A Boy with 2 Brains/Transcript

(NETFLIX 2019-present logo)

(Intro plays)

Sagu: (eats bird) (burps)

A NETFLIX SERIES

Sagu: (sniffs)

Gracee: (shrieks)

Conner: Go, go, go, go, go!

Gracee: Ah!

RV: (Explodes)

The Conner Show!

Conner: See, everything worked out. (head becomes the title’s second O) (Laughs)

Gracee: Aw, I wanna be a letter!

Created by Conner Hawkins

Sagu: (burps)

A Boy with Two Brains

Written by Alexis Hamm

Directed by Isiah Hamm

Conner: (panting) Ok, perfect, now that I reached my locker. I can unload these books for my other class periods. Huh? What? Huh!?!

Gracee: Oh, they’re tiny!

Conner: Why, Gracee? Why are the lockers so small?

Gracee: Well, actually, they had to expand the trophy case to make room for all of the participation trophies.

(trophies shine)

Conner: Participation trophies? Those things have clearly ruined society! Trophies used to mean something, Gracee! They were a way to signify the best! First place in the spelling bee! Most three-pointers in a game!

Gracee: Uh, well, I got a trophy once for shoving the most marbles up my nose.

Conner: A true talent.

Gracee: (gasps) That’s what the emergency surgeon said!

Conner: Well, now your trophy’s worthless.

Gracee: Why?!

Conner: Why? It’s because today, everyone gets a trophy which means everyone’s the best! Which isn’t possible that means we live in a world where trophies are completely without value! If I ever find the guy who…

Isiah: A D?! Oh, you gave me a D, Mr. Koopa! Trying to ruin my rep?! I’ll let you get back to teaching when you give me an F!

Mr. Koopa: (grunting)

Gracee: Oh, poor Mr. Koopa.

Conner: What?

Gracee: Didn’t you see?! Isiah’s bullying him!

Conner: Well, I hope Isiah’s not expecting an award for being the best bully! (grunts)

(dramatic music plays)

Isiah: (punching) Huh?

Mr. Koopa: Ouch!

Isiah: Huh? We’re walking up to him right now?! He’s fine, he’s fine, back off!

Mr. Koopa: (groans)

Gracee: Move!

(students scream)

Conner: (gasps)

Mr. Koopa: (exclaims) Oh, you saved me! You saved me! That is the nicest thing a student has ever done! You will get an award for this!

(dramatic music plays)

Mr. Koopa: (clears throat) For bravery in a hallway or other school path of travel, I award Conner with the Nicest Person trophy!

(students gasp, cheer)

Students: Nicest person! Nicest person!

Isiah: What?!

Conner: Um, thanks? This, uh, this means so much to me!

Gracee: But I thought you said trophies were really bad…

Conner: Forget everything I said, Gracee! Trophies are great.

Gracee: Huh? I never thought about it that way. (blows airhorn) Aw, heck yeah!

Students: (cheer) (chanting Conner)

Isiah: Woah! (groans)

(rock music plays)

Isiah: 😳😠😡

Meanwhile at Dazed and One-Fused ice cream shop…