Little Audrey (1956, Pre-Origin Story) (Nostalgia Critic)



(Channel Awesome logo is shown. The NC intro is shown. After the intro, NC sitting in his desk)

NC: Hello, I'm Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. It's no secret that films have had a bit of a checkered past.

(Cut to a montage of clips of scenes in movie: Casper...)

Casper: Hi? (as Kat faints)

(...Casper: A Spirited Beginning...)

(a girl screams, Casper plug his ears)

(...Sad Sack [1957])

(Jerry Lewis as Sad Sack, he salutes with Maj. Shelton)

Maj. Shelton: Go away.

(Back to the Critic)

NC: Pretty good and bad, apparently. But the one film that everyone agrees is--

Voice: Sigh...

NC: (looking around) Hello?

(We then cut to Don Birnam (also played by Doug Walker) wearing a beret and holding a glass of something-or-other in one hand and a Little Audrey's magazine in the other. Miklos Roszas' "The Lost Weekend" plays in the background)

Don Birnam: Sigh...

NC: Why, do you have something to say, real estate of Ray Milland?!

Don Birnam: Oh, I was just hallucinating at the misfortune that you have to review that god-awful animated pre-origin story of Little Audrey.

NC: The pre-origin story? Well, I mean...

(Cut to the clips "Harvey Girls Forever!" on Netflix)

NC (vo): ...I've talked about it before in the future...

NC: ...and even though I do like the films more, I do think there's a lot of good and bad things about it.

Don Birnam: No, there's not.

NC: Well, I'm sorry it did nothing for you, but I actually got quite a bit out of it.

Don Birnam: (smugly) No, you didn't.

NC: Golly, how do you know what I got out of it?

(Cut to the Africa-American man, Uncle Remus (played by Malcolm).)

Uncle Remus: Because no self-censorship fan would enjoy something so beneath us.

NC: Oh, is that so, self-censorship fan? Oh, your parents give you weird names.

Uncle Remus: Yes, we rewarded this film and wanted to congratulate you for shown them.

NC: Look, I know this film isn't that beloved, but honestly, I think it gets way too much love and hate.

Uncle Remus: Eh?

Don Birnam: That's what Casper said.

Uncle Remus: I hope you mean that ironically.

NC: No, I legit really like this film.

Don Birnam: Are you not aware of the masterpieces that are the Paramount cartoons?

Uncle Remus: Though, wait, are we at the point where we like them yet?

Don Birnam: No, we have to wait for one more project (A shot of a news article is shown in the corner, announcing Little Audrey's reboot coming to Peacock) and then we can say we always thought they were overrated.

Uncle Remus: Ah.

NC: Okay, I know a lot of people make fun of this movie, especially after the Netflix's Harvey Girls came out, but I still think there's a lot to praise about it.

Uncle Remus: Nope, there's nothing.

NC: Not one thing, huh?

Don Birnam: It's just a worst film by a worst makers who does under Freak-out cinema or self-racism content.

-

(Little Audrey notices at her bird becomes a chocolate in her mind; when she tries to grab it from the opened window, the bird flies about the room. When the shadow of Timothew on the wall transforms into that of a monstrous dragon that cloaks the room in darkness...)

NC (vo): It looks like they got back shot-to-shot between (as a shot of...) Butterscotch and Soda, but Little Audrey tries to bite Timothew, he flies inside my room and she realizes him a friend; and, Jesus, look how he's turned into a bad-ass dragon coming back from!

(The darkness then shifts to that of Audrey's open, screaming mouth, as the camera pulls back to reveal the little girl gripping the wall, and further pulls back as she continues to scream, with the girl tiny against the tremendous walls of her room...)

NC: This is how a Zemeckis movie concludes!

-

Peppy Grasshopper (Rob): Well, hello, Critic.

-

NC: Now you've done it, Peppy! This fucking movie is awful!

Peppy Grasshopper: Sorry, Critic. You didn't have any review this one! (goofy laughter and shrugs; blows his candle; then at offscreen in a black background singing, channeling Happy Birthdaze from "Popeye") Screw this movie, fuck this shit! Better watch out! You bullshit! Fuck this mo--

(in a black background when a sledgehammer slam goes off as the indication that Nostalgia Critic may have killed Peppy Grasshopper, including the "THE UN-BITTER END" text appears zoom in and fades out)

''This article is a fan stub. You can help Idea's Channel Awesome by expanding it.''