Miranda Mary Piker

Miranda Mary Piker is a song from the draft of the 1964 novel and the upcoming play.

original draft
Oompa Loompas: Oh, Miranda Mary Piker,

How could anybody like her,

Such a priggish and revolting little kid.

So we said, 'Why don't we fix her

In the Spotty-Powder mixer

Then we're bound to like her better than we did.'

Soon this child who is so vicious

Will have gotten quite delicious,

And her classmates will have surely understood

That instead of saying, 'Miranda! Oh, the beast! We cannot stand her!' They'll be saying, 'Oh, how useful and how good!'

upcoming 2019 play version
Oompa loompa doompety doo

I've got another puzzle for you

Oompa loompa doompeda dee

If you are wise you'll listen to me

Oh, Miranda Mary Piker,

How could anybody like her,

Such a priggish and revolting little kid.

So we said, 'Why don't we fix her

In the Spotty-Powder mixer

Then we're bound to like her better than we did.'

Soon this child who is so vicious

Will have gotten quite delicious,

And her classmates will have surely understood

That instead of saying, 'Miranda! Oh, the beast! We cannot stand her!' They'll be saying, 'Oh, how useful and how good!'

Oompa loompa doompety da

If you like fun you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do