100 Cats/Newbie Transcript

NORMA'S HOUSE

[BLACK SCREEN]

CAT #1: Is he okay?

CAT #2: Hello?

CAT #3: Is he dead?

CAT #4: Where'd he come from?

CAT #5: Who is he?

GINGER: Shh. He's waking up.

[THE SCREEN OPENS UP LIKE AN EYE TO REVEAL A CARPET]

DEMON: Huh? Where am I?

[MAY POPS UP IN FRONT OF DEMON]

MAY: Hello! I'm May, and uh, you're at our house!

DEMON: Uh, hi.

[GINGER COMES UP BESIDE MAY]

GINGER: May, he just woke up. You should give him some space.

MAY: Sorry, Ginger.

[MAY MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND DEMON STANDS UP. HE LOOKS AROUND AND SEES CATS EVERYWHERE]

DEMON: Holy moly-

[SEVERAL CATS BEGIN SURROUNDING DEMON]

CAT #2: Hey there!

DEMON: Uh, hi-

[DEMON TAKES A STEP BACK BUT ANOTHER CAT COMES BEHIND HIM AND PETS HIS FUR]

CAT #6: Wow, your fur is nice. Can I keep it?

DEMON: No!

[DEMON MOVES AWAY FROM THE CAT BUT ANOTHER ONE WALKS UP IN FRONT OF HIM]

CAT #7: Salut l'ami. Quel est ton nom? Oh, c'est quoi ce bleu sur ta tête?

DEMON: Um, I don't speak language.

[THE FRENCH CAT SEEMS CONFUSED FOR A SECOND BUT THEN ANOTHER CAT PUSHES HIM OUT OF THE WAY]

CAT #8: You seem tense.

[THE CAT SHOWS DEMON A HANDFUL OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE POO]

CAT #8: This brown stuff will make you feel better if you put on your fur.

DEMON: *Sniff* Ew!

[DEMON BACKS AWAY AND ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO A CAT]

DEMON: Ah!

[DEMON TURNS AROUND]

CAT #9: I'm the reason you have nightmares.

DEMON: Um, what?

[THREE CATS RIDING A VACUUM BEGIN COMING TOWARD DEMON]

CAT #10: Look out!

CAT #11: Whee!

DEMON: *Scream*

[DEMON BEGINS RUNNING FROM THE VACUUM BUT IT CHASES HIM THROUGH THE HOUSE]