Helluva Boss (film)/Transcript

Transcript of the 2024 film Helluva Boss.

Prologue
(The A24 (North American version only), Sony, and TriStar Pictures logo play. In a black background, the words "TriStar Pictures and A24 present" and "A New Eden Production" fade in. Then we fade to a night backdrop, where a car pulls into a warehouse. Out stepped a human, aged 40, who walked in, as the camera showed newspapers saying: "FBI's Most Wanted Criminal Escapes!" and "President Urges Citizens for Extra Caution.")

Unknown Person #1: So... you've planned it out?

(A light flickered in, revealing another man of Mexican ethnicity.)

Unknown Person #2: Yes, boss. The henchmen and I did exactly what you asked.

Unknown Person #1: Good.

(He stepped into the light, revealing himself as Dicker "El Dicko" Francis. He wore a black suit and a small top hat. He threw his smoking pipe on a map.)

El Dicko: Hernando!

Hernando: Yes, boss?

El Dicko: Come over here.

(Hernando walked over to El Dicko, next to the map.)

Hernando: What do you want to show me?

El Dicko: Look here.

(He placed his finger on an unnamed area near New York City.)

El Dicko: What do you say we... assassinate the President of the United States at the Square?

Hernando: You sure about this? The last time we tried to, you got captured.

El Dicko: Oh, Hernando. When will you learn? I've got just the thing that defies the police.

Hernando: And that is...?

El Dicko: A distraction.

(Hernando took a moment to process that.)

Hernando: Okay. I like where you're going with this.

El Dicko: Exactly. Because, my friend, once we assassinate the President of the United States, the world will see how dangerous of a human I am, and they will bow to me, giving us what we always want...

(The camera moved toward his face.)

El Dicko: ...loyalty.

(Then we cut to black.)

Part 1
(We cut to a commercial jingle titled the "I.M.P. Jingle." In the commercial, it shows a montage of three demons and one hellhound killing humans.)

Singer:

When you want somebody gone

And you don't want to wait too long

Call the Immediate Murder Professionals

Hand grenade or cyanide

We'll make it look like suicide

The Immediate Murder Professionals

We do our job so well

Because we come straight up from Hell

We'll kill your husband or your wife

We'll even let you keep the knife

We're the Immediate Murder Professionals

Kids die for free!

(The jingle ends.)

Voiceover: For more information, dial the number shown on screen.

(Cut to a board meeting, where Blitzo, the boss of I.M.P., is in front of a TV.)

Blitzo: Boom! And that's how you do a TV ad, everyone! I knew I couldn't forget you, Loony.

(Loona, Blitzo's adopted daughter and hellhound, rolls her eyes and looks at her cellphone. Moxxie, an employee of I.M.P., raises his hand.)

Moxxie: Sir, how would you know that remaking this commercial would bring in more clients?

Blitzo: Moxxie, don't lower my hopes down.

Moxxie: I'm not lowering your hopes down.

Blitzo: Now, any questions before I dismiss you all?

(Millie, an employee of I.M.P. and the wife of Moxxie, raises her hand.)

Blitzo: Yes, Millie?

Millie: What's our paycheck for the ad?

Blitzo: I didn't get an email from the advertising company yet. Hopefully they'll pay us or else I am going to fucking sue them.

Moxxie: Suing them is not going to change their mind, sir.

Blitzo: Yeah, yeah, Moxxie. Alright, dismissed!

(Millie, Moxxie, and Loona left the board room and went to their respective working areas.)

Moxxie: You think we could get this company up with that ad? It's the exact same thing we did before, but with Loona added.

Millie: Chill, Mox. I'm sure we could get up on our feet!

Moxxie: If only we can.

(Cut to Blitzo looking at his phone in his office, swiping on Sinstagram and swipes away an ad for the Hazbin Hotel. A pop-up for an incoming phone call from an owl named Stolas appears.)

Blitzo: Ah, crap.

(He accepts the phone call.)

Blitzo: Hello?

(We cut to a bedroom with Stolas, the Goetic Prince of Hell.)

Stolas: Why, hello, my Blitzy.

Blitzo: Stolas, what do you want?

(Stolas snickered.)

Blitzo: Oh, god. Stolas, don't!

Stolas: Why not, Blitzo?

Blitzo: I'm not going to do... that.

Stolas: But it's so nice when you [bleep] on my [bleep], and then [bleep] all over you again.

Blitzo: Please stop.

Stolas: Oh, I'm not done yet. When I get there, you'll [bleep] on me, just like how I request it. [bleep] on that [bleep] of yours and then [bleep] all over you. And then the cycle continues.

Blitzo: If you don't stop this instant, I will hang up on you.

Stolas: Come on, Blitzo. We're just getting started.

Blitzo: We are not getting started.

Stolas: It's only for a little bit. So- Hello?

(Stolas finds out the call had ended.)

Stolas: Oh, well. Maybe he'll decide upon it.

(Just then, Octavia, Stolas's daughter, came in.)

Octavia: Dad, Mom wants to talk with you.

(Stolas sighed.)

Stolas: Tell her I'm coming.

Octavia: Alright.

(Cut back to I.M.P. headquarters, where Loona was at her reception desk. A demon walked up to her desk.)

Loona: Can I help you?

James: Yes, hi. I'd like to make a request.

Loona: Okay. Who's the victim you want killed?

James: El Dicko.

(Loona types in her computer.)

Loona: Okay. We'll send that to our boss. Thank you for choosing the Immediate Murder Professionals.

James: Good. I can't wait to see that piece of shit rot here.

Loona: Jeez, no need to get angry.

(James walked away. Another demon walked up.)

Loona: And what can I do for you this time?

Marcy: I'd like to have a person named El Dicko killed.

(Loona types on her computer before stopping for a second.)

Loona: Wait, who did you say you want to get killed?

Marcy: El Dicko.

(Loona continues typing on the computer.)

Loona: El Dicko. Who is this?

(Then, another demon walks up.)

Loona: Let me guess. El Dicko, isn't it?

Brad: Yeah.

Loona: Okay. If El Dicko's the victim who wants to be dead, raise your hand.

(James, Marcy, Brad, and seven other demons raised their hand.)

Loona: Holy shit. All of you guys want this El Dicko guy assassinated?

All except Loona: Yeah!

Loona: Dear Satan.

Carrie: This bitch has done nothing but mass murder throughout the world!

Neil: She's right. He killed all of us in a shooting yesterday!

Kelly: If you don't get that asshole killed, we will sue you all!

Loona: Now hang on just a moment there-

Tracy: You know what? Fuck this! I gotta kick something!

(Tracy kicked a vase and it shattered to the ground.)

Loona: Hey! That's Blitzo's property!

Tracy: Not like he has anything to do about it!

Lisa: So any choices, hound?

Loona: I'm already going to tell the employees about it! Just give me a sec!

(Loona ran to the kitchen, where Moxxie and Millie were talking.)

Millie: So then, he went "I don't know what you're talking about." And then I went, "What do you mean? You were a witness!"

Moxxie: He's that dumb?

Millie: Don't know, but the only thing I know about him is that he was there when-

Loona: Hey, Millie, TD, come with me.

Moxxie: What did you just call me?

Loona: You heard me. Now come on!

(Loona went out and Moxxie and Millie did the same. They saw the clients causing mayhem to the lobby.)

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs.

Millie: What's going on here?

Loona: They said something about some El Dicko shit. I don't know. We gotta tell Blitzo.

(The three ran to Blitzo's office. He was doing a crossword puzzle.)

Blitzo: Okay, so that word doesn't go there. What about-

Loona: Blitzo!

Blitzo: Gah!

(Blitzo tipped over his chair.)

Blitzo: Guys! What the hell did I tell you about knocking on the door?

Moxxie: Sorry, sir, but this is urgent!

Blitzo: Okay, what is so "urgent" that you had to rush to my door and nearly break my fucking skull?

(Cut to the lobby.)

Moxxie: This is what was so "urgent" we had to rush to your door and nearly break your fucking skull.

Blitzo: Oh my Satan. Lots of clients!

(He climbed onto Loona's desk.)

Blitzo: Now everyone, can I have your attention please?

(The clients stopped their rioting.)

Lisa: What is it now?

Blitzo: I'm sure my receptionist is aware of your El Dicko situation?

Marcy: You got that right.

Blitzo: What exactly does he do?

Neil: He commits terrorism everywhere he goes!

Tracy: That and the fact he makes sometimes offensive stuff towards everyone!

Ash: You got that right. He even made fun of my step-sister for being a "dwarf."

Blitzo: Wow. Who gives a shit about that?

Ash: Ugh. I do!

James: Now you either help us or we are tearing this hellhole to the ground!

(Loona whispers in Blitzo's ear.)

Blitzo: Okay, everyone. I have made a decision. We...

(Everyone listened.)

Blitzo: ...are going to...

(They waited.)

Blitzo: ...not kill El Dicko.

James: WHAT?!

Kelly: I thought your ad said we could "get anyone killed whenever we want," you liar!

Blitzo: I'm just kidding, everyone. Of course we've got ya.

James: Oh, heh heh. He's just joking, everyone. How much do we owe ya?

Blitzo: Probably $20 at best.

All: We'll take it!

(Cut to the exterior of the building, where a bus was seen driving away.)

Blitzo: We'll get this douche in less than 24 hours or your kill is free!

Moxxie: And you're still implementing that deal?

Blitzo: Of course I am.

Loona: Oh gosh. Guys, I think I know who this "El Dicko" is.

Blitzo: Really? Tell us.

Loona: Okay.

(Loona cleared her throat.)

Loona: "El Dicko is the world's most feared man. From killing people to commiting world terrorism, he is a person slated to be avoided at all costs. He will slit your ass in under a second upon exposure."

Blitzo: And where do you get this information from?

Loona: My Sinstagram.

(Loona turned her phone around to show Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie a news article about El Dicko.)

Blitzo: Wow, Loony. You're really useful, you know that? You get a treat.

Loona: Ew. Stop.

(Blitzo throws the treat into the air and catches it with his mouth.)

Loona: You're so gross!

Moxxie: No shit.

Blitzo: Alright, everyone! Let's go in!

Part 2
(A Batman-esque transition played and we cut to the board room.)

Blitzo: Loona, can you track down El Dicko?

Loona: Nothing popping up.

Blitzo: Well, that's just great. That's just fucking great.

Moxxie: Sir, can't we just look around first? That would sound reasonable.

(Loona's phone rung.)

Loona: Oh shit. Guys, I think I've got the location of El Dicko. He's in New York City.

Blitzo: New York City? That hellhole?

Millie: New York City doesn't sound bad!

Blitzo: New York City is a rotting place, Millie. It is bad.

Millie: Didn't look that bad to me.

Moxxie: So sir, when are we leaving?

Blitzo: We're leaving in about ten minutes.

Loona: Hey, is there any way I can go with you guys?

Blitzo: Why do you want to do that?

Loona: Come on. You know why.

Blitzo: Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. New York City is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of freaks up there who'd drool all over you!

(Everyone breaks the fourth-wall by looking at the screen in disapproval.)

Loona: Well, maybe they stopped now.

Blitzo: You know what? You're right. Welcome to the team, sweetie.

Loona: I've been on the team with you for a while now.

Blitzo: Eh, who gives a shit?

(Blitzo took a seat.)

Blitzo: Now listen here, you ass-cracks. We are about to kill the worst victim we have ever witnessed. He sounds like he has bodyguards in every single part of his base. So one small mistake, and he shoots your guts out. No dillydallying here.

Millie: Yeah, maybe I changed my mind. This El Dicko guy sounds like he's gonna kill our asses on this one.

Moxxie: Same here.

Loona: For once, I agree with them. Why don't we just tell our clients we just killed him immediately and call it a day.

Blitzo: Are you fucking kidding me, guys? After you just said we can do this? You gotta make up your minds. Either you go to the human world, or don't! Which leaves getting you fired. Including you, Loona.

(Loona rolled her eyes.)

Blitzo: Come on, guys. Give yourself a little grit. Get out there like it's the start of summer break. Don't let those shit-stains get in your way. They just want to bring you down. So either we lie to them and lose our careers, or finish the job and be hailed as "heroes." Your choice. Anywho picks the former, raise your hand.

(No one raised their hand.)

Blitzo: Okay. Anyone who picks the latter, raise your hand.

(Moxxie, Millie, and Loona raised their hands.)

Blitzo: Oh, fuck me in the asshole. There is a god. Alright, get on out. I have to make a phone call.

(The three left, leaving Blitzo alone. He dialed Stolas. Stolas was laying on his couch.)

Stolas: Hello?

(Blitzo sighed.)

Blitzo: Stolas.

Stolas: Blitzy! Have you made your mind?

Blitzo: Oh my god. That's not why I called. Stolas, listen. Me and the pals are going to New York to kill a person named El Dicko.

Stolas: The human world?

Blitzo: Yes, Stolas. I wanted to ask if you could fill in for me at the I.M.P. headquarters.

Stolas: As in, replacing you?

Blitzo: No, not replacing me! Taking care of my job until I get back!

Stolas: Oh, Blitzy! How wonderful! So you're hiring me as an assassin? I call dibs on the guns!

Blitzo: No! It's neither! I'm just asking if you could temporarily do my job!

Stolas: Oh, Blitzo. You're so cute when you get angry. I'm [bleep].

Blitzo: No, not that kind of "coming."

Stolas: Just messing with ya. Won't be long!

Blitzo: Thank you!

(He hangs up.)

Blitzo: Holy shit. Is it that hard to explain?

(Cut back to Stolas.)

Stolas: Sounds like this will be-

Stella: Stolas! What is this?

(Stella, Stolas's wife, barges in. She showed Stolas one of Blitzo's ties.)

Stolas: That is nothing.

Stella: Then why does it have "imp" written all over it?

Stolas: It's none of your business, pinky.

Stella: Ugh! Why are you still attached to that piece of shit?!

Stolas: He is my friend! And friends don't leave each other!

Stella: What about me? What am I?

Stolas: You're my nobody! So get out now, or else I am shooting a gun at your face!

Stella: Hmph!

(Stella left Stolas, just as Octavia came in.)

Octavia: Dad, what was that all about?

Stolas: Nothing, honey.

Octavia: You sure? Sounded like you and Mum had a fit in here.

Stolas: It's nothing, honey.

(Back in the board room, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona re-entered.)

Millie: So you're done with your call?

Blitzo: Yeah.

Moxxie: So what now?

Blitzo: Suit up.

(Blitzo opened and puts on his sunglasses, just as the song "Without Me" played.)

Blitzo: This is going to get messy.

(Moxxie, Millie, and Loona smiled with determined looks. We then are shown a montage of the crew getting ready and setting up their gear, including: Blitzo adjusting his uniform by tightening his charm, Moxxie flipping two pistols, Millie wielding her battleaxe, and Loona closing the grimoire that activated a portal to the human world.)

Blitzo: Alright. This is amazing, team! I could just cry right now!

Millie: No problem, sir!

Moxxie: We had to, sir.

Loona: Yep, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Before we go...

(Blitzo puts his hand out. The song then fades out.)

Blitzo: ...how about we just do one of those teamwork thingies or whatever the fuck?

(Millie puts her hand on top of Blitzo.)

Moxxie: I don't see why not.

(Moxxie puts his hand on top of Millie. Millie giggled.)

Blitzo: And we especially can't forget you, Loony.

(Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie looked at Loona.)

Loona: Fine. Count me in.

(Loona puts her hand on Moxxie.)

Blitzo: Okay. No matter what happens, we stick together. Got it?

All except Blitzo: Got it!

Blitzo: Alright. All for one...

All: And one for all!

(The four jumped into the portal before we cut to black.)

Part 3
(In Washington D.C., an FBI meeting is taking place inside the J. Edgar Hoover Building. Agents Clark Davis, Ryan Terry, Henry McDonald, Jamie Lickers, Sue Baker, Stanley Lee, and Manny Anderson took their seats.)

Clark: One week ago, the FBI's most wanted terrorist Dicker Francis, otherwise known as "El Dicko", has escaped the United States Penitentiary in Florence, Colorado. What do we know?

Sue: Well, data readings sent to us by the CIA suggest he is planning something more sinister than we think.

Clark: Like what?

Sue: Based on audio recordings from their satellites, they confirmed he will be assassinating President Harvey during his speech in the New York City Hall in two days time.

Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sue, did you just say he'll assassinate President Harvey in two days?

Sue: Affirmative.

Manny: That son of a bitch is gonna get karma for that.

Henry: Well, what are we gonna do? If he kills Harvey, that's it. No more America.

Stanley: That's not necessarily true, Henry. We could still get the Vice President to fill for him.

Jamie: That or we can talk him out of it.

Henry: Jamie, you know convincing that son of a bitch to not do it is gonna make him want to do it more, right?

Jamie: Atleast I have a good personality, you dick!

(Jamie got up from her seat.)

Sue: Whoa, hey, Jamie! Get back to your seat!

Clark: Folks, don't get temped here. We could still figure out a plan to prevent El Dicko from commencing his plan.

Jamie: Like what? Shooting him?

Stanley: Well, Jamie, it could be a brilliant plan when you think about it.

Jamie: Don't even side with him.

Clark: We can't shoot him directly because he could be hidden somewhere in the city hall. We'll contact the New York Police Department, maybe the Mayor, and we'll have them do a security scan of every person attending the speech.

Stanley: But how would we know which is which? You know there'll be a shitload of people there.

Clark: We'll show them a picture of El Dicko and ask them if they've seen someone that looks like this person.

Henry: And if they don't?

Clark: Then we'll have to keep searching. Either he kills the president or we kill him. Simple.

Ryan: You do know we are trying to capture one of the most feared people in the world, right?

Clark: Yeah. And what about it?

Ryan: He's got bodyguards everywhere! There's almost no warning if he'll kill us or not.

Stanley: Oh, suck a dick, Ryan. You haven't done anything like this since you joined us two weeks ago.

Ryan: Hey, at least I'm innocent!

Clark: Boys, let's not point fingers. We are the FBI, and our job is to protect and serve the United States of America.

Manny: So how much we gotta gear up?

Clark: We'll pack a few guns, call in some units for any backup just in case, and we'll head to New York tomorrow. A day before Harvey gives his speech.

Jamie: Oh gosh. Guys, President Harvey just left D.C. He's on his way to New York now.

Clark: Well, why are we wasting time here? Pack up! Tell your wife and kids goodbye, and meet at Joint Base Andrews at six o'clock. I'll see you there.

(Clark left the meeting room.)

Henry: So we're going?

Jamie: Yeah. See you at the air base.

(Everyone else got out their seats and left the room. Meanwhile, a portal forms in an alleyway. I.M.P. come out of it.)

Blitzo: Well, here we are, gang. New York City!

Loona: This place looks like a dumpster.

Blitzo: And that's the best part, Loona.

Loona: Whatever, da- Blitzo.

(Loona transforms into her human disguise.)

Loona: You guys are gonna need human disguises like me.

Blitzo: We've got that covered.

(The gang captures three random people and kills them. They undress them and put on their outfits.)

Millie: Alright! You look cute, Mox.

Moxxie: You too, Millie.

Blitzo: Good job, gang! Let's find El Dicko!

(As they leave the alleyway, the song "Welcome to New York" plays, as we get a glimpse of New York City in its daily routine. The I.M.P. gang walk down the pier.)

Blitzo: You know what? Maybe I was wrong. The city looks nice to visit every once in a while.

Moxxie: Maybe Millie and I will have our next date here?

Millie: Oh, I'd like that!

Blitzo: Maybe once this is over, we'll take a small trip here. How about that?

Millie: Ooh, now that's better.

(They accidentally bump into a man.)

Citizen: Hey! Go back to Jersey, ya freaks!

Blitzo: "Jersey?"

(Moxxie picked up a map.)

Moxxie: I think he's talking about this state called New Jersey over there.

(Moxxie pointed to Jersey City just across the Hudson River.)

Blitzo: Why that city?

Moxxie: I think they dislike Jersey, from what I heard.

(Loona began scenting something.)

Loona: Quiet, guys.

(She bent over to the ground and began sniffing the sidewalk.)

Loona: I think I've got a target. Follow me.

(Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie followed Loona, as the song faded out. Unbeknownst to them that Hernando watched them from behind.)

Hernando: Hmm... red skin people with dog-like abilities. El Dicko would like this.

(Hernando contacted El Dicko with his phone.)

El Dicko: What?

Hernando: Dicker, I've got some pictures I want to show you.

(Fade to El Dicko's hideout.)

Hernando: Sir, I'm back.

El Dicko: Welcome back. You told me you got pictures you wanted to show me?

Hernando: Yep. Here they are.

(Hernando dropped three pictures of the I.M.P. gang on the table. El Dicko examined them closely.)

El Dicko: Anymore information on these entities?

Hernando: Negative.

El Dicko: This is interesting. We've got demons in our world.

Hernando: You think so.

El Dicko: Yeah. Why do you think they look like that?

(El Dicko looked at three chambers.)

El Dicko: Well, Hernando, hire a person to hunt them down. And tell them not to rest until they're captured. I have something in mind for them.

Hernando: Yes, boss!

(Hernando saluted and left.)

El Dicko: Run as fast as you can, red-skinned humans. But you can't hide from El Dicko.

(El Dicko laughed maniacally. Fade back to the I.M.P. gang walking around the city. They meet citizens Vivienne and Gabe.)

Vivienne: Oh my god, have you heard the news?

Gabe: Yeah. I might be paranoid now that Dicko is out there somewhere. Who knows what he'll do?

Blitzo: Hey, guys.

Vivienne: Whoa!

Gabe: Holy shit, you guys. What happened to you?

Blitzo: Uhh... Sunburn!

Gabe: Oh. Sorry to hear about that.

Blitzo: That's okay. Now can you explain to us more about this "El Dicko" guy?

Millie: Yep. We're trying to assassinate him.

(Vivienne and Gabe look at each other and they burst out laughing.)

Vivienne: What dumb fucking humans! Like you guys know how to kill a terrorist!

Loona: Hey, it's not funny!

Vivienne: Oh no! That goth girl is going to attack us!

(Loona's anger got the better of her. She took Millie's axe and wielded it next to Vivienne, shocking her and Gabe.)

Loona: Say that again. I dare you.

(Vivienne and Gabe didn't say anything.)

Loona: That's what I thought.

(Loona gave Millie her axe back.)

Moxxie: So now with that out of the way, can you explain more details about Dicko, please?

Vivienne: Okay, okay. We'll tell you. As long as that girl doesn't do that again.

(Vivienne and Gabe got up.)

Gabe: The thing about El Dicko is... terrible.

Vivienne: Yeah, what he said. We were witnesses.

Moxxie: Wait just a second there! You were witnesses of El Dicko.

Vivienne: Yep.

(Fade to a flashback, where El Dicko, in a younger form, was seen commiting vile crimes.)

Vivienne: Back then, he was the most feared man on the planet. Killing innocent civilians, blowing up places, and even having intercourses with people without their consent. Oh, how they screamed. He was a living nightmare.

(Then we are shown a woman in the dark night, walking down the sidewalk. She is then startled by a whooshing sound. And when the sound got closer, it was El Dicko, who stabbed her in the head.)

Gabe: He even killed my friend's mother.

Vivienne: But it all finally came to an end when the police finally captured him when he tried to commit a mass shooting. However, that didn't last either, as now... we all know what happened.

(The flashback ends.)

Vivienne: And that's how it all happened. Any questions?

Blitzo: So El Dicko ***** people?

Gabe: That's correct!

Blitzo: Wow, he is such a douchebag.

Gabe: No lie there.

Millie: I told ya. We'll have our asses kicked immediately.

Gabe: And that's why he's one of the most feared people on the planet. We just can't win!

Blitzo: I'll have you know that once we get that cocksucker, you'll be shaking hands with us.

Vivienne: Good luck with that.

Blitzo: Yeah, yeah. Thanks for all your help!

Gabe: So long!

(The I.M.P. gang was already gone.)

Vivienne: Oh, you poor souls...

Gabe: Yeah. We don't even know each other, yet we already agree on certain things.

Vivienne: Heh. Agreed.

Part 4
(Back in D.C., the FBI agents met at Joint Base Andrews.)

Clark: We got everyone?

All: We're here.

Clark: Good. Get on. We're leaving now. No exceptions.

(The rest of the FBI agents got on.)

Clark: Sue, pinpoint the location of El Dicko.

Sue: Yes, sir.

Clark: Henry, make sure the weapons are locked and loaded.

Henry: Aye aye, sir.

Clark: And Ryan... don't fuck this up. We can't afford having to lose a member of the FBI again.

Ryan: Yes, sir. I know.

(The plane took off.)

Jamie: Sir, we've got bigger news.

Clark: What is it?

Jamie: Red-skinned entities with a goth girl have been spotted throughout New York.

Stanley: You don't think they're demons, do you?

Jamie: They can't be demons.

Henry: Then what do you think they are, eh?

Jamie: Probably sun-burned humans with horns?

Henry: There you go. That's the perfect definition of a demon.

Manny: I'm siding with Henry here. Demons are like that.

Henry: That's what I'm talking about, bitch!

(Manny and Henry high-fived.)

Jamie: You don't know if they could be something else.

Clark: Well, if that's the case, Sue, tell the New York Police Department to be on high-alert. We don't know what problems they could cause to our world.

Sue: Yes, sir.

(Cut to a shot of the plane flying above the clouds. Meanwhile, back in New York, the I.M.P. gang were walking down the street.)

Loona: Goddamn it. I'm bored.

Blitzo: Why don't you go take pictures on your phone, sweetie?

Loona: Exactly. There's not a lot of stuff to take pictures of other than these big buildings.

Millie: Ehh, I have no problem.

Loona: That's because you haven't came here before.

Millie: Neither did you!

Moxxie: Hey, don't cause a riot now, girls. Argue later.

Blitzo: Guys, what are you doing? People are looking at us!

(Bystanders looked at the gang.)

Moxxie: Ah ha. Nothing to see here, folks. Good day!

Bystander: They don't look like they're from around here at all.

(Then, a Mexican man named Juan appeared.)

Juan: Hello, mi amigos! You look famished.

Blitzo: Yeah, yeah, whatever. What do you want, bitch?

Juan: Nothing. I thought I'd invite you to the bar just over there!

(Swoosh to the exterior of a bar named "New York's Margarita Frenzy!")

Blitzo: Mmm... How do we know we can trust you?

Juan: Drinks are on me!

Blitzo: Eh, sure. I don't see why not. But we're keeping a keen eye. So no fuck-shit on my watch.

Juan: Of course! Of course! Nothing entirely too suspicious!

(Juan chuckled.)

Loona: Doesn't sound trusty at all.

(The song "Live Your Life" began playing as the gang and Juan walked into the bar.)

Blitzo: Holy shit!

(The bar was filled with bright lights, strippers, and a chugging game.)

Blitzo: Now that's what I'm talking about!

(The camera slid over to Millie and Moxxie.)

Moxxie: You know, Millie? This place reminds me of the time we first met.

Millie: I know. Oh, how the times were back then.

(The camera orbited them for a quick four seconds until we cross transition to a pub called “Fred’s Alcohol Tavern,” where we are shown Moxxie in his early 20s with his friends from high school. One of his friends, Hugo, noticed his down expression.)

Hugo: (flashback) Hey Moxx, you still looking for a partner? It’s been a while since you’ve dated someone, like two-ish years ago?

Moxxie: (flashback) Well Hugo, I don’t need someone right now. By the way, Chaz broke my heart and I still need some time to recover...

Hugo: (flashback) Yeah, I could see that. Oh well, let's not worry about that. Let's have the best night of our lives!

(Meanwhile, Millie, also in her early 20s, was seen gulping down six tequilas while her friends cheer her on, giving her more drinks than she can handle. She felt woozy and threw up on her side but continued to drink more tequila. Her friend Brenda was impressed of all.)

Brenda: (flashback) Wow Mills, can’t believe you can handle that much tequila! You’re trying to forget about Chaz and his stuck-up ass, are ya?

Millie: (flashback) Yeah Brenda. He was a good-for-nothing *hiccup* bastard that cheated on me with a local drug dealer. But I’m fine now and I don’t need a moocher like him in my life.

Brenda: (flashback) Yep. Such a douchebag.

Millie: (flashback) And that's why I consider you my "good friend," Brenda.

(Then bursting out of the front door, a demon with a slicked-back pompadour, a fake golden tooth, a black leathered jacket with golden embroidery, and some jet black shades walked up to the counter and demanded alcohol from the bartender. A minute passed and the guy, who calls himself “Daryl”, started gulping down drinks left and right; when he was done, he walked up to Millie and said...)

Daryl: (flashback) Hey, beautiful. Where have you been all my life?

Millie: (flashback) What do you *hiccup* want?

Daryl: (flashback) What do I want? I want you and me together, dancing the night away. So what do you say? You want a piece of Daryl tonight, babe?

Millie: (flashback) Actually, there is one thing. Do me a favor and shove...

(Millie flipped Daryl with the middle finger.)

Millie: (flashback) ...this up your tiny little asshole.

(As Daryl kept persisting Millie to come to his place, she started to get scared and worried. She tried looking for her friends but they went to the restroom to throw up an entire ocean of alcohol and bile.)

Millie: (flashback) Oh shit...

(Back with Moxxie, he drank his virgin margarita, swirling the straw with boredom while Hugo and the others went to the bathroom to also throw up. Moxxie scrolled through Sinstagram on his phone until he spots Daryl putting his arm around Millie, who looked around for her friends with panic in her eyes. Moxxie understood what she wanted: she wanted help and wanted to get away from this random guy that sat next to her. So Moxxie did the right thing. He put down his virgin margarita, got up, and walked toward Daryl and Millie.)

Moxxie: (flashback) Excuse me sir, but do you, by any means, know this young lady?

Daryl: (flashback) None of your business, little dude.

(Moxxie looked at Millie, who had desperate help in her eyes. It looked like she was about to whimper and cry. So Moxxie did what he had to do. He punched Daryl right in the face, letting Daryl hit his head on the counter, and falling out of the chair. Moxxie looked at Millie.)

Moxxie: (flashback) Are you okay, ma’am?

(Millie’s eyes shone and her cheeks warmed. Daryl got up angrily.)

Daryl: (flashback) Listen here, bitch. I don’t know who you are, but you gotta back off. You don’t want to mess with me. I run with gangs and you run... What? A pathetic homework club at school? That’s your last warning before I’m gonna beat you into a fucking pulp. You understand, pardner?

(A hazardous feeling went through the atmosphere as Daryl finished his whole spiel. Moxxie rolled his eyes.)

Moxxie: (flashback) Are you done with your little edgy backstory, “pardner?"

(Moxxie kicked him in the chest. Daryl groaned and snapped his fingers, summoning four demons with shades and suits, grabbing Moxxie by the arms and restraining him so he couldn’t hit Daryl. He got up and crossed his arms with a dirty expression on his face.)

Daryl: (flashback) I told you not to mess with me, you little shit.

(Daryl punches Moxxie’s face and threw him to the ground. Moxxie, who was nearing death, remembered some familiar demon’s words.)

Unknown: (flashback) Listen, Moxxie. If you’re in a situation where you are restrained or being pinned down, not like in a kinky way if you know what I mean, you have to do a move called “S.I.N.G”, which is a self-defense move that I use a shit ton of times.

(The memory faded away and Moxxie knew what to do.)

Moxxie: (flashback) Roger that, Blitzo.

(Moxxie elbowed the two demon’s solar plexus; which is located in their stomach area, then stepped on their feet, punched their noses, and kicked their groins. Everyone ran out of the tavern and suddenly, everybody including Moxxie started a shoot-out. Moxxie shot the demons swiftly and shielded himself from Daryl, who hid behind the counter while trying to shoot Moxxie with an AK-47. Fortunately, Moxxie, having a keen eye, jumped from table to table and took the gun from Daryl’s hands before shooting him in the head.)

Moxxie: (flashback) Who's laughing now, bitch?

(Moxxie leaped over the counter and headed towards Millie. He took off his jacket and puts it over Millie.)

Moxxie: (flashback) Uhh, sorry for the inconvenience ma’am-

Millie: (flashback) Call me Millie.

Moxxie: (flashback) I-uh... AHEM. Might as well call me Moxxie.

(He bowed to Millie and held out his hand.)

Moxxie: (flashback) Want to dance, Miss. Millie?

Millie: (flashback) Of course, Mr. Moxxie.

(The song "Until I Found You" began playing as Moxxie and Millie began dancing with dead bodies on the floor. When they began to share their first kiss, the flashback was long interrupted by Blitzo snapping his fingers and revealing that Moxxie was about to kiss his wine bottle.)

Blitzo: Moxxie!

Moxxie: Uh!

(Moxxie finds out he was about to kiss his wine, which made Loona snigger a bit.)

Millie: Still remembering the time we met, Mox?

Moxxie: Yeah. *to himself* Oh shit, that was embarassing.

Blitzo: Well, cut it out with the old times, Mox. I have a feeling this is a trick.

Moxxie: What do you mean?

Blitzo: Come on. Strippers? Alcohol? Those are the perfect distractions for someone! So come on. Ditch this. We are getting out of here.

(Blitzo took Moxxie by the tie.)

Juan: Alright. I got them. They're right here, amigo. And- SHIT!

(The seats the I.M.P. gang took were empty. It was revealed they hid in the janitor's closet.)

Loona: Get your face out of my waist!

Moxxie: Hey, my face? What the- Get your waist out of my face!

Blitzo: Stay quiet, you guys. He's coming.

(Coming inside the bar was El Dicko himself, with Hernando. Dicko looked around the bar as everyone hid under the tables.)

El Dicko: What is this, man? You told me you had them!

Juan: But I did! They were right here!

El Dicko: Oh, so now you're lying to me, are you?

Juan: No, I'm not! I swear, I told them to sit here!

El Dicko: What part of, "I want those red-skinned and goth-looking humans dead. And if you see them, come and get me. And if I find out that you didn't come and get me or just couldn't find them at all, I'll fucking kill your asses," did you not understand, Juan?

Juan: Well, we all mistakes sometimes, don't you agree? And when we do, we're given a second change, right?

(El Dicko sighed.)

El Dicko: You know what? It's okay. I'm sorry I got over my temper, Juan. How about we just go get some drinks and call it a day, ah? Come here...

(El Dicko quickly took out his M1911 and shoots Juan in the head, with blood splattering on the camera.)

Bystander #1: No way, Jose!

El Dicko: Yes way! Jose's fucking dead, yo.

(El Dicko took Moxxie's drink and gulped it down.)

Blitzo: Oh no!

(El Dicko throws the drink on another man's crotch.)

Bystander #2: Aye! Right in my freaking balls!

El Dicko: Now don't tell anyone I was ever here or else I will kill you in your sleep. Capeesh?

Blitzo: Go, go, go!

(El Dicko spotted I.M.P.)

El Dicko: Hey! There you are!

Blitzo: Shit. Come on!

(The four ran through the kitchen.)

Chef: Watch out, possum!

Moxxie: I am not a possum!

(Then they reached the alleyway.)

Millie: Fuck! We're trapped!

(Blitzo spotted a 1996 Chevrolet Express.)

Blitzo: Not really.

(Blitzo grabbed the keys that were outside and got in. Inside, it was already full of guns, ammo, and [for whatever reason] a gasoline barrel. They got out of their human disguises.)

Blitzo: Ah, crap! Start, you piece of shit!

(Blitzo struggled to get the van working.)

Millie: They're coming!

Blitzo: I know, Mills! I just gotta-

(Finally, the van started its engine.)

Blitzo: Aha! Yes!

(Blitzo slammed the gas pedal and drove off.)

Blitzo: Hasta la vista, motherfuckers!

(The van then turned left onto West Street.)

El Dicko: After them!

(El Dicko and Hernando got into their 2013 Cadillac ATS and chased after Blitzo and the gang. Blitzo drove the van quickly.)

Moxxie: Holy shit, we almost got caught.

Loona: Thanks, Captain Obvious! Now they're chasing after us! Look!

(Loona opened the rear doors to show El Dicko and Hernando chasing them in the Cadillac.)

Loona: Blitzo, we got company!

Blitzo: Oh, god. You three, get any weapon you can find!

(Loona took a Smith & Wesson Model 686, Moxxie took an RPK, and Millie took a hand grenade.)

Hernando: Get ready!

(Hernando attempted to shoot them, but Loona, Moxxie, and Millie dodge the bullets.)

Loona & Moxxie: Suck on this!

(Loona and Moxxie shot their respective guns, but fail to shoot El Dicko and Hernando, and instead, shoot a couple drivers on the road, and a couple civilians on the sidewalks.)

Moxxie: Blitzo, how about you just steady the car a little?

Blitzo: I'm sorry, but it's hard to stabilize a car when two people are chasing you!

(Blitzo turned left on Liberty Street.)

Blitzo: Out of the way, you bozos!

(The civilians ran out of the van's way.)

Millie: So long, cocksuckers!

(Millie throws the grenade, but instead, it hits a car cruising down the street.)

Millie: Whoops. Sorry!

Blitzo: How the fuck do you get out of this city?!

(Then, Blitzo spots a sign pointing to the Brooklyn Bridge.)

Blitzo: Bingo! That's our ticket!

(Blitzo turned right onto the oncoming traffic side of the bridge.)

Blitzo: Oh, crap. I'm on the wrong side! Get out of the way, people!

(Oncoming cars dodged the van as the chase progressed.)

El Dicko: They're headed to the bridge!

(Hernando turned their car to the bridge. The van just passed the west tower.)

Moxxie: Wait, we're on the bridge.

(Then, Loona and Moxxie saw Millie about to throw a grenade.)

Loona & Moxxie: Millie, don't shoot that grenade!

(But it was too late. Millie shot the hand grenade and it hit the roadway, causing a huge explosion. Blitzo lost control of the van.)

Blitzo: Shit! Shit! Hold on, guys!

(The rear doors closed and the van hit an oncoming car before it broke the outer fence, falling into the East River. We go into super slow-motion as the song "Can't Help Falling in Love" plays. During this sequence, the gasoline barrel opens and splatters gasoline all over Moxxie! Next, the axe Millie had hits her in the head, giving her a slight concussion. Then, a grenade pushes on the handle of a pistol, shooting Loona's phone!)

Loona: (distorted) Nooo!

(After that, Moxxie grabs ahold of the pistol and accidentally shoots Blitzo's window.)

Blitzo: (distorted) Heyyy!

(Moxxie chuckled awkwardly. Finally, a nail stabs Blitzo in the forehead. We go back to normal speed as the van splashes into the East River. El Dicko and Hernando watched from the bridge.)

El Dicko: Well, Hernando, I'd say we won't hear from them anymore.

Hernando: Heh. Totally.

(As they got off the bridge, Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona resurfaced.)

Moxxie: Well, that's something we shouldn't do again.

Millie: Agreed.

Blitzo: Whatever. Can someone please tell me that fancy book is still in tact?

Loona: You mean, our only ticket back home? Yeah. Got it.

(Loona lifted the grimoire from under the water.)

Blitzo: Oh, thank Satan. It would be terrible if we lost it.

(Blitzo climbed up the edge of a boardwalk and lifted Moxxie, Millie, and Loona out of the East River. Loona shook to remove the water off.)

Millie: Well, there goes our stuff.

Blitzo: Don't worry, Mills, we'll find a gun shop on the way back.

(Moxxie looked up to see smoke rising from the Brooklyn Bridge.)

Moxxie: Ah, shit.

Blitzo: What?

Moxxie: We might have caused some damage to human property.

Blitzo: Well, who cares? It's their problem now.

Moxxie: Sir, you can't blame this on someone else. You have to take responsibility.

Blitzo: Not like anyone's gonna listen to a demon anyway.

Loona: He's right, TD. We're from Hell.

(They begin to walk away as they continue to their conversation.)

Moxxie: Stop calling me that.

Loona: Sorry for being right.

Moxxie: Well, how would you like it if I called you "Furry Girl"?

Loona: Nice try.

Part 5
(We cut to a news broadcast of "VNN News".)

News Anchor: Good evening. Just recently, a wild car chase took place around Lower Manhattan with a 1996 Chevrolet Express and a 2013 Cadillac ATS. Police are on the lookout for the people responsible for this, but has extended the search even more when it started at the local New York's Margarita Frenzy bar. CCTV cameras can only capture few pictures before the rest became mystery. We will show them to you now.

(The broadcast shows a picture of the car chase. The camera zooms into El Dicko in the passenger seat of the Cadillac.)

News Anchor: As you can see, one of the people responsible inside the Cadillac resembles the FBI's most wanted terrorist Dicker "El Dicko" Francis, who had escaped from ADX Florence just a week ago. It is unknown if this is truly him or not, but citizens are advised to remain vigilant.

(The camera then moves toward Blitzo driving the Chevrolet.)

News Anchor: Meanwhile, other pictures show what could be three red-skinned humanoids with horns on their heads and what appears to be a wolf in goth clothing. The New York City Police Department is also investigating this humanoid figure, so citizens are also advised to be on the lookout for these entities.

(Zoom out to reveal that the news is being broadcast on the TV in the FBI's plane. Sue had already took a picture of El Dicko in the broadcast and scans it through an identifier.)

Sue: Oh shit!

Henry: What?

Sue: That's El Dicko! In the picture! And those so-called "demons" we heard about.

Stanley: Well, folks, looks like the shift's been extended, isn't it?

Clark: Jamie, how much 'til we reach New York?

Jamie: About 10 minutes, sir.

Clark: Henry, get the guns ready. We're almost there.

Henry: Alright.

(Henry inserted mags into the guns and grenades in bags.)

Henry: Locked and loaded.

Clark: Thank you. Ryan, as being the newest member on our team, watch how we do it.

Ryan: Yes, I know what to do, sir. I took FBI training already. I'm not retarded.

Clark: But still...

(Ding!)

Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to touch down at LaGuardia Airport. Please take your seats immediately. Thank you.

Clark: Well, we're almost there.

(Clark took a seat and buckled his seatbelt as the plane reached New York City. We then cut to various TV programs, where celebrities and talk hosts appear.)

Talk Show Host #1: Now, I know this is a bit sensitive to talk about, but I feel this is a "red" alert. Get it?

Guest: You could say that again. They look like demons to me.

(Cut to The Ellen DeGeneres Show.)

Ellen DeGeneres: How many bucks would you say that these red-skinned humanoids are demons?

Ryan Reynolds: A lot. Look at the horns! They look like something a demon would have.

(Then cut to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.)

Jimmy Fallon: David, look at this. You cannot tell me they don't look demonic.

David Tennant: Oh yeah, that's for sure. I mean, they can't look sunburnt or anything. They still have white patches!

(Finally, we cut to Jimmy Kimmel Live!)

Chris Pratt: So many people have said they are demons, and I would say I agree.

Jimmy Kimmel: Oh, is that so? Everybody, we've got a supporter!

(Cut back to the I.M.P. gang walking down the street in Brooklyn. While Blitzo and Loona were thinking about another way to assassinate El Dicko, Millie and Moxxie went and came back to the duo with four hotdogs and a pretzel.)

Millie: Eat up everyone! You can't kill anyone on an empty stomach.

Blitzo: Thanks Mills...wait, where did you get money? And did the person that gave you the food even notice you were a fucking demon?

Millie: I found a whole stack in my pant pocket, I guess that woman was a real hard worker, or a gold-digger whore.. And to answer your second question, they said I was a good cosplayer or something like that.

Moxxie: Well don't think about it too much, let's just find a place to sit and eat our...dick in an ass?

(Blitzo, Loona, and Millie look at Moxxie with concern and disgust.)

Moxxie: Hey it's not my fault, don't you see it too?

(They all look at each other and nod. And they found a bench and ate their hotdogs and broke up the pretzel into four pieces.)

Blitzo: That was honeslty such a good dick in an ass, I might want more later if we still have enough money.

Loona: What the fuck Blitzo? Actually it was kind of good.

Blitzo: Exactly. Now get your asses up; we've got a douche to kill! After I make a phone call with Stolas.

(Blitzo dials Stolas. Stolas was lounging on Blitzo's chair.)

Stolas: Hi Blitzo! So how's your time killing El Dicko?

Blitzo: Well, we kinda got FUCKED by him. He exploded our car and all of our weapons are in the FUCKING RIVER. So yea, that's how we're doing. How's the office? Doing well?

Stolas: Oh yes Blitzo, the office is doing very well. The crowd that wanted El Dicko killed totally calmed down and went home.

(Stolas looks at the door, while an angry mob pounces on it.)

Stolas: Mhm...yep.. very calm.

Blitzo: Well alright, is Octavia with you? I needed more assistance with some duties around the office.

(Stolas looks at Octavia, pushing on the door to block the angry mob outside of the office.)

Stolas: Yeah she's doing great.

(Stolas puts down the phone.)

Stolas: How are you my starfire?

(Octavia looks at Stolas, and gives him a death glare.)

Octavia: I should've stayed home today...

(Stolas smiles, and goes back to the conversation with Blitzo.)

Stolas: So besides your weapons plummetting into the river and losing your vehicle, how was the trip?

Blitzo: Well we did eat some really good food, it was like a dick surrounded by an ass. And some doughy thing covered with a lot of salty shit, it was really good.

Stolas: Wow..seems like you had a fun time.

(A loud crash shakes the office room.)

Blitzo: STOLAS, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! ARE YOU WRECKING MY FUCKING OFFICE?

Stolas: Uhhhh TA-TA BLITZO HAHAHA, LOVE YOU MWAH MWA-

(Stolas hangs up)

Blitzo: That fucking owl...

(Meanwhile, back at the office...)

Stolas: Oh shit!

Marcy: Where the fuck is El Dicko?!

Tracy: You said he shall be here now! And now he isn't! So where is he?

Stolas: Look, our friends in the human world are having a bit of trouble. Now if you-

Lisa: That doesn't excuse you from this tyranny!

Stolas: It's not tyranny, ma'am! It's-

James: If he doesn't come here in the next twelve hours, this office will never see the light of day again!

Stolas: Sir, if you can just stop, that would be much appreciated!

Neil: Whatever, "owl!"

Brad: Come on, guys. Let's get the fuck outta here. He's no use for us at this point.

Carrie: Agreed. Dickhead.

(Lisa gave a raspberry to Stolas and flipped him off before everyone left the room.)

Octavia: What did Blitzo do to have this shit-ton of people?

Stolas: Long story, sweetie.

Octavia: Well, it's all over the place! Tell him to do better next time, so that we don't get bozos like them busting in again!

Stolas: Will do.

Part 6
(Fade to El Dicko's hideout. El Dicko was drinking some whiskey as Hernando approached him.)

Hernando: Boss, you ain't gonna like this.

(Hernando showed El Dicko CCTV footage of the I.M.P. gang in Brooklyn.)

El Dicko: What?!

Hernando: Yes, I know it's hard to believe that, but-

El Dicko: Silence!

Hernando: Yes, boss.

(El Dicko threw his whiskey to the ground, shattering it.)

El Dicko: Damn it, these demons are as tough as we are. We are going to need lure-ins.

Hernando: What do you mean by that?

El Dicko: You know... distractions?!

Hernando: Ohhh... right.

El Dicko: (to himself) My god, you're so retarded.

Hernando: I heard that!

El Dicko: Did it sound like I asked?

Hernando: True that.

El Dicko: Enough chit-chat, Hernando. Hire people. Tell them their goals. Get those demons to our lair.

Hernando: Yes, boss!

(Hernando left the lair.)

El Dicko: Nice try, Devils. But soon, you'll lose the game this time.

(Fade to the I.M.P. gang entering City Point BKLYN. They were all [excluding Loona] in new human disguises.)

Moxxie: Why are we here, sir?

Blitzo: You can't kill someone without some gadgets. I bet this place has stuff we can use to combat.

Millie: It's been awhile since we've been to a place like this, right, boss?

Blitzo: Right, Mills. This place is bringing back old memories.

Loona: Damn, you guys get the good stuff and I just stay in one spot.

Blitzo: Because you know how much I care for you, Loony.

Loona: Stop calling me that, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Right, Loony!

(Loona sighed. Then, she spotted an emo-looking teenage boy drinking a water bottle.)

TBA.