Cartoon Mayhem/Transcript

Script
(20th Century Fox logo)

(TSG Entertainment logo)

(Chernin Entertainment logo.)

(Apatow Entertainment logo.)

Scene 1
(Screen fades to the dawn sky, the birds are tweeting, and screen pans to the fictional city called Cartoontown City, and screen goes inside LPS in Downtown City Road. Lights go on, and finally goes to the 3 male LPS Pets.)

Russell: *yawns, and notices the sun* Aw, fuck! Wake up guys! Wake up! The sun is about to come!

Sunil: Huh? What? *sees the sun* Holy shit! A new day! Vinnie, wake up!

Vinnie: Huh? Huh? What the fuck? A new day?

Sunil: Yes!

Russell: Today is the day we finally have our date with the girls!

Vinnie: Yes, this is cool! I can't wait to date Minka

Russell: Ready to date Zoe.

Sunil: Yeah. I can't fucking wait.

Vinnie: Shit! The song is gonna start.

(The 3 male lets go out.)

Russell: Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Bugs is about to sing!

Sunil: Drop it, Bugs!

Vinnie: You can do this, Bugs! You have good singing voice!

Russell: Drop it, Bugs! You fucking rock!

(The Cartoon Day plays.)

Scene 2
(Screen goes to the cartoon characters shopping in LPS.)

Russell: *smells the air* Ah, the air of a brand new day is here!

Vinnie: Yeah, and date the girls!

Sunil: Yeah, speaking of girls, let's talk to them.

Russell: Good idea! *in his mind: Maybe I can talk to my girlfriend, Zoe*

Vinnie: Fuck yeah.

Sunil: Girls!! *whistles*

(The 4 LPS Girls, which are Penny-Ling, Pepper Clark, Zoe Trent and Minka Mark approaches, the three are giggling, except for Zoe.)

Zoe: Sunil, what the bloody fuck are you doing?

Sunil: Deciding to chat with you.

Zoe: Look, I already have a boyfriend, you bitch.

Sunil: Hello, ladies.

Penny, Pepper and Minka: *giggling*

Vinnie: I can't wait to date one of you.

Zoe: Yeah, right.

Vinnie: Seriously, maybe one of the girls can be in love with me.

Zoe: Someone will never date you. I mean, who would ever date that gecko?

(Minka Mark raises her hand.)

Zoe: Minka, get your fucking hand down. (Zoe looks at Russell's eyes) I would love to date you.

(Minka gets her hand down.)

(Russell looks at Zoe.)

Russell: Zoe?

Zoe: Russell?

Russell: It's nice talking to you today.

Zoe: It is nice to see you too. You are even cuter than that Digby cunt who fell in love with Penny instead of me.

Russell: Yeah, that asshole.

Zoe: Yeah, you're my life.

Russell: *smiles* So are you.

(Zoe and Russell touches tips, then the cartoon bus comes.)

Vinnie: Oh, shit! The bus is here!

(Then, the bus driver, which is Wander, approaches to LPS.)

Sunil: Holy shit! It's time!

Wander: *picks the LPS pets up and goes to the bus*

Vinnie: See you later, fuckers!! *pulls the middle finger*

Scene 3
(At the bus, the pets are dropped in the seat.)

Russell: I can't believe we're gonna go around the cartoon bus!

Sunil: I know, right?! It's like the town is so fucking beautiful.

Vinnie: Yeah, and so are those girls.

(The 3 girls giggles, Zoe groans.)

Pepper: Zoe, why are you not happy about the fact that those 3 guys are about to date one of us.

Zoe: I have a boyfriend, and he's right there. *points at Russell* So, me and Russell are dating.

Pepper: Really? Shit...

(Wander appears.)

Wander: Ok, bitches! Time for the Love Roof! Remember, if you get chosen, then you can get to go to the special free cruise for you and your chosen dates!

(Everybody cheers.)

(Wander chooses Collin and Jasmine, Cuddles and Giggles, Oggy and Olivia, Elisha and Grim, Brian and Stewie, and Daffy and Tina. He decides to choose one more.)

Wander: Ok, gang! One more couple to be chosen!!

Russell: Oh, fuck. *smiles*

Wander: *picks Russell up and places him in the Love Roof*

Russell: *silently* Come on, come on, Wander, please pick Zoe.

Zoe: *silently* Please, please, pick me so I can be with Russell.

(Wander comes and decides, and picks Zoe up and places her in the Love Roof.)

Russell: *gasps happily*

Zoe: Russell!! We've been chosen to the cruise together!

Russell: Fuck yeah!

(Camera zooms out to the chosen lovers.)

Vinnie: Aw, fuck!!

Sunil: God damn it...

(Screen goes to Russell and Zoe, who is talking.)

Russell: It's like a dream come true! We've been chosen!

Zoe: *howls happily* I know, right? Now those boy bitches will never see me till after the cruise!

Russell: Fuck yeah! But, what if we separated?

Zoe: We'll never be separated, but if we do, you're my life.

Russell: Yeah.

(Russell and Zoe touch tips.)

Wubbzy: *groans in disgust*

Scene 4
(At the bus, a panicked Apu came.)

Apu: Help!!! *goes up to the Love Roof*

Wander: What the fuck?! *tries to run up, but gets the roof closed* Damn it...

(At the Love Roof.)

Apu: Everybody!! Eric Cartman is about to flip the bus to kill us!!!

(Everybody gasps.)

Collin: The fuck?! You almost disturbed my time.

Russell: Apu? What the fuck are you doing?

Apu: Warning you that Cartman is gonna flip the bus!

Zoe: That mischievous cunt?! Oh, fuck...

Apu: "Oh, fuck" is right! That motherfucker! Who hates happy people! Hates love and many shit!

Stewie: Yeah, love created us, and fans as well. And being happy is great!

Apu: That's fucking true! He would use chainsaws to kill us! Now, it's time for me... To go away! *jumps off the bus and dies*

Wubbzy: *gasp*

Russell: Oh, fuck!

(Cartman pushes the boulder to make the bus crash, and it sends everyone who rides it off, including Sunil, who got lost, and the lovers fall.)

(Scene goes into the Saving Private Ryan-like scene where Russell opens his eyes, and we see Wander grieving about his bus.)

Wander: *crying* Why, you motherfucker, why?!!!

(Then, we see Elisha looking at her scrapped knee.)

Elisha: My fucking knee got scrapped!!

(We see Grim, being broken into pieces, finding his bones, Brian and Stewie being lost, Cuddles' face gets peeled off, and dies, and falls lifeless. And we see Jasmine grieving over a now lifeless Collin.)

Jasmine: *crying* My love is dead thanks to Cartman!

(Then, Zoe then tackles Russell.)

Zoe: Russell!!! We must run! Cartman's coming!

(Cartman appears with the giant Saw-like machine.)

(The cartoons ran, and Wander's bus is turned into scrap, Grim is grinded, Brian and Stewie trips and gets grinded as well. Elisha, Zoe and Russell successfully runs, but they trip into the ocean.)

Scene 5
(Russell wakes up and gets up in the middle of the city, he has lost his way.)

Russell: Goddamn it. I lost my home thanks to that fucking fat-ass bitch.

(He discovers he has lost Zoe as well.)

Russell: Oh, fuck. Not only I lost my way home and my cruise, but I also lost my Zoe.

(Russell walks, and screen fades to Zoe, who is middle of nowhere in the city.)

Zoe: Aw, that cock-sucking fat fucking bastard, I got lost! *sad* But, I actually feel sorry for Apu. I mean, God, I was going to have my happy cruise date with my boyfriend, Russell Ferguson! But, thanks to that fat-ass Eric Cartman bitch, it's ruined. Ruined! *faints*

(Zoe then hears Elisha crying and ranting, she gets up and we see Elisha sobbing on the ground.)

Elisha: *ranting about Cartman* That cock-sucking motherfucking bitch! He got me lost! *falls to her knees, sobbing, having blood marks on her face from her scrapped knee*

Zoe: Girl? Are you ok?

Elisha: *sobbing* No, I am not fucking okay! That damn bitch got me lost, grinded my new boyfriend and scrapped my fucking knee.

Zoe: Oh, sorry about your knee. *pats her* And your new boyfriend.

Elisha: *smiles and stops crying* Thanks.

Zoe: We'll find Russell, and stop Eric.

Elisha: Ok.

(Zoe and Elisha leaves.)

(Meanwhile at Russell.)

Russell: I got to find my girlfriend, and my home.

(Russell walks to the directions, but no hope.)

Russell: Fuck, well, I am officially lost.

(An mysterious cartoon then throws a treat at Russell.)

Russell: What the fuck? Someone just threw a treat at me.

(SpongeBob is peeking at him.)

SpongeBob: Follow me.

Russell: I can't trust strangers.

SpongeBob: If you wanna know where your home is, then follow me.

Russell: Well, OK.

(Russell then goes to SpongeBob and follows him.)

Scene 6
(We go to Cartman's fort in the forest and he returns.)

Cartman: What a good motherfucking day. Grinding people is successful. Now, i need to continue on working my plans to destroy the city.

(Cartman looks at his secret agenda to destroy the city, but it is missing.)

Cartman: Shit!! I need one more thing to do!

(Foxy appears.)

Foxy: I can help you with that!

Cartman: Foxy? What the fuck are you doing?

Foxy: I found out that you decided to become a baddie to those former friends, so... Why not join you in destroying the city.

Cartman: *sighs* I guess you can help me.

Foxy: Sweet! So, what do we do to destroy the city.

Cartman: First, we grind the people, which I finished, so check off for that, then we need to buy stuff to destroy the city, then we...

Foxy: Turn it to our land and make the residents our slaves.

Eric: *gasps* Brilliant...

Foxy: *talking about Eric's plans* You're planning to destroy the city. Oh, th-

Oh: Hello!

Foxy: For fucks sales, can you get the fuck out?

(Oh leaves)

Foxy: Weird fucking alien bitch, so, where we're we?

(Cartman continues talking to his plan.)

Foxy: Awesome!

(They evil laugh.)

Scene 7
(We go to the park (not the Downtown City Park, but the different park) where Russell stops.)

Russell: Where the fuck are we?

SpongeBob: Our fort. Welcome, friend.

Russell: Friend? You have anybody with you.

SpongeBob: In fact, yes. *Peel and Sunil appears*

Russell: Wait, Sunil?

Sunil: Russell? You're alive?

Russell: Yes!

SpongeBob: I'll tell you where it is... But first, I need to tell you about Cartman.

Russell: Cartman... That asshole! Tell me more about that fat blowjob.

SpongeBob: Cartman... Is a fat shithead that he hates everything, he destroys everything we love and he sent my friend, Patrick to the hospital.

Patrick: It's true.

Sunil: He even recently destroyed the fucking bus.

SpongeBob: Yes... He even killed my love of my life, Sandy Cheeks. *tear leaks* Now, that fucking asshole will pay.

Peel: Yeah! And he'll pay for eating my arm! *shows the eaten mark on his arm*

Russell: Oh my god, that bastard. Look, do you know where my home is.

Sunil: Yes! *uses the phone to put the LPS address* Here it is. *gives the phone to Russell* Careful, this shitty phone needs charging hold on. *charges the phone*

(Russell exits.)

(Screen goes to the city where Zoe.)

Zoe: My boyfriend's name is Russell Ferguson and he is a hedgehog unlike me.

Elisha: Oh, you have any boyfriends the same species as you.

Zoe: Used to. His name is Digby and he was sweet. Till he decided to become a fucking bitch to me and date Penny-Ling instead.

Elisha: Oh, my boyfriend I had, his name was Grim. He was like the dream. Till Cartman grinded him.

Wubbzy: Huh

Zoe: Sorry about him... Anyways, you know where our home is?

Elisha: Yes! I been there before!

Zoe: Really?

Elisha: Yes!

Zoe: I can't wait to see Russell again.

(Zoe and Elisha continued chatting.)

Scene 8
(Screen fades to Russell exiting the fort.)

Russell: Bye! Phone, take me home!

(Russell walks, where he walks to the Adult Swim Road, and at the Looney Tunes Road, where he walking till he is stopped by the Road Runner.)

Road Runner: Hello, bitch!

Russell: Who in the fuck are you?

Road Runner: The Road Runner, shithead. You're?

Russell: Russell. Russell Ferguson.

Road Runner: *sees the phone* Holy shit! That's a phone? I want that!

Russell: Fuck no, it's my only way home.

Road Runner: Well, if you want home, then you'll have to do it on your own, you blowjob! *snatches the phone from him*

Russell: Hey! Get back here with my fucking phone, you stupid shitty road runner! *chases Road, till he gets tired, sees ACME products seller/Cartoontown City police officer Wile E. Coyote's firework shoes* Wile E, can I borrow those!?

Wile E. Coyote: Sure, it's a dollar!

Russell: Come on, that Road Runner stole my phone and it's a emergency!

Wile E. Coyote: Okay! Okay! Take it for free! I don't give a fuck!

(Russell gets on the Firework Shoe, lights up using Wile E's cigarette and it starts speeding.)

Russell: I am coming for you, Road Douchebag!

(He successfully reaches him, but he grabs Russell and the Firework shoe explodes.)

Russell: What the fuck?!

Road Runner: Shut your goddamn mouth, he's here!

Russell: Who's here?

Road: The bad-ass bitch everyone knows... Eric Cartman.

(Foxy approaches.)

Russell: And that weird Foxy guy.

Road: What the? He has a partner now?

Russell: It appears to be.

Wubbzy: Those assholes

(Cartman goes to Wile E.)

Cartman: I want those dynamites.

Wile E. Coyote: Sure, it'll cost you 4 dollars.

Cartman: 4 dollars? 4 FUCKING DOLLARS!!! I want that pronto!

Wile E.: Why?

Cartman: I'll squish you like a Tear!

Savannah: Yes?

Cartman: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'LL SQUISH YOU INTO A FUCKING BUG!

Mark: Who? Me?

Foxy: Not fucking you! Him!

Wile E.: Okay, okay! 4 dynamites.

Russell: Oh, fuck

Scene 9
(Screen goes to Zoe and Elisha, who are walking in the Adult Swim road.)

Zoe: Wow... This road looks nice as fuck, but not as beautiful as Russell.

Elisha: Yeah, those fat guys, that squid and some guys.

Early: S'up? Want some beer?

Zoe: No thanks.

Early: Ok. *smokes cigarette*

Elisha: Have you seen Russell?

Early: I saw him walking on his phone to the Looney Tunes road, but if you wanna go to him, you'll have go through me first.

Zoe: Where will we go through you still?

Early: The play shoot off!

(Screen fades to the Adult Swim road where Zoe and Early are preparing for the pretend shoot-off.)

Early: I can prove that I am fucking good!

Zoe: Well, I am even better!

Early: Over my dead body and my balls!

Zoe: Your balls? Ok!

(Peter and Dudley Puppy come.)

Peter: Welcome to the new Pretend Shoot Off Contest where our champion Early try to go against a dog named Zoe Trent.

Zoe: That's right, you can get over with my singing!

Early: Fuck no, you stupid ass beast.

Zoe: Beast?! *angry*

Peter: Go!

(Zoe jumps at Early, and attacks him, injuring him.)

Early: Ow... Ok, ok, you win. And sorry that I called you beast, looks like you don't like it, huh?

Zoe: Nope! *kicks Early in the groin*

Early: My balls!

(Zoe and Elisha hear Cartman's loud scream.)

Wubbzy and Dudley Puppy: *gasp*

Zoe: Oh, fuck...

Early: Oh, no... Not Eric again. Guys, you need to leave! Now!

(Zoe and Elisha ran.)

Early: An another problem with that shithead is gonna happen. When will he ever stop.

Lois: Yes, that bitch.

Scene 10
(We go to the Looney Tunes road where Cartman is mad.)

Foxy: How about a drink at the beer bar?

Cartman: Good idea.

(Foxy and Cartman enter the saloon where some of the cartoon characters are smoking, some are playing cards and some are drinking beer.)

Bartender Skips: Hello, welcome to the Yosemite Saloon, how can I help you.

Cartman: I would like a rost beer. *gives Skips 6 dollars*

Skips: Ok. *takes six dollars and gives a rost beer to Eric*

(Russell and Road are peeking.)

Road: Yosemite Saloon? That is my favorite place to hang out.

Russell: Really?

Road: Yeah.

Russell: Holy shit.

Road: I already got a plan to piss them off.

Russell: Yeah, let's piss them the fuck off.

(Russell enters the saloon.)

Russell: Hello, bitches!!

(Cartman and Foxy looks, and angrily smiles)

Cartman: Well, you little cock-sucking fucking twat! I knew I'll see you!

Russell: It's the dream come true for you, huh?

Cartman: Die, you stupid little bastard!

Deedee: Excuse me?!

Cartman: NOT YOU! Shut your damn mouth, cockroach. Anyways, die, you stupid hedgehog!

Foxy: Yeah, die, you stupid cunt!

(Foxy and Cartman chases Russell.)

Russell: Come and catch me!

(Road grabs Russell and he rides him.)

Cartman and Foxy: Take that, you fucking dick *steps on Wubbzy's toe*

(Foxy and Cartman catch up, but they get hit by Wile E. Coyote.)

Wile E.: No running!

Foxy: Fuck you, you fucking faggot! *pulls the middle finger as Road and Russell successfully run away*

Cartman: Let's get the fuck out!

(Foxy and Cartman leaves.)

(Russell and Road looks at them leaving and laughs.)

Russell: That was awesome.

Road: Yeah, are you still going home?

Russell: Yes.

Road: Well, in that case. *gives Russell the phone back* Sorry I was the shitty asshole to you, Russell.

Russell: I forgive you, and thanks. Bye, friend!

Road: Bye! Good luck finding your home!

(Russell leaves.)

(Zoe and Elisha approaches, and sees Russell leaving.)

Zoe: Russell! *runs*

Scene 11
(Russell exits the Looney Tunes Road, and there is a party going on at the Cartoon Network Road.)

Russell: Holy shit... It looks.... Wild!

Prohyas: Hello, hedgehog! Are you ready for a bitch-in party?

Russell: No thanks.

Prohyas: Really, blowjob?

Russell: I'm fine.

Prohyas: You can even be a happy pet since we allow to have pets too! (Screen goes to the pets having a blast, and back to him) So, what do you say?

Russell: *sighs* Ok.

Prohyas: Good! If you want some food or treasure shit, they are right here! If something shitty happens, then call me!

Russell: Yes!

(Russell slowly starts dancing as Prohyas leaves.)

Russell: Oh my god, this is so damn awesome like a cock!

(Zoe and Elisha approaches.)

Zoe: Russell!

(Russell notices Zoe.)

Russell: Zoe?

Zoe: Russell!

(Zoe and Russell hugs.)

Elisha: So, you must be Russell Ferguson, huh?

Russell: Yup, and you're?

Elisha: Elisha Preston.

Russell: Nice to finally meet you, Elisha. Don't call me a porcupine because I am not, and I am Zoe's boyfriend.

Elisha: Yup, Zoe told me. My boyfriend is dead, his name is Grim and he got grinded.

Russell: Oh... Sorry about him.

Elisha: Thanks...

(Russell starts dancing.)

Zoe: *dancing* You dance nicely.

Russell: *dancing* Aw shit, thanks!

(Russell and Zoe danced, so did Elisha. They partied till they were done.)

Zoe: *tired* Well, that party was pretty fun

Russell: *tired* Yeah, I had a fucking blast!

Elisha: *tired* Same.

Scene 12
(Screen goes to the entrance of Downtown City Road where Cartman and Foxy goes to the sign.)

Cartman: Tomorrow at sunset, this stupid hedeghog will say goodbye to his home.

Foxy: Yeah! Wait, why are we destroying the city?

Cartman: So, we can build our own city and make the goddamn fucking residents as our slaves.

Foxy: Oh, yeah! I forgot, now I remember!

Cartman: Yes, once we do that shit, their lives will be fucked up forever.

Foxy: Yes! Fucked up forever!

Cartman: Don't do it.

Foxy: Sorry.

(Kyle, Stan and Kenny seeks.)

Kyle: First, that fucking whore unfriended us, now he is gonna destroy our city?!

Stan: I know this day would come.

Kenny: *muffles (meaning: That fucking cunt!)*

Stan: That's right!

Kyle: We have to warn everybody about this!

Kenny: *muffles (Meaning: What about Russell and Zoe?)*

Kyle: Oh, shit! We have gotta warn them!

Stan: Yeah, but how?

Kyle: When we see them, we have to warn them!

(Cartman hears them, and sees them.)

Cartman: What?! What the fuck you're doing here?!

Kenny: *muffles (meaning: Oh, fuck)*

Kyle: Shut up, former friend!

Cartman: Seriusly? That is as a smooth move!!!

Smooth Move: Smooth Move's my name.

Cartman: GET THE FUCK OUT!

(He leaves.)

Cartman: Anyways, well, you bastards, time to put you in the chamber of captured and injured people!!!

Foxy: Yeah, room full of injured cunts!

Cartman: Shut your motherfucking mouth, you stupid dumbass dummy.

Foxy: Sorry.

(Cartman and Foxy drags them to the chamber.)

Scene 13
(Screen fades to the dawn where Russell, Zoe and Elisha are walking in the near entrance of Downtown City Road.)

Zoe: Well, we're almost home.

Russell: Fuck yeah!! But *phone dies* Oh, shit...

Zoe: "Oh, fuck" what?

Russell: Our only way just died.

Zoe: That fucking phone?! You are kidding me, nigga, now we'll never find out.

Elisha: Wait... You used the fucking phone instead of me?! You didn't need me after all. *mad* YOU FUCKING PETS!!

Russell: We're sorry!!

Elisha: Not yet... I do love pets, but you two are just... Terrible!!

Zoe: Terrible?! *growls* GET THE FUCK OUT NOW, YOU TEAR CUNT!!

(Elisha is hit by Zoe's words and flies off sadly.)

Zoe: God damn bitch...

Russell: Why? Why did you hurt Elisha's feelings?! We were starting to like her.

Zoe: She was a fucking bitch to me!

Russell: At least you still have me, even if we die, then we will be together.

(Zoe smiles, but as Zoe and Russell are about to kiss, Cartman and Foxy captures Russell.)

Foxy: Got you, you damn hedge-bitch!!

Zoe: Russell!! Foxy, bring Russell down right this instant!

Foxy: Never, you ugly dog!! *kicks Zoe*

Russell: Zoe!!!

Cartman: You're coming with us, hedgehog, to the chamber of our captured and injured people.

Zoe: No...

Russell: Zoe!!... No. *in tears*

Cartman: Soon, we will destroy your home! When we say home, we mean all over the city!

Elisha: *hears Cartman's plans* Oh, no...

(Cartman and Foxy leaves with Russell, with a broken Zoe.)

Zoe: *gasps* They're gonna destroy the city?! We're fucked...

Elisha: Yeah.

Zoe: Elisha?! I told you to fuck off.

Elisha: Yeah, I'm sorry I was a bitch to you.

Zoe: What?... *sighs* I know it's too early, but I'm sorry that I yelled. Anyways, we need to find the chamber and save the city.

Scene 14
(Russell is taken to the fort where he is slated in the chamber.)

Foxy: This is your home from now on, hedgehog. *leaves*

Russell: No... *sobs* My sweet Zoe... And my home, are gonna die soon... *sobs*

(Then, an girl from The Chronicles of Collin the Speedy Boy, who appears to be crying in her knees.)

Russell: Hello?

(Caillou and Mario surrounds him.)

Mario: Stop right here, shithead!!

Caillou: What the fuck are you doing?

Russell: Excuse me, I am just talking to that crying girl.

(Lagan, with tear marks, looks at Russell.)

Lagan: So, you're that new hedgehog that my members are talking about?

Russell: Members?

(Then, the 4 members tracked him down.)

Lumpy: What brings you here, you stupid hedgehog bastard?

Tom: He was brought here, you stupid idiot!

Lumpy: Oh.

(A tearful Lagan gets up.)

Lagan: Guys, get off the hedgehog. *to Russell* What is your name?

Russell: Uh... Russell Ferguson.

Mario: *creepily* Hello, Russell Ferguson. *normal* Sorry that's a bit creepy, anyways, nice to meet you, Russell.

Russell: Who are you guys?

Tom: We're the Cartoon Punishers, you motherfucker!

Russell: "The Cartoon Punishers?" Fuck, that's one hell of a cool name.

Lumpy (smoking a cigarette): I know, right? Want one?

Russell: No, thanks.

Lumpy: Yeah, I'm the only member who smokes. Others think smoking is bad, which is slightly true.

Mario: That is true.

Tom: The moose is Lumpy, the plumber is Mario, I'm Tom, the preschooler is Caillou, and our leader is Lagan Fuller, who appears to be topless, because Cartman stoled her bra due to the fact that he likes tits.

Mario: Yeah, Cartman stoled it.

Lumpy: Yeah, and I sorta likes tits too...

Caillou: Stop mentioning tits, guys! Seriously, we don't wanna make our leader mad. Anyways, we would like to help you.

Lagan: (sad) Like Caillou said, what is the problem?

Russell: This shitty phone is dead.

Lumpy: How the fuck does it work?

Tom: The charger, you fuck!

(Russell brings the phone to the plugger and it charges, but in the process, sees the key beside it.)

Russell: Some asshole decided to leave the key inside. *gasps* The key!

Scene 15
(Meanwhile, Zoe and Elisha is trying to find the way to warn the citizens.)

Zoe: Where is the main building that controls the screens in the city?!

Elisha: *sees one* Right here!!

Zoe: *sighs* Let's do it.

(Citizens are enjoying their usual time, till the tv screens on the buildings turn on.)

Zoe (on Tv): Is this thing on? Good. Hello, you may not know me, I am Zoe Trent, I am Russell's girlfriend. Russell is a hedgehog in Downtown City Road.

Beavis: Russell? That fucker?

Butthead: I know, right?

Zoe (on TV): I have something important! Our city is in great peril because that Cartman bastard and his fucked pal is planning to destroy our home.

(Citizens gasps.)

Oggy: I knew this day would come!

Eli: We're fucked!

Zoe (on TV): Calm down! There is a way to stop this!

Tip: How?! How in the bloody fuck will we do this?!!

Cow: Yeah!

Rocko: Would we win and survive? For me, no! We'll more likely to die!

Zoe (on TV): Everyone calm the fuck down!

Turbo: Calm down?! WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD WE CALM DOWN?!

Twilight: Yeah, we had a happy life, till you told us that Cartman is destroying our city!!!

Cod Commando: Not only this damn city is our home, but it is our life!!

Penny, Minka and Pepper: Zoe?

The Tears: We would likely to lose!

Dragons: Yeah!

Zoe: *worried* Oh, no...

(Meanwhile, Cartman and Foxy are bringing what they need to destroy the city.)

Cartman: *checking the time, which is at 12 p.m* Perfect, 5 more hours till the end of Cartoontown City!

Foxy: Yeah! The end of the fucked city!

Cartman: Stop it! I'll squish you like a tiny copper bastard!

Cooper: Yes?

Cartman: For the love of shit, not fucking you, boob.

(Cooper leaves.)

Foxy: Sorry!

Scene 16
(Meanwhile at the chamber, Russell is using the key to struggle to break out.)

Caillou: If that key is wrong, we're fucked for life!

Mario: Yeah!

Lagan: Please, please work.

Russell: We'll never break out!

(Then, the key unlocks the cell.)

(Lagan and the 4 members cheered.)

Russell: Yes! We're free!! *looks at the clock* Oh, fuckety, fuck fuck, it's 12 now! We have time to save the city.

(Russell ran, but was stopped by Lagan.)

Lagan: We need to save the injured people first.

(Russell frees the 6 injured people, three being Stan, Kyle and Kenny.)

Kyle: Thanks you.

Stan: Yes. We needed to escape.

Kenny: Hmhnhm ("Somebody can tell me what the fuck happens")

Rigby: Thanks, hedgehog.

Chester: I could've never survived with shit, thanks, hedgehog.

Russell: Welcome, and I am Russell. Whoa, what happened to you?

Rigby: He broke my goddamn legs!

Chester: He made me lose my eye, hence my eye patch.

Wubbzy: He just stepped on my toe

Sputnik: *peeks*

Mario: What did he do to you to abuse you?

Sputnik: You don't wanna fucking know..

Lagan: Time for us, including you, Russell, to save the city!

Russell: Let's do this!... But how will we do it quickly.

(Russell, the Cartoon Punishers and the injured cartoons go outside the chamber where we see the motorcycle.)

Caillou: Will this answer, Russell?

Russell: *gasps* Perfect!

(Lagan, Russell, and the cartoons hopped on the motorcycle and they rode to the Cartoontown City.)

Russell: Zoe and my home, We're coming to save you!

(As the motorcycle passes, Cartman and Foxy realizes that they broke out.)

Foxy: They broke out!!

Cartman: Shit!

Foxy: What are we gonna do now, friend?

Cartman: Change of plan, we'll destroy it now. (Grins evilly)

Scene 17
(Zoe is seen laying in the main building with Elisha.)

Zoe: I'm fucked...

Elisha: I'm sorry, Zoe that it didn't work out.

(Then, the explosion is heard.)

Zoe: What the?

(Zoe sees the city being burned down.)

(The citizens noticed.)

Turbo: Oh, no... The city is going to be destroyed soon!

Eli: Shit! They went ahead and started it?!

Dudley Puppy: Uh oh

Flappy: RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIVES!!!

(The citizens starts panicking.)

(Cartman and Foxy clinger bombs at the city, killing the citizens, till 5 remaining streets were left, and they finally goes to the main building.)

Foxy: Hello, bitch!

Cartman: Hope you enjoyed it, because this is your last time! Bye, bye.

(But as Cartman tried to kill the dog, the motorcycle came, and they stopped him.)

Russell: Leave my girlfriend alone, you bitch!

Cartman: Oh, fuck... Well, well, well, if it isn't that wimpy weak porcupine.

Russell: Hedgehog, and I brought my new friends.

(Lagan, the injured cartoons and The Cartoon Punishers approaches.)

Foxy: Well, my case, you're dumb! *grabs Russell and throws him of the building*

Zoe: RUSSELL!!

(Russell falls, but was saved by a cartoon, who turns out to be Road, SpongeBob, his friends, Peel and Sunil.)

Road: We found out that the city is in great peril, so we're helping you saving it.

Peel and Sunil: Fuck yeah!

Russell: *smiles*

SpongeBob: Now let's save this awesome city from those bitches!

(Russell, Road, Peel, Sunil and Spongebob ran to save the city.)

Scene 18
(At the building, Cartman is about to kill Zoe, till Early stopped him.)

Early: You mess with her, you mess with me, bitch!

Cartman: Oh, really? That simple southern-accented bastard? It's on! I'll defeat you like a leaping king.

King Julien: Hello.

Cartman: For fuck's sakes, get out!

(He leaves)

(Foxy exited the building to kill Russell.)

(Meanwhile, Russell goes to the speakers and talks.)

Russell (on microphone): Everyone stop panicking.

(Everyone stops panicking.)

Russell (on microphone): Look, the city is in great peril thanks to those bitches, but I'll tell you one thing we can do... Stop them! Listen, we have loved everything in our city, every citizens cared for each other in this town, and most importantly, we love this town, and now, it's time for us to fight them to protect our city.

(Citizens nod in agreement, but Foxy and Cartman approaches.)

Russell: You!!

(Eric flings Russell to the giant vertical axe.)

Russell: *gasps* Idea...

(Cartman and Foxy are on the microphone, saying their speech of the citizens saying goodbye.)

Foxy: Any last words before the city goes bye-bye?

Caillou: The city is staying alive. *Punches both Cartman and Foxy in the face*

Wubbzy and Dudley Puppy: Feel the slaps *both slap Cartman and Foxy in the face*

Sputnik: *shoves both Foxy and Cartman off the stage* Take that!

(Chester, Mario and Lumpy is throwing rocks, hitting them.)

Cartman: Stop that!

Tom: *uses the rope to let the vertical axe go*

Cartman: Oh, no. *runs*

(Foxy tries to get up, but he landed on the glue side, he looks at he is about to get sliced.)

Foxy: *discovers that the vertices axe is going on his body; last words* Oh, fuck.

(Foxy gets sliced in half off-screen)

Cartman: Oh, shit! Oh, fuck!

Zoe: Ready to give up, you fuckface?

Cartman: No! I can still destroy the fucking city. I can still make you my fucking slaves without Foxy! I can still do that and I will not give up!! Never giving up like a wimpy Billy, mean Oggy and that fucking VoodooFinger.

(Voodoo and Billy are scared, while Oggy runs)

Oggy: AHHHH! WE'RE GONNA TO DIE!!!

Cartman: That's right, you better shut your mouth. I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!

Russell: I'm afraid you'll have to think again.

Cartman: Huh? (Lit up Firework shoes are on him) Oh, fuck..

Wile E.: No destroying the city.

Caillou: So long in prison, bitch! *gives the middle finger*

(The firework shoes speeds Cartman around, and around the whole city and finally gets him in the prison car and the shoes explode as Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Wubbzy and Dudley Puppy give Cartman the middle fingers.)

Kyle: It's time to recive your consecuences!

Cartman (in the police car): Aw, shit. (Police car drives off.)

Scene 19
(Note: This scene contains the ending orgy scene)

(The citizens cheered.)

Russell: We did it... We did it!!!

Everyone: Russell! Russell! Russell!

Lagan: I knew you can do it, Russell.

Zoe: *smiles*

Elisha: Well done, Russell, well done.

Zoe: Russell... My hero.

Russell: *smiles*

Zoe: You're not only the hero of me, but you are also the hero of the city.

(Everyone cheers.)

(Russell and Zoe kiss, then they start the orgy.)

(Everyone gasps)

Elisha: *shocked* Holy shit...

Lagan: What the fucking hell?

(The citizens talked.)

Turbo: Should we do it?

Oh: Fuck yeah!

(Then, the citizens decided to do a orgy as well, where we see Oh kissing Tip, Oggy digging Jack's butt and sniffing it, Haley having sex on Elisha, Mario having butt sex on Lumpy, Savannah and Austin cuddling, Peter and Caillou touching Lagan's tits, Early sucking Mordecai's (offscreen; censored) dick, Jasmine mating with the now revived Collin, Wander and Slyvia having sex on each other, and Macie touching Eli's butthole, and sex goes on, while Dudley is walking around during the orgy.)

Dudley: *walking around till he finds Kitty* Kitty!

Kitty: Hello! Ready?

Dudley: Fuck yeah I am!

(Then, he starts having sex on her, and it continues where we see Wubbzy having sex on Sofia, Nancy sucking on Aaron's (offscreen; censored) dick, Mickey having butt-sex on Goofy, Flappy mating on Fashion, Caleigh and Walden having sex on each other, and we see Russell and Zoe pulling the drainer out of Lagan's ass.)

Lagan: OH, FUCK YEAH!

(Then, Baylee Mardis is seen waving her butt at Lumpy, Jerry and Tom humping, and finally, Elisha, Russell, Zoe, Lagan and the others finally have sex on each other, so after those, the orgy ended.)

(Hours after the orgy, Russell and Zoe are seeing the dawn.)

Zoe: We won, and our city is safe for now, and so are we.

Russell: Yeah. Fuck the Love Roof and cruise, we are loved.

Zoe: Yeah.

(Elisha, Lagan, the Cartoon Punishers and the injured cartoons approaches.)

Elisha: Hey, guys.

Russell: Hey, Elisha, and hey Lagan!

Lagan: S'up, Russell. Mind if we move here?

Russell: Really, move to the city?

Lagan: Yeah, to hang out with you guys.

Lumpy: You are the most heroic hedgehog I've ever met.

Mario: Same here.

Sputnik: Fuck yeah.

Russell: Well, I guess you can join us in a talk.

(Lagan and the cartoons sat, where they talked about love and their lives, and camera goes up to the dawn, where the sun shines and before the movie could end, a offscreen Mickey Mouse fell for his rear death experience.)

Mickey Mouse (offscreen): Oh, fuck!

Ryan (offscreen): Hands Up! Nobody make a single move

Russel: Holy shit!

(Ryan holds up a sword and the movie ends.)

Credits
Cartoon Mayhem/Credits

After-credit scene
(We go to the prison where Cartman is now in prison.)

Cartman: Come on, this is fucking bullcrap! Let me out!

Cheif Hound: You're not going anywhere for a long time! Ha ha, Long time!

Cartman: This is inhumane! There's a big bucket of poop in here, and there's nothing to eat!

Cheif Hound: Ya got poop, don't ya?

Cartman: Yes, but I don't want to eat shit.

Cheif Hound: Well, you should've known better before trying to destroy the city.

Cartman: *goans, silently* I fucking hate that butt bitch.

(Clyde appears.)

Clyde: Yes?

(Cartman has a pissed off face.)

(Movie ends.)