Flushed Away (Alternate Version)

Part 1: Dancing With Myself

 * (The screen fades to the DreamWorks SKG logo, then the Aardman logo. Opens to a view of Kensington, London, UK. The logos "DreamWorks Animation and Aardman Features present" appear.)
 * (The title, "Flushed Away" appears on the bridge. The logo fades as it cuts outside to Tabitha's apartment. A black car comes in and honks. Cuts to the living room.)
 * Mum: Car's here!
 * Dad: It's 9:00 already! Hurry up! We're going to miss our flight!
 * Mum: Traveler's checks, passports...
 * Dad: You have the tickets, darling?
 * Mum: Tabitha, did you feed Roddy?
 * Tabitha: Oops!
 * Mum: I know we've forgotten something, I just know we've forgotten something.
 * Tabitha: Hello, Gilbert! Hello, Sullivan!
 * Dad: (off-screen) Come on, Tabitha!
 * Tabitha: Just a second! (goes to Roddy and gives him a piece of cheese) Bye, Roddy! I'll miss you!
 * Dad: (off-screen) We don't want to miss our holiday!
 * (Tabitha comes to the door)
 * Tabitha: I'm coming, I'm coming! (closes the door)
 * (Silence. Cuts to Tabitha's bedroom. Roddy yawns.)
 * Roddy: All clear, chaps! (cuts to Gilbert standing as Sullivan loses his balance on the wheel) Tabitha has gone away and (cuts to Roddy) two weeks' the place to myself. Ah... (slides down) Aha! (kicks the door open) When the cat's away, Roddy St. James will play. (stares in shock and hides inside) The cat is away, isn't it? G-Gilbert? Sullivan? Hasn't Tabitha got a new pet cat today?
 * Gilbert: Uh, no, sir. She has not. Just only the three of us.
 * Sullivan: You better snap out of it. You must've been dreaming.
 * Roddy: (comes out of the door and wipes his head off) Oh, thank goodness... Otherwise we'd be cat food by now.
 * Gilbert: Sir, we have a surprise for you.
 * Roddy: A surprise?
 * Gilbert and Sullivan: Happy Birthday, Master Roderick.
 * Roddy: You... remembered. Well, chaps, today's the day I'm going to live it up! I have the entire day planned on my list, "Roddy's Fun Day!" Shows everything I want to do for my life.
 * Gilbert: Great! Right this way, sir! The party has just begun! (he and Sullivan walk forward)
 * Roddy: The holiday starts now! (goes to the jukebox) Music maestro!
 * (Roddy turns on the jukebox as "Dancing With Myself" plays. He dances to the song and follows his butlers. Cuts to the kitchen where Roddy goes to a bowl and a coffee maker. Roddy turns on the coffee maker as it emits hot water, takes off his PJs off-screen and goes to the bowl. The camera zooms to Roddy, without his clothes, censoring his private parts. As Roddy touches the water, he exclaims in pain. Roddy claps his hands two times to get Gilbert. Gilbert comes in with a glass bottle filled with cold water. Gilbert pours the cold water on the bowl and Roddy goes in. Roddy sees that the water is warmer. Roddy claps his hands two times to get Sullivan. Sullivan comes in with a red toy boat and puts it on the bowl.)
 * (Cuts to Roddy, now wearing his white PJs again, with his mirror. Roddy claps his hands two times as his butlers appear with a toothbrush, with toothpaste on it. Roddy grabs the toothbrush, turns it on to make it vibrate, and brushes with it.)
 * (Cuts to Roddy, wearing swim trunks, to the sink, full of water, with Gilbert and Sullivan, wearing swim trunks, on their rafts.)
 * Roddy: Cannonball! (jumps on the sink, splashing Gilbert and Sullivan)
 * (Cuts to Roddy, wearing a white shirt, and a black helmet on his head, with a cotton swab, riding on a pink plastic horse, which Gilbert and Sullivan are carrying. Roddy hits a pea with a cotton swab as it launches to a white vase. The vase breaks off-screen as Roddy looks back.)
 * (Cuts to Roddy in the living room, with a cotton swab, trying to hit a pea. Gilbert and Sullivan appear also.)
 * Roddy: Fore!
 * (Roddy swings the swab as it hits Gilbert. Roddy hits the pea with a swab. Roddy turns back to Sullivan, but sees that Gilbert isn't here. Roddy looks at Gilbert, who is hit at the wall.)
 * Roddy: Oops. Sorry!
 * (Cuts to Roddy, while whistling, riding on his red car with a vacuum. The vacuum sucks all of the peas inside.)
 * (Cuts to Roddy, with his checklist, with "Swimming", "Skiing" and "Polo" checked off. Roddy checks off golf on the list.)
 * (Cuts to Roddy in the living room, with Gilbert and Sullivan dressing him with a black jacket and black shoes. Roddy wipes off the dust from his jacket and is fully dressed.
 * Sullivan: Any plans for this evening, sir?
 * Roddy: Well, chaps, get the stuff ready, because we're going to prepare the obstacle course!
 * (Cuts to the kitchen shaking as a large booming sound is heard.)
 * (Cuts to the living room where Roddy and his butlers gasp in fear.)
 * Roddy: What was that?
 * Sullivan: it sounds like a noise, sir.
 * Gilbert: In the kitchen. (points to the kitchen)
 * Roddy: (looks at the kitchen) Yes. A noise. In the kitchen. Very helpful. (looks at his butlers) But, what's making the noise?
 * Gilbert: Perhaps an intruder?
 * Sullivan: Yes! An intruder! Perhaps we should investigate. (walks along with Gilbert to the kitchen and looks at Roddy) Uh, sir?
 * Roddy: Investigate? Uh... Yes, investigate. To the kitchen! (follows Gilbert and Sullivan)

Part 2: Sid from the Sewer

 * (Cuts to the kitchen. Roddy, with Gilbert, wearing a knight helmet on his head, and Sullivan, wearing a helmet with leaves on it and makeup, popping up behind a cereal box. Roddy and Sullivan hide except for Sullivan. Sullivan falls down with his helmet as Roddy and Sullivan pull him back in the box. Cuts to Roddy and his butlers who are hiding behind a cereal box.)
 * Roddy: (looks at the sink) There's something out there. We better sneak out to the sink and see if the "intruder" is friendly or not.
 * (Roddy with a green umbrella, Gilbert with an orange umbrella, and Sullivan with a purple umbrella sneak out to the sink. Roddy looks at the sink and sees that the faucet is shaking. The sink explodes and summons a strange creature falling down.)
 * ??? (played by Shane Richie): (coming out from the sink) YEEEEEEEE-HAW!!!
 * (Roddy sees that the mysterious creature has landed on a chocolate cake. The creature coming out from the cake is none other than Sid, an overweight rat from the sewer. Sid belches very extremely loud as the stench pulls away Roddy and his butlers. Roddy gets tripped by a plate of sausages, Sullivan falls off the table, and Gilbert uses an orange umbrella to make him fly to safety. After the belch, Roddy comes out from the plate and gets belched the second time, then the third, and finally the fourth. Cuts to the chocolate cake where Sid is at.)
 * Sid: (smacks his lips) Oh, wow, heh! I don't remember eating that. (belches again and looks at the entire kitchen) Whoa, would you look at this place then. I think I could get used to this.
 * Roddy: (gasps) What the...?
 * (Cuts to Sid.)
 * Sid: Oh, hello!
 * Roddy, Gilbert and Sullivan: AH!
 * Sid: "AH!" to you too, lads!
 * Roddy: Who are you? Stand back, please! Don't get any closer!
 * Sid: Hey, what's the idea, mate? There's nothing to worry about! (points to himself with his thumb) Sidney! Sid to my mates, and you are?
 * Roddy: (gets away from Sid's disgusting hand) Appalled.
 * Sid: Cheers, Paul! (laughs and gives Roddy a hug)
 * (Roddy is uncomfortable of Sid's hug. Sid cracks Roddy's back, as Roddy exclaims in pain.)
 * Sid: I love making new friends! (gives Roddy a head nuggie) Come here, you little ball of fluff!
 * Roddy: Ew, ew, ew! (backs away from Sid) Ow, oh, he touched me! Ooh, I can already feel the germs flooding my system! I'll be dead by breakfast!
 * Sid: (comes in with a sardine) This is great! One minute, I'm in the pub, I'm minding me own business, next thing you know, WHHHOOOOSH! It's a burst water main, off I go, shooting up the sewer pipes and, well... Here I am!
 * Roddy: Are you...? (stuttering) Uh, but, I mean, uh, aren't...
 * (Sid eats a sardine as Roddy looks with a disturbing reaction. Sid finishes eating the sardine as he wipes off his mouth.)
 * Sid: Lovely-jubbily!
 * (Roddy closes his mouth in disgust.)
 * Sid: (laughs) Say, you wouldn't have any clothes I can borrow?
 * Roddy: Well, yes, but...
 * Sid: Say no more! (runs to the living room)
 * Roddy: No, no, no... Hey, no!
 * Sid: Geronimo!
 * Roddy: NO! NO, NO, DON'T... touch anything!
 * (Cuts to the living room, with Sid looking at the TV.)
 * Sid: Would you look at the size of that monster?!
 * (Roddy and his butlers run off to the living room.)
 * Roddy: (to Sid) No, no, no! That's the TV! (looks at his butlers miserably)
 * (Cuts to Sid jumping to a pillow with a remote in his hand. Sid presses the button on the remote as the FIFA World Cup Final plays on the TV, with England against America.)
 * TV Announcer: It's the match of the century! The FIFA World Cup Final! England! America! Live this Sunday! Be there!
 * (Cuts to Sid looking surprised as he takes off his shoes.)
 * Sid: England in the World Cup Final! I never thought I'd see the day. Me and you, we're gonna have a great time watching that.
 * (Cuts to the TV turned off.)
 * (Cuts to Sid, who's relaxing with his eyes closed, waking up.)
 * (Cuts to Roddy and his butlers angry at Sid.)
 * Roddy: Right, my friend. You... don't... belong here! I'm afraid it's time for you to leave! (punches Sid's right foot, then backs away from it in disgust and shakes his hand off) Ugh!
 * Sid: I would not do that if I was you, "pal." Let me lay this out for you. This place is mine now, Sid says "Jump", you say "How High?". HA-HEY! Comprende?
 * (Roddy gasps.)
 * Sid: Now, fetch us some fitting clothes from the dresser, Jeeves. Oh, and be snappy about it.
 * Roddy: Eh... Loud and clear, my... new flat, cheering mate... friend. Yes, uh, Gilbert, Sullivan, um... Let's make our new guest feel welcome, shall we?
 * (Gilbert and Sullivan gasp.)
 * Roddy: We're going to, uh, heat up a Jacuzzi.
 * Sid: (surprised) A Jacuzzi?
 * Gilbert: (whispers to Roddy) Uh, Master Roderick, sir?
 * Roddy: (whispers to his butlers) Yes, chaps?
 * Sullivan: (whispers to Roddy) A word?
 * Roddy: Uh... (to Sid) *chuckle* Uh, we'll be right back.
 * Sid: (to Roddy, Gilbert and Sullivan) Take your time, mates.
 * (Roddy and his butlers walk out and whisper in private.)
 * Gilbert: Are you sure about this? We don't even have a Jacuzzi!
 * Roddy: Listen, I promise. I'm just going to lure Sid to the toilet, thinking it was a Jacuzzi, then, after he's gone, we have nothing to worry about, and we'll continue the fun! Simple!
 * Sullivan: Uh, okay.
 * (Roddy and his butlers come back to Sid, after the pep talk.)
 * Gilbert: (to Sid) Ahem... Sir, we got the Jacuzzi heated up for you.
 * Sid: Great! I like where this is going. Lead the way.
 * (Roddy and his butlers chuckle and look at themselves gleefully.)

Part 3: Roddy Gets Flushed

 * (The screen shows a closed door to the bathroom.)
 * (Cuts to Sid.)
 * Sid: Oh, this is smashing of you, mate.
 * (Cuts to Roddy and Sid standing on a toilet seat.)
 * Sid: (to Roddy) You know what you are? You're a real gent.
 * Roddy: (to Sid) Well, after a hard day of navigating sewer pipes, there's nothing better than a nice, warm whoosh-around.
 * Sid: That looks so inviting!
 * Roddy: Yes, yes, the water looks perfect. Now, you... hop in, and I'll press this lever to get the bubbles going.
 * Sid: Right, in I go... (is about to dive onto the water, but stops) Uh, hang on a sec.
 * Roddy: What?
 * (Sid gets a watch out of his pocket and puts it on the seat.)
 * Sid: Don't wanna get me watch wet.
 * (Roddy laughs sheepishly.)
 * Sid: In we go! (is about to dive onto the water, but then once again stops) Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! (to Roddy) I know we got off on the wrong foot before, right? But, you know I really think we're gonna get along, don't you?
 * Roddy: Swimmingly.
 * (Sid places his hand on Roddy's shoulder. Roddy becomes unamused to Sid.)
 * Sid: Be seeing you, my friend.
 * (Sid pushes Roddy to the toilet. Roddy lands on the water and quickly swims to the surface.)
 * Sid: You plonker! You think I don't know a toilet when I see one?! You were going to flush me down the loo!!
 * Roddy: No! No, no, no! It's a Jacuzzi! It's a big Jacuzzi, deluxe model!
 * Sid: Well, then you won't mind if I get the bubbles going, will ya?
 * Roddy: No! Not the lever! No!
 * (Sid grabs onto the toilet lever)
 * Roddy: Have mercy! NO! I can't swim!
 * Sid: Bon voyage, me ol' cream cracker!! (flushes the toilet) Hold your nose!
 * (The toilet starts flushing.)
 * Roddy: Gilbert! Sullivan! HELP!
 * Sid: You were gonna try and flush me! Let's see how you like it!!
 * (Roddy is now flushed. A bubble appears and pops.)
 * (Cuts to Roddy inside the pipes to the toilet. Roddy gets hit multiple times by the pipes. Roddy lands on a big pipe and goes underwater. Roddy, with an afro on his head, comes out. Roddy looks at the afro on his head. Roddy looks and hangs onto something, with the afro falling off his head, as the water drains out. Roddy is hanging onto a piece of toilet paper. The paper is about to rip off as Roddy looks at it. Roddy falls down onto a giant wave of water. The wave moves Roddy as he gets hit by a piece of toilet paper and then a goldfish.)
 * Goldfish: (wakes up and talks to Roddy) Have you seen my dad?
 * Roddy: (throws the goldfish away) Ah! (falls off onto the giant sewer pool) NAAAAAAAAGGGHH!!
 * (Roddy is in underwater and screams as he sees falling dentures. Roddy dodges from the dentures and swims back to the surface. Roddy gasps for air and grabs a chocolate bar as he looks and screams at it.)
 * Roddy: Oh. (gasps as the chocolate bar is heading to the main pipe)
 * (Roddy swims away from the main pipe. The water pulls Roddy to a gate. Roddy gets off from the gate and falls to the sewer. Roddy lands on the water.)
 * Roddy: (gets up, flailing his arms around) Oh, no, I can't swim! I can't swim! I can't... (stops for a moment and gets up from the water with his legs) ...swim.
 * (The camera zooms close to Roddy as he looks around in the sewer.)
 * Roddy: I'm... in... THE SEWER?!?! (runs around in horror) NOOOOOOOOAAAAGGGH!!! (gets to the concrete floor and encounters a slug)
 * (The slug's eyes pop out as it scares Roddy.)
 * Roddy: AAAGH!!
 * Slug: AAAGH!!
 * Roddy: AAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!
 * Slug: AAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!! (runs away from Roddy)
 * (Roddy whimpers in horror and gets on top of the concrete. Roddy grabs his tail with his hands and looks around. A thud sound is heard off-screen as Roddy gasps.)
 * Roddy: Hello?
 * (Cuts to the view of the sewer, with an insect crawling on top of the wall.)
 * Roddy: Help? (closes his eyes with his hands) I'm gonna open my eyes I'm gonna be home. (opens his eyes) This is all a bad dream. (looks around and jumps in horror) OH, I'M NOT HOME! I WANNA GO HOME! (slaps himself) Shush! Stop it, stop it, Roddy! (becomes frightened) Stop it, I want to go home! (about to calm down) Pull yourself together! (becomes frightened again) I CAN'T, I'M JUST... frightened. (slaps himself three times) STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! (calming down) Okay. This doesn't seem bad here. I think I could learn to like this place.
 * (A group of slugs from the wall wake up as Roddy looks at them. Roddy screams again.)
 * Roddy: AAAGH!!
 * Slugs: AAAGH!!
 * Roddy: AAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!
 * Slugs: AAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!
 * (Roddy sees that a slug is on his back.)
 * Roddy: AAAGH!! (gets a slug off his back) AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
 * (Roddy is running away from the sewer, until he hears something from the pipe. Roddy looks at the pipe, with a slug in the background running away screaming.)
 * ???: (off-screen) Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
 * Roddy: (excitingly) A way out! (runs to the pipe) Yes!! Ha, ha, ha! (gets hit by a gate that makes him fall off)
 * (Roddy falls off from the pipe and lands on the ground. A rat person, wearing a pink shirt, a blue sleeveless vest, and a white hat gets Roddy up.)
 * Roddy: (groaning in pain, until he gasps in amazement) Good grief!
 * (The camera zooms to a view of Ratropolis.)

Part 4: The Jammy Dodger

 * (In this scene, Roddy sneaks into the darkest tunnel and sees a boat, named the Jammy Dodger.)
 * Pegleg: (off-screen) And remember, the name of the boat's the Jammy Dodger.
 * (Cuts to Roddy, with Pegleg holding his pet goldfish and a big bottle.)
 * Roddy: (to Pegleg) Um, thanks for bringing me this far.
 * Pegleg: (to Roddy) You're welcome. (walks away along with his goldfish pet and a big bottle he's holding)
 * Goldfish: (to Roddy) See ya!
 * (Pegleg and the goldfish are gone. Roddy sneaks in to the boat as the ominous background singing is heard. Roddy stops and sees as the ominus singing is composed by none other than the 7 slugs. One slug is whistling, while the other 6 are harmonizing. Roddy turns back as another 8th slug appears on a box.)
 * Slug: (to Roddy) Beware... Beware...
 * (Roddy walks away and goes to the Jammy Dodger.)
 * Roddy: Hello? Uh, permission to come aboard? (steps on the Dodger and looks around) Ahoy there. (walks on the Dodger) Uh...
 * (A metallic hand gets up as Roddy turns around. Roddy sees that the hand didn't move, so he walks anyway. The hand comes back once again as Roddy looks back again. The hand blends in again. Roddy still continues walking, as the hand walks and pokes Roddy's shoulder two times. Roddy looks right and the hand hides from him. Roddy is still not looking at the hand as it his hiding. The hand goes to the bottom as Roddy walks backwards to it.)
 * Roddy: (gasps, gets grabbed by the metallic hand, and gets moved to a person hiding in the shadows) Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, Mr. uh... Captain, Skipper, Thingy.
 * ??? (played by Kate Winslet): Hey! That's (comes out from the shadows as Rita Malone, who's chewing gum) Miss (gets her gum out of her mouth) Captain Skipper Thingy (places the gum to the button) to you.
 * Roddy: Oops.
 * Rita: What are you doing on my boat?
 * Roddy: Look, I've had a really bad day and I just need your help. You see, I've been thrown out of my own home, I've been flushed down my own toilet... (gets shushed by a metallic hand)
 * Rita: Yeah, thank you, too much information. I've got my own problems, mate.
 * ??? (played by Andy Serkis): (off-screen) She's around here somewhere!
 * (Rita puts her fist on the button as the metallic hand drops Roddy on the ground.)
 * Rita: Stay down. And keep quiet. (drags the brick wall disguise down)
 * (Rita is hiding from something as Roddy pops out behind her.)
 * Roddy: (looking around) Why? Who are we hiding from?
 * (Rita closes Roddy's mouth angrily.)
 * Rita: (whispering) I said quiet!! There's rats after me who'd like to kill me.
 * Roddy: (pushes Rita's hand away) Well, I'll contain my amazement.
 * (Rita, with an annoyed look, stares at Roddy.)
 * Roddy: All right, all right.
 * (Rita groans and walks away from Roddy.)
 * Roddy: Quiet as a mouse. (zips his lips with his right hand and places his left shoulder on the rope)
 * (An air horn blares as the brick wall disguise falls into the water. Rita looks back and gasps. Roddy gets his left shoulder away from the rope as the air horn stops blaring. The henchrat ship appears moving to the Dodger.)
 * ??? (played by Andy Serkis): (on the ship) Over there!!
 * Rita: (to Roddy) You idiot!!!
 * Roddy: (to Rita) Sorry about that. (chuckes sheepishly) Uh, I'll be off then. (gets his right foot stuck on a bucket) Oh, sorry. Ah! (pulls the rope as an air horns blares again and hits him on the head) Sorry. (gets hit by a basement door) Sorry. (gets hit by a ruler and falls off to the water) Sorry!!
 * (Rita is annoyed and does a battle stance as the henchrat ship comes in)
 * ??? (played by Andy Serkis): (off-screen) We can't let her get away!
 * (Cuts to Roddy in the water as three slugs scream at him. Roddy shushes the three screaming slugs. Cuts to Rita powering the engine to the Dodger as the henchrat ship comes in.)
 * Rita: Come on, Jammy, me old mate, don't do this to me!
 * (The henchrat ship hits the Dodger and Rita too. Rita sees Whitey, with glasses, Thimblenose Ted, Fat Barry and Ladykiller landing on her ship. Rita gets up, throws Thimblenose Ted away, grabs Fat Barry, swings him and throws him at Ladykiller. Rita finished the job until Whitey grabs her by the shoulders. Roddy gets grabbed by Whitey also.)
 * Rita: (to Whitey) Let me go, you pink-eyed freak! (kicks Whitey's glasses off)
 * Whitey: (with eyes closed) I'm upset now. (wakes his pink eyes up and creepily stares at Roddy)
 * Roddy: (screaming at Whitey) Whatever's going on here, I assure you I'm not involved. Ah! I'm an innocent bystander!
 * (A light shines as a big shadow of Spike appears.)
 * Spike: (as a shadow) Rita, Rita, Rita! (chuckles evilly)
 * (Cuts to Spike in front of the light.)
 * Spike: You thought you could give us the slip. (slips off from his ship screaming, lands on the Dodger, and quickly gets up hopping around fighting) What are you looking at?
 * (Roddy, Rita, and Whitey stare as Spike is hopping around crazily.)
 * Spike: Keep still! Come on, then! Right! (stops and turns around to Roddy, Rita, and Whitey) Who have we got here?
 * Whitey: (to Spike) I believe he said his name was Millicent Bystander.
 * Spike: (snorting from laughter) Millicent!
 * Roddy: (to Spike) Ah, actually, no, uh...
 * Spike: (to Rita) Now, then, where's the ruby, Rita?
 * Whitey: (to Rita) The boss wants it back.
 * Rita: (to Spike) I don't have your stupid ruby.
 * Spike: (gasps) Ah... OK, are we going to do it the easy way... or the hard way?!
 * Whitey: (to Spike) I think we should do it the easy way, don't you, Spike?
 * Spike: Oh!
 * Rita: (sighs) All right. Check the tin.
 * (Spike looks at the Roger's Salty Nuts tin.)
 * Spike: (to Rita) Good girl! (goes to the tin and talks to Whitey) See, Whitey, this is how I do it. (opening the tin) Watch and learn, my son. Watch and... (gets launched upwards by a springy snake toy, that was inside the tin)
 * (Roddy, Rita, and Whitey look as Spike lands on the tin.)
 * Whitey: Was it in there?
 * Spike: (gets up from the tin) Right! (to Thimblenose Ted, Fat Barry and Ladykiller) Rip it up, lads!
 * (The three henchrats search for the ruby as Spike tries to get himself off from the tin.)
 * Rita: Hey! (to Fat Barry and Ladykiller) You get your filthy paws off my stuff!
 * (Cuts to Fat Barry and Ladykiller peeking at a diary, written by Rita, and looking at Rita as they snicker. Rita groans in disgust.)
 * Spike: It's in here somewhere. I can feel it in me guts!
 * Whitey: That'll be last night's curry, Spike. I'm the same. I got a bum like the Japanese flag.