Deadpool Talks About Idea Wiki

NOTE: This idea is made just for fun.

Deadpool Talks About Idea Wiki is a web series made by Deadpool about the Idea Wiki ideas. Other people at times guest stars.

Deadpool Tells About Collin the Speedy Boy
(shows Deadpool sitting by a fire)

Deadpool: Oh Hi hoes. Today I am supposed to tell you about a guy called Collin the Speedy Boy. He is a rather cool speedy hero (goes to Flash) Not that or. But, (shows to Collin) this guy. Now, he is owned by You know, those assholes who owned  and. Now, this beloved franchise started in 1993 as a pretty fun Sonic-esque game. I think I have that game on my SNES, but don't fucking know. What else came out in 1993?

Deadpool: For years, the franchise has become popular and most beloved. Ok, history later and my opinion now. I think this franchise is pretty good to be honest. First let's start out with someone I like. A fucking idiotic bird. It's name is Eli- wait... He's not the main antagonist? Oh, that's right... It's Bryte, a smart bird who fails to get Collin! I don't know why they're called the "Teary Eyeds". Shouldn't they be called the "Three Eyeds". The only good thing about them is the voice acting.

Deadpool: Shall we talk about his friends? First off there are fingers, the knife game anyone? Anyhoo, there was this Jasmyne Nacole hoe that was Collin's girlfriend til she got removed in 2014. However, the creators didn't confirm if she was killed off or not. She could be alive as this new poster involving some team called The Synergy Rangers that has a look a like resembling her on it. Could it be Jasmine herself?

Deadpool: Anyhoo... teammates? We have a dragon bastard. No, not this.

Deadpool Tells About Velocity: The Dark Human Slayer
(Shows Deadpool sitting by a fire)

Deadpool: Heyo, bitches! Today, I decided to talk about one of the most beloved Nicktoons ever existed. And it stars the actor of the villain of ... and Knuckles. His name is Velocity. Makes sense, since Velociraptors are fast and he is named after speed. Most of the names make sense except for the Dark Humans. They are beings of darkness and they have human like names, named after rocks and technological stuff.

Deadpool: Now, this beloved cartoon premiered way back in 1999! Let's see what else premiered back then. This shit was cancelled in 2003 for a unknown reason. Pretty damned weird, right? What else premiered in 2003? .

Deadpool: This show is about a Velociraptor who is chosen to save the world from a Aku-lookin' guy named Brimstone. Wonder if Aku and Brimstone are siblings?

Deadpool Tells About The Story of The Face Paint
(Shows Deadpool sitting by a fire)

Deadpool: S'up Assholes? I’m gonna tell you about a movie that’s a story... well, not techinically a story, but a film that has "story" on the title.

Deadpool Tells About The Loud House Movie
(shows Deadpool sitting by a fire)

Deadpool: Hi, bitches! It's me Deadpool! Today i'm gonna tell you about a worthless piece of shit called The Loud House Movie. You all know the original series is good but once Chris Savino got fired things went downhill way fast. First off they have be the cold and evil villain. Irony, right?

Deadpool Tells About the Face Paint
(Shows Deadpool sitting by a fire)

Deadpool: S'up, losers? This episode? This episode is going to be about some mythical creatures that a person made up called the Face Paints. What's the Face Paints? (reserved for Coolot)

Deadpool Tells About The Tales of The Paintders
(Shows Deadpool sitting at a dining table)

Deadpool: S'up, fuckers? Yeah, I know that I am supposed to be sitting at my fireplace, but since we ran out of fire gasoline and it is raining, I decided to do this episode here. Thank you, and anyways... My name is Deadpool and this episode, we are talking about a series based off SpyroandLPSfan's Face Paint mascot, Ashton Paintders! The title is called The Tales of The Paintders and it just came out on May of 2018... you want to know what else came out in may 2018? .

Deadpool: What is The Tales of The Paintders you may ask? Well, it is this Netflix series about a young Face Paint bitch named Ashton Paintders who lives with her oldest sister Hannah Paintders and her youngest sister Lagan Painters plus her pet, but also their family pet Axolotl named Shoney Paintders. What’s an Axolotl, you may ask? It is this ugly as fuck fish with legs.

Deadpool: For the villain... they choose a hooded villain, no not that ... It's Tyler Paintders, a.k.a The Bad Face Paint or I like to call him The Grim of The Tales of The Paintders. Seriously, his black robe remind me of Grim's from that. Also there’s a villain voiced by. Also, we have this Ernesto de la Cruz-based villain.

Deadpool Tells About The Cryptids
(Shows Deadpool sitting by a fire)

Deadpool: Finally, some more gasoline. Oh, what's up, motherfuckers? Deadpool's back again with another show to talk about. It's a show about 5 strange creatures who had struggles with situations and have to escape a scientist and his pet eagle, and it premiered on Cartoon Network in 2013. Do you know what else premiered in 2013?

Deadpool: So, let's talk about the 5 main characters. So, we got our leader, Bigfoot, here. Everyone knows and loves Bigfoot, right? Okay, maybe no one loves Bigfoot, but we all know him. Next, here's The Cryptids fans' favorite character, Alien. As you saw in all of those episodes, he's pretty much a retarded alien whose species is named after some retarded element. What was it again? Sperm? Whatever! Then, we got this sexy-ass ghetto named Nessie the Loch Ness Monster. And yet, she is in a relationship with Bigfoot. And let me tell you something! You know all of those black girls you see in comedy movies? She reminds me of them. Now, we got the smartest of the main cast: Mothman! To be honest, out of the main characters, he's my favorite. He's voiced by this, right? You know who else is voiced by him? , and what do me and him have in common? Well, we're owned by this. Alright, last but not least, we got this dog-like creature named Chupacabra. Now this guy is a blood lover, 'cause his name means "goat sucker" in Spanish. He's like the vampire of canines, and let me tell you something. If Count Dracula came to look for a pet one day, (shows a picture of Chupacabra and points to it) This guy would be perfect for him.

Deadpool Tells About Eric and Claire
(Shows Deadpool sitting by a fire)

Deadpool: Oh! Hello, whores! Deadpool here again, and today, we're gonna talk about this show on Cartoon Network. What is it you may ask? I'll give you a hint: It’s not or, but it does contain supernatural themes. Do you give up?

Cable: Aw, for fuck's sake! It’s E-

Deadpool: Hey! This ain't your show! So, get your ass out of here!

Cable: Fine... (Leaves)

Deadpool: Anyways, the answer is Eric and Claire. What the hell is Eric and Claire you may ask? It's some cartoon about a boy named Eric befriending a ghost girl named Claire, and the show premiered in 2016. Do you wanna know what else premiered in 2016? .

Deadpool: Okay, let's dig deeper into this cartoon! So, basically, it all started when Eric gave his money to his little sister for a Dora-like show instead of some gang, and because of that, they started chasing him through the sidewalk to beat the living shit out of him for that. Then, Eric found some old-ass house and hid in it, only for the bullies to be able to take his ass down. Then all the sudden, the fandom's favorite character, (shows a Claire the Ghost plush) which is this little hoe here, notices what's happening and decides to throw the bullies out. When Eric first saw her, he was like, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!? GET AWAY! IT'S GONNA KILL ME! AAH!" But nope, turns out Claire is a sweet-ass cutie pie.

Deadpool: Then, we get to meet all of these other characters. (Under construction)

Deadpool Tells About Gatopardos the Cheetah
(Shows Deadpool sitting in a car with Weasel driving)

Deadpool Tells About Marvel NEW
(Deadpool is being recorded by an old camera. He is kneeling shirtless on the floor, scooping up melted cheese off the floor and shoving it into his mouth. The woman record's voice is heard)

Mistress Death: Tell them what you did.

Deadpool: I didn't do anything.

Mistress Death: Tell them what you promised me.

Deadpool: I didn't do anything.

Mistress Death: Multiple times you've promised me the last episode would be the final one and multiple times you've gone back on your word.

Deadpool: I didn't do anything.

Mistress Death: You said you'd spend time with me. Now look at you, you've changed so much I don't even want to spend time with you anymore! and I'm sick of letting you get away with it.

Deadpool: Death, for the longest time I've been the most obscure hero ever created, and now that I'm famous I want to cherish it, okay!? now shut your fucking mouth!

(It suddenly cuts to Deadpool sitting by a fireplace, completely dressed and in better condition)

Deadpool: ...Why the hell did that play? I'm not even sure if that was relevant or not... okay, well, uh... tone set I guess? well, uh... quickly moving forward, hello you... butt... muffins... I ran out of insults, okay? today we'll be talking about this thing called... no, I can't get over that, what in the seven layers of hell made you think that was good to play!?

(a muffled voice is heard off-screen)

Deadpool: Okay... uh-hu... I see... well that's perfectly reasonable but someone needs to get fired for this. The guy who changes the water doesn't matter too much, get rid of him. Back on track, the topic is Marvel new. Oh, I'm sorry, Marvel NEW!!! yeah, in all caps. Cause... lower case letters don't exist I guess?

(a muffled voice is heard off-screen)

Deadpool: Okay... uh-hu... I see... well that's perfectly reasonable but someone needs to get fired for this. The guy who changes the water doesn't matter too much, get rid of him. Back on track, the topic is Marvel new. Oh, I'm sorry, Marvel NEW!!! yeah, in all caps. Cause... lower case letters don't exist I guess?

(he reaches off-screen and pulls out a comic named Deadpool: Babes and Guns)

Deadpool: Now this publication does have a comic of me and- what? ...this isn't the comic of me? then what is it? ...what? reboot? it's already a reboot, so they're... rebooting the reboot? okay, clearly I don't know much about this so... give me a minute.

(the screen cuts to a black screen with white text that reads "we'll be right back". After a few seconds it cuts back to Deadpool)

Deadpool: Okay, so I know a bit more about this... thing now, so let's do it.

(he pulls up another comic)

Deadpool: This is the comic about me. In it I find out I have a daughter and... wait, my daughter isn't Ellie? what the hell!? that's my baby girl!

(the screen cuts once again to the same picture before cutting back)

Deadpool: Okay, it's only been a few seconds for you but it's been days for me. Just days of non-stop research for this stupid as hell show I'm making. Well, anyway, the publication currently only has three comics which are canon. A comic about Spider-Man, a comic about Exiles, and a comic about yours truly. There are quite a few other comics but because of the reboot, I'm not sure if they're canon or not. Because as we all know, not knowing what is and isn't canon is great for comics...

(he pulls up his own comic once again)

Deadpool: Let's start off with this one since it's... you know... relevant. There isn't much going on in this comic yet, but there's some upcoming shit, like Purple Man controlling Jessica Jones... again. Me fighting Typhoid Mary... again. And the introduction of a Batman parody... again... I'm starting to notice a pattern here... the creator of this comic is apparently a big fan of me but he... she... it made my daughter more powerful than me. Because as we all know, more powerful always equals better written. So far there's only one issue and in it, I fight someone so obscure only massive fans or creepy internet stalkers would know about him.

(he places the comic beside him and reaches for another one, pulling out Exiles)

Deadpool: This is Exiles. You ever seen the show Sliders? basically Sliders. It's about alternate reality versions of different characters who come together to beat up dudes. It's probably the best out of the three series, but there's a lot of melodrama.

(the screen flashes the definition of Melodrama for a few seconds)

Deadpool: And it doesn't contain me so it's instantly less good. The current story has Hulks... a lot of Hulks... like, wow, why are there so many Hulks? it's interesting to see a story where dying actually means something. I mean, the amount of funerals I've had to go to for heroes is getting out of control, and what's even the point when you know just a month later they'll be back in action?

(he once again places it down and reaches beside him, pulling out Spider-Man)

Deadpool: This is Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends, which only contains one of the Amazing Friends, Spider-Man himself. There's not much of the book so far but what's there isn't very well paced and has characters so flat the Flat Earth Society is complaining about it... the current story is the comic's first and... it's okay... I guess... I mean, there're good moments but... yeah...

(he throws the comic behind him)

Deadpool: Well, that's all I've got for this time, tune in tomorrow when I-

(the door bursts down)

Mistress Death: Goddamn it, Wade!

Deadpool: What the hell are you doing here!?

Mistress Death: Are you just doing this to avoid me!? is that what you're doing!? what is this show to you? why do you keep doing it?

Deadpool: This show is mine! okay? you don't get a say when it comes to it!

Mistress Death: I don't want a saw, I wanna know why the hell you keep doing it. You've done it non-stop for weeks and in that entire time, I've only seen you three times!

Deadpool: And the third time you recorded my lowest moment. You recorded me drunk off my ass eating fucking cheese off the fucking floor! after that I thought you would've gotten a clue why we never do stuff together, you crazy, heartless bitch!

Mistress Death: Don't you even-

(Deadpool slumps over in his chair)

Deadpool: ...What the hell am I doing?

Mistress Death: Huh?

Deadpool: I'm sitting here arguing with someone who I tried to kill myself just to be with... I'm pathetic.

Mistress Death: Wade, don't-

Deadpool: I act all happy and cheerful on this show and it's all just that... an act... whenever I meet a fan I try to act all giddy and... well... I try to act like I do on the show, but I think they all know deep down I'm sad...

Mistress Death: ...You've never spoken like that before.

Deadpool: Well that clip at the beginning and now this? it's too much... life man... it's long and it's hard...

Mistress Death: Wade?

(Deadpool looks up at her)

Mistress Death: That's what she said.

Deadpool: (chuckles) ...You know what? maybe I have been putting this show before you... and maybe it's time to stop that...

(Deadpool gets up out of his seat)

Deadpool: Everyone, pass the word, the show's over right now. I'll be back in... I don't know, sometime later? Right now I need to take care of something that I've been ignoring for far too long.

Man (off-screen): Wait, is this the season finale?

Deadpool: No, I'm just leaving for a bit. Hiatus or whatever.

(Deadpool puts on a coat and walks off with Mistress Death)

Deadpool: So, where do you wanna go?

Mistress Death: Well, there's this new sushi place down town.

Deadpool: Oh, I don't really like sushi... but you know what? anything for you...