Nostalgia Critic-The Seventh Brother

(shows Nostalgia Critic Intro)

NC: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic I remember it so you don't have to...I guess some of you remember my Japan review of Jack and the Beanstalk.

Supersamus: Surprise!

NC: Aaaah! What are YOU doing here?

Supersamus: I wanted to review something else with ya!

NC: Well, those Kid's WB days are OVER! Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than here your stupid ass-kissing with Knottyorchid!

Supersamus: It's not ass-kissing, we're just pals!

NC:(shoves Supersamus out)

NC:Anyways perhaps you remember my Jack and The Beanstalk review?

(shows footage from review)

NC:(voiceover) It was weird it was insane and non questionable but know I have found a film that probably i or no one else has ever heard of.

(cuts back to NC)

NC:And that is named The Seventh Brother

(Knock on door)

NC:Samus i already told you were not doing another crossover.

(shows Knottyorchid at the door)

Knottyorchid::um I'm not samus he left a few minutes ago.

NC:Knottyorchid? what are you doing here?

Knottyorchid:I figured you and I could do just a normal crossover together

NC: ok but the movie I'm reviewing is something I don't think you heard of

Knottyorchid:Oh I have

NC:Really?

Knottyorchid:Yea i actually grew up with this movie

NC:Oh ok sure i guess you can talk about Seventh Brother with me.

Knottyorchid:Ok The Seventh Brother

(Shows Seventh Brother logo)

Knottyorchid:(VO):Back in 1991 there was a company known as Feature Films For Families they were a company who made some movies that didn't make much sense including there take on The Velveteen Rabbit.

(shows footage)

NC(voiceover):But somehow The Seventh Brother happens to be there achiever....kind of and I am not sure if this film has any other support.

(cuts back to NC and Knotty)

Knotty:yea it feels like I'm the only fan here who likes this film (calls out) HEY ANYONE HEARD OF THE SEVENTH BROTHER?

(audience is mumbling and looking confused)

Audience Member:The Seventh Brother? what is that?

Audience Member 2:Yea never heard of it?

Knotty:See?

NC:Lets see if this film is a worthy chance or just forgetful like its company this is The Seventh Brother

(shows dusk and forest and shows a sleeping)

NC(VO):So it starts out with a wide forest and shows a sleeping owl who happens to be our storyteller Dr.Albert E Owl

Dr.Albert E Owl:Good Morning or Evening

(Dr. Albert E Owl gets real close to the camera)

(cuts back to NC and Knotty)

NC:Um please can you move back a little your in our bubble

Knotty:Yea (grabs whip and whips at the camera) Back! Back you fowl demon personal space i tell ya personal space!!

Dr.Albert E Owl:I got it I'll recount the story of The Seventh Brother

NC(impersonating Albert) (voiceover:Or in this case the entitre movie your going to have to watch.

(shows credits while car)

Knotty:(voiceover) So as the credits role you gotta give this film credit Critic The Animation is pretty outstanding.

NC (voiceover):Yeah to its credit the animation is not that bad its pretty great not disney great not dreamworks great just great...I mean it almost make me feel like I'm watching a Don Bluth film and the song in the film is a meh..

(Owl sings I Miss You)

NC: Gaaaah! Why is this song so annoying? It sounds like Somewhere Out There (shows a picture of An American Tail) written for the remake of King Kong. (shows the 2005 King Kong poster)

(a knock on the door)

NC: Ugh, who could that be? (gets up and opens the door, revealing to be Supersamus, and NC slams the door and sits back down)

Supersamus (through door): Fuck you! (plays the Doug theme song)

NC: Aaaaaaaaaaah! STOP THAT!

Supersamus: I'll stop if you let me join in on this review.

NC: NO! NEVER!

Supersamus: Okay, enjoy the Doug theme song then! I know you LOVE it!

NC: ALRIGHT, FINE! (lets Supersamus in to join the review)

Supersamus: Yaaaaaaay! What are we reviewing?

NC: YOU'RE REVIEWING THE PIECE OF SHIT THAT'S ON THE TV SCREEN!

Supersamus: Um...

(shows a clip of the owl singing)

NC and Supersamus: Gaaaaaaaaaah!

Knottyorchid: hold on a sec this isn't supposed to happen (rewinds all the way back to the original part)

Knotty: ah thats better (takes out crap parts and throws it away) Sorry someone had the bright idea to make the owl sing plus that doesn't happen.

Knotty(voiceover): Thus we cut to the main character of our story a young puppy named Tiny

(cuts to Tiny sitting and being cute

Audience: Awwww

Supersamus: Um, why are they freaking out? It's just a puppy.

NC: Yeah, puppies are just puppies.

Knotty: Really? look at this scene

(shows Tiny in a baseball hat)

(Audience Aw's again while pictures are flashing at him)

(cuts back to NC Samus looking confused and Knotty)

Knotty:See he gets fan service a lot. (takes picture)

NC(Voiceover): So on the way home it starts raining and the car breaks down)

Grandpa:Angie can you get a flashlight for me?

Angie: ok i'll be right there.

NC(mimicking little girl voice):It's not like i have any purpose for this film now anyways.

Supersamus (voiceover): So she goes out to help Grandpa as Tiny gets out. Why? Because Angie leaves the door open. Why doesn't she just close it?

NC: Because in animated films like these, little girls are bumbling idiots.

Supersamus: Great point, Nostalgia Critic! I have GOT to take note of that.

NC: Don't think I'm not mad at you, Liamm.

Supersamus: Ugh. (rolls eyes)

(cuts back to film)

Grandpa:Aw would you look at that Tiny is hiding from the storm.

Angie:Shh he's asleep

(cuts back to Tiny trying to climb up the hill)

Knotty (VO): Wow seriously (impersonates Grandpa) Oh Yes I can tell he's in there on and that barking outside must be the storm.

(The car drives off cuts to tiny climbing up noticed that they left them and starts to wimper)

(cuts back to Knotty Samus and NC)

Knotty (sniffles gets something out of eye)

NC:Knotty are you crying?

Knotty:No must be allergy season.

Supersamus: Really? This isn't THAT sad.

NC: That's because you have no feelings.

Supersamus: Well, the opening montage to Up didn't make me cry...

NC: And now you just gave us proof that you have no feelings!

Supersamus: Whatever.

(Cuts to close up to Tiny's eyes while he whimpers and tears falls)

(cuts back to NC Samus and NC but with Knotty fully teared up with his tears forming a massive waterfall)

Supersamus: Really, Knotty? Is it REALLY that sad? It's basically the same thing as the When She Loved Me scene from Toy Story 2!

NC: Yeah, Knotty. Do you really think this is sad? You're such a crybaby!

(cuts back to that clip)

Supersamus: It's just a close up of sad puppy eyes and whimpering. Haven't we already seen this before in The Fox & the Hound? Also, like I just said, this is a ripoff of the When She Loved Me scene from Toy Story 2!

(Cuts back to Knotty, Supersamus, and NC)

NC: Is Knotty, like, prone to emotion or something?

Supersamus: HOW ABOUT WE WATCH THE GODDAMN MOVIE?

NC: Yeah, fair point. Continue.