Fanmade DHMIS Opening Gags

Hair

 * Red Guy: And I just have way too much hair.
 * Duck: And I am too much green!
 * Yellow Guy: And I'm bald if you look closely...

Helping

 * Red Guy: And I'm a guy that is red!
 * Yellow Guy: And I'm the guy who is not red!
 * Duck: And I want to be dea-(gets killed before he can finish his line)
 * Red Guy: That makes only 2 of us.

Christmas

 * Red Guy: I'm the one who's not Santa!
 * Duck: And I have my Christmas tree!
 * Yellow Guy: And I brought some gifts!

Glasses

 * Duck: And I'm the one who just can't see!
 * Red Guy: And I'm the one who's still alive!
 * Yellow Guy: Wait, why is Duck alive?

Colors

 * Red Guy: And I'm the one whose color is red!
 * Yellow Guy: And I'm the one whose color is yellow!
 * Duck: And I'm green, and I live in a nightMAARE!

Breakfast

 * Red Guy: And I am having my breakfast!
 * Yellow Guy: And I'm having breakfast too!
 * Duck: And I just had breakfast!

Alphabet

 * Red Guy: (stays silent)
 * Yellow Guy: (stays silent)
 * Duck: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Birthday

 * Duck: It is my 34th birthday!
 * Red Guy: Let's all celebrate!
 * Yellow Guy: Happy birthday, Duck!

Numbers

 * Red Guy: I just live in a simple nightmare, nothing to be scared about. OK, maybe I get scared, even when I'm near an evil girl scout, but that's what it's all about...
 * Duck: Uhhh...
 * Yellow Guy: What just happened?

Ducks

 * Red Guy: Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo.
 * Yellow Guy: Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet!
 * Duck: QUACK!

Animals

 * Red Guy: I'm the one with strange features!
 * Yellow Guy: I'm dancing right now!
 * Duck: And I am over here!
 * Red Guy: Duck, you used that line in episode 1.
 * Duck: I don't care!

Superheroes

 * Red Guy: My name would be Super Red!
 * Yellow Guy: Mine is Super Yellow!
 * Duck: Mine is Super Duck!

Mail

 * Yellow Guy: I just ordered a new hat!
 * Duck: I just seen a cat!
 * Red Guy: I don't have any pets...

Rhymes

 * Duck: Are we able to sit on a table?
 * Yellow Guy: I don't know, but I think "no".
 * Red Guy: We're rhyming with perfect timing!

Technology

 * Red Guy: And I have a job at the pizza place!
 * Duck: And I have a job as a chef!
 * Yellow Guy: I don't have a job...