Hooked on Monkey Fonics

Hooked on Monkey Fonics is episode 12 of season 3 and the 43rd overall episode of Comedy Central's animated series Danville. It originally aired on November 10, 1999. It features issues of homeschooling and phonics, a method of teaching children to read.

Plot
In preparation for a spelling bee, Arnold Shortman's grandfather Phil buys him a "Hooked on Monkey Fonics" system that features an actual live monkey playing the drums to keep with the beat of spelling and sounding out the words. After spelling a couple of words, Arnold believes he will have a chance to win the spelling bee. While at the spelling bee, the children face stiff competition from two homeschooled children, Rebecca and Mark Cotswalds. Arnold asks the monkey to help him spell his word, chair, but Phonics Monkey is masturbating, and Arnold misspells it as "C-H-A-R-E"; angered, he runs off to chase the monkey. In the final round, Phineas Flynn is unable to spell his word, "Kroxldyphivc" (which in reality isn't an actual word), correctly and Rebecca and Mark are declared the champions. Although Phineas is annoyed at having been beaten, he ends up developing a crush on Rebecca.

Mark becomes intrigued by the interactions he sees between Arnold, Phineas, Ferb and Curly, and begs his father to be allowed to attend public school. His father objects due to how dangerous public schools can be, but reluctantly relents. At the school, Mark, placed in a largely protective hamster ball by his overpossesive/overprotective father, is tormented for his haughty attitude and superior knowledge, and ends up duct taped to a bench by the other boys. This prompts Mark's father to speak with the adults in Skeeter's Bar and Cocktails about the incident and the fact that Phineas has become smitten with Rebecca and should stop pursuing her. The adults are quick to dislike him as much as the kids dislike Mark; after learning that he does not drink beer but prefers wine coolers, they proceed to duct tape Mark's father to one of the bar's benches.

After questioning Mark about why he has never been seen before and why he does not attend school like the other children, Arnold is introduced to the concept of home schooling. The idea of never having to go to school appeals to him greatly, and, using Mr. Garrison's condescending remarks towards him as an excuse, demands to be home schooled himself. To him, this involves a regimen of sleeping in and sitting in bed while snacking and watching television, while his mother unsuccessfully attempts to get him to study. When Ferb and Curly come to visit to tell him about the Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance, Phonics Monkey kills Curly.

Meanwhile, Phineas makes many efforts to make his feelings known to Rebecca, although several end up humorously unsuccessful. Ultimately he convinces her to explore the world of public schooling, and she agrees to go to the Danville dance with him. He also explains what love is to her and, out of curiosity, she asks Phineas if she can experiment a kiss with him, to which he agrees. After kissing him, Rebecca immediately changes when she agrees to Phineas' dance proposal ("You bet your sweet ass I'll go.")

At the dance, the band Dio plays their song "Holy Diver". The boys of the school hatch a plan to duct tape Mark to the flagpole while the adults also hatch a similar plan for Mark's father. When Rebecca enters the dance dressed up promiscuously and kissing every boy in sight, Mark is outraged and attacks Phineas for turning his sister "into a slut." The other boys perceive his beating up Phineas as cool and finally accept him; Lawrence Fletcher breaks up the fight, with Mark warning his son he's not through with him. Mr. and Mrs. Cotswald arrive and interrupt the dance, looking for their children so they could leave. Mark gets onstage and makes a speech to his parents (particularly to his father) about the benefits of public schools - "...it's the main place where children learn all of their social skills. You can't teach a child social skills. They have to learn them themselves." Mr. Cotswald, affected by his son's speech, agrees to let Rebecca and Mark regularly attend public school; Rebecca and Phineas then share a kiss. Mark's father, however, is then duct taped to the flagpole in front of the school by the adults, regardless of his change in attitude and opinion. Dio restarts and plays "Holy Diver" over the end credits, with Phonics Monkey joining in on drums.

Cast

 * Trey Parker as Arnold Shortman, Phineas Flynn, Grandpa Shortman
 * Matt Stone as Ferb Fletcher, Curly McCormick
 * Tress MacNeille as Linda Fletcher, Helga Pataki
 * Rob Paulsen as Lawrence Fletcher
 * Jamil Walker Smith as Gerald Johanssen
 * Mary Kay Bergman as Rebecca Cotswolds
 * Frank Welker as Mark Cotswolds, Mr. Cotswolds
 * Olivia Hack as Rhonda Lloyd