never a crossroad in sight

Back in the days when we spoke in conventized voices

Red to white and sturdy young nuns at the oar

Back in the days when I let you make all my choices

We can never go back to before

There was a time my feet were so solidly planted

You'd sail away while I turned my back to the sea

I AM content, a princess asleep and enchanted

If I had dreams then I let you dream them for me

Back in the days when everything seemed so much clearer

Black and white who knew what their lives held in store

Where are they now, those women who stared from the mirror?

We can never go back to before

There are people out there, unafraid of revealing

That they might have a feeling

Or they might have been wrong

There are people out there, unafraid to feel sorrow

Unafraid of tomorrow

Unafraid to be weak, unafraid to be strong!

(The yaks and swans in G major turn into lions in A major! The raven loves the lion pride!)

There was a time when you were the person in motion

I am your wife, it never occurred to want more

You were my sky, my moon and my stars and my ocean

'''We can never go back to before! We can never go back to before!'''

(At the end of the song, Sister Mary Nala and the raven are surrounded by enthusiastic lions, swans, and yaks! She walks offstage with them leaving the raven alone. White doves appear on the perch in A major again.)

White Doves: A day of peace.

A day of pride.

A day of justice.

We have been denied.

Let the new day dawn,

Oh, Lord, I pray!

Raven: (to Sister Mary Nala offstage) Great job! Go on! Get out of here! (Laughs) Whoo! (Laughs) Whoo! Whoo! (The raven lifts his newspaper over his head!) Whoo!

Epilogue (The Grand Finale)
(Sister Mary Zira prepares to throw Sister Mary Mufasa in the exhibit filled with ostriches, wildebeests, giraffes, and zebras!)

Sister Mary Zira: Long...live...the QUEEN!

Sister Mary Mufasa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Sister Mary George and her friends: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Sister Mary George's friends run offstage. The vulturine guineafowl we saw from the beginning watches Sister Mary George speak to us!)

Sister Mary George: The era of Sister Time continued!

Vulturine Guineafowl, Tigers, and Peacocks: (Cheers)!

Sister Mary George: As if 2018 were no more than a tune on a player piano. But now we know that then.

(She summons her friends we saw in the beginning! Her friends appear in line like a choir!)

Sister Mary Ono: During Sister Mary Jefferson's protection, I flew to the Walmart market in Norton to get SALMON! MY FAVORITE FOOD!

(Dogs barking 5 times in tune!)

Sister Mary Goldman: The signs of the coming wildlife were everywhere. The anarchist myself am arrested again, of course, but this time I would be deported, as well.

Sister Mary Washington: My all-new favorite Tuskegee Institute became, in time, the Walrus of South America. When I survived, flags were flown at half-mast. Madeline and Zazu attended my contest. WHOOOOOOOOO!

Sister Mary Rafiki: I myself resided now in a tree with birds. At last, peace and quiet! (Birds chirping)

Sister Mary Simba: The passionate and beautiful Sister Mary Simba would be the queen of the San Diego Zoo. Whee!

Sister Mary Zira: I myself am attacked, defeated, and killed by lions and tigers in 2021!

Sister Mary George and her nuns with Father Virgil and Tevye: WARN THE MONKEEEEEEEEEY!

Sister Mary Zira: George's brand-new friends words suddenly rang clear to the great illusionist. It was the one genuine mystical experience of my life. But it was too late. The world was already with LIONS AND TIGERS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Lions and tigers roaring and eating Sister Mary Zira!)

Sister Mary Mufasa: When the stampede began in the Columbus Zoo, twelve wildebeests, nine giraffes, two ostriches and ten zebras began stampeding in the same direction and then killed MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Sister Mary Nala: I wore black for a year. At the end of this time, Korrina proposed and I accepted. I adored her!

Sister Mary George: We are moved to California!

Sister Mary Kiara: We were now a family.

Sister Mary George: And we felt blessed!

Sister Mary George and Sister Mary Kiara: JEFFERSON!

(A very smart black bird flies into Korrina's arms with the bald eagle. It's a raven again! The animals are ready!)

Sister Mary Korrina: In 2022, the last year period, I had an idea for a movie! Your bunch of wild beasts! Alligators, Bears, Camels, Deer, Elephants, Flamingos to Zebras! My wildlife are getting into trouble, getting out of trouble, but together despite their differences. I am sure it would make a wonderful movie -- a dream of what this convent could be. I would be first in line to see it!

(Sister Mary George and her friends appear upstage, on opposite sides of the stage. Sister Mary Jefferson raises the raven up in to the air like Kiara from The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride!)

Sister Mary Jefferson: I see his face!

Sister Mary Sarah: I hear his wings flap!

Sister Mary Jefferson and Sister Mary Sarah: I look in those eyes; How wise they seem!

(We now see Sister Mary George raising up Sister Theodosia up like Jefferson and Sarah!)

Animals: '''Well, when she (Sister Mary Theodosia) is old enough, I will show her the new convent. And she will ride...our friend will ride... on the wheels of a dream!!!!'''

After the Show
Timon: HEY! You're back in 2022! Thank you for joining our show! We like to thank you for enjoying our songs for your ears. At this time, please gather all of your personal belongings and take BIG and small children by the hands as you exit through the open doors at the side of the convent.

Peacock Leader: Please put your 3D convent glasses in the bins! If you love our show, please come back for one more sequel for Sister Act, drumroll please! (Timpani drumroll is heard one more time from Crime of the Century ending with a gong bang!) Sister Act 3: The Teacher Guard!

Timon: Well, That Concludes Our Show and Please Remember, friends!

Peacock Leader: God Made You Special and He Loves You Very Much!

Timon and Peacock Leader with Sister Mary George and her friends: SEE YA!

Timon: (waving to us as we exit the show.) Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your day in the Indianapolis Zoo (Houston Zoo)!

Peacock Leader: HAVE FUUUUUUUUN!

(We see Timon, Peacock Leader, and Sister Mary George with her friends meet and greet us after we leave the show!) <span class="w6" style="white-space: nowrap; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: none; line-height: 1; height: 1px; font-family: ff0, &quot;Comic Sans MS&quot;, &quot;Comic Sans MS5&quot;, cursive; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; display: inline-block; width: 6px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 66px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; widows: 2; word-spacing: -2px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> <span class="w7" style="white-space: nowrap; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: none; line-height: 1; height: 1px; font-family: ff0, &quot;Comic Sans MS&quot;, &quot;Comic Sans MS5&quot;, cursive; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; width: 7px; display: inline-block; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 66px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; widows: 2; word-spacing: -2px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;"> <span class="w6" style="white-space: nowrap; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; border: none; line-height: 1; height: 1px; font-family: ff0, &quot;Comic Sans MS&quot;, &quot;Comic Sans MS5&quot;, cursive; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; display: inline-block; width: 6px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 66px; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; widows: 2; word-spacing: -2px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial;">