Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows (Family Dad)

Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows is the seventeenth episode of Family Dad's third season. In the episode, Brian is sentenced to community service and must look after a cranky, elderly woman named Pearl. He at first dislikes her, but then sees a documentary revealing her remarkable singing ability. Meanwhile, Peter decides to grow a beard, which soon becomes the home for a family of endangered birds.

Plot
Deciding to go on a date with a hot but dumb blonde named Tina, Brian soon discovers he is dating "an idiot." Brian returns home depressed, and Francine, while giving piano lessons to Jonas, one of her students, tells him that he's too picky when it comes to the women he dates. Francine suggests that Brian go with Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland to a laser rock concert, but while there, Brian begins looking around the theater at all of the loving couples and becomes even more depressed, eventually deciding to begin drinking. On the drive home with the guys, he is soon pulled over by Joe and arrested for driving under the influence.

One month later, Brian is sentenced to 100 hours of community service in the "Outreach to the Elderly" program, and assigned to an elderly woman named Pearl Burton, who has not left her house for 30 years. Appearing at her home the next day, he quickly becomes angered by her constant nagging, eventually losing his temper and telling her to "drop dead." Later that day, Brian is watching television, and sees a Mysteries and Scandals show on E! about Pearl. In the 1940s and 1950s, she was a very successful “jingle singer,” attractive and possessing a beautiful voice. Her attempt to become a normal, “serious” singer was a failure; in her 1961 debut at Carnegie Hall, the audience simply kept demanding that she perform their favorite jingles. After this disgrace, she disappeared from the public eye and has been presumed dead.

Brian is amazed to discover that there is much more to Pearl than the cranky old woman he has seen. He returns to Pearl’s house just as she is preparing to hang herself. He apologizes to her and tells her that he had never heard a more beautiful version of “Habanera” from Bizet’s opera Carmen before. Brian spends much more time with Pearl on a voluntary basis, and they grow very close and affectionate. Through an extravagant musical number, Brian encourages Pearl to overcome her agoraphobia. Heartened by Brian’s belief in her, Pearl strides proudly into the street, where she is immediately struck by a truck. Brian accompanies Pearl to the hospital, where she tells him not to blame himself; it had been the best day of her life. Brian shares a virtual reality experience with her in which they marry, have children, and grow old together; Pearl quietly passes away as the vision ends.

Meanwhile, after watching an episode of Grizzly Adams on television, Peter decides to grow a beard, despite Lois' disapproval. After his beard is fully grown, the Smith family decide to go out for dinner, but are soon pestered by a white-rumped swallow, who eventually settles in Peter's facial hair. Unaware that the bird is actually an endangered species, Peter attempts to remove the bird, but is soon threatened with jailtime if he does so. Left with no other choice but to let the bird live within his hair, Peter attempts to continue life as normally as possible, until he can no longer take the bird's constant squawking, and decides to shoot the bird.

Stopped at the last second by Francine, Peter accidentally shoots a nearby window, causing the bird to fly out. Thankful that the bird is finally gone, the two soon hear peeping coming from inside his facial hair, and discover three small baby birds. Won over by their resemblance to his own children, he decides to keep the baby birds, and take the place of its mother. As time goes on, he becomes reluctant to release the birds once they have become fully grown, but is ultimately convinced by Francine to release them back into the wilderness once they attempt to fly out of their bedroom window. He does release them, and then he shaves the beard.

Cast

 * Seth MacFarlane as Peter Smith, Brian Smith, Stewie Smith, Glenn Quagmire
 * Wendy Schaal as Francine Smith
 * Rachel MacFarlane as Hayley Smith, Tina
 * Scott Grimes as Steve Smith, Neil Goldman
 * Mike Henry as Cleveland Brown, Dr. Goodman
 * Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson
 * Adam West as Mayor Adam West
 * Mike Barker as Tom Tucker
 * Lori Alan as Diane Simmons
 * Alex Borstein as Pearl Burton
 * Jonathan Osser as Jonas

Source

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