Marvel Spotlight (Marvel;Re)/An Unspeakable Christmas

An Unspeakable Christmas is a one-shot comic book and a sequel to The Unspeakable Gwenpool. The issue follows Gwenpool shortly after the events of her previous issue, also taking place after the events of Captain America's Avengers #1, which was her last appearance.

Synopsis
It's Christmas time in the world of Marvel;Re and it's finally the time of good will and loving one another. Or it should be, but it appears that someone is sucking the joy from people's hearts and no one has gotten their presents. Now, it's up to Gwenpool and a ragtag bunch of misfits consisting of herself, the villain turned hero Victorious, the grandfather of Asgard Tiwaz, and her villainous ally Grim Reaper, to find out what's happening and save Christmas.

Plot (unfinished)
A shadowy figure sits in a chair, observing countless monitors in front of him, each of which shows a different part of the world.


 * Mysterious Figure: Christmas... A time for the greedy to get what they want. A time for the selfish to get angry when their present isn't right. A time for corporations to milk what should be a holiday of joy. But I suppose it has been a good while since joy was ever a part of Christmas. Now all Christmas is is a time to get the newest phone, or the most expensive pair of shoes. Sickening...

All over the world, children run downstairs only to be greeted by no presents under the trees.


 * Child #1: Hey, where're my toys?
 * Child #2: Where's my bike?
 * Child #3: I thought I asked for games! Where are they?

The figure grits his teeth.


 * Mysterious Figure: I hate Christmas...

Smash cut to Gwenpool running through a shop in a festive scarf and Santa hat.


 * Gwenpool: I love Christmas!

Gwenpool pushes a cart incredibly fast and puts her feet on the back of it, riding the cart like a scooter. She rides it straight past her friend, Victorious, who is Christmas shopping with her.


 * Victorious: I don't think you're allowed to do that.
 * Gwenpool: Don't care!
 * Victorious: No, seriously, we could get kicked out if you keep doing that.
 * Gwenpool: But it's CHRISTMAS! Let me have a bit of fun!
 * Victorious: Careful, the cart looks like it's tilting so it might go a bit out of contr--

A loud crash is heard off-panel and the next thing we know, Gwenpool is walking back home with Victorious, band aids all over her face. Victorious carries all of the gifts thanks to her super strength.


 * Victorious: I tried to warn you.
 * Gwenpool: Eh, whatever, injuries like this never last. I'll be better again in a few jump cuts.
 * Victorious: So, who are all of these gifts for exactly?
 * Gwenpool: Oh, they're for a whole bunch of dudes. Iron Man, Hulk, Cap, Deadpool, Spi--
 * Victorious: Deadpool? I thought you hated him.
 * Gwenpool: Yeah, but it's Christmas! We gotta leave stuff like that behind!
 * Victorious: Man, you... really like Christmas, don't you?
 * Gwenpool: Hell yeah! And what's even better is that because of the weird sliding time of superhero universes, I get to celebrate Christmas multiple times before one year's passed!
 * Victorious: I don't know what that means but you seem happy so I'll support it!
 * Gwenpool: Hey, what's Christmas in Latveria like in this universe by the way? Just curious.
 * Victorious: Oh, it's pretty much the same. You know, gifts, snow, carols, all that stuff. Only it's a little harder to celebrate it since Doom, uh... Doom... kind of... tries to shoot Santa out of the sky whenever he sees him so he can gain the power of his magic sleigh.
 * Gwenpool: Yeah, that sounds like something he'd do.

The two finally arrive at Victorious' apartment flat and walk inside. Grim Reaper stands in the hallway waiting for them, holding a Christmas present.


 * Grim Reaper: Surprise!
 * Victorious: AAH!!
 * Grim Reaper: AAH!!

Victorious's hands light up with energy, dropping the presents, and Grim Reaper readies his scythe arm. However, Gwenpool leaps between the two before they can fight.


 * Gwenpool: Wait, wait, wait! This isn't what either of you think it is!
 * Victorious: What are you talking about!? That's Grim Reaper! He's from Hydra!
 * Gwenpool: Yeah, but he's my friend!
 * Victorious: ...What?
 * Gwenpool: We got to know each other when I first came to this world. He's a pretty chill guy underneath the grim and gritty persona!

Victorious allows the energy in her hands to stop flowing.


 * Victorious: Okay, well... it's... Well, it's not nice to meet you, but I guess I'll try to keep an open mind.
 * Grim Reaper: Likewise. Apologies for startling you, I was told this was where Gwen lived, I had no clue she had a roommate.
 * Victorious: Actually, we don't live together. This is my flat and she bums on the couch from time to time.
 * Gwenpool: Sad but true.
 * Victorious: How did you get in here, by the way?
 * Grim Reaper: I broke in.

Victorious awkwardly stares at him.


 * Grim Reaper: Oh, come on, you and I both know that that's the least illegal thing I've done in my entire life.
 * Gwenpool: What brings you here anyway?
 * Grim Reaper: Well, it's Christmas, so I thought I'd get you a little something!

Grim Reaper holds out his Christmas present.


 * Gwenpool: Oh, funny coincidence! I got you something too!

Gwen pulls out her own Christmas present. The two hand their gifts to each other and open them out, large grins on their faces. However, the smiles then stop after opening the boxes.


 * Victorious: What?
 * Gwenpool: This is an empty box.
 * Grim Reaper: What? No, that's not possible. I swear there should be something in there.
 * Gwenpool: Well, what about your present?
 * Grim Reaper: Mine... is empty as well.
 * Gwenpool: No way! I definitely got you something, man! Something you'd love!
 * Grim Reaper: What is going on?
 * Gwenpool: Victorious, turn on the news to see what's happening.
 * Victorious: Why would the news be reporting on this?
 * Gwenpool: This is a fiction story, the news is always reporting on something that moves the plot along.
 * Victorious: Uh... okay.

Victorious turns the TV on and flips to the news channel.


 * News Reporter: It's a sad Christmas day for people all over the world, as the presents that friends and family alike bought each other have gone missing. Countless children have been left in tears, countless adults have been disheartened, and no one is happy. It truly feels as if Saint Nicholas has skipped Christmas this year...

The news reporter looks to the ground, sadness in his eyes as purple smoke begins emitting from his body.


 * Grim Reaper: What's going on...?

Gwenpool turns to look out a window and her eyes widen in horror. Grim Reaper and Victorious both look out the window with her and are horrified to see purple smoke billowing all throughout the city, floating up into the sky and swirling around in a cloud so massive it covers all of New York.


 * Victorious: What the hell is that stuff?
 * Gwenpool: I don't know, but we gotta find out.

Gwenpool, Victorious, and Grim Reaper wander through the streets of New York. Everywhere they go, they're greeted by another sad face. Everyone is so sad that they're unable to even get basic tasks done, such as opening their car door.


 * Gwenpool: How is everybody this sad?
 * Grim Reaper: Their Christmas Joy is completely gone.
 * Victorious: This is so sad. It's even bringing me down...

Some purple smoke begins emitting from Victorious. However, Gwenpool bats the smoke away with her hand.


 * Gwenpool: No! No, no, no! None of that! Happy thoughts, think happy thoughts!
 * Victorious: O-okay, I'll try.
 * Gwenpool: You won't try, you will!
 * Grim Reaper: How do we fix what's going on here? There's some kind of force ripping the Christmas Joy from people. How do you fight against an invisible force...?
 * Gwenpool: Simple: You find the source of it!
 * Grim Reaper: Okay... how?
 * Victorious: I found it.
 * Grim Reaper: Excuse me?

Victorious points up at the purple cloud.


 * Victorious: You know how that smoke cloud is shaped like a circle? Well, there's actually something in the middle of the cloud that it's circling. That's probably the cause of it.
 * Gwenpool: How... would you know that?

Victorious points at her eyes.


 * Victorious: Super eyes! I can see stuff from miles away!
 * Grim Reaper: Now how do we get up?
 * Victorious: Do... do you not know anything about me?
 * Grim Reaper: What do you mean?
 * Victorious: Have you ever heard of me before?
 * Grim Reaper: I've heard you're an Avenger. Why?

Victorious smiles. The next thing we see is her flying incredibly fast through the air while Gwenpool tags along on her back and she carries Grim Reaper, who is screaming his head off.


 * Victorious: Can you be a little bit more quiet, please?
 * Grim Reaper: NO! I REFUSE!!

The mysterious figure continues to look at the screens in front of him. One of the screens begins making a loud noise and he turns to it, seeing Victorious, Gwenpool, and Grim Reaper flying on it.


 * Mysterious Figure: So, they're heading towards me, are they? Well, I can fix that...

He pushes a couple of buttons and a metal box is shot out the bottom of his base.


 * Mysterious Figure: Merry Christmas. Here's my present, from me to you...

Meanwhile, Victorious continues flying while carrying the other two.


 * Grim Reaper: Are you sure you actually saw something? We've been flying for a good while and we're still not there.
 * Victorious: I guess it was a lot higher up than I thought.
 * Gwenpool: Well, we're probably almost there.

The metal box slams straight into them and sends them crashing back to the ground. The three manage to get back on their feet.


 * Grim Reaper: Oh, wonderful, look forward to starting that journey all over again...
 * Victorious: What the hell hit us...?
 * Gwenpool: Uh... well, it appears to be a giant Christmas present.
 * Victorious: Wait, what?

The three look and see that the metal box is indeed painted like a giant Christmas present. Victorious walks up to it and puts her ear up to it to hear if there's anything going on inside. She gently knocks on the box. Seconds later, whatever is in the box punches right next to her head, leaving a giant fist-shaped indent.


 * Victorious: Uh-oh...

She steps away from the box as the thing inside continues trying to punch its way out, leaving dents with each punch.


 * Gwenpool: What the hell...?

The thing in the box explodes out of the top and dramatically lands in front of the three, though its landing is so powerful it creates a massive crater and dust billows around it. The three all look on, terrified, as the figure marches slowly towards them. Eventually, the dust clears up, revealing the figure appears to be a very festive redesign of the Destroyer armor, complete with red and green color scheme, Christmas lights wrapped all over its body which flash different colors, a headband with reindeer antlers attached, and a wreath around its neck.


 * Grim Reaper: ...Huh... You know, I don't know what I expected... but I don't think I expected that...
 * Victorious: You know, the Destroyer armor looks kinda cute like that.

The Christmas Destroyer, out of nowhere, rushes at Victorious and punches her in the stomach so hard that spit flies out of her mouth. It then pulls back and allows her to drop on the ground. She clutches her stomach while the Destroyer itself gets into a fighting position.


 * Victorious: Okay... I take it back... not cute anymore...

Gwenpool pulls out her katanas and jumps at the Destroyer.


 * Gwenpool: Nobody hurts my friends, you piece of--

The Destroyer raises its arm, allowing Gwenpool's swords to slice at his forearm, completely shattering them. Gwen then lands on the ground after her jump, staring at her broken swords.


 * Gwenpool: Oh... Oh no...

The Destroyer hikes up its leg, ready to bring its foot down on Gwenpool. However, Victorious manages to shake off the pain in her gut just in time to grab the Destroyer's foot as he's bringing it down. The two struggle for a while, Victorious a good portion of her strength to keep its foot away while the Destroyer attempts to crush both her and Gwenpool. Eventually, Victorious wins the struggle and pushes the Destroyer's leg back, causing it to trip and crash against the ground. Victorious then helps Gwenpool off the floor.


 * Victorious: You alright?
 * Gwenpool: I've had better days, not gonna lie.

The Destroyer instantly stands back up, charging up its energy beam.


 * Grim Reaper: Hey!!

The Destroyer turns and sees Grim Reaper standing directly in front of it. Reaper's scythe arm charges up an energy blast of its own, which Reaper explodes in the Destroyer's face. Grim Reaper then instantly charges up another blast and explodes that one as well. He continues doing this over and over again, not allowing the Destroyer to have a moment of rest.


 * Grim Reaper: My scythe's blasts pack a punch equal to 100 stacks of dynamite exploding at the same time. Time to find out how many stacks of dynamite it takes to blow up the Destroyer!

The Destroyer grabs Grim Reaper's scythe arm. Grim Reaper's face suddenly goes blank upon realizing what just happened.


 * Grim Reaper: ...Mercy?

The Destroyer charges the energy in its head once again, ready to fire it out of its eye slits. However, Gwenpool sneaks up behind it and grabs its head, forcing it to look up and fire its blast into the sky instead. It continues firing while attempting to look down and disintegrate Grim Reaper.


 * Gwenpool: GODDAMNIT, MY LIFE IS FREAKIN' TORTURE!!

The Destroyer stops firing its beam and grabs Gwenpool off of its back, lifting her up by the head. It then lets go of Grim Reaper's scythe arm and punches Gwenpool in the stomach so hard she instantly spits up some blood. It readies another punch but the Destroyer is punched in the head itself by Victorious, sending it flying and forcing it to drop Gwenpool. Victorious then drops to her knees, grabbing the hand she used to punch the Destroyer.


 * Victorious: I think I broke a knuckle while punching that thing...
 * Gwenpool: It's so freakin' strong...
 * Grim Reaper: Please tell me you beat it cause I'm pretty sure no amount of dynamite can actually destroy it.

The Destroyer stands back up.


 * Gwenpool: Oh God... We can't beat this thing... There's only one option left...

Gwenpool stands up, the wind dramatically blowing around her, the sun shining just behind her head, and a determined look on her face.


 * Gwenpool: Deux ex machina!
 * Destroyer: ?

A man in a red and white coat suddenly comes out of nowhere and decapitates the Destroyer with what appears to be a magic axe. The man then turns around, revealing his bearded face and friendly smile.


 * Jolly Old Man: Afternoon!
 * Victorious: Whoa...
 * Grim Reaper: Is that...?
 * Gwenpool: Santa Claus!

The old man gets ready to say something but stops, his smiling dropping as well.


 * Tiwaz: Santa... what? No. Why would you think that? My name is Buri, though I also answer to Tiwaz.
 * Gwenpool: Oh. Well, that's slightly disappointing.
 * Tiwaz: What made you think I was Santa?
 * Gwenpool: Well, you've got the beard, and the red coat and everything.
 * Tiwaz: I actually don't wear red very often. I thought I'd shake it up for a while.
 * Victorious: You really do look a lot like Santa Claus...
 * Tiwaz: I'm not Santa Claus! I'm the first Asgardian and the grandfather of Thor!
 * Gwenpool: Wait, really? Then why're you here?
 * Tiwaz: Because a terrible tragedy has occurred... someone is trying to destroy Christmas...
 * Grim Reaper: And they called... you for that...?
 * Tiwaz: When Christmas is on the line, you bring out the big guns.
 * Victorious: So, Mr. Tiwaz, do you know who exactly who is trying to destroy Christmas?
 * Tiwaz: No, but I have a hunch.
 * Victorious: What's your hunch?
 * Tiwaz: Well, it... no, nevermind, it's too out-there. Let's just go and find out who sent this Destroyer copy.
 * Grim Reaper: Copy?
 * Tiwaz: Oh, yes. The actual Destroyer is far more powerful than that thing. More than likely, the Destroyer you fought is just a mass-produced copy made by the mastermind of this plan to be his henchmen.
 * Gwenpool: Oh... so there's more... sweet...
 * Tiwaz: Fear not. For now you have me on your side! Let us go!

Tiwaz pulls out a large sack.


 * Tiwaz: This magic bag will allow me to carry all of you at once while we make our way up to the thing draining people's Christmas joy!
 * Gwenpool: You have a magic sack that can hold anything inside of it... and you're not Santa Claus?
 * Tiwaz: No! Stop asking me that!
 * Gwenpool: Whatever you say, man.

The three heroes all crawl inside of Tiwaz's magic sack. When they're all inside, Tiwaz throws the sack over his shoulder. Tiwaz then puts his finger on the side of his nose and nods, shooting up into the sky. Meanwhile, the mysterious figure hears another alarm.


 * Mysterious Figure: Another nuisancce?

He turns and sees Tiwaz flying towards him on one of his monitors.


 * Mysterious Figure: Wha...? You... No matter. I know exactly how to deal with you.

The mysterious figure launches more metal Christmas boxes at Tiwaz. Tiwaz flies straight through the first, blowing it to pieces, and then goes out of his way to fly through the rest, blowing them apart too.


 * Mysterious Figure: Hm... he may actually be able to make it here. I guess that means my friends and I will have to take care of him personally...

Tiwaz continues flying through the air until he reaches the source of the purple smoke.


 * Tiwaz: Finally... we're here.

The source is revealed to be a giant spaceship shaped like and painted to look like a Candy Cane.


 * Tiwaz: The Magical Spaceship of the Candy Cane Kingdom...
 * Grim Reaper (from inside sack): This has been a very weird day...

Tiwaz lands on top of the Magical Spaceship of the Candy Cane Kingdom and places his sack down, allowing the three to get out of it.


 * Victorious: Wow, it was super spacious in there.
 * Gwenpool: How the hell does that thing work?
 * Tiwaz: It's the home of a pocket dimension. Both it and the dimension were created for me by my elven servants as a gift.
 * Gwenpool: You have elves that work for you and make gifts and you're still convinced that you're not Santa Claus...?
 * Tiwaz: Yes! Now, follow me. This is the only entrance to the Magical Spaceship of the Candy Cane Kingdom.

Tiwaz walks over to what is quite obviously a chimney.


 * Tiwaz: The fall's deep but don't worry, you're in no risk of being injured.

Tiwaz drops down the chimney.


 * Tiwaz: Ho ho ho!
 * Gwenpool: Oh, you're kidding me!

Tiwaz hits the bottom of the chimney and rolls the moment he lands, getting back up very quickly. Meanwhile, Gwenpool and Grim Reaper smash on the ground and land on top of each other behind him. Victorious gently floats down and stands on top of them.


 * Gwenpool: Wish I had some goddamn superpowers...

Gwenpool and Grim Reaper get up.


 * Grim Reaper: How did we not break anything from that drop?
 * Gwenpool: Same reason none of us died while fighting the Christmas Destroyer back there. We're main characters. Can't put us out of commission.
 * Grim Reaper: What does that...?
 * Victorious: Hey, what's this stuff?

Victorious kneels down to the ground, which is covered in strange rainbow powder. Tiwaz also kneels down to it and sweeps some up with his finger. He looks at it for a bit and puts his finger in his mouth.


 * Victorious: Ew...

Tiwaz's eyes widen and he takes his finger out his mouth.


 * Tiwaz: Magic dust. But that means...

A golden arrow is shot out of the darkness and flies towards Tiwaz. However, Tiwaz catches the arrow mid-air moments before it hits him. He then licks the arrow tip.


 * Victorious: Oh God, seriously...?
 * Tiwaz: An arrow completely coated in magic dust. That means that...

Countless golden arrows fly out towards the four. However, Tiwaz jumps in front of every arrow that is about to hit one of the three, allowing himself to be shot in order to save them. After being shot so many times, he just stands there for a bit.


 * Gwenpool: Uh... are you okay?
 * Tiwaz: I'm fine.
 * Victorious: How did those arrows manage to hurt you?
 * Tiwaz: Even the likes of I aren't immune to the affects of magic dust.
 * Grim Reaper: How are you remaining so calm while there's literal arrows sticking out of you?
 * Tiwaz: I'm suppressing the pain as much as I can but, trust me, I am screaming on the inside.
 * Gwenpool: You can just, like, ignore pain? Damn, you're pretty badass.
 * Tiwaz: Thank you. But you should admire me later. First, let's find out where the people shooting at us are.
 * Victorious: Got it.

Victorious' arm lights up and she fires a blast into the air, lighting up the area and revealing an army of hundreds of men and woman in red and white hoods standing on railings above them while wielding bows, arrows, and swords. The four just stand there in silence.


 * Gwenpool: Oh crap.

The lights in the room turn on and the hooded people leap down into action. However, before they reach them, Tiwaz punches the air and the shockwave from his punch sends them flying back. In spite of this, they all manage to land perfectly fine on the ground and run towards the heroes (and Grim Reaper). A massive battle breaks out, with everybody doing their best to fend off the attacking hooded people. Gwen pulls out a new pair of swords from nowhere and starts slicing, Grim Reaper both slices and causes explosions that send them flying, Tiwaz tears through the army with his axe, and Victorious throws blasts and punches in every direction. Victorious manages to knock one of the men's hoods off, revealing he has platinum blond hair and pointy ears.


 * Victorious: What in the...?

The man attempts to stab Victorious but she snaps his sword and punches him in the head, knocking him unconscious. She then turns to the others.


 * Victorious: Hey, guys? Uh... These are Elves.
 * Grim Reaper: Excuse me?
 * Gwenpool: What?
 * Tiwaz: I knew it.

Tiwaz tosses his axe in the air and slams his fists together, causing another shockwave that knocks the Elves away from him. Tiwaz's axe then drops down and he catches it. He then turns to the Elves.


 * Tiwaz: I knew that my suspicions were correct the moment that I found that magic dust. The only people able to create enough magic dust to coat that many arrows are Elves. But I didn't expect it to be Light Elves... What madness has overcome you to turn you the way you are?
 * Light Elf #1: We are not the mad ones, Aesir.
 * Light Elf #2: Our minds have finally been awoken to the truth.
 * Light Elf #3: We worked ourselves half to death to make gifts for those who deserve it.
 * Light Elf #4: And now we realize...
 * Light Elf #5: None of them deserved it...
 * Gwenpool: "Gifts for those who deserve it"? You guys are talking like you're... Wait... No, there's no way...
 * Light Elf #6: But there is.
 * Every Light Elf: We are the Light Elves of the North Pole. And all naughtiness shall be destroyed by our hands!
 * Grim Reaper: This is the literal stupidest day of my life...