The Lifetime of the Avirams

The Lifetime of the Avirams is a graphic novel that focuses on the trials and tribulations of a Jewish family and their friends, acquaintances, and enemies. It features historical figures and fictional characters in small roles and is set from the late 19th century to the early 20th century. It has a radio and film adaptation which features many songs but is not considered a musical and has spawned three television spinoffs.

Movie Trailer Script

 * Your favorite historical figures and fictional characters are back, but they're in a world where they are held accountable for their actions. Through the lens of one boy who knows the truth.....
 * "Leave My Cat Alone!"
 * "MOM!!! DEAN WANTS TO ASK ME TO MARRY HIM!!! AND HE'S ONLY 10!"
 * "YOUR RED COAT! THE BULL IS CHASING YOUR RED COAT! TAKE IT OFF!"
 * "Jason, if you've mastered whistling, you need to work on sensitivity."
 * "Oh stop. Darren stop!"
 * "Darren no!"
 * "Ugh, that whistling!"
 * "Jason stop!"
 * "Yogi shut up!"
 * "Ouch!"
 * "Darren, knock it off!"
 * "PUT HER DOWN!"
 * "Takkies, where are you?"
 * "Snort, hey, what's that sound, all the oxen are in the ground!"
 * "I don't perceive life as unfair, for all the bad things I've dealt with, and neither should you. It has given me the opportunity to be with the people I love, be with a caring family and meet you."
 * "Don't ever say that, you know how much I care about you, and besides, I'll always be with you, a piece of me will always live inside you."
 * "Why would it be frightening? Were you frightened before you were born? You don't remember anything before your birth, that's how peaceful death is."
 * "Promise me that you won't hurt yourself after I die. I love you too much for me to be the cause of your suffering."
 * "Buddy, I know you're still devastated from Passion's deadly murder last week, but where are all the oxen at?"
 * "Do you seriously believe him? Fast Tony would trade his own mother for a fig!"
 * "Really, Lord Farquaad? He's a terrible person!"
 * "Oh, you're beautiful!"
 * "Ugh, that Chick Hicks! He will do ANYTHING it takes to win!"
 * "Here you go Mr. Aviram and Mrs. Tilly, I think that your daughter is ready to meet you now."
 * "Jason, I don't think it is the songs that he doesn't like. It's just the subject of the songs that upset him."
 * "Dean, I think you're cute, but I can't be with you, you're just too young."
 * "Dean, I think you're adorable, but we can't be together, I'm older than you by two years."
 * "There's a trope for this."
 * "MY WATER JUST BROKE!"
 * "What's with the mess on the floor?"
 * "THIS IS REALLY NOT FUNNY!"
 * "THAT'S MESSED UP!"
 * "She's Dean's best friend. He ADORES her."
 * "Dean, what are you looking at me with the puppy dog eyes for!?"
 * "Are you okay? It's a shame that it's not Christmas because if it was I'd call you James the Red Nosed Engine."
 * "Dean, this is Katara."
 * "Ooh, something fishy in here.."
 * "That is the best way to get your mind off those seven little mares."
 * "Think positive, Dean."
 * "Jason, please, no whistling!"
 * "Jason, you can only whistle with your hand over your mouth."
 * "Dean, here's Kairi."
 * "One, two, three, WAKE UP JEFF!!!"
 * "BANANA!!!"
 * "AAAAAAHHHHH!"
 * "This reminds me of my great Uncle Robert."
 * "Oh Jeepers Creepers, there can't be anything worse happening at this park today."
 * "This is my GREATEST STUNT!"
 * "Ow, I think I broke my wing!"
 * "Dean, a bunny can call another bunny cute, but when you do it it's kinda creepy."
 * "KITTY!"
 * "One, one irritated person, two, two irritated people, ahahaha!"
 * "I remember the first time I met those pests, they nearly made my eyes pop out, Edward soon put a halt to their fun and games."
 * "I used to be a firetruck/daredevil/fight bulldozers/drift racer/saw a UFO/rock star/monster truck wrestler/astronaut/private detective/secret agent/stunt pilot/be part of a demolition derby."
 * "MATER, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!"
 * "No si credo!"
 * "How are you doing, cupcake?"
 * "Okie dokie lokie!"
 * "It's Little Apple!"
 * "Why are fish so smart? It's because they swim in schools! Wocka wocka!"
 * "I'll have the b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-a-a-I'll just have a steak."
 * "LEAVE MONTANA!"
 * "That is not funny!"
 * "Schiaretta, I'll stab you in the neck with my pen if you don't stop talking!"
 * "I will stab your eye out with a rusty spoon!"
 * "Curse you Perry the Platypus!"
 * "You do not say hung, you say hanged, it's I hung the picture, not I hung the person! It's hanged!"
 * "Dean, why are you comparing me to people I don't even know!? I mean, like Charlotte, Sally, Joy, Judy, Sarah, Penny, Anna, Jasmine, those are common girls names!"
 * "Where's the boy?"
 * "Thelonious, bring and kill the princess for me!"
 * "Guards, take the ugly ogre, his talky donkey, the Spaniard cat, the gingerbread man cookie, the lying possessed wooden toy puppet, the tiny blind mice, the gender confused wolf, the little German pigs, the tranny stepsister, and the rest of those fairytale freaks to be killed, a horrible fate!"
 * "Bad news, The Swedish Chef, Bunsen, Beaker, Sam, Rizzo, Pepe, and the rest of the gang have all been MURDERED!"
 * "I don't know if it was the same person who killed Fozzie, Statler, or Waldorf, I'm too scared to find out."
 * "Walter's in Heaven now, singing a happy song with Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, and their many friends and relatives."
 * "Hey Stickers, hi little one, I'm glad to see you two."
 * "I've been better. Guess I drove too much this time."
 * "Because I know you, and I know how much racing and researching mean to both of you. Besides, I didn't think that what I caught was going to be so severe. I thought that if I got plenty of rest and took it easy, it would go away. That turned out to be a bad idea."
 * "Seeing as how I don't have much time left, I have one last request to ask of you."
 * "Stickers, I want you to keep on racing to your heart's content and little one, I hope that someday you'll find someone that will understand your love of researching."
 * "I want you to be happy. So promise that you will find a nice girl that will love you in the future."
 * "I know you will get far, you two. Keep enjoying your lives."
 * "Stickers, can you say your catchphrase for me one more time."
 * "Thanks, Stickers. Take care of yourself and look out for everyone, especially Mater. And little one, I know that you have a great future ahead of you and look out for your family."
 * "Mater?"
 * "Oh morning, Doc. Ya need anything?"
 * "Yes. Have you seen Hot Rod anywhere? It seems he's gone."
 * "Uh no. Not since last week. He drove off somewhere but I haven't seen him since."
 * "This is not good."
 * "Doc, ya don't think ma buddy would...""We better hope not, for all our sakes and his. Come on, let's start looking for him. We better fill up at Flo's and ask Sheriff for help. Mack, take care of the little one."
 * "Uh, the kid's still upset that Sally drove into the dust. He's just inconsolable."
 * "I understand how he feels and I hope he moves on with his life. If he asks where we went Mack, tell him we had to do something important."
 * "Hope you have good luck finding Lightning. He's got a race coming up soon. Tell him that he needs to start practicing or Harv will go crazy!"
 * "Oh great. Now let's go find that rookie before he does something stupid."
 * "I'm sorry, what?"
 * "Guido is wondering if you had any luck in finding Lightning."
 * "No, I have no idea where that racecar is."
 * "Oh well. Maybe Mater has had better luck. The Sheriff just got back and he said he couldn't find him either."
 * "We better hope so. If I ever find that hot rod, I'm going to have to give him a good talking to."
 * "Deve essersi sentito terribile quando Sally aveva passatto."
 * "Guido is right. Lightning is grieving because Sally is no longer here. You must understand that it is hard for him and the little boy."
 * "I know. It's hard for all of us. However, that's still no excuse for him to just drive off and make us worry like this. We will not give up until we find him. We need to as soon as we can."
 * "Do you think we will, Doc?"
 * "We better hope so. Maybe Mater will turn up in a moment."
 * "Any luck, Mater?"
 * "I don't get it, Doc. I found ma buddy, and he's not moving. He's...gone."
 * "Oh no. That's just so sad and dumb of him. I know that he was upset about Sally's passing; we all are. And this is worse. A funeral should be held early tomorrow."
 * "Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today."
 * "Check it like Santa Claus! Make a list!"
 * "I said check it AGAIN!"
 * "Somebody call for an excavation expert? I'm not in the book, but I'm at your service. Gopher's the name, here's the card, what's your problem?"
 * "We could dig him or we could dynamite him!"
 * "Dynamite! We can't dynamite! It might hurt him!"
 * "Think it over. Let me know if you've changed your mind."
 * "Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka!"
 * "The championship is all mine!"
 * "Glad that the rookie is dead!"
 * "I am not coming behind you again, old man!"
 * "I hope Chick is banned from racing."
 * "I can fly!"
 * "Ohhh! It's okay, baby! Everything's okay now! Uncle Sid is here! And those mean monsters are gone. It's sad that they were eaten, but you will see Ellie and Eddie again one day, along with Crash and your family."
 * "Come on. Let's get him something to eat."
 * "Yes. Let's go. Dean needs comfort as well."
 * "Call the police!"
 * "Dean, wouldn't our life be so much better if we had a baby?"
 * "D'awwwww! You're absolutely adorable! I'm going to call you Hayden."
 * "She's perfect. That's a beautiful name."
 * "She's such a lovable baby. What will we name her?"
 * "Jennifer. We will call her Jennifer."
 * "That's a cute name."
 * "Well as it turns out, I'm secwetly evil."
 * "His/her first word! Tomer/Ezra/Shayna/Chaya just said his/her first word! It's a MIRACLE!"
 * "Ugh! You gotta make her stop! I can't take her whining anymore!!!"
 * "I'm sensing a lot of negative energy here."
 * "Dean, sing to her! That's the only way to stop her from crying!"
 * "I can't believe it! Fresh wild greens...did you ever! Go ahead dig in! A dandelion! I thought the frost wiped them all out! All but one!"
 * "Muppet Man? Is that you?"
 * "I know you killed Fozzie, didn't you. And I know you got Statler and Waldorf and the rest of the crew. But it's over!"
 * "Listen, I don't wanna resort to violence. Just come with me to the police station and you won't be-"
 * "Ha-ha! Bet you didn't see that coming!"
 * "Is that all you got?" "Look, I realize that the ones to catch and expose you will probably be the cops, but they're too busy at the mo-""The food that Earthlings call beans and rice.""Can I have a canary?""Fine I'll have salmon.""Just a salad please""Make that two and the four children will have the kid's meal.""Hot Dog""Turkey""Road Runner""Cheeseburger""Spaghetti and meatballs""WATER!""Okay then, so what will you have?""So sorry, but we don't make that here""No you can't but we do have a special today on salmon""Okay and for you two gentlemen?""Alright then so what will the drinks be?"
 * "I'M MELTING!!! I'M MELTING!!!"
 * "CHILDREN! DON'T MOCK THE CRUCIFIXION!"
 * "THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!"
 * "But innocent people could be hurt!"
 * "It will send the wrong message to children!"
 * "She doesn't have much time. It appears that she has caught something in her engine and it started to tear her from the inside. I tried everything to fix her and stop it, but it's already advanced well beyond my capabilities. If she had said something sooner, I would've probably been able to clear it away. However, she only has a few minutes to live."
 * "Sunshine daisies butter Mello turn this stupid fat rat yellow!"
 * "He's coming towards us! AAAAHHH!"
 * "Simba, this is the way your father looked just before he died."
 * "ALRIGHT BEAST, TIME TO DIE!"
 * "QUIT PLAYING IN THE MUD, YOU TWO! YOU'RE NOT PIGS!"
 * "Jay Jay!"
 * "Oh confound it, this contraption did it again!"
 * "Kill him!"
 * "That kid could turn us into fur coats!"
 * "I SAID KILL HIM!"
 * "Hi there. I'm Mr. Eidelkind's counselor. We don't use the E-X-P-L-O-S-I-O-N word or any of it's derivatives. They're trigger words."
 * "This is either the entrance to the Public library or we're in a LOT of trouble!"
 * "Go chew gum!"
 * "Put the kitty cat down please!"
 * "Oh dear! Oh my! That lunatic will ruin everything!"
 * "Simba! You deliberately disobeyed me and put Nala in danger!"
 * "But dad! Kings don't get scared of anything!"
 * "I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat anymore broccoli!"
 * "Zazu! Take Nala home! I'm going to have a word with Simba!"
 * "Of course I do! I read it in a book once! Birds, my friend, come from...THE DINOSAURS!!!!"
 * "Oh please don't ruin my dress! It took so long to make!"
 * "Lucky, you wear that dress everyday, I only wear mine when dancing with a beast!"
 * "At least you girls don't have the fear of clams in your hair!
 * "Please, I have to live with a street rat!"
 * "Ladies ladies, let's just discuss how lucky we are!"
 * "Oh, go clean up something!"
 * "Whoa whoa whoa! Dean, this feels great!"
 * "Honey, are you okay?"
 * "No, my stomach hurts."
 * "Maybe you ate too much."
 * "No, it's not that kind of pain. It feels like I have a cramp in my stomach."
 * "I think you need rest, dear."
 * "Okay, Harry."
 * "I love you.""I love you too."
 * "Harry!""Patricia? What is it, honey?"
 * "Harry, I'm really hungry. Can you please get me some food?"
 * "Okay, dear, I'll get you some food.""Thanks honey."
 * "Thanks, Harry. What are you happy about?""Patricia, you're pregnant!"
 * "Oh my goodness! I'm gonna be a mommy!""And I'm gonna be a daddy! Oh, honey, this is great!""Oh, Harry, I can't wait until I give birth to the baby!"
 * "I can't wait either!"
 * "I wonder what gender it's going to be. I really don't care what it is, though."
 * "I really hope it's a boy.""Harry!""It's just a joke, sweetheart."
 * "Oh, Harry, you're so funny!""I really can't wait to see the baby."
 * "Me too, Harry.""Are we there yet?""Yep.""Oh. Harry, it's beautiful!"
 * "Yeah, I made it really special."
 * "The baby will love it!"
 * "Harry, the baby's kicking!"
 * "That's a good sign, honey."
 * "Hello, baby. It's us, Mommy and Daddy."
 * "We can't wait to see you come out of Mommy's tummy."
 * "What is it, sweetheart?"
 * "The baby's coming!"
 * "That bad guy JUST WON'T QUIT!"
 * "I'm calling in sick!"
 * "I found another brown spot on my shoulder! It's right there! You see!?"
 * "Stop! Stop! Don't even think about it! As if last week's foolishness wasn't bad enough!"
 * "I'm done for, dears. In a while, I'll be dead."
 * "Prepare for the Apocalypse!"
 * "Doom on You!"
 * "There goes our last female!"
 * "The fact that I'm called a lady doesn't make me a girl!"
 * "Well, it's time to meet your eligible bachelorettes and HERE THEY ARE!"
 * "Well this sucks."
 * "Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."
 * "We're rebels! We're rebels! Oh yeah!"
 * "NO CAPES!"
 * "You didn't file your paperwork last night!"
 * "So I said "If you ever talk to me like that again, we're through!"
 * "What'd she say?"
 * "You know my mom! She sent me to my room!"
 * "Jacques, I said no cleaning!"
 * "Give me the plant!"
 * "I guess love is deaf too."
 * "Garbage boy!"
 * "You can't get rid of me this easily! I'll be back, and you can bet on it!"
 * "Baby horsies in the meadow! Baby horsies in the meadow! Oh no! One of them's escaping! She's heading towards town! Town rhymes with crown!"
 * "Yay! I love puppies and kittens and bunnies and flowers and rainbows! Hee hee hee hee hee!"
 * "Will you turn this disrespectful junk off!?"
 * "Respect the classics, man! It's Hendrix!"
 * "No, I'm not like other trolls. I'm different, I won't hurt the baby, I like beautiful things, like flowers."
 * "I knew it! I like you! My mommy used to tell me stories about humans before she put me to bed. But you and your two guardians are the first ones I ever met in person!"
 * "I'm gonna devour this thing!"
 * "If you don't give us that baby, we're gonna eat you!"
 * "We're gonna eat you anyway!"
 * "You don't say it, you make the deal and then you eat them anyway!"
 * "Got it. We're not gonna eat you!"
 * "Well now it's too late, don't you see that?"
 * "Snowcone? Don't worry, it's lemon."
 * "Did somebody say dynamite!?"
 * "Oh no! Nobody said dynamite!"
 * "Somebody said dynamite!"
 * "Nobody said dynamite!""There you said it again!
 * (Explosion sound effects) "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
 * "If you keep talking to yourself, people will think you're crazy!"
 * "What? I wasn't talking to you!"
 * "Leave the mammoth alone!"
 * "This is crackalackin!"
 * "Has anybody seen Flo? Flo!"
 * "I'm finished! I'm a beautiful butterfly!"
 * "I don't like confrontations!"
 * "What are you looking at, you hockey puck!?"
 * "CONGRATULATIONS SAN FRANCISCO! YOU RUINED PIZZA!"
 * "CAN I SAY THAT CURSE WORD ONE MORE TIME!?"
 * "Somebody do something!"
 * "Dogs are watchful, loyal and VERY protective!"
 * "Booooooo! Boooooooo! I hated her! I hated her! It sounded like a duck screaming! Dohohohohoho!"
 * "Whatcha doing?"
 * "STEVEN! AMETHYST!""Hey kid, I saw Nigel, he had these talons and he was like "Coming with me you little princess!?" and Jewel was like "(karate chop sound effects) I ain't your princess leave me alone!"
 * "No matter. Most likely lose it again anyway."
 * "I think we should be parents."
 * "Darren! What did I say about singing!? And keep your tongue in your mouth please!"
 * "Shhh. It's okay. Mommy's got you now."
 * "Look at mommy honey. Everything's okay."
 * "It's alright. Mommy's here."
 * "We NEVER refer to Japanese people as our little yellow friends!""Because it is a stereotype."
 * "You must NEVER refer to a woman as sexy."
 * "You must not comment on a women's body."
 * "You must NEVER refer to blondes that way!"
 * "My god, do you understand what you have done that is wrong!?"
 * "You CANNOT beat up children and call them piglets!"
 * "The world is changing so fast. You have FAILED to improve at every opportunity! You are the most SMALL-MINDED NITWIT I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED!"
 * "I need the scoop! The poop! The particulars! WHY aren't the warthog and the meerkat living with their own kind!? I understand that the warthog has a problem with stomach gas, but with the meerkat...I smell a rat."
 * "Here's Farrah! Here's Michael!"
 * "Oh no! THIS is what I hate about little kids!"
 * "Sweetheart, you're not making sense."
 * "You can't touch a child because they're toxic!"
 * "Get off my case, you little cocktail Weiners!"
 * "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!""Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!"
 * "Aaaaaahhhh! Mommy! Tree!"
 * "Well, unless you give him a blindfold, I'm gonna kick him!"
 * "I am that hero! They call me Larryboy!"
 * "Golden teeth and golden tones, welcome to my presence!"
 * "Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
 * "What are those Neanderthals up to!? Don't they know I'm busy spoiling myself!?"
 * "Sorry, my stomach hates me."
 * "09 was the worst year...ever in our history! It makes 08 look good...really good! Yeah! I can't believe...Our economy...Just keeps getting worse! I can't believe...The swine flu! I can't believe...Pirates in Africa! I can't believe...Obama! I can't believe...The dead celebrities! Michael Jackson, Billy Mays! I can't believe...Jett Travolta! He was so young! David Letterman...Cheated on his wife! I can't believe...Tiger Woods...Cheated on his wife! I can't believe...Jon and Kate! I can't believe...Octomom! I can't believe...Michael Vick's back! I can't believe...The Balloon Boy! I can't believe...My dog died! 2009 really stunk! I'm so glad it's over! I'm so happy! The year is over! That year really stunk! What can I say!? Hopefully 2010 will be better!"
 * "Yo, Sir, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but 2006 was the best year of all time!"
 * "You know what? For once, I agree with Kanye West!"
 * "All hail the New York Giants!"
 * "20% cooler in 10 seconds flat!"
 * "Here I come! Ta-da!"
 * "Phenomenal cosmic power itty bitty living space!"
 * "Thank you come again!"
 * "Squirrel!"
 * "Anyone can cook."
 * "D'oh!"
 * "Oh no! Aaaaaahhhh!"
 * "Eifo Doctor Dolittle?"
 * "He's not on my nice list!"
 * "He's gone?"
 * "What are we gonna do about the child!?"
 * "I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince Abooboo!"
 * "Bee!"
 * "Hey! Dum Dum!"
 * "You give me gum gum!"
 * "You're name's Dum Dum, you give me Gum Gum!"
 * "No, you're name's Dum Dum!"
 * "Oh you're in trouble Dum Dum, you better run run, from Attila the Hun Hun!"
 * "See you later Dum Dum!"
 * "Great Scott!"
 * "He IS dead."
 * "Mee mee mee mee"
 * "Nothing here but a deceased green amphibian."
 * "What is it doggy man?"
 * "It's...It's Kermit."
 * "Like what's wrong Rowlf?"
 * "What about Kermit?"
 * "It's probably nothing. He probably just flew off to Hollywood!"
 * "No. He's Gone.""Gone where?"
 * "To the tailor!"
 * "Nonsense! Mr. Kermit always brings me his sewing needs!"
 * "Maybe he was abducted by aliens!"
 * "Man, you're insane!"
 * "He probably just needed to listen to some groovy tunes so he can relax."
 * "NO! HE'S GONE! GONE FOREVER!"
 * "Forever?"
 * "Gone..."
 * "Forever...""Well...what do we do now?"
 * "This bear is too large. This bear is too small. This bear is just right. Kill her!"
 * "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"
 * "Not the Wuxi Finger Hold!"
 * "It's broccoli!"
 * "It's Zazu, I found him injured by a hole."
 * "I will try, but I cannot promise you anything. He has lost a lot of blood, and I believe one of his wings is broken."
 * "I am afraid that I tried everything to save him, every remedy I could think of, but it did no good. Zazu passed away a few hours before the sun rose."
 * "This is unacceptable. We cannot have nine year olds working in ACME sweatshops when three year olds work for so much less."
 * "But they require naps, sir".
 * "Put double espresso in their sippy cups."
 * "Ha ha! He said nice day, but he's covered with rain!"
 * "I told you I've seen everything fly! I've seen a dragon fly and I've seen a horse fly, but I doubt I'll ever see that duck fly!"
 * "Impostore!"
 * "What color are their hands now?"
 * "You're not on my guest list or in my VIP area!"
 * "You have caused confusion and delay!"
 * "On Good Friday night I was killed!"
 * Booth! A guy named Booth!"
 * "No! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!"
 * "What!?"
 * "I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy."
 * "In my ninth life I was the great cat burglar of Compostella!"
 * "I can see! I can see! Ow! Oh, never mind!"
 * "Lord Farquaad! He huffed and he puffed and he signed an eviction notice!"
 * "Hey! Why the long face!?"
 * "We can stay up late, swapping scary stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!"
 * "This is what you deserve, foul beast!"
 * "Hey! Who are you!?"
 * "Hey wait for me! I want to come too!"
 * "Oh please, Mr. Suggs, what are you doing!?"
 * "Making beautiful music!"
 * "These adorable little creatures are alive and you're hitting them!"
 * "Of course they are alive! You cannot make music by hitting DEAD creatures!"
 * "But that's cruel!"
 * "What you've done is completely out of order! It's not right for anyone to be dressed as that evil man, let alone a child!"
 * "You are a disgrace to this school! You always choose the most vulgar, tasteless costumes for your class's talent show! I'm shocked and appalled!"
 * "Andale, andale! Arriba, arriba!"
 * "Mais Oui."
 * "I like em big, I like em chunky!"
 * "I say boy, that was a joke son!"
 * "Don't drive like my brother! And don't drive like my brother!"
 * "Call me Dotty and you'll die!"
 * "Hello Nurse!"
 * "Googley Bear!"
 * "I'm a mongoose!"
 * "Ladies and gentlemen, and now we're ready to go boom-a boom-a!"
 * "Apples, apples, apples!"
 * "Do you want to stay for brunch?"
 * "Eeyup!"
 * "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
 * "That's my babies! That's my babies!"
 * "I hear Tom Wolfe is speaking at Lincoln Center. Well of course we're going to throw poo at him!"
 * "If you have any poo, fling it now!"
 * "He should be sent to the moon!"
 * "Eat my shorts!"
 * "Hey Mrs. Flynn."
 * "No, Aang!"
 * "Sora, you came for me!"
 * "No relation!"
 * "Spew!"
 * "To infinity and beyond!"
 * "Ooooohhhh! The Claw!"
 * "Let's move move move move move!"
 * "Allonsy!"
 * "I'm gonna go right in your ear!"
 * "R-E-N-O. That spells Reno."
 * "I have an important case to prepare for. The park will have to come later."
 * "It always has to be later! Why can't we ever do what I wanna do! I wanna do what I wanna do!"
 * "Your father works very hard to make our life nice, you know."
 * "I'm unable to tie those doggone shoes!"
 * "Okay, Orchestra. It's time for your solo. Have you looked over the music?"
 * "Awww! You're such a cute little thing! You're finally here!"
 * "Her name is Mary. Mary Gibbs."
 * "Sue, I hope you have a happy, joyful life with the baby. I'll always be watching over you."
 * "We'll show them what happens when they mess with sabers."
 * "Johnny Fiamma coming through! Make way for Johnny Fiamma!"
 * "Hey Moby!"
 * "Ninja Skills!"
 * "How dare you defy me!"
 * "Here's your little bundle of joy!"
 * "Mumble, you're embarrassing me."
 * "Fire! Fire!"
 * "I know someone who can help!"
 * "If you say your mom one more time, you're fired!"
 * "MY MOM!"
 * "YOU'RE FIRED!"
 * "Oh, Merry Men!"
 * "Songbirds sing! Saloon gals sing! Itty bitty snot nosed children sing! I YODEL! AND YODELING IS AN ART!"
 * "Oh, Spikey-Wikey."
 * "Read? No, we don't really do much reading."
 * "You did not feel it in here!"
 * "Brian look out! No Brian!"
 * "You've given me a wonderful life. I love you all."
 * "DISGRACEFUL!"
 * "DISGUSTING!"
 * "DESPICABLE! We cannot allow it!"
 * "What's that!?"
 * "Probably the wind!"
 * "Och, it's Thomas! C'mon, the poor wee engine must be frozen to the flames in there!"
 * "Bork bork bork!"
 * "No, not the dip!"
 * "Turn to the person or penguin next to you and give him or her a great big hug!"
 * "I'm not fat! It's this fur! It makes me look big! It's poofy!"
 * "Muahahahahahaha! Now that's a maniacal laugh for you!"
 * "Huh?"
 * "There's a lot of different ways to say hello. In Italian, Ciao!"
 * "In French, Bonjour!"
 * "In Japanese you say, Konichiwa!"
 * "In Hebrew, Shalom means hello. It also means goodbye and it also means peace. So Shalom Aleichem, everybody!"
 * "I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.
 * "Woo hoo! Woo hoo! I'm the twirly king of Woo hoo!"
 * "It's okay, it's fine. I'm here."
 * "Here's what I think happened, Dinosaur attacks boy, boy fights back with broccoli, leaving Dinosaur... a vegetable!"
 * "Theory two, boy's eating broccoli! Dinosaur eats boy! Dinosaur steps on broccoli, leaving broccoli, a vegetable!"
 * "That's called cow tipping! Ha ha ha!"
 * "Max! Max, where are you?"
 * "Twiddle dee dee! Twiddle dee dee! They're running out! They're running out! They're running out of batteries! Ha ha ha ha! No batteries!"
 * "Breebop! Hi everybody!"
 * "Hello there I (snores)"
 * "Finders keepers, dude!"
 * "Wahooo!"
 * "How nice! Dessert! Swim to shore! My sweet tooth calls!
 * "But you know the rules! Dinner first, then dessert!"
 * "Reach for the sky!"
 * "There's a snake in my boot!"
 * "Somebody's poisoned the waterhole!"
 * "I think I swallowed my squeaker!"
 * "Ahoy there, me hearties!"
 * "Scratch em both!"
 * "We do not eat family members!"
 * "We're banished, genius! Stuck in this wasteland without change! Oh, what a great idea going to your old pal Waternoose! Too bad he was in on the whole thing with Randall!"
 * "But Boo's in trouble! She needs our help! And so does the young boy!
 * "But he wants to save her! You're still not listening!"
 * "I'd hate to break up the staff meeting guys, but they're here! Birthday guests at 3 o'clock!"
 * "I hated this movie! Hated hated hated hated hated this movie! Hated it! Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience insulting moment of it! Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it! Hated the implied insult to to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it!"
 * "Oh Mr. Aviram! I'm gonna be an aunt! I can't wait to see the baby!"
 * "It's really embarrassing, you feel unclean as you're sitting there, it's junk! First class junk!"
 * "It's go time!"
 * "All clear!"
 * "I'm done with that scurvy Prince John!"
 * "Ogres don't live happily ever after!"
 * "Man is here! We must dig out!"
 * "Quick, the thicket!"
 * "Uh uh uh Pound Cake! No pounding things!"
 * "You don't get the pot of gold! I get the pot of gold!"
 * "Ooooh! Sausage gravy!"
 * "Huh!"
 * "This domain is for circus animals only!"
 * "Aaaaaahh! Germs!"
 * "Grab shell dude!"
 * "Back from where?"
 * "Zoinks!"
 * "Scar! Brother, help me!"
 * "Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey!"
 * "Stay out of the kitchen and away from the humans! It's dangerous! Now shut up and eat your garbage!"
 * "So long boys! I'll send you a postcard from Paradise Falls!"
 * "Do you want to join the circus?"
 * "You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful."
 * "Lightbulb!"
 * "It's a terrible thing! Everybody loved Frankie! May whoever did this die a thousand painful deaths! May his stinking maggot covered corpse rot in the fiery depths of hell!"
 * "Thank you for your kind thoughts."
 * "He's lighting it! He's lighting it! Hit the dirt!"
 * "Silly old bear."
 * "Lyndon B. Johnson"
 * "Obama who?"
 * "I get a lot of surprises!"
 * "The guy from California? No way!"
 * "Who is he?"
 * "Who is that?"
 * "The actor?"
 * "Who's he?"
 * "Well maybe there's a Clinton in my neighborhood."
 * "Who in the world is he?"
 * "Sweetheart, I have a surprise for you!"
 * "That breeze feels good."
 * "HHHEEEELLLLLLPPPP!"
 * "You know I'm mostly cotton candy. But shape-wise, I'm part cat, part elephant, and part dolphin."
 * "You gotta remember: when you were three, animals were all the rage. The cow goes moo. The horse goes neigh. That's all people talked about back then."
 * "Wait! Where's Chuck?"
 * "We did not die today!"
 * "Humbug!"
 * "Usher? Is there an usher?"
 * "We're not cows! We're oxen!"
 * "Feast your eyes!"
 * "ALLLVVVVIIINNNN!"
 * "Maniacal Laugh! Maniacal Laugh!"
 * "This is the end!"
 * "This just in!"
 * "Aaaahhhhh!!! The Destroyer!"
 * "It is an honor, Signore Dorado."
 * "2319! We have a 2319!"
 * "Freeze!"
 * "Where did he go!?"
 * "I wonder where my class has gone!"
 * "Get out of my chair, Meathead!"
 * "Leave the lights on!"
 * "Exterminate! Exterminate!"
 * "My mom used to sing it to me when I was really little. She wrote it while I was in her belly."
 * "My mom sang it to me when I was a baby. She made it up when I was in her stomach."
 * "Ladies and gentlemen. Don't be a fool. No siree. Here's how to live to be 103. Always let your conscience be your guide. I will demonstrate this advice now. Savor your youth and beauty, because wicked queens, mean stepsisters and evil witches will try to steal them from you every time. That reminds me. Don't eat apples unless you know where they came from. Avoid anyone who has a fiendish cackle, a sinister smile, and a diabolical glare, not necessarily in that order. Never sell your voice to a giant sea witch just because you have a crush on some guy. It's just not worth it. When selecting footwear for the big dance, go ahead and write your name in your shoe. There is nothing to see in the Elephant Graveyard. End of story. If you're known by the name Sleeping Beauty, don't use a spinning wheel. Go out and buy a sewing machine. Don't try to be someone you're not to impress a princess. Just be yourself. Maybe you'll meet someone special. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have puppies. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll join the circus and learn to fly. Live in the jungle once but leave before it makes you hard. Live in the forest once but leave before it makes you soft. Treat your elders with respect and don't be fooled by that advice. If a guy named Foulfellow invites you to a place called Pleasure Island, don't go! I mean, he's got the word foul right in his name. But trust me on the conscience thing."
 * "I'm too busy flexing!"
 * "A mouse with a pet cat? That's funny!"
 * "Give me that piece of wood over there!"
 * "That's a bad word!"
 * "Huh? AAAAAAHH!"
 * "Listen, I'm an ogre. I'm the one that does the scaring. What is there to be scared of?"
 * "Stu! Come on, let's blow this popsicle stand!"
 * "Aaaaaahh! Stu!"
 * "Folks, be the first in the community to get your very own mobile home!"
 * "Mama! Dada!"
 * "I'm a cat! You're a mouse! You should be living in a hole!"
 * "Looky looky here! Why this is most irregular! I just can't believe my eyes! He ain't dead, is he! No, dead people don't snore!"
 * "The man was just plain dirty, running around knocking people on the head with that hammer of his. He should be locked up for the rest of his life.
 * "I don't think he should be released. It's idiots like Maxwell who encourage other psychopaths to try the same thing."
 * "What he did was wrong, but he has paid his debt to society and therefore must go free."
 * "I imagine you'll want sushi, my little yellow friend!"
 * "It's always nice to have a sexy woman clumping in high heels around the building!"
 * "Maddie, cutie pie, your friends are here!"
 * "Hey look! It's my favorite niece!"
 * "Oh, hi sweetie, hello, it's your auntie! You're so CUTE! You're such an ADORABLE LITTLE THING!"
 * "Honey, I know it's not the best activity for you, but for a two year old, it would be GREAT!"
 * "Shush! Shush! Shush!"
 * "Bedtime, sweetie pie!"
 * "Unfortunately, this is the world our baby will grow up in and there's nothing you can do about it."
 * "Okay honey, I can't wait to see how you'll handle the teen years!"
 * "You are absolutely attractive. You know, I'm sure I could get you a part next playtime. I'm sorry, are we back? All right girl, lovely talking with you. Anytime you'd like some tips on acting, I'd be glad to chat with you. Alright, off you go then."
 * "I'm not a girl's toy!"
 * "Oh, what are you doing?"
 * "Uh, nothing?"
 * "Are you ready to fly in the sky?"
 * "Here we go. One, two, threeee!"
 * "Fly, baby, fly!"
 * "Now might be a good time to tell you all about the Motion Picture Association of America's fascinating rating system. Now, if a family wants to see a movie and it's rated G, then everyone can go: Mom, and Dad, and Buffy and Jody and Grandma and Grandpa and even Sergeant Scruffy! If it's PG, then there might be something unsuitable for young or sensitive viewers, in which case Buffy might have to stay home. Along with Grandma, who didn't want to go to the movies anyway. Now, if the movie's rated PG-13, it might have some material in there that mommy and daddy might not like, uh, some of the young kids to see, so Jody might just have to go home. Bye-bye, Jody! Now if the movie's rated R, then it's going to contain some a-dult material, in which case, Dad, who's got a lazy tummy, will probably want to stay home. But if the movie's rated NC-17 that means kids can't get in; only a-dults can get in. Mom doesn't want to see a-dult movies. But Grandpa was in the army, and he's not bothered very much, and so he decides to stay. Along with Sergeant Scruffy, who's just a dumb dog anyway."
 * "Is it related to Santa Claus?"
 * "I didn't invent the time machine to win at gambling, boys! I invented the time machine to travel through time!"
 * "Pink elephants!? What's gotten into your head!?"
 * "Manure! I hate manure!"
 * "If you don't get back to your place by sunset, burn you at stake!"
 * "Who do you think!? The Libyans!"
 * "Nobody calls me chicken!"
 * "Oh mooey, mooey! I love you!"
 * "You almost got us killed! Are you brainless!?"
 * "I speak!"
 * "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent! Now get out of here!"
 * "No no! Mesa stay!"
 * "I am your father!"
 * "NOOOOO!"
 * "How about we name him Fred?"
 * "This is a pre boarding announcement. We are only boarding passengers with mates."
 * "Then you must standby travel."
 * "You stand by and we travel!"
 * "But I do have power! So whatever I say goes!"
 * "I'm in charge here! Me me!"
 * "We're happier when you don't sing! Dohohohohoho!"
 * "Wow! She's so cute!"
 * "Oh my gosh she's so ADORABLE!"
 * "GIRL!? Oy!"
 * "My precious granddaughter.'
 * "I'll teach her the proper manners!"
 * "If you hold on to your anger, your anger will hold on to you."
 * "My mother was a caterpillar. My father was a worm. But I'm okay with that now."
 * "Sister, when you're under the influence you see things that aren't really there."
 * "Es una nina!"
 * "I just want them to have a happy peaceful loving life, man!"
 * "It's a boy!"
 * "Incorrect gender!"
 * "It's a girl!"
 * "Oh you're so beautiful! You look just like your mother!"
 * "I promised myself I wouldn't cry!"
 * "I didn't!"
 * "I will teach her all about America and how to live a moral cultural lifestyle!"
 * "We're having twins!"
 * "Half doe, half buck, I'm a duck!"
 * "That bear and that deer are getting together."
 * "Fire in the hole!"
 * "Playing possum is what we do."
 * "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
 * "Whew, that was a hectic election!"
 * "Yup! Riots, ad hominem attacks, and accusations of media bias. Thank Christ I didn't vote because I don't care much for politics."
 * "Tell that to my boy. He really doesn't care."
 * "Honey? Are you feeling okay?"
 * "Of course. Why? Are you worried about me?"
 * "Yes my love and I'm worried about the baby because I love you both. I'm worried about myself because I don't know how to be a good father."
 * "Dean, you'll do just fine and I trust you."
 * "I can feel her. Can you feel her?"
 * "Of course silly. A mother can always feel what her unborn child is doing. Would you like to come closer?"
 * "I would like that."
 * "Why did you do that?"
 * "Because I love you, you're my husband, and you showed that you love me."
 * "Then I will hug you. I love you."
 * "Dean, put your hand where I had mine."
 * "Is it hurting you?""It is a little, actually I'm glad she is because it lets me know that something is growing inside me."
 * "Are you okay? You look sad."
 * "I'm okay, I'm just happy for you."
 * "This baby is not just mine, she's ours, she is our daughter, so don't feel left out."
 * "You're right. Please stop crying, I don't know what came over me."
 * "It's alright, I understand. You were acting like something was wrong."
 * "What are you looking at?""Your eyes."
 * "Why? Is it because you thought you saw a small figure of a baby in my eyes?"
 * "Yes, how did you know?"
 * "I saw the same thing. That is the reason why I stared at myself for awhile. May we lie down?"
 * "Sweetheart, it feels so good to have your body pressed against mine."
 * "You know, I was thinking the same thing."
 * "I can't wait until she is born, and in my arms. I know I have to wait."
 * "Honey, I know how much you want to see our child, but you are thankful you're going to have one."
 * "I'm very thankful for this baby, but I want to see her in my arms."
 * "Dean, do you love me? That's what I want to ask you."
 * "Of course honey, I love you with all my heart and you know that. Why do you ask?"
 * "I just wanted to know how much you love me. I love you too, and I know that she will love us, especially me because everytime you say my name or say "mommy" she always kicks or hits me in some way. I know she's telling us that she loves us, but she doesn't need to hit too hard."
 * "I love you too my little baby and you must know that I love your mother very much, plus your entire family, and we're waiting for your birth."
 * "Mind tricks don't work on me! Only money!"
 * "I'll be shooting for my own hand!"


 * "Coming to a theater near you"


 * "A film by George Robertson"


 * "The Lifetime of the Avirams"


 * "Waaaaaahhhhh!!!!"


 * (Glass breaks)


 * "Eze balagan gadol!!!!"

Controversy

 * Even though the novel contained several adult themes, a lot of parents mistakenly bought it for their children simply because it was a comic. This angered the novel's author, as he referred to it as "child abuse", forcing him to put a warning label on the novel in order to prevent the mistake from happening again. It has also received plenty of criticism for the use of ethnic stereotypes (To the point where the actors who shared the same ethnicity as the characters they played who were being stereotyped in the adaptations were accused of "betraying their heritage"), the portrayal of gay and transgender people as comical or evil, jokes about conditions such as dementia and asthma, and other content such as fat jokes, short jokes and sexual abuse jokes, but the creative team defended it by saying "He's not supposed to get to know these characters well, he's just supposed to interact with them, that's the point!" or "It's supposed to show how bad the world is!" and gave counterarguments regarding characters from minority groups who were portrayed in a positive light.

Reception

 * It was very well received in the Jewish community, particularly by Orthodox Jews. They didn't care about the references to non-Jewish holidays, the sexual innuendos, the romance, the swearing, the violence, or the constant talk and depiction of death, as to them it was a minor part of the story. The film adaptation was granted a special release in Israel.
 * Because of its' huge success, it was decreed that no more books, movies or TV shows may be made.