Toon City “Night Clubhouse” Script

Note: I understand if you don’t know a lot of the characters or shows. If you want to, feel free to look up about them, but try not to tell me more about them or share info about them just in case I don’t feel comfortable about that.

(Toon City. Day. At Sputnik’s apartment, she is reading a magazine.)

Sputnik (a pink teenage smart pig from Astroblast!): Makeup tips: never use the so called “glittery gloss”. No. (flips to the next page) Celebrity gossip: Harry Wolf turns 80, and he is young for his age! Nuh uh. (keeps flipping through pages) Red carpet, Q&A, advice, slumber party ideas, hair care- wait. (flips back to the slumber party page) Slumber party ideas?! (reading) “Ever wanted to throw the best slumber party ever? Now you can! By glamming up your guests with our beauty tips, picking the right movie to watch, ordering delicious food, and playing hilarious games, here are some tips to throw the best slumber party ever.” I gotta read all this!

(Sputnik starts reading. A time card reading “30 minutes later” appears.)

French Narrator (from SpongeBob SquarePants): 30 minutes later...

(After that time period, Sputnik’s face is buried in her magazine. Another pig walks in, who is Sputnik’s sister. Her name is Neptune.)

Neptune: Sputnik, you’ve stuck your face in the magazine for half an hour. What’s going on?

Sputnik: (gets up) I just read all these magazine slumber party tips, and it took 30 minutes to finish!

Neptune: Uh, hello? I’ve read that article before, and it only took 3 minutes.

Sputnik: Oh, Neptune, this slumber party idea is so exciting, I’M LOSING MY MIND RIGHT NOW!

Neptune: Calm down! If you really get into the idea, then I’m sure it’ll be enjoyable.

Sputnik: And sure I can! Neptune...

Neptune: Oh no.

Sputnik: I’m...

Neptune: Please don’t say it.

Sputnik: Hosting...

Neptune: Please, Sputnik.

Sputnik: A...

Neptune: (gulps)

Sputnik: Small, quiet smoothie party for later in the month.

Neptune: (sighs in relief) That’s a relief.

Sputnik: And a slumber party!

(Neptune gasps, and screams as the camera cuts to the exterior of the building. Birds, including Tweety Bird, fly away from the loudness. Cut to a calendar as the text “One week later...” appears below it, superimposed onto the screen. It then fades out as Sputnik marks the previous day off. She is standing in her kitchen, looking at all the slumber party stuff on the table as Neptune struggles to carry more in due to the weight.)

Sputnik: Tonight’s the night. The night of my 30th semi-annual SLUMBER PARTY!

Neptune: So...let me get this straight. (puts stuff down) You’ve had two slumber parties a year?

Sputnik: Actually, six a year. That means every two months. Which would make it semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-semi annual slumber party. Since the first slumber party I had was when I was 9, and I’m 15 now, that would make it, (counting) 1, 2, 3, 36 slumber parties I’ve had in the past. This is my 37th, aka the first of the year. No, wait, it’s March, and I had one in January, so 38th.

Neptune: (staring at her) You are too much, woman. (continues setting up)

Sputnik: Okay, let’s see what I’ve got. Snacks? Check. Games? Check. Movies? Check. Beauty supplies? Check. Invitations? Invitations? Ahem, me. Invitations? (in realization) Oh no. No, no, no!

Neptune: What’s wrong, Sputnik?

Sputnik: (big breath) I forgot to send out invitations since I don’t know who to pick since I don’t know most people well since I’m new to this town since I just moved since my place was old and smelly since there was a sewer pipe broken since rats ate it since they were hungry and the last time I had a slumber party I still was in my old town but I have a second home in space but no one cares! (breathes in exhaustion from saying all that in one breath)

Neptune: 1. That needed some air. (this referring to how long and fast she said that) 2. Why don’t you invite other teens in the city?

Sputnik: But how? And isn’t there too many teens?

Neptune: Just do what I do: gather them all, and select a few!

Sputnik: Won’t that be crazy?

Neptune: Trust me. Someone will come to your mind.

(At the city hall, Sputnik has gathered every teen in Toon City.)

Sputnik: So...so...many...

Neptune: (next to her) Think, Sputnik, think!

Sputnik: Err...err...AGH!

(Sputnik faints from thinking so hard. Neptune gasps, and rushes to her aid.)

Neptune: Sputnik! (testing her brain to help her) What’s your favorite color?

Sputnik: (wakes up) Zebra.

Leni: (in the crowd) That’s what I was gonna say!

(Note: This scene is a callback to the Loud House episode “Sleuth or Consequences”, where Leni was interviewed in one scene by Lincoln and Clyde for questions to figure out a mystery, and thinking it was for TV, she said her favorite color was zebra, aka “black and white” .)

Neptune: Then we’re gonna have to figure out who Sputnik is closest to.

Halley (a pink teenage adventurous bunny from Astroblast!): I am close to her! We’ve been best friends since kindergarten!

Neptune: Okay then, Halley. Come on up!

(Halley squeals, and rushes to hug Sputnik.)

Halley: Sputnik! Hi! (hugs her tight) Oh, it’s been so long!

Sputnik: Halley, we’ve last seen each other yesterday.

Candace (redhead busting sister from Phineas and Ferb): Pick me!

Stacy (Candace’s Asian best friend): No, me!

Neptune: Candace, you go. Sputnik helps tutor you, right?

Candace: YES! And can you help bust my brothers in return?

Sputnik: Not an option.

Candace: Fine. (silence) At least bust them for me?

(Sputnik sighs.)

Sputnik: You’re in.

(Candace runs up on stage.)

Courtney (teenage brunette competitor from Total Drama), Lindsay (not so smart teenage blonde competitor from Total Drama), and Bridgette (blonde surfer competitor from Total Drama): Pick us!

Courtney: She helped us win a race on that island once!

Neptune: Alrighty! Courtney, Lindsay, and Bridgette, come on up!

Lindsay: (walking on the stage with them) Ooh! What are we doing?

Bridgette: She’s inviting us to a slumber party.

Lindsay: Oh, okay, so we sleep the whole party?

Leni: Exactly!

(Courtney and Bridgette facepalm.)

Neptune: Lori, you always go to the mall with Sputnik and Halley. Care to join them?

Lori: And miss college and dates with Bobby? Why?!

Sputnik: Selfish!

Leni: Lori’s a cell fish? I get it since she uses her phone.

Neptune: And Leni, since you’re Lori’s sister and have the same level of intelligence as Lindsay, you can join too.

Leni: YAY!

(Leni runs up on stage as Lori follows her, annoyed.)

Lori: Whatever.

Neptune: Okay, Sputnik. You’ve almost completed the 10 person limit. Who will be your last two?

Sputnik: Umm...

(Sputnik sees Brittany (female girly chipmunk from Alvin and the Chipmunks) loudly gossiping on the phone, Pearl (teenage whale from SpongeBob SquarePants) jumping up and down, cheering, and Caitlin (teenager from 6Teen) squealing annoyingly, until she finally sees Frankie (teenage girl from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends) and Wendy (tomboyish teenager from Gravity Falls) laughing and chatting. Sputnik smiles.)

Sputnik: I’ll take Frankie Foster and Wendy Corduroy. They’re really great friends, their performance in their band really does rock, and they get along perfectly.

Neptune: Then it’s settled! You guys are in!

Frankie: Yes!

Wendy: What?! I can’t destroy my image at a girly girl party!

Neptune: Ahem. You’re Sputnik’s friend, are you?

Wendy: Well, I suppose I can join.

Neptune: Excellent! Come on up! (they do so) Everyone else, DISMISSED!

(The other teenagers complain, cry, groan, and whine, and leave.)

Lola Loud: Oh, you’ll see me at your next sleepover, Sputnik Snorterbell. (Note: Snorterbell is my fictional last name for Sputnik) YOU’LL SEE ME!

(Luna walks up and carries her away as she laughs maniacally. All ten of the girls are now on the stage together.)

Neptune: Well, I’m off with my boyfriend. Don’t break the windows with your squealing.

(Neptune leaves.)

Sputnik: Alright, girls. LET’S HAVE FUN!

(They all cheer and run off, except for Lindsay and Leni.)

Leni: Actually, we change our minds.

Lindsay: Yeah. Sleeping all the time at the party is boring.

(Lori walks back to them and leads them away. At Sputnik’s apartment, she sets everything up. The girls she picked are also there.)

Sputnik: Ladies and gentle-women, tomboys and girly girls, welcome to my 38th semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-semi annual slumber party! At this party, we will do everything girls do: makeovers!

Girls: Ooh!

Sputnik: Board games!

Girls: Aah!

Sputnik: Magazines!

Girls: Wow!

Sputnik: Pizza!

Girls: Yum!

Sputnik: Horror movies!

Girls: Eek!

Sputnik: Pillow fights!

Girls: Yay!

Sputnik: And the best part of all...sleeping!

(The girls simply stare at her after this last remark.)

Wendy: Oh. Okay.

Sputnik: Just kidding! We’re staying up all night!

(They cheer, except for Leni and Lindsay.)

Leni: But how do we sleep if it’s a “sleep” over?

Sputnik: Never mind that. Do what you want!

Lindsay: Oh. Yay!

Sputnik: Alright, girls. Let’s have fun!

Girls: YEAH!!!

Sputnik: PILLOW FIGHT!

(Sputnik hits Frankie with a pillow, and a pillow fight starts between the girls. They laugh as they have fun. A montage then starts of them having fun at the slumber party: they play a board game, watch and scream at a horror movie, do each other’s nails, eat pizza, read magazines, do karaoke, make a movie, and lastly, finish baking cupcakes. They sit down and eat.)

Halley: Thank you for this, Sputnik. Out of all 39 of your slumber parties, this one being #39, this one is the best.

Sputnik: Halley, you always say that.

Halley: Duh! It’s common at every sleepover to name it the best. Oh, who am I kidding? ALL OF THEM ARE THE BEST!

(Suddenly, the doorbell rings.)

Lindsay: Oh! They’re here!

Sputnik: Who?

(Lindsay runs up to the door, and opens it, revealing Gwen (a gothic teenage female competitor from Total Drama), Lucy Loud (gothic girl from The Loud House), Haiku (Lucy’s best friend), and Raven (gothic heroine from Teen Titans / Teen Titans Go!).)

Lindsay: Heyyyyyyy, party emos!

Gwen: (sighs) Hey, Lindsay. We’re here.

Sputnik: Lindsay, why’d you have to invite the goth girls? They hate slumber parties!

Haiku: Actually, we just came here for the horror movies.

Halley: Nice try. You missed them.

Raven: Good thing we brought backup DVDs. (holds a bunch of horror movie DVDs)

Sputnik: Oh, no! No! There are only 10 people including me allowed here, and you’re not one of them!

Lucy: Why can’t it be 100?

Sputnik: WHAT?!

Lori: Ooh! I’ll literally invite Carol and Whitney.

Leni: Totes inviting Fiona!

Courtney: Can Beth come over?

Halley: Let me invite my surfer friends.

Bridgette: Ditto, and my boyfriend.

Sputnik: Hey! No boys allowed!

Lori: Not if I invite Bobby.

Candace: Stacy and Jenny too! And Jeremy.

Wendy: Let me just invite Tambry, Nate, Terrence, and Thomas.

Frankie: I’m telling Anne and Mac to come over!

Sputnik: Hey! Mac’s a kid, and this place is for...

(The doorbell rings. Sputnik opens it, and at the door is a crowd of boys and girls, old and young.)

Sputnik:...teenage girls.

(A sea of them floods in, and the house is now jam packed with toons.)

Sputnik: Get out, all of you! Hey! No channel surfing!

(Bridgette is pretending to surf with her friends holding her up on a surfboard in front of the TV while changing channels with a remote. The Tibble Twins (from Arthur) are jumping on the couch.)

Sputnik: Stop jumping on that! It’s gonna break! (sees something) Halley! No playing soccer in the house!

(Halley doesn’t listen and kicks the soccer ball out of the apartment window, causing it to land on a car, breaking it and setting off it’s siren. Comet (a brown male teenage dog from Astroblast!) is sitting with Katie and Sadie (teenage twin sister competitors from Total Drama).)

Comet: So, wanna get out of here and catch a movie?

Sputnik: COMET! Go home!

Comet: Alright. (leaves, but comes back to say:) What’s your numbers?

(Sputnik kicks him out and slams the door on him. Sputnik sits where he was sitting.)

Katie: Hi, Sputnik!

Sadie: Your friend is super cute. He once told me about-

(Sputnik kicks them out as well. Granny (from Looney Tunes) is standing in the kitchen, drinking tea. Sputnik walks up to her, confused that she’s here.)

Sputnik: Uhh, what is an old lady doing here?

Granny: I’ve heard your tea is delicious! Can you give me a few more cups for Tweety and Sylvester?

(Sylvester is wrecking the place trying to catch Tweety. He breaks a trophy by accident.)

Sputnik: (gasps) MY FIRST EVER NOBEL PRIZE! Alright, EVERYONE CALM DOWN AND LISTEN UP!

(They all stop and listen.)

Sputnik: This was supposed to be a nice, fun sleepover for me and my friends, until you all showed up and ruined it! If you could just go home and take your belongings with you, I would appreciate it!

(The toons stop, look at each other, and say...)

Toons: Nah!

(...and continue partying. Sputnik looks at her friends, annoyed.)

Sputnik: Thanks a lot, guys. Because of you, my slumber party is a disaster! (gets an idea) Unless I find a way to keep everything under control! Hmm. This place is pretty cramped with hundreds of people. I know where to hold it!

(Later, at an empty warehouse, the slumber party is now being held there. Sputnik and her friends are watching, happy.)

Sputnik: This is perfect! Now I’m sure nothing can go wrong, right?

(Suddenly, a horn fanfare plays as the doors open. In comes Mayor Bugs Bunny and his friends except Daffy and Porky.)

Candace: Umm, what is the mayor doing here?

Bugs: Eh, what’s up docs? I heard you were throwing a party. (silence) COUNT ME IN!

(The gang starts dancing.)

Sputnik: Well, at least the cops haven’t found us yet.

(The cops: Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Droopy, the Park Ranger, and Barney Rubble, all classic cartoon characters, march in.)

Daffy: Ahem. Is this a party in a no trespassing zone?

Sputnik: (sighs) Yes. It was a slumber party, but we had to move.

Porky: Th-th-then I’m afraid we’re gonna have t-t-to ask you to stop this p-p-p-party and move somewhere e-else.

(The toons complain and protest.)

Toons: (protesting) We will not go, we will not sleep! This party is for us to keep!

Droopy: Wait. Is that donuts I smell?

Park Ranger: In that case, (sobbing) I’m sorry! You can keep your party!

Barney: Not just keep it, let us in!

(The cops cheer and join the party. Shocked at what they’ve done, Sputnik and her friends leave the party.)

Halley: (angry) Ugh! Now our party is ten times bigger! (sarcastically) Thanks for coming up with this idea, Sputnik.

Lori: We would turn you into an animal pretzel, but only if the SWAT team came and took this party away.

(Note: “Animal pretzel” is a reference to Lori’s running gag in the Loud House on how she would say she would turn people into a “human pretzel” when she was angry.)

(The SWAT team, the SWAT Kats (from their own show) arrives right after she says that.)

Sputnik: Of course they did.

(Sputnik gets tackled by her friends, and a fight starts. Suddenly, everything starts shaking, and everyone stops what they’re doing.)

Leni: What’s going on?!

(It turns out the warehouse has been on a mountain of snow, Mount Inkflake, all along, and an avalanche is starting. The warehouse begins to topple.)

Frankie: RUN!!!

(The girls run away and scream as the mountain begins to collapse, sending the warehouse sliding down the hill and chasing the girls. Everyone in there is screaming and bracing themselves. The warehouse reaches a slope that leads off the mountain, and the girls gets in as it slides off and heads straight for the ground. Everyone screams and panics. The warehouse hits the ground hard, destroying it, and everyone tumbles out and lands at the entrance to the mountain. They get up.)

Bridgette: That was...violent.

Courtney: Yeah, but look at all the snow!

(Everyone plays and runs around in the snow, enjoying themselves. Sputnik and her friends get up.)

Wendy: Now that that’s over with, what time is it?

Halley: (checking the time) Shoot. It’s 9:30 pm!

Sputnik: My family will be home any minute!

(The girls whistle for a bus, and it takes them home. Once there, they rush into the lobby, get into two elevators, both holding five at each, and it carries them up to Floor 06.)

(Note: Floor 06 is a reference to my birth year, 2006.)

(They exit the elevators, and run to their apartment door. Sputnik unlocks the door, and once they get in, the coast is clear.)

Frankie: Okay. The coast is clear.

Sputnik: Now that it is, who wants to talk about boys?

Girls: WE DO!

(Sputnik’s parents, Laser and Estrella, and her sister Neptune arrive home.)

Estrella: Hi, Sputnik! How was your slumber party?

(Sputnik looks out her window, and sees a lot of chaos going on in the streets from the toons holding their own slumber party. Sputnik smiles, and looks back at her family.)

Sputnik: You know what? It was the best slumber party ever.

Halley: Don’t I always say that?

(The girls laugh. The family smiles, and heads into their rooms.)

Sputnik: (to the viewers) What can I say? When it comes to slumber parties, I know how to make things crazy. In a fun way.

(Police helicopters begin to show up at the apartment window.)

Police Officer: (into a microphone) Freeze! Are you the one in charge of this mess?

Sputnik: (to the viewers) And accidentally, in an illegal way.

(Sputnik smiles nervously at the audience to close out the episode. The end.)