The Super Mario Bros. Movie/Trailer transcripts

These are the transcripts for The Super Mario Bros. Movie trailers.

Teaser Trailer
''Bowser's airship flies towards an ice palace, crushing a tower. It drops spiked anchors and lowers itself to the ground. Magikoopa uses his magic to appear.''

[Magikoopa] Behold, the King of the Koopas!

''Magikoopa and the Koopa soldiers all stand at attention. A door opens and Bowser walks out.''

[Bowser] Open the gates!

The castle gates open to reveal an army of penguins and the Penguin King.

[Penguin King] Attack!

''The penguins yell and throw snowballs at Bowser, who simply stands with a look of disapproval. The Penguin King raises his fist and the penguin army stops.''

[Penguin King] That is but a taste of our fury. Do you yield?

The penguin soldiers pose, ready to bombard Bowser with more snowballs.

[Bowser] (laughs) I do not.

''Magikoopa uses his magic to send the penguins flying in all directions. Koopa soldiers prepare to attack the penguin soldiers with spears. Bowser breathes fire at the castle, destroying it completely. Cut to Bowser against a dark background, with a Super Star in front of him.''

[Bowser] I finally found it. Now who's gonna stop me?!

''Cut to black. The iconic first six notes of the World 1-1 theme plays. Mario screams as he is shot out of a Warp Pipe into a mushroom forest. He bounces off a few mushrooms before falling onto the ground. Mario gets up and looks around at the mushroom forest.''

[Mario] What is this place?

''He reaches for a blue mushroom before Toad jumps out from behind the mushroom and scares him. Mario stumbles backwards.''

[Toad] Do not touch that mushroom! You'll die! Oh, I'm sorry. That one's perfectly fine.

Cut to Toad standing in front of Mario and running ahead.

[Toad] Come on, Mario!

''Mario stands with a puzzled look before walking towards Toad. Cut to the two of them bouncing towards the Mushroom Kingdom on tall, flat mushrooms.''

[Mario] Mushroom Kingdom, here we come!

''Cut to the title. A list of cast members appears on screen. Cut to Luigi, who is screaming and running from a group of Dry Bones. He runs behind a door and attempts to keep them out. Cut to a screen that shows the release date. The trailer ends.''

Official Trailer
cinematic rendition of the theme plays]*[Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Sebastian Maniscalco, Charles Martinet, and Kevin Michael Richardson's names all appear]
 * [Luigi appears in a spooky setting, yelps while being chased by many Dry Bones. He reaches a house and barricades the door while the Dry Bones try to get in]
 * [Coming soon: The words "ONLY IN THEATERS, APRIL 7TH" (April 5th as of writing) appear onscreen. Premium offerings (Dolby Cinema, RealD 3D, and IMAX) are shown below.]

Official Trailer
*[Mario approaches from the darkness before being blinded by the sunlight. He is in an arena filled with cheering crowds of Kongs while the same epic theme plays.]''
 * Crowd: [chanting] Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario!
 * [We get a shot of Donkey Kong about to enter the arena]
 * Mario: All right. Let's-a go. [he and Donkey Kong charge at each other]
 * Toad: [throwing his fists around as he and Peach watch in delight] Woo-hoo!
 * [Mario jumps and tries to punch Donkey Kong, but his attack is blocked by him. Mario is set down and gets beat the snot out by DK. Peach and Toad visibly cringe at this. Cranky Kong just grabs a banana, smiling.]
 * Toad: Oh my- I- Okay.
 * [The Nintendo and Illumination logos appear. Luigi appears, captured by Bowser as he is brought to him]
 * Bowser: Not sure if you know who I am, [arial shot of Bowser's minions] but I'm about to rule the world.
 * Luigi: Wow, uh... [chuckles nervously] yay.
 * Bowser: But there's one problem. There's a human. Has a mustache, [stretches Luigi's mustache] just like you.
 * Luigi: Ah! [shot of Mario in the real world inspecting a sink. Back to Bowser, who is stretching his mustache farther and farther] Do you think I know a guy who has a mustache wearing an identical outfit with a hat and a letter with his first name on it? [shot of Mario and Luigi fist-bumping] Because I don't. [A very frustrated Bowser rips some of Luigi's mustache clean off, who screams in pain]
 * [Shot of Bowser's moving castle approaching Peach's castle]
 * Peach: [in front of many Toads] Bowser is coming. [in a different shot, she and the Toad voiced by Key whip out weapons and unflinchingly walk towards Bowser's castle] Together... we are going to stop that monster.
 * Adorable Toad: How? Look at us. We're adorable! [he and other Toads make cute faces]
 * [Shot of a makeshift course, like in the games.]
 * Mario: Oh, I got this. No problem. [the course immediately proves to be a problem. Mario gets swatted away