The Sonic the Hedgehog Movie/Transcript

Full transcript of the 2008 film, Sonic the Hedgehog the Movie.

Opening
The film opens up with an introduction to the Pacific Ocean. Sonic then narrates.

Sonic: Long ago, there was an island we lived in. Peaceful and playful. No harm, no hurt. It was West Side Island. An island no one ever knew existed.

It shows West Side Island in its early days, as an peaceful island. It then involves into a barren dump island.

Sonic: And then, our world turned into a barren wasteland. No longer habitable, smoke, radiation, and terrible smells. REALLY terrible smells. Me and my friends had to evacuate this island to go to another land. The human land. But then, we found a boy that helped us, and we owed our life to.  SONIC THE HEDGEHOG   THE MOVIE 

Part 1: Meet Jeff
An alarm clock goes off. An boy punches it, and quickly gets up.

Mom: Jeff! Hurry up, you're gonna be late for school!

Jeff: Mom, I'm hurrying up, alright.

Jeff's Dad: Doesn't seem to me that you are hurrying up. It's 7:33 for crying out loud.

Jeff comes downstairs almost fully dressed.

Jeff: Also, Mom, Dad! Grandpa told me to come to his hou-

Jeff's Dad: GRANDPA?! Are you serious now, Jeff?

Jeff: What? What's wrong?

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, your grandpa is a bad influence on you.

Jeff's Dad: Last time we talked to him was at your fifth grade graduation.

Jeff: He's not a bad influence, he just likes science-y stuff.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, just..please. Don't talk to him. He smokes a lot, plus, doesn't care about anybody's safety.

Jeff: Yeah, Mom, whatever. See ya guys later

Jeff's Dad: Bye Jeff.

Jeff walks to school, while listening to music. At school, he bumps into his bully, Devin.

Devin: Yo! What's your problem, Jeff?

Jeff: Oh uh, sorry Devin.

Devin: "Sowwy Devin, Sowwy!" That's all you ever say. Sorry, sorry sorry. You're such a wimp, you know that Balkiry.

Devin sees Jeff looking at his girlfriend, Stacy, talking to her friends.

Devin: You looking at Stacy?

Jeff: Uh, no. I was looking at, the wall, over there.

Devin: Listen Balkiry. You ever make eye contact with my girl, your dead.

Stacy walks up to Devin.

Stacy: Babe, let's go! Class is starting soon! Who you talking to?

Devin: No one. Just some wimp.

The school bell rings and Devin pushes Jeff. Jeff has had enough, so he slaps Devin.

Devin: What the hell?

Mr Richards: Balkiry! My office. NOW.

Stacy: Damn.

Devin: That's what you get, loser.

Area 51 Badnik Raid
In the Nevada desert, the camera zooms into Area 51, an US government secret facility. Chloe Sanchez: Mr. Mackerel.

Thomas Mackerel: What is it Chloe?

Chloe Sanchez: Our communication units have received an ship flying over the Nevada desert.

Thomas Mackerel: What flying ship?

Chloe Sanchez: A UFO type flying ship. You need to see it.

Sanchez brings Mackerel to the communications room, where they find very strong readings.

Soldier: Sir, now its flying over our facility.

The ship is shown crashing outside of the facility, nearly crushing some people.

The soldiers investigate the crashed ship and they open the door, holding their guns at it. An unknown mechanical robot attacks one of the soldiers and more come out of the ship, getting bigger and bigger. Thomas and Sanchez run.

Thomas Mackerel: This is Sargeant Thomas Mackerel! Get me military jet bombs! ' NOW! ' Svenson, what are you waiting for?

Chloe Sanchez: Aah! Thomas!

Soldier #1: Someone get me a reading on jet bombs!

The military jets are shown flying over Area 51, and drops bombs.

Soldier #2: Everybody GET OUT!

The soldiers evacute before the bombs drop on the badniks, destroying them. Everyone is relived.

Soldier #3: What the fuck happened?

Thomas Mackerel: I have no idea.

Chloe investigates the ship and finds something cold.

Soldier #3: Sanchez! Stay back!

Chloe Sanchez: I found something cold in here!

Five soldiers investigate the ship and pull out the cold thing. It is revealed to be Metal Sonic.

Soldier #2: What is this thing?

Soldier #4: I do not know.

Thomas Mackerel: Soldiers! Take the robot and put in a chamber, just in case if it is alive.

Chloe Sanchez: Sir! I found something else.

Thomas Mackerel: What is it?

Chloe Sanchez: This thing says, "Property of Dr. Robotnik"

Thomas Mackerel: Robotnik, huh?

Inside a meeting room, Mackerel makes a statement.

Mackerel: Everyone!

Mackerel: These robots were made by someone named "Dr. Robotnik." I don't care who this Robotnik guy is, but I want a full search party out for him. Two people killed, five badly injured. Wherever you are Robotnik, we are coming for you. So watch out.

Through a static camera, Dr. Robotnik is shown sitting on a chair.

Robotnik: Damn it! My robots got destroyed in three minutes! And god knows where Metal Sonic is.

He looks at the static again.

Robotnik: Heh. It doesn't matter, soon I will be ruling the world and nobody, I mean NOBODY will stop me. Not even Sonic the Hedgehog. Never in a million years.

Robotnik: I just need to send more badniks, and I'll be good.

Robotnik starts laughing as the screen zooms out from him. It cuts to a doorbell ringing.

Grandpa's Lab
Edward Balkiry: Coming!

The doorbell keeps ringing.

Edward: I SAID, I'M COMING! Damn.

Edward opens the door to find Jeff standing outside.

Jeff: Hi grandpa.

Edward: Jeff! Long time no see! Hey, come into my lab, I need to show you something!

Edward walks Jeff down into his basement, latering revealing his lab.

Jeff: Your lab has improved a lot.

Edward: Yep! Imagine the electricity bills! It's torture…

Jeff: So what do you wanna show me?

Edward: Okay, so. I was using a metal detector while walking through the beach. And I found not one, not two. But THREE gem rocks!

Jeff: You mean emeralds?

Edward: Yes, emeralds, exactly what I said! They come in different colors. Pink, red, and green.

Jeff: What's so important about them?

Edward: Do you not get what I'm saying?!

Jeff: No, really, no.

Edward: If I sell these emeralds for a million dollars, I'll be rich. Wait, no. Sell all three of them for three million dollars, I'll be a millionaire, I can buy my own lamborghini, pay the rent, and even buy you a car, just like you always wanted!

Jeff: Grandpa, this is a bad idea.

Edward: What, why?!

Jeff: BECAUSE, you don't know where the gems, emeralds, rocks, whatever they are came from.

Edward: They came from the beach.

Jeff: Grandpa, grandpa. You may have found them on the beach, but you don't were they came from. They could be poisonous, they could be radioactive or something. they can be dangerous!

Edward: Jeff, I've examined these for the past five hours, I can 100% guarantee you they are NOT poisonous.

Jeff: I can 98% guarantee you. I'm leaving, see you in a like a million years.

Edward: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Wait. One last thing.

Jeff: (sighs) What is it grandpa?

Edward: I may have found aliens.

Jeff: Oh no.

Jeff storms off.

Edward: Jeff, wait, wait!

Jeff: I am not putting up with your crazy nonsense, grandpa. Dad was right. You do smoke a whole lot.

Edward: Your dad? Fuck that bastard. I don't even smoke that much anymore.

Jeff: But you still smoke.

Edward: Okay, yeah but still come come!

Edward shows Jeff some readings on his computer screen.

Edward: Also, recently, I was searching the Pacific Ocean and may or may not found a kraken. But that's not important.

Jeff: Continue.

Edward: And, I found aliens.

Jeff: Show me.

Edward shows Jeff an reading from the Pacific Ocean.

Edward: Okay, so you see this alien guys' feet? This is not an normal human nor animal feet.

Jeff: Neanderthals. maybe?

Edward: Not Neanderthals! Those things are long gone. This is a new species. I've decided to name them Mobians.

Jeff: Mobians?

Edward: Yes, Mobians!

Jeff: Cya never Grandpa.

Edward: Jeff, wait!

Jeff walks out of Edward's basement and leaves his house, not believing anything he says anymore.

Ship Attack
The scene cuts to a ship in the middle of the ocean, sailing along the waves. Tails: Sonic, I’ve received readings of robots made by Robotnik. Knuckles: He'll never stop will he.

Shadow: If I ever see Robotnik again, he'd gonna become a large bloody stain on the ground.

Camera zooms into Sonic.

Sonic: Guys, guys. Calm down. We'll get to land down in maybe about five minutes.

Knuckles: You've said that the previous two times, I'm starting to doubt you Sonic.

Tails: Amy, how long do you think we'll get there?

Amy: I don’t think we’re getting there.

Sonic: Guys! Remember what we came for. We came here for the Chaos Emeralds. We couldn't live on West Side Island anymore. It's a wasteland.

Knuckles: Which is WHY we need to use them to restore peace to the island!

Shadow: Yep.

Sonic: That is what I am talking about, right now.

Amy looks up into the sky and hears a wooshing sound.

Amy: We may have a tiny problem.

Several drones swarm down into the ship, trying to attack it.

Tails: AMY! GET US OUT OF HERE!

Amy steers the ship away while the drones continue to chase it.

Amy: What are those things?!

Sonic: Amy, keep driving. Knuckles, Shadow, help me destroy these drones! Tails, I don't know, but try to help us!

Tails and Amy: Got it!

Knuckles and Shadow: Got it!

Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow jump out of the ship, and land on the drones, destroying them in a 40 second montage. Suddenly, more drones appear, and they are blasted back onto the ship, weakened by the power and strength of the drones.

Shadow: These drones are too strong!

Amy: Gaaaahh!

The gang become cornered by all of the drones. One of the drones comes up to them and opens up an red screen. Robotnik appears on it.

Robotnik: Hohoho! If it isn't Sonic and his wittle friends!

Knuckles: Robotnik…

Robotnik: As you all know, I am also looking for the six Chaos Emeralds. Instead, I am using them to dominate the world.

Tails: You monster!

Robotnik: Say hello to my badnik's little friends called missles. Hahahahahaha!

Amy: Let's get out of here!

Amy drives the gang out of there, managing to get them far enough.

Robotnik: Get them my badniks!

Shadow: Amy, go faster!

Amy: I'm trying!

Knuckles: GUYS! I see land!

The camera cuts to a little far land, but the drones come in front of them once again.

Robotnik: Goodbye, Sonic.

The screen closes and all of the missles come out of the drones.

Sonic: Well, fu-

The ship blows up, sending, all the characters, except Sonic into the water. Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow manage to get back up and hold onto large pieces of wood from their ship.

Amy: Is everyone okay?!

Knuckles: Yeah, I'm good.

Shadow: Same here.

Tails: Where's Sonic? SONNNNIICCCC!

Amy: SONIC, WHERE ARE YOU?!

Shadow: SONIC!

Knuckles: SONIIIIICCCC!!

The characters continue calling Sonic's name until the screen fades to black.

Getting Ready for a Date
Jeff is shown in a one minute twenty second montage, getting ready to ask Stacy out, spraying perfume on himself, everywhere, even that place.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, honey. Why are you spraying my perfume on your weenie.

Jeff: Mom, it's not what it looks like.

Jeff's Dad: Jeff, didn't we already have a talk about puberty?

Jeff: Dad, not that.

Jeff's Dad: Then what is it? Why are you going with your backpack?

Jeff: I'M GONNA GO OUT WITH A GIRL I LIKE, OKAY?!

Jeff's Dad: This is up to you two, I'm gonna go, read my magazine. On the toilet…

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, lemme talk to you.

Jeff: I know Mom, I know. I have to have a big-

Jeff's Mom: No, Jeff, no. Not that, you talked with your father about that. Sit down, let me have a talk with you.

Jeff and his mom sit down on the couch.

Jeff's Mom: You know Jeff, when I was in high school, there was this really handsome buff ass dude, who was like, "Hey baby, wanna go out to the prom with me?" and I said no, you know why?

Jeff: Why?

Jeff's Mom: Because, he wasn't my type. I preferred people who were more themselves, who acted like themselves, who had their own personality. Who weren't afraid to express their feelings.

Jeff: And?

Jeff's Mom: And, what I'm saying is that, you dont have to look, sound, or be fancy just to impress someone you like. Just be yourself, Jeff. No matter how much people tease you for it, be yourself.

Jeff: Thanks, Mom.

Jeff's Mom: Anytime, Jeff.

Jeff and his mom hug each other. Jeff's dad comes downstairs.

Jeff's Dad: Hey Jeff, I just received a email from your teacher, saying that you got in trouble for-

Jeff: Welp, gotta go dad.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, wait!

Before she could finish the sentence, Jeff leaves and closes the door.

Jeff's Dad: What are we going to DO with that boy?

Outside, Jeff is greeted by his neighbor, Timothy.

Timothy: Hi, Jeff!

Jeff: Timothy! What's up? You back from Florida already?

Timothy: Yeah, it was gonna be three weeks, but my baby brother got a fever, so it was shortened down to two.

Jeff: Oh, sorry to hear about that.

Timothy: It's okay. He's at a doctor appointment with my dad, and I'm staying here with my mom.

Timothy's Mom: Timothy! Time to come inside!

Timothy: Coming, mom!

Timothy comes inside of the house.

Timothy's Mom: Also, hi Jeff!

Jeff: Hi, Timothy's mom!

Timothy's mom goes inside of the house.

Timothy's Mom: Such a nice boy.

Jeff: About the girl.

Robotnik Hacks Area 51
Chloe Sanchez: Mr. Mackerel, we got news on the metal thing.

Thomas Mackerel: Do you have a name for it?

Sanchez: No, the facility has now called it SCD1993.

Thomas Mackerel: Odd name. Is there any other information?

Sanchez: No, we have been holding it in captivity for the last six hours now. We still do not know any information, besides it is a property of Dr. Robotnik.

Mackerel: Speaking of robots and niks, Svenson! do we still have contact on Dr. Robotnik?

Sanchez: Where is Svenson?

Mackerel: SVENSON!

Svenson: Wait, wait! I'm coming, hold the door, hold the door!

Mackerel: What took you so long, Svenson?

Svenson: Sorry, I accidentally dropped my coffee on my shirt, spent six minutes cleaning it up in the bathroom.

Sanchez: Hi honey.

Svenson: Hey Chloe.

Mackerel: You two are dating?

Sanchez: Since like, seven months.

Svenson: And you never saw?

Mackerel: Well, no, but Svenson. Tell me information on Dr. Robotnik.

Mackerel: Who is he?

Svenson: Searching from files online, his real name is Ivo Robotnik born April 22, 1959, went to Harvard University and got a scholarship for science, became a scientist for over 15 years, and won a Noble Prize Award in 1999 for making seemingly impossible technological advances, and received a pardon from George W. Bush in 2002 and after that was never heard from again, until now of course.

Mackerel: Seems like a respected member of sociey, wonder why he'd do this.

Svenson: Oh I dunno. Maybe greed. Wealth. Domination. The usual stuff.

Svenson sips his coffee

Svenson: Damn, that's good.

All of the computer screens in the room turn static, with no one knowing what is going on.

Sanchez: What's happening?

Svenson: Someone's hacked into the computer!

Sanchez: Who?

Svenson: How the hell do you expect me to know?

The computer static turns off and Robotnik is shown on all the screens in the room.

Svenson: Oh shit.

Mackerel: Robotnik.

Robotnik: Well, well, well, well. If it isn't General Thomas Mackerel.

Mackerel: What do you want from us, Robotnik? Sending more robots to kill us.

Robotnik: No, no, no. I'm over that already. I'd like to tell you a little deal.

Svenson: Don't listen to what he says, general. It may be a scheme.

Robotnik: That robot you have in your facility is my robot. Property of Robotnik, me.

Mackerel: We're not giving it back to you.

Robotnik: If you don't give it back, I will attack Las Vegas, located a couple miles from your facility. I turned an island into a deserted wasteland, I can turn a city into the next Chernobyl.

Sanchez: He's a terrorist.

Mackerel: Listen, Mr. Robotnik. You can do whatever you want to ME. You can nuke my house, kidnap me, put me in the middle of an ocean, have me get eaten by a pool of sharks, I do not care. You can do all those to me. But, one thing I will not have you do is threaten the lives of innocent civilians.

Robotnik: Is that so.

Mackerel: Yes. Robotnik, we are coming for YOU. You are not safe. We will find you and lock you up into a maxium-sercurity prison, where you will spend the last of your years at.

Robotnik: Let's see, General Mackerel. See you later, alligator.

Robotnik's face disappears from the computers and they turn back to normal.

Svenson: What're we going to do now, general.

Mackerel: Call in the president of Las Vegas. Now.

Asking Out Gone Wrong
At the beach, several kids, teens, and adults are seen playing, while Jeff is walking alongside the coast, looking for Stacy, also trying to see if Devin isn't there.

Stacy: So Devin, you going to prom with me next week?

Devin: Oh come on baby. You know the answer to that.

Mean Girl #1: Awh! The perfect love couple!

Mean Girl #2: I know, right?

Devin: You two, shut the hell up.

Stacy: No Devin, it's true. We are a love couple.

Devin: Oh hoh, you said that correctly.

Devin and Stacy make out until Jeff comes. Jeff tries to leave, but one of the girls see him.

Mean Girl #2: What is that dork doing here?

Devin and Stacy look up to see Jeff walking away.

Devin: Yo Balkiry! What are you doing here, wimp?

Jeff: Uhm, nothing. I was just, going. Home.

Devin: Oh, I see what you are trying to do!

Stacy: What?

Devin: You like Stacy!

Jeff: No, I don-

Devin: Listen, dirtbag. This is my girlfriend and nobody, I mean nobody, is going to steal my girl from me, you got that, wimp?!

Jeff: I know, but I was just going home, like I said before.

Mean Girl #1: (whisper) Yeah, right.

Jeff: Shut up female dog.

Mean Girl #1: What the hell did you just call me?!

Stacy: Savage.

Devin: Ay, ay! Let's all calm down here for a sec. So, Balkiry. In response to you slapping me…

Devin slaps Jeff onto the sand. Everybody there laughs, even the people in the background.

Stacy: Yikes.

Mean Girl #1: Wooh, he ain't gonna recover from that!

Mean Girl #2: Seriously though.

Jeff gets up, turns around, and walks away.

Devin: Yeah, walk away from our life. Fucking loser!

Jeff turns around, runs back to Devin and punches him in the face.

Stacy: Oh, shit!

Devin falls down and looks back up at Jeff in fear. Jeff walks away from them while insulting them all.

Jeff: Freaking douchebag. Freaking female dog. Freaking monkey. Freaking goat.

Jeff feels something drop on his head. It's a raindrop. It starts to rain and everybody in the beach gets out.

Boy: Oh come on!

Woman: How is it raining?

Man: Damn, you mother nature.

Little Girl: Five more minutes, daddy!

Dad: No sweetie, we have to go.

Devin looks back at Jeff while walking away.

Devin: You may be a dork, but you got some combat skills, Balkiry.

Devin walks away with Stacy and the other girls.

Stacy: Nice, Jeff.

Jeff saves Sonic
Jeff walks in the beach, going home while it rains.

Jeff: Man, I hate this world. Nobody ever likes me. All i want is an ordinary life, to have friends, and have a girl, ya know. Is that at least too damn hard?!

While on the beach, Jeff sees a white glove sticking out from the water.

Jeff: Is that a…person?

Jeff sees the white gloves about to sink under and goes into the water to help it.

Jeff: Oh shoot!

Before the white glove, fully goes under, Jeff pulls it out of the water and brings it back to land. But upon touching its hair, he sees that it is not a human, but Sonic.

Jeff: AAAGGH! What the heck is that?

Sonic lays there, unconscious.

Jeff: Oh yeah, Heimlich menouver, right? No, it was, the chest thing!

Jeff performs first aid to Sonic ten times until he finally wakes up. Sonic wakes up coughing and vomits out a lot of water.

Jeff: Ew.

Sonic: W-where am I? Where's Tails? Amy? Shadow? Knuckles?!

Jeff: Hey, hey! Calm down! You almost drowned. I saved you. You're alive.

Sonic: Who are you? Do you work for Robotnik?

Jeff: No, I don't work for this Robotnik guy. But I'm Jeff. Jeff Balkiry. What's your name?

Sonic: Well. I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Jeff: Nice to meet you Sonic.

Sonic: But still, where are-

Sonic looks over in the water and sees Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow on several pieces of their ship. In the meanwhile, Tails looks over and sees Sonic.

Tails: Guys, I found Sonic!

Amy: Sonic, we're here!

Shadow: We were worried sick!

Knuckles: Who's that guy next to him?

Once Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow come on land, Sonic embraces them tightly.

Sonic: I missed you guys so much!

Shadow: Great to see ya, Sonic!

Knuckles: Don't ever do that to us again!

Tails: Thank goodness, your okay!

Amy: You're alive!

Knuckles: But who's that guy?

Knuckles points at Jeff.

Sonic: Guys, he is not a harm. His name is Jeff. He saved me.

Jeff: Hello.

All: Hey Jeff!

Knuckles: Thanks for saving Sonic.

Sonic: I owe my life and debt to you, Jeff.

Tails: Just a side question, have you ever heard of the chaos emeralds?

Amy: Tails, not now.

Jeff: Chaos Emeralds?

Tails: Yes!

Jeff has a flashback to when his grandpa said he found pink, red, and green emeralds.

Jeff: Are three of those emeralds, pink, red and green?

Sonic: Yeah.

Jeff: I think I might have them.

Amy: You do?

Jeff: Cmon, get in my backpack.

Jeff gets all of the characters in his backpack and starts moving quickly

Tails: This is tight!

Shadow: Where is he taking us?

Knuckles: What is that thing? (sprays perfume) AH OH GOD ITS IN MY EYEEEESSS!

Amy: You Knucklehead.

Sonic: Amy, get off me!

Meeting with President Earle
Svenson: Mackerel.

Thomas Mackerel turns around as Svenson calls his name.

Svenson: The president wants to meet you.

At a conference room, Mackerel and Sanchez enter the room to be greeted by the president of Las Vegas, President Earle.

President Earle: Good afternoon Sanchez. Good afternoon, Mackerel.

Sanchez and Mackerel: Good afternoon, Mr. President.

President Earle: So sit down, we need to have a talk.

They all sit down around the table.

Mackerel: Sir, I need to tell you something clear and very clear. Robotnik is a threat to the world.

President Earle: How so?

Mackerel: He literally threatened the innocent lives of people and threaten to destroy Las Vegas. Don't you notice, if Robotnik actually does this, this will be worse then 9/11 or Chernobyl?

President Earle: Mackerel. Our military is super strong. We have 3,781 military personnel in this facility and that number is gonna expand bigger and bigger and bigger until we're stronger then America's military personnel.

Mackerel: But, sir. We HAVE to give Robotnik SCD1993 back. He says its his most important robot for world domination.

President Earle: Huh.

Mackerel: Mr. President, please. Give it back or go to war.

President Earle: This Robotnik guy is a nobody. Go to war with him, he wont do anything.

Mackerel: Are you kidding me?

Sanchez: Uhm.

President Earle: Yes.

Mackerel: MR PRESIDENT. Do you see how much of a threat Robotnik is? He is going to blow up Las Vegas! Please, listen to m-

President Earle: Talk back to me again, and you're fired.

Mackerel stays in silence.

President Earle: Yeah, that's what I thought.

Camera cuts to Svenson yelling.

Svenson: ' HE DID WHAT?! '

Sanchez: Yep.

Svenson: Oh come ON. This fucking dumbass thinks that this Robotnik guy ain't a threat. He literally just hacked our computers a few HOURS ago! Either this guy has the brain of chewing gum, or I'm a monkey's uncle. No offense, Mackerel, but still.

President Earle: You know I can still hear you guys right? I'm the president of this country. I can have you kicked out of this country and even get fired. So watch your mouth and your back. Hehe.

Earle walks away.

Svenson: Idiot. Probably thinks Kim-Jong Un is sexy.

President Earle: He kinda is.

Sanchez and Svenson look back at Earle confused.

Sanchez: Do you think we're gonna be okay, Grant?

Svenson: Yeah, of course sweetheart. We're gonna be okay.

Mackerel: Sanchez, come here please.

Sanchez: See you later.

The camera zooms into Svenson's pocket, where there is a wedding ring inside.

Back at Grandpa's
Edward: Now what will I do with these emeralds?

The doorbell rings and Edward comes upstairs.

Edward: Gaahh! Who's there?

Edward comes upstairs and opens the door. Jeff rushes through the door while Sonic and his friend's are in his bag, muffled.

Jeff: Sorry, Grandpa can't talk now!

Edward: Jeff, what the hell is going on?!

Jeff rushes into his lab, opens his backpack, and lays Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow on the table.

Sonic: Awh, fresh air again!

Knuckles: My legs are in agony!

Shadow: What was that for?

Tails: I think I cracked a bone..

Amy: Damn…

Jeff: Guys, this is grandpa. Grandpa, meet Sonic and…those guys.

Edward: What in the world?

Jeff: Grandpa, if you could give me one minute to explain-

Edward: Those are the aliens I was talking about!

Shadow: Who are you calling alien?

Sonic: A-are those three of the Chaos Emeralds?

Edward: That's what they're called?

Jeff: Yellow guy, what's your name?

Tails: Miles. But you can call me Tails?

Jeff: You were the one who bought up the emeralds. Do you guys know anything about them?

Sonic: Let me explain. Lights off please.

Edward goes and turns off the lights except one pointing exactly at Sonic.

Sonic: Before we met you guys, we lived in a place called West Side Island. A big, peaceful, and wonderful island, filled with tiny animals and safe habitatants. Including us. Then one day, Dr. Robotnik came. He came to our island after a six year search for the six Chaos Emeralds. He helped us, but soon turned into a psychopath. Soon, he started stuffing animals into his robots called badniks, we started freeing them. So he made badniks without animals, which became tougher and tougher to fight as time passed. He also started polluting the land a whole lot. Then, he created Metal Sonic. An robot copy of me that was made with one purpose: to help Robotnik and destroy me and my friends. After a battle with Robotnik, the six Chaos Emeralds were stattered across the world. We had no choice but to leave the island forever.

Edward: Damn.

Jeff: I-I'm so sorry about your island.

Shadow: It's all right.

Tails: But now that you guys have three of the six Chaos Emeralds, there's three more of them left!

Jeff: What are you guys planning to do with them?

Knuckles: We plan on using the six Chaos Emeralds to restore peace to our island, stopping the effects that Robotnik did to it.

Edward: I HAVE to tell people about this.

Everyone: No!

Jeff: You can't.

Sonic: If anybody found out about us, we'd be locked up by the government and experimented.

Edward: So what’s your plan?

Amy: To find the Chaos Emeralds, defeat Robotnik and Metal Sonic, and go back to our island once we restore peace to it.

Edward: So what species are you?

Sonic: Me, Amy, and Shadow are hedgehogs. Knuckles is an echidna and Tails is a fox with two tails.

Edward: Well that destroys my "Mobian" concept.

Knuckles: What?

Jeff: You wouldn't understand.

Sonic: But we need a place to stay, at least until we find all six of them.

Jeff: You guys can stay at my place. I have an attic and a basement. But the attic would be a more good idea since my parents go down in the basement a lot.

All: Okay, seems like a good idea.

Jeff: Get in my backpa-

Knuckles: Nope, I am not getting in there.

Sonic and Shadow: Eh, me too.

Tails: I cracked a bone because of that.

Amy: Nuh uh, no way.

Edward: I have a really big briefcase. You guys can hide in there.

Jeff: Okay, get in.

The characters get in the big briefcase, and Jeff goes.

Edward: Jeff wait!

Jeff turns around.

Edward: Good luck.

Jeff: Thanks, grandpa.

Edward: And tell your father he's a motherfucker-

Jeff: Okay, yeah. Bye grandpa, bye.

Getting Home
Jeff rushes home with the big briefcase and the characters in hand.

Timothy: Hey Jeff, your mom is hosting a-

Jeff: Sorry. Timothy! Can’t talk now!

Jeff closes the door.

Timothy: I guess he knows about it.

Jeff heads upstairs.

Jeff's Dad: Jeff, where were you? It's 6:03!

Jeff: I was…jogging.

Jeff's Mom: You were jogging for one hour and fourty eight minutes?

Jeff: Yep. Gotta stay in psyhical shape!

Jeff's Mom: How was your date?

Jeff: What?

Jeff's Mom: I said-

Jeff: made you think I ask?

Jeff opens the attic and goes up into it with the brief case.

Jeff's Dad: That kid.

Jeff opene the briefcase and the characters crawl out.

Tails: So what are we supposed to do in here?

Amy: Yeah.

Jeff: Okay, so um, this is my old TV here.

Jeff turns it on.

Jeff: Yeah, it still works, you can watch whatever you want on it, just don't make it too loud. Like put the volume on 5 or something.

Sonic: What's a volume?

Jeff: Don't ask. Also, this is my, Gensis Seg-Sega Genesis, I keep forgetting the game. You can play some games on it, there's Alex Kidd, Mortal Kombat, and Globbs the Rabbit, I dunno when I ever played this Oswald game.

Amy: Okay.

Jeff: There's also some plushies here and some pillows and blankets when you need to sleep. And…

Jeff opens the binds of the window.

Shadow: Oh, damn! That's bright, real bright!

Jeff: Sorry. There's also an AC here in case you get hot.

Knuckles: Pretty nice home you got here, Jeff.

Jeff: Thanks red guy.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff! Get down here right now!

Jeff: Whatever you guys do, do not come downstairs. In case you wanna eat something, ask me to get you a snack.

Jeff's Dad: Jeff!

Jeff: I'm coming! (whisper) Remember, stay up here!

Sonic: We got it, thanks Jeff!

Jeff comes downstairs.

Jeff: Hey guys! What's up?

Jeff's Mom: We are excited to tell you that-

Jeff: You guys are having a baby?

Jeff's Dad: NO! What the hell?

Jeff's Mom: Anyways, we are excited to announce tomorrow, we're having dinner!

Jeff: We always have dinners.

Jeff's Dad: What she means is that we'll have dinner with other people. Think Thanksgiving or Christmas!

Jeff's Mom: And almost everyone's gonna be there! Uncle Ned, Aunt Cassidy, Grandma Colleen, Timothy and his mom, your cousin Samantha, even some of our neighbors!

Jeff: Even Grandpa?

Jeff's Dad: No. Just no.

Jeff's Mom: We need you to buy some food at the supermarket too. Here's the list.

Jeff: Okay. Let me go into the attic first.

Jeff grabs a bag of doritos and goes up into the attic.

Jeff's Dad: Going into the attic with Doritos?

Sonic and Tails are shown watching a Tom and Jerry cartoon, where Jerry turns buff and beats up Tom.

Tails: Do that cat and mouse do something other then fight, fight, fight all the time?

Sonic: No I'm pretty sure that's the point of them, otherwise people wouldn't watch these.

It cuts to Knuckles trying to play on the Genesis.

Knuckles: I don't know how this "Jennysis" controller works is this up, is this right? How does it work?!

Shadow: Be careful Knuckles, you're gonna break it.

Knuckles: Me? I never break stuff.

Amy: Remember that one time on West Side Island where you held a bunny in your fist and nearly crushed it to death?

Knuckles: Good ol' memories.

Jeff comes in.

Jeff: Guys, here's a bag of doritos, you can eat them. I have to go to the supermarket, like I said, do NOT go downstairs. Okay, don't?

Amy: Got it, Jeff.

Jeff closes the attic door.

Tails: I have to pee.

Jeff goes outside and talks to Timothy.

Timothy: Hey Jeff, did you know that-

Jeff: Yeah, my parents are having dinner, I know.

Timothy: I knew, they told you!

Jeff: See you at the dinner.

Timothy: Yeah, see ya Jeff.

At the Supermarket
Jeff searches at the supermarket while holding his mom's list.

Jeff: Okay, uhm. Eggs, turkey, mashed potatoes, rice, pie, some Kool-Aid and some soda as well. Doesn't seem too hard.

Behind him, someone snatches his list.

Jeff: What the-?

Devin: Lookin' for something, Balkiry?

Stacy: Yeah, Jeff. Lookin' for something?

Devin: Babe, don't repeat the same thing I said.

Stacy: No I didn't-

Devin: YES YOU DID!

Jeff: Look Devin. I punched you in the face once, I'm not gonna do it again.

Devin: I ain't gonna bully you, Balkiry. I just wanna help you with your shopping. So what're you buying, baby powder? That definitely suits you.

Jeff: I'm buying food, Devin. Plus, I don't need help shopping. I'm 17.

Devin: But you may need an assistant.

Stacy: Yeah, so let Devin help.

Devin: Yeah, like, this!

Devin takes a soda bottle, opens it, and pours some of it on Jeff's head.

Stacy: Oh ho ho ho!

Jeff: Are you serious Devin?

Devin: You thought I was being for real? Get lost and go buy some baby powder.

Stacy: Bye, loser!

Jeff: I have the perfect plan.

While Devin is at the checkout behind all the others, Jeff walks up to him with an open jar of choclate ice cream. Jeff walks behind Jeff, and pretends to bump into him, causing them to fall down and Jeff smothers the choclate ice cream on his pants, making it look like he pooped.

Devin: Watch where you're fucking going, loser!

Jeff: Sorry. DEVIN.

Devin: Yeah, ya should be.

While Devin goes to the checkout, a little girl sees the choclate ice cream on his pants.

Little Girl: Mommy, he pooped his pants!

Stacy: Devin, what the hell?

Devin: W-what?

Devin touches his butt and finds choclate ice cream (or what he thinks is poop) on it.

Devin: What in the world?!

The whole supermarket starts laughing at Jeff, even the cashier.

Stacy: Did you fall down so hard, you shat yourself?

Devin: I don't know, what's going on!

Devin looks at Jeff, with Jeff having a smile on his face.

Devin: I KNOW YOU DID THIS, BALKIRY!

Stacy: I'm sorry Devin, but I can't be with someone who shits their pants. I'm outta here.

Devin: No, Stacy. Come back!

Tony: Yo Devin! I didn’t know you were capable of doing this!

Devin: Tony, no. This is NOT what it looks like!

Tony: Nah bro, I'm sending this to the entire school!

Devin: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Jeff also stands there in the crowd, laughing very hard.

Store Employee: HEY!

The entire crowd turns around at the employee, who is holding up the jar of chocolate ice cream.

Store Employee: WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE MOST OF THE ICE CREAM OUT OF THIS JAR?!

Jeff runs out of the supermarket, and while the employee chases him, he hides behind a car.

Store Employee: Where is that kid? God damn! He's dead.

Jeff: I might wanna go to Dollar Tree instead.

Back in the supermarket.

Devin: Tony! Buddy! Pal. You're not gonna send this to the gang, right?

Tony: Uhm…

Devin: '' Right? ''

Tony: See ya later SHATner.

Tony runs and Devin chases after him in the supermarket.

Devin: Tony! You are SO dead! I'm gonna break your fucking legs!

Nighttime and Badnik Fight
In the attic, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow all go to sleep.

Amy: Sonic, When do you think we'll find all of the six Chaos Emeralds to restore peace to our island?

Sonic: One day Amy. One day.

Knuckles: I remember playing the garden with the Chao. I really miss them.

Shadow: I was remember when Robotnik was friendly and didn't become a psychopath.

Tails: Good ol' times!

Sonic: I remember the wonderful flowers, palm trees, gardens, and beautiful blue sky.

Knuckles: And we'd look at the stars at night.

Amy: The sound of rain would help me fall asleep. Shadow: I like Jeff. He's a really trustful guy.

Tails: Me too!

Sonic: True. If it wasn’t for Jeff saving me, we all wouldn't be here.

Amy: It's a cheers to him, for allowing us to live in his shelter.

Knuckles: Attic.

Amy: What I said!

Tails: The remaining three Chaos Emeralds are hidden somewhere around the world. We just..don't know where.

Shadow: Don't worry, Tails. We'll find them. Sooner or later.

Sonic: Let's go to sleep, guys. A new day comes new adventures, but for now, let's rest easy.

Amy: Your right. Good night guys.

Knuckles: Good night.

Shadow: Good night.

Tails: Night night, everyone!

The camera zooms out of Jeff's house. Several blocks away, there is a giant ship with Robotnik's head on it, floating in Jeff's neighboorhood. It cuts to Robotnik in his ship.

Robotnik: I believe these are where three of the Chaos Emeralds are. I have the other three in my bunker and now I can get the other three for world domination.

Robotnik Robo: Excuse me, sir.

Robotnik: What is it, Robo?

Robotnik Robo: Most of the badniks have been acting out of control. Is it actually a good idea to send them out?

Robotnik: Of course it is! As long as they find me the other three Chaos Emeralds, I will give them a p-p-p-promotion!

Robotnik Robo: What about me?

Robotnik: No, just no. No promotion.

Robotnik Robo: Oh.

Robotnik flips a switch, which releases many of his badniks out into the neighboorhood.

Robotnik: Off you go, my badniks. Find the remaining three Chaos Emeralds.

While he is sleeping, Knuckles hears muffled screaming outside. He opens the window and sees the Robotnik ship as well as the badniks attacking several people. The gang wake up.

Shadow: What is that noise?

Knuckles: We might have a problem, guys. A really, really big problem.

Amy: How big of a problem is it?

Sonic: Fifty percent bad or ninety percent bad?

Knuckles: Like, one hundred and one percent bad. That's how bad it is.

They look out the window and see Robotnik's ship, as well as his badniks attacking many people.

Tails: Robotnik.

Shadow: He's attacking innocent people again!

Sonic: We must go out there and stop him. One thing is for sure, he might have those other three Chaos Emeralds. Let's go out there and stops his badniks!

Jeff hears the screaming and wakes up to find the gang running outside to stop the badniks. Jeff takes his dad's baseball bat and locks their door, so they don't hear anything.

Sonic: Remember guys! We're going for one target and that target is Robotnik! Charge!

They charge and fight the badniks for two minutes and thirty seconds, until Knuckles finds Jeff fighting the badniks.

Knuckles: Jeff!

Jeff: Knuckles!

Knuckles pushes Jeff aside and puts him in the backyard!

Jeff: Hey, I wanna help!

Knuckles: You can't help! Stay back here, you'll get yourself hurt!

Knuckles jumps away and continues fighting the badniks. Sonic sees Robotnik in the window of his ship.

Robotnik: Sonic.

Sonic: Robotnik.

As Robotnik releases more badniks out of his ship, Sonic runs up to Tails.

Tails: Sonic! Robotnik is releasing more badniks! They're becoming harder and harder to fight!

Sonic: Tails, give me some momentum to get up there! I need to beat Robotnik's butt.

Tails grabs onto Sonic and he flies him up there but are attacked by a Buzzbomber badnik. Luckily, Amy sees this and throws her hammer up to Sonic to destroy the Buzzbomber with it. Tails runs out of stamina and Sonic jumps from him and uses the hammer to break the ship's window, confronting Robotnik face to face.

Robotnik: Long time no see, Sonic. I thought my drones killed you and your puny little friends.

Sonic: We survived Robotnik. I've noticed you been eating Sonic, Robotnik-I mean Eggman.

Robotnik: Silence! You won't be joking once you die.

Sonic: We'll see about that, Eggman. ' AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! '

Sonic almost hits Robotnik, but is blocked by Robotnik Robo, causing him to fall back.

Robotnik Robo: Not so fast, blue boy.

Robotnik: Meet my new robot. The Robotnik Robo.

Sonic: That's an original name. We're gonna have a fun fight!

While Robotnik Robo and Sonic fight each other, the Area 51 military get news of the badnik attack.

Svenson: Sir! General Mackerel!

Mackerel: What is it, Svenson?

Svenson: We've just gotten news of an attack in a local neighboorhood.

Sanchez: Robotnik's at it again. Look at the head, that definitely looks like him.

Svenson: He's been eating eggs lately.

Mackerel: Svenson. Send out the FBI and police. Now. We will not let Robotnik hurt any innocent civilians on our watch. Call them NOW.

It cuts to Sonic and Robotnik Robo still fighting, until Robotnik Robo kicks him into a bunker, whereas Sonic finds the other three chaos emeralds.

Sonic: The three Chaos Emeralds! You've had them this whole time!

Robotnik: Yes. Now bye bye Sonic. Robotnik Robo, kill him.

Robotnik Robo opens the lever to the bunker, opening the hatch door having Sonic, the three emeralds, and several pieces of rubber, metal, and junk flying out of the ship.

Robotnik: No! I mean  kill  him, not send him out of the ship, idiot!

Robotnik Robo: Whoops.

Outside the Badnik attack

Amy: Guys! There's only a few badniks left! Keep fighting!

Jeff: Guys! Sonic is falling!

Tails: My tails are trapped in here!

Knuckles: Let me help you Tails!

Jeff: Amy! Get ready.

Jeff quickly goes to someone's trash can and gets a trampline-like blanket.

Jeff: Help me hold this!

Amy holds the other side of the blanket and they time where Sonic lands. Sonic lands on the blanket.

Amy: Sonic! You're ok!

Sonic: Thanks for saving me Amy. Thanks Jeff.

Knuckles: Nice job team! All of the badniks are destroyed!

Tails: Oh yeah!

Robotnik makes an announcement through his microphone in the ship.

Robotnik: You may have won this time Sonic, but that doesn't mean you'll win the war. I'll come back eventually.

Robotnik's ship leaves the neighboorhood.

Jeff: What does he mean war?

Sonic: Shadow, are you okay?

Jeff sees Shadow with a wound on his shoulder.

Jeff: Shadow, do you need help?

Shadow: No, I'll be good. Just a small cut. Nothing serious.

Tails: People are coming!

Jeff looks over and see police and FBI coming

Jeff: Get back into the house!

Jeff and the others get back into his house and gets them into the attic, and then closes the attic door.

Jeff's Dad: Jeff, what's going on?

Jeff: Diarrhea…

Jeff's Mom: My god, what's happening outside?!

Jeff's Dad: Holy shit, what's all that junk outside?

Jeff: No idea.

The scene cuts to the FBI agents, firemen, and police officers at the scene with several scrap metals of badniks, rubber, and destroyed concrete.

The News Report
Milliard Pollock: Hello News 10, I am Milliard Pollock and I am standing outside this neighboorhood in Indiana where the scene happened. Cops and firemen as well as FBI are standing outside, cleaning up this event, where an evil scientist named Dr. Robotnik invaded this place of the neighboorhood here.

The scene to cuts to Jeff as he eats cereal while watching the news.

Milliard Pollock: Here are some witnesses of the events.

Witness #1: So like, it was so crazy. I heard gunshots and busting outside and then I looked out and saw like these metal robot things, getting busted by some humanoid creatures, I guess?

Milliard Pollock: What did they look like?

Witness #1: I mean, I can't entirely remember. I only remember three things. One: they could talk. Two: one of them had a hammer. And three: one of them was red. So like, I don't know if I was hallucinating or something, but I definitely saw some stuff. Definitely.

Milliard Pollock: Now the next witness.

Witness #2: Okay so. My mom woke me up and told me to come into the basement cuz she thought there was an alien invasion, but there wasn't. Just a bunch of metal fighting. I also heard people talking? That other guy said that he saw humanoid creatures, but I didn't see stuff, so I don't really know what was actually happening there.

Jeff's Mom: Jeff, remember you're staying home because of the destruction newr the neighborhood.

Jeff: Yeah, I know Mom.

Milliard Pollock: (on TV) As of an hour ago, it has been reported by authorities that three people have been confirmed dead.

Jeff shakes his head in disbelief and then sighs.

Jeff's Dad: Hey, uh Jeff, did you also get the grocery yesterday, before the whole destruction things happened like two blocks down?

Jeff: Yes, Dad, I did.

Jeff's Dad: Great, cause we're still having the dinner today.

Jeff: What?!

Jeff's Dad: Yeah.

Jeff's Mom: What's wrong with that?

Jeff: You are hosting a dinner tonight, at this tragedy?

Jeff's Dad: It was only like two blocks away, calm down.

Jeff: Some people literally died.

Jeff's Mom: Yes, and we're sending condolences BUT we're still hosting the dinner. On this day, March 15, we host a family dinner at night. It's a family tradition!

Jeff: Well why?

Jeff's Dad: Well, Jeff. You see, on this day, your great-great-great grandpa-

Jeff: You know what I don't need a history lesson.

Jeff's Mom: Well you're the one who asked!

Jeff's Dad: You're lucky we're not asian.

It cuts to the characters in the attic, with Tails putting a bandage on Shadow's wounded shoulder.

Tails: And there we go! The wound should heal in like, a couple of days.

Sonic: You sure you okay, Shadow?

Shadow: Yeah, seriously. It's nothing bad.

Amy: Just try not to play with the wound.

Shadow: Why would I?

Amy: I dunno. I used to do that all that time when I was a kid. It hurt a lot.

Tails: Which is why you don't do it.

Jeff comes into the attic.

Knuckles: Hello, Jeff!

Jeff: Shhh! Be quiet, my mom and dad's gonna hear you!

Knuckles: Oh, sorry.

Jeff: My mom and dad are having a dinner tonight. Whatever you do, don't go downstairs, okay? I may sound like a broken record, but please don't.

Amy: Yeah, okay.

Jeff: If you're hungry, then I'll bring you food from downstairs, but don't go down.

Shadow: Yep, got it.

Jeff comes back downstairs and closes the attic door.

FBI
The FBI, police, and firefighters are investigating the site.

Mackerel: My god. Robotnik has struck again.

Svenson: Sir!

Mackerel: Yes?

Svenson: This guy found something.

FBI Agent: We found three emeralds.

Mackerel: Show them to me.

The agent leads Mackerel and Svenson to the site of the emeralds.

FBI Agent: We found the emeralds under the rubble. They have different colors. Blue, yellow, and white. And here they are.

They pull out the rubble and find the emeralds.

Svenson: We don't know where these emeralds come from. One thing we know, these emeralds have SUPER powerful radiation. So they may or may not be dangerous.

Mackerel touches the emeralds.

FBI Agent: Sir! DON'T!

Mackerel: They're safe to touch.

Sanchez runs up to Mackerel.

Sanchez: Mackerel, we found something.

Svenson: What is it?

Sanchez: We found more radiation readings from two miles away.

Mackerel: Hold on.

Svenson: Let me see that, sweetie…

Svenson takes the radiator and compares it to his with the emeralds.

Svenson: Woah. This is ten times the radiation readings of the emeralds!

Sanchez: Exactly.

Mackerel: Then we have to raid the house. Ask the owner if he knows anything, full search investigation.

FBI Agent: Got it.

The scene cuts to Sonic watching them on the roof.

Sonic: The Chaos Emeralds.

Tails: If you go out there, you'll be seen and you'll get shot!

Sonic: Yes, but what choice do we have? We have to restore peace to our island. We can't stay with Jeff forever.

Amy: Guys! Get back in here! People are going to see us!

Knuckles: Yeah!

Sonic: Okay…come on Tails, let's go.

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy go back into Jeff's attic.

Grandpa’s Police Raid
Edward looks at structures of the three emeralds on his table.

Edward: Hm. Interesting.

He hears a knock upstairs.

Edward: Jeff is that you?

Edward comes upstairs and the FBI immediately come in.

FBI Agent: Get down on the ground!

Edward: Oh shit!

Three FBI agents get Edward on the ground with handcuffe on him.

Edward: What in Matilda is going on?!

Mackerel comes in.

Mackerel: We are the FBI. We have come to investigate your house after radiation readings.

Edward: No, don't look in my attic!

An FBI agent from upstairs calls out.

FBI Agent #2: Hey! He doesn't even have an attic.

Mackerel: Check the basement.

Edward: WAIT WAIT NO! DON'T CHECK THE BASEMENT! Uhm, there's spiders in there! OOOOOH, SPOOKY!

The FBI come down to his basement and see his lab.

Mackerel: Wowie. Imagine the electricity bills here.

Svenson: The emeralds!

The FBI agents collect the emeralds and go upstairs with them.

FBI Agent #3: There is a whole lot of illegal stuff in here.

Mackerel and the agents head back upstairs to a table and sit down with Edward.

Edward: Let me the hell go!

Mackerel: Don't make up any lies, and tell me the truth. Where did you get the Chaos Emeralds from? We have a lie detector machine RIGHT here, and it'll tell us whether you're lying or not. You have three chances.

Edward: Uhm…my useless step-cousin Bedward did it?

Lie Detector Machine: Lie, lie. That is a lie.

Edward: Fuck.

Mackerel: Two more.

Edward: I found them in the ocean.

Lie Detector Machine: Lie, lie. That is a lie.

Mackerel: Listen, you have one more chance before you get tased. Tell us where you got the emeralds from, or go to prison for illegal smuggling. You'll still go to prison, but, tell us. Now.

Edward: Okay fine. I got it from the beach, and my grandson bought magic creatures to his house.

Lie Detector Machine: That, is the truth.

Edward: OH SHI-

Mackerel: Your grandson? Magical creatures?

Edward: Whaaat? No. You're on drugs right now, I didn't say that!

Mackerel: You are coming with us.

Edward gets dragged out of his house into the police car.

Edward: Wait, wait no! I'm innocent I swear! Arrest my bastard son, he says I smoke pot but I don't! Please, please, please help me, no I'm innocent, I'll give you all my life savings, I'll give you men, just please, don't arrest me!

Mackerel: Svenson. Lead the FBI agents around his house and keep investigating.

Svenson: Yes.

Edward: Please, no! Not my baby!

Edward is drove off in the police car, along with Mackerel and an FBI van come with them.

Svenson: Oooh! A beer!