Doom Patrol On A Roll (New Age)/Issue 1

Transcript
The issue begins with Casey Brinke in a strange room that is all white. Suddenly a man in a wheelchair rolls in. He drops down a comic book as it says "Space Case" and the person on the cover is Casey.
 * Casey: Where the hell am I? Who the hell are you?
 * ???: No worries Ms. Brinke all of your questions will be explained.
 * Casey: How do you know my last name?
 * ???: That is a question I will answer too. My name is Niles Caulder but most people call me the Chief.
 * Casey: The Chief?
 * Chief: I am a collector of sorts. I find people who are strange and odd and I recruit them to be heroes.
 * Casey: You must have me confused. I am normal in any way possible.
 * Chief: Oh really?
 * Casey: So someone wrote a comic that miraculously had someone who looked like me.
 * Chief: No. That is you. You are a comic book character.
 * Casey: You're crazy!
 * Chief: You know what else is crazy? A man who can fly and lift more than one hundred pounds. Starfish that can control people by just latching into their faces. A man who can run faster than the speed of sound. This universe is already crazy enough that I lost my belief in something not crazy.
 * Casey: If I am a comic book character. Then who created me?
 * Chief: A sentient street who is currently MIA.
 * Casey: So you are saying that I am a comic book character created by a talking street?
 * Chief: And I want you to be a superhero.
 * Casey: What?! I don't have-

Suddenly she fires a bolt of electricity due to her anger.


 * Casey: (in shock) Superpowers...
 * Chief: You were saying?
 * Casey: M-maybe you're right. This is too weird so me being a comic book character might explain my sudden ability to fire electricity.
 * Chief: I think it's time for you to meet your teammates.
 * Casey: Teammates?

Chief whistles as four strange people walk up.


 * Chief: Introduce yourselves.
 * Robotman: My name is Cliff Steele aka Robotman. I used to be a race car driver until my body got destroyed and I got placed in this body.
 * Negative Man: I am Larry Trainor aka Negative Man. I used to be a skilled pilot until my body became negative energy.
 * Elastigirl: My name is Rita Farr but you can call me Elastigirl. I was once an actress but a volcano's mystic gasses made me able to stretch my body.
 * Mento: And I am Steve Dayton aka-
 * Casey: Let me guess Helmet Man and your face got burned so you have to wear a helmet to cover your disfigurement.
 * Mento: Let me finish! Anyways my hero name is Mento and why I wear this helmet is because it gives me powers. I don't have any tragic backstory or anything.
 * Casey: Oh... I assumed because everyone else has these tragic backstories about how they can't live a normal life again.
 * Mento: It's fine kid. Besides why would I want to leave Rita?
 * Elastigirl: Awww, Steve...
 * Casey: This is awkward...
 * Negative Man: No worries kiddo, you'll get used to it.
 * Casey: I'm 23... (realizing) Crap! I never introduced myself! Well my name is Casey Brinke and apparently I am a comic book character.
 * Robotman: The Chief told us about you Casey.
 * Casey: He did?
 * Chief: I did.
 * Casey: Oh. Sorry!
 * Negative Man: No need to be apologetic bud.
 * Casey: I don't even know who you are.
 * Negative Man: My name is-
 * Casey: Bad phrasing! I mean I only just met you.
 * Negative Man: Phew!
 * Chief: Anyways Ms. Brinke, welcome to the Doom Patrol.
 * Casey: As in the Legion of Doom?
 * Chief: No. They actually stole the Doom part from us. We were made like three months before the Legion of Doom.
 * Robotman: (to Casey) Yeah, don't mention the Legion of Doom to the Chief.
 * Casey: Got it!
 * Chief: Trying this again. Ms. Brinke. Welcome to the Doom Patrol!

It cuts to a US Military base as a soldier runs to General Wade Eiling.


 * Eiling: What is it rookie?
 * Soldier: Lt. Scheffer, sir. I think the effects of that shrapnel bomb is doing something to him.
 * Eiling: What the hell do you mean?
 * Soldier: Follow me.

They do as they see Scheffer tied up as he looks like a monster made out of shrapnel.


 * Eiling: That's not Scheffer.
 * Soldier: It is.
 * Scheffer: G-g-general, help me.
 * Eiling: Get this freak out of my sight.
 * Soldier: To where?
 * Eiling: Drop him in the ocean or something. I just never want to see this Shrapnel freak again.
 * Scheffer: Y-y-y-you're not helping me?
 * Eiling: I am helping you. By having them put you out of your misery.
 * Scheffer: I don't want to die! Don't kill me! Please!

A bunch of soldiers carry Scheffer off.