Sister Act 2: Sister Time (Musical)/Script

WARNING: *Sung lyrics in bold

Sister Time
(Animal footage appears from Baby Noah. We hear the sound of a doorknob turning and a door swinging open behind the animal footage from Baby Noah.)

(We see the silhouette of of a nun as she stands in the shaft of light from the open door. The nun's footsteps echo as she walks down the shaft of light of a flashlight to a vulturine guineafowl on the floor. She picks the flashlight up and brings it to her eyes. It was Sister Mary George!)

Sister Mary George: In 2004, Sister Mary Mufasa built our convent near the Marriott's Grande Vista in Orlando, Florida and it seemed for some while thereafter that all the family's days would be warm and fair.

(Her gang of friends appear including Sister Mary Mufasa, Sister Mary Nala, Deloris Van Cartier, Sister Rafiki with her Rafiki costume from Broadway, Sister Mary Regina, and The Little Sisters of Hoboken with Father Virgil and Tevye.)

Nuns: '''The skies were blue and hazy Rarely a storm. Barely a chill. The afternoons were lazy, Everyone warm. Everything still.'''

Father Virgil and Tevye: Now there was distant music simple and somehow sublime giving the nation a new syncopation, the sisters called it Sister Time!

(Sister Mary Mufasa steps forward, a strong, commanding figure.)

Sister Mary Mufasa: I am well-off. Very well-off. My considerable income was derived from the manufacture of fireworks and bunting and other accouterments of patriotism. I was also something of an amateur explorer.

(Sister Mary Nala steps forward with a gracious, appealing lioness costume.)

Sister Mary Nala: The convent near Marriott's Grande Vista in Orlando, Florida was my domain. I took pleasure in making it comfortable for the nuns of my family, and often told myself how fortunate I was to be so protected and provided for by my friend!

Sister Mary Ono: Nala, will you cut it out? I worked in Mufasa's fireworks factory. I am a genius at explosives, herons, and even egrets! But I was also a young nun in search of something to believe in. My sister wondered when I would find it.

Sister Mary Rafiki: (Laughs) I had been a professor of a baboon, sangoma and a mandrill. Now retired and living with my daughter and her family, I am thoroughly smart by everything.

Sister Mary Regina: Hello, my friends! I am Sister Mary Regina, your reverend mother! I am from Nunsense! Come and see my new friends on the way! There are lots of animals here tonight. There were ostriches, gazelles, bears, gorillas, foxes, zebras, vultures, and...

Sister Mary Jefferson: SURPRIIIIIIIIISE! In the North Carolina convent, I forgot their troubles and danced and reveled to the music of me! This was a music that was theirs and no one else's.

Sister Mary Sarah: One young woman thought Jefferson played just for me. My name is Sister Mary Sarah!

Sister Mary Washington: I am the most famous nun in the convent. I counseled friendship between the races and spoke of the promise of the future. I had no patience with raccoons who lived less than exemplary lives.

(Suddenly, a bald eagle flies around us. Then, our friend on her roller-skate appears with Sister Mary Kiara following her bald eagle as falconry.)

Sister Mary Korrina: YEEEEEEEEE-HAW! Number 99! And that's gonna be you! In my eagle enclosure, I dreamed of a new life for Sister Mary Kiara. It would be a long journey, a terrible one. I would not lose Kiara, as I had Kiara's mother. My name is Sister Mary Korrina! I never spoke of my wife! Kiara was all I had now. Together, we would escape.

(A bald eagle lands on Korrina's arm. Suddenly, Sister Mary Zira appears above the nuns)

Sister Mary Paul: Sisters! Look, it's Zira!

Nuns, Father Virgil, and Tevye: Ooh...aah! Praise the Lord! Ooh...aah! Praise the Lord!

Sister Mary Zira: (Cackles) I am one immigrant who made an art of escape, and I do not like LIONS AND TIGERS, but Sister Mary George loves the lions and tigers in the zoo! I am a headliner in the top Vegas circuits.

(Sister Mary Geanette points with pride)

Sister Mary Geanette: She is the main villain ever to win a soccer game!

Sister Mary Zira: I made my mother proud. But for all my achievements, I knew I was only an illusionist. I wanted to believe there was more... (notices Sister Mary George.) Hello, tiger.

Sister Mary George: WARN THE MONKEY!

Sister Mary Zira: What did you say?

Sister Mary Geanette: She said, WARN THE MONKEY!

(The nuns silently applaud and loudly laugh. The moment is broken as Sister Mary Zira is enveloped by her crowd of admirers.)

Sister Mary Olivia: COME ON, NOW! You lions are awesome! What do you call a cat and a lye? Well, a ly-on! (Laughing) Get it, a ly-on?

(Laughter.)

Sister Mary Morgan: We now make a country great.

Sister Flamingo: They can't help it. At the very top of the Walter Pyramid, that's the very tip-top! Like Pharaohs reincarnate, stood Sister Mary Morgan and me! Sister Mary Flamingo! All nuns are equal but some man and beast are more equal than others, now the cream rises to the top.

Sister Mary Goldman: Let me at those sons of bitches! These hyenas are the demons who are sucking your very souls dry! I hate them!

Sister Flamingo: Someone should arrest that wild woman!

(Vultures circle around and hyenas laugh Sister Mary Goldman.)

Sister Mary Goldman: I, the radical anarchist fought against the ravages of American capitalism as I watched my hyenas and vultures' hopes turn to despair on the Lower East Side.

(Suddenly, Sister Mary Simba appears, dressed in her lion costume from The Lion King musical.)

Sister Mary Simba: La la la la La la la la la Whee!

Sister Mary Goldman: But our convent was watching another drama.

Sister Mary Simba: I am the most beautiful nun in Orlando. If I wore my hair in curls on the lion's mane, every woman wore your hair in curls.

Sister Mary White: I am the lover and the eminent architect, Sister Mary White, designer of the San Diego Zoo.

Sister Mary Paddington: I am your husband, the eccentric millionaire, I, Sister Mary Paddington, am a violent nun, polar bear, and HYENA! (Tranquilizes Sister Mary White with her tranquilizer gun)

Sister Mary Simba: After my husband tranquilized my lover, I became the biggest attraction in Vegasville since 1999!

Sister Mary Goldman: And although the newspapers called the shooting the Crime of the Century, I knew it was after 1998...

Nuns: (Shouting) AND THERE WERE SIX YEARS AGO!

Sister Mary Goldman: Yahooooooooo!

Nuns, Tevye, and Father Virgil: '''Now there was music playing, catching a nation in its prime beggar and millionaire everyone, everywhere! We're moving to the Sister Time! Now there was distant music skipping a beat, singing a dream a strange, insistent music putting out heat, picking up steam the sound of distant thunder suddenly starting to climb it was the music of something beginning an era exploding, a century spinning in riches and seals, and in rhythm and rhyme the sisters called it Sister, Sister, Sister Time!'''

Goodbye, My Love
(Applause from Neighborhood Animals. We hear the Stentorian blasts of an ocean-going steam vessel. Immediately we hear the confident sounds of a ship's Sousa-esque orchestra playing the "All ashore" music prior to its immediate departure. We are on the main deck of the ship that will be carrying Sister Mary Mufasa on an expedition to the North Pole with Sister Mary Brendan! Sister Mary Mufasa is bidding goodbye to her gang. They have all gathered to see her off. Various ship personnel, their friends and a wildlife society mill about the pier below.)

Sister Mary Mufasa: Everything will be fine, Nala. You'd think the world was coming to an end every time a nun sailed off to the North Pole with Sister Mary Brendan.

Sister Mary Nala: I shall miss you.

Sister Mary Mufasa: Of course, you will. But it's only a year. Nothing much happens in a year. The world will not spin off its axis. Nothing will change, Nala. We will miss each other, but the world will stay the same.

Sister Mary Rafiki: I hope not. What this world needs is a good swift kick in the sangoma.

(Sister Mary Ono heard a roar of a lion.)

Sister Mary Ono: Look! Down there! On the pier! It's her! Sister Mary Simba! She's even more beautiful in real life than she is in the magazines. I'm going to try to speak to her.

Sister Mary George; Me too!

Sister Mary Clarence: Me three!

The Little Sisters of Hoboken: ME US! (Laughter)!

Sister Mary Mufasa: GUYS! You'll see Sister Mary Simba!

Sister Mary Paul: I want to see her, too.

Sister Mary Mufasa: You're the nun of the convent now. You have to keep an eye on Nala for both of us. Will you do that?

Sister Mary George and her friends: (to Mufasa) Yes, ma'am!

Sister Mary Mufasa: Good!

Sister Mary Rafiki: I want to go home. It's so great. Everyone, say goodbye!

Sister Mary Mufasa: I will miss you, Rafiki!

Sister Mary Rafiki: Then stay home.

(Sister Mary George's friends including Sister Mary Rafiki, Sister Mary Ono, Sister Mary Clarence and The Little Sisters of Hoboken walk offstage right.)