Anthony Melfi vs Michael Rosen: Anthony Rant/transcript

This is a transcript of Anthony Melfi vs Michael Rosen: Anthony Rant

NOTE: Please don't editing!

MR: Hello, I'm Michael Rosen, I remember it so you don't have to. And I have a bone to pick with one "Anthony Melfi."

Footage/music from Anthony videos MR (voiceover): At least once of week one of your fans comments on my videos saying I am very similar to you. Oh yeah, an angry michael who's obsessed with the past? Never seen one of THOSE before. Footage of MR is added in for effect

MR: But the fact of the matter is these comparisons keep coming and coming and coming. And as both you and I know, there IS no comparison. I am by far the greater talent.

Footage of both of them, again for comparison MR (voiceover): I mean, you may have reviewed bad videogames, but I review bad MOVIES based on bad video games. Which is far worse. You may have reviewed the third Teletubbies movie, but I had the courage to review all three in a row.

MR: P.S. Horribifuckus is still copyrighted.

MR (voiceover): And you MAY have beaten the shit out of Dora The Explorer...

MR: But that's NOTHIN'. Here's a taste of what I do, to MYSELF. Scenes of MR going crazy from the Teletubbies review

MR: And if that's what I can do to me, just imagine what I could do to you. So, I say to you, Anthony Melfi--IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!--keep your fans under control. You don't see MY fans leaving threatening comments all over your videos. Like they should be! So, please, leave this petty, jealous rage behind you and simply acknowledge that I'm the better man. If you accept this defeat, please respond by leaving absolutely no comment whatsoever. In fact, don't even respond to this video. In fact, act like you have a million other things going on in your life that you wouldn't even have time to WATCH this video, let alone respond to it. Do that, and I will accept your apology.

Footage MR (voiceover): But, if there are anymore outbursts from you, Mr. Melfi...

MR: I swear to God, there. Will. Be. Words. ...Followed by...some more words. Followed by...maybe a few more words. And then, topped off with...AN ASS WHOOPIN'! ''The words "Ass Whoopin'!" appear on screen'' MR: I'm talking Anthony on Melfi action, and I assure you it will not be pretty. It will be...very unpretty...able. I'm Michael Rosen, I remember it so you don't have to. MR walks off screen, but leans in to give the "I'm watching you" gesture