Banjo the Woodpile Cat (film)/Transcript

Chapter 1: The Night Banjo was Born
(Song "He Couldn't Be Good" plays as the scene cuts to a map of Utah followed by the opening credits. It eventually zooms to a map of Payson, Utah. Finally, it zooms to a small farm with a woodpile as the song and credits. It is nighttime at the farm and the camera zooms to the house)

Narrator: Our story begins one night at the Jones residence. On this special night, three kittens are born...

(In the living room, a family and their cats look at the basket of hairless kittens with their eyes closed)

Banjo’s father - ah. Two girls and a boy.

Banjo’s mother - and one of them looks a lot like you.

Banjo's father: Heh, he sure does. Hmm... what names do you suggest?

Banjo’s mother - One will be called Emily, one will be Jean. And He’ll be called...?

Banjo’s Father - Uh... (hears banjo music from a radio.) Banjo?

Banjo's mother: Banjo? Very cute name. And once a few days pass...

Man: (To the woman) Well, Mary, I guess we have the luckiest cats in the world.

Mary: Indeed we do, George.

(Mary and George's daughter, Penelope, goes by Banjo's mother and father)

Penelope: They're all adorable! (To her parents) Mama, papa, do we have enough cat food to feed them?

Mary: Of course, Penelope. We just bought enough food.

(Banjo's parents look out the window. The stars are twinkling tonight)

Banjo's mother: Rusty, it looks like we've got a bright future ahead of us.

Rusty: Yes. You’re right, Amber.

(A few days later, On a moonless night, Banjo and his sisters have grown a little with fur and are about to open their eyes in a few moments. Penelope, Rusty, Amber, George and Mary notice this and smile)

Amber - Here it comes, Rusty. (Emily opens Her Eyes first, then Jean, then Banjo.)

Rusty: Hello there. (in Banjo’s point of view, He sees a blurry Rusty, then the blurs even out.)

(Each of the kittens rise up and look around in curiosity. Banjo slowly approaches Rusty.)

Rusty: Hello there, Banjo.

(Banjo looks up and sees His father’s face. Then Banjo feels His father’s wrist, and falls asleep.)

Amber: Isn't he cute?

Rusty: He sure is.

(Rusty softly scratches Banjo‘s head as Emily and Jean approach Amber)

Mr. Jones: If I have my camera, this would have been a moment that we can treasure for generations.

(Rusty, along with Amber and their kittens look up at the night sky.)

Rusty - Amber, Kids, look at the sky. (They look up.) It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it? And with that many stars in the sky, You can only imagine.

(Transition to a few weeks later...)

Narrator: However, as Banjo grew up, the real trouble began...

Chapter 2: Banjo's Mischief
(At sunrise, Banjo sees a chicken leave the coop and He tries to stop the chicken from leaving.)

Banjo - Hey, come back! stop!

Emily - Jean, looks like Banjo’s having some trouble.

Jean - I’ll say. Chickens can be tricky to control.

(Rusty chases Banjo)

Rusty - Banjo, chasing a chicken will make them more erratic!

Banjo - What?!

(Mr. Jones steps outside and notices Banjo, Rusty and the chicken running)

Mr. Jones: Doggone it, Banjo!

(Mr. Jones chases Banjo, as well.)

Banjo - (To the running chicken) Come on, go back to the coop!

Rusty - Son, I said chasing a chicken will make them erratic.

Banjo - What's erratic mean? (Rusty sighs exasperatedly)

Rusty - It means unpredictable!

Mr. Jones - (To Banjo) Stop chasing that chicken!

(Banjo trips, then the chicken turns around and pecks Banjo mercilessly.)

Rusty - Banjo!

(Mr. Jones shoos the chicken away from Banjo.)

Mr. Jones: Henrietta, you leave Banjo alone and go back to the coop!

(Henrietta does so)

Mr. Jones: That was close. At least Henrietta won’t try anything like that again.

Rusty - Son, I hope You learned something.

Banjo - Yes, dad. Never let the chicken leave the coop, ever.

Rusty - No, No. never chase a chicken to go back to the coop.

Emily - Not even our brother deserved being pecked like that.

Jean - You said it.

Narrator - Of course, that wasn't the end of it...

(Transition to Banjo gathering twigs and broken branches in a pile, with Rusty noticing.)

Rusty - What are you doing, Banjo?

Banjo - Well, Dad, I’m constructing a woodpile. I mean, that includes branches and twigs, right?

Rusty - Uh... Yes. Just... make sure you don't get yourself hurt. Um... are some of the branches rotting? Because rotted wood could have poison ivy or termites.

(Banjo checks the branches)

Banjo - Hmm. I can’t tell. most of the bark is intact, but... the insides are dark. (He moves on to make His woodpile as His father starts to worry, the a scene changes to morning)

Narrator - After a few days went on, Banjo was determined to make as big a woodpile as possible.

Banjo - Whew. it took three days, but it's complete. and it's all mine.

Emily - Banjo, what is that?

Jean - Looks like a tree half-buried.

Banjo - It's a woodpile. (Climbs up on the woodpile) and if You think You can steal it from Me, you're sorely mistaken.

Emily - Well, He's got the "sorely" part right.

Jean - I don't think Our brother should even be on the woodpile at all.

(Banjo starts to twitch)

Banjo - Uh-oh. (He falls down and twists His ankle.) Ow!

Emily - Ow is right.

Jean - You heard something like “the bigger they are”, right? (They both laugh, but they stop the second they see Rusty.)

Rusty - (Checking the ankle) Hmm. It’s not too serious. It’ll be okay after a few days, son. (He sees Emily and Jean try to sneak off.) also... (Emily and Jean react.) laughing at others expense, including your brother is not allowed. (Emily and Jean feel bad.) I mean, what if Banjo had a more serious injury, or worse?

(Inside the barn at night, Rusty has a conversation with His son.)

Rusty - Son, I know You’re only trying to help, keeping the chickens from leaving the farm, gathering wood for the winter, but it didn’t help much. but Once Your ankle heals, I’ll give You a task that most cats couldn’t fail at. Believe me.

Banjo - I— ok, Dad.

(The sun rises over the farm.)

Narrator - After a few days, Rusty felt that it was time for His son to catch mice and rats. Thus...

Rusty - Son, Your new task will be a mouser.

Banjo - But doesn’t being a mouse involve having a taste for cheese, or becoming small as that barn doorstop? (Rusty tries to stifle His laughter.)

Rusty - No! No. What I mean to say is that I'm going to teach how to catch a mouse and eat it.

(Banjo’s Sisters and Mother see what’s going on.)

Banjo - wha-- Doesn't a mouse taste horrible or do they have... diseases?

Rusty - You'd never know. (Rusty sees a rat.) There’s one! get Him!

(Banjo goes after the rat, but while Chasing the rat, Banjo accidentally knocks over an empty milk carrier and bucket, then crashes into a hay bale. But Banjo manages to get the Rat.)

Banjo - I finally got it!

Rusty: Well, now that you've got the rat, you'll have to eat it.

Banjo - Hmm. (Sniffs the rat.) weird smell, (Licks the rat.) Ugh! Tastes worse!

Rusty - Son, don’t be so picky!

(Amber enters)

Amber - What’s going on, Rusty?

Rusty: Well, Banjo caught the rat, and will eat it.

Amber - Eat it?

Banjo - (to the rat.) I’m letting You go. But, promise Me You won’t come back to cause any trouble. (The rat panics and leaves the farm.)

Rusty: (facepalming) No, no, no, Banjo. Capturing the rat, and telling it to leave is a bad idea.

Amber - Rusty, Our kids are still young. Besides, look at Emily and Jean. (They see their daughters closing their eyes.) not even they want to eat a mouse at their age.

Rusty: I know, Amber, but Banjo has to eventually learn that life isn't all fun and games. besides, chances are that rat will come back and believe Me, it won't be alone.

Amber - You can't force-feed maturity, Rusty. things take time.

Narrator: As more time passed, Banjo started to become a bit mischievous around the Jones farm. (images of Banjo climbing a woodchip silo.)

Emily's Voice - You could get stuck the second You're inside.

Banjo's Voice - Aw, haven't You heard of "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained"?

(In image of Banjo stuck in a tree.)

Jean's voice - We'd... better get Dad to help Banjo down.

(An Image of Banjo slipping and sliding on a frozen pond as His sisters laugh.)

Rusty voice - Well, at least He didn't cause any trouble today.

Chapter 3: Off to Obedience School
(Inside the house, Banjo listens to a radio.)

Man in Radio - So, You're saying a cat's most sensitive body part is the whiskers?

Man in Radio 2 - Yes. the pain You could say is worse than a bee sting on a cat's paws.

Banjo - Hmm. Really?

(Outside, Banjo is asleep.)

Emily - Um, Jean, is Banjo...?

Jean - Maybe... (Shakes up Banjo's head causing Him to wake up.)

Emily - Yah! Zombie!

Banjo - Sisters, Wait! A Radio show says that a cat's whiskers are more sensitive than anywhere on a cat's body. Is that true?

Emily - Of course a cat's whiskers are very sensitive! They're vital to Our way of life!

Banjo - Really?

Narrator: Later that night, Mr. Jones had put up with Banjo's antics for the last time. So, he knew what had to be done.

(At the living room, The Jones family gathers around.)

Mr. Jones: I have had it up to here with Banjo's shenanigans. It's high time he learns how to grow up!

(Banjo stirs from the noise)

Mr. Jones: I say that we should send him to the Midvale obedience school.

Mrs. Jones: But, George, he's only a kitten. You can’t rush maturity. Besides, isn’t It for puppies?

Mr. Jones: Mary, I have done some research on that school and its brochure says that it also accepts cats.

Mrs. Jones - Still, it’s over 60 miles away.

Mr. Jones: Mary, if you don't mind my saying so, Banjo must learn that not everything in life is all fun and games.

(Banjo overheard this and feels sad)

Mr. Jones: Sooner or later, he has to grow up to be a proper cat.

Banjo - (thinking) A proper cat? (sheds tears then heads for the woodpile and sleeps under it.)

Rusty's Voice: Banjo has to eventually learn that life isn't all fun and games.

Mr. Jones' Voice: Banjo must learn that not everything in life is all fun and games.

(Banjo then starts to cry as He sleeps alongside His sisters, who were partially awake.)

Banjo: (Crying) I don't think Mr. Jones and Dad love me anymore... I guess I should leave home tomorrow...

(Back inside the house...)

Penelope: Please, papa, don't send him away!

Mr. Jones: Penelope, keep out of this. I'm going to call the obedience school first thing in the morning.

(Transition to the next morning)

Narrator: Sure enough, Mr. Jones kept his word. By the next morning...

(Mr. Jones picks up an asleep Banjo and puts Him in an animal crate.)

Obedience School Driver - Worry not, Mr. Jones. Before the week is over, Banjo will be more well behaved.

Mr. Jones: Well, see that he does. (Banjo starts to wake up.)

Banjo - Ahh... Wha— (Finds out He’s in an animal crate.) What In— I’m in an animal crate? I’m being taken to an animal shelter?

Mr. Jones: (To the Driver) And make sure that he becomes proper and obedient by the end of the month.

Driver - You can count on it.

(They drive away in the van as Banjo looked at His family while shedding tears.)

Banjo - They... they gave Me up. (Sheds Tears.)

Narrator: And that was the day that Banjo's adventure began....

Chapter 4: Welcome to Salt Lake City
(In the crate, Banjo is trying to get out.)

Narrator - As The truck was few miles away from the obedience school, Banjo who believed that the family gave Him up to the shelter, tries desperately to get out.

Banjo - Someone! Anyone! Help! (Tries to get out, and when the truck hits a bump, the truck’s back door opens, and Banjo’s crate falls out and lands on the road which breaks apart, as the truck drives away.) Ow.

(Banjo looks around)

Banjo: Where am I? There’s not many trees, and so Loud... worse, I can never go home...

(He is too frightened to walk around, But slowly approaches a small alley.)

Banjo: Hello? Is anybody here?

(A tall, bony straycatcher emerges with a net)

Straycatcher - Ah. A kitten. You’ll fetch me quite a small fortune. (Goes after Banjo, Banjo makes a run for it.) Hey, Boris! Help me catch that cat! (Banjo runs to a construction site.)

Banjo: That guy sure looks scary. (Creeps through some construction equipment and through a few pipes.) They won't find me in here.

Straycatcher: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Don't you go hiding from Uncle Perry. (Banjo exits the construction site, and escapes the straycatchers, by going inside a discarded box.)

Banjo: What am I gonna do now? Mom... Dad... I want to go home... (the rain starts to fall as the screen blacks out.)

(The screen changes to the farm, where inside, Mr. Jones picks up the phone.)

Mr. Jones: Yes, this is Mr. George Jones. Oh, Mr. Deacon. How's Banjo's first day at the Obedience School? (His eyes widen with shock) What?! What do you mean Banjo is missing?!

Mr. Deacon (from phone) - I’m terribly sorry, Sir. When I came to get Banjo, He and His animal crate was missing. And without a license around His neck, it will be difficult to locate Him.

Mr. Jones: I see... Thank you for calling... (Hangs up) Ohh... I can’t believe it. Banjo’s missing. I have to search for Him.

Mrs. Jones - Search for who? (Mr. Jones is startled.)

Mr. Jones - Wha— (Rusty and Amber listen from outside.) Well, The Obedience School called, and--

Mrs. Jones - ...And Banjo is having fun there?

Mr. Jones - No, He’s missing! They told Me Banjo and His animal crate was missing Before they reached the school.

(Rusty, Mrs. Jones and Amber gasp with horrified looks on their faces)

Mrs. Jones: (Shocked) What?!

Mr. Jones: We have to find Banjo. (Gets on his coat) Poor Banjo... lost somewhere between Home and who knows where--

Mrs. Jones - Did Banjo think He was going to the animal shelter? I think I saw Him crying when He was in the van.

Mr. Jones - Well, I don’t know. We've got to find Banjo!

Mrs. Jones: But what about Penelope?

Mr. Jones: It's best She doesn't know. She'll be devastated. Come on! Hurry! (Penelope who was planting seeds, heard the conversation and begins to shed tears.)

Amber - Rusty, where are you going?

Rusty - I’m going to find Our son. Besides, this is all my fault. I never should have tried to force Him to grow up.

Amber - Well, I’m going, too.

Rusty - No! What about Jean and Emily? They can’t survive without their mom.

Amber: Our son can’t survive either.

Rusty - Good point.

(Mr. and Mrs. Jones rush out the door as Rusty follows.)

Mr. Jones - Sorry, Rusty. You and the others will have to stay home and keep Penelope company.

(Rusty meows worriedly)

Mr. Jones: I know you're concerned for Your kitten, but It’s not safe going off on Your own. (The truck The Joneses are in, drive off as Rusty and Amber watch. with Emily and Jean coming to Their parents.

Emily - Mom, where are they going?

Jean - maybe, they’re getting something?

(Penelope goes by the cats, saddened)

Penelope: Banjo's gone.....

Chapter 5: They Call Me Crazy Legs
(Back in the city, Banjo fell asleep. He then hears clattering and hide under a garbage can lid. then He hears a cat scatting while looking for food.)

Banjo: Did somebody leave the radio on? (Looks outside the box and slowly approaches a trash can, which is shaking.) Um... hello?

(The cat pops out of the trash can and looks down)

Cat: Hey, little guy. Are you lost? (Banjo panics and hides under a trash lid.) What's wrong? Is there something on my face? Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare You. I was only looking for some food, but not much.

(Banjo slowly comes out of the trash lid)

Banjo: Who are you?

Cat: Crazy's the name. Crazy Legs. What's your name?

Banjo: I'm Banjo.

Crazy Legs - Banjo? An unusual name. And where do You live?

Banjo - I... I used to live in a woodpile. (Sheds tears.)

Crazy Legs - Oh. Well, some friends of mine used to live in woodpiles when they were your age. I mean, what town or city do You live in?

Banjo - a woodpile... in Payson.

Crazy Legs: Payson... Payson... That’s around 60 miles away. Do you know how to get back home?

Banjo: (Tearing up) I wish.... Mr. Jones, my owner, gave Me up and a van was taking Me to an animal shelter... I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to my family or Penelope. (Cries)

(Crazy Legs sympathetically gives Banjo his scarf)

Crazy Legs: I'll tell you what. Let's crash at Zazu's apartment for a while. That way, we'll figure out a way to get you home. Sounds like a plan?

Banjo: (Drying his tears) I don't know who Zazu is, but thank you, Crazy Legs.

(The two proceed)

Crazy Legs: You know, Banjo, I had an owner just like you when I was your age.

Banjo: You did? What was his name?

Crazy Legs: Leopold was his name. He was the best violinist in the neighborhood.

(Transition to a flashback of Crazy Legs as a kitten, alone and lost on an autumn night.)

Crazy Legs (Voiceover): When I was your age, I was a stray kitten and I haven't got a home to go to.

(Crazy Legs hears a violin playing)

Crazy Legs (Voiceover): That was until I came across some music playing.

(Crazy Legs sees a man with a long nose and a pompadour playing his violin. The man notices Crazy Legs and stops playing)

Man: Aw, what's the matter? Are you lost?

(Crazy Legs nods)

Man: Do you have a family?

(Crazy Legs shook his head sadly as he sheds tears)

Man: (Petting Crazy Legs) Well, don't you worry, little guy. I will take good care of you.

(Crazy Legs purrs happily, time went by and Crazy Legs as a young adult cat is alongside Leopold, who plays the violin in front of a small audience of kids.)

Crazy Legs (Voiceover) - He’s been making all who listen to His music, happy. (The flashback ends.)

Banjo - Wow! He must be a kind-hearted man. I’d like to meet Him.

(Crazy Legs sighs sadly)

Banjo: What's wrong?

Crazy Legs: Well, two years ago....

(Flashback to two years ago, where Leopold is playing his violin at his apartment while Crazy Legs listens contentedly. Suddenly, a loud banging is on the door)

Leopold: Who could that be? I hope it's not the landlord.

(He opens the door and a tough looking gangster and his dog are in the doorway.)

Leopold: How can I help you?

Gangster: The name is Lazlo. Lazlo Popham, and this is my dog, Bubbles.

(Bubbles growls)

Lazlo: Word on the street is that there has been a spike in crime lately. So, I 'm here for your protection... And your money.

Leopold: My money? How much?

Lazlo: 500 and I don't mean clams.

Leopold: (Shocked) Are you crazy?! I'm not paying you that amount of money! Get out of here!

Lazlo: Very well then... (Gets out his gun and points it at Crazy Legs) Then I'll blow your cat's brains out.

Leopold: Leave my cat out of this!

Lazlo: Okay then... (Points it at Leopold's forehead) Then I blow YOUR brains out!

(Leopold backs off)

Leopold: You're a monster!

Lazlo: Sic him, Bubbles!

(Bubbles lunges at Leopold, but Crazy Legs rushes in and claws Bubbles' face, causing him to yelp)

Lazlo: Bubbles! (Points his gun at Crazy Legs) Why you little...

(Crazy Legs claws Lazlo's face, causing him to drop his gun and cover his face)

Lazlo: (Screaming) ARGH! MY FACE!

(Lazlo and Bubbles rush out the door)

Lazlo: I'll get even with you miserable bums if it's the last thing I'll do!

(Leopold slams the door and locks it)

Leopold: Don't count on it!

(Crazy Legs hops into Leopold's arms and Leopold hugs him)

Leopold: Thank you, Crazy Legs. You saved the both of us. I'll call the police right away.

Crazy Legs: That money-grabber was sent to jail for blackmail and two counts of attempted murder.

(Transition to Leopold with his bags packed.)

Leopold: I've been enlisted to the army to fight the Axis. I'll be back, Crazy Legs. I promise.

(He leaves. As time passed, Crazy Legs waited. One day, Crazy Legs hears some people talking)

Man: Did you hear what happened to Mr. Wood?

Man 2: Yeah... Those Axis cutthroats got him.

(Crazy Legs who was listening in, becomes horrified and breaks into tears)

Man: Poor Crazy Legs will be heartbroken. How are We going to break it to Him?

Man 2: Yeah. God bless that violinist.

(The flashback ends with The Two Cats in front of Leopold's grave in the cemetary. Banjo comforts Crazy Legs)

Banjo: (Sadly) I'm very sorry, Crazy Legs.

Crazy Legs: (Sadly)  It's okay, Banjo. Come on, let's head to Zazu's.