Supremely Irresponsible/The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly is the first issue of Supremely Irresponsible.

Transcript
A small group of bank robbers bursts down a door and begin running off, only to see a large web wall stopping them. They turn and see Spider-Man standing behind them. Peter webs the criminals before walking off. As he leaves, the Supreme Spider comes in. She begins following Peter, who sits down on a bench and begins eating donuts. She then webs him to the bench and jumps down. Peter rips the webs and begins eating his donuts again. She slaps the donut out of his hand. Peter reaches for another donut but MJ slaps his hand before he can. MJ slams Peter's head against the bench. Peter pauses for a few seconds before standing up and rubbing the back of his head. Peter unmasks himself. MJ unmasks herself.
 * Robber #1: They're here!
 * ???: You're damn right I am!
 * Robber #2: ...Who the hell're you?
 * Spider-Man: Spider-Man. I'm... I'm literally the only guy that shoots webs.
 * Robber #3: ...Well, that's just factually incorrect.
 * Spider-Man: What're you... what the hell is going on? I've never been more confused in my life! is this an inside joke or something?
 * Robber #1: The spider is a girl.
 * Spider-Man: ...Yeah, okay...
 * Spider-Man: Wait, what the hell? Who are you?
 * MJ: I'm the girl you're trying to impersonate.
 * Spider-Man: Wait, your voice sounds familiar... eh, I'll worry about that later.
 * Spider-Man: You know, I thought a girl version of me would be hot, not a crazy chick that judges people before they get to know them.
 * Spider-Man: ...My lunch... you monster...
 * MJ: Why are you trying to convince people I've suddenly gotten a sex change!? I am the one and only Supreme Spider.
 * Spider-Man: And I'm the one and only Spider-Man. What's your point? also, what's your problem with sex changes?
 * MJ: Everything.
 * Spider-Man: Little close-minded of you, but okay.
 * MJ: Stop trying to eat donuts!
 * Spider-Man: Fine. Listen, considering I'm a lot taller than you, you seem really undeveloped, and your voice is pretty high, I'm guessing you're still a kid. So can you try to stop talking to me like I'm the less experienced one? Half the thinking you're doing is through your genitals.
 * Spider-Man: You know what, you're a kid, I'm gonna let that one go.
 * MJ: No, I am superior. I will let that insult go.
 * Spider-Man: Uhuh...
 * MJ: What?
 * Spider-Man: I didn't say anything. You know what, reveal yourself.
 * MJ: Uh...
 * Spider-Man: That voice is driving me nuts, I swear I've heard it somewhere before!
 * MJ: Oh, you meant reveal my face! thank god...
 * Spider-Man: What did you think I was asking?
 * MJ: ...Can we please change the subject?
 * Spider-Man: More proof you're a kid, you get easily embarrassed at even the slightest implication of something not safe for work. Even though you probably think stuff like that all the time. Being a teenager is a weird and confusing time for everybody, isn't it?
 * MJ: Quiet!
 * Spider-Man: Look, if it makes you feel better, here.
 * Spider-Man: My name is Peter Parker and I go to Midtown High. I gamble with weirdos on the street when I'm bored and my lucky number is seven. Now, what's your name?
 * Spider-Man: Oh hey, ginger girl! that's... wait, how did you... what...?
 * MJ: Petey?
 * Spider-Man: Did you, like... de-age...? Wait a second...