The Evil Martin (2023)/Transcript

Scene 1: Ready or Not, Here I Come!

 * (Shows Warner Bros. Pictures/Warner Animation Group logo)
 * (Shows the Village Roadshow Pictures Logo on screen which zooms out, revealing it's from the moon)
 * (The shoot zooms out from the moon to a barn in Seminole, Texas on the night of August 5th, 2023. Then cuts to a spaceship penetrating the lower atmosphere, thus losing one of it's wings, which causes it to crash on the barn. It wakes up an person nearby)
 * Redneck #1: What the hell was that?!
 * (The Redneck gets out of bed, changes into his hunting clothes and loads his double-barrel. A pick-up truck arrives, with it's driver coming out of the car)
 * Redneck #2: Damn... You just saw what I just sawed?
 * Redneck #1: Straight, Earl. Let's find out what it is!
 * (Both of the Rednecks walk to the crash site, as a Texas Highway Patrol Officer arrives in his Jeep)
 * Texas Highway Patrol Officer: This ain't a normal downed Cessna or anything. This is far worse!
 * (All of a sudden, a door opens, revealing a man with grey skin, and an outfit that looks identical to RodexZombie)
 * Redneck #2: WHAT THE?!
 * (He fires a laser shot at the Texas Highway Patrol Officer, causing a hole to appear on his abdomen. He drops to the ground as he picks up Redneck #2 and slams him against a tree multiple times, but not before slamming him to the ground)
 * Redneck #1: Holy hell! Get me the fuck outta here!
 * (He fires another laser at Redneck #2, causing him to drop to the ground)
 * (ROBLOX Studios Logo appears as "In The End (Epic Cinematic Cover)" by Tommee Profitt, Fleurie & Jung Youth plays in the background)
 * (Cuts to Mike & Desmond's living room in the morning. Mike is playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 on his PS3 while Desmond is eating Fruit Loops)
 * Desmond: I dig your style, man! Hey, uh, when are your Jordan's gonna arrive?
 * Mike: Nah, they still got a few more days..
 * (Mike heads and opens a fridge, drinking water)
 * Mike: I mean, the recent Air Jordans that came out 2 months prior are hot on demand. They're nearly out of Air Jordans, man!
 * (Desmond gets a phone notification from FOX 7 Austin YouTube account)
 * Desmond: Hey, it's my favorite YouTube channel!
 * Mike: Really, dude? You watch those alt-right nerds?
 * Desmond: Bro, they ain't alt-right at all!
 * FOX 7 Austin Reporter: The aircraft crashed somewhere in Seminole, Texas, the same spot as where several bodies were found, 2 residents and a local Texas Highway Patrol officer who spotted the aircraft mistook it for a crashed Cessna.
 * Unknown: Texas National Guard!
 * (Reporter turns his head)
 * Texas National Guard Soldier #1: Shut off the camera!
 * (Desmond's screen turns into static)
 * Desmond: Man, these national guard dudes don't play soft, y'know.
 * Mike: But what's more strange is their reason. For what intention did they come to Earth? That's what worries me.
 * Desmond: Man, don't worry. It ain't nothin at all!
 * (Cuts to Dreamland AFB. A large steel cube is shown in the middle of a research lab, which is teeming with a dozen or so researchers. In view of the camera is a control booth, displaying readings from the various sensors inside the cube)
 * Scientist #1: Come on, people!
 * (The control booth operator leans forward, alerted to the various readings on the sensors)
 * Scientist #2: Test Subject ME-978 is trying to escape!
 * (Approximately five seconds later, a steel wall on the containment cube receives a sizable dent bending outward. The dent becomes larger before breaking. ME-978 is seen bending the steel away, frantically trying to escape. Emergency plates drop on the cube as a containment breach is sounded)
 * ME-978: You are no match for me, pests!
 * (Two security teams enter the room as ME-978 breaks out of containment. Live ammo is fired but has no visible effect.)
 * Army Soldier: Ammo's ineffective, switch to incendiary rounds!
 * (ME-978 kills both security teams and researchers with a grenade that causes them to turn into dust)
 * (Cuts to Mike's garage. Desmond is putting Mike's supplies in his 2009 Dodge Challenger SRT-8, while Mike enters his 2009 Challenger SRT-8)
 * Desmond: Stay safe, man. Nobody comes back from Dreamland AFB alive and tells the story without Men in Black sending them to Guantanamo Bay. The odds are only one in a thousand.
 * Mike: Better than nothing, Des!
 * (Mike gets out of his garage as "Lift Me Up" by Moby plays. Shot from his car zooms out)
 * (The Evil Martin title card appears)

Scene 2: They're Out There

 * (Shot from city zooms out to the sun, which is revealed to be in Seminole, Texas. Mike pulls over to the crash site. He gets out of his 2009 Challenger SRT-8. He then enters the aircraft)
 * Mike: Hey! Hello? Anybody here?!
 * (He then sees a glowing red computer. He touches only to find out it has called for reinforcements)
 * Mike: Oh no! I got to tell Des!
 * ("Tense Moment" by EvilDog Productions starts playing as Mike rushes for his 2009 Challenger SRT-8. He enters and drives away from the aircraft as Martin watches from a distance. He reaches for his Samsung Galaxy A12 and calls Desmond)
 * Mike: Des!
 * Desmond: What's up, man?
 * Mike: Dude, your gonna call me crazy, but when I boarded that aircraft, I just discovered something truly chilling! Whoever or whatever was on board has called for reinforcements!
 * Desmond: Homie, did something dope hit ya, cuz I don't understand ya!
 * Mike: It's real! Call Kirsten & Jerry and tell them to pack their bags! I'm coming to get them!
 * Desmond: Dude, don't come home until yo calmed down, ya heard?
 * Mike: Just pack your bags and wait for Kirsten and Jerry at home
 * Desmond: *Sighs* Sure man...
 * (Just as Mike ends the phone call, Martin fires a rocket towards his way)
 * Mike: Woah!
 * (Mike dodges the blast narrowly. Martin does the same again, but to no avail)
 * ME-978: Ah! This bad aim is my biggest burden!
 * (Mike arrives home as "Together in Hell" by EvilDog Productions plays)
 * Mike: Kirsten, Jerry! Are you guys alright?!
 * Kirsten: Alright? Mike, you've scared Jerry so much. And he's only 10!
 * Mike: I know!
 * (Turns to Jerry)
 * Mike: Hey little bro, Are you OK?
 * Jerry: You scared me alot...
 * Mike: It's OK. It won't happen again...
 * (Kirsten then turns on the TV and switches the channel to the news)
 * CNBC Reporter: …At 12:50 PM, several unidentified aircraft have been seen penetrating the lower atmosphere. It is believed that these aircraft are of extraterrestrial origin. If we really are dealing with an alien invasion, then citizens must seek shelter immediately, if any is available. We are now reporting to our correspondent in Los Angeles. Elizabeth?
 * Elizabeth: We are in L.A, one of the many impact sites for the unidentified aircraft! The people here are quite euphoric. Were gonna ask a girl right here. Ma'am?
 * Hippie #1: I'm not a Ma'am! And I hope they bring back Technoblade!
 * Elizabeth: Right... They are quite excited for the...
 * (TV glitches and turns to static)
 * Kirsten: Oh my god... They must have jammed the comms!
 * Elizabeth's Cameraman: Beth, something ain't picking this up!
 * Elizabeth: Must be the aircraft coming, then
 * (All of a sudden, the tripod lands in the ocean, and emerges 10 seconds later)
 * Elizabeth: The dust is clearing now.. This is such an epic moment in the history of mankind...
 * (The Tripod does a "Ulla" Cry similar to the Martians in War of the Worlds. "The Heat Ray Remix" by Jeff Wayne plays in the background. All of a sudden, it activates it's weapons and attacks the crowd. The reactions before it attacks are mixed. Some people are smart enough to run out of there, while others just stare at the tripod)
 * (Elizabeth runs as her cameraman drops the camera and runs alongside her. Her high heels make her nearly fall, but not before her cameraman carries her in his arms)
 * Elizabeth: Thanks, your amazing!
 * (Elizabeth's cameraman carries her as the crowd get slaughtered by the lasers. After running for 7 minutes, they seek shelter in an nearby News Van)
 * (Cut to Mike & Desmond's living room)
 * Kirsten: We got to get the hell outta here! It's not safe anymore!
 * Mike: True! Let's make like a tree and go to the countryside!
 * (Mike runs towards the window. With a horrified expression, he looks as the tripods wreak havoc)
 * Mike: They're here! Get in to my car!
 * ("The Fighting Machine Remix" by Jeff Wayne plays in the background)
 * (Everyone gets in Mike's Dodge Challenger SRT-8. He takes off and turns his head as Austin turns into chaos. While driving, the car is nearly hit by lasers. Mike turns his head to the rearview mirror only to witness that he is being chased by jet black Ford Taurus SHOs)
 * Mike: Oh, come on!
 * (The Taurus SHOs transform into something the Dreads from Transformers: Dark of the Moon, given the movie had some inspiration by Dark of the Moon. He steps on the Dodge Challenger SRT-8's throttle as the robots turn once again into Taurus SHOs. One of the Taurus SHOs loses control and crashes into a oncoming 18-wheeler. One of the Taurus SHOs nears the Challenger SRT-8)
 * Desmond: Hey man, look out! Robot dude, right there!
 * (The Taurus SHO uses a P.I.T Maneuver, which Mike somehow avoids. With an angered expression on his face, he gets out an TEC-9 from his pocket and fires at the windows. It turns out the Taurus SHOs are self-driving cars that can transform into robots)
 * Mike: They're robots!
 * Desmond: Jesus! I read tons of sci-fi comic books, but this ain't freaking normal at all!
 * (One of the Taurus SHO trades paint with the Challenger SRT-8. Mike once again shoots the Taurus SHO all over the body. It causes it to lose control and crash to a gas station. The camera then switches to a red button with the black text "EMERGENCIES ONLY")
 * Mike: I like to keep these for close encounters.
 * (Mike pushes the red button, causing machine guns & a rocket launcher to appear alongside a force field around the car. The machine guns and rocket launcher destroy all of the Taurus SHOs)
 * Mike: *Does a fist pump* Yes!
 * (Mike drives away from the pileup. Scared, Jerry looks out to the window as a tripod fires rockets and lasers towards buildings and people. Jerry hugs Kirsten)
 * Kirsten: It's okay, Jerry... We'll be fine...
 * Jerry: *cries* W-What have we done to deserve this..
 * Kirsten: Nothing, little bro. They just want this planet.
 * Desmond: Dammit... Austin's a lost cause, man! What the heck do we do now?
 * Mike: I don't know Des. Let's just go to my mom's place. There we can stay for a week and then seek shelter in the desert.
 * (While looking at the GPS, he sees an oncoming coach. He swerves and loses control of his ride and rolls over)
 * Desmond: Holy!
 * Mike: Oh No!
 * (The car crashes in an supermarket car lot)
 * Mike: Is everyone okay?
 * Kirsten: Don't drive like that ever again!
 * Mike: Kirsten, what matters the MOST right now is our survival!
 * Mike: We gotta swap rides. It's likely that Challenger is useless after that beating.
 * (Mike approaches the now wrecked 2009 Dodge Challenger SRT-8. He puts his hand on the hood, while he blinks, and sheds a tear)
 * Mike: If were gonna go to mom's, we better find a car!
 * (Mike approaches a Chevrolet Silverado 1500, and tries to get in, but it's locked)
 * Mike: Not this one!
 * (Mike approaches a Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX and tries to get in again, but it's locked)
 * Mike: This one's locked too!
 * (Approaching a Porsche Panamera Turbo, he tries to open it)
 * Mike: All the cars in here are locked! And their owners are nowhere!
 * Desmond: Guess we have to look broader, then.
 * (Mike turns his head to a red muscle car)
 * Mike: Is that what I think it is?

Scene 3: Mustang vs. Bridge Under Construction

 * (Mike and Desmond walk to the red muscle car, which is revealed to be a 2011 Ford Mustang GT. "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" by Tomoyasu Hotei plays on the background)
 * Mike: Oh yeah...
 * (Mike enters the car)
 * Mike: Kirsten, Jerry, I found a car to get us to Mom's!
 * (Everybody enters the car)
 * Mike: Now let's rock & roll outta here!
 * (Cut to an freeway littered with abandoned cars)
 * Kirsten: Hey, I don't think your going the right way!
 * Mike: I'm going the right way. Either way, there's no choice!
 * Kirsten: Are you nuts?! That bridge is like, under construction!
 * (Mike takes a sharp turn, steps on the pedal, ready to make the jump)
 * Mike: Here we go!!
 * (Mike takes the jump, successfully making it)
 * Desmond: We did it... I never thought we'd make the jump!
 * Mike: God's never left my side - not even once. That's why..
 * (Desmond looks out the window to see a Tripod destroy a bridge using lasers & rockets. "Norman Jayden's Main Theme" by Normand Corbeil plays. The camera zooms out from the city as the tripods destroy it)

Scene 4: Dialogue With The Lord

 * (ME-978 arrives at the Texas Capitol and sits on an pile of debris. "We All Work for the Decepticons" by Steve Jablonsky starts playing as a hologram of Megatron appears)
 * ME-978: My liege - the human settlement known as Austin is now under our control.
 * Megatron: Fine work, my servant. This human settlement will be the many first! Your supposed to meet up with Starscream, were you?
 * (ME-978 turns his head to a F-22 Raptor coming near) ME-978: Yes, my liege... He's already coming.
 * (The F-22 Raptor transforms into Starscream. ME-978 ends the call)
 * Starscream: ME-978. It's a pleasure to meet you!
 * ME-978: So too, Starscream.
 * Starscream: The downfall of humanity has already begun... The 1st settlement lost, is the first part of Earth under our control. I plan on testing our most powerful weapon. The City Destroyer!
 * (Starscream turns his head, smiling)
 * Starscream: And I know where!

Scene 5: Baghdad Is Gone

 * (Cut to Baghdad, Iraq. Two men are at an balcony. One man is smoking a cigarette. All of a sudden, an object appears)
 * Arab #1: ما هذا بسم الله؟ (Translation: What is this in the name of God?)
 * (An object, similar to a City Destroyer from Independence Day comes into view. It positions itself at the Baghdad Tower. Inside, ME-978 is watching an screen with the words: TARGET ACQUIRED - BAGHDAD, IRAQ)
 * ME-978: The world belongs to the Decepticon Empire!
 * (All of a sudden, the weapon fires, causing a firestorm, killing the two men watching it)
 * Arab #1: ما بسم الله !؟ (Translation: What in the name of god!?)
 * (Cut to Mike, Desmond, Kirsten and Jerry in Mike's 2011 Ford Mustang GT, driving in an empty field towards the gated community of Richmond Hills where Mike's mom lives in Winters, Texas)
 * Desmond: Hey man, check out what's on the radio!
 * (Static comes from the radio as Mike continues to switch stations)
 * Youth KW 9.0 Host: …And this is Youth KW 9.0, America's best radio station, if your a teenager! Time for us to take in another call! Hello?
 * Caller #1: What the hell? Don't y'all of ya get it? The world's ending, for crying outloud!
 * Youth KW 9.0 Host: I beg your pardon?
 * Caller #1: Beg pardon my ass! The world is ending, the god's sake! They're sayin' LA's turned into 'Nam, and some crazy shit happened in Baghdad. The world's ending, man!
 * (The host closes the call)
 * Youth KW 9.0 Host: You need to relax, buddy! If there was a war going on, wouldn't we be forced off the....
 * (An explosion happens and sounds of struggling emerge before static appears)
 * Mike: Fuck....
 * Desmond: What do we do now?
 * Mike: Get to my mom's. If she's dead, we bury her and escape to Mexico, end of story. That's a "what-if?", alright Des? If she's alive, we worrying for nothing! Or, if she's alive, take her, get my old man

Scene 6: Analog Again

 * (The team arrive at Mike's mom. Mike turns on the lights. He sits down on the sofa, shell-shocked, as Kristen looks at the fridge to cook something)
 * Kirsten: Should we..... eat something? Mike? Mike, is everything alright?
 * (Desmond touches his shoulder and he turns back, frightened)
 * Mike: Was that you Des?!
 * Desmond: That was me, bro! I was really afraid of your ass, man.
 * (Mike gets the remote control)
 * Mike: I hope we get a channel working. We need to know what the heck is happening 'round the world!
 * (He surfs the channels, only getting static, "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES" or the National Air Force Anthem from WYES from 1988 on the screen)
 * Desmond: Maybe they don't work?
 * Mike: Plan B.... You got a radio?
 * Desmond: We could use the car radio....
 * Mike: That shit is through, Des! We ain't gonna go outside for anything
 * (When it lands at Channel #50: CNBC, they finally get a signal. In the screen is an white and blue room with the logo of the U.S Government in the middle)
 * Robotic Voice: Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States
 * (The President then comes up to the podium)