What if Paramount Pictures produced "Over the Hedge"?/Transcript

(Paramount Pictures, Columbia Pictures, Nickelodeon Movies and Happy Madison logos start. The scene goes to black as we hear coins being inserted into a vending machine. RJ presses the buttons twice and a vending machine processes a small bag of Doritos Nacho Cheese. A bag gets stuck.)

RJ: (hits the vending machine) No! (hits again) Damn it!

(RJ enters the machine, tries to reach the bag but can't. RJ comes out of the machine.)

RJ: Gah! Hmm. (uses a grabber toy to take the bag) Come on, buddy, get the bag. Get the bag! Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it! (A grabber toy breaks) Oh, crap. (uses a boomerang and throws to hit the vending machine) That's right. Come to daddy. (A boomerang hits the vending machine but the bag is still stuck) What the hell?

(RJ tries to get the bag then the scene goes to RJ who kicks the vending machine and hurts his foot.)

RJ: Oh! Damn! (Takes a golf club and hits a vending machine as the lights go out) Take that! (Notices a bear cave) Huh. Vincent, what do you know? No, no. No, RJ. That's crazy. (His stomach growls and stops then he sighs in relief) All right.