Banjo the Woodpile Cat (film)/Transcript

Chapter 1
(Song "He Couldn't Be Good" plays as the scene cuts to a map of Utah followed by the opening credits. It eventually zooms to a map of Payson, Utah. Finally, it zooms to a small farm with a woodpile as the song and credits. It is nighttime at the farm and the camera zooms to the house)

Narrator: Our story begins one night at the Jones residence. On this special night, three kittens are born...

(In the living room, a family and their cats look at the basket of hairless kittens with their eyes closed)

Banjo’s father - ah. Two girls and a boy.

Banjo’s mother - and one of them looks a lot like you.

Banjo's father: Heh, he sure does. Hmm... what names do you suggest?

Banjo’s mother - One will be called Emily, one will be Jean. And He’ll be called...?

Banjo’s Father - Uh... (Sees a banjo in the hall.) Banjo?

Banjo's mother: Banjo? Very cute name. And once a few days pass...

Man: (To the woman) Well, Mary, I guess we have the luckiest cats in the world.

Mary: Indeed we do, George.

(Mary and George's daughter, Penelope, goes by Banjo's mother and father)

Penelope: They're all adorable! (To her parents) Mama, papa, do we have enough cat food to feed them?

Mary: Of course, Penelope. We just bought enough food.

(Banjo's parents look out the window. The stars are twinkling tonight)

Banjo's mother: Rusty, it looks like we've got a bright future ahead of us.

Rusty: Yes. You’re right, Amber.

(A few days later, On a moonless night, Banjo and his sisters have grown a little with fur and are about to open their eyes in a few minutes. Penelope, Rusty, Amber, George and Mary notice this and smile)

Amber - Here it comes, Rusty. (Emily opens Her Eyes first, then Jean, then Banjo.)

Rusty: Hello there. (in Banjo’s point of view, He sees a blurry Rusty, then the blurs even out.)

(Each of the kittens rise up and look around in curiosity. Banjo slowly approaches Rusty.)

Rusty: Hello there, Banjo.

(Banjo looks up and sees His father’s face. Then Banjo feels His father’s wrist, and falls asleep.)

Amber: Isn't he cute?

Rusty: He sure is.

(Rusty softly scratches Banjo‘s head as Emily and Jean approach Amber)

Mr. Jones: If I have my camera, this would have been a moment that we can treasure for generations.

(Rusty, along with Amber and their kittens look up at the night sky.)

Rusty - Amber, Kids, look at the sky. (They look up.) It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it? And with that many stars in the sky, You can only imagine.

(Transition to a few weeks later...)

Narrator: However, as Banjo grew up, the real trouble began...

Chapter 2
(At sunrise, Banjo sees a chicken leave the coop and He tries to stop the chicken from leaving.)

Banjo - Hey, come back! stop!

Emily - Jean, looks like Banjo’s having some trouble.

Jean - I’ll say. Chickens can be tricky to control.

(Rusty chases Banjo)

Rusty - Banjo, chasing a chicken will make them more erratic!

Banjo - What?!

(Mr. Jones steps outside and notices Banjo, Rusty and the chicken running)

Mr. Jones: Doggone it, Banjo!

(Mr. Jones chases Banjo, as well.)

Banjo - (To the running chicken) Come on, go back to the coop!

Rusty - Son, I said chasing a chicken will make them erratic.

Banjo - What's erratic mean? (Rusty sighs exasperatedly)

Rusty - It means unpredictable!

Mr. Jones - (To Banjo) Stop chasing that chicken!

(Banjo trips, then the chicken turns around and pecks Banjo mercilessly.)

Rusty - Banjo!

(Mr. Jones shoos the chicken away from Banjo.)

Mr. Jones: Henrietta, you leave Banjo alone and go back to the coop!

(Henrietta does so)

Mr. Jones: That was close. At least Henrietta won’t try anything like that again.

Rusty - Son, I hope You learned something.

Banjo - Yes, dad. Never let the chicken leave the coop, ever.

Rusty - No, No. never chase a chicken to go back to the coop.

Narrator - Of course, that wasn't the end of it...

(Transition to Banjo gathering twigs and broken branches in a pile, with Rusty noticing.)

Rusty - What are you doing, Banjo?

Banjo - Well, Dad, I’m constructing a woodpile. I mean, that includes branches and twigs, right?

Rusty - Uh... Yes. Just... make sure you don't get yourself hurt. Um... are some of the branches rotting? Because rotted wood could have poison ivy or termites.

(Banjo checks the branches)

Banjo - Hmm. I can’t tell. most of the bark is intact, but... the insides are dark. (He moves on to make His woodpile as His father starts to worry, the a scene changes to morning)

Narrator - After a few days went on, Banjo was determined to make as big a woodpile as possible.

Banjo - Whew. it took three days, but it's complete. and it's all mine.

Emily - Banjo, what is that?

Jean - Looks like a tree half-buried.

Banjo - It's a woodpile. (Climbs up on the woodpile) and if You think You can steal it from Me, you're sorely mistaken.

Emily - Well, He's got the "sorely" part right.

Jean - I don't think Our brother should even be on the woodpile at all.

(Banjo starts to twitch)

Banjo - Uh-oh. (He falls down and twists His ankle.) Ow!

Emily - Ow is right.

Jean - You heard something like “the bigger they are”, right? (They both laugh, but they stop the second they see Rusty.)

Rusty - (Checking the ankle) Hmm. It’s not too serious. It’ll be okay after a few days, son. (He sees Emily and Jean try to sneak off.) also... (Emily and Jean react.) laughing at others expense, including your brother is not allowed. (Emily and Jean feel bad.) I mean, what if Banjo had a more serious injury, or worse?

(Inside the barn at night, Rusty has a conversation with His son.)

Rusty - Son, I know You’re only trying to help, keeping the chickens from leaving the farm, gathering wood for the winter, but it didn’t help much. but Once Your ankle heals, I’ll give You a task that most cats couldn’t fail at. Believe me.

Banjo - I— ok, Dad.

(The sun rises over the farm.)

Narrator - After a few days, Rusty felt that it was time for His son to catch mice and rats. Thus...

Rusty - Son, Your new task will be a mouser.

Banjo - But doesn’t being a mouse involve having a taste for cheese, or becoming small as that barn doorstop? (Rusty tries to stifle His laughter.)

Rusty - No! No. What I mean to say is that I'm going to teach how to catch a mouse and eat it.

(Banjo’s Sisters and Mother see what’s going on.)

Banjo - wha-- Doesn't a mouse taste horrible or do they have... diseases?

Rusty - You'd never know. (Rusty sees a rat.) There’s one! get Him!

(Banjo goes after the rat, but while Chasing the rat, Banjo accidentally knocks over an empty milk carrier and bucket, then crashes into a hay bale. But Banjo manages to get the Rat.)

Banjo - I finally got it!

Rusty: Well, now that you've got the rat, you'll have to eat it.

Banjo - Hmm. (Sniffs the rat.) weird smell, (Licks the rat.) Ugh! Tastes worse!

Rusty - Son, don’t be so picky!

(Amber enters)

Amber - What’s going on, Rusty?

Rusty: Well, Banjo caught the rat, but he won't eat it.

Amber - Eat it?

Banjo - (to the rat.) I’m letting You go. But, promise Me You won’t come back to cause any trouble. (The rat panics and leaves the farm.)

Rusty: (facepalming) No, no, no, Banjo...