The Coleman Family Into the Crossverse/Transcript

(At the construction site, Larry and his friends are doing work while chatting.)

Larry: Anyone want a beer after work?

Wyatt: You know I'm always up for a beer.

Jose: Si, me too.

Larry: How about you, Chen?

Chen: Yeah, I can grab a couple beers after work.

Larry: Great, the wife and kids will be out.

Chen: How did you get a free evening?

Larry: We're going to a school play.

Wyatt: Lucky you for dodging that.

Coleman Residence

(Larry comes home from the bar.)

Yolanda: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WHY WERE YOU NOT AT THE SCHOOL PLAY?!

Larry: What are you talking about? I went for beer with the guys after work because you and the kids are gonna be out.

Yolanda: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH US, DUMMY! When I said the kids have a school play, that means you have to go too! Not go to have a good time with your buddies!

Larry: I'm sorry. I thought when you said the kids have a school play, I thought you meant you were taking the kids.

Yolanda: Why would I want to sit through that by myself? If I have to go, you have to go! Now, since you have a old time with your friends while I was sitting through some boring school play, I guess that means I got to go. Have a good time while you watch your children.

Larry: Uhhh...

Yolanda: You can just close your bottom lip right now. It's happening.

Larry; But Yolanda, I'm sorry.

Yolanda: Yeah, you are sorry. *walks away* Sorry ass.

Nancy Reagan School

(The students are eating lunch.)

Darrel: I want to go to the movies this weekend.

Calvin: Yeah, we could go see that, uh, new action movie!

Darius: Yeah, I wanna see that too!

Darrel: Let's to make it happen Saturday after noon. Who's in?

(All of them raise their hands, expect for Toshi.)

Darrel: Toshi, you wanna go?

Toshi: I want to, but my parents are making me go to some dinner with them. We have family visiting.

Darrel: I hear ya, man. Maybe next time.

Stuart, Rick, Elliott: *approaches the boys*

Stuart: Oh, look, it's the Nerd Herd.

Darrel: *rolls his eyes* What do you guys want?

Elliott: Oh, I'm sensing a little attitude, Coleman.

Darrel: I'm surprised you're sensing anything over the smell of your breath.

Elliott: You're gonna pay for that. *punches the table*

Mr. Stevens: Everything okay here, gentlemen?

Darius: Everything's great, Mr. Stevens. These three are just leaving.

Mr. Stevens: Very well. Keep moving, gentlemen.

Hallways

(The boys are walking down the hallways until they notice a poster of Earthling vs. Predator.)

Darrel: What is that? Is that a movie?

Ronny: It appears to be... *gasps in horror* A mockbuster.

Pablo: What's a mockbuster?

Ronny: A copy of media.

Pablo: Why are you so scared?

Ronny: Mockbusters are very disturbing.

Meanwhile

Anchorwoman: Local teenager reports mockbuster sighting. The mockbuster is unconfirmed at this time.

(A bullet hits the TV. We then see a cartoon crow wearing a fedora hat and a trench coat.)

Clint Crow: Earthling vs. Predator is confirmed. Time to watch Arkansas Smith. *inserts the DVD*

Werebbid: *barges into the room*

Clint Crow: *sighs in annoyance* Not now!

Werebbid: *in gibberish* The Police-Agency is... after us!

Clint Crow: Those fools. When will they learn? They will never catch Clint Crow!

Werebbid: *in gibberish* Also, this, uh, Ronny guy belongs to a black guy named Darrel Coleman.

Clint Crow: Isn't that a cooler?

Werebbid: *shakes his head, then shows Clint a picture of Darrel*

Clint Crow: He looks like just a kid. Why does it have to do with that?

Werebbid: *in gibberish* He's a popular athlete.

Clint Crow: Popular, eh? We'll see about this. *chuckles evilly*

Wyatt's Trailer

(Larry and the guys are drinking beer.)

Chen: There's nothing like a cold beer after a long day at work.

Wyatt: You got that right.

Larry: Today was a doozy. *drinks his beer* So, what are we going to do today?

Jose: We could shoot some pool.

Wyatt: I'm too tired to go out, we can just drink some beers and grill some meats.

Chen: Don't you have a dart board?

Wyatt: Yeah, I do.

Larry: Yeah, we can drink some beers, grill some meets, and throw some darts.

30 minutes later

(Larry, Chen, Jose and Wyatt are eating pizza and watching a NASCAR race.)

Jose: Well, that didn't go as planned.

Wyatt: We're still drinking beers and eating food, aren't we?

Larry: He's got a point. Any ideas?

Chen: I'm gonna have to get home before too long or I'm gonna be in the dog house.

Larry: What dog house?

Chen: My wife has been getting upset about me going so much after work.

Larry: Jose?

Jose: I told you I wanted to play pool.

Larry: Wyatt?

Wyatt: Fine. We can go play pool, I know Chen have to leave. Larry, you in?

Larry: I better head home too.

Larry and Chen: *leaves*

Wyatt: No farting in my truck.

Jose: I'll try my best, but no promises.

(As Larry drove down the road, he notices a sign saying "Ficville".)

Larry: *gets out of the car and walks over to the sign* WTF is Ficville? Wait. It means... a vacation.

Coleman Residence

(The family are having a meeting.)

Larry: Coleman family, we are going on vacation!

Yolanda: That's wonderful, Larry!

Lucille: Don't be too excited. We don't what he's taking us yet.

Larry: Now, now, be nice. Today, we are going to... *pulls out the sign* ...Ficville.

Colemans: What is Ficville?

Larry: It takes a long time to explain. So, pack up your things!

Bert: Okay, you heard him.

(The Colemans start packing up and get in a RV. Then, a honk came from a pickup truck.)

Larry: What are you guys doing here?

Wyatt: We wanted to have fun have some too.

Larry: Okay.

(Then the two vehicles drive off. They drive hundreds of miles.)

Yolanda: Are we ever gonna get there?

Larry: We're almost there.

Bert; Almost doesn't mean anything.

Darrel: Exactly.

Chen: We are these Colemans going? We've driving forever.

Jose: If we don't get there soon, I'm gonna poop my pants.

Wyatt: There are things called rest areas, Jose. Let me flag, Larry. *waves out the window* Jose's gonna poop!

Larry: There's a rest area up ahead.

Wyatt: Thank goodness, Jose's gonna blow.

Chen: Jose, I thought we told you to stay away from the beans.

Jose: I didn't eat any beans, I have some pork tamales.

Chen: That's not any better.

Rest area

(The three guys are standing outside while Jose is still in the bathroom.)

Larry: It's not much further.

Yolanda: YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, LARRY COLEMAN!

Larry: We'll be there in 45 minutes!

Yolanda: Whatever! You better take me out for a nice dinner when we get there!

Larry: Yes, dear.

(Jose comes out of the bathroom and get in their vehicles, then continue driving. Suddenly, a cartoon bird hits the RV. The bird slowly falls down. They got out.)

Larry: Oh my God... I killed a bird!

Cartoon Bird: I'm not dead, just gimmie a minute. *stands up, straightens himself out.* Ah, that's better. *flies away*

Larry: What the...!?

(Larry looks at the sign saying "Welcome to Ficville".)

Larry: See, I told you we're almost there!

Wyatt: Larry, what kind of place is this?

Larry: It's called "Ficville".

Wyatt: Well, I can see that, but that was a talking bird. So, like I said, what kind of place is this?

Larry: I guess we should go find out.

(With that, the two vehicles drove into town. They stop at a camp ground. The Colemans, Chen, Jose and Wyatt got out.)

Aisha: Me and Antonne are gonna go look around.

Antonne and Aisha: *runs off*

Lucille: *runs after them* You better cause any trouble, or I'm gonna cane your hides!

Larry: *sees Beavis and Butt-Head* Hello. Uh, do you boys live in Ficville.

Butt-Head: Uh, are you like a pervert or something?

Larry: *gasps* No! My family and I are here for vacation! Just trying to figure out things to do.

Beavis: He looks like a pervert.

Chen: He's not a pervert, he's a family man!

Butt-Head: Uh huh huh. You said "Family Guy".

Wyatt: Family Guy? You mean that dumbass fatman Peter Griffin?

Beavis: Yeah, yeah, aren't you his black friend?

Chen: I think we should move away from these idiots.

Larry, Chen, Jose, Wyatt: *moves away from Beavis and Butt-Head and walks down the sidewalk*

Yolanda: You better be going to find someplace to take me to dinner!

Wyatt: This place is wild.

Larry: It sure is. I bet there's some interesting things see and do.

Larry, Chen, Jose, Wyatt: *looks around the town*

Jose: *farts*

Jay: Oh my God! Was that sewer that came out of your ass!?

Larry: As much as I want to defend you, my friend Jose, that tall skinny guy has a point.

Chen: We need to get you to a doctor.

Wyatt: Or an exorcist.

Jay: What exorcist?

Wyatt: For his ass demons.

Jay and Silent Bob: *looks at each other*

Jay: I wouldn't be surprised with that smell.

Silent Bob: *nods*

Jay: I haven't seen you guys around here before.

Larry: We're here on vacation.

Jay: That's cool. You guys looking to score some bud?

Larry: W-W-What?

Jay: You know, Mary Jane. Reefer. The Devil's Lettuce. Weed. Smoke. 420. Dank. Nugs. Y'know, weed.

Larry: No thank you.

Jay: Suit yourself.