Logan Swan (2005 film)/Transcript


 * (clock clicking)
 * Children: Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing...
 * Child: One Grease Cone, please.
 * Baker: Here you go.
 * Child: Thanks.
 * (mechanical whirring)
 * (pigeons cooing)
 * Luke: Wa-hoo! I'm gonna be a dad! I just talked to my wife! My baby's gonna be delivered any minute!
 * Cop: Hey! Get out of the way!
 * Luke: Hey! Hey! I'm gonna be a dad! Congratulate me! Wa-hoo!
 * Man 1: Huh?
 * Man 2: Hmm?
 * Fire Hydrant: Good for you, Luke!
 * (sniffing)
 * Fire Hydrant: Don't even think about it.
 * (whines)
 * Luke: Wa-hoo!
 * Man 3: Hey!
 * Luke: Whoa! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
 * Man 3: Oh! Sorry! Hey, how are you?
 * Luke: I'm gonna be a dad!
 * Man 3: Congrats!
 * Luke: Whoo-hoo!
 * (whimpers)
 * Luke: Hey, rotor, did you hear the news?
 * Rotor: Yeah!
 * Luke: Beautiful day, isn't it?
 * (knocking)
 * Luke: I'm here! I'm here! I'm here.
 * Lillian: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery.
 * Luke: Oh...
 * Lillian: But it's okay. Making the baby's the fun part.
 * (sultry saxophone music plays)
 * Lillian: Honey, I think you've got the wrong, uh...
 * Luke: (chuckles) No. I don't need to see the directions.
 * Doctor: (offscreen) Pull! Pull! Pull...!
 * (grunting)
 * (grunts)
 * (laughing)
 * (grunting)
 * Lillian: (gasps) Oh!
 * (baby crying)
 * Lillian: 12 hours of labor. Oh, but it was worth it.
 * Luke: Look at him. Look at him! Logan Swan. He's got your mom's eyes and my dad's nose. I knew we were smart to save these borns. This Swan will do great things for the word, I can feel it.
 * Lillian: Honey?
 * Luke: What?
 * Lillian: What's that extra piece?
 * Luke: Oh. Oh, no, they always put in an extra... (chuckles) We did want a boy, right? (clears throat) This won't hurt a bit, son.
 * (clang)
 * (bawling)
 * (camera shutter clicks)
 * (imitates monkey)
 * (crying)
 * Luke: (babbles baby talk) (chuckles) Got it toe. Got it toe. Got it. Whoa!
 * (crying)
 * (nervous chuckle)
 * (shutter clicks)
 * (crying)
 * (clicking)
 * (crying quietly)
 * (stops crying)
 * Baby: Dada! (babbles) (giggling)
 * (shutter clicks)
 * (Logan panting)
 * Luke: Hi, son.
 * Young Logan: Are those my big-boy parts?
 * Luke: They sure are.
 * Young Logan: Wow! They're not shiny.
 * Pinocchio: Are you gonna keep quietly, Alice.
 * Alice: Well done, Pinocchio.
 * Luke: Well, they're not brand-new. They're p... pre-owned, so...
 * Lillian: They're hand-me-downs, from your cousin, Geoffrey.
 * Alice: You know, about Disney films.
 * Pinocchio: And going to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
 * Luke: And they're only for a year.
 * (torso clattering)
 * (panting)
 * (grunting)
 * (clamoring voices)
 * Parade Leader: Make way for the heroes of city.
 * (marching band playing)
 * Bass Drum: Ow... Hey! Ow-no! Aah!
 * Young Logan: (offscreen) Hey, Dad! Who's that?
 * Luke: That, Logan, is Buzz Lightyear, the greatest balloon in the world.
 * Young Logan: I thought you were the greatest balloon in the world.
 * Luke: (chuckles) No, besides me. He's the head of Weight Street. He invents things that make everyone's life better.
 * Young Logan: Could I meet him?
 * Luke: Sure. Maybe someday.
 * Young Logan: Dad?
 * Luke: Yeah?
 * Young Logan: What do you do?
 * Luke: Me? Oh, I work in a big, fancy restaurant. I'm a dishwasher.
 * Announcer: And now, live from the city, it's the "Weight Man Show"!
 * Young Logan: Wa-hoo! Oh, yeah! Uh-huh! Come on, Dad, you're missing it!
 * Luke: All right, all right, Rodney, all right, I'm coming, I'm coming. I had to bring work home with me again, I'm sorry. Arby's has really been piling it on.
 * Announcer: And now, the host of our show, Weight Man!
 * Weight Man: Welcome! This week, I thought you might like to take a look around Weight Street. This here is the front gate. Kind of cute, ain't it?
 * (upbeat music playing)
 * Weight Man: Good morning, puppet.
 * Puppet: Good morning, Weight Man, sir!
 * Weight Man: Puppet, who closed the front gate?
 * Puppet: Well, I just thought since, uh...
 * Weight Man: Oh, we never shut the gate, puppet. Shutting this gate means shutting out frest ideas. You see, every day people come from hither and yon, bringing us new ideas.
 * (sneezes)
 * Weight Man: And I listen to every single one of them.
 * (beeps)
 * Man 4: Hmm?
 * (beeping)
 * Man 5: Hmm?
 * Man 4: Aah!
 * (soft gasp)
 * Weight Man: So remember, whether a citizen is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matter what you're made of.
 * Young Logan: He's talking to me, Dad.
 * Luke: He sure is, son, he sure is.
 * Weight Man: (offscreen) Okay, folks, let's get to inventin'! You, know, I love to tinker, but all the tinkering in the world isn't useful unless it starts with a good idea.
 * (screams)
 * Weight Man: So look around for a need, and start coming up with ideas to fill that need. One idea will lead to another, and before you know it, you've done it again! See a need, fill a need.
 * Young Logan: That's it, Dad. I have to looking in.
 * (snoring)
 * Young Logan: I need.
 * (mechanical whirring)
 * Young Logan: Easy, now. (chuckles)
 * (squeaky chuckle)
 * (squeaky grunting)
 * (gasping)
 * (grunting)
 * (squeaky laughing)
 * Young Logan: Ow! Ow!
 * Luke: Hey there, kid!
 * (muffled speak)
 * Young Logan: Oh. Hi.
 * Luke: These are your 12-year-old parts. They're...
 * Young Logan: Hand-me-downs. I-I know, Dad.
 * (muffled squeak)
 * Young Logan: I don't mind.
 * Luke: They are from your cousin, Veronica.
 * Lillian: (sing-song) You know how popular she is.
 * (groans)
 * (muffled squeaks)
 * (Logan grunts)
 * (squeaky giggling)
 * ("Pomp and Circumstance" playing over cheers)
 * (shutter clicks)
 * (rock music playing)
 * (people talking)
 * Man 6: Thanks.
 * (whirring, clattering)
 * (whirring dies down)
 * (crunching)
 * (duct tape unrolling)
 * Luke: (chuckles) Oh. Oh, hey. Hey. Soon as you reach the age where your warranty expires, you start falling apart. Pretty soon there's gonna be more duct tape than me.
 * Logan: Can I try it now, Dad?
 * Luke: Oh. Oh, Logan, uh... Have you worked all the kinks out of it yet?
 * Logan: Come on, this is gonna make your job easy. I invented it for you.
 * Luke: Okay. Let's try it.
 * Logan: Great! Okay, this is it.
 * (squeaky fanfare)
 * Logan: Pigeon, go to work!
 * (squeaky exclamation)