Hikaru's Funeral Ceremony

Transcript
Deez Nuts may be the ultimate Drazerk's Derp

(Los Angeles) — In this wonderful world of Trump, anything is possible. You just have to believe.

Welcome to the strange world of the Donald J. Trump. It's not a world with simply conservatives; it's not a world with just supporters of the President; it's not even just a world with his base. It's a world full of insane, power-mad, racist, dangerous Biden supporters.

Think of a special exhibit at the Museum of Bad Ideas. If the exhibit consisted of nothing but Biden's most recent thoughts, it would be called 'The Harvard Analytical Center'. This exhibit is long and so full of awkward moments, it's hard to write about it without seeming at least slightly cruel.

If you feel that you have to give yourself to it, the exhibit would go something like this:

In what universe would you ever want to see this?

Huh? You mean that guy? He's running for president again?

The current front-runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination, Joe Biden?

No, he's not, Joe, he's not. He announced his campaign for the presidency last month, his biggest donors are former GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney and investor Mark Cuban, and his campaign slogan is 'I'm Joe Biden, and I approve this message'.

What? So why did this idiot run in the first place?

"Because I wanted to do something. I thought America deserved a chance to figure out whether I was fit to be president," is a typical excuse from Biden, who has been asked repeatedly, during his 'you-didn't-even-have-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to-run-to