Adventure Time and the Angry Video Game Nerd/Transcript

(Warner Bros. Pictures, Universal Pictures, Cartoon Network Studios, Frederator Studios, Bron Studios, and Film 44 logos start. The scene cuts to the Nerd in his room.)

The Nerd: (to the audience) What you're about to see is another Nerd movie from July 2014. Now after I reviewed ET for the Atari 2600, I thought it might be funny to do one on ''Adventure Time. Now, um, Adventure Time ''ended on September 3rd 2018 as a special episode for Labor Day and Cinemassacre will be able to have an Adventure Time movie to be rated R as it marks the first R-rated animated film by Warner Bros. Animation. After Frost and Fire, fans have been asking Cartoon Network to get Finn and Flame Princess back. You know without really forcing it, so I held off on releasing it for a while, and some new images were added in later, but now I think that the fans should see it. You want to see it, right? Yeah? So, just keep in mind, I'll review Pirates of the Enchiridion on the Nintendo Switch and I'll make sure it has to be good. And most important, just don't take it too seriously. Enjoy the movie.

(The scene cuts to black and fades to the Fire Kingdom as the credits read "Warner Bros. Pictures and Universal Pictures present", "in association with Cartoon Network Studios and Frederator Studios and Bron Creative", "a Cinemassacre/Rideback/Vertigo Entertainment/Film 44 production" and "a Peter Berg film". The text reads "Fire Kingdom, Land of Ooo, four years after the Gum War." and fades. Cinnamon Bun gives Flame Princess a mug of frosting on their wedding day.)

Cinnamon Bun: Drink, Flame Princess. Then you'll marry me. You'll be the queen of the Fire Kingdom.

Flame Princess: (beat) And what, Cinnamon Bun, if the Legion returns?

Cinnamon Bun: We attack.

(Flame Princess thinks for four seconds then she pours a whole mug of frosting into the barrel and Cinnamon Bun gasps.)

Cinnamon Bun: You would reject this gift?

Finn: No, I'd rather choose Finn.

Cinnamon Bun: Hmm. And did you know you could marry Finn Mertens instead of me?

(The ground rumbles as Bandit Princess breaks down the door then her servants attack the wedding while people scream.)

Bandit Princess: Now!

(Sir Slicer sets Flame Lord free from the lantern. Peace Master destroys a barrel filled with frosting. Flame Princess escapes to Finn. Ash beats up Cinnamon Bun to the floor. After the massacre, Ash grabs Cinnamon Bun who groans.)

Cinnamon Bun: This was meant to be our wedding.

Ash: Times change.

(Ash throws Cinnamon Bun and takes the jewel from him then throws it to Bandit Princess.)

Bandit Princess: The Fire Kingdom is mine! (Her servants shout) And the Legion has returned.

(The scene cuts to black and shows montage of episodes of Angry Video Game Nerd and Adventure Time while the song plays "The Angry Video Game Nerd Theme" by Metallica during the opening credits then the title appears and says "Adventure Time and the Angry Video Game Nerd." The song ends and the scene fades to black then fades up to the Nerd who looks at "Adventure Time: The Complete Collection" on DVD.)

The Nerd: I have a confession: I totally missed out on the Cartoon Network craze. First, a little background, I already talked about the cover of Super Duper Sumos on Game Boy Advance. But I didn't know at the time, this was based on the Super Duper Sumos show, now I missed out on all the other Cartoon Network shows that everybody talks about like Regular Show, Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, The Amazing World of Gumball, and, yes, Adventure Time. In 2010, Adventure Time was one of the greatest television shows of all time. Every Monday, we got a new Adventure Time episode. I can see why everybody liked it. It revolutionized 2-D animated show, the same way Dexter's Laboratory did. The characters were good, the music was kick-ass, the setting was cool, and the voice-acting was awesome. Seemed liked the only thing bigger than the show, was its stars, Finn and Jake. Finn and Jake were basically reminders of Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca. You thought Luke had a Wookie? Finn and Jake go on cool quests and meet new friends like Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, eventually, the Ice King and even Flame Princess. Oh, and villains. They also fight villains. Can't forget those. Adventure Time's popularity took the world by storm. It became the cultural phenomenon that ran through ten seasons. Its fame transcended the show and it ended up being on the cover of magazines. I'm not kidding. It also had toys at McDonald's, commercials on Cartoon Network, and even a Minecraft episode! Seems like the world was obsessed with Adventure Time! All these years while I've been busy playing shitty games, people have been making episodes through 2018. I'm not sure why I missed all the Adventure Time episodes. So what do you do with the show like that? Well, turn into comic books, of course! Adventure Time. Today, there were actual toys, clothing, and even a Monopoly game. So, of course, there had to be video games on Xbox, PlayStation, and even Nintendo. That's right, they also made video games based on the show by its creator, Pendleton Ward. So, how did one of the best shows of all time get made into video games? Come to think of it, it's amazing that the Cartoon Network shows got turned into video games. Ed Edd n' Eddy: The Mis-Edventures, Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion, Cartoon Network Battle Crashers, and FusionFall. I'm gonna focus on Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion for the Nintendo Switch. (Doorbell rings) Who could that be?

(The Nerd walks to the door, opens it, and sees his longtime friends Bootsy Spankins, P.I., Cooper, Mandi, and Kevin Finn. The Nerd screams joyfully along with Bootsy, Kevin, Mandi, and Cooper. Mike, April, Gina, Kyle Justin and Keith Apicary see The Nerd, Bootsy, Cooper, Mandi and Kevin who scream with delight then they scream.)

The Nerd: Everyone, this is Bootsy, Kevin, Cooper, and Mandi! They used to work with us!

Bootsy: Hey, Mike. It's been a very long time. (Chuckles)

Mike: Yes, Bootsy. It's very good to have you back.

Cooper: Anyway, let's just say we're having a reunion party.

The Nerd: Yes, Cooper. We're having a reunion party. I brought my estate agent and my lawyer.

Mike: Wait, you have an estate agent and a lawyer?

The Nerd: Yes. This is Archibald Carter and Stephen Simmons.

Mr. Carter: Mr. Rolfe, it's great of you to have me and Mr. Simmons invinted.

Bootsy: Good day, Mr. Carter and Mr. Simmons.

Mr. Simmons: Oh. This is Bootsy?

The Nerd: Yes, he used to work with us.

Mr. Carter: Hmm. Very interesting. All right, Mr. Spankins. (Gives Bootsy one bottle of 7 Up) Time to chug 7 Up down, and be the winner.

Kyle Justin: Hey, did you just quote the first Transformers movie?

Mr. Carter: Hmm, maybe.

Kyle Justin: (Chuckles) Good one, Carter.

(The Nerd's cell phone rings and the Nerd answers it as he turns on the video call.)

The Nerd: Hello?

Finn: Hey, Nerd. This is Finn Mertens, the human who got shown up by Cinnamon Bun many years ago. Pleasure to meet you by the way.

The Nerd: Oh. Hey, Finn. It's really good to meet you for the first time. Come on, Finn, you gotta get over her. Flame Princess is just a queen. Besides, she's in love with Cinnamon Bun. And even if it had worked out, would you really want fire babies? Ugh. Gross. I mean, wait a second! Are you telling me that you're in love with Huntress Wizard?

Finn: Uh-huh.

The Nerd: So you mean that you just wasted the best years of your life?

Finn: Absolutely, but I'm afraid I have some really terrible news.

The Nerd: Really? What's the terrible news?

Finn: The humans luckily arrived to Ooo from Founders Island after I turned the Guardian off. This is the photograph where we have a photo group with Jake, my mom and humans. (Shows the photograph of the humans with Finn, Jake and Minerva) And this was four years ago. (Shows another photograph of the humans being attacked by Bandit Princess as the Nerd gasps in horror) It gets worse, Nerd.

(A video plays where a man calls for help while a woman runs around)

Man: There's only two of us left! We need help!

(A woman shrieks and gets pulled away by a rope then Bandit Princess laughs evilly then attacks a man and a video freezes.)

The Nerd: Who the fuck is that?

Mike: Holy shit.

Finn: It appears to be Bandit Princess who survived GOLB from the Great Gum War.

The Nerd: Gumbald's Legion? Oh, no. This could only mean one thing. Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters survived GOLB, and they're getting revenge on you and your family.

Finn: This is what worries me mostly.

(A video plays where Dr. Gross, who survived an explosion, has a plan to capture humans and humanoids then the video stops.)

Finn: Dr. Gross also survived, too.

The Nerd: Oh, my God.

Finn: If they turn humans and humanoids into a cyborg army, the Land of Ooo will eventually become a land of cyborg and mechanical cities and I'll never marry a single girl.

The Nerd: Not the humanity! I've gotta destroy Gumbald's Legion of the Candy Kingdom Haters. But how?

Finn: Well, I think you, Mike, Kevin, Bootsy, Mandi, Cooper, Kyle and Keith may come to Ooo if you have to destroy Gumbald's Legion. If you destroy his legion, you save the Land of Ooo so I can ask Flame Princess to marry me. Now come over to the Land of Ooo. Pronto.

The Nerd: Sure, Finn. I'll be over to Ooo. ASAP. I'll see you there. (Hangs up)

April: Are you sure you'll be okay with this on your own, James?

The Nerd: Yes, I'm sure about this. We'll be back from Ooo. Take good care of Gina. She's the growing baby.

April: I'll take good care of her, James.

The Nerd: Come on, men. We've got work to take care of.