Sunwreck/Fake trailers transcripts

Kickass Assassin
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Universal Studios logo then plays followed by a bunch of people in suits walking inside a building. A figure is shown in watching over New York, being played by Anthony Hopkins. Then, it shows an explosion, then followed by a subtitle saying "This Summer", leading to Zac Derby's character loading a gun.
 * Narrator: In a world where evil exists and there's literally evil everywhere, an agency is set to dismantle TBD and only one of his agents is able to stop an evil dude.
 * ???: Soon, the world as we know will change and I'll be the one in charge.
 * Narrator: This Summer, from Universal Pictures, after the blockbuster hits Fireball, Oppenheimer and TBD, Zac Derby stars as TBD.

The Bartender
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer logo then plays followed by TBD.

Ear Pains
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The 20th Century Fox logo then plays followed by TBD.

The Toiletman
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Paramount Pictures logo then plays followed by TBD.

Sherlock Holmes the Third
The trailer starts with a slide saying "The following preview has been approved for all audiences by the Motion Pictures Association of America". The Warner Bros. Pictures logo then plays followed by TBD.