Logan Swan (2005 film)/Transcript


 * (clock clicking)
 * Children: Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing...
 * Child: One Grease Cone, please.
 * Baker: Here you go.
 * Child: Thanks.
 * (mechanical whirring)
 * (pigeons cooing)
 * Luke: Wa-hoo! I'm gonna be a dad! I just talked to my wife! My baby's gonna be delivered any minute!
 * Cop: Hey! Get out of the way!
 * Luke: Hey! Hey! I'm gonna be a dad! Congratulate me! Wa-hoo!
 * Man 1: Huh?
 * Man 2: Hmm?
 * Fire Hydrant: Good for you, Luke!
 * (sniffing)
 * Fire Hydrant: Don't even think about it.
 * (whines)
 * Luke: Wa-hoo!
 * Man 3: Hey!
 * Luke: Whoa! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
 * Man 3: Oh! Sorry! Hey, how are you?
 * Luke: I'm gonna be a dad!
 * Man 3: Congrats!
 * Luke: Whoo-hoo!
 * (whimpers)
 * Luke: Hey, rotor, did you hear the news?
 * Rotor: Yeah!
 * Luke: Beautiful day, isn't it?
 * (knocking)
 * Luke: I'm here! I'm here! I'm here.
 * Lillian: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery.
 * Luke: Oh...
 * Lillian: But it's okay. Making the baby's the fun part.
 * (sultry saxophone music plays)
 * Lillian: Honey, I think you've got the wrong, uh...
 * Luke: (chuckles) No. I don't need to see the directions.
 * Doctor: (offscreen) Pull! Pull! Pull...!
 * (grunting)
 * (grunts)
 * (laughing)
 * (grunting)
 * Lillian: (gasps) Oh!
 * (baby crying)
 * Lillian: 12 hours of labor. Oh, but it was worth it.
 * Luke: Look at him. Look at him! Logan Swan. He's got your mom's eyes and my dad's nose. I knew we were smart to save these borns. This Swan will do great things for the word, I can feel it.
 * Lillian: Honey?
 * Luke: What?
 * Lillian: What's that extra piece?
 * Luke: Oh. Oh, no, they always put in an extra... (chuckles) We did want a boy, right? (clears throat) This won't hurt a bit, son.
 * (clang)
 * (bawling)
 * (camera shutter clicks)
 * (imitates monkey)
 * (crying)
 * Luke: (babbles baby talk) (chuckles) Got it toe. Got it toe. Got it. Whoa!
 * (crying)
 * (nervous chuckle)
 * (shutter clicks)
 * (crying)
 * (clicking)
 * (crying quietly)
 * (stops crying)
 * Baby: Dada! (babbles) (giggling)
 * (shutter clicks)
 * (Logan panting)
 * Luke: Hi, son.
 * Young Logan: Are those my big-boy parts?
 * Luke: They sure are.
 * Young Logan: Wow! They're not shiny.
 * Pinocchio: Are you gonna keep quietly, Alice.
 * Alice: Well done, Pinocchio.
 * Luke: Well, they're not brand-new. They're p... pre-owned, so...
 * Lillian: They're hand-me-downs, from your cousin, Geoffrey.
 * Alice: You know, about Disney films.
 * Pinocchio: And going to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
 * Luke: And they're only for a year.
 * (torso clattering)
 * (panting)
 * (grunting)
 * (clamoring voices)
 * Parade Leader: Make way for the heroes of city.
 * (marching band playing)
 * Bass Drum: Ow... Hey! Ow-no! Aah!
 * Young Logan: (offscreen) Hey, Dad! Who's that?
 * Luke: That, Logan, is Buzz Lightyear, the greatest balloon in the world.
 * Young Logan: I thought you were the greatest balloon in the world.
 * Luke: (chuckles) No, besides me. He's the head of Weight Street. He invents things that make everyone's life better.
 * Young Logan: Could I meet him?
 * Luke: Sure. Maybe someday.
 * Young Logan: Dad?
 * Luke: Yeah?
 * Young Logan: What do you do?
 * Luke: Me? Oh, I work in a big, fancy restaurant. I'm a dishwasher.
 * Announcer: And now, live from the city, it's the "Weight Man Show"!
 * Young Logan: Wa-hoo! Oh, yeah! Uh-huh! Come on, Dad, you're missing it!
 * Luke: All right, all right, Rodney, all right, I'm coming, I'm coming. I had to bring work home with me again, I'm sorry. Arby's has really been piling it on.
 * Announcer: And now, the host of our show, Weight Man!
 * Weight Man: Welcome! This week, I thought you might like to take a look around Weight Street. This here is the front gate. Kind of cute, ain't it?
 * (upbeat music playing)
 * Weight Man: Good morning, puppet.
 * Puppet: Good morning, Weight Man, sir!
 * Weight Man: Puppet, who closed the front gate?
 * Puppet: Well, I just thought since, uh...
 * Weight Man: Oh, we never shut the gate, puppet. Shutting this gate means shutting out frest ideas. You see, every day people come from hither and yon, bringing us new ideas.
 * (sneezes)
 * Weight Man: And I listen to every single one of them.
 * (beeps)
 * Man 4: Hmm?
 * (beeping)
 * Man 5: Hmm?
 * Man 4: Aah!
 * (soft gasp)
 * Weight Man: So remember, whether a citizen is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matter what you're made of.
 * Young Logan: He's talking to me, Dad.
 * Luke: He sure is, son, he sure is.
 * Weight Man: (offscreen) Okay, folks, let's get to inventin'! You, know, I love to tinker, but all the tinkering in the world isn't useful unless it starts with a good idea.
 * (screams)
 * Weight Man: So look around for a need, and start coming up with ideas to fill that need. One idea will lead to another, and before you know it, you've done it again! See a need, fill a need.
 * Young Logan: That's it, Dad. I have to looking in.
 * (snoring)
 * Young Logan: I need.
 * (mechanical whirring)
 * Young Logan: Easy, now. (chuckles)
 * (squeaky chuckle)
 * (squeaky grunting)
 * (gasping)
 * (grunting)
 * (squeaky laughing)
 * Young Logan: Ow! Ow!
 * Luke: Hey there, kid!
 * (muffled speak)
 * Young Logan: Oh. Hi.
 * Luke: These are your 12-year-old parts. They're...
 * Young Logan: Hand-me-downs. I-I know, Dad.
 * (muffled squeak)
 * Young Logan: I don't mind.
 * Luke: They are from your cousin, Veronica.
 * Lillian: (sing-song) You know how popular she is.
 * (groans)
 * (muffled squeaks)
 * (Logan grunts)
 * (squeaky giggling)
 * ("Pomp and Circumstance" playing over cheers)
 * (shutter clicks)
 * (rock music playing)
 * (people talking)
 * Man 6: Thanks.
 * (whirring, clattering)
 * (whirring dies down)
 * (crunching)
 * (duct tape unrolling)
 * Luke: (chuckles) Oh. Oh, hey. Hey. Soon as you reach the age where your warranty expires, you start falling apart. Pretty soon there's gonna be more duct tape than me.
 * Logan: Can I try it now, Dad?
 * Luke: Oh. Oh, Logan, uh... Have you worked all the kinks out of it yet?
 * Logan: Come on, this is gonna make your job easy. I invented it for you.
 * Luke: Okay. Let's try it.
 * Logan: Great! Okay, this is it.
 * (squeaky fanfare)
 * Logan: Pigeon, go to work!
 * (squeaky exclamation)
 * ♪♪ (Ricky Fante: Shine)
 * Man 7: Whoa! Look out!
 * (funky music plays)
 * (high-pitched grunt)
 * Ricky Fante: ♪ When the world counts you out. When you're lost, and you doubt, that you're good enough. ♪
 * Pigeon: Wa-hoo!
 * Man 7: Yeah! Yeah!
 * Ricky Fante: ♪ When you're out on your own and you're feeling all alone, just keep hanging on. ♪
 * (Pigeon squeaking)
 * Ricky Fante: ♪ Mm-hmm! 'Cause it don't matter what you're made of! ♪
 * Man 8: Hey!
 * Ricky Fante: ♪ Believe in yourself and keep your head up, yeah! Don't you know that you can shine, shine! Shine, it's groovy! You will shine, shine, shine! Shine! And together we will shine! Oh, shine! Shine, ooh! Ooh! ♪
 * (chomps, burps)
 * Ricky Fante: ♪ Mmm, ooh, ooh... ♪
 * Patron: Swan!
 * (Pigeon shrieks)
 * Logan: Patron!
 * Patron: What the...?
 * Luke: Oh, that... My son made it.
 * Patron: What are you doing?
 * Logan: Patron, please! You're making it nervous.
 * Patron: It's wrecking your kitchen! I'll stop you.
 * Logan: No!
 * (grunting)
 * Patron: (coughs) Your son, right?
 * Logan: It's not my fault. He is nothing to do it.
 * Luke: Yes, sir, he's a brilliant boy, an inventor.
 * (squeaks)
 * Patron: You, clean up this mess. Get out of here! Inventor! You're under arrest son of a dishwasher, and that's all you'll ever be! Somebody scrape this crud off of me. And serve it to the customers.