Hex's Encore/Transcript

Pre-Cooling
(One night, Daddy Dearest is holding an award show and has invited Keith over for some reason)

Cherry: Hey! Hurry up, Keith! I’ve been waiting for an hour now!

Keith: On my way, babe! Sorry for being so late. Traffic’s been a little crazy today.

Cherry: Why didn’t you ride on top of Mom’s limo with me?

Keith: The last time I did it, a bird flew into my mouth. It was painful.

Cherry: (chuckles) Well, at least you made it! Dad’s been hyping up The Funkin’ Awards all week!

Keith: Pretty bold of him to invite all his enemies and the people he screwed over…Then again, he promised money for the prizes so folks might turn a blind eye. I guess even I'D sing for Daddy Dearest if he was offering that big a cash prize to the best performance.

Cherry: Yeah, about that…

Keith: Aww, Cherry, you know I don’t need the money…

Cherry: Of course you don’t. But I know someone who does. I think you might have met him before. Earlier, he asked me if you could sing with him again for a performance he wants to hold at the show.

Keith: Huh? Who?

Cherry: Y’know, the tall robot guy that played sports. What was his name again? Gex…? Apex…?

Keith: Hex? Pretty sure you’re talking about Hex.

Cherry: Yeah! That guy!

Keith: Are you sure this whole contest isn’t some kind of trap?

Cherry: Who knows? Honestly, I’m up for you doing it. It will be your TV debut! The whole nation would see my boyfriend’s fresh skills!

Keith: The whole nation…? I dunno, I’ve already got millions of views online. My fans have seen the videos on my YouTube channel and listened to my songs on SoundCloud. Besides, are older folks who still watch cable television ready for my flow and stuff?

Cherry: You’re overthinking this, who cares if some boomers won’t like you?

Keith: Ehh…my style might be a lil’ bit too shocking for ‘em.

Cherry: Well, these people would be way more shocked by the living robot anyway.

Keith: Hmm, fair enough! I’m gonna show you and tons of people what I’m made of! So, where’d that bot head off to, anyway?

Cherry: Uhhh, he should probably be in his waiting room. I think it’s on the 16th floor. You go up and greet him and I’ll “convince” Dad to let you sing. It should go smoothly.

Keith: Can I “convince” you not to risk my soul this time?

Cherry: I'll try, don’t worry.

Keith: Okay, good. I’ll head out then. See ya later, babe!

Cherry: See ya!

(Keith goes to the 16th floor where Hex is waiting)

Hex: Hmm. Maybe I should harmonize at this part of the song with him…That is, if he agrees to perform with me.

(Just then, Keith opens the door and enters the room)

Keith: Hello? Oh! There you are, Hex! I’ve been looking for you!

Hex: (gasps) Keith! You’re here! So does that mean…you want to perform with me?

Keith: Yeah! Of course, buddy! Nothing wrong with helping a friend in need. Can’t wait, actually! Besides, you really saved my butt last time. I owe ya one!

Hex: Hooray! I will redeem the one owed!

Keith: I take it by your attire that you finally sold off all those extra Daddy Dearest shirts?

Hex: Why, yes! Four of ‘em, at least! Just enough to buy my old clothes back. I was hoping to re-acquire the rest of my fortune through this singing competition! Mr. Dearest made quite the generous offer should I prevail!

Keith: So you need my help to make sure you do, huh?

Hex: You know what they say: You always shine brighter when you’re performing with a star!

Keith: How were you invited to this big awards show anyway?

Hex: Well, it seems Mr. Dearest had somehow seen our last battle. He took notice of my music and he wanted for me to perform here!

Keith: Not surprised at all he knows everything involving me and Cherry. Kinda creepy, actually. But either way, it’s cool that you’re here now! So, what’s the song we’re gonna do?

Hex: Oh, right! Here’s the chord chart. We can edit it if there’s anything you don’t like, but let’s keep the lyrics spontaneous! It worked so well last time!

Keith: Hmm…Okay…Alright…They were mostly about basketball back then…You still playin’?

Hex: Yes, I am. My career isn't going anywhere. But while I hold basketball dearly to my processor, I don’t want to be stuck in one place forever. I want to try and experience new things while I still have the opportunity! That’s what my old friend said to me once…

Keith: (chuckles) You’re pretty human for a robot, you know…And a good person, too!

Hex: Glad you think so! That makes me a very happy bot.

(Just then, Cherry arrives to remind Keith and Hex of the performance)

Cherry: There you are, guys! You can catch up later. The show’s starting soon, so you better get ready.

Keith: …And your dad’s not gonna steal anything from me if I mess up?

Cherry: I talked him down to about 50% of your soul and your ability to date me!

Keith: Ugh…we better get going before I lose my better half…and my worse one, too. We’ll be right there. Thanks for the info, Cherry! Well, are you ready, Hex?

Hex: I’m always ready.

(And so, Keith, Hex, and Cherry arrive in time for the show to start. Keith and Hex get up on stage and begin to sing while Cherry gets up on her speakers to start the music)

Cooling
Hex: Hello, world! It’s me! Your best bot buddy! I hope you like my performance! Hey now, Keith, let’s start!

Keith: Hello, TV land! Gonna lend a hand! This robot’s skills are enormous! Let him into your hearts!

Hex: It’s been rather hard to gleam the confidence to be here! But the excitement buzzing in the airwaves sets me free here!

Keith: Just pick up a mic, and everybody wants to hear ya! Tell ‘em a bit more ‘bout yourself, I promise that they’ll cheer ya!

Hex: Some of you may have seen me already On last year’s big news story “Crazed Robot Punches Rock Star!”

Keith: He was hacked! His OS was unsteady! Hex wouldn’t hurt anyone So don’t focus on that part!

Hex: Bask and behold, the b-ball bot you called “berserk” can belt beats!

Keith: He’s got a heart of gold and tunes to rock you out of your seats!

Hex: My pal’s bars will sync with my timing!

Keith: I’ll complete your open-end rhyming!

Both: Pull out the stops, ‘till we reach the top!

Keith: Charts could use some climbin’!

Hex: Climbed a whole lot of places just to get here, trust me! Kind of gets hard to hold on when the way’s so slippery!

Keith: Bet it was super hard to make it here the long way But I’m sure that you’ll win with a nice tale to spin Tell ‘em about your day!

Hex: Thought it was over, my processors were freezing Then all of a sudden, a big Russian man helped me for some reason!

Keith: No doubt your kind deeds around the town inspired Everyone that saw them, to give kindness back, and to push you higher!

Hex: On my path, I passed by an old place And my RAM filled up with an old face…

Keith: That must be that old friend you brought up Did you stop in and get caught up?

Hex: I’d love to see his worn, withered smile But he’s been gone for a good, long while…

Keith: Don’t know the guy well, or where he hails from But he must be proud of how far you’ve come!

Hex: At long last, I’d finally made it!

Keith: Reached the theater, fame awaited!

Hex: Took my first steps inside!

Keith: Circuits filled up with pride!

Hex: All of a sudden, terror struck me…

Keith: Wait, were you nervous you’d be sucky?

Hex: I went to the wrong place!

Keith: Oh no! How’d you save face?

Hex: Found a friend in the end, asked her for a lift!

Keith: Lucky you! Seems your crew really is a gift!

Hex: Gave me a lift, all right, just not how I expected!

Keith: Just proves when things get tight, it helps to be connected!

Hex: That’s how the helpful, humble Hex was heaved right here before you!

Keith: Man, with a tale like that, I bet that no one could ignore you!

Hex: Bring it home with one final chorus!

Keith: Time to make the masses adore us!

Both: One final go to let the world know

Keith: Hex will never bore us!

Hex: Looking into the audience, I can’t help but see Everyone who lent me a hand across my journey!

Keith: Buddy, we got your back, we know you wanted in this! C’mon, Hex, bring it home Show ‘em that TV dome has the drive to win this!

Hex: To all my friends out there, and to those who I’ve not met If you all let me share my gift with the world, You ain’t seen nothing yet!

Keith: Filled with surprises, there’s no one who thinks quicker! You know who your guy is, so make the right choice and select your victor!

Hex: Well, folks, that’s my song! My fate lies with you! I’d like to thank my good friend, Keith Give him applause, too!

Keith: No prob, glad to sing! And hey, just to wrap If you guys want to help Hex out Buy his old DD crap!

(The song finishes and the crowd lines up to buy some of Daddy Dearest merchandise. When Daddy Dearest himself sees that people are buying his merch, he is overcome with joy)

Dad: I can’t believe it…People are buying my merch. That was the best Daddy Dearest tribute song ever!!! Hex wins! Hex WINS!!!

Hex: Yay! We won, Keith!

Keith: Hahaha, yeah! Great work, Hex!

Hex: I could not have done it without you! I am truly…

(Suddenly, Hex starts to glitch out, just like he did last time)

Hex: GgGgGgGgHhHhHhHh…

(Hex drops to his mechanical knees and falls to the floor)

Keith: (gasps) H…Hex? Are you okay?

(Hex slowly rises, revealing that the virus that hacked him before is taking over again)

Keith: Oh no…Not again.

(The virus targets Cherry and causes Hex to charge at her. Keith gasps because Hex is trying to hurt his girlfriend. But just as Hex is about to grab Cherry, he gets punched by Daddy Dearest, sending him flying and crashing through the wall.)

Dad: Grrrr…You better keep your hands off my daughter!

(Suddenly, Hex reemerges from the wall, being controlled by the virus)

IRIS: Hello again…foolish counterhackers.

Dad: Hey! You better tell me what you’re here for before I beat you outta that bot myself!

IRIS: You know what we want.

Keith (shocked): Wait, you know the hacker?!

Dad: Of course I do. It’s those insects from IRIS trying to mess with me, my family, and my business!

Keith: Hold up…What’s IRIS?

Dad: They’re a media conglomerate straight from the depths of the Underworld. I was in a partnership with them once, but I had to leave because they turned out wack. Now they’re bitter and want me down, but this ain’t happening!

Keith: But…why are they using Hex to do this crap?

Dad: Seems like they were trying to spy on my daughter while you were in the park a few months ago. People from some parts of hell can’t enter this world, but they can contract people from here. They probably hired a hacker and tried using the closest machine near Cherry at the time. So they used the robot here. Last time he fought them off nicely, but this time, he’s shut down completely!

IRIS: Are we done with this boring exposition? We’re running out of airtime, Dearest.

Dad: What the hell do you want?

IRIS: You were a fool for leaving and a traitor for undercutting us with your own label. And now, with this robot…We can stream a rap battle to everyone in hell to demonstrate how pathetic you really are!

Dad: Hmm…Nah.

IRIS: Huh?

Dad: I'll actually put my trust in this mortal pipsqueak over here to take you down.

Keith: Wait, WHAT?!

IRIS: You want to…use a mortal human to represent you? You’ve really gone downhill.

Dad: Nah, I just think the thought of a mortal winning the battle would destroy your rep. You would never recover from that, and that’s fine by me.

IRIS: …Fine. If you want to play these games, go ahead. We’re not lowering the difficulty, though. Is that clear?

Keith: What happens if I lose?

IRIS: Well…we WANTED to use this robot to get more info on the Dearests and send a nice big bomb to their doorstep. In the end, we couldn’t track down the bomb, but, as it turns out, we’ve had a perfectly good one right here the whole time.

Keith (angry): Don’t you dare blow up my friend!

IRIS: If you’re talking about destroying image, then we gotta answer with the same. The Underworld is all about prestige, and we’re not going to lose to an amateur mortal. You want to make us look bad? We’ll make you look DEAD.

Keith: …Me? An amateur? Pff, you empty suits ain’t seen nothing. You’re going down! Plus, if I win, you’re gonna stop bothering Cherry and Hex! Got it?

IRIS: Sure, the cover’s been blown, anyway. We’ve already collected enough data, this is just a cherry on the top. Well? Are you ready for the fight of your life, mortal?

Keith: …I’m always ready.

(And so, the next song begins as Keith fights IRIS to save Hex)

Detected
IRIS: Heed my warning, child I’m not holding back here You might have some style But I’ve done this for years!

Keith: Gettin’ pretty cocky For a faceless corpo! Need a keyboard jockey Just try to stop our big show!

IRIS: We’ve hacked into everything So try and fail to fight back When they very words you sing Get turned and twisted ‘til you’re off track!

Keith: What the funk? You guys are cheatin’! Singing stuff feels wonky! Gotta focus on the beat or I won’t even keep it on key!

IRIS: Should’ve read our fight terms first, kid! Made the deal, we’ll do our worst, kid!

Keith: Bring it, cowards! Caught me off-guard But I’ll play your game and rock hard!

IRIS: That was nothing!

Keith: Keep on bluffing!

IRIS: Crank it higher!

Keith: You’re all liars!

Both: You can’t top my verbal fire!

IRIS: You’ve poked a mighty bull Trample you as we pull Every trick that we’ve got Brought a bag full!

Keith: Outwit each tough pitfall With vocals that enthrall Trample your evil plot Eat that, eyeball!

IRIS: Look in our blood-red eye You’ll be blindsided by What we’ve got planned for you Say your final goodbyes!

Keith: Keep tootin’ your own horn Your rhymes are old and worn Haven’t done nothing new Since the day I was born!

IRIS: Raised in the pits of hell to rule all we see!

Keith: Man, I can really tell you’ve gotten rusty!

IRIS: This has been merely a warm-up! We’re on fire!

Keith: Looking at how you perform, it don’t inspire!

IRIS: Might get kind of gruesome, but that’s business!

Keith: Bet you never knew I could spit like this!

Both: Perfectly matched Not a flaw, not a scratch

IRIS: Every contract has its catch! Copied your info! All your search history! Us demon firms know how to fight real dirty!

Keith: Just don’t forget to sing! You’ve got your hands full! Haven’t done anything to get me canceled!

IRIS: We have detected You’ve searched for a label So we have projected A deal on the table!

Keith: What, wanna sign me? Afraid that I’m taken! Got Dearests behind me Your hopes are mistaken!

IRIS: If you throw this, once you’re done Your songs will be in better hands, son!

Keith: Frankly feelin’ zero trust For evil suits that steal my friend’s husk!

IRIS: Don’t be foolish!

Keith: Y’all are ghoulish!

IRIS: Make the switch now!

Keith: No way, no how!

Both: Time to end this, take your last bow!

IRIS: Should have just played along But you were too headstrong Did you think our plans end With just one song?

Keith: Don’t care about your schemes Ain’t battin’ for your team! Everyone’s fate depends On this livestream!

IRIS: We only live to acquire Sending our sales numbers higher Torch the careers of defiers You’ll be caught in the crossfire!

Keith: Not a big fan of her dad But he ain’t nowhere as bad As you and all your comrades You can’t manage me, bro, you mad?

IRIS: Fine, we’ll just have to crush you!

Keith: You’re finished, man, the song’s through!

IRIS: We’ve got contacts!

Keith: I’ve got fresh raps!

IRIS: Everybody has their price, twerp!

Keith: You’ll all be struggling to find work!

IRIS: You’ll lose it all!

Keith: You’ll lose this brawl!

IRIS: No one left you can trust!

Keith: Make your business go bust!

IRIS: All over town!

Keith: Watch you close down!

Both: Bend ‘til you break Made a fatal mistake Threw your life away for DD’s sake

IRIS: Got assassins art the ready

Keith: Keep my rappin’ flow real steady!

IRIS: Win or lose, your life is ending!

Keith: You can’t do that, stop pretending!

IRIS: We can’t fail now!

Keith: Better bail now!

IRIS: Mind is blankin’!

Keith: Lost your rankin’!

Both: IRIS’ value started tankin’!

IRIS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(As the song ends, IRIS starts to admit defeat)

IRIS: No…It can’t be…Our reputation…I can FEEL our grasp on the Underworld loosening! All because we lost to that blue-haired thing!

Keith: Told ya. Maybe you’re the one who’s gone downhill.

Cherry: Huh, well that’s brutal. Looks like you can see it, too. Your stock value just dropped to almost nothing, and the Underworld’s social media wants you gone.

Dad: Ah, yes, music to my ears, honestly. How does it feel to be rejected by hell itself?

IRIS: Are we…gonna…GO UNDER?!

Dad: Don’t worry. Your stocks are so cheap right now I could buy a controlling share and save you.

IRIS: Don’t you dare! At this point, we don’t even care anymore! We’re gonna explode that robot just to spite you!

Dad: Oh, I don’t think you have enough time to do that.

IRIS: What…?!

Dad: You said the Underworld is all about prestige and image, right? Well, after this bungle, no one in hell will want to work with you. Sponsors, brands…even power stations! What I’m saying is you don’t have enough time to destroy Hex before electricity in your building will go down and you’ll lose connection to the bot. You’ve got about twenty seconds before you’re stuck in the dark.

IRIS: Tch…You may have stopped us now, but this is only just one of our divisions. No way in hell we’re losing our media empire to some washed-up rockstar!

Dad: Sure you will! Just give it some time.

IRIS: Maybe not today, but this isn’t the last time you and your people will see IRIS involved. YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF US, YOU TWO-FACED, BACKSTABBING, LYING LITTLE-

(Suddenly, like Dad said, the electricity in IRIS' building goes down, causing them to lose connection to Hex. With no one hacking into his system anymore, Hex returns to normal)

Hex: …Ow. Mr. Dearest, that punch hurt, you know?

Dad: Hahah! Now you know how I felt when you punched me.

Keith: HEX! You’re back! Good to see you again, buddy!

Hex: Yeah, it’s good to be back! Sorry I ruined it all again. I really need a stronger antivirus for this kind of stuff. Edgarware just doesn’t cut it anymore.

Keith: Pshh, you’re fine, dude. That’s all that matters now!

Dad: I’ll have my wife’s IT department set you up with something better. Just sign this contract.

Hex: Does that mean…My performing career is still on?!

Dad: You moved Daddy Dearest merch to multiple people in one day! Anyone who can do that has a spot on my team.

Hex: Why, I’d be honored! Y’know, Keith, you were pretty cool there. Maybe I wasn’t there physically, but I’ve heard it all. I’m glad I have a friend who is willing to save my life twice now! But, I guess my poor security measures ruined the show, huh…

Cherry: Hmm, I wouldn’t say that. Seems like the audience felt something during that little fight. And look! Hashtags like #SaveHex and #IRISIsOverParty are trending on Hell Twitter! Which is also just regular Twitter, actually.

Hex: Wow…people…cared for me? They say robots can’t cry, but right now I’m so happy that I kind of want to.

Dad: Here, you can cry into these Daddy Dearest towels! Only 99 cents!

(Hex angrily rejects the offer and grabs Dad by the throat)

Hex: No thanks. I am never buying anything from you again.

Keith: Maybe we should get you off the stage now, Hex. It’s been a long day.

Hex: (lets go of Dad’s throat) Yeah…Thank you.

(Meanwhile, at the IRIS headquarters…)

Ciliar: Sir, I have the results. This month had been a significant drop in revenue. I presume it’s due to the situation involving Luis Dearest and his people. Our profits are down as expected…we’re doing all we can to recover…

Infernus: Grr…that Dearest…he’ll pay for what he has done…

Ciliar: Currently, we’re working on bribing people of influence to reduce decay of our image. We’ve also contacted several people who could carry out your goal in the other world.

Infernus: Skip the financial part and tell me how our project is going.

Ciliar: We’re in the final stages of preparation…

Infernus: Ah, finally! Some good news. All these years of development…are SURE to knock Dearest down a peg or twenty! But for now we’ll switch focus onto that blue-haired mortal. I’ve never been so humiliated in my career, and it’s all Dearest’s fault! Then again, he won’t be so happy when he’s the one on the losing side.

Ciliar: Or we could just leave that geezer alone and focus on the actual company.

Infernus: Who cares, Ciliar?! Crushing Dearest helps the company!

Ciliar: Ah, sir. One more thing. Do you have further plans for that robot? Are we still going to take advantage of him?

Infernus: Hmm…He can still be useful. Besides, I think Project: SLASHER will take a liking to him.

(What do IRIS have in store for Hex? Only time will tell…)