Pico/Transcript

Pre-Pico
(Keith and Cherry are trying to find their way through a part of town that they don’t know. Cherry is carrying some speakers)

Keith: Hmmm...A left turn here…

Cherry: Er...I’m glad you’re walking me home, Keith...But are you sure you know where you’re going?

Keith: Of course I do! Your place should be riiight over…

(Suddenly, he realizes that he doesn’t know where he and Cherry are)

Keith: We’re lost.

(Suddenly, a very familiar face appears from a back corner. It’s Pico, Newgrounds’ most well-known mascot. He apparently knows who Keith is, as they used to be good friends, and maybe something more, before the events of Pico’s School. As he speaks, his voice is rather harsh and nasally)

Pico: Heheheh. Still don’t have any sense of direction after all these years, do ya, Keith?

(Keith is quite surprised to see his former best friend, and to an extent, ex-boyfriend, who is now known by many as a gun-toting lunatic)

Keith: Pico? Of all people…

Cherry: Huh? You guys know each other?

Keith: Oh yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but he and I used to date, but I had to break up with him after he got a little too...violent. It’s kind of a long story, really.

Cherry: Wait, you dated him?

Keith: Yeah, I’m bisexual, but I lean more towards girls now.

Cherry: Wow, that’s kind of weird. I’m surprised you hadn’t told me that before.

Keith: Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being bi. Everyone’s cool with it nowadays. Even though we broke up, Pico’s still on good terms with me...or at least, I think he is. I’m not quite sure.

Pico: I could’ve brought Darnell and Nene with me tonight, like I usually do, but they were a little busy doing...some other things, if you know what I mean.

Keith: Anyway, what’re you doin’ here, Pico?

Pico: Savin’ your bacon. Or cookin’ it, if you can’t keep up with my rap. You always told me that you wanted to be a famous rapper, and someone told me that lately some people have been challenging you to rap battles to prove your worth. So, how about it, pal?

Keith: Sounds like a challenge to me! You’re on!

(Keith picks up his microphone and gets ready to beat his former best friend and ex, who has brought his gun with him. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to be planning on shooting Keith or Cherry, and is just waving it about to be a bit of a show-off...or so it might seem.)

Pico
Pico: I’m sure you’re top dog back in your town But now you’re steppin’ on some Newgrounds

Keith: You know I’m top dog back in my town You can’t beat these skills, you’re goin’ down!

Pico: Sit back and rap, unwind Got something on your mind? Baby, I’m not the kind To leave my past behind

Keith: When I sit and unwind A flash of memories bind A portal back through time But I’ve left that behind

Pico: You know I’m so much more than just a nostalgic memory You got your style and all your rhythmic wiles from me

Keith: We had some good times, Pico, so thanks for all the memories But you’ll need to do way more than reminisce to beat me

Pico: You wanna go? In that case You better keep up your pace! I’m wearin’ my Angry Faic Time to put you in your place

Keith: You wanna go in that case? Don’t worry about my pace This battle isn’t a race But you’ll finish in last place! You might think I’m just a blockhead But there’s wisdom in all these dope rhymes I thread!

Pico: (overlapping) You thought you’d put this to bed You’ve crashed my castle instead You don’t know what lies ahead You’ve changed, dude, you’ve been misled

Keith: I’ve grown up, you’re still a boy Wavin’ that lead-shootin’ toy There’s so much more to enjoy Than violence, anger, and noise

Pico: It just ain’t gettin’ through to you to embrace your origins I’ll bring out the tank, man, don’t make me do it to win

Keith: I’ve become so much more than what I was in my origins Bring your worst, I’m daily first, this boyfriend just can’t not win! (Song ends)

Cherry: That was cool! You two sure had a lot to catch up on after not talking to each other for a long time!

(But Pico isn’t planning on letting them go yet)

Pico: You’re just rubbin’ it in now, huh? How much better you’ve been doin’ since you left me behind…

Keith: Pico, c’mon, don’t bring that up…

Pico: Hey, all’s fair in love and war.

Keith: So, did you manage to find another partner after that little…incident between us?

Pico: Uh, yeah, I did. But I’m not gonna talk about her right now. How about we do another song instead?

Keith: …Alright. Let’s do it.

(The next song begins)

Philly Nice
Pico: You won’t say that We go way back Let’s pause playback Turn back that strawberry clock

Keith: It’s fine, stop it Pico, drop it Let’s just rock it And once this rap’s done, I’ll walk

Pico: Late nights, the mood was just right When Glenside beamed with hope and pride And Philly was nice Come on!

Keith: Can’t forget the day we first met You’ve still got flow, but long ago Your rhymes were still fresh Come on!

Pico: When I rapped, I stopped poppin’ caps Hung up my uzi, turned to music All of that crap, you know…

Keith: Man, you were great! Too bad that your hate Of new stuff left you in the past And made you stagnate, you know…

Pico: Rappin’ one day on the block I spot somethin’ that leaves me shocked A new kid spittin’ on my tracks That kid was you, your rhymes were wack, man!

Keith: Mighta started weak and cringey But you lit a fire in me! We became fast friends for sure And maybe even something more…

Pico: Been blammin’ turds since ‘99 But took me all those years to find An underdog, a total wreck I actually wanted to protect

Keith: It was nice, least while it lasted Any threat we met, you blasted Let’s stop there, or else I’d figure I might set off your hair-trigger

Pico: That’s what you said then God, I’m reliving it again! I heard the gunshots from behind you And my instincts just kicked in, baby!

Keith: It wasn’t gunshots, dude! Just some jackhammer-wielding bot who’d Been assigned to install a vending machine In the parking lot. It’s all cool!

Pico: Whole town looked wrong There was somethin’ going on! Looked around for the attacker Looked back down and you were gone, baby!

Keith: Man, I was scared! Couldn’t ever be prepared For the guy I trusted most To have my face lined up within his crosshairs…

Pico: Wish we talked it out, but still Get why you ran off for the hills… I shoulda realized, once a merc You work alone, or folks get hurt…

Keith: Wait, hold on, you’re still a merc? Thought you just picked up singin’ work But takin’ up more hireds hits Can’t be good for your mind, man. Call it quits!

(The song finishes, and Pico is outraged by Keith’s request)

Pico: Wait. Call it…quits? No. I can’t call it quits. I work my job. I sing my music.

Keith: C’mon, man…I’m so close to makin’ it big…I could probably take you up with me! We can still be friends, you know.

Pico: Sorry, dude. Livin’ the life of a pop star just doesn’t work out for people like me.

Keith: Well, maybe it would if you just got rid of that stupid gun!

Pico: What? You want me…to give up…my gun?!

Keith: Okay, maybe that was a little too far…Just…calm down, bro! Look, you’re aiming that thing at me by accident again!

Pico: Oh, it’s not an accident, this time. I got one hell of a high-payin’ job from some ol’ demon rockstar that I was plannin’ to turn down…Until now.

Keith: Huh? You mean…Daddy Dearest?

Pico: Riiight on the money. He hired me to kill you. He said you embarrassed him but he wouldn’t tell me what for.

Keith: All I did was beat him in a rap battle.

Pico: That’s petty as heck in hindsight. But money is money, and murder frickin’ rocks! So here’s how it’s gonna go. You got one more song left to change my mind about my line of work. And maybe I’ll tell you about my current girlfriend. But if you lose…well…Blam this peaceful rap!

Blammed
Pico: This battle’s just begun All this fire boutta kill someone I’m out for blood now We’ve gone past the point of havin’ fun

Keith: This battle’s all but won Why reset when it’s said and done? So I live in the present Doesn’t mean I can’t have fun

Pico: You act like you’re above me Just because you’re a rising star I’m an original But you know just who you DDR

Keith: I don’t think I’m above you But you’re right, Pico, I’m a star I’ve got a lot of weeks to go But I know I’m goin’ far!

Pico: Your stars burn out fast, runnin’ out of hits You’re all uber kids, but me? I’m a cult classic!

Keith: I’ve got what it takes, I know I’ll make it Move on from the past, join me, I’ll make you a hit!

Pico: No way, you’re gonna clean me up And make me somebody that I’m not And I’d rather burn it all to the ground And be a legend left forgotten

Keith: I don’t want anything to change about you I just want you to see That I really wanna help you Get on your feet just like back when you helped me

Pico: (It’s been too long, it ain’t that easy!) All I know is my past Do people really wanna hear all about it? Feel like an old guy lecturin’ But what even am I without it?

Keith: You can bring new eyes to your classics While you make new hits just like I do Be the same Pico that made me Want to build my skills to be just like you!

Pico: Guess I oughta move forward with the times… Mix some old-school beats with a couple new-school rhymes!

Keith: You can bring folks back and keep with the times Mix some new-school beats with a couple from your prime!

Pico: You know, pal, maybe I’ll do that! That sounds tight! Thanks for bringin’ me back out into the spotlight!

Keith: Pleasure, bud! You’ll be great! Your future’s real bright! Glad to help you step back out into the spotlight!

(Song ends)

Pico: (chuckles) Looks like that stupid, wide-eyed optimism of your saved my bacon this time. Put ‘er there, pal.

Keith: Uh, please put your gun down first.

Pico: Deal. But if you ever try to take it away, again…I’m puttin’ you down.

Keith: Deal…So...I won, yeah? Then...heh…Can you tell me about what happened after that incident?

Pico: Well…You know Nene, the girl with the knives who tends to kill herself every so often, only to respawn every time? I heard she’s now running a sushi restaurant or somethin’, but I’m not quite sure.

Keith: Uh…yeah? What about her?

Pico: As it turns out, she had a crush on me for a long time, but never had a chance to tell me that until after you broke up with me. Guess she was waitin’ for the right time to admit her feelings to me. I never told her that you and I were a couple, because she’s extremely homophobic. I just told her that you were my friend so that she wouldn’t freak out and kill herself, like she usually does. But she doesn’t do that very much now that I’ve started dating her and she started putting her knives to good use. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve been coping with our breakup by having Nene around.

Cherry: Aw, that’s so sweet.

Keith: Well, Pico, I’m glad that you have a girlfriend now. But I don’t think I’ve introduced you to mine yet.

(Cherry gets off the speakers so Keith can introduce her to Pico)

Keith: This is Cherry. I’ve been dating her for a few months now. She’s really sweet and caring, and she’s always there to cheer me on during my rap battles. She’s also very loyal and cares about me a lot. I see her as a huge inspiration, and she helped me explore my sexuality when I was questioning it. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized that even though I’m bi, I like girls a lot more than boys.

Pico: Dude…That’s so deep. You must love her more than you loved me before.

Keith: You bet I do. In fact, I love her more than any of the other girls I used to date.

Cherry: And I love him more than any of the other boys I used to date.

Pico: Wow. You two must love each other very much.

Cherry: It’s true. We really do. Love conquers everything, after all.

Keith: I bet you’ve never realized what true love really feels like. To have someone who knows and accepts you for who you are. Nene probably doesn’t mind that you’re a gun-toting lunatic, because I’m sure you can still be a nice, caring person deep down.

Pico: I…I guess you’re right.

Keith: So even though we’re not a couple anymore and have found new romantic partners, I’m sure we can still continue our relationship, but only as good friends. Deal?

Pico: …What the heck? Deal. I don’t mind that we’re just friends now, Keith. I’ve always enjoyed your company, and you’ve helped me learn that I don’t need to be so obsessed with violence all the time. So…thanks a lot, dude.

Keith: Hey, no problem.

Cherry: I think we should probably go now. It’s getting kinda late.

Keith: Yeah, I agree. So, can you, uh…Help us get home?

(Pico suddenly remembers that he must help Keith and Cherry get home after being so focused on testing his friend’s rapping skills)

Pico: Oh yeah, that. You’re gonna want to turn right.

(Keith and Cherry look in the direction Pico is pointing and see Cherry’s house straight ahead)

Keith: Oh. Thanks! See ya!

(Keith and Cherry pick up the speakers and leave. Pico chuckles to himself knowingly)

Pico: That Keith is still the same nice guy that I’m glad to have had as my friend a long time ago. It’s kind of a disappointment that he broke up with me long ago and started dating that girl, but I guess I'm still learning to move on and accept him as just a friend. Maybe I’ll save his bacon again the next time I see him and his girlfriend...