And Baby Makes Three/Transcript

Oliver and Company: The Series

And Baby Makes Three

Act I

(Interior of the Foxworth house. Jenny is sitting in the living room, with her friends, a blond girl, Alex, and a an African-American girl, Megan. They are playing with Sancho.)

Megan: Your parrot's really fun, Jenny! Does he say anything?

Jenny: I don't know, let's see. (To Sancho) Sancho, say hello to Megan.

(Nothing happens. Then, she gets a response)

Sancho: (squawks) Hello, Megan. (squawks)

(They laugh. Mrs. Foxworth, Jenny's mother, enters. She has sandy-blond hair, and dressed in floral print. Her stomach is swollen, clearly showing she is pregnant.)

Mrs. Foxworth: What's going on here? (smiles)

Jenny: I was just showing Sancho to my friends.

Mrs' Foxworth: That's lovely, Jenny.

(They notice her swollen belly. Mrs. Foxworth sits down, straining.)

Alex: When's the baby due, Mrs. Foxworth?

Mrs. Foxworth: Any day now.

(From upstairs, Oliver is watching the whole spectacle.)

Oliver: I can't believe Jenny's gonna be a big sister.

(The next day, Fagin is talking to Mr. and Mrs. Foxworth. Mr. Foxworth has graying hair, and is sporting a sky-blue shirt, brown trousers and socks. Dodger and Oliver are nearby listening in with the rest of the gang.)

Fagin: I'm really happy for you. Mrs. Foxworth.

Mrs. Foxworth: Please, you can call me Laura.

Fagin: Alright, Laura...why didn't you tell me?

Mrs. Foxworth: We wanted to keep it a surprise.

Fagin: Are you having a boy or a girl?

(Mr. and Mrs. Foxworth look at each other.)

Mrs. Foxworth: A boy.

Fagin: Lovely!

Mr. Foxworth: And we've got the best doctor in New York City. Dr. Anwar Sethi. He studied medicine at the University of Mumbai and at Cornell University.

(Flashback. Mrs. Foxworth is lying on a hospital bed in a gown, with Mr. Foxworth sitting at her bedside. Dr. Sethi is examining her stomach. He is a tall, thin Indian man in a white doctor's jacket and turban, with a thick, black and grey beard and mustache.)

Mrs. Foxworth: So, what is it, Dr. Sethi?

Dr. Sethi: (in thick Indian accent) Mrs. Foxworth, I've done the scan and you are having....(pause)...a boy!

Mr. Foxworth: That's incredible, Dr. Sethi! Jenny's gonna love having a baby brother.

Dr. Sethi: I wish you the best. (shakes Mr. Foxworth's hand)

(Flashback ends. As Fagin continues talking, Dodger turns to Oliver.)

Dodger: So, Ollie, how are you gonna cope with having a baby in the house?

Oliver: I don't know..it could be really nice.

(Sancho and Shadow approach.)

Shadow: Nice? Are you jokin' me?

Sancho: Ollie, sorry to ruin the fantasy, but you're gonna experience...(imitates baby crying)...crying, sick and poop. Not bueno!

(Oliver glares at Sancho.)

Oliver: Don't be a spoilsport, Sancho.

Rita: Yeah, it could be fun.

Fagin: So, Mrs. Foxworth? Do you need any practice?

Mrs. Foxworth: We've read books, researched on the internet. I think we've got this covered. We might need a tiny last bit of practice though.

Mr. Foxworth: (whistles) Dodger, come here boy.

(Dodger approaches, looking slightly perplexed.)

Fagin: Sorry, boy, but we're gonna need you for practice.

(Fagin lifts Dodger onto the table. He suddenly gets a horrified look on his face, and starts struggling. Fagin hands Mr. Foxworth a diaper.)

Mr. Foxworth: Come on, Dodger, stop being ridiculous.

(He slips the diaper between Dodger's legs, and fiddles with the straps. All the while, the gang look on in curiosity, as Dodger struggles and protests; Georgette has entered the room to see the commotion.)

Georgette: Oh my...

(Fagin places Dodger on the floor; he looks positively disgusted. We can see he is wearing the diaper, and Oliver, Rita and the gang, struggle to contain their laughter.)

Oliver: Dodge...I'm not...(snickers)

Rita: It's just...the...I'm sorry...(giggles)

Sancho: Dodger, mi amigo, this is priceless! (guffaws uproariously)

Dodger: Bird, if you tell a soul about this, I'll make the rest of your life as miserable as possible.

Georgette: That'll be hard; parrots can live for fifty years, so he'll always have the last laugh, baby Dodger!

(She snickers. Dodger looks mortified.)

Rita: (patronizing voice) Awww, baby need his bottle and blankie?

(The gang continue laughing.)

Rita: Oliver, say hello to your baby brother! (laughs)

(Dodger stares into the camera, embarrassed. Cut to commercial break.)

Act II

(The houseboat, later that evening. Dodger is watching a football game; the rest of the gang sit in the background, gossiping among themselves. Dodger hops off his chair, and approaches.)

Dodger: Well, spit it out. What's so funny?

(Tito and Francis look at Dodger.)

Francis: Nothing...

Tito: Yeah, nothing...little baby!

(They both snigger. Dodger sighs in embarrassment, and storms off.)

Tito: What's wrong? Baby need diaper change?

Francis: Are you done throwing your toys out of the pram?

(Rita glares at them.)

Rita: Alright, guys. Give it a rest.

(Rita follows Dodger out of the houseboat; he is sitting on the deck.)

Rita: Come on, Dodger, they were only joking. Why the long face?

Dodger: Maybe because I wanted the earth to open and take me in.

Rita: Come on, you only had to wear it for like a minute and then he took it off.

Dodger: Well, Rit, that's not the only reason I'm out here.

Rita: Why? What is it?

Dodger: (breathes out) Well, with Jenny's mom having a baby, it's got me thinking...I wonder what it would be like if we had kids?

Rita: What? You think we should have kids?

Dodger: Well, yeah.

Rita: I mean, you were pretty much a great father figure to Oliver, so maybe...

Dodger: Yeah! And, well, I also remember I've actually got a cousin with two pups. So I'm pretty much the best uncle in the world.

(Rita laughs. The two enter the houseboat.)

Rita: I remember! Your niece and nephew are just adorable, but my goodness, they're a pair of firecrackers.

Dodger: Hey, I'm like the fun uncle.

(Suddenly, Fagin enters with takeout.)

Fagin: Dinner's here, guys.

(Einstein approaches.)

Einstein: Are you ready to eat, guys?

Dodger: Definitely. At least you didn't rib me about my humiliation today, Einy.

(He joins the rest of the gang in the feast.)

Dodger: Chinese. My favorite.

(The gang start dining.)

Francis: So, from what I hear, you're planning on having pups?

Dodger: What? Who told you?

Francis: Just rumors.

Tito: I just hope it's better than when Dodger had to look after his niece and nephew.

Einstein: I thought they were cute.

Rita: Don't get me wrong, they are cute, but....

Francis: They're not pups. They're like little demons.

(Dodger rolls his eyes at them.)

Dodger: Like I said, I consider myself the cool uncle.

Francis: If your definition of "cool" is letting them stay up till all hours, nearly getting them run over and basically just letting them be a pain in my backside, then fine.

(They laugh, and continue eating.)

(Later, the gang are sleeping. Dodger is lying on his mattress, tossing and turning, unable to rest. He then gets up, and walks onto the houseboat's deck, staring out into the darkness.)

Dodger: (to himself) I know I'd make a great dad. I know I would. (breathes in) What would I do?

(He turns to the sleeping gang, and heads back inside. He slumps onto his mattress and closes his eyes.)

(Meanwhile, at the Foxworth house, the whole house is sleeping soundly. Oliver is sleeping on Jenny's bed; Georgette is in her bedroom; Sancho and Shadow are resting.)

Mrs. Foxworth: (groans) Ohhh...

(Mr. Foxworth jumps up out of bed.)

Mr. Foxworth: Laura, what's wrong?

(Mrs. Foxworth screams and breathes in.)

Mrs. Foxworth: David, my waters have broken!

(Cut to commercial break.)