WikiViews/Elastigirl (2020 film)

SCRIPT
Noah: (Waking up unconscious) Wh... what did I miss?

???: Greetings Mr. Biondi.

Noah: Huh? What are you?

Satan: You don't remember me? SATAN?!

Noah: Uh, no, I don't, actually.

Satan: For shame.

Noah: Whatever. The point is, I'm doing WikiViews again. Anything interesting pop up around here?

Satan: Uh... Nolan and Dillon met Walt Disney and his sluts and some other weird shit.

Noah: That seems ordinary. Anything else? I heard there was a big funeral or something for when I left. Does that mean everyone... faked my death?

Satan: They did? I didn't know of this.

Noah: I also got one of those Feliz Jueves cards or whatever. There's, like, a picture of Asuka on it or something, it's when she was running to her dead mother. I think someone's grandma gave me this.

Satan: How would someone's grandma even know what Evangelion is?

Noah: (Staring at the fourth wall) I don't know!

Satan: I found a movie that you can review.

Noah: Oh, um... what's it called?

Satan: ELASTIGIRL!

Noah: Wait wait wait... Elastigirl?

Satan: YUP!

Noah: They made a fucking movie about Elastigirl? They made Incredibles 3 AND a fucking Elastigirl movie?

Satan: Yes!

Noah: I think it's because Incredibles 2 made 1.2 billion dollars.

Satan: Yep! Money exists.

Noah: Alright, let's see if it's any good.

* Clips show*

Noah: (VO) So it starts out with Rick Dicker interrogating Elastigirl (cough cough, Jack-Jack Attack and Incredibles 2 much?) for a company called Voltco.

''Elastigirl/Helen Parr: Well, um... what's this company called, then?''

Rick Dicker: Voltco.

''Elastigirl/Helen Parr: Voltco? What do you mean, "Voltco"?''

''Rick Dicker: That's just the company's name. So, what is it? Are you in, or are you out?''

Dillon: Why is Rick working for a company?

Noah: Yeah, this pretty much goes against his dedication to keeping the supers safe as establishing in the first two films.

Dillon: Is he brainwashed?

* The stock "ding" sound effect plays as a text appears, saying "NEVER EXPLAINED!"*

Noah: Oh, goodie! Off to a great start!

Dillon: Super great! Suberb!

* Shows clips*

Noah: (VO) So then we sorta resolve the cliffhanger from Incredibles 2- which really didn't need to be resolved by the way- as we see the Parr family face off against the robbers who are speeding across the road.

Dash: Violet, look out!

''Violet: Huh? ''(Some rubble falls and Violet forms a forcefield)

Noah: Okay, this is kinda cool... we get some fun action and great animation, plus Michael Giacchino just keeps delivering!

Dillon: Wait wasn't this marketed as a prequel?

Noah: I don't even know anymore. Maybe it's like the movie Memento where it's told entirely out of order.

Dillon: Guess so.

Noah: Wait, hang on-

* NEVER EXPLAINED flashes again.*

Noah: There we go! You see, writing should be easy. Explaining why they're picking up from here is apparently too hard.