What Not To Do While You're In The Middle Ages

Ever After Fable is an American-Canadian 3D computer animated fantasy film.

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Summary

Cast

Debby Ryan as Jace Knight,

Katy Perry as Goldilocks,

Jamie Chung as Snow White,

Seth Green as Atticus,

Spencer Boldman as Gunter,

James Franco as

Garrett Clayton as Jack Spriggins,

Taylor Swift as

Tobey Maguire as

Coco Jones as Red Riding Hood, Her real name is revealed to be Elizabeth Scarlet Rose Johnson II

Cuba Gooding Jr. as The Magic Mirror,

Jane Lynch as Queen Grimhilde,

Ice Cube as

Whoopi Goldberg as Red Riding Hood's spunky paternal grandmother

Kate Higgins as Adriana,

Kath Soucie as Linda,

Grey Griffin as Jacqueline,

Lex Lang as Cinderella's father, a rich nobleman who refuse to acknowledge Cinderella as his own daughter as he condemns and blames her for the death of his first wife.

Quotes Linda:You look wonderful.
 * Adriana: How do i look?

Cinderella:(dryly)Yes and all you need now for the perfect ice cream sundae look is to have a little umbrella sticking out of your head. Jace Knight:Look, i get your concerns, but i'm sorry. What can i say? I guess i have a thing for midgets.
 * Adriana: No one asked you Cindy.

If she's marrying the dwarf, I am not going to be her bridesmaid. Jace Knight:Well mom, you're wasting more time shouting that you are driving to...wherever you're going!
 * Mildred Knight:(yells) JACE FRANCINE KNIGHT! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! STROLLING AROUND NEW YORK, I SUPPOSE! YOU'LL MAKE ME LATE, YOU KNOW!

Mildred Knight:Jace, i don't have time for this and it's none of your business of where i go and why.

Jace Knight:This is a date, isn't it?

Mildred Knight:Jace, you don't understand.

Jace Knight:You don't just have dinner with your children and your boss, go out with him again the very next night and not expect me to assume this.

Mildred Knight:It's not like that.

Jace Knight:(shouted) But it is! You think you can replace dad!

Mildred Knight:(shouted) DON'T YOU DARE SAY HIS NAME UNDER THIS ROOF! (took a deep breath) Edgar is bathing and Shadow is asleep in his kennel. Supper is in the oven, take it out in exactly ten0

Jace Knight:I got it. I know how to take care of myself. I'm eighteen. I'm not a child anymore, you know. Jace Knight:Why?
 * Mildred Knight: Shut up Shadow!
 * Mildred Knight:Sorry Jace, that one's mine.

Mildred Knight:(sternly) Because i'm the parent and i said so. Cinderella:Yeah, whenever you freaks let me.
 * Linda:Ugh, don't you ever take a shower?

Dorienne: What did you just say?

Cinderella:I said i can only take a shower whenever you freaks let me.

Dorienne: That's what i thought. (slaps Cinderella across the face)

Cinderella rubs her red, swollen cheek

Cinderella:Jeez, sorry. The dwarves, however, just gave her blank looks.
 * Snow White Look midgets, I've been wandering around lost in the woods and haven't eaten anything with nutritional substance since last week. You think we could cut the chat until after you've given me something to eat? (snapped her fingers)

Atticus:We don't eat.

Edmund:Yo! Why do you think dwarves are so friggin' short?

Snow White: I was assuming it was genetics! Gerald:What?
 * Snow White: Gerald?

Snow White:Not you moron, I was talking to Prince Charming.

Gerald:What that thing? But it's so ugly. You sure it's a charming prince?

Snow White:Uh Gerald, what are you doing here?

Gerald:Live here stupid.

Prince Charming:By the way, why have you got no hair? And why are you wearing a stone tube top?

Snow White violently slapped him

Snow White:Just hurry up and rescue me already!

Prince Charming:Uh...Actually Mattie, your stepmother offered a reward for your recovery. Three full hours on the royal gaming system and unlimited pizza of my choice. Sure mom, which room number is Grandma Lulu in again?
 * Honey! I have something for you to take to your grandmother!

Actually sweetie, Grandma Lulu was in process of rewriting her will eight now. I was thinking that you could take these to your father's mother.

But she loves way out in the middle of the woods. Aren't you concerned about my safety?

Don't worry darling, i'm sure that we didn't put you through all of those years of karate for nothing. You'll be fine.

But i didn't take karate, i took ballet.

He wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

Jace Knight:Look, i get your concerns, but i'm sorry. What can i say? I guess i have a thing for midgets.

Red Riding Hood:If she's marrying the dwarf, I am not going to be her bridesmaid.

Transcript

Snow White eventually settled down in a foreign country where she became the originator of the gothic movement and married a woodcutter, but drove him crazy with her depressing lunacy and chronic air headedness. The magic mirror was swept up and melted down, later being used to make a new mirror with a phobia of women in their forties. Red and Jack had a successful first date after Jace had become queen, and they continue to be one of those nauseatingly sweet couples to this very day. Red's grandmother continued to live out in the woods after she got a new security system which included an illegally smuggled attack lion and a rifle. Red's mother had stopped baking once and for all when a french bakery was built right next door. She also gained forty pounds.