To Love and Die in Dixie

To Love and Die in Dixie is the 12th episode of the third season of the animated comedy series Family Dad. Country music singer Waylon Jennings, who died three months after the episode aired on television in the United States, guest-stars in his last ever appearance on the show. Dakota Fanning also guest starred on the episode. The title is a reference to a line in the traditional Southern song "Dixie".

The episode was written by Steve Callaghan, and was directed by Dan Povenmire. It features the first appearance of the recurring character Mr. Herbert.

Plot
Needing extra money, Steve Griffin decides to get a newspaper route, to help pay for a birthday gift for a girl he likes. Among those on his paper route is an old man named John Herbert who is sexually attracted to Steve, something he doesn't realize. He gives his crush a present, but his clumsiness and over-eagerness scares her off. Nevertheless, he decides to stay with the paper route. Shortly thereafter, however, Steve witnesses a robbery at Carl's convenience store, and his bike ends up being stolen by the burglar as a getaway vehicle (even though he takes the bike but runs on foot). Later, at the police station, Steve identifies the thief from a police lineup. However, Peter shows up and tells the thief (not knowing he is the thief) that he is here to pick up Steve who was going to "finger the guy who held up the convenience store" and then proceeds to give the thief a picture of Steve, along with a list of his school schedule, and his greatest fears. When the thief escapes and swears revenge on Steve, the family is placed in the Witness Protection Program. The Griffins are then relocated to Bumblescum, a tiny town in the deep South. Hayley blames this on Steve despite the fact it was really Peter's fault. When they get there and see their house, Hayley complains about it, and Francine says that "If we fix it up a bit it could be a piece of crap." While there, Peter becomes sheriff with Brian as his deputy. Stewie joins a hillbilly jug band, Hayley fakes being conservative to not be lynched, and Steve meets a new friend named Sam.

Later, when Peter interferes with a Civil War reenactment, claiming the North won the war, despite how they were being portrayed in the play, Sam's dad says Steve and Sam can no longer be friends and Peter and Brian have to answer to the civil war survivors. Not knowing of this, Sam unexpectedly kisses Steve, and Steve assumes Sam is gay. As Steve writes in a journal about what happened with Sam, Brian hears the story (as Steve was speaking out what he wrote), and he explains that kissing Sam seemingly felt right.

When the two meet again, Steve explains to Sam that even though he is flattered that Sam likes him, he is not interested in a romantic relationship and feels that they are probably better off as just friends. Just before the two go swimming, Chris realizes that Sam is a girl. Due to his bad experiences around girls, Steve now feels awkward around Sam. At a party that is held that night, Sam explains to Steve that he had no problem talking to her, when he thought she was a guy, so she tells Steve to think of her as a boy who he can make out with.

After the FBI agents who were hired to look over the Griffins home in Quahog accidentally reveal the location of the family (telling the criminal where Hayley was, but not Steve), the criminal tracks the family down in Bumblescum, and attempts to kill Steve. During the confrontation, however, the criminal is shot and killed by Sam's father.

With the criminal gone, the Griffins return to Quahog with Steve having to leave Sam behind. Once they are home, they realize that someone had left 113 messages on their answering machine, all of which turn out to be from Herbert, who is looking for Steve.

Cast

 * Seth MacFarlane as Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin
 * Wendy Schaal as Francine Griffin
 * Scott Grimes as Steve Griffin
 * Rachel MacFarlane as Hayley Griffin
 * Mike Henry as John Herbert, Robber
 * H. Jon Benjamin as Carl

Guest Stars

 * Kathleen Wilhoite as Sam
 * Dakota Fanning as Little Girl
 * Ralph Garman as Sam's Father
 * Waylon Jennings as Himself