Avengers League Academy/Grand Opening Part One

Grand Opening Part One is the first issue of the comic series Avengers League Academy.

Transcript
A montage of teenage superheroes being defeated, captured, or endangered is shown on a large TV. When it is finished, all the lights turn on, revealing the Avengers League, S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and a few others were watching. Amanda Waller walks up on to a stage, revealing she was the one playing the footage. They all turn, revealing Ant-Man. Everyone in the room quietly looks at each other and nods. It suddenly cuts mid-sentence, revealing Hank standing outside of the actual Avengers League Academy building. He sighs and then opens the doors. He walks down the hallway, looking around at everything before walking into a room which is full of nine students who all go quiet and look at him when he enters. Amadeus Cho looks around and realizes nobody laughed. Hank reaches for a clipboard. Miles bursts into the room. Hank flips a chalkboard revealing equations on the other end.
 * Waller: And that's not even the worst of it.
 * Captain America: My god, is that really what kids are putting themselves through just to be like us?
 * Green Lantern: I don't get it, what's the difference between them and the Young Titans?
 * Batman: The Young Titans aren't just random teens who threw on a superhero suit.
 * Black Panther: These children do not know what kind of danger they are putting themselves into by donning a costume. We must stop them at all costs. Yes, they will hate us for it but when they are older they will realize it was for their own well being.
 * The Flash: But quite a few of them have powers, you expect them to live without using them?
 * Black Panther: I expect them to wait until their older.
 * The Flash: But they're powerful now. They have the ability to help people, do you just want them to sit by the sidelines while people get hurt?
 * Batman: They should leave it in capable hands.
 * Captain Marvel: And if we're not fast enough? what then?
 * Captain America: Children could get hurt!
 * ???: Hold on everyone!
 * Hank: My name is Hank Pym, I'm a reserve member of the Avengers League.
 * The Flash: Hi Hank.
 * Hank: Yes, hello. Now, as Batman pointed out, none of these teen heroes are trained. But what if they were?
 * Batman: Explain.
 * Hank: I propose we open an academy for these youngsters, one that will teach them how to be the heroes they want to be and will also teach them the basic things a school has to. I know that some people here aren't the biggest fans of each other, but I think that if all of us chip in and work together we can make Avengers League Academy real.
 * Waller: That can work.
 * Black Panther: And who do you propose heads this "Avengers League Academy?"
 * Hank: My idea is that I would be the head of the project that way if anything goes wrong I will take the blame for it and none of your reputations will be harmed.
 * Waller: I can't help but feel this is more S.H.I.E.L.D. territory.
 * Captain Marvel: And let you brainwash a generation of heroes into your beliefs? nobody here trusts you, Waller. Get used to it.
 * Waller: Fine.
 * Captain America: So how exactly do we build a whole academy on such short notice?
 * Hank: We have some of the fastest men on planet earth sitting here today. If we all cooperate we could get it done in under a day.
 * Batman: And how do we get students?
 * Hank: I doubt any of these children would say no to an offer like this, Batman.
 * Hank: Then it's settled. Avengers League Academy...
 * Hank: Is open!
 * Hank: Cat got your tongue?
 * Amadeus: More like ant got our tongues! ha!
 * Amadeus: I would take a pity laugh. Anyone?
 * Sam: Uh... ha...
 * Amadeus: Thank you. Thank you very much.
 * Hank: ...Well, that was weird, but I'm very happy to see you all already know who I am. Saves me the awkward introduction.
 * Sam: Ha!
 * Amadeus: Oh come on, he gets an honest laugh?
 * Sam: You aren't funny.
 * Hank: Okay, let's not start an argument.
 * Hank: Okay, on this list are your real names and your hero names. I'll list them off and you say "here" if you're... well, here. Amadeus Cho.
 * Amadeus: Here!
 * Hank: Samuel Alexander, Nova.
 * Sam: Here!
 * Hank: Raven.
 * Raven: Hm.
 * Hank: Duke Thomas, The Signal.
 * Duke: What's up?
 * Hank: Bart Allen, Impulse.
 * Bart: Yo!
 * Hank: Kevin Plunder, Ka-Zar.
 * Ka-Zar: I am here!
 * Hank: Quentin Quire, Kid Omega.
 * Quentin: Does that other guy have a saber tooth tiger?
 * Hank: Conner Kent, Superboy.
 * Conner: Here.
 * Hank: And Miles Morales, Spider-Man.
 * Quentin: Spider-Man's here? sweet! where is he?
 * Miles: I'm here! I'm here! don't mark me as late!
 * Quentin: Wait, that’s not Spider-Man.
 * Miles: No, but I'm close.
 * Hank: Miles here has similar powers to Spider-Man plus a few extra.
 * Miles: I'm also pretty smart and... shy and... everyone is staring at me... hi...
 * Bart: Aw, he's adorable!
 * Raven: Whatever.
 * Miles: Oh no, I've been here for five seconds and someone already hates me, dad was right, I shouldn't have transferred out of my old school!
 * Duke: Dude, calm down, she's an edgy goth chick, it's what she does.
 * Quentin: Yeah man, don't freak out, be like me! an Omega-Level Mutant! which I am!
 * Sam: Gee, I'm so confused, are you an Omega-Level Mutant?
 * Hank: Well, at any rate, welcome to Avengers League Academy, where you will be trained to be the world's greatest heroes! and your first lesson is...
 * Hank: Math!
 * Bart: ...Wait, what?
 * Ka-Zar: I grew up in jungle. Don't know math. Don't know much, really...
 * Hank: You heard me. Math.
 * Quentin: Isn't this supposed to be a superhero school?
 * Hank: You all dropped out of your regular schools to be here. If all I taught was how to be a superhero you'd be the dumbest superheroes ever. The last dumb superhero was Deadpool, and we all know what happened to him.
 * Miles: Who?
 * Hank: Exactly. He still does hero work though.
 * Quentin: So doesn't that mean we can be heroes even if we're dumb?
 * Hank: Yes but nobody likes a dumb hero, everyone tries to avoid them. You ever saw one of those guys at a party where they're always sitting in the corner and you feel sorry for them so you talk to them but then you find out why no one was talking to them in the first place? that's Deadpool. The point is don't be a Deadpool. Oh, some dumb heroes might become villains or mercenaries. That’s what happened to Deadpool.
 * Sam: Being a mercenary sounds pretty dope.
 * Hank: It's not dope!
 * Ka-Zar: I agree with bucket head boy. Being meerkat-hairy does sound quite nice.
 * Hank: Being a mercenary means hurting innocents. And hurting innocents means that eventually me or one of my friends will have to fight you!
 * Duke: Okay, jeez, we won't become mercenaries.
 * Quentin: Okay, well, now that that's out of the way I'll ask what we've all been wondering. Is Ka-Zar dumb? like, uh... is anybody else hearing what he's saying over here?
 * Hank: We'll get to English soon.
 * Amadeus: Hey, what's going on with Conner? he hasn't said anything but "here."
 * Miles: Hey yeah, what's going on with him?
 * Conner: I like to keep to myself most of the time.
 * Raven: Same...
 * Miles: I respect that.
 * Quentin: So your name is Superboy. Is it Miles is named Spider-Man but he's not actually Spider-Man or...?
 * Conner: I know Superman personally.
 * Quentin: Care to Explain?
 * Conner: Well, I was originally made to... no sugar coating this, I was made to kill him but I ended up getting amnesia, Superman sat me on a roof and gave me a really long speech about how awesome I was and by the end of it he gave me the name "Kon-El" which means "Guest of El" in Kryptonian.
 * Duke: Wait, you were made?
 * Sam: You have amnesia?
 * Miles: You were evil?
 * Conner: No, I wasn't evil, I lost my memories before I could even try to get him. Apparently, I was made by a group of guys called Cadmus but, as I said, amnesia, can't remember anything about my time with them.
 * Miles: Wow.
 * Raven: I can relate.
 * Conner: To the amnesia?
 * Raven: No...
 * Quentin: Then wh... oh... oh man... you were evil, weren't you? haha! hey guys, we got ourselves a couple of Evel Knievels over here!
 * Raven: It‘s not my fault I was born into it.
 * Quentin: Oh yeah, that's what all you evil folks say! you can never admit it just feels good to be bad! ha!
 * Raven: No, my father is a demon. I'm the only one of his children who broke away from the path he had planned for us.
 * Quentin: Oh please, that's--
 * Amadeus: Dude, what the hell is your deal?
 * Ka-Zar: Tiger brother Zabu does not like Q-man.
 * Quentin: Okay, okay, I'll shut up, but don't come crawling to me when blue hood over here tries to wipe you all off the face of the planet.
 * Amadeus: Please if anyone does it, it will be you.
 * Quentin: I could beat you up with my brain right now! I am an Omega-Level Mutant and I demand respect!
 * Conner: We'll show you respect when you deserve it.
 * Hank: Okay, well... tone set, I guess... now, getting back to maths. Who can tell me the square root of 64?
 * Miles: 8