You're Not Actually Assistant Director (Transcript)

Derrick later meets Mat, the former actor behind Chris on West End and Ben, the head of tech's husband. Derrick is wearing his blonde wig because he knows that everyone would recognise him.

Derrick: Does anyone know where the light board is? Like the spotlight?

Mat: Woah woah, you gotta take that wig off That's way too bright. Sorry but we'll be able to see that through the curtains, you gotta cut that off.

Derrick: Erm... who are you?

Mat: I'm the stage manager.

Derrick: This hair is not even bright.

Mat: It's practically glowing you're not gonna run around backstage with that thing around your head.

Derrick: Yes I can because I'm on a tech crew or whatever.

Mat: Okay, if you're going to be backstage, you're gonna take off the wig or I'll take it off for you.

Derrick: Literally, who do you think you are?

Mat: The stage manager.

Derrick: You think you can just come up here and tell me what to do?

Mat: Yes, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. You need to take off the wig.

Derrick: I don't have to listen to you, you're not the director.

Mat: Seriously, this is the last chance. Take off the wig or I'll take it off for you-

Derrick: You can't touch me. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to listen to people like you. You're just jealous of me. Last time I checked, there wasn't a dress code.

Mat: Okay, nope. There we go, much better.

Mat took off Derrick's blonde wig revealing his natural and brown curly hair. His hair looks similar to Wilbur's, but as how the cast members describe it, a horrible knockoff version.

Derrick: What are you doing?

Mat: Now wasn't hard at all, was it?

Derrick: What makes you think you can just take my wig?

Mat: I told you to take it off and you didn't take it off. Wow, you really are that groomer who groomed our actresses when they were young.

Derrick: That is my wig, you need to give it back.

Mat: This hair is not allowed backstage. I will not have it backstage.

Derrick: I literally do not care. You have no clue who I am-

Mat: Oh, I know who you are. You're the guy who groomed the actresses long ago and now you came all the way here just to harass our actors of all ages. But you don't know who I am and I'm not the director. I'm the stage manager. And I'm not gonna have patience for you like our directors have had.

While the commotion is happening, Toby went backstage to figure out what's going on.

Toby: Dad, what's going on? Why do I hear that voice?

Mat: Hey son.

Derrick: The 'stage manager,' is your dad?

Mat: Yeah, I adopted him when he was 13.

Derrick: Your dad needs to give my wig back.

Mat: Here, take your wig and go.

Toby: What are you doing here?